It has been a month since Hogwarts fourth year ended. Harry was sent back to his relatives, and was given strict instructions to not do anything risky. The boy was angry and was rightly so, he has gone through such rough and tragic ordeal yet now he had no one to talk to.
In the beginning of the holidays he had tried to remain stubborn and strong and deal with things. But as the time went by he was starting to break. His nights were plagued with nightmares of his parents, and Cedric's death, accusing him and telling him that he was responsible for their early departure. At first he had tried to fight them but as the days went by and without anyone else's help he succumbed to them. But that is where not his hardships end, he had just one escape from his relatives and that was he had a convicted Godfather but that escape was also taken away from him by Dumbledore writing a letter to them and explaining about Sirius and why he will not be able to take care of his godson.
His relatives were not happy to listen to this is to say the least.He was once again reintroduced to the generous, loving and kind care of one Vernon Dursley. He was reacquainted with his uncle's leather belt which he had not tasted for at least a year. And this treatment really filled him with despair and loathing.
Now it's been a month, his friends have written nothing of importance and his godfather was telling him to behave. Listening to Sirius telling him to behave himself filled him with disappointment and anger, this was not what he was expecting from the man, he had hoped that at least his godfather will be honest with him and care about his feelings but alas that was not the case. But this is not where the betrayal ends, last week they had also kept his beloved owl Hedwig as a prisoner and did not allow her to come back to him. They had sent a letter from another owl saying that it was dangerous for Hedwig to be there with him and to be seen anywhere else, the death eaters could hurt her and by trying to save her Harry himself may jeopardise his own life. They were explaining themselves and of course they were right afterall it was for Harry's own good.
Harry was sitting on his bed feeling lonely, abandoned and betrayed. He was utterly broken and was looking nothing like himself. He was always a scrawny and skinny kid but because of Hogwarts food and Quidditch he did gain some needed pounds. Well now, it looks like he has lost more weight than he had gained in the last 4 years. His eyes have lost its shine and glow, and moving around was really painful after the numerous happy encounters with Uncle Vernon's beloved weapon of choice, his belt.
He was heartbroken and lost. He had tried a lot of things to cope up with his pain but nothing worked. He had a small silver pocket knife, a gift from his Godfather, he had got it on his 14th birthday. Since the last two weeks he has been using that knife to cut himself, thin fine red lines covered his bicep and tricep area and the inner region of his thighs. This pain caused by self harm had helped him to overcome the unimaginable pain of abandonment and betrayal.
Today was the worst day of all for the young man. He had not slept the whole night as he was haunted by the ghosts of his parents and Cedric blaming him for their death. Other than that, last night's punishment was the worst one of that summer and the reason because of which he got it was most peculiar, he got it because Dudley wrongfully blamed him for his less marks and God knows with what logic Uncle Vernon did agree with his cousin and had happily showed his discontent.
He was in his lowest spirits, not really knowing what to do. Since the last few days he has been thinking about ending his pain and suffering but everytime when he really thinks about it he would instantly abandon the idea,but today was different very very different.
Harry Potter was finally broken, the few days of isolation mixed with the usual abuse succeeded in doing the thing that even Lord Voldemort could not do. He was sitting in his desk chair shoulder slumped, expressions blank and his unruly hair covering a part of his eyes.
Last few letters from his friends and his Godfather were sitting on his small cluttered table telling him to stay put. But now he can't really do that, not anymore he was done with them, but more importantly he was done with himself. He looked down at his hand he was holding a pocket knife.
He was scared to do what he was about to do but for the very first time in days he was thinking clearly. He was filled with grim determination to let the others know the reason because of which he was going to take such a big decision. He will make sure that people knew how had they failed him. He quietly rummaged through his desk and found a small notebook. He had started to write the letter to The Order and once he was done he left it on his desk with a paperweight resting on it.
Harry settled on his small, dirty bed. He was slightly leaning on the wall. He looked at the knife once again. He knew cutting his wrist will not help that the people of the order will be able to save him somehow but he did not wanted to be saved. He really could not take the pain of isolation, abandonment, guilt, shame and many other emotions that he could not describe anymore. So, he decided to cut his jugular vein in the neck. He knew it was going to hurt but he would also bleed out swiftly hence ending all pain. He was shitless scared and why should he not, but ironically it was during this time his famous Gryffindor courage kicked in.
In one swift motion he had cut through the Jugular vein and the blood spluttered out. He choked on his own blood it was painful, oh so very painful. His last thoughts were " I am sorry that I did this I am sorry that you all will have to go through so much pain I know some of you really cared about me, but you never did anything for me and now I am really sorry but I could not see any other way.". And then he welcomed the unconsciousness.
In the morning, when Dumbledore entered his office he saw that the blood wards had failed. For a few seconds he was stumped about what had happened. After collecting himself he floo to a few trusted Order members (Kingsley Shacklebolt, Nymphadora Tonks, Alastor 'mad-eye' Moody and Remus Lupin) and together they went to check the wards of Privet Drive. Little did they know that they were too late, too late to keep the wards intact and too late to help the child that needed their help.
THE END