Chapter 100, everybody! Look at that, three digits! And even better: concurrent updates on FFN and AO3 now. :D
Moving on...I think there was a couple of episodes in the OG series that focused on aliens so we're collecting those in one episode. Kind of. The Beheeyem and Elgyem are quoting the aliens from Calvin and Hobbes, by the way. Geodude, meanwhile, is referencing the exchange between Diogenes and Plato. Also a reference to the Petaybee series by Anne McCaffrey, and the Deoxys is referencing how Jumba's planet works from the Lilo and Stitch series.
In other news: thank you to Dragonkeeper10, LongNightDragon, BlastShooter87, 0ne Swood Guy, griffin blackwood, Horseman trash, kazikamikaze24, thor94, Cyan Quartz, Guest, Speed Reader, ChibiFoxAI, Urdeadnotbigsurprise, ThisIsStorm101 (oh it's coming), and Able and Table for the reviews! Thanks for sticking with this fic for so long. :)
0ne Swood Guy, thanks for the review! To answer your question, Haunter/Gengar was excited about getting hands and feet and wanted to have fun with these new limbs. Probably once the excitement wears off they'll start moving on to special moves, although I get the feeling that 1) there will probably be at least one battle they lose due to this focus and 2) I can see someone trying to close on Gengar only to get a punch to the face. XD Also my Gengar in Y had Power-Up Punch so that's another reason I included that one. ^^;
Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo
And now, for something completely different:
Hello, and once again thank you for flying Rayquaza Airlines. We know you have a lot of options out there, so thank you for choosing us. Please ignore the Deoxys on the wing, our pilots are aware of the situation and will handle it eventually.
The next town they found that was on the list Brock had printed out was by a bay, according to the tourist info—according to Misty it was more accurately called a fjord, wide where it met a bigger body of water but narrowing as it went inland.
Unfortunately, the alternate gym here was a bust too—except this time, it was because it had a closure notice on the door from the League itself.
"Probably they inspected it and found something lacking," Brock said, examining the poster. "Or the people involved tried taking Giovanni's space."
"If guys like Giovanni and Blaine are playing so hard to find, then why don't they revoke their gym status?" Misty asked. "I mean at this point if we ever do encounter that guy I'm giving him a what-for."
"Like I said, once you get proper gym status it takes a lot to revoke it," Brock said. "Under severest technicalities, Giovanni isn't refusing gym battles for the simple reason that people can't find him. Same with Blaine. And Koga, if we want to be technical."
"Meantime my stupid sisters are just giving the badges away," Misty grumbled, stalking off. "Come on then, we might as well get restocking out of the way."
"Misty's right though," Ash said, staring at the closed gym. "This is getting ridiculous—how is anyone supposed to challenge the League like this?"
"Some years they do just accept seven badges so they have enough for a tourney," Brock told him, following Misty. "The next one is still several months off, though, we've got time."
Glad Brock thought so—this was really starting to feel like a noose around his neck. If he couldn't get into the League after all their hard work…well to say that would suck mightily was a gross understatement.
Shake that off, run after Brock—they'd get this nailed down before it was all over with. He just had to have faith and positive thinking.
He hoped.
Outside of using a ferry across (which Ash shot down), the other alternative for crossing the fjord-wide river-whatever was a bridge further inland.
"Hopefully it's not another bike bridge situation," Ash said.
Said bridge was a good day's walk inland though, so when they found a decent campsite they parked it there for the rest of the afternoon with the intent to tackle the bridge the next day. And since the campsite was next to the water, all of Misty's Pokémon were able to get out.
"Ah, I've missed this," Horsea sighed, bobbing along.
"This is nice," Lenny agreed, humming as he swam along. "Hey, I wonder how deep this water is."
"Probably pretty deep," Horsea said. "I'm not trying for further out, though, that current might be too much for me."
"I'd rescue you."
Ash had showed them how to skip rocks earlier before being called over by Brock to puzzle over the papers that were dictating where they were going—most of the Pokémon were still practicing this, mostly for entertainment.
"Hey, does this count as Rock Throw?" Gengar asked, getting ready to toss another rock.
"I think the only ones here that learn that are me and Omastar," Geodude said, flicking another rock.
"And me," Onix called over.
"And you. Fling probably is the more accurate move."
"This would definitely be more in line with Fling," Drowzee agreed. "And more Pokémon learn it—Rock Throw is more for Rock Pokémon."
"Okay I hate saying that he's got a point but Darkrai has a point," Pikachu said, indicating the rock in his paw. "If I throw this then how is it not Rock Throw?"
"So nice hearing I'm right," Darkrai said, floating behind them. "Also yes, most of you here could learn Fling."
"Let me guess, I don't until I evolve," Patches said. "Dangit I gotta get a Moon Stone soon."
Pikachu debated on the wisdom of telling him about the one Ash had gotten from the Clefairy in Mt. Moon, decided against it for now—not that he distrusted everything Clefairy-related on principle, but…okay fine he distrusted everything Clefairy-related on principle the ones in Mt. Moon had been weird, okay?
