Here is the latest chapter of my Equestria Girls and Tiny Toons crossover. I do apologize if it took so long. I was caught up with work and other fanfiction and art projects. In this chapter, we learn why Yamcha is in Acme Acres. PedroAlien11, I decided to tone down Fifi's french accent so that her dialogue is easier to read. Should I do it with the previous chapters and other stories that feature French characters? When you read this chapter, you'll notice in the flashbacks, certain Dragon Ball characters' behaviors are different from canon. But anyway, enjoy reading everybody.
Chapter 14: The Story of Yamcha
When she regained consciousness, Fluttershy woke up to find her family, Rainbow Dash, Fifi and Furrball staring at her. "Where am I?" asked Fluttershy.
"You're in Acme Acres hospital," said Mr. Shy.
"What happened to those hoodlums that tried to kill me?" asked Fluttershy.
"They've been all arrested and the leader was killed by one of your rescuers," said Furrball. Yamcha, Puar and Lycanroc stepped forward.
"We were the ones who saved you," said Yamcha.
"Who are you?" asked Fluttershy.
"My name is Yamcha," said Yamcha.
"You can call me Puar," said Puar.
"And right here is my loyal Lycanroc," said Yamcha. Lycanroc barked hello.
"You're not from around here, are you?" asked Fifi.
"No. I originally didn't live here," said Yamcha.
"What's your story? You don't look like a local resident," asked Rainbow Dash. Yamcha let out a sigh.
"No. I'm not. I'm from the surface," said Yamcha. And he began to explain his backstory. "I was originally a desert bandit who prowled the Diablo Desert, with Puar by my side," said Yamcha.
"I was originally a student from Southern Transformation Kindergarten. But I was bullied by Oolong, a no good, perverted pig. But I got my revenge when I got him expelled for stealing our teacher's panties," said Puar.
"I'll never understand perverted men's obsession of stealing panties," said Rainbow Dash, with disgust in her voice.
(Insert "Dragon Ball Theme")
"I then met Yamcha and we robbed anybody who came in our territory. But one day, our lives would change forever. We met a young boy who studied martial arts named Goku. He was trained by Gohan, one of the greatest martial artists who ever lived. Goku was traveling with a girl my age named Bulma. Oolong was with them too cause Bulma made him her slave with a special laxative called a PP Candy that makes him go to the bathroom with an extreme case of diarrhea," said Yamcha.
"Le yuck! More like eet should be called ze Poo Poo Candy," said Fifi, looking disgusted.
"That's what Oolong said too when he was first affected by it. And he's still affected by it to this very day," said Yamcha.
"So why did you encounter them?" asked Fluttershy.
"Bulma was looking for a perfect boyfriend by some magical means and was too lazy to do it the hard way," said Yamcha.
"Hmph. Zat ees being lazy. Whenevair I see a boy zat I want as my boyfriend, I must be forward weeth my feelings. Not wish him eento exeestence. She can't play God," said Fifi.
"Yes. I tried to rob them, but Goku actually fought back. And he was only twelve years old. But it was hard to fight him with Bulma in the area. I used to very shy around girls and freeze up every time a pretty girl is in the same area as me. But eventually, Bulma decided that she didn't need to find a perfect boyfriend by magical means and we decided to date," said Yamcha.
"That sounds romantic," said Fluttershy.
"Oui," said Fifi.
"It started out romantic, until I started to learn about Bulma's true colors over time," said Yamcha.
"Whatevair do you mean?" asked Fifi.
"Bulma tends to very bossy toward me and treats me and others like her slaves. I mean, enslaving Oolong with that laxative is the proof. And she's also a massive hypocrite," said Yamcha.
"Define her way of being hypocrite," said Furrball.
"She says it's not okay for me to look at another woman with attraction. But yet, she goes gaga over a more handsome man," said Yamcha. Fifi growled angrily.
"She's a worshippair of ze unfair sex cliche. Making eet look like women are flawless, when zey're not. Eet's zat kind of theenkeeng zat makes us women look bad. Some ov us even get treated like dirt by men, accusing us of thinking alike," said Fifi.
