Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful feedback last chapter. I'm so glad you didn't murder me for it and actually really liked it. That makes me very happy because that chapter was so well thought out. A lot of people had a lot of different opinions on what should happen in this chapter. I knew what I was going to do from the beginning so some of the people with strong opinions might not be fond of how this goes down. You've got to stick with your own creative plan though, you know? Anyway, I hope you all like it. Please read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own Sherlock. The show is the baby of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, while Sherlock Holmes itself is the creation of Arthur Conan Doyle.

The First Time They Both Said Sorry

Anthea sat up with one eye closed, trying to adjust to the lights having been turned on in her living room. It was still daylight but all weekend Anthea had lay on the couch with the curtains drawn shut and the television on low. She blinked as the vision of her blonde best friend came into focus, hands firmly on her hips, engagement ring and wedding ring glistening from the bright lights. Anthea had forgotten that Jamie had a key from when she lived here for a while. When one is trying to hide from the world and anyone important it seems important to remember who has a key. Next time she'll change the locks. The look on Jamie's face was something between empathetic and downright angry.

"Alice Clarke." Her loud voice hurt Anthea's ears that had been hearing nothing but the lull of the telly and the whistle of the kettle all weekend. "You dumped the Ice Man over a week ago and you didn't even tell me?" She placed her left hand, the one with the rings, one her chest, above her heart. "What is wrong with you?" Anthea had one eyebrow raised as her brain caught up. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"How did you even find out?" She asked in quiet disbelief.

"James was worried about you, and since you weren't answering your phone," Ah yes, Anthea had felt bad about ignoring the millions of phone calls, and text messages… and social media messages. "I went straight to the other source." Anthea sat up a little straighter, her eyes widened.

"You went to Mycroft?" Anthea spat, heart racing ever so faintly faster, maybe a hint of a sense of betrayal running through her blood. Jamie pursed her lips and gave a single adamant nod.

"And you know what he said?" She folded her arms across her chest. "That you let a few harsh words from Charlotte Cunningham change your entire outlook on him." The betrayal was swapped out for a feeling of guilt and that pain Anthea had been avoiding since Friday began flooding back. "I can't believe that Anthea James, let alone Alice Clarke, let that stupid society page living cow win." Anthea looked down at her hands in her lap and breathed slowly and carefully.

"I know." She breathed.

"Did you take a crazy pill? Because first of all, I freak out if I haven't heard from you in a few days, and secondly you've been love sick for years and you give up like that?" Jamie almost laughed. Anthea blinked away the tears that began to build up.

"I know." It was quieter now.

Jamie opened her mouth to continue speaking but her hazel eyes softened and she shut her mouth. Her eyes were scanning Anthea. She was taking in her body language, her quiet demeanour, and certainly Jamie knew Alice trying not to cry when she saw it. So the blonde clicked her tongue.

"Oh, Ali." She cooed as she outstretched her arms. "No, it's okay. Look I'm here." She sat down on the couch and pulled Anthea into a hug. She rubbed Anthea's back with one hand and stroked her hair with another. Anthea let herself fall into the hug, placing her hands on Jamie's shoulder blades. She silently let just a few of those tears escape. Jamie's hugs were very good at stopping Anthea's tears. They'd helped her through her parents, after all.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you." Anthea breathed into Jamie's neck as they hugged. "I just – I couldn't." Jamie squeezed Anthea.

"Don't worry, don't listen to me." Jamie continued to coo. "I'm just mouthy." So she had talked to Mycroft. Anthea actually managed to laugh at that as she buried her face into Jamie's shoulder. "But I'm also your family, and I love you."

"I love you too." Anthea laughed. She pulled herself from the hug, a small sad smile on her face, and wiped a few tears out of her eyes. "So much. Even when you're shrill." Jamie flashed her a toothy grin.

Emotions were cooled and tears were dried away. Jamie had considered opening a bottle of wine but upon seeing her best friend she decided that perhaps coffee was a better idea. So the pair, with a large cup of strong coffee each sat together on the couch and talked. Well, Anthea talked. Having heard Mycroft's version of events Jamie had wanted to hear Anthea's given that she had more of what went down with Charlotte.