And then something sailed overhead to land in the nearby woods.
"Should we check that out?" Gengar asked.
"I vote no," Drowzee said.
"Look worst-case scenario we have Frenzy," Squirtle said. "Also Lewis is heading that way."
"Wait LEWIS!" Pikachu yelped, running after him.
"Wait no," Drowzee yelped, running after the rest of them. "Does no one here have any self-preservation?" Came to a dead halt alongside the rest of them as they tried to process the thing before them, Lewis currently in Bulbasaur's vines to keep him from running up and touching it.
"Guys, I can't see," Zubat reminded them, currently clinging to Geodude. "What's going on?"
"Do you know what a flying saucer is?" Geodude asked her.
"No."
"Then maybe be glad you're not seeing this nonsense."
That was probably an accurate assessment, to be fair, especially when a little door opened and several Pokémon came out. Pikachu bristled when more than a few were Clefairy and Clefable, but it was a weird Machop-like thing with a hat and glowing fingers that floated forward and raised a paw.
"Take us to your supreme terrestrial potentate," it declared.
Everyone exchanged glances at that. "Do they mean our trainers?" Gengar hissed.
"Oh good grief—speaking."
"Ah, what luck!" the spokesalien said.
"It was I who selected this spot!" a little green thing declared, pumping its paws. "Three cheers for Navigator Akba!"
"Now wait a minute, who says you get to be the supreme whatever?" Pikachu demanded of Darkrai.
"Because I'm the Legendary, I get status privileges," Darkrai countered. "Also, you might want to absent yourself before the Men in Black get here."
"Shouldn't we ask why they're here?" Vee asked. "I feel like we should ask why they're here—hey why are you guys here?"
"Don't say 'to take the place over,' that stuff's old," Omastar said, waving a tentacle.
"We are with the Intergalactic Research Confederation," the lead alien said. "We have come to this planet to conduct biological and geological surveys. Would you say that this weather is natural for the area?"
"Er…yes?" Patches noised. "We're kind of passing through."
"Ah!" one of the Clefairy said. "On a migration? Do you make a habit of traveling? Is it related to weather or other external influence?"
"We're traveling with our trainers," Geodude said flatly.
"What are trainers?"
"They're like us but taller," Zubat offered.
"Not exactly like us," Vulpix corrected. "It's not like any of them have a tail."
"This is true," Squirtle said, considering this.
"I don't have a tail either, and I don't get one when I evolve," Geodude pointed out. "What, since they have four limbs like a Golem are we supposed to indicate them and go 'behold, a 'mon'?"
"Maybe they are Pokémon," Vee said, pondering.
"This seems to be a point of contention," one of the Clefable said.
"Make a note of that," the green alien said, tapping on a tablet it was holding.
"None of you seem to be the same species," the hatted-looking one said, indicating them. "Are you from different planets?"
"Er, no?" Pikachu noised.
"Don't commit to that, it could explain the bug," Darkrai pointed out.
"Okay fine yes in the case of Frenzy but we're all Pokémon and we come from Earth."
"Earth is how you refer to this location?" the Clefairy asked.
"How can you all be 'Pokémon' if you are so varied?" the green alien asked, raising a paw.
"Point of order," Darkrai said, paw up before pointing. "You two are Clefairy and Clefable, which are Pokémon. And unless I miss my guess, you two are Unovan 'mons."
"This is true," the hatted brown one said, nodding. "Some members of our species settled on planets that support life."
"Hey is this sector all right or what?" another thing asked, poking its head out. "We're wasting energy leaving the ship running."
"Yes you can turn the engines off."
"I think I saw that one in a movie once," Squirtle said, pointing.
"That would be a Deoxys," Darkrai said. "I'd be careful if I were you, last I heard Rayquaza's been making a habit to buzz Kanto."
"I will make a note of that," the Deoxys said, ducking in.
"Before we do—do you know if there are any dangerous flora or fauna in the area?" the green one asked. "Carnivorous creatures, large predators…ah," it noised as several of them pointed at Darkrai.
"It's called a 'food chain,'" Darkrai groused.
"So you eat them if they get out of line?" the green one asked.
"No," Pikachu said flatly.
"I don't know, he did eat my old boss," Drowzee said.
"And he had gotten out of line," Darkrai said. "So yes, I eat them if they misbehave. Next question."
"Will we be allowed to take samples?" the Clefairy asked.
"No," most of them said.
"Nuh-uh, I've seen enough alien movies, we're not doing any poking or prodding," Squirtle said, shaking his head.
"So no soil or plant samples?" the Clefairy asked.
Bulbasaur and Geodude exchanged glances.
"And on that happy note, I think we should head back to the camp," Bulbasaur said, Geodude picking Togepi up and floating after them—Bulbasaur collected Oddish with another vine. "Just so we're not an object of temptation."
"You can't be proposing that all the flora and terra is sentient," the Clefable said, wide-eyed.
"Start cross-referencing with that Petaybee planet," the Clefairy said, bouncing up and down.
"No it isn't, they just don't like needles," Darkrai told them.
