CHAPTER 4

Luke awoke shortly after midnight, his quiet whimpering alerting Arizona that something was amiss. She bolted out of bed and grabbed her crutches, quickly swinging down the hall to his bedroom, finding him awake, but disoriented. She turned on the soft bedside lamp and sat on the bed next to him.

"Hi little bear," she said gently, reaching out slowly to push blonde hair out of his eyes. "Did you have a bad dream?" She herself was all too familiar with the nightmares that could plague a person.

Luke looked at her, his eyes wide and tearful. He nodded as his eyes darted around the room quickly, Arizona followed his glance, searching the shadows for any hint of what was frightening him. She brushed back his blond curls again and put her hand on his. "It's ok Luke. I'm right here."

The little boy sniffled and rubbed his eyes with his residual limb. "I'm scared Zoney." His voice was soft and sad, the voice of a child who was usually berated for exhibiting any emotion whatsoever.

Arizona nodded. She had no explanation for why, but her heart melted just a bit every time that tiny voice spoke to her. "Did you want to tell me about it?" She was pretty sure she knew what answer was coming

As predicted Luke shook his head. "Can you stay here?"

Slightly surprised, she nodded. "Of course I can." Arizona slid under the covers with him and turned onto her side so she could see him. "I'm not going anywhere, okay?" She reached down and made sure his leg was propped up and then pulled the covers up to his chin so that only their two blonde heads peeked out over the comforter.

"Okay." Even though he laid completely still, his eyes still darted around the room looking for hidden evil. It took several minutes before his eyelids grew heavy and they started to droop. Arizona watched as his breathing slowed and evened out, as he finally drifted back off. With a small sigh, she closed her eyes, her hand still covering his, and it wasn't long before she too was asleep.

On the other side of the country, Callie lay in bed, wide awake, unable to sleep. Penny was at work, as she seemed to be more often than not lately; it had been weeks since they`d had an evening together. The conversation she had earlier in the evening with her ex-wife was still fresh in her head, and it was bothering her. She knew it wasn't any of her business...the divorce saw to that. But for some reason she was fixated on something the blonde had said. The fact that Arizona wasn't dating, and really had no prospects piqued her curiosity.

On auto-pilot and with no reasonable explanation for her actions, she pulled out her laptop and booted it up, then navigated to a popular dating website and started to search. She found Arizona quite quickly, knowing the blonde was honest and upfront about her leg meant she was most likely truthful about everything else including her age, location, and occupation. She scrolled through Arizona`s profile, and couldn`t help but wonder why, despite the mention of the amputation, no one would want to date her. The pictures she had up were stunning; Callie felt a long-forgotten feeling of butterflies when she clicked on one of the full body pictures. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She should not be looking at those pictures and feeling that way. She shut the laptop and threw herself back onto the pillows and closed her eyes. Despite every attempt not to, she couldn't help but think about Arizona.

At the time, the divorce seemed like it was the right thing to do. They weren't happy- or at least Callie wasn't. Nothing they tried seemed to have worked. It just felt like it was the road they were going down and there was no stopping it. And Callie had to agree; at first, it felt liberating. Her and Penny were happy and there was no past, no issues. But then Penny was offered the grant and it seemed that from then on, things didn't quite feel the same.

The custody battle had been tough, and Callie hated fighting Arizona over their daughter. She had been devastated when she lost. She had sobbed to Meredith and later to Penny, who comforted her as much as she could. She had been torn between going with Penny and starting fresh, but leaving her daughter, and staying back and either trying to have a long-distance relationship or breaking it off entirely. It had been a difficult decision, but she had decided to stay; she couldn't go without Sofia, even if it was only for a year. Had Arizona not allowed her to take Sofia, she didn't know where things would be with Penny right now. And that was part of the whole problem. Arizona's actions made no sense. She'd won fair and square and had the right to keep Sofia in Seattle but for some reason she'd given her up. It was only recently, when she stepped back to look at the big picture, the selflessness of the blonde's actions came to light. Every decision from their split to their reunion to their divorce had been Callie's choice, acting on what was best for her at the time. She never took into account Arizona's feelings when making these calls. But even three years divorced, Arizona seemed to still be looking after her.

