As she walked toward the barn, she looked at the darken sky scattered with stars. She wondered what he was doing at that moment.
Since that afternoon, since her chance meeting with Michael, an ache, a twinge had surfaced, lodged in her chest, settled in. She tried to shake it, tried to ignore it, but it was there to stay, so it seemed. She simply sighed, then entered the dimly lit barn.
Inside, Simon was talking quietly to Maggie May, the 13 year old American Paint mare who was put up for adoption by her owner Elizabeth Sweeney a few days earlier. Since her arrival, she had been listless, distressed, not willing to eat or drink, not surprising given her history.
As a spirited two year old filly, Maggie May was a gift to the horse-crazy Elizabeth for her twelfth birthday from her parents. She fell in love with the young horse's sweet bay face, deep brown eyes, long eyelashes, and white mane. She had a single white diamond on her forehead, four white stocking legs, white patches on her body and a long bay colored tail. The two bonded instantaneously, became inseparable thereafter. They rode every day, some days English, other days western, still others bare back. They jumped, raced, played, told each other secrets. Maggie May was the one consistency for Elizabeth through the trials, tribulations, joys of her young life, her first kiss, first boyfriend, show jumping wins and losses, her parents' divorce, the break-up with her first love, the drama of high school, the death of her best friend in a car crash, college, her first real job, now her engagement to her boyfriend. In turn, Elizabeth, without fail, was there for Maggie May. She did morning chores and night check, exercised her, put a blanket on her in the winter, gave her cool baths in the summer, ensured her shoes were on tight, brushed her mane and tail braiding them with pretty ribbons, nursed her through every ailment, made sure she had regular check-ups and vaccinations. Their lives were enmeshed, entangled, intertwined, inseparable.
Though Elizabeth had tried for months to figure out how to keep Maggie May, her impending marriage, followed by a move to Montreal and a new job left no room for her horse, spelling the beginning of the end of their more than decade long friendship. Elizabeth was beside herself with grief. She turned to Amy for help, not to sell Maggie May, but rather to find the perfect next forever home for her beloved horse. If the two hour long, tearful goodbye was any indication, the transition was going to be difficult for them both. Simon and Amy beared witness to their heartbreaking goodbye.
At just 19 years old, Simon was Amy's ranch hand, assistant, and basically, jack of all trades for her Heartland horse business. As the only son of Ralph and Emma Emerson, he grew up on his family's relatively small working cattle ranch, just 300 acres with 180 heads, in Crownest Pass. Needless to say, he knew his way around all things ranching, cattle, horses, manure and hard work. And like most ranchers, he was raised to respect and provide for the livestock, but he also learned to not get emotionally involved with them. The livestock were their business, they were not pets.
When Emma died from breast cancer two years years ago, Ralph sold his ranch, moved his son to Hudson. A chance meeting with Jack, at Maggie restaurant no less, resulting in Ralph becoming Heartland's new cattle ranch manager. Simon was Ralph's plus one, so to speak.
"Hey." Amy announced herself to Simon and the horses as she entered the barn.
"Hey." Simon responded back but didn't look up, continuing to pet and comfort the dispirited Maggie May.
Amy studied him just briefly. Simon was tall, well over 6 foot, sinewy muscular arms honed from years of ranch work. His hair was a mousy brown, his eyes hazel, his cheeks had a smattering of freckles that grew together as the summer sun tanned his skin. She appreciated and trusted his knowledge, skill and work ethic right off the bat. But, their shared loss of their mothers in their teens bonded them beyond work and words.
"How's she doing?" Amy asked.
"The same. She's still having a tough time, not eating, not drinking. This is the third day. If things don't change, we may lose her." Simon generally spoke the unvarnished truth, without softening the message. This time was no different. He sighed, hoped. "Maybe she'll be back soon."
"Who?"
"Elizabeth."
"Maybe." Amy shrugged, sounding doubtful as she walked up to Harley, stroking his forehead, raking her fingers through his locks. "You can never tell about people, who will return and who won't."
Simon considered her words. "Well then, in that case, I'd like to adopt her."
"Maggie May?" Amy asked. In the two years that she had known Simon, he had never taken personal interest in any of the myriad of beautiful horses that rotated in, then out of Heartland.
