Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks for the lovely reviews last chapter, it was really nice to see. I liked that chapter. I'm still slowly feeling better but you know, it'll take time. But! The show must go on! See, that's how you know I'm feeling better; I'm being theatrical. So I continued with the plan with this chapter. I'm nervous about this one but it should go down well. Please read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Clearly I don't own Sherlock. The show is the baby of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, while Sherlock Holmes itself is the creation of Arthur Conan Doyle.

The First Time She Had An Anxiety Attack

Anyone familiar with general anxiety or one of the many anxiety disorders are familiar with how it feels for overthinking to turn into a panic attack. Anthea wasn't prone to anxiety but she'd seen people have anxiety attacks before. Most notably Jamie during the final year of high school whenever she thought she wasn't prepared for a test or exam. She could see how the mind wouldn't focus on anything. She could see by the way Jamie rubbed at her chest that her breathing became restricted and hard. She knew that the heart began to beat fast and felt irregular. James tells a story of his first and only panic attack where it began hurting his heart and he began panicking more thinking there might be something wrong with his heart. He was living at home at the time and his mother talked him down. Jamie used to try and think about something else, anything else, just to be distracted but if it didn't hold her attention for long enough she'd snap back to it. Jamie lay on the floor of their bedroom staring at the ceiling the night before an in class essay once that she ended up doing better than Anthea in. Katie called Carol in tears an hour before her exam.

Anthea had never had what she considered a full blown panic attack. She had a few panic issues that were related to post traumatic stress of being kidnapped but she hardly called that an anxious thing. Maybe she was being too proud wearing the badge of anxiety free but she though kidnaping trauma cut her some slack. It was only around bleach and locked white tiled rooms. She'd overthink one or two things but not like that. She could do other things and think about other things in between. She spent hours stressing over Mycroft plenty of times but never to the point of feeling physical pain related to the heart and chest like that.

Until today, anyway. Well, to say it developed on this day alone would be a lie. She'd been thinking about it for a few days like normal, on and off, until last night when lying in bed it consumed her thoughts. By the morning it felt like her lungs were pulling into her chest and smashing into her heart, squeezing it as they constricted closer together.

What was the problem? The baby.

Not Mycroft and the baby like most might think, but just the baby. Anthea and the baby, more specifically. Whether or not Anthea could handle this. She wasn't made with all sorts of natural maternal instincts and she'd given up on the thought of a family quite some time ago. Just because she was feeling clucky and her friends had had babies she decided to keep what her partner had deemed a mistake? Ridiculous!

Now Anthea knew, she knew that she had thought long and hard about this and that she wanted this baby and she loved this baby. She knew she planned to do everything she could for it while still keeping her own identity too. However a panic attack doesn't allow you to think logically. It's like your brain erases any evidence you have in contrary to these doubts and fears. Yeah okay, Anthea may have spent extensive time thinking about what to do before deciding she wanted to the baby but had she really thought about it at all? She knew she loved the baby too much to not have it for the sake of Mycroft's weirdness but did she really know what she might be giving up? Yeah okay, she had prepared for the baby but Anthea was not even close to maternal. It didn't matter how good she was with Hope, it didn't matter that she had good role models to call and ask for help, she just wasn't made for this.

It was instinct mostly that told Anthea to get in the car and drive to Jamie's. Her thoughts were bubbling away and her chest was aching. It was a Saturday but she was home alone. Mycroft had a P-A-L-L meeting and calling him for advice or help over a panic attack would only leave him open for more scrutiny in a time when he was fighting to show he deserved his position. Uncle Rudy was still lurking around London, too. Anthea couldn't risk all that, work meant a lot to her too. She had no family here unless you count Sherlock but he was Mycroft's family and he would be no help even if he cared. But Jamie, Jamie could be counted on. Jamie was more than a best friend, she was a sister and one of those few people you meet in life that you know will be around forever. Anthea would never turn Jamie down if she turned up needing talk herself down from something or anything, and Jamie would be the same. So that's what Anthea did, she went to Jamie's house.

When no one came to the doorbell Anthea pressed it again. She waited a few minutes and then pressed it again. Finally the door opened. Even in her anxious state Anthea could crack a smile at the sight that greeted her. Jamie in nothing but a bathrobe, her hair in a towel, and still dripping with some water. The blonde looked very surprised to see Anthea but why wouldn't she be given that she clearly wasn't expecting anyone.