"That one is covered in needles," the hatted one said, indicating Patches.
"Yeah, but it's different when I'm the one being poked," Patches said. "Hey, if you're space aliens then do you have Moon Stones? Those are supposed to come from outer space, right?"
"We do have samples from your lunar satellite," the hatted one mused. "But those are for the research society."
"Should I release the Minior now?" the Deoxys asked, sticking its head back out.
"Yes we want to scan the area," the green one said. "And you," it added, turning its attention to the rest of them. "Will you introduce us to these 'trainers'? We have a vested interest in studying the local fauna."
"I don't know what a fauna is," Vulpix said.
"I think it's like a deer Pokémon," Drowzee said, pondering this.
"Oh good grief—that way, no prodding, especially on the tall one, he's the cook," Darkrai said, pointing back at the camp. "And behave yourselves."
"So glad you added that last bit," Pikachu sighed, running to catch up with the excited aliens.
Ash and company were definitely baffled by the concept of aliens, although it probably said something that Ash's first instinct was to see if his Pokédex would register any of them.
"I guess it was too much to hope that this thing would recognize Pokémon from outer space," he sighed, frowning at the device.
"What does this device do?" the green thing asked, pointing.
"It's supposed to tell me about Pokémon—the moves they can use, what type they are, stuff like that."
"Oh, fascinating! May we use it?"
"Ash, having to replace that is going to be a big black mark on your trainer record," Brock said.
"Uhhh better not," Ash said. "Although I guess you could ask Professor Oak for one—he'd probably be excited at space alien researchers."
"Write that down," the Clefable told the Clefairy.
"Can we talk about the fact that these are actual talking Pokémon from outer space?" Misty asked. "Because that feels important and what is that," she squawked when something Togepi's size resembling a chunk of rock floated by.
"Oh those are our Minior scouts!" the hatted one said brightly. "I, Navigator Akba, and Pilot Solvan possess psychic capabilities, so when they return to the ship we can take their memories and feed it into our research station to examine further."
"Okay my next concern is that we're being studied."
"I wonder if this is how Pokémon feel when they're studied by professors," Brock mused.
"So you have professors that study the native species," the green one said.
"Yeah, like Professor Oak," Ash told them.
"We may have to prioritize visiting this professor," the hatted one said. "We'll need to establish what the native ethical practices for studying sentient species on this planet is."
"Is it going to be any different from the Intergalactic Research Confederation's list?" the Clefairy asked.
"Well you never know—has anyone on this planet discovered FTL travel yet?" the hatted one asked.
"I don't know what that is," Ash said.
"So that's probably a no," Darkrai said.
"FTL—faster than light travel," the hatted one explained.
"I mean there's Pokémon that know Teleport," Ash said, pondering this. "But uh…I don't know of any that've tried doing it like, off planet."
"A Pokémon with Teleport needs to know where it's going, so it's not going to go off-planet," Brock said.
"This is true," the green one said. "Individuals such as myself and Admiral Dora might know how to transport ourselves and others to different locations, but we've also had to have training to discourage this on ships in transit—it's tempting, but the ship isn't going to be in the place we visualize in the next second."
"Okay but what are you guys?" Misty asked, lifting Togepi away from the weird red 'mon's attention. "I know those two are a Clefable and Clefairy, but the rest of you are question marks."
"Do you mean species?" the hatted one asked. "Ah. I believe when we register ourselves down to terrestrial nomenclature, judging by how your language works, you would refer to myself as a Beheeyem, Navigator Akba as an Elgyem, and Pilot Solvan there as a Deoxys. Navigator Akba and I share a species line, as when she gains enough experience she will turn into something resembling myself."
"Regrettably my education and certification does not translate into physical experience," she sighed.
"What is this?" the Deoxys asked, pointing at Brock's cook pot.
"Well at some point we're going to call it dinner," Brock said, lifting the lid. "Doesn't that smell good?"
"My systems are registering the substance as pleasant, yes. Is that its purpose?"
"If all we were going to do was smell it, he'd have called it potpourri," Darkrai said. "Dinner is for eating."
The Deoxys looked all shades of disgusted—pointed angrily at the Elgyem. "What kind of planet did you have me navigate to!?"
"You're already aware that some species have to ingest their nutrients through a digestive system," the Beheeyem pointed out. "Researchers Fla and Adoy both require absorbing nutrients through this manner."
"Ghhh," the Deoxys noised, shuddering.
"Do Deoxys not eat?" Ash asked, baffled.
"We use a superior means of absorbing nutrients direct through the skin."
"It also means they have a fit when someone touches them," Darkrai told him.
"Well the next time you meet someone why don't you try tasting them and see how YOU like it?"
"I'd like to take a moment and explain to you the concept of the food chain and how it works around here."
"No eating aliens," Misty told him. "I don't want to be responsible for triggering a full-on invasion."
"Not without Will Smith and Ian Gold handy," Ash agreed.
"Do you often have issues with invasions?" the Beheeyem asked. "Are these individuals in charge of defending the planet?"
Which required spending the rest of the night explaining what movies were.