Callie sighed. The blonde continued to perplex her. And then...there was Penny. Penny, she was sweet and understanding, but still young in her career and focused on it. She understood the didn't blame her for feeling that way. But Callie had given up a department head position for her, and the chances of her getting it back upon her return were slim. To be honest she felt a little slighted. It didn't help that feelings had started creeping back in regard to her ex-wife either, and she found herself thinking about the blonde again.

She closed her eyes and thought back to the last time she had seen Arizona in person. It was at the airport; Penny had gone ahead and was waiting with their carryon bags, leaving Callie to witness the tearful goodbye between mother and daughter. Arizona had tried desperately not to cry, and did a good job of hiding it, despite Sofia's tears and sobs. Callie had caught the blonde's eye as she stood up and straightened her jacket, before letting go of Sofia's hand and turning and walking away. She had seen the tears in Arizona's eyes and it had nearly made her not get on the plane. Instead, she had taken her daughter's hand and left without looking back.

Now she couldn't get Arizona out of her head. She huffed and sat back up and turned on the lamp, and reached for her phone. She pulled up her ex's contact info and her finger hovered over the call button before she closed it and opened the photo app instead. Swiping through pictures, she stopped when she got to one of her and Arizona. She squeezed her eyes shut and laid back, sighing miserably. She wasn't happy. Arizona wasn't happy. And their daughter certainly wasn't happy. The only one who was happy was Penny, and Callie saw so little of her that even that would be hard to prove. She curled up, pulling the blankets over her, her mind filled with images of the blonde, and soon she fell asleep.

As the weeks progressed, Arizona and Luke fell into a routine, the young boy becoming more comfortable and less shy. The surgeon had taken some time off while he adjusted, but was now back at work, and had found a well-known and highly recommended part time nanny for Luke, as she wasn't comfortable with bringing him to the hospital daycare quite yet, at least until his leg was healed. It was difficult leaving him though; having just recently gained his trust, and after everything he had been through. The first couple of days began with tears, not just from Luke, but now he was better about her leaving.

After a particularly grueling day Arizona came home from work, yawing and stretching as she walked in the door. She winced as her shoulder cracked and dropped her arms back by her side. The nanny was on the couch, book in hand as Luke was most likely napping. She yawned again as she approached her, sitting down in the armchair.

"Hey Angie. Good day?" She dropped her bag on the coffee table and plopped down on the couch with a relieved sigh.

Angie put her book down and smiled warmly. "We had our ups and downs. But I think he had a pretty decent day."

Arizona smiled. She expected Luke to have some trouble adjusting and knew that it would just take time. "Did he go down for his nap ok?"

"He fell asleep on the couch mid-way through his snack. I carried him in. So he's still asleep right now."

The blonde laughed. "Sounds about right." She leaned forward and reached for her purse, digging through it for her pocketbook and handed the nanny her weekly cheque. "I'm off tomorrow and April's gonna watch him Sunday. Alex is here on Monday. So I'll see you Tuesday?" Angie's flexibility and her skill at dealing with Luke were two of the many things Arizona loved about the gray-haired woman who reminded her a little of her own mom.

Angie smiled, "Sounds good. I'll see you then." She picked up her book and purse and left.

Arizona shrugged off her sweater and shoes and took a few minutes to sit on the couch and gather her thoughts before pushing herself to her feet. She quietly padded down the hall and went into Luke's newly decorated room. Gone were the pastels and creams of the guest room, replaced by bright blues and greens, airplanes, cars and Luke's favorites, Ninja Turtles. She melted when she saw the little boy curled up with his teddy bear, his red cast propped up on pillows. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through his blond curls.

