Hello!

I had a bit of a writer's block, but I'm past it, hopefully. I still have enough chapters ready to stop writing for a while without you noticing anyway x)

Warning for this chapter: panic attack.

Enjoy!

Chapter 13 - Vulnerability

Fizz wouldn't shut up since Blitz had told him he had been right, and things were way better between him and Stolas. Everything wasn't perfect, they avoided some subjects, but still, it was very promising, as the jester said. Stolas didn't move oddly despite all the exercise they did during the self-defense lesson, and whatever got him hurt seemed to be related to his duties or something. It was still a bit worrying, but not enough that Blitz wasn't able to push it down and ignore it in favor of all the good signs.

They had scheduled the next self-defense lesson for when Stolas would have likely ordered and received everything they would need for their training, and weapons he could have on himself. No gun, he was definitely not ready and didn't seem eager to carry one on him, though he still wanted to teach him at some point just in case, but that would be for later.

Until then, they didn't particularly plan to meet. Once a week was already more than what they used to see each other with the full moon agreement still on, not to mention they have been avoiding each other lately. Better not see each other too much, and keep on a more distant reason to meet at first, since Blitz still wasn't over his inner turmoil concerning his feelings, and Stolas seemed to want a bit of time and space too, even if he didn't quite voice it that way.

Still, they were back to more casual texting, the owl often interacting with his posts and photos on social medias, and they exchanged messages almost daily. Nothing too much, but it still felt… Nice maybe wasn't the best term, but… Yeah, it was cool. Even having Fizz on his ass in his texts felt like being back to good old times.

It should have been that the whole week, with Blitz still doing his job and missions, until that day they were all topside, Loona included, to deal with several hits spread across some isolated village. Well, more like a small town, but with how distant the homes were to each other, outside of the city center, it looked like a village, and it was a pain to find and eliminate all targets quickly.

So, they split. Which wasn't a problem, they already had to do that in the past to locate someone or save time like today. Now, the real issue was once the job was done and they reunited in the forest near said village, small town, or whatever, ready to get back down.

"Well gang, see, it didn't go too bad!" Blitz beamed at his employees.

"Not too bad?! Should I really remind you how we could have ended it way more quickly if you didn't ruin the last…"

"Now shush Mox, for once you're not the one to mess up, don't brag too much about it! Now, who's got the fancy crystal, so we can go back home? Loonie?"

"Nope! I don't need it to disguise myself, unlike you."

"Sure, but since you used to keep the book, we often give it to you once we're all in disguise! Speaking of which, why did you remove yours already?"

She shrugged.

"We'll be back soon, and we're out of human sight."

"That's not very wise, I thought we said it was better to transform before and after getting on Earth…" Moxxie began.

"Relax sweetie, look, we put on the disguise after crossing the portal today, and it was fine!"

"Are you sure? I think we did it before..."

"Never mind! It's not like we can portal in front of humans anyway!" Blitz cut. "But! That still doesn't answer our question. Who has the fucking crystal? I'd rather be back as soon as possible so we can finish the day, no point in staying here for longer than needed!"

As he spoke, he also transformed back, his horns giving him an interesting haircut in his human forms, but his scars staying the same in both forms, just not the same color.

Following his example, Millie also went from a tanned small girl that looked more like a child or teenager than an adult due to her size in her imp form, leaving only Moxxie, with a skin almost as white as Loona's in her human form, in

disguise.

"Really, don't complain if we get in trouble despite the disguises some day", he grumbled as he transformed back too.

"Oh come on, we've done fine without them for ages!"

As they kept talking, or rather arguing at this point, Moxxie searched his pockets, followed by Millie. Both came empty-handed.

"Hm, sir? I think you kept the crystal this time, since you were the last one to put up the disguise."

"Really? I'm pretty sure I gave it to one of you!" He recalled.

"You guys have one job, to keep track of a fucking jewel that fits in your pocket, and you can't even remember who has it?" Loona sighed.

"Well, since you almost always accompany us now, I suggested it would be wise for you to keep it, since you are used to with the grimoire…" Moxxie began.

"Hey, I'm not a crystal carrier, ok? How can you not be able to deal with something as simple as that?"

