By the Bonfire: The 'why' of existence.
Why did he exist?
To link the flame.
That was the sole purpose for which had been born.
Either in life or in undeath, the purpose remained the same. That was something that Ash knew.
Why were other humans born?
The reasons changed, but could be attributed to emotional reasons. Sometimes for love, sometimes out of cruel reasons and sometimes for similar purposes. To be used as tools, either in furthering kingdoms or to increase the power of individuals.
Ash did not pretend to understand those reasons, he had never given much thought to how humans were birthed and for what reason. He cared less about the circumstances behind their birth and more about what they would do after they were born, how they would live their lives and what sort of people they would be.
Yet recent events left him…troubled.
For the first time, he was now thinking of the whys.
And there was one name chief above all others.
Why was Mash born?
Try and he might, desperate as he had been to ignore the words of his mother, he could not.
She had seen something he had missed, something that he had been ignoring until now. The similarities had always been there, but he had never looked much into the reason. There had never been a reason to do so. He had just accepted that she was like him and never once considered as to why that would be cause for alarm.
A personal failing, perhaps.
Mash Kyrielight, Demi-Servant of Chaldea.
That had been how she introduced herself.
He never noticed how it held the same weight as 'Ash, Unkindled of Lothric.' it was more than a title. It was an announcement of existence. An entire person, everything they were, summed up in so few words and that was that.
He never noticed it.
Thought of it.
Why did he never think of it?
…Because he never considered it strange or unusual. He never thought it odd when he introduced himself such as that, so why would he ever have thought differently of another person introducing themselves in a similar fashion?
The thought that his mother was right, the notion that Chaldea had done exactly what had been done to him, the idea that they were making use of Mash in the same way that people had made use of him. As nothing more than a tool to be used and then discarded.
His mind was filled with disturbing images.
…Cruel as the Gods could be, humanity had long since proven to him that they could perform the same acts.
Hands clenched into fists, he balled them so tightly that he felt a brief pressure in his palms where his nails bit into the toughened skin and pierced into flesh. He was aware of something cold and oily sliding down his fingers. Pulling his head down and his hands up, he slowly uncurled his fingers to stare at the wounds on his palm. The slashes where he had forced his fingernails deep into his hands.
Once more, he was reminded of why he so deeply hated his mother and why he loved her.
Cursing her for making him aware of this, but thanking her for making him aware of this. It was a burning question that would not stop bubbling away in his gut or hissing in the back of his head until he received an answer.
Why did Mash exist?
…And why was she so much like him?
Questions upon questions mounted in him.
None of them held answers that he would like, even those he imagined to bring him comfort twisted away into further questions. It was as though every single thought was geared towards making his mind dive deeper and deeper into the logic that there was something terribly amiss.
His hands slowly lowered to his side, his eyes raised unblinkingly towards his mirror.
The shattered reflection stared back at him, having not been repaired since he destroyed it.
He rejected anyone who wanted to fix it, but allowed them to sweep away the rubbish.
He knew why he existed.
But he did not know why Mash existed.
And he was going to find out why.
With a sharp turn, he marched for the door and would have walked right through it if it had been a second slower on opening for him. He moved with such speed that he was very nearly out of earshot of the door when it slowly closed behind him.
There was one spot that was his first destination.
Libraries never appealed to him.
Phantom bookcases that sought to tear him apart at the joints to librarians doused in wax. He knew the sensation, and as soon as he was inside the room he could feel the pressure against his skin all over again.
The tight hold of hot wax against his flesh, the suffocating squeeze around his throat and nose.
Even the deep blackness of his eyes being fused shut.
The sensation lifted just as quickly as it had been upon him, his eyes twisted from point to point as he looked for wherever the girl would have been. Frowning deeper when he did not see her, but he paused for a brief moment when he made eye contact with another in the room that he would have liked to avoid.
He had done a good job of avoiding them until now.
His lip curled and he turned away-
"And to think they let you wander without a leash."
He stopped.
Then turned, jaw tightening as he stared at Sulyvahn from across the length of the room. The Caster was no longer looking at him, it had been a cursory glance at best, and was sitting in one of the chairs in the corner, reading through some manner of novel which he clearly found more interesting.
Not interesting enough to ignore him, Ash thought with a knot of irritation in his gut.
It would have been much better for him if the Caster had just kept his mouth shut and then they could have avoided all of this.
When he turned fully to face Sulyvahn, he did not fail to notice the way Sanura stiffened.
Yet the Lancer was clearly displeased to see him, even with her helmet concealing her face, the glower she was sending his way was rather potent. The heat of her glare radiated off her, combined with the low groan of her tightening knuckles around the shaft of her spear. He was sure that any moment now, he would have heard the crack of her teeth shattering against one another from being clenched too hard.
"There is good reason you are kept under watch."
"Hmmm." With a disinterested hum, Sulyvahn flipped over to the next page of his book.
