Chapter 35 : Zuko
"Are you sure you don't want a turn riding?" Hua asks again.
"I'm fine. It's only another few days."
"But you've walked nearly a hundred miles!" She protests.
"And I'll walk the remaining two hundred. It's not impossible. I've done it before." He fishes some jerky out of a saddlebag to nibble on.
Hua takes a giant gulp of water from her waterskin. By the sound of the sloshing inside, there isn't much left.
"Just a few miles! You need a break! And besides, I'm sore from all the riding. My legs aren't used to this!" She reaches to massage her leg as she speaks.
"You're almost out of water. The less physical work you do, the less you'll have to drink. And it'll hurt more to walk anyway." He passes her his waterskin, hoping she'll pour some into her own. She just holds it though.
"How are you not dying right now?" She asks, insistent.
"I'm used to just going on until I get to wherever I need to be." He shrugs. "It doesn't matter if I'm walking, riding, flying. I get there. Rain or shine, snow or an ocean in the way. You just keep going until there's no reason to keep moving."
"You really journeyed through the whole Earth Kingdom?"
"Yeah. I didn't walk the whole way though. I had an ostrich horse for some of it."
She gulps more water from her waterskin.
"Use mine, Hua. You're going to need it." He stops and looks at her.
"You need water too. You're walking a lot."
"It's cool enough out. I'm fine."
"I wouldn't be?" She crosses her arms and glowers.
"You're just starting to Firebend. Your body is working to adjust to the new workload. Think of it as another growth spurt. It's also part of the reason you're so sore. You might be running a light fever. And you're far more likely to get dehydrated than I am until your body adjusts." He takes the waterskins from her and pours the rest of his into hers and hands it back.
"Why does it do that? It's not like I have more fire in me than anyone else."
"It's because when you learn to control Firebending, you're suppressing the release of your inner flame to some extent. At least, in the beginning. And because your fire is fueled by emotions at first, and you have a lot of them, it builds up in you just like your emotions do when you tamp them down."
"But I have to keep them in so I don't burn anything."
"At first." He repeats. "But with meditation, you learn to process your emotions without releasing them in outward ways. And with practice, you master the art of focusing your Firebending. And once your body gets used to the new system of build up and flow of energy, it cools off and works normally again. Every Firebender goes through it. Some actually get pretty sick at first."
"Did you?"
"Yeah. I was sick for months. And intermittently for a week or two at a time after that. I was always trying to do more than I was ready for, and as a result, I was always doing it wrong. And I wasn't really in the most calm frame of mind either."
She slides off Rina and takes the reins.
"Are you alright?" He asks, concerned. She looks a bit unsteady on her feet.
"Just tired. And sore. Can we stop for a while?"
"It'll be dark soon." He replies, scanning the horizon. "Can you go another hour?"
"No. Definitely not." He catches her as she starts leaning sideways. "It feels like I'm on a ship." She says.
He reaches a hand to her forehead.
"You're burning up. Drink more water, and keep an eye on Rina. I'll scout ahead a bit and see if I can find some more water."
"Alright." She slumps down and leans on Rina's leg. The rhino takes the opportunity for a snack, paying no mind to the humans beside her.
Zuko finds a small river not too far away and fills their waterskins. A turtle frog croaks and Zuko searches around for a good spot to camp.
When he returns to Hua, the sun is below the horizon and the sky is an orange color. The first stars are appearing overhead.
"Hua?" He asks. The girl is asleep next to a completely oblivious Rina, and he rushes to her side, worried that the rhino might step on her by mistake.
"Mm? Is it morning already?" She asks blearily when he wakes her.
"No. I found a good spot to sleep though. There's a river nearby. It might help your fever. Can you walk?"
He helps her to her feet and she sways unsteadily. With his help, she gets back on Rina and lays her head down, both arms and legs straddling the rhino.
"Do you think you can stay on?" He asks. She nods, and her eyes close again. "You need to stay awake. You could fall."
"I won't fall. I'm just resting my eyes." She says through a yawn.
Zuko rolls his eyes and pulls her off. He ties Rina to a nearby tree and carries Hua to the river.
He settles her in her sleeping bag and stuffs an old jerky bag with leaves to make a pillow for her.
Leaving her with a damp cloth on her head to help cool her, he goes back to Rina and rides back to camp.
