Callie decided that she liked Seattle.

She was scared to admit it to herself, scared to jinx it, but almost every aspect of her life in the Pacific Northwest was going…very well, actually. She was making friends far quicker than she anticipated, already outnumbering the acquaintances she had back in Florida. She liked Cristina and Meredith and especially a quick witted woman named Addison.

Her career was thriving, the bigger and more prestigious hospital granting her new opportunities she had only dreamed of and read about in journals before—she got to be innovative, got to be bold and try new surgical techniques, got to collaborate with some of the best surgeons in the country. She was growing so much as a doctor, learning so much and challenging herself constantly to be better.

Best of all, she didn't have to worry about seeing her ex husband's face in the corridors of the hospital. Or his mistress's. Or overhear the mean whispers about her. Back home, it had been starting to feel like all Callie ever faced was an endless stream of rejection, each more brutal than the last, each cutting her down to a shorter height until all she had left to feel was small. And Callie Torres was not small. She took up space unapologetically, she laughed loudly, she captured the attention of every room she walked into. Her capacity for love was endless, and her heart could squeeze in even the most undeserving of suitors.

George O'Malley had nearly wrecked her. Erica Hahn had just been humiliating.

But in Seattle, no one but Mark knew her past failures and Callie got to be brand new. In Seattle, she got to be confident and fun and sexy. In Seattle, she started dancing in her underwear again.

And in Seattle, it rained. A lot. And she still hadn't gotten around to buying that umbrella Arizona had teased her about the night they met.

She stood safe and dry under the awning of the hospital and squinted her brown eyes through the pouring rain, trying to calculate the best game plan for running to her car. She mapped out a trail through the maze of puddles and streams. She wasn't entirely sure it mattered, as she'd be drenched after only a few seconds in the downpour, but she was planning to go out with Addison later and she really didn't want to look like a drowned rat.

She was just about to step off the curb to bolt for it when a familiar voice stopped her, calling out to be heard over the dull roar of rain slapping against pavement. "Are you crazy?"

She turned to find Arizona staring at her, a curious and slightly amused expression on her face. She had a navy blue umbrella over her head, shielding her from the rain, and she was the most beautiful person on Earth, Callie decided. Her blonde hair was whipping about wildly in the wind, cheeks flushed pink from the cold, and she had that same twinkle in her eye that she had when they had met in the rain and she had asked her that exact question. They were so blue against the dreary gray backdrop of the parking lot.

"You should know I'm not scared of a little rain."

"I remember." Arizona's dimples appeared but were gone just as quick, and she tilted her head to the left a bit. She was watching Callie with those unnervingly lovely eyes, a hint of amusement coloring her features. As if she knew exactly what kind of effect she had on people. "No umbrella?"

"You take a little too much pleasure from my misery."

Arizona giggled. Callie ignored the dip she felt in her chest. Appearing to take a bit of pity on her, "I can walk you to your car, if you want." The blonde stepped a little closer.

Callie raised a skeptical brow. "Nuh-uh. I'm not falling for your charms."

"You think I'm charming?"

Callie rolled her eyes at the smug grin on Arizona's lips. She would never be able to figure this woman out, all of her hot and cold. They had barely spoken in the week since Arizona had slammed that car door shut, and yet here they were again. Flirting. It just came so easy, felt so natural, that they always cycled right back to it. "I didn't say that."

"A little bit, you did." She stepped closer until Callie could smell her, vanilla and bergamot invading her senses in a way that made it feel like her brain was short circuiting. Arizona lifted the umbrella in her hands the smallest bit. "I'm heading out. Last call. You sure you want to get wet?"

"Getting wet around you seems to be a recurring theme." Callie's face twisted up a bit. "That came out a lot dirtier than it was meant to."

The laugh that fell out of Arizona was so genuine that it fractured Callie's resolve. She wasn't dense—she knew there was something the blonde wasn't saying, some comment Mark had undoubtedly made that had pissed her off. And a huge part of her, a much larger chunk than she'd ever admit, felt guilty about it. The words she had been passive aggressively spitting at her over the past few weeks finally made a shred of sense. Vapid, annoying, slutty, because that's exactly what Callie had called her. She hadn't even meant it. She was just so blinded by hurt at the time, overcome by a need to make herself feel better following the harsh rejection.

That rejection was the only thing softening the sting of her guilt. Arizona didn't deserve an apology from her. Arizona had bailed. Arizona was an inherently untrustworthy and selfish person.