"Yes. She once broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. But in reality, I was fighting a criminal. She had the nerve to attack me and she almost doomed the park because the criminal tried to blow it up. But because of Bulma's actions, she was accused of being an accomplice of Hasky. I remember when it happened," said Yamcha.
Years Ago . . .
Bulma was returning to Capsule Corp. after she decided to stop looking for the Dragon Balls to get a replacement boyfriend due to the Red Ribbon Army. When she arrived, she saw some police cars and officers waiting outside of Capsule Corp. "Um, can I help you?" asked Bulma.
"There she is, arrest her!" said the Police Chief. Several cops grabbed Bulma by the arms.
"Hey! What are you doing?!" asked Bulma.
"Bulma Briefs, you are under arrest for the crime of aiding Hasky in her attempt to blow up the amusement park," said the Police Chief.
"What?! Who's Hasky?!" asked Bulma.
"Don't play innocent. She was a thief hired by the Red Ribbon Army. And you were aiding her when you attacked Yamcha when he was fighting her," said the Police Chief.
"They weren't fighting! They were kissing!" said Bulma.
"Save it for the judges, miss," said the Police Chief. Bulma was taken into the patty wagon, kicking and screaming.
A few days after her arrest, Bulma was put on trial. Oolong saw this an opportunity to get even with Bulma for feeding him the PP Candy. Even if it meant telling lies. "Oolong, how long have you've known Bulma?" asked the judge.
"For almost a full year. Ever since I met her, she's been the bane of my existence!" said Oolong.
"Go on," said the judge.
"She fed me this laxative in order to make me her slave! Whenever I try to defy her, she would say a word that makes me go to the bathroom! She'll even do it when I'm not doing anything just for a sick laugh!" said Oolong.
"Shut up, you piggy!" said Bulma. This caused Oolong to poop in his pants. Everybody glared at Bulma.
"That's animal abuse!" said a person.
"You bitch!" said another witness. Oolong growled angrily at Bulma.
"In court, I have every right to say what I have to say! And you can't get me to shut up!" said Oolong. And to show that he meant business, he turned into a mallet and bashed her in the head, giving her a goose egg. People laughed at Bulma. "And I know exactly why she aided Hasky. There were these other girls that were attracted to the boy she liked, Yamcha. Bulma grew jealous and she decided to get rid of the competition by killing them. And what better way to do it then blow up the park while they were in it," said Oolong.
"You sicko!" said Girl #1.
"We can't help it if Yamcha is handsome," said Girl #2.
"You have no right to do what you tried to do!" said Girl #3. Very soon, it was Puar's turn.
"Your honor, what Oolong says about Bulma is mostly untrue. You see, we both went to shapeshifting kindergarten together. Oolong's nothing but a lying bully and a pervert. He stole panties from our teacher and was expelled for it. He even kidnapped women after being expelled. So when Goku and Bulma met Oolong, they stopped his life of crime. It's true that she did give him a laxative, but she only used it when he tried to flee from them or acts rude to Bulma. She doesn't abuse it for kicks. And Bulma's not a criminal. She wouldn't want to kill people just to get what she wants. As much as I don't like how Bulma treats my friend, Yamcha badly, I don't want to see her sent to jail for a crime she didn't commit," said Puar. Some of the women who were victims of Oolong also said their accounts of their encounters with the perverted porker, including Oolong and Puar's teacher. Oolong growled angrily.
No matter what the situation Puar, you're always being a tattletale to get me into trouble!, fumed Oolong in his head. At last, it was Yamcha's turn.
"I've known Bulma for almost a full year. And she's never showed any desire to murder the competition just to keep me. Oolong is telling lies just because he wants payback for the times she rightfully hit him for being a pervert. Some of you were just overreacting, just like Bulma was," said Yamcha.
"What do you mean I was overreacting?" asked Bulma.
"You immediately assumed that I was making out with Hasky when in reality, she was trying to kill me!" said Yamcha.