The boy yawned and stretched before cracking open an eye and giving her a sleepy smile, "Hi Zoney."

She smiled in return, "Hi Luke. Having a good nap?"

He nodded and yawned again, clearly not quite ready to wake up, though she knew this would only last minutes. Arizona chuckled softly and laid down next to him, her head sharing his pillow as she faced him. Luke snuggled close to her, their noses almost touching. "I missed you."

The blonde beamed and kissed his head. Every first made her happy. The first time he genuinely smiled at her, the first time he laughed, and now this. "I missed you too. Lots and lots." She chuckled again as he started to squirm under the covers, sleep apparently no longer his plan. "What did you do with Angie today?"

"We colored. And played Lego." He pushed himself up so he was now sitting.

"Oh yeah? That sounds super fun." Arizona remained lying down, looking up at her foster son.

"It was. Oh! I wanna show you something!" He swiftly scrambled off the bed, the bulky cast he had on immediately after surgery was now replaced by a lighter walking cast and it certainly wasn't holding him back. He reached up on his dresser for a pad of drawing paper and passed it to Arizona, his name printed in messy but legible letters. "Angie helped me write my name."

Arizona grinned widely, reaching out to trace the capital L. "Hey! That's you!"

He beamed, his chest puffed out, "it says Luke!"

She hugged him, moving slowly, as he was still reserved when it came to anyone moving too quickly around him. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Really?"

Arizona nodded and gently scooped him up, putting him back into bed with her before pulling him close.

Luke giggled, "but nap time is over Zoney!"

Arizona gasped playfully and opened her eyes wide in mock shock. "Oh no! But I need a nap now!" she said, yawning as she did.

"Oh!" Mimicking her behavior when he was curled up in bed, Luke pulled the blankets up and over her and snuggled against her. "Okay."

"Thank you for tucking me in."

"You gotta be comfy so you can sleep."

She kissed his cheek, always amazed with how intelligent and kind he was. "Night!" she said and shut her eyes.

Luke's giggles filled the room. "It's not nighttime silly!"

The blonde grinned widely with her eyes still shut. She could hear Luke moving around and felt a small body climb on top of hers, a warm cheek pressed against hers. It wasn't long before the pair of them fell asleep. When she awoke a bit later, she found him sitting up next to her, awake, and looking at her.

"Oh, hello," she said sleepily.

She was met with a toothy grin. "Hello."

"What'cha doing?"

"Reading," he stated, gesturing to the pile of books that now adorned the bed.

Arizona laughed, "is your bed the bookshelf now?"

He shook his head, "Noooooooooo! I'll put them back!"

She could sense that he was teetering on the edge, wondering if her comment was a reprimand and she quickly redirected him. "We can put them back later. We should make dinner." She glanced at the clock, realizing it was almost six. She got up and held her hand out for Luke.

He took her hand, "what are we gonna have?"

"Hmm, I don't know. What should we make?"

"Umm ,chicken nuggets?"

Arizona chuckled, "I think you may turn into a chicken nugget," she said teasingly as she reached up and plucked the nuggets out of the freezer and preheated the oven.

Luke giggled, "Can I help get the veggies ready?"

"Sure. What should we have?" she asked, already knowing his answer.

"Cucumber. And carrots. And peppers. Oh! With ranch dressing," he exclaimed, actually surprising Arizona. It was usually just the same veggies, never a dip.

"How about some tomatoes too? We could even make a salad."

Luke shook his head. "Lettuce makes me cough when I eat it. It's yucky. I like tomatoes."

"Alright, no lettuce then." She washed the vegetables and placed them on the counter and watched as Luke dried them.

"Can I help cut them?" His enthusiasm was infectious.

"Sure," she said as she lifted him onto a stool. She firmly held the cucumber in place for him and handed him the knife.