Rina is thrilled with the prospect of fresh water, and plunges into the cold river in front of them.
"Don't stay there too long." He glares at her. "The last thing I need is for you to get sick too. And I don't have any coats big enough for you."
The rhino pays him absolutely no mind and rolls in the water. Her tongue forks out to catch some fish. She sighs in utter contentment.
"Well, at least one of us is happy." He mutters.
He refreshes the water in the cloth for Hua and tries to get her to wake up long enough to drink.
This is really bad. I've never seen Fire Fever in an older kid before. Maybe it works differently? Is it deadly for older first time Firebenders?
He wishes he could ask Uncle and get a response in time to help Hua. Once again, he helpless in his ability to aid another.
Laying down some distance away, but close enough to hear Hua if she calls him, he gazes up at the stars.
Ran and Shaw twirl in the sky above him, and he wonders how the Ancient Masters are doing. Has anyone found them yet? Are they still safe?
He closes his eyes and imagines their fire, in all it's different colors and all it's glory.
"ZUKO!" Hua's panicked voice jolts him out of his reverie.
He sprints over to find her curled in a ball, clutching her chest.
"It hurts, it hurts!" She repeats. She's out of breath, and it looks like she's losing consciousness.
"Hang on! It's probably your heart. Just breathe as deeply as you can."
What do I do?!
His mind races. Hua goes limp beside him. He takes a deep breath.
Don't panic. He tells himself. Must NOT panic.
He takes another deep breath.
"Hua, I'm going to have to think a minute. Work with me here. Don't die on me!" He says to the semiconscious girl.
"Okay, so fire and the heart are symbolically intertwined. Your emotions are really excited right now, because you're going somewhere new without your parents, and when I leave, you'll be with people you don't know."
No response from the still form.
"Okay, and you're upset about having to move from Yu Dao. You miss your friend. You've had to hide your emotions because you would burn things down if you didn't. I taught you how to control your fire by calming your emotions. But you still can't release them or think too much about them."
Her eyes flutter briefly and then close again.
"The heat in your body is building up, and you can't get rid of it. I'll bet there's a lot of inflammation around your heart."
He thinks of Katara all of a sudden, and how she healed him after Azula's lightning strike. He doesn't remember too much, but he recalls the gentle pulsing of water and energy around his heart, massaging it and soothing the tightness and pain, and gently circulating blood to bring healing to the damaged parts.
"I'm going to try something. It might hurt, but I think it's the only way to help." He says. He places a hand on her neck, and there is no pulse. He places the other over her heart.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then another, in and out. He focuses on his own heartbeat, slows it down.
He reaches for his own inner flame, and channels it to his fingers, like he would to melt through ice.
Instead of allowing it to build in his hands though, he lets it flow into Hua's heart and veins.
Through it, he can feel her own inner flame, still there and vibrant even with her heart stopped.
He breathes in as he guides her flame into his hand, through his body, cooling it down, and when he breathes out, he releases it through his other hand back into her body through her inflamed heart.
The white heat of her flame sears his very being, and he tries to cool his own through a breathing technique the reverse of the Breath of Fire to compensate.
He feels the swelling begin to go down and he starts to circulate blood through the heat that remains within it.
He tries to maintain a balance of cooling her heart, but keeping the blood hot enough that he can still Bend it.
When he feels the last tear in her heart close,he speeds his own heart up, and begins trying to will hers to follow.
He sends a strong burst of energy through her, and her heart flickers to life, slowly at first, and then faster and stronger.
It synchronizes with his own, and when he opens his eyes and takes his hands away, she looks at him with utter shock.
"How did you do that?" She asks.
"I restarted your heart. The swelling was blocking it." He replies. Although he's surprised the idea worked at all. Shock would be a huge understatement.
"But how? I thought only Waterbenders had healing abilities, and even then, it's rare."
"So did I. I actually used a Waterbending technique that a friend of mine used once. I just applied it to your flame instead of your water. It probably wouldn't have worked if your blood was cold."
"That's a..." She searches for a good word. "cheerful thought. So, was I dead?"
"I think so." He checks her forehead again for fever. She's still warm, but no longer in any danger. For now.
"My heart stopped. I was dead. And you brought me back." She sounds awed. "How is that even possible?! Can your friend do that?"
"I think so. She healed me after I got shot with lightning. I'm pretty sure I was dead. She seemed to think so."
