LISA

When I switch on my phone after the plane has landed at LAX, I have a voicemail from Jennie and a dozen missed calls from my brother. I listen to Jennie's message. I wish I could relish in the comfort of hearing her voice, but I know what she's going to say.

"Kai knows. It went pretty much as expected. He's shocked and hurt. Expect the worst." Her tone is resigned. A pause in her message. "I'd really like to see you. Call me, please."

I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I wish I could get on another plane as soon as I've gotten off this one, but it's time to face the music. It's time to face my brother.

I've barely exhaled when my phone starts buzzing in my hand. It's Kai. But this is not where I want to have this conversation.

With rising anxiety, I make my way out of the airport. Arriving home is usually a joyful occasion, and getting out of LAX something to do as quickly as possible, but I take my time. For once, I indulge in the LA traffic, grateful for the extra time it allows me. When I arrive at the house, all the cars are in the driveway. Everyone's home. Great.

The front door swings open as soon as I get out of the car. Mom hurtles toward me. Her eyes are puffy and her cheeks blotched red.

"You promised me, Lisa. You promised you wouldn't do this," she says. No chance of a welcome-home hug, then, even though I've been away a few weeks.

"I'm sorry." I drop my suitcase in the driveway. It suddenly feels too heavy. Everything does. Kai appears behind Mom. He glares at me but it's not his anger that stands out—it's his sadness. And I was perfectly able to predict this. I knew everyone would be mad at me and Kai would be hurt, but predicting it is not the same as living it. As standing here between the rubble, between the consequences of what I've done. I stole my brother's wife. There is no excuse. Jisoo can go on about how love is love all she wants, but this, my family's utter disappointment in me, might not be worth it.

"Can I talk to Lisa alone, Mom?" Kai says.

"Of course, darling."

Mom hurries into the house. I follow her, dragging my suitcase behind me. I close the door. Kai crashes onto the bottom step of the stairs in the hallway. Maybe I'm no longer welcome beyond this room. Maybe this house that has been my home for my entire life is now forbidden territory because it has no room for traitors.

"I just don't understand," Kai says. "When did all this happen? And how?"

I should have called Jennie on the way over, but I couldn't. I had to do this first. The whole point of going through this ordeal is so that I can talk to Jennie—be with her—as much as I want afterward.

"We didn't do it to hurt you, Kai. That's the very last thing either of us wanted." Awkwardly, I lean against the staircase. "I'm so sorry about this and if there was any other way, I'd—"

"Of course there's another way. The way in which you don't do this. That you don't sleep with my wife. That she doesn't leave me for you—for my fucking sister. It seems pretty damn straightforward to me."

"I'm not doing this for fun. This hurts me too. It's been tearing me apart for weeks. But I'm in love with her and she's in love with me and we want to be together."

Kai shakes his head. "Can't you just wait until it blows over? Because it will. This is just another one of your Lisa things where you just take what you can get, whatever it is you want because that's how it has always been. Maybe it's my fault, you know? I let you get away with everything, said you could be anything you wanted, that you could have whatever you wanted. Just for the record, that did not include my wife."

"I know this is painful and that you feel betrayed, but… none of this happened in some sort of magical vacuum, Kai. You and Jennie—"

"Oh no. You don't get to judge my marriage and use that as justification for what you've done. You simply don't get to do that. You did this. You and Jennie. I'm not going to be your absolution. If you want to be with her, and she wants to be with you, I guess I can't stop you, but know that I'm no longer your brother because I don't want someone like you as my sister." A tear rolls down his cheek. "She's my wife, Lisa. We've been married for ten years. We might have hit a rough patch, but that doesn't give you the right to swoop in, to make her feel better about herself for a minute, and have her believe she loves you now." He scoffs. "So, fuck you. I hope you're very happy together." His voice drips with venom. "Maybe you can have a bunch of babies together." He rises and without saying another word, walks up the stairs.

I sink onto the step Kai just left and let out all the tears I've been keeping at bay. I drop my forehead onto my knees and cry. It was always going to be like this, but to feel my brother's hatred and disdain for me as something palpable in the air, to see a wall going up between us that may very well be there for the rest of our lives, is not something I'm equipped to deal with.

Someone knocks on the door from the living room.

"Can I come in?" Mom asks.

"Yes," I say between loud sniffles.

"Oh, darling." She crashes down next to me and puts her arm around me. "Oh, god. What a mess."

"It was Nathan's fucking tequila," I whisper.

"What's that, darling?"

But I can't blame anyone else for what happened. Kai's right. Jennie and I did this.

"I have to ask." Mom squeezes my shoulder. "Do you really love her so much that you have to do this? That you have to rip this family apart?"

"Would I be doing it if I didn't?" I reply, loudly enough so she can hear. "Maybe there are no excuses for what we did, but, to us, it somehow makes perfect sense."

Mom sighs. "I really have no clue how I'm going to make this better. How this family is going to get past this."

"It's not on you to make things better, Mom."

"I will not have my children hate each other. I simply won't allow it."

"Kai's going to hate me for a good long while. Maybe forever." Tears stream down my cheeks again.

"He may surprise you. He's a lot more like your father than like me in that respect."

I'm not sure what she means by that exactly, but I'm too exhausted to ask. All I want to do is cry on her shoulder, but I'm not sure I can still do that.

She pulls me close. "Kai said he doesn't want you to stay here, but this is my house and you're my daughter. This is our house and your home. I need you to know that this will always be your home and I'm not kicking you out because your brother wants me to. Okay?"

"Thanks." My mother's kindness only makes me sob more. My family have always supported me in everything, Kai's right about that, and this is how I repay them? "I'm going to stay at Niki's for a while. I think it's for the best."

"Sure, darling." Her voice breaks and then the floodgates really open. The last time I witnessed my mother in this kind of pain was when my father died.