"Yeah." He paused. "Is that okay? I promise that I won't slack off in my other chores."
"Of course, it's okay Simon. She'll be a good horse and you a good owner."
"Thanks Amy." He swallowed hard, then confessed. "You know. I've never really had a horse of my own."
"Really? You are so good with them." Amy was surprised, but not completely.
"I mean we had horses at the ranch and all. But not one that was just mine." He confessed.
"Simon. Don't worry, you'll be terrific. And, Maggie May will be fortunate to have you."
He looked at her with uncertainty, then back at Maggie May. "Maggie May. I'll take good care of you. I may not be Elizabeth, but I am going to try. Okay?" The horse did not respond, but accepted his light touch on her nose. Then he whispered. "Give me a chance."
Amy wondered what it was about Maggie May that spoke to him, but didn't ask. Maybe it was a shared sense of loss, grief.
"Okay if I stay with her tonight?" He asked.
Amy, pleasantly surprised again, smiled. "Of course. She'll like that. Do you need blankets and a pillow?"
He shook his head. No. "By the way. I finished night check. Including Spartan and Harley."
"So I see. Thanks."
Then speaking directly to Maggie May, he told her his plans. "Mags. So I'm gonna go get a few things from the house. I'll be back in a bit. Okay?"
"Simon. Say hello to your dad for me. Tell him that we missed him at dinner."
"Will do. Night Amy."
"Night."
Simon left the barn. Soon after, she heard his truck come to life, then drive away.
Finally alone, she began sort out the events of the day. "Well Harley. How are you tonight?" A deep, low rumble escaped the horse's throat as she continued to play with his mane. "Good to hear. I am okay. You know. Life is funny. One second we're going along just fine, a good plan in place. Then when we least expect it, things change." Then she added, "I hate change."
She paused. "So. Today I met this guy, Michael Barnes. He's a vet who teaches at UCVM. Funny thing. He knows Ty. They went to Vet school together. He still keeps in touch with him."
Hearing Ty's name, Harley suddenly became lively, snorting, nodding his head, stomping his foot.
"I know, right? What's the chance of that? Small world I guess." She shook her head. "Anyhow. Apparently, Ty is in Vancouver, at a Wildlife Rescue. I hear he's doing well." Harley snorted again. "Yeah Harley. I am glad too."
"I asked Michael to tell him hello." She sighed. "It's been a long time Harley. He moved on. And, we've moved on too. Right?"
Lost in her thoughts, she continued to pet Ty's horse, run her fingers through his mane. Spartan, wanting her attention, snorted loudly, kicked his stall wall with a single loud thud.
Knocked back to the present, she turned to Spartan, laughed, then walked over to his stall. "Sorry boy. I didn't mean to neglect you." Spartan nickered. "So how's my handsome boy tonight? Guess you heard about Ty."
Spartan nickered low and gentle. "I know. I promise. I will be okay." Rubbing her hand up and down his neck, she added. "Hey. How about you, me and Harley take a ride to the river tomorrow? We need a some new scenery, a wind shift."
She nodded for them. "Okay. It's a plan. First thing. Now let's get some shut eye. Night boys."
She moved to Maggie May's stall, her mostly bay head held low, brown tail unmoving, her brown eyes listless. Elizabeth's sweater was draped over the half wall, though it didn't seem to help. Maggie May reminded her of Pegasus after her mother died, distant and sad. She held her hand out to her first, before her touched her neck gently. Quietly, she began to talk to her.
"Hey Maggie May. I know you are having a hard time, missing Elizabeth. I know what that's like. So does Simon. We both do. It's okay to grieve, to be sad. But you have to eat and drink just a little. Try to stay strong. Elizabeth wants that for you."
She reached into her bucket of honeyed oats that Simon had prepared for her. Grabbing a handful of sticky feed, she tried to coax her to eat.
"Just a nibble? Please?" Amy pleased. Maggie May just stared.
"I guess you heard that Simon wants to adopt you, Maggie May. He will take good care of you. He's a good man, has a good heart. And just like you, he's a little lost, missing someone important. No doubt, it will take time, but please let him in. You two will be good for each other." The horse didn't respond.
"Well. Night Maggie May. Simon will be back soon to keep you company."
