Chapter 57: Ifalna

I waited for Ifalna to begin her story, knowing I would learn more about my mother at the end. The most I had already known was that she was Major Reynolds, and that I was delivered through a C-section with a shuriken. She bled out in the process and died. And I was found next to her corpse.

Or so I had believed up until this night.

"I wasn't a saint in high school," Ifalna began. "I didn't do drugs or party, but I did date boys."

"That's not much of an issue," I pointed out.

"Unless you get pregnant the first time you have sex," Ifalna retorted.

That did surprise me. I always saw Ifalna as warm and motherly. Of course we all make mistakes, that that wasn't anywhere near the biggest surprise I got that day.

"That was pregnancy number one," Ifalna continued. "You do know the rules of the Cetra, right?"

"About reproduction?" I replied. "I know a pregnancy lasts only several hours. I also know that when a Cetra gives birth for the third time, her body gives her a warning. And if she gives birth the fourth time, she dies."

"You got it," Ifalna replied. "And if nobody helps the baby out, the baby dies, too."

"And nobody was ever able to find a way around this?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not," Aerith said. "If you're a Cetra, once you're pregnant a fourth time, you're doomed."

"The first time I got pregnant," Ifalna continued, "was when I was seventeen. It was during a trip to Costa del Sol with my boyfriend at the time. I ended up giving birth on the beach in front of a crowd of curious gawkers. Needless to say, that was how I was discovered to be a Cetra."

"And that's when the consequences of that knowledge began?" I asked.

Ifalna nodded.

"Hojo was in the crowd, along with several of his girlfriends. I'll presume he reported it to the Shinra, because they started coming after me soon after. That was the first time I was captured and taken to the Shinra building. They didn't do anything hardcore, like they did those later times. They just mainly kept drawing blood and snipping locks of hair."

"What happened to the baby?" I asked.

"He was taken to a separate lab," Ifalna replied solemnly. "I never saw him again."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be," Ifalna assured me. "I wouldn't have been able to keep him anyway."

I didn't press her any further on that; it would be left ambiguous whether the baby died or it was adopted by a family. As Hojo made great efforts to keep all his subjects alive, it would likely be the latter.

Suddenly, something popped into my head.

What if Major Reynolds survived being sliced by that shuriken? What if she really gave me up, and is still alive out there? I had to accept the possibility existed.

"I spent the next two years living at Shinra Headquarters," Ifalna continued. "I had to sleep on hard mattresses and eat terrible food. It was basically the same as jail."

"How did they treat you?" I asked, though I knew it was a stupid question.

"Awful," Ifalna replied. "Whenever I failed to cooperate, Major Reynolds would come and beat me."

I closed my eyes. I knew very little about that woman, but I had no idea she was that cruel.

It made me sick inside.

"I'm so sorry my mother treated you so poorly," I apologized.

"I never said your mother treated me poorly," Ifalna insisted.

This confused me at first; it sounded very contradictory.

In any event, I was certainly hoping there was more she knew about my mother.

"The only person who treated me well was Gast Feremis," Ifalna said. "That, by the way, was Aerith's father."

"I'm aware," I said.

"He got me a furnished room. He also helped me escape," Ifalna continued. "I was able to escape Midgar, cross the fields of the Eastern Continent, and take the ferry from Junon to Bone Village. I met up with Gast again in my native Icicle Inn."

"What happened then?" I asked, deducing that it probably did not involve my mother.

"We eloped a few days later," Ifalna replied. "We had three happy years together. Then, Aerith was born."

"Hey!" Aerith exclaimed. "Are you saying I was an accident?!"

"A pill baby, technically," Ifalna clarified. "Your birth was recorded, by the way. In fact, after you faked your death at the Forgotten Capital, all your friends watched it. They all saw you naked."

Aerith immediately began to blush.

"Well," Ifalna continued, "if it makes you feel any better, you were cleaned and dressed when you were an hour old. I didn't stop being naked for a week! I was bedridden, and could barely move!"

"You were sick?" I asked.

"No," Ifalna replied as she shook her head. "My body gave me a warning."

"A warning?!" I asked.

"Aerith was my third child," Ifalna informed me. "So my body left me sick for a week. It was a warning that I would die if I gave birth one more time."

"Cloud said that, in the video, you mentioned the average Cetra has nine children," I pointed out.

Ifalna giggled.

"That's a cultural thing of us Cetra," she admitted. "We tend to exaggerate and embellish. A lot."

"So the fourth baby really does kill a Cetra," I double checked.

"Actually," Ifalna continued, "that was how I died."

This was a contradiction from what I had heard from Tifa.

"I thought you died of exhaustion," I objected. "At the train station."

"Partial truth," Ifalna replied. "I was exhausted, for sure. They did do experiments on me that sapped my strength. But the train yard was where I gave birth to my fourth and final child."

"Wait a minute!" Aerith interjected. "I had a younger brother or sister?!"

"Brother," Ifalna clarified. "He was born at the train station.

"How did I not find out?!" Aerith exclaimed.

"Elmyra whisked you away pretty fast," Ifalna replied. "I tried to tell her, but I was too weak to speak. I still had my dress on, and my lower half was also covered by a towel. Nobody would know."

"But how could this have happened?!" Aerith inquired. "Dad had long since passed on!"

Ifalna gave us both a sheepish look.

"After Aerith was born and my body gave me a warning, I promised myself to spend the rest of my life in celibacy," Ifalna said. "So I never dated anyone. We were, of course, captured, and subjected to all sorts of experiments. But it helped me keep my celibacy vow, which I didn't break until right before I died."

Aerith seemed disappointed.

"Why would you do such a foolish thing?" she demanded.

Ifalna sighed.

"Because Dr. Hicks was really…..sweet," she replied, blushing.

"You mean Faz Hicks?!" Aerith demanded. "That eighteen-year-old lab assistant? The chubby guy?"

"Yeah," sighed Ifalna. "That's the one. I mean, he did so much for us. He got us that home in the Sector Three slums. He got us food. He made an escape plan. So the evening we fled, I heard him taking a shower, so I went into the bathroom and…..well…..I felt almost forced to reward him in that way. I know that's not a good word to use, but he deserved it."

"Did you?" Aerith asked.

"I did play a stupid game and won a stupid prize in the end, didn't I?" Ifalna replied.

"And I didn't help you deliver the baby?!" Aerith asked.

"You were seven," Ifalna replied. "You still believed in the stork."

"And what happened to him?" asked Aerith nervously, though she already knew the answer.

"He died," Ifalna replied sadly. "He was only halfway out."

All three of us were silent.

There was no sense in assigning a blame game. The circumstances wouldn't have allowed an alternative. Elmyra had to get Aerith away from danger as soon as possible. Another tagalong would have slowed them down.

"And that's everything," Ifalna said.

That, of course, implied she had told me everything she knew about my mother, which turned out to be barely anything. I felt beyond cheated.

"That's everything?!" I asked.

"Yes," Ifalna answered.

I was so disappointed I almost cried.

Still, she shared a lot with me, which couldn't have been easy.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I just thought you knew a lot more about my mother."

"Actually," Ifalna said, "I know a great deal about your mother. More than anything else."

"You just said you know very little Major Reynolds," I mentioned.

Ifalna sighed.

"It's time you knew the details of the escape," she said. "When I fled to Icicle Inn."

FLASHBACK…

Ifalna sat on the sofa in her furnished prison as Gast Ferris entered the room.

"I did it," he announced.

"You did?!" Ifalna exclaimed.

Gast flaunted the resignation letter he had typed up and signed.

Ifalna leaped into his arms and kissed him.

Gast lifted her off the ground.

"So Icicle Inn?" she asked.

"Icicle Inn," Gast replied. "So I need you to listen to me. You remember how to drive, right?"

"I think so," Ifalna replied, remembering that she had not driven since she was captured.

"Good," Gast said. "At eleven this morning, the security system is going to fall victim to a bug. That means all cameras and locks are going to be useless for fifteen minutes. Use that time to get to the parking garage."

He then handed her the car keys.

"I'm the red sedan parked right next to the elevator," he said. "Drive it to Junon, and meet me at Bone Village. We'll go to Icicle Inn from there.

"You're staying behind?!" Ifalna asked in surprise.

"I need to distract them," Gast answered. "I'm going to create one hell of a scene."

Ifalna then glanced at the clock.

"It's only eight, you know," she said. "We've got three hours."

"And?" asked Gast.

"I'm not wearing any panties," she replied with a seductive smile. "Want to create one hell of a scene in the bedroom?"

LATER….

Although Ifalna had not driven in a long time, she found it easy to re-learn. She pulled out of the garage, and soon found the Shinra Headquarters behind her. Despite the apprehension she felt, she found the initial escape simple.

But it was while she was driving down the Midgar Expressway that she realized that something would go wrong with their plan.

She began to feel a copper taste in her mouth.

….END FLASHBACK

It had occurred to me that Ifalna had only mentioned three of her pregnancies: her first (when she was seventeen), her third (Aerith), and her fourth (which killed her). This left a second pregnancy that she had yet to mention.

Tobin and I weren't trying to conceive at that time, but we had accepted that if it happened, it happened, so I became familiar with the symptoms. Sure enough, a copper taste was one of the first ones.

"You're a married woman," Ifalna said, "so I'm guessing you know what a copper taste in your mouth means?"

"I'm well aware," I said, knowing right away that it was her amorous encounter with Professor Gast that very morning that got her pregnant.

"For a Cetra, it's the start of a countdown," Ifalna informed me. "It means I have between two and six hours to get to wherever I want to have the baby. For me, that meant anywhere but the Eastern Continent."

"So that was your first symptom," I observed.

"The nausea came second, further down the expressway," Ifalna continued. "I had to pull over and I….threw up off the overpass."

Aerith suddenly began to giggle.

"It landed on a poor college student who was just passing by and minding his own business," she added.

"I remember," said Ifalna. "All I heard was a splat, followed by a 'what the fuck?!'"

All three of us laughed in unison.

"But," continued Ifalna, "as I was so focused on getting out of Midgar and to the ferry without losing my breakfast all over myself, or the car, I did a dumb thing and forgot to check the gas gauge. I ended up passing Kalm, where the last gas station before Junon was. I made it past the Chocobo Farm and Mythryl Caves before I paid the consequences."

FLASHBACK….

The car ran out of gas twelve miles from Junon.

Ifalna got out of the car. She popped the trunk and ran to check for a portable gas tank, but none was there. All she found was a spare tire, and a rusted shuriken.

She was stranded.

Ifalna looked down. Her dress was loose, but, placing a hand on her stomach, she could feel herself beginning to swell.

The symptoms never lied.

She knew the Shinra would have certainly noticed her absence by now, and would be looking for her.

Junon remained the closest town at this point; she would have no choice but to walk from there.

So she walked, taking the shuriken with her in case she needed to defend herself.

She did not get very far.

The pain in her back was worsening, and so was the nausea.

It was no mystery as to what was happening.

She and Gast had been intimate; they had conceived a child. There was nothing to do but tread on as her abdomen continued to swell. She continued, though she found it doubtful that she would make it to Junon before she gave birth.

Sure enough, Ifalna went into labor, one hour and half a mile later.

She had no chance of making it; she would have to give birth out in the field.

Still, she needed to look for shelter.

She scanned the fields in front of her.

And, soon, she heard the inevitable demand.

"Stop right there!" bellowed a low, loud female voice.

Ifalna turned around.

It was Major Reynolds.

She was armed with an M16, and was aiming it right at the defenseless Ifalna.

"You wouldn't….seriously point that….at a pregnant woman, would you?" Ifalna struggled to say.

"I would," Major Reynolds taunted. "And I'll pull the trigger."

….END FLASHBACK

I immediately became defensive.

"Why are you saying these things about my mother?" I demanded.

Ifalna managed to remain calm.

"I haven't said anything about your mother," she replied.

This confused me again

"As difficult as this might be," Ifalna warned me, "right now, I need you to listen."

FLASHBACK…

"What do….you…..want?" Ifalna struggled to plead.

"Two things," Major Reynolds demanded. "First, surrender to me and return to Shinra Headquarters. Two, tell me the whereabouts of Professor Gast."

Ifalna did not respond. She felt as if she was in an impossible situation.

Major Reynolds took a step closer.

"I'm not waiting for long," she demanded. "Where is Professor Gast?!"

"He's still in Midgar," Ifalna lied.

Major Reynolds pointed the barrel directly between Ifalna's eyes. Her finger was on the trigger.

"I'm the hardest person to lie to," the Major warned. "We seized his credit card information. It looks like he took a ferry to the Northern Continent. So tell me: where is Professor Gast?"

Ifalna closed her eyes.

"Modeoheim," she replied softly.

Major Reynolds scoffed.

"He betrayed the Shinra," she said. "There's no way in hell he'd go hide in a Shinra stronghold."

She then lowered the gun until it was pointed at Ifalna's stomach.

"I guess," the Major continued, "when I aimed for your brain, I was aiming a little too high!"

Ifalna panicked.

Major Reynolds was pointing the gun straight at her bump, which was now slightly visible in her loose dress.

She thought about Gast.

She thought about her unborn baby.

Neither would be safe if she complied with the Major's demands.

Neither would be safe if she attempted to simply flee.

There was only one remaining option.

Despite her pain, she slid under Major Reynolds.

She took the shuriken.

She sliced it across the Major's abdomen.

The Major let out a loud wail of agony.

Blood splattered everywhere.

"You little knocked up bitch!" hissed Major Reynolds.

Those were her last words.

Major Reynolds collapsed to the ground.

She had lost too much blood.

She did not move or speak.

She was dead.

…END FLASHBACK

Inside, I felt sick.

"You killed my mother?!" I exclaimed.

"I didn't kill your mother," Ifalna insisted.

"Is this some kind of a game?!" I exclaimed. "You just told me you sliced her across the stomach and caused her to die a quick but obviously painful death!"

I wanted to strangle her, but only a moron would try to kill something that's already dead.

"Have you seriously not guessed yet?" Aerith sighed.

"Guessed? What?" I demanded. "You mom is giving me these weird contradictions!"

"You're a smart girl," Aerith continued. "You should be able to figure it out!"

"I asked for answers so I wouldn't have to figure it out!" I retorted.

Aerith then looked at me sincerely.

"Cissnei," she began. "She hasn't said any contradictions. She didn't kill your mother because Major Reynolds…..was not your mother."

"What?!" I whispered.

The initial shock took me, but I recovered quickly. Somehow, I knew there was more important information ahead.

"Haven't you seen her in pictures?" Aerith demanded.

I nodded.

"Did you two look anything alike?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Then who else could have given birth to me?!" I demanded.

Aerith sighed.

"Maybe you should ask my mom to continue her story," she suggested. "Maybe she knows."

Realizing any argument would delay the answer I sought, I turned to Ifalna once more.

"So you killed her in self defense," I said.

"That's right," Ifalna replied.

Slowly, the realization of what was probably true was coming to me. It all made perfect sense now.

She just needed to confirm it.

"What happened then?" I asked in a trembling voice.

"I then felt a sharp pain in my own abdomen," Ifalna continued. "I knelt down and pushed. And then, I reached under my dress, and……there you were."

I had seen that answer coming, but I was still shocked at the same time.

"And you think your ability to communicate with dead people like us is some special gift," Aerith said. "It's because you're not human, Cissnei. You're a Cetra."

I sat backwards on the sofa and placed my hands on my face. The emotion was overwhelming.

"You're my mother?!" I finally said.

Ifalna closed her green eyes and nodded.

Of course I looked more like Ifalna than Major Reynolds.

Of course that was why Ifalna appeared suddenly; she wanted to make peace with her long-lost daughter.

And yet…..there was still one loose end I didn't understand.

"But then," I continued, "why was I told Major Reynolds was my mother?"

"Because I left you next to her body, sent a distress signal with her cell phone, and off I went," Ifalna replied. "We do recover from giving birth pretty fast. If it's our first or second child, that is."

This left a burning question.

"Why was I left there?" I asked.

"You would never have been safe if they knew you were my daughter," Ifalna explained. "Look at Aerith. They wanted to capture her and do all sorts of tests."

In other words, she did it because she thought she was saving my life. So, up until that day, when I was twenty-seven, I never knew Ifalna and Gast Feremis were my parents.

And I never knew that, by extension, Aerith was my sister.

LATER….

It was now two hours later. The sun was completely down, and the stars were out.

We had all calmed down from the evening's revelation.

I told Ifalna about as much as I possibly could about my life, and was surprised to know that she was there in her spirit form, watching over me at all my pivotal moments.

Which, of course, meant she was at our wedding.

Then, suddenly, she stood up

"Are you okay, mom?" I asked.

It felt new addressing someone like that; I had never done so in my life.

"I could use some fresh air," Ifalna replied.

Curiously, Aerith frowned, but stood up along with us.

Ifalna clutched both of our hands as the three of us walked out the front door.

And she felt solid; I nearly forgot she was a deceased spirit.

When we were about a hundred feet from my front door, both women turned to face me.

Ifalna smiled.

"What a beautiful evening," she acknowledged.

Aerith retained her melancholy look, as if she was anticipating something I was unaware of.

"Anyway," Ifalna continued, "I think the moment has arrived."

Aerith began to tremble slightly.

"A-are you sure, mom?" she asked nervously.

Ifalna closed her eyes and nodded.

"I was able to tell Cissnei the truth," she replied. "Now she knows where she really came from, and I was able to talk to my daughter, even if it was only for a short time. I feel complete now. I feel…fulfilled."

With that, Ifalna took Aerith into her arms, and kissed her on the forehead.

She then did the same to me.

"Take care of your sister for me," she whispered.

Then, she stepped back to a neutral distance from Aerith and I.

"I love you both," Ifalna said.

And then, as we watched, she began to rise off the ground.

Ifalna continued to rise as I could suddenly hear Aerith sob softly to herself.

Soon, she was above the trees, floating majestically in the air.

Her spirit began to glow.

And then, she flickered, and disappeared.

Aerith collapsed to her knees.

She began to cry.

I tried to hug her, but, of course, my arms went right through her.

I tried to reconcile myself with what had just happened. I don't recall how long that took. What I do remember is when Aerith stopped crying and stood up.

"What happened?" I finally asked.

"She's moved on," Aerith replied as she dried a tear.

"Moved on," I echoed.

"She's not in the Lifestream anymore," Aerith continued. "She's gone."

"Gone?" I asked, confused. "Gone to where?"

"I have no idea," Aerith replied. "Nobody does."

I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

I remembered how Aerith's goal was also to move on.

And that meant that, once she did, Aerith would disappear, too.

LATER THAT NIGHT….

I sat on the bed in my tank top and pajama bottoms as Tobin climbed into bed.

He could tell how drained I looked; my saggy eyes were the first thing he noticed.

"You okay?" he asked. "You didn't go out today."

"I know," I replied softly.

Mind you, I wasn't depressed over Ifalna, my mother, disappearing forever. If anything, I was beyond grateful that I got to spend a day with her.

But, like I said, I was drained.

Not to mention, I spoke to both of them out loud, and I knew he had to have heard me at some point.

I didn't want him thinking I was crazy.

So I made a decision.

"Listen," I began. "If you're not too tired, and if it's not too much trouble, can I tell you something?"

"Sure," he said.

I told him everything.

About Aerith.

About Ifalna.

By the time I was done telling him everything, it was one at night.

Tobin responded by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry about your mom," he whispered.

"I didn't know she was my mom until tonight," I replied. "I'm just so overwhelmed."

"I'm here for you," he assured me as he stroked my back through my shirt.

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" I asked.

Tobin shocked his head.

I hugged him more tightly.

Despite everything, I still felt beyond fortunate to have him.

I then made eye-contact.

"So," I began, "what do you think?"

"She's only told you bits and pieces of her life story," Tobin replied. "I find it….interesting."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It seems she's mentioned less than what's in the memoir," Tobin pointed out. "She didn't even bring up Mary Ellen."

"That's true," I said, controlling myself not to laugh.

"But she's also said how wonderful of a friend my cousin was to her. And she's had a lot to say about the Balen brothers. And I do mean a lot. How ruthless they are, and how they want to hurt women and children or hold them for ransom."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I think she's at peace with her past," Tobin suggested. "There's something else."

"Like what?" I asked.

"She's brought up Jack and Sumner Balen a lot," Tobin pointed out. "They played virtually no role in her life. I don't even remember even meeting them when I was hanging out with her."

"What are you saying?" I asked him.

"It seems more like a warning," Tobin suggested.

I was too tired and drained to really think about it.

Maybe she was trying to tell me something.

But I was in no position to comprehend at the moment.

I soon fell asleep in the place I felt the safest: Tobin's arms.

Despite my loss that night, having him always kept me going.