Having caught up Jamie was currently giving evils to negative space while taking a long sip of her coffee.

"She's pure evil, Ali." Jamie mumbled darkly. "Frosty could be, but he works for the good guys. That woman, that ice is corrosive." Anthea sniffed a noise she thought might be a laugh.

"It's not Charlotte's fault, Jamie." Anthea sighed. "Mycroft told her things, and I believed her twisted version. It's his for telling her things, and its mine for taking her word without even hearing his out." Jamie scoffed into her mug.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." Jamie rolled her eyes, putting the mug down on the coffee table. "You're allowed to act human. One of you has to." Anthea cracked a smile. "And Einstein. Well, he didn't say anything that bad and yeah, you should have listened to him." Anthea rolled her eyes and sighed. "Hey, hey, don't give me that." Jamie spoke firmly nodding at Anthea. "He said great things about you."

"He said horrible things about you." Anthea interrupted, levelling with her best friend. Jamie cocked her head to the side and shrugged.

"It wasn't that bad." Jamie twirled a blonde lock around her finger. "I am mouthy, I am shrill sometimes. He didn't call me an idiot and for Frosty I think that's a compliment." Anthea looked down at her coffee.

"Jamie, I." She stopped as her heart skipped a beat. "I think I broke him." She looked up and tucked a curl behind her ear. "Further I mean." Anthea paused and Jamie pursed her lips, listening carefully. "He accused me of not being capable of love and that hurt but I think he's right." Her inward breath was shaky. "The first incident and I take it out. I've never been in a long relationship except for Tim. What if I can't love?" Jamie scoffed, her nose in the air.

"That's stupid, Alice. You're so capable of love." She took hold of Anthea's hand in her own. "Look at me, and James, and how you're still nice to Tim. Let's not even start on how long you've been pining over Mycroft and doting over him way past your duties." Jamie gave Anthea the kindest smile the blonde could muster. "I'm not going to say you weren't stupid or that you didn't break Einstein, but this didn't happen because you aren't capable of love, this happened because you're both emotionally stilted." Anthea sniffed that almost laugh again and pulled a face at Jamie. The blonde grinned in return. Freeing her hand, Anthea rubbed her forehead and stared into nothingness.

"He almost said he…" Anthea trailed off.

"Of course he does."

The two pair of dark eyes lock onto each other.

"Did he say he did?"

"No." Jamie shrugged. "But one look at him tells you what a wreck he is right now." Anthea pulled her hands down her face and moaned.

"I don't know what to do." She sighed.

"Fix it." Jamie stated bluntly like it was extremely obvious. Anthea frowned at her and Jamie gave her a half smile. "You're his assistant, you're supposed to clean up after him. Clean up this mess. Fix him and fix yourself before one of you ends up dying."

"But I broke out trust."

"Fix it."

"And he just turns cold the moment anyone hurts him."

"Fix it."

"And I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't like the woman I consider my sister." That cause Jamie to snort.

"He likes me." She scrunched up her nose. Anthea quirked an eyebrow. "He does." She assured with a confidant nod of her head.

"Have you heard how you talk to each other?" Anthea laughed.

"He doesn't enjoy my company, but he likes me." Jamie explained. "I don't think I would have found a job in London if he didn't like me." She laughed. "Plus, think of all the times he's come to me with an issue with you? He trusts me up to some point. He trusted me to marry his favourite agent without getting in the way. He doesn't enjoy me, we get on each other's nerves, but he likes me. If he wants to call me names, let him. I don't care. If he didn't like me I wouldn't be 'Miss Monroe' I'd just be that blonde girl."

Jamie had a very good point. Anthea had never taken a moment to think about it that much, but it seemed correct. It was after the NDA that Jamie had turned against Mycroft, but before that, there was something of a friendly banter, and Jamie had been trying to be inclusive lately. And Mycroft actually turned up when Anthea and Jamie invited him to things, and that was a huge deal.

But Anthea had seen his face, had seen how hurt he was. She'd seen what her loss of trust had done to him and she didn't know if it was fixable. She didn't even know if their friendship was fixable.

