I had almost forgotten what the Kurosaki Clinic had looked like, it had been almost a year since I had last been here after all. After paying the taxi driver, noting how he stared at the eyepatch covering my right eye, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and brought my rolling suitcase behind me as I approached the front door of the Kurosaki home.

After lugging my suitcase up the stairs, I approached the door and knocked. It took a couple of seconds, but the door soon opened and I met a pair of surprised eyes.

"E-Enka?!"

"Isshi-nii!" I squealed before I threw myself onto my older brother.

Once the surprised left him, Isshin let out a happy laugh as he hugged me, slightly lifting me in the process. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in England somewhere"

"Well-" Before I could reply, I was interrupted by a young girl's voice

"Dad, who was at the door?" Yuzu asked as she came around the corner, but froze when she saw me. When she realized she wasn't imagining things, she squealed "Aunty Enka!"

Before I could properly react, Yuzu had barreled into me and held onto my waist. I laughed before I put my arms around Yuzu.. "Yuzu! I missed you too"

Where's Karin and Ichigo?" I asked.

Karin is at soccer practice, and Ichigo left a little while ago" supplied Yuzu.

"Hmm, a shame. I suppose they'll have to get their presents later"

"Presents?!" Yuzu gasped. "You brought us presents?"

"Of course I did! Isshi-nii, grab my suitcase will you?" I didn't even wait for him to reply, before Yuzu and I went over to the living room.

•••••

A couple hours later, we were at the dinner table. Karin and Ichigo had both come home during that time and were with us. After we had catched up on their lives since I left, it was my turn to be interrogated.

What's England like?" Yuzu was the first to ask.

"Pretty cold and grey" I mused. "I definitely enjoyed being able to wear some of my warmer clothes more often"

"Is it really that cold there?"

"It's summer and the temperature doesn't go above twenty five degrees"

"Really?" Yuzu blinked at her in surprise.

I nodded. "They consider that hot. I got some odd looks when I had on more layers without issue" I said with a chuckle.

"Enough about the weather" Karin interrupted. "What about soccer? It's pretty big there in England, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah. But I'm not much of a sports person" I said, much to Karin's disappointment. "But maybe I can take you there sometime and we can catch a soccer game, wouldn't that be fun?"

I could see Karin sit up straighter at that, but she still managed to keep her composure. "I guess it could be fun"

"Then we'll have to organize it. Maybe I can take you to the 'premiere league'"

"This year?!"

".. probably not this season, but maybe next one" I hid an amused smile as I watched Karin sink back into her chair in disappointment.

Aunty Enka" piped up Yuzu.

"Yes?"

"What about weird things?"

"Weird things?" I bit my bottom lip, thinking about the things I did see in London. "Alot of weird things, especially compared to here"

"Why did you come back?" Ichigo spoke for the first time.

"What do you mean?"

"You were gone for almost a year. Why did you decide to suddenly come back?"

"Well, because I missed my family of course"

That was the excuse I stuck with. But I knew Ichigo saw through it, as did Isshin. The real reason was clear to them, as the date on the calendar was practically glaring at them.

July 16th.

•••••

Isshin was helping me prepare the couch to sleep on, although he didn't stop complaining about it.

"You can take the bed, you know"

"It's fine" I waved him off. "Sleeping on the couch isn't that bad" I plopped a pillow down on one side before I sat down. Isshin quietly sat down beside me, and I frowned at him. "What's wrong?"

"You don't have to do this, you know" I blinked at him. "You don't have to drop everything and fly home when it's that time"

"It's not like I just 'drop everything'. I prepare for it in advance"

"But you don't have to"

Of course I do" I sighed. "You all the need the support. And Masaki was my family too, you know"

"I know..."

"So obviously I have to come home when it's the anniversary. She was my sister in all but blood... and I miss her too"

I felt Isshin put an arm around me before he pulled me into a hug. I hesitated, before I leaned into him. "I'm the one that should be hugging you"

"You're the one crying, Enka"

"I am?" I reached up to touch my face, and found that my cheeks were wet. I didn't even notice. "How pathetic.."

"It's not. When Masaki died, we all lost someone important"

"You'd think with everyone we've lost, it would get easier to deal with.."

"Death is never easy to deal with" Isshin placed his hand on my head and started stroking it. "Especially when it's someone you love"

"You know, I came here to support you. But it seems like you're the one doing all the supporting"

"Well, I am your older brother" Isshin cracked a grin. "It's my job to take care of you. That's why I was born before you"

"Be that as it may, you're the one that lost the person you love. I'm suppose to be taking care of you right now"

"You can do that tomorrow. Right now, let me do my job"

I sighed softly and snuggled into Isshin. "Fine.. but if you need me, just let me know"

"Don't worry about it"

We sat in silence for a bit, with me burying my face into his clothed chest to hide my tears. Masaki's death had affected me more than I let on, Masaki had been the sister I never had.

"Do you ever think about them?"

"Huh?" I pulled my head back in confusion, frowning up at my brother.

"You know who I'm talking about"

"Why would you bring them up now?"

"You lost people you love, just like I lost someone I love"

"It's not the same, Isshi-nii" I scoffed

"How isn't it?"

"They didn't die. I just left them"

"You still lost them, Enka. And I don't think you ever really properly mourned that loss"

I pulled away from him completely, my frown deepening. "I have"

"No, you haven't. You've been distracting yourself for twenty years now. First with Masaki, then with the kids, now with all these trips. You can't distracting yourself forever"

"I'm not distracting myself, Isshin. I've made peace with my decision years ago"

"I've known you since you were born. I know you. And what you're doing, isn't good for you"

".. it's late, Isshin. And we need to get up early" I moved away from him and made a show of fluffing my pillow.

Isshin sighed and stood up. "You should take some time to mourn. You'll feel better" He took my folded up blanket and opened it up for me "Think about it" He placed the blanket over the end of the couch, before he left the room.

I stared at him as he left, then scoffed when he was gone. I didn't need to mourn, I didn't actually lose anyone. I made the choice to leave them, and I deserve to live with that choice. I pulled my legs up before laying down on the couch and pulling the blanket over myself. Laying my head down on the pillow, I couldn't help but think about them. I wondered what they were doing now, if they were even alive.

I scoffed. Of course they were still alive, that was a stupid thought. They were alive and well, and doing alot better without her. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but tonight, the weight of the necklace I wore seemed heavier than normal. It was all I could think about