A/N Thank you to everyone who's read this far, special thanks to my reviewers and followers.:) Here's a question for y'all: How am I on pacing? Do you feel like the plot's moving a bit too slowly? It should be picking up again soon, but I'm pretty sure that I'll be rewriting this once this version is all written out.
"I know that I'm just a temporary guard, but isn't she just a child? She's fourteen! Do you really know what you're doing?" A man's voice shouts.
"I won't harm her more than she can take. The idea is to trigger repressed memories. The medicine in her food will help keep her calm, and make her more willing to talk about her troubles. Then, the real therapy can begin." The doctor says.
"And what is that going to be?! Tell her to jump off a cliff and see how long it takes to fall? Maybe it takes the same number of seconds as the years to some other traumatic event that maybe should just stay buried?" The outrage in the man's voice is very clear.
"If you cannot remain calm, then I'll find another guard. I do know, to an extent, what I'm doing. And I took an oath to do no harm. This has been proven to help people her age with similar stressors. An event cannot stay buried without causing some degree of continual mental anguish. Talking about repressed memories is proven to help, and this is proven to help retrieve repressed memories. Now, will you kindly get out of my way and let me do my job?"
The doctor's voice remains calm and collected. Gentle, even.
The man must do as he's told, because the next thing Azula feels is the stinging pain of flame. A familiar pain. Comforting. Safe. But oddly lonely.
"Azula, are you learning anything at that school I've sent you to?" Father demanded. Azula bowed her head in shame.
"Yes, Father. I'm learning. I have difficulty with some of the larger movements. The other kids are all bigger. I can't do the more powerful moves." She murmured.
"Azula, you will be clear and audible when you speak, is that understood?" He said. His hand cradles a flame, and Azula tenses, waiting for the inevitable blocking lesson.
"Yes, Father." She spoke louder and made sure to not slur the words, as she sometimes still did. She knew she had to speak like the older children now. Much was expected of her.
"A Fire Lord must always be clear and precise. What the Fire Lord decides is automatically correct, by divine right. But nobody will trust that decision if the Fire Lord mutters or appears uncertain. Weakness, indecision, anything less than absolute perfection will be seen as a reason to rebel. Fear is the only reliable way to control people, Azula. And if they think they can get out from under your thumb, they will certainly try. Your speech is very important to maintaining the standard of perfection. Of decisivness. Of strength." He rolled the fire around in his hands as he spoke, watching it with a look almost like he was calculating something even as he spoke to her.
Father was always thinking, always learning about his inferiors and enemies, always planning.
Azula wanted to be smart and strong like Father.
"I understand." She told him, again being carful to project her voice, make it bigger than it would be.
"Now, Azula, show me again what you learned in school today."
He threw the flame at her so fast that she almost didn't see it.
She jumped out of the way and fired back a blast strong enough to burn the tree behind him, although he dodged out of the way.
"Really, Azula, you behave like an Airbender." The disdain in her father's voice was very clear. "There is a reason they're extinct. Do you want to be like them?!" He fired a larger blast, too large to dodge. Azula cried out as it hit her in the stomach, sending her tumbling back and singeing her underneath her tunic.
"I'm no Airbender!" She screamed, getting up and throwing several volleys of bright orange fire.
Her father easily blocked it, firing several more smaller flames of his own.
Azula couldn't help dodging some, but she began giving as good as she got.
"Now, try some more advanced techniques. Try this!" Her father leaped into the air, completing a series of blasts in different directions. It looked almost like he was dancing. It was a powerful, dangerous dance, but to Azula, it was the most graceful thing she'd ever seen.
She attempted to copy his movements. But at a mere six years old, she lacked the balance for most of the landings. Her flames were impressive, but her movements were still sloppy and her leaps still uncoordinated.
Her stomach muscles were beginning to hurt from all the practice she'd been doing, and her skin itched and burned across her stomach and chest when her tattered uniform blew over it as she moved.
"Azula, you must learn these sets. Do you really think the majority of your battles will be against one inferior enemy? The Earth Kingdom has far more bodies to throw at our forces. And they are certainly not at our level, but their numbers are something that will set you back if you don't learn how to fight multiple opponents."
"Yes, Father. I'll learn everything that I can."
"No. You will learn everything. Everything."
"Yes, Father. I'll do as you say."
"You were bending fire at four years old, Daughter. Those students at your school are older right now, because they are inferior to you. I want you to learn quickly. By the time you are ten years old, I want you to be teaching the teachers. Do you understand?"
"I understand."
"Will you require any further training on those basic sets from school?" His tone took on it's characteristic sneer once more.