Feeling a bit out of sorts, Amy ascended the stairs, closed the loft door behind her. She looked around her loft home, designed in her style, a fresh, modern but soft and homey vibe. She was glad that she invested in its major renovation, close to home, her work but with clear independence.
As she readied for bed, she gazed at herself in the bathroom mirror. At 26, Amy thought of herself as pretty as enough, more like the girl next door. She liked the color of her deep blue eyes, healthy skin, blonde long hair that reached well beyond the middle her back. She looked closer. She saw that a hint of sadness, that lackluster had returned to her eyes. She sighed, frown a bit.
As she reached for her toothbrush, she saw Andrew's next to hers in the holder. She thought of him, his beautiful face, strong arms, his hearty laugh. His kindness. His proposal. She glanced to the mirror again, hoping against hope that thoughts of him would be reflected in her face. She didn't see it.
Teeth brushed, face washed, hair in a loose ponytail, she padded into her bedroom, reached into her dresser for her usual night shirt and shorts. Pushed to the back of the drawer, she spied it, Ty's old gray t-shirt emblazed with the words, Music Is My Weapon. She brought it to her nose, it no longer smelled of him. Frowning, she put it on anyhow.
She closed the drawer, then noticed a framed photo of Andrew and herself. Andrew was laughing, she smiling wide. It was taken the day he learned he won a spot on the Canadian Equestrian Team. She sighed.
From the bottom drawer of her nightstand, she pulled out box of photos, keepsakes, opened the lid. On top was the photograph taken the night of her high school dance, the night Ty gave her his promise ring. She pulled out the tiny black velvet box too. Inside were her engagement and promise rings.
Talking to herself aloud, "Well, Amy, if you are going to reminisce ...Okay, face it, you are going to wallow, and wallow deep. So you might as well do it right." She said aloud to herself as she put on both rings and shakily exhaled.
Then Amy climbed into bed, that was once Ty's, forcing herself to think back, to that winter almost four years ago. At just 22 years old, she was engaged to be married to Ty, her best friend and the love of her life. With his encouragement and support, she accepted Prince Ahmed Al Saeed's offer to be the head trainer for the Saudi Arabian Equestrian Team in the World Equestrian Games, the Olympics for competitive show jumping. She was riding high, everything seemed to be falling into place.
For four months, she worked with Ahmed and his team as they competed in competition after competition, traveling across Europe. They performed well in major events, culminating in the World Equestrian Games, where Ahmed won the individual gold metal and the team won the team silver metal. She worked hard, long hours, but she loved every minute of it. The horses, the competition, the travel, the notoriety, the luxury and yes, of course, all the money she earned.
She pulled from the box a few more photographs. In one, the team was holding their medals from the Games, surrounding her, all smiling, grinning. In another, she was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, in a pretty dress. She examined her face, her huge smile, her excitement. She hardly recognized herself.
She knew that the tour, being away from Ty, away from her family, on her own for 4 months, changed her, shaped her, stretched her, forced her to grow, required her to find and use her voice, bolstered her confidence, opened her eyes to things she would never experience in Hudson. The whole thing, and especially Ahmed and his encouragement, taught her to trust herself, her instincts, to be confident. She was truly proud of herself, her work, her achievements, her success, her growth ...even if others were not. Despite everything, Ahmed's growing obsession and harassment, friction with her family, even losing Ty, she told herself, tried for the millionth time to convince herself, she would do it again.
"It was meant to be." She said with as much confidence that she could muster.
She had justified it in her mind, that was the reason that she now ran two successful businesses, one at Heartland, one at Fairfield Stables with Lisa. Career wise, she had the best of both worlds now. She was able to continue her mother's mission in earnest, doing meaningful, important work, horse rescues, rehabs and rehoming, at Heartland on her own. Well, with Simon's assistance. And, at Fairfield Stables, partnering with Lisa, working with high end racehorses and now show jumpers again. The latter business enabled her to financially support the former. That pleased her immensely, to be in the black, to not have to stress over mounting bills, debt, money like her mother had to.
She shook her head, knowing that everything comes with a price. "Ty." She whispered his name. She lost him, her best friend, her first love. That twinge in her chest made itself known, again. The stabbing reminder.