"You're lying! I'm the one who's right and you are the one who's wrong!" said Bulma.
"No you're not!" said Yamcha.
"I am! Men are always wrong and women are always right when it comes to arguments!" said Bulma.
"What you say is nothing but a bunch of sexist crap! And that makes you sexist too!" said Oolong.
"Women can't be sexist!" insisted Bulma.
"Oh yes they can! I've met plenty of women who are sexist! But I put them in their places thanks to my shapeshifting!" said Oolong, with pride in his voice.
"Yamcha's not allowed to look at another woman!" said Bulma.
"That's big words coming from somebody who was falling a gay Red Ribbon Army general," said Krillin smugly.
"WHAT?!" asked Yamcha, getting angry.
"He's lying," said Bulma.
"I'm not. I was there," said Krillin.
"You hypocrite! Your loyalty is worse than mine!" said Yamcha.
"There is one way to prove who's telling the truth. Bring in Hasky," said the judge. Some guards brought the thief known as Hasky. "Hasky, Bulma claims that you were making out with Yamcha. But Yamcha says you were trying to kill him. Who's telling the truth?" asked the judge.
"The one who's telling the truth . . . is Yamcha," said Hasky.
"What?!" asked Bulma.
"It's true. I tried to kill Yamcha cause he was in the way of the task I was hired to do by the Red Ribbon Army. And Bulma thought I was making out and hit Yamcha with a chair. In other words, because of her, I almost succeeded in blowing up the park if it weren't for Goku," said Hasky.
"I told you I was right," said Yamcha.
"Looks like you're the one who's wrong this time, like it should be!" sneered Oolong.
"Are you saying that you like it when I'm wrong?!" asked Bulma.
"Yes," said Oolong.
"Why you!" cried Bulma. She tried to strike at Oolong, but guards held her back.
"Order! Order!" said the judge, banging his gavel. Very soon, everybody else gave their testimonies about Bulma, including her family. And finally, it was time to decide the verdict.
"Gentlemen of the jury. Have you reached your verdict?" asked the judge.
"We have your honor. And we find the defendant, Bulma Briefs . . . not guilty," said the jury. Oolong growled in disappointment, while some of her friends and family sighed with relief.
"Bulma, even though you've been proven innocent, I hope this teaches you a lesson about treating your friends better," said the judge.
"Yes, your honor," said Bulma. She turned to Yamcha and the others.
"So, are you going to apologize or what?" asked Yamcha.
"I'm . . . I'm . . . ," stuttered Bulma.
"Come on. Say it already," said Yamcha, sounding impatient.
"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I was wrong and you are right! You're happy?!" asked Bulma.
"Yes," said Yamcha.
Present Time . . .
"I guess admeetteeng zat she was wrong was how you say, venom een Bulma's mouth," said Fifi.
"It was. But unfortunately, Bulma never really learned her lesson. She kept falling for men who were bad and scorning me if I look at or talk to another woman even when I wasn't flirting with them. But then, one day, I decided enough was enough," said Yamcha.
"What happened?" asked Furrball.
"She had sex with a man who she wasn't married to and was impregnated because of that. This guy was named Vegeta and he was a killer and foe of Goku. Even though he helped Goku in a battle against an even bigger threat, I still didn't trust him. And I was going to propose to her when I found out," said Yamcha.
"LE WHAT?!" exclaimed Fifi angrily.
"I still remember our last argument," said Yamcha.
Years Ago . . .
When Yamcha found out that Bulma was pregnant, he was absolutely furious. He and Puar burst into the room where Goku, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Piccolo, Bulma, Krillin, Oolong, Vegeta and Bulma's parents were in. "How could you do this to me, Bulma?!" asked Yamcha.
"Do what?" asked Bulma.
"Don't play innocent! I heard everything! I heard you slept with Vegeta and got pregnant with his child!" said Yamcha.
"You were never exactly an honest person with me, either," said Bulma.
"But you made love with someone who wasn't married to you! And he's a killer!" said Bulma.