"No, Father. I'll have them mastered by the end of the week." She promised.
"See to it that you've mastered them by our next session tomorrow. There will be a test." He turned to leave.
"Yes Father." She hoped he heard her. It didn't look as though he had.
"Princess? Azula?! What did they do to you?!" Chey's voice rouses her from whatever state of unreality she'd just been in.
"What happened?" She asks, opening her eyes. The memory of her temporary guard's voice protesting her "treatment" comes back to her.
"They burned me! They burned me like Father burned Zuko! They think I'm useless, don't they! How dare they?! I'm the heir to the throne! How dare they?!" She rages. She realizes as she tries to move that her straight jacket has been put back on. The burns chaf underneath it.
"Princess! Please! Calm down! Please! You'll hurt yourself!" Chey begs.
With great effort, Azula forces herself to sit and simmer in silent fury.
"The doctor wants to see you later today." Chey says. "Do you want to talk about what happened before we go? I'll listen." He reaches for her shoulder and she recoils like a wounded animal.
Why did you do that? You're weak! Father will be so ashamed if he hears of this! She thinks to herself.
But, she realizes that she does want to talk. And if Chey's back, then this must be at least a day after the burning, so she can't have eaten any medicine to make her feel this way...
"Alright. I think I can talk a little." She says, making her voice quieter and soft.
Chey sits beside her, keeping his hand off this time.
"It all started when Zuko began to Firebend. I'd honestly given up on him ever learning. I think everyone did. I was resigned to the humiliation of having a nonBender brother, but..."
"When he did learn, things didn't get better, did they?" He asks gently.
Azula turns away. It's suddenly not so hard for her to sound hurt and betrayed. The change in difficulty level
is...confusing. Disconcerting.
"No." She says. "They didn't."
"Azula! Azula! Watch this!" Zuko shouted. Azula turned around, expecting to see a dumb drawing, or Zuko in a tree, or maybe trying to slash the air with his silly swords again. She wondered vaguely when he would figure out that he just wasn't good at anything and should just stop being a distraction and getting in the way of people who actually had a function in life.
Instead, she saw something that absolutely terrified her, although she didn't know why.
In Zuko's hands, there was a tiny flame. His first tiny flame.
"So?" She grouched, shrugging a little. "What exactly can you do with it?"
"This!" He proceeded to roll the flame back and forth in his hands, and toss it in the air a little, like a ball.
Azula smirked as she realized that he had no idea what he was doing.
"That's nice, Zuzu. Can you do this?" She leaped up, the way Father had shown her, throwing three quick, efficient bursts of flame, landing gracefully. She flew up again and aimed a shower of bright, but relatively harmless sparks at the turtleduck pond.
"Azula! You're hurting them!" Zuko yelled, as she landed the second time. A bunch of panicked squeaks from the turleducks punctuated his words.
"They were in the way." Azula shrugged. "So, can you do any of that?"
His eyes flickered between her and the still squeaking turtleducks. When his gaze settled on her fully again, he slowly shook his head. He tried again to bring a flame to his hand, and it didn't appear.
A rush of relief and a contented feeling filled Azula and warmed her to the core. Zuko still couldn't Firebend.
"See? Father still doesn't have any use for you. You're still pathetic and weak. You're still worthless. You're still you." She laughed.
"What is going on here?" Mother's voice rang through the courtyard.
Zuko lunged in her direction.
"Mother! I Firebent! I did it!" He exclaimed proudly.
"Show me!" She replied, eagerly.
Azula watched as he tried his hardest to summon flame. His hands smoked a little. Then, he glanced in her direction, and all the heat went away. He stared at the ground, disappointed and defeated.
"I did do it." He murmured. "I did. Azula even showed me her Bending."
Mother's gaze drifted to Azula. Azula smiled innocently. Mother glared at her.
"Is there something wrong with me, Mother?" Zuko asked.
"No. Absolutely not! You're just taking a little longer to learn. That means you'll learn more thoroughly. By the time you're Fire Lord, you'll be the best Firebender in the world! Why, I even bet you'll be so good, you could train the Avatar!" Mother answered. She pulled him in for a hug, gently rubbing the back of his head.
Azula felt a scowl take over her face. The Avatar was gone! And only the very best Bender could teach him in any case! Zuko would never have been good enough! Why did Mother not think Azula was worth the time of day?
Mother noticed her glare and mouthed, "We'll talk later." to her.
"No," Azula responded out loud. Her voice filled with hatred, but her face twisted into a smirk. "We won't!"
She relished the look of fear on Mother's face as she raised her hand.
"Azula! No!" Mother shouted. She wrapped herself around Zuko, just as Azula's flames reached her back.