The three imps exchanged looks as even Blitz began to search his pockets.

"Er… Loonie? Are you sure you don't want to check too? Because I don't have it either", Blitz announced.

"Oh fuck, really?!" She groaned.

"Wait, does that mean we're stuck on Earth?!" Moxxie shrieked.

"Hey, wow, calm down drama queen! Loona probably has it. If not, think! Who was the last to use it, and when?"

"At least I have one good news!" Millie brightly announced. "We returned to where we entered the human world, so if we lost it on our way up, it should be around."

"Yeah, that is, if one of us didn't loose it during the killing", Moxxie mumbled.

"Hey, quit putting bad luck on us with your rambling!"

"I'm not!"

They were about to continue when the hellhound interrupted, finally looking something else than annoyed.

"Guys… I don't have it either."

"Fuck."

The feeling was mutual. They looked at each other for a few seconds before they tried to focus on the more pressing matter, desperately trying to recall who was responsible for the crystal. Once it became clear no one could remember, Moxxie and Blitz trying to put the blame on each other out of habit, and Millie trying to calm things down by suggesting to start looking around, Loona sighed and tapped Blitz on the shoulder.

The tall imp turned to her, full of hope.

"Did you find it Loonie?"

"No, and it's too small to be able to smell it. But I'm not searching the whole area for a small rock, it will take forever. Can't you ask Stolas to pick us up? Maybe he even has a spell to retrieve it!"

"Hey, we're not letting such a powerful crystal here, he'd kill me!" Blitz plainly announced. "But I guess you're right, he can probably help."

"I never said to leave without the crystal, but I'm not looking for it forever", Loona simply warned.

"I take it we can't ask for another?" Millie naively asked.

"Surely not! It's not that easy to get one, and once again, we can't let such a thing in the human world", Moxxie confirmed.

"Gotta agree for once. Now you guys, start searching around here, I'll call Stolas, see if he can lend us a hand."

He did just that, barely walking a few steps away before dialing the owl, this mishap starting to make him grumpy. At least, the prince was quick to pick up, not letting Blitz enough time to worry the Goetia might be busy.

"Hello, Blitzy! I wasn't expecting your call today. How are you?"

The tone made him pause. It was so joyful, almost flirtatious, he suddenly felt like he was back a few months ago.

The silence lasted for a few seconds, and it was enough to hear a more composed, almost worried Stolas back on the phone.

"Ah, sorry, maybe it was too much? I'm having such a good day, seeing you call out of the blue could only make it better!"

"'s fine, I was just, y' know, surprised. So, uh, yeah, sorry, I'm calling for work again. You see, today was a pretty busy day, and we may have… Lost the crystal?"

There was a long pause, Blitz bracing himself for screaming.

"You what?"

Good news, Stolas sounded too astonished to actually yell.

"Yes, well, you see, we're never sure of who has it, and we don't even know where we might have lost it. I mean, we checked everyone's pockets and…"

"I think I get it, but please do be more careful with it. What do you expect from me though? You definitely can't let the crystal on Earth while I portal you back to Hell, but I don't think I'd be of much help to search."

"You don't have a spell for this? At least, with how tall you are, maybe you can see things we missed?"

"I doubt it, on the contrary, if you tossed it somewhere on the ground, I'd be less likely to spot it, but alright. Are you currently where you supposedly lost it?"

Blitz barely had enough time to tell the owl where he was that a portal ripped open near him, and the prince stepped in, not bothering with a disguise since none of them had one.

"You're not using the disguises from the crystal?" He immediately asked.

"We do, we just don't need them right now since we're finished and were about to get back." Blitz easily shrugged off.

"And how would you have put it back since you lost the crystal?" Stolas asked with a raised brow.

"Well… We didn't realize we didn't have it when we took the disguise off", Moxxie explained, embarrassed.

They were still searching, but they were close enough to have noticed Stolas' presence and hear his conversation with their boss.

"It's true!" Millie confirmed. "Even if humans came by, we can still hide, we've done worst in the past, like in LA!"

"True", Stolas admitted as he looked around, likely hoping to spot the crystal in doing so. He met Loona's intent stare instead and blinked in response, taken aback.