She had long since known that their unraveling started the moment she got in that helicopter to fly to Calgary then off to Europe. Perhaps it start well before that. But, time, distance, life took over, swept them away, apart, down a different path, separate journeys. Each was shaped, honed, changed by their separate lives, siloed experiences.
Though they promised to talk every day, life, plain and simple, wore down then ultimately broke their promise. They each began to focus on their own lives, hers in Europe, Ty's in Hudson. Their individual journey, their own metamorphosis. Maybe, it was about self protection, to squash the terrible missing, to forget their loneliness, to protect their hearts. Maybe because life demanded it. And, when they did talk, they left out the details of their individual journeys so their separation widened.
She thought about that night, her first back from Europe, sitting with Ty on the very bed, where she was sitting now, alone.
He tried to kiss her, she wasn't ready. They bumped heads, bumped noses. Kissing had always been the most natural thing between them, now it was strange, uncomfortable. Awkward. Back then, they chuckled, blamed it on being out of practice. But it was much deeper than that. They both knew it.
She remembers bits and pieces of their weird conversation about things she should have known, but didn't.
"So you are in the prospecting business now with Caleb? How's that going?" She remembered asking more as a mere acquaintance as opposed to a fiancé, a best friend.
"Good. Except your dad has gone into competition against us." He answered giving no real details, no real substance.
"Really?" She asked missing the chance in dive back into his life, to reconnect.
"Would I kid about your dad?" He opened the door wider, she didn't enter.
"I guess not." Then she changed the subject. "How's the clinic?"
"Busy. Hectic" Another meaningless answer. "I am fast tracking at school so I can finish early."
"Oh. You didn't mention it." Amy grumbled slightly, at the new, unexpected information.
"How could I? It was impossible to get a hold you."
"Yeah. I was all over the place." She tried to give an excuse, but didn't dispute his supposition.
"Time zones, and everything." He added. He tried to kiss her again, but it just wasn't right.
Lou called it, "Re-entry Pains", a period of awkwardness when you reunite with someone you love after being apart. Lou said it happened to Peter and her all the time. it was natural. She said things would get better.
But they didn't, at least not right away. Their misfires grew into misunderstandings, petty arguments grew into fights. They didn't see eye to eye, they didn't connect, didn't fit anymore.
He said that she had changed. Everyone said that she had. That she had high flown ideas now, was snobby, demanding, restless, selfish. Looking back, she was all that. She had grown used to having her say, expecting more. She had new dreams and goals beyond her current life at Heartland. Yes, she had changed.
But so had Ty. When she came home, she expected to find Ty waiting for her, but he wasn't. His mind, his focus was elsewhere, on his new horse prospecting business, fast tracking at school. He even let the ranch that they both wanted so badly slip through his fingers. He seemed to be contented to buy a new truck instead their forever home. He was still making decisions without her.
Then it all fell apart. Georgie found that stupid video of Ahmed and her at the party the night the team won the Games. Memorializing, that meaningless kiss Ahmed gave her, that she did not expect, did not want. His mounting obsession with her. Ahmed return to Hudson, showing up everywhere, sending her gifts, a horse, a truck, airplane tickets. Then, at the family dinner, Ahmed proclaimed his love for her, in front of Ty, in front of her family. Ty forcing him to leave him, but no before head butting him, punching Ahmed in the face. Then he turned to her, pure hurt in his eyes, he accused her of keeping secrets, insinuating that she had lied, and worst, that she had been unfaithful.
And, no matter how many times she said nothing happened, that it wasn't as it seemed, that she had no feelings for Ahmed. That Ahmed's obsession was all his own, she did not feel the same. That she had tried to end their relationship, their friendship, their business dealings. Ty refused to believe her.
When Ty broke off their engagement, he said that she had changed, that she no longer cared for horses, that she only cared for money, parties and rich people. He didn't ask her, he didn't want to know the truth. He simply drew his own conclusions and walked away.
Even the memories still hurt terribly, shook her to the core but she couldn't blame him. She had hurt him, so he hurt her back.
As much as the four months on tour were a high, the months that followed her return, especially after their break, were a horrible low.