"Hey!" She said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you." Anthea cocked her head to the side and turned her smile apologetic. Jamie shrugged.

"James is out jogging. He took Hope in the stroller because it's like weight training or something stupid like that. I don't care, it means I can have a bath." Jamie rolled her hazel eyes.

"Do you want me to go?" Anthea pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at her car. Even though her heart was getting squeezed she didn't want to interrupt the busy mother on her break. The way Jamie looked at her, it was like she could read it off Anthea's face. Her eyes were full of concern.

"No! No! It's over now!" Jamie jumped out of the way of the door. "It's not like James doesn't regularly go jogging or running or whatever." She pointed inside. Anthea wanted to laugh because normally she would but she didn't. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Is Frosty okay?" Jamie asked in quick succession as Anthea walked past her.

"Um, no, yes, and yes." Anthea replied once she was firmly in the living room. Jamie's eyes widened. She shut walked over to Anthea and put her hands on her arms.

"Ali, are you okay?" She said so seriously that a single laugh did escape Anthea's mouth.

"I'm not dying, I just needed to talk to someone." Anthea breathed a shakily. Jamie calmed down a bit. She nodded silently for a good ten seconds.

"I better, um, comb out my hair before it gets stuck like this." Jamie began backing up towards a door. "I'll be right back. You'll be okay here?"

"Yes, go!" Anthea waved her off. She knew this was the right choice. Just being here watching Jamie be Jamie was a strong enough distraction that while her body still felt like a ball of potential energy ready to burst at least she could take breaths steadily again.

Jamie emerged with an easy sundress thrown on in haste and her hair only combed and not blow dried the way she might normally do.

"Okay, okay, okay! I'm here!" She came in out of breath and in a fluster. She was like a tiny hurricane. "What's the matter? What's going on? How can I help?"

"Nothing much," Anthea joked despite herself. She tucked a curl behind her ear. "Just doubting my choices and whether or not I can actually do this baby thing." Jamie fell quiet.

"Whoa, okay." She said in a deep voice.

"Yeah." Anthea widened her eyes in emphasis.

"No! Not like that!" Jamie reached out and touched Anthea's arm again. She took hold of it and dragged the brunette down to sit on the couch with her. "Like everyone goes through that, I'm just trying to work out how I can help."

"Everyone?" Anthea scoffed. "I'm sorry Jay, but you planned to have a baby. I accidentally got pregnant and decided I could keep it." Anthea looked up at the roof and shook her head. It was getting hard to breathe again.

"Lots of women and couples do that." Jamie assured her. Anthea wasn't hearing it.

"Women who live for work? Who are dedicated to a relationship with a man who doesn't want children? Women who hasn't even looked after a pet in their adult lives? I'm pretty sure most of those women and couples have siblings or pets and know how to look after another human being."

"You look after Mycroft." Jamie offered. Anthea scoffed again.

"He's not even human. He's a higher leve3l of existence alien who forgets to take migraine medication." She spat.

"You help look after Sherlock," Jamie put her hand on Anthea's knee. "You helped look after me when I first came to London. You're Hope's favourite person besides James and me. You're the one who found Thatch and found him a home." Jamie listed all these small things Anthea had done. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear Mary's confidence that Anthea and Mycroft could be parents someday. It squished a little bit of the anxiety. Just a little.

"But those were all temporary. It doesn't count." She said quietly.

"It's all practice." Jamie shrugged. "And you can always call me." She straightened up and squared off her shoulders. "I mean, I know it hasn't been a year yet but I've got this motherhood thing down to a fine science. I think I can handle helping with your baby while rocking as a parent with mine." Anthea really laughed. She felt it, it was a soul releasing laugh. Bless Jamie.

"I guess." Anthea scratched at the side of her neck. "But what about what Mycroft and I have?" She asked. Jamie said nothing, just watched and waited with patient hazel eyes. "I'm giving up so much for this baby."

"Myc's going to do the right thing-"

"But what if he doesn't?" Anthea cut Jamie off, coming closer to her. "What if he doesn't? What if a part of me learns to resent the baby for that? I can't do that. How horrible of a mother will I be then?" She said sombrely. Jamie smiled sweetly.

"Ali, the fact that you're worried about it means it won't happen." Jamie said. She sounded just like Anthea talking Mycroft down from his doubts and fears. It was strange hearing it used on her but oddly comforting like maybe it is the correct piece of advice after all. Anthea buried her hands in her face. She sighed into them then pulled them up through her hair and looked back at her best friend.

"I just really don't want to do wrong by this little person. I want them to be loved and have a great life and I don't know if Mycroft and I are capable of that." She put all her thoughts into a simple statement. Jamie, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, rolled her eyes and pulled a face.

"The great tag team?" She said. "Nah, you'll work it out. It might take a while but you've got it."

"Do you think?" Anthea asked. Jamie pulled another face.

"By the end of that month Mycroft will have it memorised how long a feeding takes and you'll be having competitions over who can get it to sleep quicker." She said, rolling her eyes again. Anthea laughed from the heart once more. Every time Jamie said something like that it was like a piece of that panic fluttered away. She was slowly feeling lighter. "And plus, you have what? Like a month or two months before the baby's here?"

"Six weeks." Anthea corrected her.

"These fears will be way gone by then. You'll be worried about real things like how you're going to live without sleep." Jamie said.

"I live with a Holmes, I already get limited sleep." Anthea muttered.

"See!" Jamie pointed at Anthea. "More practice!" Anthea laughed and another butterfly of panic flew away.

"When did you get so good at this?" Anthea asked.

"Experience." Jamie shrugged. "And that whole being an awesome mum thing."

"You and James must just think you're so cool together." Anthea smirked, shaking her head.

"Think?" Jamie pulled back. "Ah, we are." They both laughed. Anthea felt better again. "You know what will help calm you down?" Jamie jumped out of her seat. "Tea! Can I get you a tea?"

"As long as you drink it too and don't make yourself a coffee." Anthea growled in warning. Jamie grinned.

"I can do that! I'm still not drinking caffeine either." She said before prancing off into the kitchen.

While Jamie was in the kitchen Anthea was finally left alone with her thoughts again, except this time they weren't all bad. She actually felt better and it was nice. She found herself thinking way more about what a good friend Jamie was than any doubts. She was absolutely still unsure of herself but Jamie had convinced her that it was at least partially in her head. The advice Anthea had given Mycroft now applying to herself.

This silence, it had been excruciating at home alone but now it was okay. Was it just having another person around? Or was it having someone comforting around? If that was the case was Mycroft the reason Anthea had never freaked out about the baby like this since the early days of the pregnancy? Usually at work or at home with another person she trusted. Or was it that she spent so much time worrying about Mycroft that she only just started worrying about herself? Either way he was a good distraction just as Jamie was good help.

Jamie was probably right about the cup of tea, too. Now Anthea had finished completely panicking maybe the warm liquid would soothe her wracked nerves.

Oh.

Anthea's eyes widened and she grit her teeth together.

That was a strange feeling that just happened within Anthea. It was like a full balloon popped from having too much air blown into and suddenly releasing all its pressure back into the atmosphere. It felt like a sudden release. Like some of that potential energy had been still stored inside of her and suddenly popped in a combustion. Then, just as she was comprehending that feeling, a warm liquid settled on the couch underneath Anthea. She got up as fast as she could with the baby bump hindering her movement and looked down at the spot on the couch. It was wet, but she had been sitting there.

Ooh.

Anthea stared at the spot, her mouth agape.

The front door creaked open. Anthea turned around. James and the stroller had returned. The sweaty blond man was releasing his pet dog from his leash. Thatch happily wagged his tail at Anthea before going into the kitchen for a drink. Hope was asleep in the stroller.

"Hey there, beautiful! Didn't expect to see you!" The flushed agent smiled his big smile at Anthea as he stood up. The smile faltered a bit as he looked closer at Anthea. "What's with the long face?" He asked still in a chirpy voice. James had just asked Anthea a question and she had to figure out a way for her brain to actually answer him. She had to put what just happened into coherent words.

"My waters just broke." She said, a bit dazed and confused. Six weeks early, she was supposed to have more time. She looked at the wet spot on the couch. "O-on your couch." She turned back to James. His expression had fallen. He looked just as surprised as she did. "I was sitting there and my waters broke." Her brain was catching up now. James' brain, however, was now the one behind.

"Ah," He swallowed nothing. "Jamie!" James called out loudly. "Jamie!" He yelled again. Jamie popped her head into the room.

"Hey, hot stuff." She peeped. James ran his hand through his hair, the sweat causing it to stand up in unusual ways.