"Ali." Jamie pulled Anthea out of her daydream. The blonde seemed very serious all of a sudden, all humour out of her hazel eyes and her mouth in a straight line. "In all seriousness, I've seen you after heaps of breakups. Besides Tim you've never been that sad about it. You always said there was someone better out there and someone special waiting for you. I agreed because that's what your best friend does. But Ali," Jamie scooted forward on the couch to look at Anthea dead in the eyes. "I've never seen you get so distraught over anyone but Mycroft Holmes, and that's because he fits with you. Plus look at him, you're never going to find anyone more special than a Holmes."

Fix it, Jamie had said. Fixing it was far easier said than done. It wasn't as simple as putting a band aid on the wound – not when you'd done as much damage as these two had done to each other. So much hurt in such a little time to make up for. Anthea was willing to take responsibility for creating a lot of it, but she still had her own hurt feelings that needed mending. She did want to fix it though. She wanted Mycroft back in her life, even as just her friend and boss. She couldn't stand the air that had developed between them or the way they could barely look at each other.

So Anthea decided to act on Jamie's words. Probably a lot slower than Jamie intended, but she still made a start.

The first thing Anthea did was she began sitting in the back of the town car once more. When she'd gotten back into her usual seat Mycroft had glanced her way, raised his eyebrows, and turned back to his phone seemingly surprised but hopefully a little satisfied. That alone removed some of the tension from being in the same limited amount of space together so often. Mycroft even asked her a question regarding a meeting on Tuesday and Anthea answered politely and professionally. It was still awkward, absolutely, but it was nice that they could talk about work again.

On Wednesday morning Anthea was running late. She stopped to get herself a coffee on the way to work and a thought came to her. Maybe that would be a good peace offering. So she did. Anthea bought herself and Mycroft a takeaway coffee. When she got to work she placed it on his desk. He didn't even shift from working, not even to look at the coffee. Anthea was halfway out when she heard Mycroft thank her.

"Thank you, Miss James." He hummed. It was his neutral tone, but it was something. Anthea nodded, though he'd only see the back of her head even if he looked up at her.

"My pleasure, sir." She managed to force some sort of reply out of her throat.

Friday was when the girl found herself aching in her chest again when she woke up. Instead of wallowing Anthea channelled that ache. She'd never missed a guy like this before, Jamie had told her, and that was true. It had to mean something. So Anthea channelled that energy into doing something about it. It was time to stop acting all quiet and polite. She had to let herself escape this mood and do something.

Halfway through Friday Anthea came to stand in front of Mycroft's desk. She folded her hands together behind her back and cleared her throat. Mycroft put his pen down and looked up. He looked slightly perturbed by the quirk of the eyebrow and the drawn down mouth. He didn't express his dislike at being interrupted verbally.

"Yes, Miss James?" Again completely neutral. Anthea took a moment to try and find her voice. It got lost the moment his steel eyes made contact with her dark orbs. Mycroft shifted to sit more upright in his chair, breaking Anthea free. She quickly glanced at the floor and cleared her throat again.

"Sir," She began. No, that wasn't right. Anthea closed her eyes and titled her head faintly to the right. She opened her eyes and tried again. "Mycroft," better. "I would like to address the awkwardness that is still between us." Mycroft let out a deep breath. He raised his left hand to rub his brow.

"Anthea, please." He moaned. "I am in no mood for another argument."

"And neither am I." Anthea stepped closer to the dark wood desk. "That's why I'm here." Mycroft lowered his hand back to the desk and looked up at Anthea once more. "I'm not happy, and according to sources neither are you."

A pause.

"Go on." Mycroft nodded.

"We need to salvage what we can."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Anthea looked at her feet again. She swallowed nothing. What did she propose they do? How does one go about fixing something so broken? Anthea bit her lip.

"Would you like to come over for morning tea tomorrow?" She shrugged. "To talk." Mycroft looked down at his file. The fifteen seconds of silence felt far more like fifteen minutes as he ran his tongue over his teeth. When he looked back up to her, Mycroft gave his assistant one of those fake half smiles he was an expert.

"Morning tea sounds lovely, Miss James." It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Anthea was inexplicably nervous the next morning. Far more nervous than she'd ever been before and somehow that just seemed absurd to her. She didn't dress up or over style herself, that's not what this was about. This was about fixing the issues, this was not to make a point. She needed to be herself, she needed to present Alice as she was. Band tee, tight trousers, and her hair curled just right.

