All around me, the only thing I see is a sea of flames.
Flames marred with darkness that is hard to miss even for a normal person.
And walking among this sea of flames is a single child.
His red hair which usually made him stick out like a sore thumb among his fellow Japanese, was now blended in perfectly with the surrounding flames. His empty golden eyes see everything around him, yet his mind cannot comprehend what is happening.
And watching this boy wander the ruins in search of salvation, I felt nothing but pity. Because I knew, that if things were different, a single choice made by a single person was different, I too would have gone through what the boy in front of me was going through.
Under the illumination of the cursed flames and the black sun in the sky, the boy's body finally failed him as he collapsed on the ground, helplessly reaching out to the sky in hopes of being rescued. A hope he knew to be futile.
In my opinion, it would have been kinder for the boy if he had died then and there because the fate that awaited him afterward was not something that I would wish on even the worst of my enemies.
And yet, this memory continued to play out in the manner that it usually does.
The boy's prayer for salvation is answered by a broken man's own prayer to save someone.
And so, the cursed machine disguised as a human, the future Counter Guardian, Emiya Shirou, is born from the flames of the Fourth Holy Grail War.
Then, under the glow of Avalon being inserted into the boy, the world fades and is replaced by something else.
A world of infinite swords.
And yet, unlike the few variations of it that I saw from my counterpart, this one is neither a lush world with an infinite field of grass nor a barren world with golden skies. No, it is something else.
It is-
-Error-
Active Skill: U *)(^%#$ B*/-# #R$% Is unavailable.
Anomaly detected within the user's mind.
-Warning: System under attack-
A bright white light filled my vision, and a figure that I had grown used to seeing in my dreams materialized along with the anomaly in my life.
Its entire form is covered in royal blue robes and glowing white armor. Its face, if it even has a face, is covered with an elaborate helm. And most importantly of all, a massive crown made of light floating above its head.
It raises its hand and points towards me as odd noises ring out in my mind. I have yet to know if those noises are words that the creature is trying to say, or something else entirely.
What I do know, is that just like always, my inner world reacts to the presence of the anomaly just like it would to anything else that intrudes into my soul.
Countless swords rise into the sky and attack the creature which snaps its fingers.
"Shirou! Wake up"
As my dream faded, I opened my eyes to my life and got up from the bed.
"I am up, Sella"
"Hurry and come down, you will be late for school"
Another mundane and peaceful day, here I come.
A life that any of my counterparts would never have nor understand how to appreciate.
Walking into the bathroom, I begin my morning ritual.
With practiced ease, I let my golden eyes fall on the pack of razors in the cupboard.
"Trace On"
With the image of the imaginary valve controlling the flow of magical energy in my imaginary pipe system that represented my magic circuits, I activated my magecraft.
I felt the 40 Magic Circuits within my soul light up a little bit thanks to the precise control I developed after years of study and send magical energy directly into my eyes.
Structural Analysis, one of the most basic forms of magecraft that my counterparts have mastered alongside our own brand of projection which I learned thanks to my dreams.
With a pulse of magical energy, I immediately knew the complete manufacturing process and history of the razors. With a quiet use of Projection, a copy of the razors appeared in the palm of my hand. A complete success as usual.
Now, for the real test.
Dismissing the projection, I prepared my magecraft again. This time, I concentrated on the towel on the hanger and used structural analysis, completely understanding its history just like with the razors. Now comes the hard part.
I cranked open the imaginary valve more and more as my projection slowly started to form the vague form of the towel.
Nearly one minute after the process began, I finally had the copy in hand. But even without using structural analysis, I could immediately tell that it was not the same as the towel on the hanger.
Another failure, but a significant improvement compared to what I usually get when I try to Trace anything that is not considered a weapon conceptually.
"Shirou! How long are you going to take? You are running out of time."
"Yeah! I am coming!"
I absentmindedly reached for the few strands of white hair with the scissors and cut them off while using a little bit of makeup to hide the uneven tanning of skin on my face that looked suspiciously like burn marks.
A result of recklessness born from a single moment of vulnerability that I felt after a particularly bad memory from a version of myself appeared in my dreams more than a year ago.
Thankfully, I managed to make an excuse about burning myself during my part-time job. However, I had to make sure to use makeup every day since I did not have an explanation for why the marks were expanding instead of healing like any ordinary 'burn marks' would.
Which, unfortunately, led to the women in the household looking at me strangely and probably thinking that I was more girly than my physique would suggest.
I am grateful, however, that they did not share their opinions with Illya. I don't know how I would be able to handle my sweet little sister calling me girly in public thanks to how innocent she is compared to her counterparts.
With the preparations done, I reached under my pillow and felt the cold touch of the card that started it all. The mystic code that looked like a playing card, yet is capable of giving the user a portion of the Heroic Spirit it is connected to.
-Class Card: Archer-
-Unique-
And then there is this thing.
Sometimes, I can't help but feel like this system or whatever it is, is both a blessing and a curse.
On one hand, the ability to continuously improve my body and magecraft in every way possible is a dream come true for any magus. But, on the other hand, the unpredictable nature of this thing and the mysterious origins of it are a huge detriment to me.
For all I know, this could be a trap prepared by Alaya to turn me into her slave like the many versions of Shirou Emiya that she enslaved and turned into Counter Guardian EMIYA or something that the unknown entity in my dreams created to manipulate me for its own ends.
Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of taking it easy and ignoring the existence of the system. Because if the class cards that house the power of Heroic Spirits exist this close to my home, then who knows what else is out there that can threaten my peaceful life with my family?
At those thoughts, I couldn't help but look at my reflection in the full-size mirror with a wry smile.
I guess I really am like my alternate selves, selfishly playing the hero even when others don't want me to.
Shaking my head to get rid of the depressing thoughts, I dressed up in my school clothes and walked down from my room.
Immediately, I sensed the presence of not just Sella, and Leysritt, who were present at the table but also two more people.
With an amused smile that hid my genuine happiness, I walked into the room where I spotted my mother and father.
For a split second, the smiling man reading the news was replaced by the same man but wearing a traditional yukata and having an empty smile in place of the one filled with warmth.
And in the place of the woman that I called my mother, All I saw was the empty gaze of a corpse bleeding on the floor as a chalice overflowing with blood floated in the sky with a black sun right above it.
"Shirou, you are finally down. Are you feeling good?"
"Iri, calm down. Give him the time to speak."
Their words brought me out of my nightmares as I looked towards the couple.
They may not have been related by blood, but I consider them my parents all the same.
The hyperactive woman that I called my mother nearly ran towards me, it was only thanks to Kiritsugu who held her back that she did not get up from her seat.
Although, I can't really blame her for her actions. She may not be human biologically, but she is human in every way that counts, including emotionally.
Although, I sometimes wish she would tone down her activities a little bit if only to spare me the embarrassment when she shows up at school.
"I am fine, Mom. I just overslept a little since Sella was insisting yesterday to get some rest."
"Of course I did. If I didn't drag you out of that shed, you would have spent the rest of the night working on that stupid motorcycle of yours."
"Hey! That motorcycle is something that I got with my own money and I am very proud of how far I have come with its repairs."
I felt bad lying to Sella, Leystritt, Mom, and Dad like this. But there is no way I can tell them the truth about why I spend so much time in the shed. No way to tell them that I am practicing magecraft which can very easily kill me should I indulge too much in it without understanding my core.
Kiritsugu smiled at me wryly as Sella continued to glare at me sternly. But I am still able to see the concern hidden within that smile. A concern that is justified.
With a subtle shake of my head, I persuaded him to let go of the topic to which he just nodded, trusting my judgment.
My enhanced hearing picked up the noise of hurried footsteps from upstairs followed by a tiny figure bursting into the room.
While it has become easier for me after two long years of being in her presence constantly after a particular memory surfaced, I still fail to suppress the flinch that I get every time I look at Illya and her figure is replaced by the dead body of her counterpart, her heart ripped out of her chest and her eyes gouged out with a sword stroke.
Thankfully, that golden bastard doesn't exist in this world. I know because I already checked the moment I saw that particular set of memories in my dreams.
"Onii-chan! We are nearly late!"
I couldn't help but laugh at her panicked expression and casually sit down at the table, ignoring her cute pouting look.
"Guess I am not the late one today eh? Illya."
"Not fair!"
I quickly ate breakfast alongside my sister who devoured her food like a girl possessed and nearly ran out of the house while dragging me behind her.
With her hurry, I only managed to exchange a few words with our parents.
"Will you guys be home when we get back?"
"Unfortunately, No. We need to go overseas again for another job, so just like always, Sella and Leystritt will help you look after the house."
"Of course I will, mada-,I mean, Irisviel."
Whoa there, Sella. You nearly let your persona slip.
Honestly, are all Einzbern this bad at lying? I mean, it is already bad enough that your cover story of being 'cousins' of Mom is paper thin with how you treat her like she is your god or something, which makes sense considering that they might have been made specifically to serve Mom. But even then, I don't think there is enough hypnosis in the world to make someone overlook the glaring inconsistency with which you interact with my parents and us.
"..We should not take more than a month this time. In the meantime, I left a little gift for you in the shed, Shirou. It should help you fix up that bike of yours faster."
Translation: He left me some ordinance and emergency weapons that I can use in case something goes wrong and the family is in danger. The same message that he always leaves me when he and Mom have to go overseas.
Dad may have never told me about magecraft in this life, but he never tried to hide the fact that he was a mercenary before. I still remember the time when he showed his weapons collection to my 14-year-old self and taught me how to handle a gun. Just in case the situation ever came where I had to protect the family while he was absent.
Of course, he made sure to never mention this fact in front of the women of the family for safety reasons.
Specifically, for the safety of his life since Sella would have skinned him alive for showing off his weapons to a kid like me while Mom would have approved of her servant/surrogate sister's actions against her husband for his major fuck-up.
I only managed to nod toward Dad before Illya hurriedly dragged me away from the house while my thoughts went back towards what I was contemplating before.
I may be like my counterparts more than I care to admit. But the one difference between me and the majority of the Emiya Shirou that exist across the Kaleidoscope is that I would do anything for my family.
If it means the safety of my loved ones and the preservation of the peaceful lives of my family, then I will become the devil himself.