Her scream is what brought Father out of his private library, which had a door adjoining the courtyard.
"Do you regret it now? Burning your mother?" Chey asks. Azula notices the fear in his voice, even though his face remains sympathetic.
Excellent. Azula thinks to herself. Just where I want you.
"Not really. She'd made up her mind by then that I just wasn't worth her time. If she didn't want me, then I didn't want her. I thought Zuko might still be somewhat useful to me later, so I wanted to make sure he knew who was in control." She makes her tone nonchalant, indifferent. A direct contrast to the vulnerability that she'd been trying to fake before.
"Or maybe, she hurt your feelings. Your Father was one of your teachers, but it seems like he was too busy to spend much time with you outside of your lessons. Your mother's rejection of you clearly hurts you." Chey reaches a hand to her shoulder.
Azula grits her teeth in an effort not to jerk away from him.
"Well, I guess there is that too. But it was what Father did after that day that really bothered me." She says, her tone annoyed.
"And what was that?" Chey asks.
"You should be fine in a few weeks, Your Highness." The nurse said, as she carefully bandaged Mother's burned back.
"Thank you." Mother murmured quietly. The story that had been told was that she'd fallen backward into one of the many fireplaces in the service areas of the Palace while trying to help the kitchen maids carry some things. Since her habit of trying to help was well known, much to Father's contempt, it seemed a believable enough story.
Father left the room, steering Azula out ahead of him. He made her stand straight up against the wall, at attention like a soldier.
"Azula, your brother has displayed an ability to Firebend this morning in the throne room. And while it wasn't very impressive, it was enough to raise the question: Will he become better than you?"
Azula felt her heart stop. She supposed that her display in the courtyard hadn't discouraged him as much as she'd thought. Zuko could still Firebend. An interesting development.
"He can't. You said so before! Even if he can Firebend, he's started so late that he'll never catch up!" She answered with a confident smile. More confident than she felt. Just like Father taught her.
"That may be, but you realize that you'll need to work twice as hard to stay ahead now, don't you?" He pressed. He leaned in a little closer, and Azula felt trapped between his intent eyes and the wall behind her.
"I will, Father. I promise. May I still go with you to Ba Sing Se?" She had to strain to keep the pleading from her voice. The answer would be a firm "no" if she showed any vulnerability. She knew from experience.
"You may. But now, I have something else to teach you. I want you to begin studying people. Learn about them. Find out what they're afraid of. Report what you find back to me. And I'll begin your new lessons from there."
"What about my Firebending? Zuzu can't catch up!"
"Are you worried that he will, Azula? Do I have reason to believe that he will?" His tone is almost curious.
"No! But you just said that I have to work twice as hard now." She pointed out.
"Your Firebending is coming along well. You no longer need my help. Practice in your spare time. Find plenty of moving targets. I believe we have a fairly lengthy list of wanted petty thieves. You could refer to that for practice. But now, I want you to focus on learning how to use your human resources. I want you to focus on your strategy. You want to be the Fire Lord, don't you? You know how to rule in the open. What happened with your mother proves that. But to be truly effective, you must also learn how to rule in shadow."
"Yes, Father."
"Then that's settled. Now, how would you like to see your brother's reaction to finding out that his mother is alright? It should be quite...amusing."
"Yes, Father."
"So, your father basically threatened you with a demotion if your brother proved better than you? No wonder you've been so angry! You had to be absolutely perfect! That alone must have driven you mad!" Chey exclaims.
"I'm not insane!" Azula shrieks.
"I'm sorry, Princess. That wasn't what I meant at all." Chey looks properly remorseful.
"Then, what did you mean, Chey?" She asks, threateningly.
"Just that you must have been under so much pressure. And how old were you when this happened? Eight?! Did you actually hunt grown men down at night?!" He sounds outraged.
"Of course I did. That was the most fun I'd ever had in my life. The ways they begged for mercy, how I would burn their wrists before binding them. They were criminals. It's not like anyone would care. I could do whatever I wanted to them and nobody would lift a finger. And Mother was always trying to make me go to bed at a decent hour. So it was always fun to see her get flustered." Azula stands and heads for the door, waiting for Chey to open it.
"Sometimes, you still worry me, Princess." Chey says as he opens the door and walks with her to the doctor's office.
"That is why we're still friends." She replies lightly.
A/N So, I just rewatched "The Deserter", and for any who may be wondering, I'd completely forgotten that there was already a Chey in the series! *face palm*. So, for any who may be wondering, our Chey is a different one. Our Chey is a bit brighter, and still technically a part of the Fire Nation military. Just wanted to clarify! :)