There was seemingly nothing more he wanted to say, Ash turned away-
"So what is it like having your mother here?"
He froze.
"That must be enjoyable."
Ash was across the room with sword drawn, levelled in the face of Sulyvahn.
The Caster paused, then slowly looked up at the blade, his gaze remained on it for a few seconds before it climbed higher still, wooden features met Ash's blank gaze and his head inclined to the side.
"Or perhaps not?"
Sanura had made no move to stop him. He was sure that if he pushed the sword further just a bit more, he would drive it through the head of Sulyvahn without the Lancer doing anything. Maybe it was because she did not think she could stop him, or maybe she hated the Servant more than him.
…It did not matter.
He pulled the sword back and sheathed it away, looking down at Sulyvahn with a downturned lip before giving a single shake of the head and twisting away from him.
"As always, your visits are an amusing distraction."
He ignored the voice as he marched out of the room.
"Tell your uncle I said good morning, if you see him."
The amusement laced between the words made him scowl deeper. With a final glare over his shoulder, he turned and marched through the hallway once more.
Another prick on her finger made her wince a little, the brief flash of pain was quickly ignored as it was replaced with a resigned sigh.
Once more, she reached across to the small collection of wipes she had on hand and pulled out yet another, sweeping it over the small hole and dabbing up the blood before dumping it on the slowly growing pile.
When she had first started, she had not expected it to be quite as bad as this, but she was certain that she was making progress. It might have been because she was stubborn, but she wanted to see the process through to the very end. Even if it wasn't very good, or she had failed completely, she wanted it completed before she could accurately make a judgement either way.
Her head snapped up, another flinch and she managed to pull back her hand just before she could stab herself with the needle once again. The brief feeling of relief was quickly replaced as she turned her head up towards the door, the echo of the knocks lingered for a moment before she straightened.
"It's open!"
Her voice called out, the door parted a second later and revealed the tall figure in the doorway.
Mash straightened a little and blinked.
"Oh!" A smile came across her lips. "Hello, Quelaag-san!"
A grunt was the response from the woman, then she leaned forwards and looked left and right. A brief flicker of annoyance crossed her features, her head turned and gave a purposeful stare at the doorway before closing. Mash heard the huff as the Rider folded her arms and leaned back onto her lower torso.
Mash blinked, then felt a hint of discomfort.
Picking up the attempt at needling, she set it on the bed beside her and stood up, giving herself a quickly wipe down before pacing towards the door. She chided herself internally, failing to remember that the rooms of Chaldea were hardly suited for someone with the sort of…proportions as Quelaag.
She truly should have known better.
"I-"
"If you're going to apologise, don't." Quelaag saw through her within a fraction of a second, waving off her attempt at an apology with a wave of a hand and a shake of the head. "Nothing about this place screams spacious to me, and if you had room enough to allow someone like me to wander around…"
She trailed off with that same knowing look, a lopsided grin, as though she had heard something particularly funny but in more of a dry manner.
It did little to appease Mash's guilt.
Quelaag probably noticed that too, as the smile slowly faded away and was replaced with something a bit more tired. "...Look, you invited me to spend some time with you so that's enough. Besides, if it was a problem I would have brought it up before…"
She turned and looked into Mash's room, letting out a brief snort. "And I doubt there is much to do in there, unless you planned on spending all your time speaking with me."
Mash hadn't truly given it much thought.
She had not seen Quelaag since Rome and the impression she had been left with was rather unusual. There was something about the Rider that made her easy to speak with, not quite like with Senpai, but she felt that beneath the remarks and the faint smirk there was a part of her that truly cared.
Even if that wasn't the case, Mash had found her company pleasant enough.
"I…" She trailed off before she could get another word out, shaking her head from side to side and stepping out of the room. "I did not really think about it all that much-"
"Mmmmh."
Mash felt heat rise up her neck and cheeks, and she knew for a fact it was not coming off of the Rider, despite how warm the Servant actually was. It had rolled off her in waves, approaching the very limits of tolerance, like being stood just next to an oven without the door being open. One could feel the heat and it was left to the imagination just how warm it was inside.
She was reminded of Quelan.
And how he had needed the constant aid of Sir Percival to even walk around without being left in crippling agony.
Her eyes turned on Quelaag and looked at her, truly looked.
Mash found herself alarmed by the prospect that Quelaag was anything like her brother, but just better at hiding it.
"You've changed."
The words of Quelaag registered a moment later, Mash blinked and looked up into the face of the Rider, oddly enough, she was met with an amused grin.
"What do you mean?"
The smile only grew wider. "Used to be that you were talking about getting me a jumper and now you're ogling me so obviously. I'm not sure if I preferred you being shy or being confident, then again, who has ever heard of a shy knight?"