For months she would see Ty everywhere, in town, at the vet clinic, driving down the road, even at Heartland, her home. He refused to speak to her, passing her by without a word. When he looked at her, his eyes showed only emptiness, contempt. Worse was when he looked right through her, as if she wasn't there. She felt judged, punished, shunned, unloved, not just by Ty but by her family. They seemed to be on his side. They chipped away at her confidence, her desire for life, her dreams. On top of that she watched that video over and over again, analyzing it frame by frame, torturing herself, blaming herself. She hit rock bottom. She became a shell of a person.
She let out a shaky sigh, trying not to cry. But a single tear teetered on the edge of her eyelash, then spilled over, ran down her cheek. Her heart hurt all over again. As the pain engulfed her, tears, one by one, strolled down her cheeks.
She heard a sound downstairs, startling her. She crept to the door, opened it just a crack to investigate. Simon's gentle voice talking to Maggie May floated up the stairs, warming her ear, calming her somehow. She sat down on the floor, listened until her tears stopped, then got back into bed. She looked at the rings on her fingers, then wondered if that other woman wore Ty's rings now. She shook her head, sighed. "None of my business. He's moved on. I've moved on."
She thought back to their last trip to Pike River. She and her grandfather were there for Will Vernon, to help him save the wild horses from another cull, this one orchestrated Matt Pincher. Her dad showed up unexpectedly, bringing Ty with him, throwing them together. So, they put aside their feelings, their raw hurt, and worked together for several days, trying to save the wild horses from another unwarranted cull. Focused solely on the horses, they were a team again, fighting against a common enemy in the common goal to save them. They were Amy and Ty again. Like old times. When Matt Pincher changed his mind, cancelled the cull, freeing the horses, they were jubilant, they had succeeded. Together.
That evening, they met at the gazebo, at the edge of the river, tiny white lights twinkling in unison with the stars above. Never one for clearly expressing his feelings, Ty talked, rambled really, attempting to explain himself, to make-up.
He told her again that she had changed. She conceited his point. He said she had changed in good ways too. That he had changed as well, that he discovered that he could live on his own. But then he said, "But I don't want to do it on my own. I want to do it with you. Okay?"
She remembers that she simply said, "No. Ty, it's not okay."
Ty was speechless, deflated.
He turned to walk away, she grabbed his arm, pulled him back, grasped his hands, held them in hers. "Look Ty. As much as I love you, miss you and want to be with you, we can't simply forget this, sweep it under the rug and pretend that it didn't happen. We have resolve this. Because it will surface again and again. I hurt you and you hurt me. Deeply."
He hung his head.
"Listen. Ty, we can be friends, some day something more. But first. We need to rebuild us, rebuild our trust, our faith in one another. We need to start over. Okay?"
He quietly nodded. "Okay." She reached out to hug him, he met her half way, pulling her close, embracing her. He kissed the top of her head. "Amy. I love you. I want to make this, us, work."
"Me too." Then she added. "Let's keep this to ourselves. I want this to be ours alone." She suggested, he agreed.
Soon after their return home, Ty was offered a coveted, nine month ex-internship with Vancouver chapter of Vets Without Borders associated with UCVM. He had forgotten to tell her that he applied for it when he decided to fast track school. With business lagging at Scott's vet clinic, the opportunity came at a good time. Even though Ty would have to relocate to Calgary for the remaining two semesters of his schooling, Amy encouraged him to take it, to relish it. She told him that she didn't want to hold him back.
They spent every second of their last two weeks together talking, reconnecting, bearing feelings, being truthful, making amends. Freed from the watchful eyes, expectations, opinions of others, they rebounded, became open, caring, playful again. They made new memories as they whispered, laughed, tickled, teased, held hands, rode horses, watched the sunset and rise the next day. They made plans, promised to talk every night, see each other every weekend.
She told him that he needed reliable transportation to travel back and forth. So Amy bought Old Blue so he could make a down payment on a new truck. He sold his share of the prospecting business to Caleb's an old rodeo buddy, so he could pay off the rest. She promised that she would look after Harley, his beloved horse. That she would find another ranch that they could call home.
They spent their last night together in the loft, right here in this very bed. They talked in hushed tones, shared shy glances, held hands, talked of hopes, dreams, a future together. He asked her if she would wear his promise ring again. She was thrilled, immediately said yes.
Well before dawn, they kissed. At first, tender, shy, sweet, then with renewed passion, urgency, lust. Love.