When she opened the door to greet Mycroft neither of them said a work. The pair made eye contact and Anthea had lost all ability to speak again. Mycroft nodded once and Anthea through him a small smile. She stepped out of the way and gestured to the dining table where she already had a tea set and some food prepared. Mycroft took of his gloves and rested his umbrella against the frame of the front door. Anthea sat on one side of the table and Mycroft sat on the other.

Silence.

Five minutes of absolute silence as Anthea looked around the room and Mycroft stared at his hands folded in front of them. The awkwardness was suffocating. Someone had to say or do something soon. But how do you begin this? Going with her first instinct Anthea nodded towards her biscuits and sandwiches.

"You should eat something." Anthea spoke barely over a whisper. Mycroft met her eyes, then took a lingering look at Anthea's assortment of sandwiches. He flicked his hand, waving her off.

"I'm not hungry." He answered just as quietly. Anthea felt her mouth pull into a straight line.

"I made them for you, and I know you haven't been eating well." Anthea kept her tone as neutral as possible. She didn't want to come off as angry but she didn't want to sound venerable while talking about something as simple as food. "Eat something." Mycroft looked over to the wall and took a breath.

"Anthea."

"Eat. Please." She raised her eyebrows. Mycroft studied his assistant's face with no sigh of what was going through his head. Anthea added a lopsided smile onto her face, just in case it would help. It did. He sighed and took the small plate and a single quarter of a sandwich.

Then the silence fell again.

And it hurt. Hurt more than the silence ever did at work.

But what do you do?

Anthea ran her hands through her head, shaking it lightly. This is not what was supposed to happen.

"There is so much I want to say and so much I want to hear from you." She sounded breathless, simply tired by the whole thing. "I know we need to apologise for a lot but I have no idea where to start." Mycroft was watching Anthea again. Normally that would be okay, but now when she wanted him to talk, the man watching her and making silent judgements was excruciation. He pursed his lips and shifted positions.

"It seems to me," He hummed. "That perhaps the easiest solution would be to start from the most recent events and work our way backwards." Antea nodded.

"Okay." She nodded a few more times. "Okay, that could work." She sat up in her chair and pulled it closer to the table. "Backwards. Right." From the recent arguments and work back to the initial issue. Of course that was a great solution – it had come from a genius. But what was the most recent thing she could apologise for? Anthea sniffed and cracked a small smile. "I guess I'm sorry for behaving like a child and not delivering that cheque to your colleague." If she were someone else she might blush from embarrassment. Mycroft seemed faintly amused. "I let my ego get in the way of work." A small shift in Mycroft's expression, something between a sneer and a smile, was Anthea's indication that he'd barely even cared about it. It was Mycroft's turn.

"On the topic of egos," He began. "I apologise for dropping a large amount of your personal items on your desk unprompted. I was aware that you asking for your pathetic excuse for pyjamas back was some sort of test and instead of behaving like one should I decided to make something of a stand."

"I'm sorry I asked for them back so quickly anyway." Anthea sniffed. "Like you said, I wanted to see what you'd do. I didn't want them back." She swallowed her breath. "Not really…"

A pause.

Anthea cleared her throat.

"I'm so, so sorry for the horrible things I said to you, Mycroft." Anthea sighed as she tucked a curl behind her ears. "My list of things, that's not a thing. I don't think of you like that. I wanted to hurt you so badly I didn't think about how it might affect you." She felt a little bit like she was pleading to a judge, but for once Mycroft didn't look like a judge. His eyes were soft as he sat and listened to her. He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on his assistant's face.

"I'm sorry I accused you of being incapable of love." He opened his hands, palms held open. "We both know that is entirely untrue." Anthea felt her eyes begin to well up.

"Sorry for leaving you on the side of the road." Anthea's voice cracked.

"I'm sorry I let you leave." Mycroft scoffed, widening his eyes.

"Sorry for not giving you a chance to explain what happened."

"I am so sorry for leaving you alone with Charlotte." Anthea cracked up laughing, leaning back in her chair. Funny how laughing caused the tears to spill down her face.