"Is there a problem?" He asked.

Blitz turned his head at light speed when he noticed his daughter's glare, but she simply shrugged and resumed her search. For a second, he was worried she had smelled something again, but it didn't seem like it. Even he could tell the owl was fine. He was moving normally, and behaved more like usual, which was a nice sight.

But now wasn't the time to think about it, they had a crystal to find! Sadly, none of them went lucky with their search in the forest around where they appeared, so they decided to start taking the path they took to town once they were sure they didn't miss it in their first search spot.

Of course, they couldn't do that silently. Stolas timidly engaged in small talk and quickly regretted it as it only reminded them of their current situation.

"Honestly, the day was good until now!" Blitz assured aloud, not really knowing if he was trying to convince the Goetia or his employees.

"You mean until you messed up with the last target, and couldn't even bother to keep track of who has the crystal? Frankly sir, for someone who claims to be the boss, it's quite pathetic as you'd say if I was the one to mess up."

"Oh shut up Moxxie, I may have fucked up with the last hit, but I sure as hell ain't the one who had the crystal and fucking lost it! It's not my fault the one who had it is probably too much of a coward to admit he is the one responsible for this mess! Speaking of which, that lead to only one suspect, since Millie and Loona definitely aren't wimps like you!"

Millie pouted at seeing them argue while Loona followed without even attempting to look for the crystal, scrolling on her phone instead. With the two arguing imps, it didn't leave many people actually trying to spot the crystal somewhere on the grass, but Blitz finally remembered why they were walking this path when he noticed Stolas has stopped, seemingly lost in thoughts.

"What? You remembered a spell we could use?" Blitz hoped.

It took several seconds for Stolas to raise his head and look at Blitz, but his gaze felt unfocused, and given the lack of pupils in his eyes, it was saying something.

"N… No, sorry, but I fear we may not be able to find it by searching alone without even knowing who had it. I… I'll try to look in my books for a bit, maybe I can find something to help locate it."

He quickly turned away to open a portal, and Blitz frowned at the sudden change in demeanor. It looked more like if something was bothering the owl, but he hadn't received any message that could explain that, right? He didn't remember hearing any ringtone, but he may have been too busy yelling at Moxxie.

"Hey, you know we're stuck here without you and the crystal, right?" Loona suddenly spoke.

That turned Blitz's attention to his daughter, only to see her sniffing toward Stolas, looking concerned once again. Since she hadn't noticed anything strange before despite obviously checking when the prince arrived, it meant it had something to do with his emotional state.

Looking back at the owl, the assassin couldn't help but notice how Stolas was avoiding looking at them as he added while only slightly turning his head toward them:

"Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I find something useful. Text me if you need anything."

He had begun to walk through the portal before finishing his sentence, and Blitz rushed after him on instinct, waving at the others.

"Keep looking while I help him, we'll have more chance with a spell after all!" He yelled.

He barely had time to cross before the portal closed behind him, cutting the disgruntled yell back from Moxxie.

Honestly, he didn't know himself why he had chosen to follow Stolas. He would definitely be useless in finding a spell in an old book, but he had a hunch it wasn't the real reason for the prince's rushed retreat, and quickly realized his gut instinct was right when, in the silence of the room they were now in, he finally noticed Stolas' heavy breathing.

Hesitantly, he approached the owl, unsure of what that was about. The prince had his back to Blitz, but what he could see of the owl spoke of some kind of panic attack, between the panting and the shaking that was also growing. That may be what Loona had noticed earlier.

"Stolas?"

The owl tensed, and as he got nearer, Blitz realized he was steadying himself with his hands on the top of the furniture in front of him.

"Hey, you okay? What's the matter?"

Worry was quickly growing. The imp had never seen the prince act like that, not even when he was worried sick for Octavia in LA, and the fact it started out of the blue only added to his worry.

"Did you receive a text? Is this about Via? Do you need help with something?" He continued, stopping near the owl, not daring to touch him.

Stolas wouldn't look his way, but shook his head at the mention of his daughter's name.

"Ok, then, what is it? It's not because we lost the crystal, is it? Hey, please look at me."

Gently, Blitz took one of Stolas' hands to turn the Goetia toward him. They had appeared in the prince's bedroom, near the shelf with his books, but as the owl turned to face Blitz, his white pupils suddenly appeared as his breathing hitched, before he stumbled away from Blitz and fell sitting with his back against the wall, curling up on himself, arms hugging himself as his breathing came back heavier and louder, and his shaking also increased.

"Shit! Stolas, I'm sorry! Just, talk to me, please? What… What do you need to feel better?"

Stolas couldn't hide his face against his knees, but with his head down like this, Blitz had to crouch a bit to be able to see his features, and he didn't like what he was seeing.

At all.

The white pupils were gone in his main eyes, but he didn't look like he was hearing the imp at all. Instead, he looked… Scared, yes, definitely. It didn't help that the red and white demon felt like he had only worsened Stolas' state by his attempts to calm him down.

"Maybe I should give you some space? I'll step back if that's what you…"

He wanted to say 'need', but was stopped from even starting to move when a hand suddenly grabbed his and squeezed, the message clear: "Don't leave me".

Blitz blinked at the hand, then he looked back at the owl, still distressed but with his head a bit higher, and he understood that Stolas could hear him, he simply couldn't answer with words right now.

Well, if he wanted him around, then maybe he did need more contact. It was killing the imp's heart to see his bird like that anyway, this fear had no right to be on the prince's face. So he slowly got closer, careful of the other's body language, until he wrapped his arms and his tail around him.

It immediately helped his breathing, but with the close contact, Stolas quickly putting his arms around the imp too to return the embrace, gripping him like if the imp would shield him from the turmoil he was currently facing. Blitz only felt like the shaking had increased. It probably hadn't, but wow, it was more impressive to feel it than to see it!

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Whatever bothers you, you're fine, you're safe. I'm here to protect you, remember? I'm your personal bodyguard after all."

That… Wasn't exactly true, but the Goetia did ask twice for his help on such matters. He didn't want to think too much about this anyway, he only wanted to help. But this, along with other reassurances, didn't do much to quell his panic attack's symptoms. Time wasn't really helping either, since it didn't seem like it would stop on his own anytime soon.

Out of options, the imp started to rub the owl's back, and he could feel an odd vibration, that wasn't here before. Stolas was still shaking, but it didn't come from him. Actually…

Oh shit, he was purring. He didn't even notice he had started, but when it got loud enough to realize what it was, he also realized it was working: the shaking subsided, until Blitz could barely feel it behind the vibration of his own purring. Stolas' face also looked more calm, more relaxed, though Blitz was pretty sure he still wasn't looking at him.

"You ok in there? Can you hear me?"

Stolas slowly nodded.

"Good. Just, breath okay? Deep and slow, like me."

His breathing was better, but still a bit short, though it wasn't as loud and erratic as before. Blitz exaggerated his own breathing so Stolas could follow his rhythm, until the shaking completely disappeared and the owl ended up with his head back against the wall, looking at the imp's chest to better imitate his breaths, arms still around each other.

They did that for a moment before Stolas blinked, and Blitz could almost see the exact moment the owl truly saw him again for the first time since he arrived here.

Immediately, the prince released him, apologizing profusely as he got up. Before the assassin had the chance to ask what the fuck just happened, the owl turned toward his bookshelves to start searching for the spell he supposedly came here for as he kept speaking to fill in the silence.

Blitz knew very well the Goetia was trying to avoid talking about this panic attack, but he looked flustered enough for the imp to decide to ignore it for now. He could still bring that up later, when Stolas looked better, so he didn't risk throwing him into another panic attack.

But… He did look ok before. He was in a good mood when he answered his call, he even sounded happy, and despite their mess up, he has been eager to help. So what could have triggered such a dive in his mental state?

It wasn't even what worried Blitz the most. Because now that he had seen this side of the prince, he was afraid of what else he had missed when the owl seemed happy. Because obviously, he was good at faking it, with how efficient he had been at concealing his panic attack at first, despite its strength.

Now, the question remaining in the imp's mind was what had put Stolas in such a state.

08/05/2024

Next time will be the same scene with Stolas' pov ;)

See you next week!