And Arizona was staring at her with the sweetest eyes she had ever seen, offering up her umbrella, and Callie was folding. She sighed. "Fine. You may escort me. No use ruining a good hair day."

The blonde snorted out a laugh, pressing in close to Callie so they could fit under the umbrella. "You act like you're doing me the favor."

"I am. My presence is a pretty big favor."

"I thought I was supposed to be the arrogant one here?"

They fell into synchronized steps, ears filled with the sound of pouring rain cascading onto the umbrella overhead. Callie tried like hell to ignore the smell of Arizona's shampoo and how electric it felt to be so close to her.

It was so easy to hate her. And then she would do something like this, kind and unexpected, and it was suddenly so hard to hate her.

Arizona sucked at listening, at seeing anything other than what she wanted to see. She was so stubborn that it was actually almost intolerable being in the same room as her sometimes. But Callie kind of hated that she had actually hurt her feelings.

Callie wasn't sure if she'd even be able to get in enough words to properly apologize to her considering they couldn't seem to have a single conversation without screaming at each other, but she wasn't the kind of person that could hurt someone and just live with it. It would eat at her, that irrevocable need to correct things, to clear her conscience. It was already eating at her, as much as she wanted to pretend it wasn't.

They were colleagues, and they would have to work with each other for the foreseeable future, and Callie couldn't stop wondering if maybe communicating like an adult could save them from some of this melodrama. So she decided, then and there, that she would suck it up and try to talk to her.

Her steps slowed the closer they got to her car, and Arizona twisted her head to look at her curiously. "Come on slowpoke. I offered to walk you, not mosey."

They came to a stop in front of her car door and Callie turned to face her head on. They were so close, faces inches apart. She watched Arizona's playful smile fall at the expression she found waiting for her. "Arizona, I think we should talk about—"

"I don't want to talk," Arizona cut her off, final and decisive, and Callie had to temper the frustration she felt. God, she was so irritating. Impossible to talk to.

"Then stand here and listen."

"No," she shook her head, blonde hair falling over her shoulder. "I don't want to do that either." She pulled Callie's door open for her, gesturing for her to get in.

Callie sighed and listened, sliding into her driver's seat. Arizona stood close to her in the door frame, looking down at her with those fucking eyes. Before she could argue, Arizona was talking again. "You make me act insane. It's like I can't have a single rational thought when you're in the room. So I just… I don't want to talk because we'll fight and I'll act insane and it's pointless. Okay?"

Callie blinked at her. "No. Not okay, actually. I have things I want to say and—"

"For the last time. No," Arizona stepped back, small hand falling to the frame of the car door. "And Callie?"

"What?"

"Buy an umbrella for God's sake."

She shut the car door, and Callie watched through raindrops dribbling down the window as she treaded to her car.

Callie tried to talk a second time about three days later. Arizona could be stubborn, but Callie could be just as hard headed when she wanted to. She could be persistent.

If Arizona had been avoidant before, she had gone full witness protection mode now. Which was aggravating, to put it nicely, and made Callie's desire to apologize wane a bit.

She was sending her residents to every pediatric ortho case. She wasn't eating lunch in the cafeteria anymore—Callie wasn't sure where she was, probably holed up in an on-call room somewhere with a random nurse, and the thought of that made an ugly feeling twist in her gut that almost made her abandon her whole talking plan entirely.

It took a Friday night out at Joe's for Callie to see her again, pulse quickening when she caught sight of blonde curls and a bare, toned back decorated with a few sparse freckles.

She knew those freckles. One on the back of her right shoulder. One on her spine, hovering just over her seventh thoracic vertebrae. And one on the medial border of her left scapula. Callie could have connected the dots into a lopsided heart if she wanted to. If that was the kind of thing she thought about when she looked at Arizona.

It definitely wasn't though. Definitely not.

Callie inhaled as she gathered the nerve to approach her, deciding it was best to just do it, to not think too hard about it. She was crossing the room and tapping a smooth, fair shoulder, just over that freckle, before she could talk herself out of it.

Arizona twisted to look at her, the smile on her pretty face falling at the sight of her. "Calliope," she acknowledged, perfect teeth sinking into the straw of her drink as she went for a sip. Blue eyes blinked at her expectantly.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

Arizona pulled a slightly awkward expression, and her shoulders looked a bit tense. Callie found herself wanting to sink her fingers into the muscles there, press on them until she finally relaxed for once in her damn life. "Um, now is really not a great time—"

"Actually, you know what, I know you have. But whatever." Callie waved her hand dismissively. "I need to talk to you. I think—I think we may have gotten lost in translation somewhere. And I'd like to try and fix it."

Arizona shifted her weight to her other foot. It looked like she was about to interrupt, so Callie just kept talking, needing her to listen. "You get under my skin. A fucking lot. I know I get under yours too. You are such a frustrating person and we suck at communicating. But I also kind of… I don't know, I find myself wanting to be around you still. And I'd like to apolo—"

"Callie, this is Nadia. My date."

It was only then that Callie noticed her, a pretty blonde perched behind Arizona with an amused smile that she was attempting to hide with her drink. Callie almost didn't recognize her outside of her scrubs, but it was the same nurse she had seen Arizona leaving an on-call room with once. A confusing feeling snaked its way into Callie, settling deep in the pit of her stomach, and brown eyes met blue. Her expression cooled. They stared at each other in silence for a few beats, then Callie pressed her lips together. "Got it. You two have a good night."

She turned, deciding to leave her alone for good.

At least she tried.

Arizona hated lying.

She hated the feeling that rose in her throat when she did it, the tightness there that felt a lot like choking. She hated the way her cheeks ran hot, a warm feeling of guilt settling into her that took her back to third grade, caught in a lie after she had stolen and then subsequently lost Tim's favorite baseball cap. It was his good luck charm, a tattered blue Marine Corps hat that had belonged to their father.

She could still see the look on her dad's face as he yelled at her, disappointment dripping off every word, face red and eyes sharp. She had disgraced the Robbins good name and the shame had been nauseating. Good men in a storm did not steal and they did not lie.

It was an important lesson, one that had instilled in her an inherent need to be honorable and good and undeniably true. She never wanted to feel that way again.

Yet here she was at 33, lying to her parents again.

It had started innocently enough—just one little white lie to get her mom off her back about settling down and having babies. She was their only shot at grandchildren now that Tim was gone, and they sure didn't let her forget it. We're just worried about you, baby, Barbara would say over the phone. You have so much going for you. Any girl would be lucky to have you. We just don't understand how you haven't found anyone yet.

How was she supposed to explain to her parents that their only living child was a control freak with commitment issues and an innate fear of emotional intimacy?

She couldn't, so she lied. She had told her parents she was seeing someone new, that she was so happy, desperate for the nagging to stop. And it worked.

But then four months passed and that one little lie was starting to spiral out of control.

Arizona leaned her elbows against the counter of the nursing station, flipping through her charts absently. She had her phone pressed to her ear, kept in place with her shoulder as she tried to rush the conversation along.

"Uh huh. I'm super happy. She's really great, so beautiful. You'd love her, mom. Mhm. Yeah, I'd love for you to meet her soon. Work's just so busy. I'll try to get out there to see you guys soon, promise. Yeah, maybe I can bring her. I'll have to see."

She never offered any real details, not even a name, despite her mom's prodding. She was not that skilled of a liar. She kept things vague, always she's the best and I'm so happy and you definitely do not have to worry about me dying alone.

Arizona was so distracted that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her. She didn't notice that her one-sided conversation was being overheard, and she definitely didn't notice the very pissed off Callie Torres that stormed in the opposite direction when she decided she had heard enough.

Another week passed. Arizona was kind of losing it.

She did not date people. It just wasn't who she was. She had no interest in it, in letting someone know her so intimately. On a fundamental level, she didn't like the idea of anyone expecting anything from her, and that included her time and insight into her most private thoughts and emotions. Those belonged solely to her. She enjoyed being closed off, despite her mother's and her friends' opinions on it. She enjoyed the safety of it, the control. So, no, she did not date.

But she had gone on two dates with Nadia now, desperate to get Callie out of her head and hoping to feel that spark with anybody else. Literally anyone. She kept waiting for that feeling to lock into place, and it constantly evaded her. She could tell the nurse liked her a lot and she was starting to feel guilty about it, like she was using her. The conversations were fine, and the sex was too. It served its purpose. But Arizona still felt nothing.

They were sitting with each other in the cafeteria now, and Arizona was trying very hard to keep herself focused on what the other blonde was saying. She was prattling on, recounting some story about a summer camp she attended as a kid, and Arizona was staring off in space as she chewed on an apple.

Maybe staring off in space wasn't accurate, because she was actually staring at Callie's ever growing lunch table. She seemed to make friends so easily. Everyone she met seemed to adore her instantly, bewitched by her the same way Arizona had been that first night.