"That's amazing. I always thought once you were dead, that was it."
"So did I. Mostly."
"So, I'll be alright then? I'm not sick anymore?"
"No, you're still sick. You actually still have a fever. I think we'd better rest for a few days. I've never seen Fire Fever this bad before. I think we need to work on some other meditation techniques. I can't always be here to save you, if you get too emotional and burn up. You've got to learn to do it on your own."
He lifts his waterskin for a drink and realizes his body is incredibly weak and tired.
He collapses on his side next to her.
"Are you alright?" She asks.
"Yeah, just tired. I don't know if Firebending is supposed to be used the way I just used it. I'm pretty beat."
"Can I get you anything from the saddlebags?" She moves to get up.
"No. Stay down. We'll rest for tonight. Tomorrow, we'll figure something out."
Hua doesn't argue, to his relief. As soon as he hears her even breathing telling him she's asleep, and he's sure she's not in any more danger, his eyes drift closed and he slips into sleep himself.
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Azula was really sick. Zuko hadn't been allowed to see her for days. Only Father and the servants walked into her room.
Someone said she had Fire Fever, before being hushed by another servant.
"Mom, why does Azula have Fire Fever? Father said she wouldn't get it, because she started Firebending so young. I got it, but I was okay after a few weeks. Why is it making her so sick?"
"Hush! Zuko! Someone might hear you!" Mother steered him towards their little haven at the turtle duck pond.
"Will she be alright, Mom?" He didn't know why he was so worried. Azula had been downright awful to him and Mother in the last four years.
The incident where she'd burned Mother badly enough to put her in the infirmary came to mind.
But even then, he had some doubt that she was really all that horrible. There had to be some good somewhere within her.
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He'd gone to Mother's hospital bed one night, not long after being allowed to see her the first time since her admittance, just to be sure she was alright.
They'd given Mother sleeping herbs to help her rest and dull the pain. Her still form on the bed and the knowledge that she wouldn't awaken even if he called for her had disturbed him.
But he had to make sure she was alright. He just wanted to look.
Her still form had been on the bed, her breaths rising and falling peacefully and painlessly.
But there was another person in the room with her. A child.
Azula!
He almost bolted over to the bed to knock her away. What if she was there to kill Mother?!
But Azula didn't have any weapon with her, and her hands were still by her side.
"I could kill you now, in your sleep." She whispered. "You'd never know, and Father would make it all okay, and Zuko would bawl like the big baby he is."
"But I want answers first, and I can't get those if you're asleep when you die. Why do you love him more than me? Whenever he does something wrong, you explain it to him. When I do something wrong, you just look at me with that pathetic look on your face. You're powerless against me, yet you don't hate me. Did you ever think that maybe I want a hug too, Mom?"
Her voice was angry, even in a whisper.
"Poor little Zuzu! Oh, Zuko don't worry about Father! Just do your best in your training and classes." She mocked. "But when I mess something up, it's "Azula, how could you do that?! Azula, there is no need to be so cruel! Azula, why can't you be more like your big brother?"
She stomped and punched the wall beside her.
"What you don't realize, Mother dearest, is that if I were anything like Zuko, Father would have killed us both and started from scratch. Maybe even killed you too, since you produced such worthless offspring. If I were anything like Zuko, we'd all be dead. What's so wrong about being good at Firebending? What's so wrong about wanting to help Father win the war? Why is it good for Zuko and not good for me? He is weak, you are weak. I'm not! So why do you hate me! I'm the only reason you're alive! And I could kill you right now, and it would be fine! You know that?! I don't need you! But you need me! So why don't you love me, Mother? Why him and not me!"
Azula stood with her fists clenched, and Zuko was sure she was going to either spontaneously combust or perhaps pull a blade and stab Mother right then and there.
He was about to go up and stop her, to throw himself at her with the full expectation that she would kill him for his insolence.
But she turned away from Mother, and he dived behind the wall.
"I won't kill you now, Mother. I should. But I won't. I want to know why. And Father wants me to be more subtle now anyway. I'm supposed to focus more on indirect combat, pulling strings in the shadows. Father loves me, Mother. He knows he needs me. I don't know why you haven't figured it out yet. But you will one day. And then, you'll help me kill Zuko, you'll help me and Father, and we'll be a happy family and Uncle will conquer Ba Sing Se, and we'll all rule the world together." She concluded, and her footsteps started coming towards the door Zuko was hiding behind.
She passed him by, as he held his breath and hoped against all hope that she wouldn't notice him.
When she was gone, he rushed to Mother's side and nestled himself firmly beside her.
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Now, when it was Azula lying there unconscious, he had to wonder if maybe there was some good in his sister after all.
That night, when Mother had gone to bed and Father retired to his study, and the servants were back in their quarters, Zuko snuck out of his room and down the hall to Azula's.
He'd been so excited to get his own room, even if it was smaller than his sister's.
There was a single servant assigned to watch his sister, and she waved him away as he approached.
"Nobody except the Fire Lord, your father, and the doctor are to see your sister." She whispered to him.
"I just wanna to talk to her a bit." He begged.
"No exceptions." She said firmly.
"I could call Father on you, say that you got the water too hot and burned her." He challenged. "I order you to let me see her!"
"Your Highness, I am bidden to obey your orders, unless there is an order from someone higher than you. There is. I must follow that one. You don't want me to be punished, do you?"
"No." He'd seen some of the "punishments" that Father had inflicted on the servants. He had no desire to be the cause of it. None whatsoever.
"I just wanna talk to her! She shouldn't be this sick! Something must be wrong. I can help!" He insisted.
The servant lady smiled.
"Alright, a few minutes, then get out of here before you're seen! And please don't tell anyone I let you in!" She said.
"Can you leave me alone with her? What I have to say is kind of between us."
"I can't do that." Her flat tone indicated no room for arguement.
It occurred to him that she must think he'd want to kill Azula. Most of the servants knew he and his mother were good natured and unlikely to cause harm. But given that he now knew Azula would kill in a heartbeat and would enjoy doing so, and given the wedge Father was driving between them, he understood the woman's caution.
If anything happened to Father's precious Azula, even if it wasn't the servant's fault, the servant unlucky enough to be on duty at the time would most certainly suffer a gruesome, slow, painful, and very public demise.
Doing his best to ignore the servant's presence, he climbed up the bed next to his sister.
"Azula, I don't want you to die." He started. That sounded right, so he kept going.
"Mother and I are very worried about you. And so is Father, although he won't say it. Remember when Mother sang to us every night? Before we got our own rooms? You were pretty young then, so maybe not. But I remember. And I was scared they were going to hurt you, when they tested you for Firebending. And you hugged me. Remember? We need you, Sister. You're part of this family, and a family needs all of it's parts to live. Please, Azula. Please get better! We love you!" He started to cry.
"That's enough now. I'm sure your sister gets the message. Your Highness, it may be best for you to go back to your room now." The lady hugged him tightly as he sobbed into her shoulder. "I'll keep watch over your sister, and I won't let any harm come to her. I promise."
He obediently scurried off to his own room.
He heard Father not too long after that, entering Azula's room before retiring to bed himself. He shooed the servant lady out, and emerged a few minutes after.
Zuko watched him as he walked down the hall. His step was tense, not with worry, but with anger. Father was mad at Azula for being sick!
Zuko wanted to run back and make sure Azula was safe, but the next servant lady had entered the room already, and this one was a bitter woman who he'd seen slapping the younger servant girls when they made too many mistakes.
The next morning, Azula was outside practicing her Firebending, as if nothing had happened. There was more vicious vigor in her attacks, and no question in her eyes when she looked at Mother or Zuko.
When Father forced them to spar, she was more ruthless than ever before, more cunning in her deceptive attacks, more cruel in her insults when he inevitably lost.
Just as no question remained in her mind over Zuko and Mother, so there was no longer any doubt in his mind about her. Azula wanted him dead. She was the enemy more than any other. And he must do his best to stay out of her way where ever he had no hope of catching up.
Her fire now burned a brilliant, searing blue.
A/N Hey y'all! I'm going to try to make the story easier to read by focusing two chapters in a row on the same pov where possible. Where it's not possible, I'll try to keep it in the same location or mindset (Zuko and Lee, or Azula and Mai, for example). Thanks to all who've read this far, especially those who have been with me from the beginning! And a special welcome and thank you to all the new readers who have read this far! It's getting to be a much longer story than I thought! Thoughts, comments, questions, concerns are all welcome in reviews or through pm! Any advice you could offer on grammar, spelling, world lore etc. would also be very much appreciated! Stay safe all!