Mash knew the second those words registered with her, because that was the moment her face burned with heat. She was sure her skin had flushed bright red and would have been hot to the touch. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but all that fell out from between her lips was a series of incomprehensive noises.
Quelaag's smile only got wider.
"P-please don't tease me-!" Mash begged, but was surprised by how high her voice had jumped, cracking just a little as she spoke.
With a half shrug, the Rider made a face that said 'I'll consider it' without using the words.
At least until her eyes lowered down, then the amusement slowly faded away, replaced with a frown.
Mash managed to control her babbling long enough to notice the shift, but by the time she made to ask, Quelaag had launched her hands forwards and down. Mash let out a startled squeak as the Rider pulled upwards, both her hands clasped by the wrists and flipped them over.
Very nearly pulled onto her tiptoes, all she could do was stare with wide eyes at the face of Quelaag as her eyes jumped from her right hand to her left. The frown on her lips only managed to get deeper still as she looked.
The injuries, Mash realised, would still have been present.
The small red dots that lined her fingers where she had accidentally pricked herself while trying to sow.
"What sort of knight is clumsy enough to get all of these?" Came the brief scoff from Quelaag, her eyes fell upon Mash. "Honestly. You'd drop your shield with all of this…"
She felt something shoot through her, a flash of heat that was a bit intense, she winced at the sensation but it vanished before it could settle on her. Like swiping her hand across an open flame, the feeling had not lasted long enough to cause any pain, but left the impression.
Quelaag released her, Mash pulled her hands back and then flipped them over, staring at her palms with raised brows.
The small red dots were gone, the tiny pricks had melted back into smooth flesh.
Mash looked back up-
"Don't thank me for that." Quelaag knew what she was going to say, her face flat. "I was just covering for your little mistakes. I'm not in the business of turning into a healer and it's hardly something I'm all that good at in the first place…honestly. Forcing me into something like that, you should be thankful I was feeling charitable."
Mash listened to the words, but only smiled.
None of them sounded heated in the least, a bit empty.
"Thank you."
Quelaag's eye twitched. "What did I just…Tsk! Nevermind."
A grumble and a head turn, but the Rider said nothing more about it.
A silence fell between the two of them, then Quelaag thinned her lips and glanced back at her. "What do you normally do?"
Mash blinked slowly. "I…sometimes train. I read books."
Silence.
Quelaag let out a long and suffering sigh, one that made Mash feel a bit guilty.
So she added "Gwynevere-san has-"
"You're getting lessons in how to enjoy yourself from Gwynevere?" Quelaag looked almost sickened. "Of all the…First thing you need to understand about Gwynevere. She's an idiot."
Mash started. "That seems quite harsh-"
"I was being polite." Quelaag drawled. "...Look, Gwynevere's type of entertainment is highbrow. She's a court noble, not a down to earth sort. She's the type that would turn her nose up at the sort of stuff that would be actually entertaining around here. Given how closed off everything is…"
Mash furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"
"She's got you embroidering, right?"
"Yes-"
"Boring." Quelaag declared with a flat tone. "She'll have you curtsying before long and damned if I'm going to have you turned from a barely tolerable knight into some right and proper dullard like that mirror wielding oaf."
She reached forwards, then took Mash by the shoulders and spun her around, unable to do anything more than surrender to the hold, Mash found herself being guided forwards as the heavy tappings of Quelaag's many feet rang out behind her.
"If you want to get some real enjoyment…you've got to learn the ins and outs of the universal humour."
"Universal…humour?"
"Mmmmh."
Mash found herself slightly intrigued, but was content to go along with whatever Quelaag was talking about. Mainly because it would let her do something with the Rider that they would actually enjoy. Mash realised that she did not have all that many hobbies in the first place.
El-Melloi II had his work cut out for him.
From being summoned as a pseudo-Servant of all things to this, it seemed as though everything was going through the process of making his life difficult. It was stretching the upper limits of what he was capable of.
That being said, he was operating with only the facts as they had been presented through written reports.
He was capable of a few things, but being down on the ground during some of these encounters would have truly helped.
But what he was really intrigued, or worried about, was the presence of the otherwise elusive figure who had appeared through messengers even before the arrival of 'Gwyn'. Looking back through everything, there might even have been some early signs of their being in the Second Singularity.
That decimated town had gone without an answer.
Dark Wraiths, they were called. Monsters that consumed the souls of humans.
…They sounded eerily similar to Dead Apostles, but he could not be sure without meeting one for himself. That was very low down on his list of wishes.
No, this 'Lord Father' was a mysterious figure and could potentially mark themselves as another danger. One who had engineered an entire Singularity for the sole purpose of examining the Master capabilities of the Director. Someone who did something like that was rather concerning.
No, beyond concerning.
Why would someone do something like that?
It was wasteful, not at all what Solomon had been doing. Those Singularities had the purpose of disrupting history. Those were the end goals, the damage to history in this case was nothing more than bait to lure Chaldea there. The whole purpose had been to watch the Director and put her through her paces.