Amy asked him to make love to her. She remembers Ty looking into her eyes, with love, with want, with passion. He asked her if she was sure. She loved him for that. She said yes.
Their lovemaking was slow, tender, but passionate. They explored every inch of each other's body, with fingers, lips, tongues. Each pleased the other to sounds of breathless sighs, rhythmic motion, squeaky bed springs, blissful heights, uncontrolled moans until they fell asleep in each other's arms. She had never been so satisfied, so contented, before or since. She was in love with her best friend.
She remembers that next day so clearly, the day he left for Calgary, the last day she saw him. It was early September, unusually hot and windy. She was wearing his promise ring, her white translucent top, his favorite, the one with the spaghetti straps and blue ribbon. The wind was blowing her hair, ruffling her shirt everywhere. She was standing next to his new truck, his tanned arm hanging out the open window on the driver's side. He was behind the wheel.
"Ty. I am so proud of you." She said sincerely, lovingly, touching his forearm through the open window.
"Amy. I couldn't have done it without you."
"It was all you, Ty Borden. You have worked so hard for this internship, for everything you've accomplished. You are following your dreams. These nine months will go fast. You'll see. Soon you be a full-fledged Vet, you'll come home. We will be together again. This time for good."
"Come with me. Please." He asked again.
"You know I can't. This is your time, your dream, an opportunity of a lifetime. Enjoy it, Ty. My work is here. I will wait for you."
"We'll keep in touch every day. We'll see each other every weekend." He said, trying to convince, reassure himself as much as her. Knowing full well that given their track record, they were pitted against the odds, that they would lose touch. It was just a matter of time.
She nodded, smiled best that she could, but said nothing as her eyes filled with tears.
"Amy, please don't cry. Remember, I am a call away. If you need anything, please call." He said. "Any time. Day or night. And I will come home."
She nodded. "Okay." She said, just barely above a whisper.
"I love you." He said for the hundredth millionth time.
"I know. I love you too. I always have. I always will." She said quietly. They kissed tenderly once more.
He nodded, put the truck to gear, waved, drove away, looking at her through his side mirror. She was standing there waving, until he simply disappeared.
Five minutes later, her phone rang. "Hey Horsey Girl. What are you doing?"
She laughed, they kept talking through his hour long drive to Calgary.
For the next three months, they talked at least nightly. Texted constantly. Wrote love letters full of emotion, sweet words, things only lovers should read. She saved every one, in her memento box. She smiled as she reminisced about that time, their conversations, their deepening discussions, sharing, flirting, laughing, their sexy pillow talk. Sometimes they would fall asleep on the phone only to wake up the next morning and talk some more.
The internship required him to travel on the weekends to areas where endangered animals were threaten, needed veterinarian assistance. Because the internship was unpaid, he also got a job with a local vet to make ends meet. So He couldn't come to home to Heartland like they planned.
On the last night they talked, she had seen Ghost, standing in the far pasture in the driving snow as she was hurried to the barn for night check. Ty was in Nova Scotia tracking three separating sighting of an eastern cougar, once considered extinct. Though it was late, 1am for Ty, she called him, she needed to make sure he was okay.
She called him from the loft, sitting on his bed. After 4 rings, he answered, sounding faraway, as though she waken him from a deep sleep.
"Hello?"
"Ty?"
Silence.
"Ty? It's me, Amy." She said louder, thinking maybe that had a bad connection.
"Um. Okay." He whispered, hesitant, disconnected. "What do you want?"
She was taken aback slightly. "Ty. I saw Ghost tonight. Are you okay?" She was truly worried.
Before he could answer, Amy clearly heard a woman's voice telling him to hang up the phone, to come back to bed, that he was naked. She called him Ty Honey.
Then their phone call went dead. She immediately called back.
"Hello?" The same woman answered, almost breathless.
She asked for Ty.
"He's busy." She said abruptly. Then she said "Oh Ty honey, oh.."
She heard his voice. She thought he said something. Then the phone went dead.
Amy looked at the phone, trying to process what she just heard. She couldn't believe it, he was with another woman. Her thoughts, her feelings went numb. She was shaking, her chest tightened, she couldn't breath. Tears filled her eyes. Her heart broke into a million pieces, chunks lodged in her throat, burned. She wanted to yell, scream, cry. But, she couldn't. She felt like it was her fault.