Holding the knife somewhat awkwardly, Luke began to cut, his tongue sticking out in concentration. He carefully sliced each piece, making sure each was the same size as the previous, and when he finished, he put the knife down and looked up at Arizona, who was watching him out of the corner of her eye, just enamored by him.

"Good job Luke. How about the pepper now?" She held it for him and watched again as he chopped. Once completed, she tossed all the veggies together with him and puts them into bowls, and let him carry them to the table one at a time while she put out plates. "Ready to eat?"

Luke nodded and climbed into his chair. He started to eat, nibbling at the cucumbers then moving to the chicken nuggets. His appetite had been poor when she first brought him home, but was getting better every day. He was growing comfortable with trying new foods; most of his diet had been processed and fast foods, and it was a challenge to find things that he liked that were acceptable to Arizona for a young boy to eat. But luckily he definitely liked his veggies...except for lettuce of course.

"I'm going to call Sofia tonight. Do you want to say hi to her again?"

Luke nodded enthusiastically, "yes please!"

Arizona chuckled. She loved that despite never meeting, the two of them seemed to hit if off well, and Luke always talked about Sofia. "Okay. Make sure you tell her and show her that you wrote your name."

Luke nodded, "I will.

Three chicken nuggets and a few veggies later, Luke declared his was full and Arizona quickly cleaned up before logging into Skype. After a single ring Callie's face appeared on the screen.

"Hey. Let me grab Sofia," she said, disappeared for a moment before returning with the dark-haired girl in tow.

Sofia quickly scrambled onto the stool so she could get close to the computer and peered into the camera. "Hi Mommy! Where's Luke?"

Luke popped up from just below the camera level and grinned, "hi Sof Sof!"

Arizona laughed as Sofia did too. "He wanted to surprise you."

Sofia giggled loudly, "hi Luke!"

Luke continued to beam, excited to talk to his new friend. "Sof Sof, guess what? I wrote my name today, see?" He held up the pad of paper with his name on it. "It say Luke!"

Her enthusiasm honest and true, she exclaimed, "that's awesome Luke! Way to go!"

Luke's grin now spread from ear to ear as he asked, "How do you spell your name?"

"I'll show you. She picked up a piece of paper and wrote her name before holding it up for him.

Luke giggled, "I wanna try." He picked up a crayon, studied what she wrote and began to write, his tongue poking out of his mouth as he did. He finished and held it up for her.

A huge grin came over Sofia's face. "That's right Luke, good job! You're so smart!"

Luke blushed and gave her a shy smile. "How many days until you come and visit?"

"Umm, still a lot. Mama? How many days?" She turned to look at the woman sitting behind her.

Callie replied, "Three weeks. That's twenty one days."

Sofia sighed, "twenty one more days."

"Oh, that's a lot," he said, mimicking her sigh. "Well, can we read bedtime stories like we did before?" Since their first Skype chat together, Arizona had begun a routine of talking for a little bit and then reading a bedtime story together. Both Sofia and Luke looked forward to it.

"Sure little bear. Why don't you go out on your pjs while I check Sofia's homework then we can read together?"

Luke nodded enthusiastically, "ok!" he exclaimed as he rushed off as fast as he could with the cumbersome cast.

Sofia giggled as she watched him go. "He's silly Mommy. I wish I was there already."

"I know. I wish you were here too." Arizona felt that familiar grab on her heart. "He really likes you," She said before picking up the copy of the homework Callie had scanned and sent over. Let's look at this."

"It was easy."

"No, you're just super smart.," she smiled at her. She quickly scanned the sheet, placing check marks by the correct answers before stopping. "Check your numbers on number fourteen sweetie."

Sofia squinted at her paper and huffed, frustrated with herself. She hated making mistakes, and quickly erased the incorrect answer, before printing the right one and holding the paper up to the camera for her mom to see.

Arizona beamed. "That's it. Good job! Everything else is perfect little miss." She drew a smiley face on the paper and held it up for her to see.