"It wasn't my place to tell you," said Vegeta.
"But it was your place to steal her from me, you thief!" said Yamcha.
"It wasn't like that. I wanted to sleep with him," said Bulma.
"You think you did. You don't know him like we Z-Fighters do. He's kills, destroys planets to get what he wants! Anything to get what he wants. He's killed more people than Goku! He may be staying on Earth, but he still wants to kill Goku!" said Yamcha.
"No, that's not true!" said Bulma.
"I thought you'd learn your lesson after you were accused of being Hasky's accomplice! We were wrong!" said Puar.
"The game's over, everybody. I quit," said Yamcha. Yamcha began to leave.
"Yamcha, wait," said Krillin. He grabbed at Yamcha's arm. But with his other arm, Yamcha punched Krillin, knocking him down.
"Fine! Be a sore loser! But I say that I will always be right and you will always be wrong! Including in that incident with Hasky! The only reason why I admitted it opposite cause I was forced to! You will never get me to change my mind about who's right and who's wrong in an argument! You still need to learn that!" said Bulma. Hearing that made Yamcha even more angry than he already was.
"Learn?! I'm tired of you! Your brattiness! Your stupidity! And your supreme arrogance! Don't you ever enter my life again! Do you hear me?" asked Yamcha. Bulma was silent. "DO YOU HEAR ME?!" yelled Yamcha.
"Fine. I won't enter your life again cause we don't need you," said Bulma. Yamcha then threw a small box onto the ground.
"Here! Take this! I'm sure it'll look good on you on your wedding day with that murderer!" yelled Yamcha. Yamcha and Puar then left, slamming the door behind them.
Present Time . . .
"I never seen or kept in contact with them ever again. They've been so dependent on stronger fighters to help them that I've been sidelined. So after moving to Acme Acres, I decided to train harder than ever before. Prove that I can be a strong fighter in my own right! And it was during that time that I met my Rockruff, which Lycanroc evolves from," said Yamcha. Fifi was in tears after hearing about Yamcha's past.
"Vous had a girlfriend and devoted your whole life to her! And she rejects you een favor of a murderer?! Oh, ze tragedy! Ze heartbreak!" said Fifi. The purple skunkette sobbed loudly as she buried her face in Fluttershy's shoulder.
"I've mostly gotten over it. I vowed to never get into romance again. Cause women like her will weigh you down and use men like me for their selfish gain. And once they're done with you, they'll cast you aside like a broken tool," said Yamcha bitterly.
"What do you do for a living other than fighting?" asked Furrball.
"Well, I do baseball," said Yamcha.
"I'm a sports person too," said Rainbow Dash. Fifi wiped her eyes with a tissue.
"Maybe as a zank you for saving our owner, can vous teach Furrball, Fluttershy and moi self defense?" asked Fifi.
"And maybe also be a baseball coach for Acme Looniversity?" asked Furrball. Yamcha thought for a moment.
"I think I'll give it a shot," said Yamcha.
"Thanks. Even though I don't like fighting, I would like a way to defend myself," said Fluttershy.
"Of course. You won't regret it," said Yamcha.
One of the dogs that was part of the group of cat haters was in the pound when one of the guards came to his cage. "You're owner is here. He paid your bail," said the guard. The dog's owner walked up to the cage. He was not happy about how his dog was associating with criminals. After his cage was unlocked, the owner grabbed his dog by the collar.
"Stupid dog! You make me look bad!" scolded the Dog's Owner.
I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I thought it would be interesting if somebody accused Bulma of being Hasky's accomplice and her being falsely arrested due to her attacking Yamcha. But as you read, even after being cleared of charges, she secretly didn't learn her lesson. The other Dragon Ball characters will show up in present time later in the story and you'll learn that consequences catch up to Bulma for her attitude and she can't weasel her way out. Oolong is more villainous in this story too and as you read, he won't hesitate to find an opportunity to get back at Bulma for every single abuse inflicted on him. Next chapter will probably be an adaptation of "Buster at Bat", with Yamcha added in. See you next time.