With all the strength she could muster, she composed a text.
"Ty. I've decided to move on with my life. I truly wish you only the best in yours. I ask that you do not contact me or my family. Love always. Amy."
She remembered blocking him on her cell phone, deleting his contact information, powering it down. She took off her ring, putting in the nightstand's top drawer.
She crawled into bed, covers over her head, then she sobbed quietly for hours. Exhausted she finally fell into a deep, fitful sleep.
Her grandfather found her there just after noon the next day. A client had shown up with a trailer to pick up their horse. She wasn't answering her phone, no one knew where she was. When he entered the barn, the lights were still on, her chores undone. He took care of client, then found her, a mess. He helped her back to the house, to her bedroom. When he saw that she no longer wore the promise ring, he didn't need to ask.
Amy stayed in bed for days, without speaking, rejecting food, visitors. She either slept or stared vacantly at the wall, listless.
No matter how many times, no matter how many ways they asked, she never told her family what had actually happened. So they stopped asking. Each drew their own conclusions, she didn't care to fill in the facts. Amy was too heartbroken, hurt, embarrassed. She felt like Ty played her for the fool. He set her up, just to see her fall.
Grief followed Amy for months. Everywhere she looked, everyone she saw, everything she did reminded her of Ty, his unfaithfulness, his cruelness. So she stayed home mostly, lived her life in a fog, in slow motion, without much joy, without much desire. Her business suffered. Aside from her chores, she mostly stayed in her bedroom, barely ate, lost weigh, became pale, gaunt.
She knew that Ty's absence, his abandonment, his sudden silence, affected the entire family. Each responded in their own way. Jack was hit hardest, he grieved for Ty, his son, as much as Amy, maybe more. He had tried to call Ty many times, left unanswered voicemails and texts. He quit trying after a voice said that the number had been disconnected. Like her, he grieved in silence. He would just sit for hours in front of fireplace, leaning against Lisa for support, not speaking.
Lou, Katie and Georgie were sad, hurt, partly angry. Though they never said it to her, she could tell that they somehow blamed her, by their looks, their lack of words. And, Peter was gone so much, he didn't seem to notice.
Her dad's reaction was uncharacteristically unselfish. First, he was furious, angry, called Ty every name in the book. He groused at anyone who brought up Ty in conversation, or tried to pry into Amy's business. He didn't cut Jack any slack either. He removed all traces of Ty from ranch, even her bedroom and barn, then packed them away in the Quonset Hut. He tried to sell Old Blue and Harley, but Amy wouldn't hear of it. He was trying to protect her.
Amy's thoughts drifted to Lisa, she could not have survived without her. Lisa was her support, her lifeline through the despair, the overwhelming grief that followed. She held Amy, rubbed her back, wiped her tears, petted her hair. She never asked questions, never pried, only listened if Amy chose to talk. Lisa became the mother, the confidant, the friend that Amy so desperately needed. She offered her refuge, gave her a place of solace, safety. Mostly she just loved Amy, unconditionally, unabashedly without judgement.
In January, Lisa took her to France where Amy spent most of her time in bed, sleeping, recovering.
They traveled again to France in April, in June, then again in August. They traveled around the country, seeing her friends, attending various functions, shopping, sightseeing. But, mostly, they worked and together they worked well. Soon they found a rhythm, a balance as they inspected, negotiated, bid and bought new stock. They forged a partnership in thoroughbred racers. The day after they returned from Europe in August, they formalized their business relationship by contract, becoming partners in Fairfield Stables. Amy used some of her savings from the European tour to purchase equity in their new business.
Their partnership flourished as did their deep friendship. Amy smiled, feeling fortunate, blessed to have Lisa in her life.
Her thoughts were interrupt by the ringing of her phone on the nightstand. She saw it was him. She wasn't ready to hear his voice, to talk. Not in her present state. She didn't answer. But her thoughts drifted to him anyway.
Hello everyone. Happy Spring. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Tell me what you think.
SBR
Be safe, stay healthy.
Ps. Our son is getting married in a month. A busy, wonderful for us all. I will post as soon as I am able.