Olga Marie Animusphere.
…She was different yet similar to the girl he knew.
So many individuals of varying dangers and the girl was still standing strong, perhaps she might have been hard on herself, but he was looking through what he had been given and complied it all.
King Solomon, the King of Mages.
Seath, the dragon who invented Magic in the other world.
Gwyn, one of the first Gods and the one who ruled as their King, in the other world.
The Lord Father, an enigmatic figure who had yet to reveal themselves or their intentions. Worked through mediums thus far. They might have made an attempt during the Orleans singularity and slain the original holder of the Lord Vessel, but he did not know.
And then there was Aldia, the assumed identity of the Caster that had visited Fujimaru.
…Someone who could travel between timelines.
The very thought that there was a Caster who could wield the second magic was a terrifying prospect.
It was headache inducing.
So many individuals, all vying for their own objectives that may or may not collide with one another. A best case scenario would have been if Chaldea could somehow exploit the gaps between them, turn them against one another and weaken them enough to take advantage of the chaos and defeat them.
But that was exceedingly hopeful.
His brow twitched, his hand came up and rubbed at it, flicking away beads of sweat that had started to drip down it.
He was working too hard, but couldn't afford not to.
There were so many questions that needed answers, but there wasn't enough information.
A sigh slipped from between his lips, he sharply stood up and turned from the whiteboard in front of him. Twisting on his heels and then pacing towards the door and out of the room.
His fingers dipped into his pocket and rummaged around, pulling out his lighter and bringing a cigar into existence. Placing it against his lips and then holding the lighter up, flicking it on and igniting the tip of it. Pulling his hand away just as quickly and taking in a quick puff of air.
The relief came quickly, the clarity of mind he had been after.
A comfort, after staring at a board for so long.
He pulled the cigar out and exhaled, thin clouds of smoke drifted from his face and into the hallway.
He turned at the sound of approaching thuds, the distinct noise of heavy footsteps against the floor.
Analysed in his mind and an identity came to him.
Ash.
Just as he calculated, the blonde Avenger rounded the corner a moment later and stopped only briefly when they caught sight of him. Neither of them said a thing, then the blonde continued forwards with only a nod of the head as a form of acknowledgement.
"One moment."
Ash stopped and turned on him, face blank.
El-Melloi II lowered his cigar and frowned. "Have you given further thought to my question?"
"My answer remains the same." Ash responded to him. "None of the Arleno's I know of in my mind match the description or the personality of the one described by Olga. Nor am I aware of how he could have come into the possession of a coiled blade. As I said, they were not blessed with power in that sense."
He expected that answer.
But it made it no less exhausting to receive.
A sigh escaped him he reached up with his free hand and rubbed at his brow.
He was aware of the sensation of being watched, lowering his hand and realising that Ash was still looking at him, but with an expression that spoke of a desire to ask something but not sure where to start.
A face he had seen a great many times before.
So he waited.
"...You are a pseudo-Servant."
El-Melloi II hummed and nodded. "I am."
Ash rolled his jaw. "...How are you different from a Demi-Servant."
He froze.
That was not a question he had been expecting, and it was quite a trial to keep the deep seated frown all the way in his gut from bubbling right the way to the surface. It was a question that, at first, seemed rather innocent. Yet the answer to it was decidedly less so.
He was aware of the nature of the person in front of him.
And he knew of what transpired in London. Geared towards psychological attacks or not, his mental state was very fragile.
"...Why do you ask?"
"I have pondered it for some time." Ash replied, then inclined his head. "Mash fits the criteria of Pseudo-Servant. A human making use of the powers of a Servant, just as yourself. Just as the numerous others that Chaldea has encountered, or contracted. Yet she is afforded a different title, why?"
He could answer it innocuously.
"She's alive in this era, a person from this time." El-Melloi II gestured to himself. "I am not from this era, or not this specific date. I am not an original inhabitant of this world…just like yourself. That is the primary difference between a Demi-Servant and a Pseudo-Servant."
One of, he should have said.
Ash looked mollified with the answer, but narrowed his eyes after a moment. "...What more?"
El-Melloi II nearly sighed.
Because of course they were perceptive like that.
"From your tone of voice, you seem to have already determined that the answer I could give you would be far from ideal."
"She was supposed to receive the powers of a Heroic Spirit but did not until a certain time." Ash replied, likely paraphrasing from another conversation. "...Supposed to receive, but did not."
"...That is what I have heard, yes." El-Melloi II nodded his head, "It was not until the betrayal of Lev that the previously summoned Servant saw fit to allow Mash to access their abilities. Clearly he deemed the time right for her to do so, but I can only make assumptions as to why that was."
Ash grunted. "I know that."