She had even won over Addison Montgomery in a matter of a few weeks. That one, in particular, pissed her off. Arizona had been trying to get in the world class fetal surgeon's good graces for over a year now, more than a little interested in her surgical specialty, and it wasn't that Addison didn't like the blonde. She liked her just fine. But things were always kept all business all the time, strictly about work despite her best attempts at forging a friendship. Arizona watched as the redhead laughed at something Callie said, head falling back like they had been best friends for years, and felt envy twist in her gut. It was just so easy for her. She seemed to float through the world.

Callie had the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. Laugh, too. She was just effortlessly beautiful in a way that made it hard not to stare at her. Even the air shimmered around her.

"But then I fell off the horse and broke my arm, so I couldn't even swim all summer. My camp counselor had to take my bathing suits so I wouldn't sneak into the lake."

"That's funny."

Nadia's eyes narrowed at the disinterested tone of voice. She turned her head, following Arizona's line of vision, and sighed when she found her staring at a certain orthopedic surgeon. Again.

"Arizona."

Nothing.

"Dr. Robbins."

Still nothing. Nadia sighed again, letting her fork fall onto her plate.

"All you ever see is her."

That startled Arizona out of her trance. Her brows furrowed and she met her eyes. "What?"

"I like you, Arizona. I like you a lot. But it's pretty obvious you've got a thing for her, and I do have a little self respect."

A breathy laugh. Then, "I definitely do not have a thing for her. I can't stand her."

"Riiiiight." Nadia's brow raised like she didn't believe her. "It's fine if you do. You and I aren't anything, not really, even if I do like you." She glanced back at Callie again, clicking her tongue against her teeth. "Or did. I'm not competing with that."

"It isn't like that. At all. She is so fucking annoying—"

"She's beautiful. You should tell her how you feel." Nadia shrugged a shoulder and started to gather up her lunch tray. "Thank you for the dates. I really did have a lot of fun, but I think we should probably call it here. I guess I'll just… see you around?"

Arizona sighed, offering nothing but a nod and an apologetic smile as Nadia left. Well, there went that distraction.

How was Callie still ruining everything for her? When they weren't even speaking?

She had touched her once and her life had been changed ever since. She had all but consumed her. And Arizona couldn't fucking take it anymore.

Her jaw clenched as she watched Callie exit the cafeteria, strolling at a leisurely pace, and Arizona was up and following her in a second, driven purely by her own need. Need, when she tried to ignore it, became her constant companion, like a shitty roommate or a yowling cat: insistent and omnipresent and impatient. Need scratched at her until her nerves tingled, until she felt the tension like a nervous energy, buzzing in the marrow of her bones. Need coiled in her gut, drawing her like a magnet to the one person she should hate. She caught up to her easily, hand sliding into hers and tugging her into a nearby on-call room.

"What the—" Callie startled, eyes struggling to adjust to the dark room, straining to make out the silhouette standing in front of her.

Callie knew who it was before she even spoke. She knew it by the smell of her perfume alone.

"I cannot stop thinking about you. It's pissing me off."

But the familiar voice didn't sound pissed off. It sounded needy, a little scratchy. It sounded a lot like giving in.

Callie heard the soft click of a lock being turned and swallowed. Her eyes adjusted slowly, and the silhouette colored in until it became the woman that had been the center of all of her thoughts for the past month. Arizona had her back pressed against the door, a lower lip between her perfect teeth, looking so beautiful that Callie had to mentally call upon her God for strength. "I don't know how that's my problem."

"I keep thinking one more time is going to get you out of my system. And it never does."

"Again, I really don't know how that has anything to do with me."

"Do you think about me too?"

Callie's face had gone loose, expression vacant, but a fault line shivered beneath it at the question. They stood in pained silence for a few moments, the next words stuck in her throat. "Of course I do."

That was enough to get Arizona moving, stepping closer, hands reaching out to touch. But Callie stepped back. "Don't you have a little girlfriend you should be in here with?"

Arizona's breath hitched the smallest bit, head falling to the side. A smirk teased her lips and she almost laughed. Her voice came out raspy. "Why? Are you jealous of her?"

"No," Callie lied. Just a little too immediate to be convincing. "I just feel bad for you."

"Oh yeah?" Arizona kept stalking towards her.

"Yeah."

"And why's that?" She gave Callie a soft push until she was sitting on the small bed behind her, and she stood between her knees, hands immediately falling to the back of her neck. She smirked at the way Callie looked up at her, at the way those strong hands fell to her hips. She had her now, and they both knew it.

"Because," Callie swallowed. This was a terrible idea. "I know I can fuck you so much better."

A really fucking terrible idea. But then Arizona was straddling her, whispering prove it in her ear, and she didn't have time to think, the pressure of their bodies against one another washing whatever brain activity she had left away.

Callie was fairly certain she would always give in to her. Whatever she wanted, she'd let her take. Arizona could keep her a dirty little secret, come to her tasting like other women, and Callie would still let this happen. Every fucking time. Just for a fraction of her.

Callie kissed her—not a chaste kiss with closed lips, but a messy, sliding moment of communion. Something raw and empty inside of Arizona healed over, a loneliness she'd noted before but never truly understood.

They had never done this while sober. Arizona was astonished by how good it felt, somehow even better without her senses dulled. She melted into the woman beneath her as they kissed, one of her hands sliding into dark hair and tangling there.

Callie flipped them suddenly, and Arizona landed on her back with a giggle that was so adorable it gave the brunette pause. Fuck, she was so cute, and fuck this was such a bad idea.

They needed to talk. She should stop. She should pull back and get off of her and demand they talk about it.

She kissed her again instead, the feeling of Arizona's mouth momentarily numbing her thoughts. She tasted so good, like apples and cake batter lip gloss, and she was starting to squirm in excitement underneath her.

Callie loved having her like this. She was always so in control at work. A know-it-all and competitive and a type A perfectionist. But in Callie's hands? She completely fell apart. She relinquished all of her self-possession, just momentarily, and it was fucking perfect every time.

She hooked her fingers into Arizona's scrub pants and underwear and tugged them down in one go, her fingers trailing along her impossibly long legs with the motion. Her skin was so soft and so warm and Callie needed her.

Callie kind of hated that she wasn't the only one who got to see her like this. She was gorgeous, eyes fluttering, blonde hair falling everywhere, chest rising and falling rapidly as she fought and failed to stay in control of her body. Always so needy. Callie wanted to give her everything she had, until she didn't need anymore.

Callie pushed those toned thighs apart, spreading her open shamelessly, needing to taste her. Arizona's back arched and she whined when she felt her tongue, the noise coming out quiet and strangled and desperate. She pushed herself up on her elbows to watch Callie through hooded eyes, cheeks flushed a vivid pink. "Fuck, Callie, God."

Callie moaned too, a carnal call and response. Arizona was obscenely wet, tasting so mouthwatering that she would have been content to stay there between her legs for hours.

Arizona fisted a hand in brunette hair to keep it out of the way for her, Callie so captivated by the task at hand that she probably wouldn't have stopped even if the building was on fire.

She didn't need to touch her with her hands a single time. All it took was her mouth. Her perfect fucking mouth. Arizona fell back flat on the mattress when her vision began to white out, and she started to cry an indiscernible mix of Callie's name and a plea of don't stop don't stop don't stop, and then she was shattering against her, her entire world going blurry for a few seconds. Callie pressed her hips down firmly when they started to jerk, and her mouth didn't slow until Arizona weakly pushed her away, sensitive.

Callie slid up the length of the bed and laid next to her, watching her with a smug grin as the blonde slowly came back to her body. She watched the way the muscles of her lower abdomen twitched, a blissed out expression adorning her face as she panted. "Did I prove it enough for you?"

"I dunno." Arizona giggled lazily, rolling her head to the side so they were looking at each other. "I think I'll have to test it a few more times just to be sure."

Brown eyes rolled. "You're insufferable."

"You suffer me just fine."

Callie's lips twitched up into a small smile. She had to resist the urge to lean in and kiss her. She couldn't tell which she wanted more: to press her into the mattress and fuck her again or to poke her dimples until she giggled that angelic laugh.

This was the most confusing dynamic she'd ever experienced in her life.

Because Callie did. She suffered her just fine.

A/N: I had the hardest time with this chapter. I completely deleted and rewrote it in its entirety twice. I have no idea why I struggled so much with it, but I'm just gonna blame it on school for frying my brain. I'm tiredddd! I had to finally stop looking at/critiquing it and just publish it or else it would keep sitting in my drafts forever, so I genuinely hope it wasn't too painful to read lol

This is definitely the busiest semester I've had in grad school so far, so updates will probably start being closer to every 1-2 weeks. Just a heads up! I wanted to thank you guys SOOO much for the response to the last chapter and the story so far in general, it means more to me than you guys know :')

As always, thank you so much for reading and even more so for leaving a comment. I hope you are having fun reading :) have the best day!