JENNIE

I glance at the text on my phone screen. I wish I could share with Lisa how ecstatic I am for her. But I can't. Of course, I can't. At least now, as Mary wished, Lisa will have something to focus her attention on. But I also intend to take myself out of the equation. Under the guise of celebratory drinks, I ask her to meet me at a bar around the corner from my office. I need to see her one last time and, for obvious reasons, it needs to be in a public place.

When she arrives, it hurts to see her walk toward me. To see that smile on her face that lights up the entire room while knowing she might never smile at me like that again.

I do allow myself a hug. "Congratulations," I whisper in Lisa's ear as I hold her close.

"Thanks." She studies my face. "I was a bit surprised to get this invite."

"Your mother came to see me today."

"Oh, no." Lisa puts the menu away. "I'm so sorry. What did she say? I can hazard a guess, but… Oh god, was she doing her micro-managing mother-in-law act?"

A server stops by, and we order a glass of wine—definitely not a bottle.

"She's worried and she has every right to be."

"Yes, but still. I can't imagine it's fun to get that kind of visit from your husband's mother."

"It wasn't meant to be fun. But this isn't really about Mary. I've made a decision and I wanted to tell you in person." It's the only way I see out of this.

"Okay." Lisa's smile dims considerably.

"I'm going away for a while. I'm going home to Iowa. Spend some time with my own family."

"Oh. Okay." The light in this place is low and not very good at illuminating people's faces. It's hard to gauge Lisa's reaction—not that it still matters at this point. "How long?"

"As long as it takes for me to feel like I can come back. I'll work remotely as best I can, but Sana's going to have to cover for me, maybe hire someone new."

"Does Kai know?"

I shake my head. "Not yet. I needed to talk to you first, Lisa, because… I think we should tell him the truth."

The light might be weak, but there's enough of it for me to see Lisa's eyebrows shoot all the way up her forehead. "Tell him? About us? Have you lost your mind?"

"No, on the contrary. How can I ever go back to him with that lie festering between us? I can't do that. I'm not that person."

"You can't tell him and then leave for Iowa for an undetermined period of time. What about me?"

Lisa's right. I can't leave her to deal with the massive fallout of this on her own. "I don't have to tell him everything. I don't have to tell him I have feelings for you, although he might put two and two together. Let's not forget that Mary knows, and these things have a tendency to come out at some point. That's why I figure complete honesty is the best policy."

"Oh, no. I disagree. A lot."

Our wine arrives, which gives me the opportunity to take a much-needed breath.

"Why can't you just go away without saying anything? Think about your life and whatever else you need to, and only then decide whether to tell him about your… indiscretion."

If only it was just that. "It's not just the sex. I need to be honest about all of it. What I feel for you."

Lisa pauses and briefly looks me in the eye. "You have feelings for me?"

I can only nod. "All the more reason for me to leave."

"Fuck." Lisa stares into her glass. "Those feelings are very mutual, you know, in case you were wondering," she mumbles into her wine, but I can hear her loud and clear.

"We have no choice, Lisa." It takes all the willpower I have to not put my hand on hers. "We can't act on our feelings. We can't do that to Kai."

"Agreed, so please don't tell him. This is not a decision you can make on your own. My life will be impacted by it as well."

"I won't tell him it's you, but I have to tell him something."

"Why? You have plenty of reasons to go away, to take a break from your marriage. Why add insult to injury?"

"Because I'm sick of lying to my husband."

"That may be so, but you'll only hurt him even more. And me. And Mom. Everyone, only so you can get some relief." Lisa pins her gaze on me. "Sometimes it's kinder not to tell someone the truth, especially someone you love."

"Do you really believe that? After what Mina did to you?"

"Mina didn't sleep with my brother. She slept with my best friend and Seulgi has not been my friend since. Of course she had to tell me. I needed to know, but there are some things you can't come back from."

"Maybe you can when it's family."

"Seulgi was like my family. I wanted to marry Mina. Now, I never see them anymore and I miss them, because they were my two best friends in the world, and then suddenly, I didn't have a girlfriend and I didn't have a best friend anymore either."

"But either way, Lisa, they had to tell you."

"Yes, but the circumstances couldn't be more different. They fell in love. Mina was leaving me for her." Lisa shakes her head, sadness in her glance. "I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. Most certainly not on my brother."

"So, even though you've been cheated on, been lied to by the people you loved the most, you still don't think we should tell Kai?"

"No, because you and I are not a thing, Jennie. You're not leaving me for Kai. We're not having an affair. We were together for two nights. It's…. What did you call it? Some mindless fun. Certainly nothing to break my brother's heart over and have him hate me for the rest of my life."

I reach for her hand. She doesn't pull away. "It was anything but mindless fun. I miss you. I miss walking out of the pool house and seeing you there. Making plans with you. Doing things with you, even if it was just hanging out, just chitchatting in the kitchen. I miss how simply being with you makes me feel."

"Yeah. Well." Lisa takes a deep breath. "As I just said, as we both know, as my mother begged us, you and I can't be together, so."

"I know." I release her hand although I'd like to hang on to it a good while longer. "That's why I have to get out of LA."

"Please, Jennie. Don't tell him. I'm asking you. Me." She brings her hand to her chest. "Please."

"I won't tell him it's you. You have my word, but that's the only promise I can make."

"When are you leaving?" Lisa says on a sigh.

"As soon as I've talked to Kai and sorted things out with Sana."

"Will you be in touch?"

"No. I can't be, not with you. I hope you understand."

"I get it."

"You have so much to look forward to, Lisa. Your life's about to change. You will meet so many great people and, who knows, maybe you'll meet someone who makes you feel the spark." I definitely don't want to be around when that happens.

"You made me feel the spark." She grabs my hand now. "Just so you know."

"I know."

"I need to get out of here. Is that all right?"

"I'll walk you out." I can't just let her walk away. I quickly pay the check and follow Lisa outside. It's another mild Los Angeles evening and I slip my fingers through hers on automatic pilot. As though it's a gesture I've performed all my life.

"Say hi to Jieun Lee for me."

"I'm surprised you haven't asked for an introduction yet." Lisa steps closer. "Also, I've been meaning to ask." She grins at me. "Are you still gay for Jisoo?"

I burst into a chuckle. "Only for you." One final time, I press my lips against hers, and kiss her in the blue-dark of the night.