Of course he did, he thought to himself. He already knew what sort of answer that Ash was looking for, but saying it aloud would breed contempt within the Servant and that was precisely the sort of thing that Chaldea was supposed to avoid. Yet it was clear the Avenger was coming to some manner of conclusion about what happened.
"...A Pseudo-Servant is aware of the circumstances of their summoning." He relented. "A Demi-Servant has no idea until they are summoned. That is to say, whomever was summoned into Mash had no idea what was transpiring until they were within her body. That would wrangle the pride of a great many Heroic Spirits."
Ash paused, then straightened. "They were trying to make use of a Servant's power."
"That is most likely what they were attempting, yes." El-Melloi agreed with a slow nod of the head. "Though they clearly underestimated the resolve of a Servant, who rejected the idea of their powers being used. Clearly it was only when the situation became dire enough that they actually decided to act without stealing autonomy from Mash."
He had not told a lie.
But he had not given the whole truth either, he could only speculate after all.
And as personally disgusted as he was with the very notion of a Demi-Servant, it was the project of a dead man. Dragging it up now and before the eyes of Olga Marie, who if she was anything like the girl he knew, would have been horrified of it, would achieve nothing more than unearthing old wounds.
"...Why?"
"Who can say?" He shrugged in response. "Maybe they wanted to see if it could be done, maybe they wanted power…or perhaps they just got bored one afternoon. Servants are exceedingly powerful familiars, you can see what a pseudo-Servant can do, but the conditions of those are very limited. Is it any wonder that someone would want to be able to make those whenever they wanted without the use of a Holy Grail or a Grail War?"
Ash grimaced, but said nothing.
Perceptive enough to understand what he was saying.
Then he gave a slow nod of the head, but El-Melloi II saw more than the average man.
"You still don't approve."
"...No."
"...Good." And that was without further detail. He was afraid how Ash would have reacted if he had more than the basic explanation.
Yet even still, there was something in the eyes of Ash that told him this was not going to be the end of the questions.
Ash thought of the explanation of El-Melloi.
It made sense, in a disturbing and cold manner.
Of course humans would have tried to inherit the souls of great warriors to make use of, it was not a practice he was unfamiliar with. Though the distaste of trying to vye for power was one that did not truly stick with him. Not as great as the other one, the one that was decidedly more ominous.
And that required the attention of someone that had known Mash the longest.
His pace had brought him all the way to the command room, entering rather swiftly and turning his eyes over the entire room.
The air changed the moment the people became aware of who exactly had just walked in. It felt heavier, a true sense of worry crept into the faces of the many humans who turned and stared back at him.
For a moment, not one of them moved.
Ash ignored them for the most part, his eyes turned to the one human in particular that he had business with.
"Roman." He called out to the man, then turned side on and raised his hand, pointing towards the door he had walked through. "I would speak with you in private."
The doctor looked back at him with a rather puzzled expression, not quite visibly aware of what was happening. Then he slowly raised a brow, but did rise up from the chair. Perhaps he would have made it a bit further had another voice not called out, drawing the attention of both Ash and the doctor.
"Why do you need him?"
A gruff and demanding tone, yet there was a note of unease in the words. An underlying sense of worry behind the confidence.
Ash turned his gaze and looked down at the man from across the room. Maxwell, he knew the name as. Married with children, he had heard further. His arm lowered back to his side, meeting the gaze of the man and looking at him without blinking for a length of time that was approaching uncomfortable.
"I need to ask him a question, then he will return."
"Maxwell, it's fine-"
"Why can't you ask him here?" Another voice, Kerry this time, cut Romani short before he could answer the man. The doctor turned on her with a strained look, lips rolled inwards. The girl continued onwards. "It can't be that bad."
Ash straightened. "Because I would ask him in private."
"But why-"
"It's fine." Romani blurted out, shooting to his feet and moving across the room with a rapid pace. Approaching Ash and moving past him towards the door, pausing just long enough to turn around and face the room. "I'll answer Ash's question and then be back in here in no time. That's it, right?"
He realised the doctor was speaking to him, he answered without words. Making an affirming grunt with the back of his throat, but not taking his eyes off the room.
They watched him now, more uneasy than before.
Perhaps London was not so easily forgotten.
…He was fine with that. It was earned.
Tearing his eyes from the room, he felt their stares on the back of his neck as he walked out with Romani, the door closing behind them the moment they stepped into the corridor. He could imagine them, as one, rising from their seats and rushing across the room to place their ears to the door just to try and catch a hint of the conversation.
Romani stood in front of him, exhaling and shaking his head from side to side.
There was a nervous twitch about the man, but Ash was sure it was not a result of anything he had done. The doctor raised his hands and pressed them on the back of his neck, groaning lowly as he rubbed them back and forth. "We might want to be quick, if we're gone for long then they're probably going to send someone out to find me."
"They don't trust me." Ash announced.
Romani winced, but did not deny it. "...They're just cautious."