"I'm sorry for that, too." She grinned as she wiped the falling tears carefully away from her eyes. Mycroft's facial expression softened. Anthea rubbed her arm. "Do you? Want to explain a little, I mean?" She shrugged with the shoulder of the arm that was free. "You absolutely don't have to." Mycroft's brow furrowed as he looked away from Anthea for a moment and Anthea thought he was going to turn her down, but he nodded.

"First of all, Jamie knows how I feel about her." He rolled his steely eyes. Anthea almost snorted as her smile grew. According to Jamie they loved to hate each other. According to Jamie, he liked her.

"Yeah," She laughed through the few tears that were still falling. "She does."

"And the story with Robert ends positively." Mycroft ignored Anthea's little amusement at the Jamie thing and went to the next point. "As you know I was thoughoughly surprised by his behaviour." Mycroft's eyes drifted over to his umbrella and then back to Anthea. "As for you…" Was that hesitation? From Mycroft Holmes? "When I said tedious, my dear, you have to understand this. What I would normally view as tedious – Wuthering Heights, humming rock songs, insisting on spending time with people, the emotions – with you I find it endearing." Anthea felt a hand constrict around her heart once more. "I was explaining that to Charlotte. I was explaining how strange this all is, or was. I would never say a negative comment to her, particularly given your past interactions with her." Anthea tried to blink away the tears again. She shook her head out of annoyance at the tears making her seem weak, and at herself.

"Now I feel like a real idiot." She huffed.

"Well," Mycroft lightly shrugged. "You were." How did he do it? How could he say something like that and just make Anthea crack up laughing? A week ago she'd have been offended. Maybe the healing had begun.

"Mycroft," Anthea leaned forward. "I am so sorry. We trust each other in life threatening situations. I should have trusted you." She rubbed her eyes with her right hand. "I broke us. I broke us because I didn't think you were capable of truly l-"

"it's okay, my dear." Mycroft cut her off with a wave of his slender hand. It had not gone amiss to Anthea on what work Mycroft had cut her off on. It caused a little twinge in her chest but that was the least of her issues. She should expect something like that right now. "You should trust me, yes. You know me better than that, but I am more than aware of your insecurities towards Miss Cunningham. I am aware of your tumultuous relationship and I should have predicted this outcome." Anthea tilted her head to the side and just took Mycroft in. Listening to him speak, listening to his speech pattern and the timbre of his voice as he tried to be kind and understand. This was why she'd fallen in love with Mycroft Holmes. He was so unique. So special. Anthea sniffed and wiped under her eyes again.

"I miss you." It fell out of her mouth without any real control from her body. "Not just as my boyfriend. I miss my other best friend."

A pause.

A flash in Mycroft's eyes.

He looked at his hands once more.

Was that the wrong thing to say?

"I can't sleep." He admitted bitterly and quietly. Anthea had to strain to hear him. "Do you know how pathetic that is? I can smell your scent in my room and it stops me sleeping." Mycroft pouted, his hands tightening their grip on each other. "I could change my sheets, but…" He trailed off. Anthea wanted so badly to reach out and place her hand on top of his, to help him relax.

"I want to fix this." She settle for admitting that. "I want to make it right between us again."

"How?" Mycroft asked. "Alice, we could barely look each other in the eye and my very presence seems to unsettle you."

"I know." Anthea nodded. "I know there's a lot of damage but if we can run a country we can patch up a few holes." Anthea laughed to herself as something crossed her mind. She smiled at Mycroft, who was watching her carefully. "Why don't we just go for a walk to the bookstore?" She asked. Mycroft smiled.

"That sounds like a wonderful suggestion."

Author's Note: Not back to normal, but it's a start. What do you think? Sheesh! Between this fic and the two things I wrote for my writing class this week I've done almost nothing but writing in my free time. It's been kind of fun actually. I hope you all at least enjoyed it. There is still a lot of hatred for Charlotte flowing in the comments, haha. Time to thank the guest reviewers. Thanks to; Sophie, Britta, MinaCarlyle, Mars, Guests x5, Tadaa, 4Eirlys, Anna, Nana, SwtPea, Wink, enola, Louise Pond, and even though she didn't review in time ovejalucifer because I know she's reading. Thanks to readers old and new for being awesome. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter.