DISCLAIMER: Hawaii Five-0 and it's characters do not belong to me.
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"Grace?" Steve whispered gently.
The girl was hunched over by her dad's side, her head resting on the small space next to his torso while he slept. The slow rise and fall of Danny's chest comforted him but he didn't miss that the nasal cannula had been replaced with an oxygen mask. He tried to hide his frown as he focussed on Danny's daughter.
Grace's head shot up and she forced a small smile on her tear-streaked face.
"Uncle Steve," she said softly as she got up and reached towards him for a hug.
Steve squeezed the little girl in his arms. Tears stung his eyes. "You okay?" Steve croaked out as he gently brushed Grace's hair while she cried into his chest. He felt her nod against his body.
He hated himself for allowing the girl to feel such grief. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Grace."
She shifted in his hold, looking up at him. She shook her head slowly. "Are you okay, Uncle Steve?" She asked as her eyes glimpsed the white bandage that peeked out from his shirt sleeve.
He nodded. "I'm okay." He breathed, looking into her scared brown eyes. "Grace..I..I'm sorry I couldn't keep your dad safe. It's my fault that.."
"Uncle Steve.. it's not your fault. You always made sure Danno came home. That's what he always told me. That he would always come home because you will always have his back. Like this time too. You saved him."
He swallowed, struggling to keep the tears from brewing. He didn't deserve this. He was not the hero that Grace made him out to be. He caused this mess in the first place. Danny wouldn't even be here if it hadn't been for him. "Grace, I.."
"T'eve?" Grace and Steve both looked at Danny who was beginning to reach for his oxygen mask.
"Hey, hey, buddy. You have to leave that on." Steve said as he bent towards his partner. "I'm right here. We're right here."
Danny swallowed the dryness in his throat, obeying his friend's words if only because Steve sounded so worried. "Wh..t took you..so long?" He asked, voice muffled by the mask. "Wor..ied about..you."
He winced. The one with an almost fatal wound to his chest was Danny, yet, here he was worrying about him. He didn't deserve this. Not one bit. "Sorry, buddy. I'm sorry I took so long. But I'm here now."
Danny breathed, his chest rising excruciatingly. "u..Mei?"
"We got her, buddy. She won't be able to hurt you again. Everything's gonna be fine."
"Good..goo..d." Danny said. "You? Y..ou okay?"
"Ye..yeah."
"Sure?" Danny asked, his eyes drooping heavily.
"I'm fine, Danno. You need to stop worrying and rest, alright?"
"Gra..ce?"
"I'm here, Dad. You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, monkey. Don..don't worry." He breathed. "It lo..oks worse than.. it is."
Grace nodded, although she didn't believe a word he said. "I know you'll be okay, Danno."
"Prom..ise I'll be okay." Danny wheezed, his forehead creasing in pain.
"You in pain? Let me get the doctor." Steve asked, his worry peaking.
Danny shook his head slightly. "Jus..t tired."
"Alright, you rest, buddy. I know you love talking but no more, alright? Go to sleep."
"St..Stay with me?" Danny asked.
"Not going anywhere."
And that was the biggest lie he had told his friend because he had made up his mind. As soon as he knew Danny was going to be okay, he was leaving. He couldn't stay another second. He couldn't risk harming his best friend again. Freddie, his father, and Joe. There were enough casualties. He couldn't add Danny's name to the list. He just couldn't.
He held on to his partner's hand, squeezing it gently as he knew he didn't have much time left with Danny. "I love you, partner." He whispered gently.
...
"Not going anywhere." Steve had told him just a week ago. Yet a week later, those words held zero meaning. Because Steve was leaving. His best friend was leaving today.
He watched the waves crash against the beach with a soft, sorrowful rhythm, as though it knew that today was the day his world shattered.
He hadn't gotten more than an hour's sleep. He had tried to. But somehow he just couldn't. The thought of it being the last night that his partner would be on the island.. it filled him with sadness and it was frightening too.
He wished Steve wouldn't leave. That at the last minute, something would change his mind.
He had sat on their chairs for a while now. His friend's flight was scheduled sometime in the evening, in a few hours. In a few hours, he would be all alone, battling the biggest loss in his life.
He closed his eyes as the light footsteps he would recognise anywhere pit pat it's way towards him. The scent of his partner's cologne matched well with the salty fragrance of the ocean. He would always have that smell ingrained in his mind.
"Hey."
"Hey." He opened his eyes, hoping the tears wouldn't betray him.
"How're you feeling?" Steve asked.
"Depressed." He couldn't lie and he didn't want to either. He was depressed. But not because the nurse would no longer bring him the red jello. But because..
You're leaving me alone.
"What is it you're looking for?" He asked.
"Peace."
Peace. Who doesn't look for peace? Everyone is in pursuit of peace. Always, constantly. But the irony of it all, peace isn't something you find when you look for it.
"It's not goodbye forever."
"It had better not be a goodbye forever, why would you say that?"
He turned to his friend. Steve's face told him all he needed to know. Was this it? Really? The last time he would see his best friend in flesh. Was it forever...
"You got a phone right?"
Yeah.. it probably was goodbye forever. He stared out into the ocean, hoping the ache in his chest would disappear because frankly, it was suffocating him.
"Come here." Steve said.
"You gonna make me get up?" He deflected. If he didn't, his emotions would run loose.
"Yeah, come on get up."
He really didn't want to. He didn't want to get up. He didn't want a hug. Because it just made him one step closer to losing his friend for good. And he didn't want that. Should he get Steve to stay? Beg his partner for just another day?
Please.. just one more day, Steve.
Don't be an idiot, Danny. He needs this.
What about me? I need him.
You can't do this. You can't be selfish. It's time you accepted the fact that Steve is leaving.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He had to accept the truth. With a groan, he pushed himself up. Steve's arms were always warm, always made him feel safe. And as they hugged, he felt safe like he usually did. He never wanted this moment to pass. If the seconds could just freeze, if they could just stay that way. Tears built up in his eyes.
He was the first to pull away from the hug even though he really didn't want to. Because if he were to feel Steve's heart beat against his chest for a second longer, he wouldn't be able to let Steve go.
"Hey, I love you man."
He couldn't look at Steve. No, he just couldn't. He wasn't strong enough. So he looked at the sand. Tears clouding his vision and he prayed to god that those same tears remained hidden.
"Love you too." He hobbled back to his seat, sinking down on the chair.
Steve lingered next to him for a few seconds, as though to make sure he wouldn't crumble into a pathetic heap. He still couldn't look at his partner. This time he turned towards the sea. He was a coward maybe. One last opportunity to look at his partner and he couldn't do it.
He heard his partner take a deep breath. Then without another word, Steve left. He walked away. For good.
The waves continued to crash, over and over and over again. And those turbulent waves mirrored the state of his mind just so perfectly he thought.
He shut his eyes, the tears stung too much. His heart protested against his ribs as he tried his hardest to tame the sorrow he was feeling. How was he going to do this? He had no idea.
It wasn't long before he heard a commotion from inside the house. The team was here, he could tell. Even though Steve hadn't wanted them to make a big deal of it, there was no way any of them would have let him leave quietly...
He would head inside, except he knew there was no way he would survive it. He wouldn't survive watching his best friend say goodbye to the Ohana he had built and to the kids he had sort of adopted into his family. There was no way he would survive watching his partner walk out that front door that he might never come through again. He wouldn't survive the tears he knew everyone would shed and he wouldn't survive his own heart being shredded into pieces.
So he stayed there on that worn-out chair, listening to the waves and straining his ears to hear if Steve had left.
And then suddenly it was quiet. Too quiet. Even the wind seemed to cease for a moment and the waves stilled. That was when he knew. He just knew with every cell of his being. That his partner was really gone. And that was also the moment his fragile facade collapsed and the tears he could no longer hold in flowed relentlessly.
Goodbye, my friend.
He had no idea how long he had been sitting in that chair, staring out into the ocean with a silent prayer that Steve would be okay. That his partner would heal. He didn't dare ask for his friend to come home someday. Just that Steve would stop hurting. And maybe find the peace he was seeking. And maybe then, maybe then on some unexpected day, Steve would come home on his own. Come home to him...
The sun was beginning to set, it was quiet in the house and he guessed the team had all gone home. He hoped they had. And he was really grateful that no one had come to check on him. Because he didn't really want to see anyone at the moment if that person wasn't Steve.
He grabbed his phone. Miss you already, he typed and clicked send.
Slowly reaching out for his cane, he got up with excruciating effort. He walked back to the house, taking way more time than the short distance warranted. Sliding the door shut, he heard voices from the kitchen.
He sighed. Looks like he wasn't too lucky. Junior and Tani were still here.
"You alright, Danny?" Tani asked, appearing from the kitchen. It was difficult to be quiet with the cane constantly announcing his arrival wherever he went.
He cleared his throat that was too hoarse from crying on his own pathetic self by the beach. But looking at Tani's face, he could tell that she had had her fair share of cryfest too.
"I'm fine. Everyone else left?" He said as Tani hooked her arm around his. He didn't resist. Honestly, he needed the additional support. Between the ache in his heart from the heartbreak of his partner leaving and the actual pain radiating from his gunshot wound, he didn't think he could stay upright on his own much longer.
"Yeah a while ago." Junior answered.
"You must be tired. Let me help you up to your room." Tani said. 'Your' room, she had said. But it wasn't. It was Steve's room. Will always be.
"I'm okay. I want to sit here for a bit." He said.
He didn't think he could step into the room right now. Honestly, even being in the living room was a little too much. Steve's ghost lurked in every corner of the house. Everywhere he looked, memories of his partner assaulted him, oh so mercilessly. His heart was wrecked and only he knew just how not 'okay' he was.
He sank onto the couch, leaning his head back. Eddie instinctively jumped onto the couch, snuggling next to him. Gently, Eddie rested his head on his lap with a small whimper.
"You sure you're okay, sir?"
He looked at the Navy SEAL and nodded. "You guys can go on home. I'm fine."
"We're not leaving you alone, Danny." Tani said.
He breathed. "I get that you guys are worried about me. I get it. But I'm really okay. I'm fine." He sighed. "And I really just want to be alone tonight."
"Danny, co.."
"Please." He whispered. "I really.. just, please.."
Tani and Junior exchanged worried glances. He knew why they were concerned. They had every reason to be. If he could guess, he looked just as miserable as he felt. But he really didn't want to have anyone around. Because no one could help him in anyway. No one could heal that goddamn ache ripping through his chest. No one but Steve who was, with every ticking minute, growing further away from him.
"I'm okay. Besides, I've got my buddy right here. I'll call you if I need anything." He said as he carefully scratched Eddie's back.
"Promise?" Tani said.
He nodded as Tani bent down to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek, a sympathetic look on her face.
He forced a smile on his face. "Thank you. Get home safely."
He heaved a huge sigh as the front door shut close. "It's just you and me now, buddy... You alright?" He looked at the pitiful dog. "Me neither. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm so sorry.. I couldn't make him stay. But I promise I won't leave you, alright. We'll be okay, huh?"
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A/N: Hi there guys! First of all, I am glad there are still readers out there interested in this fic. Thank you for your reviews and likes. Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Take care everyone:)