"They're entitled to it." Ash stated, then frowned. "I am not here for that."
A slow nod of the head, the doctor lowered his hands. "I figured that was the case, so what do you need to talk about?"
"Mash."
The reaction was immediate.
Romani's expression went from nervous to blank in the span of a single second, his arms dropped down right to his sides and, for a split second, it looked as though the doctor got a little taller. Something about his posture changed, without a physical difference in the man.
"...Why?"
Ash noted the reaction, then continued on. "...She was supposed to house a Servant."
Romani's expression tightened and he nodded his head. "She was, yes. But the Servant did not fully manifest before the incident following Lev's sabotage. There was an attempt made, that was when the link was formed, but the Servant remained dormant after it."
"...Was she made to house the Servant?"
The expression of Romani remained eerily blank, it was one that he was not used to seeing on the face of the usually nervous man. He would have expected some manner of reaction at the words, yet he was greeted with stone silence.
He wondered if Romani would ever answer his question.
But that internal musing soon received an answer.
"Why do you ask that?"
Ash straightened. "...She's like Gawyn."
That time, Romani did flinch.
It was a small thing, perhaps the doctor was not even aware that he had done it in the first place, but he had done it all the same. But for Ash, it might as well have been a bellowing confirmation of what he had done.
A numbness swept through his body, he was unsure what expression he was making, but it must have been fearsome.
Romani's face turned translucent, a distinct paleness about it with sudden alertness in his eyes. Evidently he had become aware of his slip and the subsequent reaction from Ash. His tongue darted out, wetting his upper lip, then retreated back and the doctor shifted, briefly stammering for a reply.
"It isn't…"
"...It isn't what?"
Ash was surprised by how empty his voice was.
He searched for an emotion, any emotion, but found that none quite fit exactly what he was feeling at this moment.
"It was Marisbury's idea." Romani exhaled after a moment, glancing left and right, searching to see if anyone else was nearby. For a moment, Ash thought it was because he would have run for them for help, but instead the doctor stepped closer to him. His voice dropped low, a whisper that just about reached Ash's ears. "I did not arrive until after, same with Da Vinci."
…So they were not present for it?
That was…palatable.
Only just.
"Mash was…" Romani glanced down at his hands, his gloved fingers kneading one another as his breath came out in regular intervals. A calming nature, his tone changed into something colder. More clinical. "...I can give you the basic details, but it stays between us. You cannot tell Fujimaru about this."
Ash narrowed his eyes. "You expect me to-"
"It's Mash's choice."
That got him to stop speaking.
Romani met his gaze. "She doesn't want him to know."
"Fine." Ash snapped back, surprised by the sudden shift in own tone. The coldness was giving way to something hot. An unsettling burning in the back of his throat, where his words were coming from. "What happened?"
"The…experiment was designed to see if it could be achieved." Romani began slowly. "I can barely explain the science behind it but it is as bad as you're expecting it to be. Quite frankly…Leona was disgusted enough that she very nearly cut her contract with Chaldea on principle the very second she found out."
With a sigh, Romani shook his head. "Her relationship with the old Director…she didn't like him. Respected Chaldeas as an existence, but everything related to the Demi-Servant project was…it was a black mark and she never tolerated line of sight with the man because of that."
Ash nodded.
"The whole idea of a Demi-Servant is that it is the vessel in control and not the Servant…so-"
Ash twisted his expression. "So they were kept easily moldeable by design. Without a personality beyond the desire to do as they were commanded?"
Romani said nothing, but he did not need to. The doctor only nodded his head up and down.
"...And you?"
He exhaled. "I was assigned to Mash after I arrived, before then I had no idea what was going on in Chaldea. I don't know for certain what transpired, but I can say for certain that the Heroic Spirit did not agree with what Mash was and then rejected Chaldea. Going dormant until recently…I watched over the health of Mash in the aftermath and…"
Ash straightened, he looked at the doctor with some fresh understanding.
There was no denying that Mash was almost as bad as Gawyn, but if that was her current state, then he could only imagine what she had been like before.
"You…educated her."
Romani mustered up a tired smile. "I'll say that Da Vinci did most of the work on that front. I did what little that I could manage for her, bits and pieces to make her aware of what the world was like but she couldn't really leave Chaldeas so I had to bring in pieces for her. Da Vinci did a lot more, like I said."
But Romani did something.
At the same time, however.
It felt Ash conflicted with the realisation. Appeased slightly that they showed some disgust with the treatment of Mash, but all the same, it had transpired in the first place and of this facility, he could not believe it had been this Marisbury alone that knew of it-
He paused, then slowly straightened. "...Did Olga-"
"No."
Romani answered before he could even finish, the doctor looked him deep in the eyes and held a firmness in his tone that allowed for no other answer.