"Ali's waters just broke." He said choking on his words. Look at them; a top agent in the world and Mycroft's Holmes' assistant. They should be embarrassed of themselves for this behaviour. Jamie turned wide eyed to look at Anthea who nodded in return.

"Oh." The blonde woman said. "Oh!" Her brain was faster than the two people who worked in high stakes environments. She disappeared into the kitchen only to appear two seconds later with her handbag. She ran over to Anthea and took hold of her arm. "We need to go to the hospital." She said. Anthea looked at her. Now? There was supposed to be six weeks left. That's longer than a month! Anthea wasn't ready. More importantly was the baby ready? He or she was supposed to grow for six whole more weeks. It wasn't ready for the world. Anthea shook her head.

"It's too soon." Anthea said. She could hear the panic returning in her voice but her mind felt detached from her body so she couldn't feel the panic. Jamie shrugged dramatically.

"Six weeks isn't that early!" She scoffed, but her voice was high and unsure. Anthea looked down at her.

"You don't know that!" She said. Jamie pouted and shook her head. See she didn't know that.

"You're right, I don't," Jamie said, putting her hand on Anthea's arm again. "Just more reason to go to the hospital and talk to a doctor." A doctor, right, right. Anthea's mind slowly processed this. Yeah, a doctor would do what was best by the baby, by Anthea's baby. Anthea was scared for herself – this was too soon to be ready for the baby – but she loved the baby more and a hospital was the place to be right now. Of course this couldn't go to plan, of course something had to happen; the baby was a Holmes!

"Alright." Anthea agreed. She and Jamie nodded at each other and it felt more than an agreement to go to the hospital together. It was an unspoken bond and trust.

"Just let me get Hope ready." James said. Jamie's head whipped around to face her husband, blonde hair hitting her in the jaw and lips.

"Hope's not coming to the hospital. We're not having a ten month old baby at the hospital for what could be like forever." She said, looking appalled at the suggestion. "Stay here with her." She said. James almost began pouting as his brows furrowed.

"I want to be there." He argued.

"You can't." Jamie said.

"I love that family, too." He said, stepping forward. Jamie huffed a breath.

"Then get a babysitter as quick as you can and meet us there." She said, sounding flustered.

"Guys." Anthea reminded them that she was there and needed to go.

"I know, I know." Jamie tried to soothe.

"How am I supposed to do that?" James continued on the topic. "You usually do that and A's usually the first you ask." Jamie looked so much like Mycroft when he was asked a stupid question Anthea wouldn't be surprised if Jamie had channelled his spirit. She looked like she could murder James.

"Sweetie," Jamie hissed, "You have three sisters, two parents, a couple of friends, and a work wife. Use your phone and work it out!" James took back that step forward, moving back to his original spot.

"Sorry, sorry." He muttered. If Anthea wasn't frightened and in shock she might have done more than sniffed a silent laugh. Jamie shook her head fiercely.

"You're so lucky you're look hot when you've been working out." She pointed at James angrily. It was like whenever Anthea told Mycroft he was lucky she put up with him or that he was cute, or whenever he told Anthea she's lucky she's a good assistant. Mycroft… Mycroft! Flicking a switch, Jamie rubbed Anthea's arm and tried to pull her towards the door.

"Wait!" Anthea said, standing her ground. Jamie looked surprised and annoyed by the new interruption. "Mycroft." Was all Anthea had to say to explain herself. Jamie immediately changed to be understanding.

"I'll call him at the hospital." She said, pushing Anthea to the door. Anthea let herself be pushed by the smaller woman.

"But he has an important day today. He can't be interrupted." The meeting with P-A-L-L, he can't appear weak or with any priorities coming before work. He can't just put family or friends first again. It could be bad for him. Jamie opened the front door.

"Oh you bet he has an important day, and he'll be furious if he misses it." She said, urging Anthea out the door.

Author's Note: See why I was nervous? Ah, I hope you all enjoyed it! Do let me know. I get excited for reviews for some of the big chapters. Thanks to our guest reviewers last chapter; Guests x3, and Forensics. Thanks to all of you! Naturally the story won't be following the one chapter is a single event type thing for a bit, as happens with big events, this'll all take a few chapters. And I'm still taking an extra day for next chapter. Partially in case I have a few bad days and partially so I have time to research if I need to since we're onto something important. Let me know what you thought and see you in six days!