Despite the praise, Sofia, as usual, was her own toughest critic. "I still made one mistake though."

Arizona shrugged, "everyone makes mistakes. We caught it and fixed it. You did great."

"Thank you Mommy," Sofia said.

"Let's go check on Luke, okay?" She stood up and went into Luke's bedroom, and sat with him on his bed so he could see Sofia. Sofia picked up a book and began to read to them all. Luke's eyes began to close, then fluttered, and then halfway through the story he was fast asleep.

Sofia finished the story and closed the book and peeked back up at the computer screen. "Aww, look at Luke! He's asleep."

Arizona nodded. "Your reading has gotten so good Sofia." She stood up and walked back out into the living room as not to disturb the sleeping boy.

"Mama has been reading with me every night."

"And we're going to have to read every day while you're here."

"Luke will love that!"

Arizona smiled, "He certainly will."

Callie came back into the living room and her voice was heard over the camera, "ok kiddo. Time for bed. Say bye to mommy okay? We'll talk to her tomorrow."

Sofia pouted but stood up. "Aww okay. Bye Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too Sofia." She watched as Sofia scampered off and the brunette came into the frame. "Good night Callie. I'll talk to you soon." Arizona scrolled to the disconnect button and was about to hit it when Callie stopped her.

"Arizona, wait," Callie said.

Arizona looked back up at the screen, "yeah?"

"How are you doing?"

"Fine," the blonde replied, "you?"

"I'm good. Looking forward to Christmas."

Arizona only nodded. She was looking forward to seeing Sofia but the thought of seeing Callie in person again made her heart ache.

"How would you feel about Sof and I staying an extra week?"

That caught Arizona off guard, "Um, I don't have a guest room for you, but sure." Her guest room was now Luke's bedroom.

"It's ok." Callie quickly countered. "The couch is fine. Or I can stay at a hotel."

"Ok, sure. Sounds good." Arizona certainly wasn't going to turn down extra time with her daughter no matter how awkward things were with her other mom.

"Great," she said with a smile. She knew she should just finish the call but something tugged at her. "Um, so, have you gone out on any dates lately?"

Arizona was quiet for a moment. "Still no."

The words started to pour out of Callie before she could control herself. "I looked at your dating profile. I don't understand. Not everyone can be that shallow Arizona. You'll find someone." She hoped her words would come across as reassuring to her ex-wife. Unfortunately she was wrong.

The blonde looked stunned. "Why are you looking at my profile?" she demanded, a little more defensively than she expected.

Callie blushed a little and looked down. "I, uh, was just curious that's all."

Arizona sucked on her teeth, she didn't understand. They'd just had a great conversation with the kids. An awesome conversation even. Why did she have to go and ruin it now. It was like a compulsion for her. "Don't worry Callie. I'm still alone not suffocating anyone else." The blonde couldn't help but throw the painful words from the divorce back in Callie's face.

"That's not what I meant." A deep frown crossed Callie's lips.

"Then what could you have possibly meant?"

"I was just genuinely curious. You said you hasn't been dating and I couldn't believe it."

"Well believe it. Why do you even care anyways?"

"Because i just do." She exhaled. She knew Arizona was angry now and she was mad at herself for ruining the conversation. But she'd already dug herself this deep. What else did she have to lose. "Look, a lot has changed since I got here. I've begun to realize…" the brunette trailed off she took a deep breath and her brain finally caught up with her mouth. "You know what? Maybe now isn't the time. Maybe at Christmas?"

Arizona pinched the bridge of her nose, annoyed. "I'm going to go now Callie. Good night."

Callie sighed, "good night Arizona." She stared at the blank screen once Arizona logged off until she heard a noise behind her.

"What was that about?" Penny asked. She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, having just witnessed her girlfriend admit to stalking her ex-wife's dating profile.

Callie gulped. Uh-oh.

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