"The Director had no idea about Mash, not until she took on the role and even then…it had been kept secret enough that she was not immediately made aware of it. When she found out she was…"
He trailed off, for a moment, eyes closed.
"...The Director did not approve, does not approve."
That was…a relief.
He drew in a short breath and released it.
"...I see."
Approve, disapprove.
Right, wrong.
Words and nothing more.
Did he believe they looked down on such processes? Yes, he did.
But their disapproval clearly had its limits.
…For all the disgust, they still made use of them. Mash and himself both, regardless of their circumstances. Yet they had both offered their help because they knew no better. They knew no differently to what they were supposed to do.
Ash felt something lodge itself in his neck, he turned and walked.
He walked away from Romani and the command centre and further down the halls, he did not stop walking.
If the doctor tried to call out to him, Ash did not hear.
He just kept walking.
Where he was going, he didn't know and he couldn't say.
But he just walked.
Romani was worried for Ash.
Or about Ash, one of the two.
Perhaps both.
He knew the similarities and it was only a matter of time until they had been spotted, but he feared for what the outcome was. Perhaps this was one of the better ones out there, but that made it no less anxious for him.
Being told it was bad was just pointing out the obvious for him.
His return to the command centre after Ash let him go was relatively peaceful, but he wasn't so oblivious that he failed to notice the stares that locked onto him the second he moved into the room. The way the eyes of the rayshift crew lingered, searching him up and down for any sign of ill-treatment.
Romani could understand why they would be nervous.
But it did not make him feel more comfortable about them.
Sighing to himself, he lowered himself down into the seat and dragged it forwards, returning to the regular routine of staring at the computers and waiting for something to pop up and alert them of trouble.
A tense but tedious job.
It was great.
"I imagine the talk went well?"
Romani froze up on the spot at the voice that breathed into his ear, it took everything in his willpower not to violently leap away from it and shout out in terror. Perhaps he would have done that, if it didn't feel like his breath had gotten caught in his throat.
Eyes wide, his neck swivelled like a poorly oiled crank and he turned to his right.
Dark cloth and raised hood, Velka leaned against the desk with her fingers drumming along the metal. The black nails tapped up and down with a low pattern which was now impossible to not pay attention too.
The Goddess looked down at him with those golden eyes, a smile on those obsidian lips.
"You needn't look so tense there, young man. I'm just making sure that my grandson didn't treat you too roughly. I know how fragile humans can be, after all."
He rolled his jaw, finding the strength to say something. "...Can I help you?"
Velka angled her head. "How odd, usually it is the other way around…but I just stopped by after seeing where he was off to."
She did not answer his question in the least.
He steadied his heart as best he could, pulling his arms down to his side and keeping direct line of sight with the Goddess. "We're busy here so if you have a concern-"
"So what are you going to do about his worries?"
"...Excuse me?"
"Gawyn…Ash…whichever name he feels comfortable using." Velka continued on in an almost flippant tone, he caught a brow being raised under her hood as she peered down at him, golden orbs searching his every feature. It sent a shudder across his skin when she looked at him like that. "He knows now that his mother is nothing special now. But that's just proof of more problem…how will you convince him that it's not going to be repeated?"
Romani wasn't even sure he could convince Ash.
Mash wasn't the first attempt at a Demi-Servant, it was just that she was the only success of it.
"Shouldn't you be worried about him?" He spoke back, keeping his voice low. "Given what you did to him?"
Velka blinked and hummed. "...Well…You are not wrong. Though these two things are linked. Yet, I have no complaints with your treatment of the girl. The sin is acknowledged and you are doing your best to make amends…but you should not hold yourself so accountable for her existence."
She straightened up, stepping away from the desk and looming over him.
"It is not your sin to bare."
"...Yes it is." Was all he could say to that, turning his chair and looking back at the screen. "I swore to do no harm as a doctor. Every second Mash is out there, I fail. I failed the second the Servant within her bestowed her power. All I can do now is try and repair the damage that I've done…or make it less agonising."
Silence reigned between them.
He thought she might have something else to say.
Romani stiffened when he felt a hand lower itself onto his shoulder, but it was only a chaste touch at best, there was little pressure behind it.
Velka leaned down, he felt her voice against his skin as it dropped to a whisper.
"You might be guilty of many sins, but that girl is not one of them. Take responsibility for her if you must…but do not hold out your neck for the judge to swing upon."
Romani twitched and turned away. "And when asked how we're better than what happened to Ash, what do I say?"
"You're not." Velka bluntly remarked, he turned and looked up at her. "We're all living. We're all conscious of our own choices and we make them all the same. The sin falls to the one responsible, not the race they are born into. An individual - no matter how powerful - is not a race unto themselves."
Shrugging, she turned her head.
"He'll come around to understand that in time. This is just a lesson for him...let it simmer. Then he will come around to speak again, or he will act. Let the boy take responsibility for that one…I believe that you have your own worries."
She just vanished in the next moment.
Romani blinked and stared at the empty space.
"Mmmmh? Hey, R-man? Did you say something?" Kerry called across the room, Romani hesitated for a moment, then called back.
"Just speaking to myself."
"...Alright. Don't go crazy on us though."
He snorted. "I'll try."
Just when he thought it couldn't get stranger, he heard the door to the command room open behind him.
"Uhm, doctor!"
He blinked, then turned his head.
Mash was here?
Speak of the devil…apparently.
He spun in his chair and smiled at the young girl. "Hey, Mash. Was there something that you needed?"
It took him a moment to actually look at her and then he felt slightly puzzled by her actions. Her face was stiff, like someone had glued it in place. With wide eyes and a wooden smile, she marched forwards with long steps, in her hands was held a mug of something, it steamed so it was a hot drink of some sort.
"I came here to give something to you."
Romani furrowed his brows. "Why are you talking like that?"
"L-like what?" Mash quickly shot back, lone eye boring into him with a wild intensity. "I am always talking like this? There is nothing the matter with me. Are you just imagining things again, doctor?"
"...Uhhhhhh…"
Movement in the doorframe, it hadn't quite closed yet.
He angled his head and glanced just over Mash's shoulder towards it, and spotted someone leaning down through it. He squinted at the individual and found himself looking towards one of the newest additions to Chaldea.
Quelaag.
Who was making a face like she had sucked on a lemon, her right hand moved up to pinch her brows.
Romani looked back at Mash and stared at her, his eyes drawn to the rather large bead of sweat currently sailing down the side of her face. She was still looking at him with some eerie unblinking gaze.
"...G-guess I was…" He chuckled, though even his laughter was starting to match the tone of the girl.
Fragile and fake.
"I thought about how much you were working." Mash rattled off, looking down at the mug and then extending it towards him. "So I got you this nice hot chocolate. I hope you will enjoy it."
…She did something to the hot chocolate.
She definitely did something to the hot chocolate.
Romani sought out Quelaag once again.
The woman had some dead-eyed expression as she watched what had to be some sort of verbal trainwreck unfurl. Romani looked between the two of them for a couple of seconds before he leaned back and reached out towards the mug.
"Wow. Thank you. Mash. I really appreciate that."
And now Quelaag looked like she wanted to slap him.
What?
He was trying to humour Mash in what might have been some sort of prank.
Taking the mug, he stared down at the contents, the brown liquid, then he took a short sip of it.
…
"Mash."
"Y-yes, doctor?"
"...This is just coffee."
"G-got you."
"Yeah." Romani slumped, feeling his lip quiver as he tried to fight back the laughter that was forming in his gut, he turned his chair around and closed his eyes. Tears built up in the corner of them. "Y-you got me."
When he opened his eyes, the others in the room were looking at him with naked amusement.
Maxwell seemed to be the most amused, arms folded and a faint smile on his lips.
"I-I'm sorry, Quelaag-san!" Mash blurted out behind him, he heard her hurrying towards the door. "I couldn't do it! I thought about putting salt in the hot chocolate but that sounded really mean!"
"It's a…nevermind." Quelaag exhaled.
Romani was really trying not to wheeze.
"Come on. I'm going to replace the books in Gwyndolin's room with smut."
Kerry burst out laughing.
Romani allowed himself a brief chuckle, then he stopped and furrowed his brows.
Wait.
Didn't that mean that Mash would be helping here with that…?
His face blanked.
He slammed the mug down and tore out of his seat. "You're not taking Mash to do-!"
Romani stopped as he realised the two of them were still in the doorway, though now the spider woman looked far more smug than before, arms folded and wearing a lopsided smirk.
"See?" She rumbled with a hidden laugh. "That is how it's done."
Mash just made a small noise. "O-Oh. Wow, I nearly believed you myself."
"...Oh, I was being serious." Quelaag bluntly remarked, then leaned back and disappeared from view, though her voice still carried. "But I just wanted to say it here to see that guy panic. It was worth it."
Mash blinked again, then her cheeks lit up bright red. "W-wait, Quelaag-san! I don't think I should be there for that!"
Romani charged and rounded the corner. "She definitely shouldn't!"
Quelaag just shouted back at them. "You can come too then!"
"No!"
AN: Saw a little debate and figured I would answer.
As far as Ash's power ranking goes, at current he is equal in general strength to a Divine Spirit.
That being said, he can still die.
His resurrection only works if his spirit core remains intact.
You break that, then he's dead.
Dead, dead.
Anything else, like cutting him in half or splitting him down the middle or removing his head.
It won't work unless you actually break his spirit core.
As far as being overpowered goes…He's a bit tough for Part 1, yeah.
But at the same time, Part 1 from here on out is experiencing some changes.
So it all balances out.
Just thought I'd let people know that while Ash is strong, he is still capable of dying in the upcoming fights.