Chapter 6
I do not own skip beat! Devilish Nakamura-sensei owns it!
PS: Sooo…I suppose all of you realized it after last chapter…I love sweeter than fluff XD. But well I did tell it in the resume of the fanfic. But now I think I should warn my future lectors a bit more. It's gonna be sweet…like be careful with your teeth haha ^^. It's gonna go angst, it's gonna go drama. But it will have really a lot of Fluff. Most of all because of who the characters are. I'm a veteran fan of skip beat(10 years already) and I was never able to see them otherwise than like two beautiful deeply kind but broken souls. I want to respect the main aspects of the personalities but play with it and make it grow. I've also chosen to become a writer and currently have the first half of a novel written so it's possible that in autumn my updates would be more spaced out as I will be working more on my original story. I will still try to update once a week. But right now I will update as often as I can. Being with Ren and kyoko help me change my focus and have a new breath.
Sorry for the long intro.
What to do
Once the turmoil of her emotions got down and she stopped wanting to assault the sleeping man one way or another all for-
All because he was the source of deeper feelings.
Then Kyoko began to ponder.
She said she wanted to strangle this big idiot of a man. But could she? Not strangling him clearly-
But, could she even talk about it?
About what she discovered…
Ask him about it? Or tell him that she knew?
Kyoko sighed.
She hesitantly reached out with her fingers but couldn't resist the temptation and combed slightly the hair of Tsuruga-san before fluffing them out.
Could she?
He obviously had reasons. Reasons to be Ren Tsuruga. Reasons to hide his true name. Her brain was still in a muddle and her head spinning but slowly she was connecting the dots of both sides. Titbits of what Tsuruga-san told Bo about, bits she guessed by herself while playing the heels and more when she met Corn at Guam. She clearly didn't have every pieces, obviously. Itt was like a giant puzzle where you could begin to make out the general picture of it but with lot of holes left.
But there were several things she still had managed to grasp.
She counted on her fingers.
One, his father: She knew he loved him so when he told her as Corn that his father's wings were too bigs, it wasn't hard to imagine it represented the notoriety his father has as an actor and statute.
She suddenly remembered her times with him at the beginning of Dark Moon, the word he used to director Hirogata.
You are your own person…You aren't like your father…
The majority of what could have happened was evidently blurry but-
But; the pressure.
The pressure to be Hizuri Kuu's son.
She didn't know if she was going on blind in folds right now but it seemed possible. That this reality damaged him if people compared him to his father.
She ruffled her own hair. It was all guesses anyway. She could just try and try to make some things have sense.
She unfolded another finger.
Two: Something happened. Something that convinced him that he was dangerous to others and every people he came close to was bond to suffer-he told her so at Guam- and that persuaded him he didn't deserve to be happy.
Something which might be linked to the word "murderer". Or at least the time she spent with him when on heels' job clued her there was something sensitive around that word.
She frowned at that. No way she could ever believe him capable of that sort of things.
Thirdly: He was fighting himself. She saw him several times. After the car accident with the omuirice omelette, then after some confrontations with Murasame-san.
Everything else was unclear.
So she sort of, had a vague idea of his past now.
She thought she might have figured out the gist of his reasons. And he if was trying to reinvent himself, she was not about to destroy that.
She could understand more than anyone the wish to be different, to find yourself.
And if he decided To Hide To Be, so be it.
Even more, a growing suspicion was diving in her, little by little anchoring itself in her mind. Now that she knew the truth, it was obvious and she wondered how she couldn't see it. Like a certitude crawling in her.
Oh yes Kyoko knew. So yes the men she thought were two different person were in fact one man and share one body and looked pretty much the same. Beside eyes and hairs.
But the thing was, though he's pretending, though he has another identity…
…He doesn't-..look that different. His character. His personality. Maybe it was because she knew now. But if Kyoko thought about it she could see it. Little bit of Corn no Kuon in Tsuruga Ren and little bit of Ren in Kuon.
For example, Co-Kuon seemed to have a mischievous side quite present but she saw it too in Tsuruga-san, had even been victim of it sometimes. Like at Dark Moon party or when he was teasing her endlessly.
Plus, his courteous side to women, she was pretty sure it wasn't made up but just the way his parents educated him.
Ren Tsuruga was supposed to be always composed but she could remember him being reckless and impulsive at some occasions. Like his lack of care for his health typically.
Tsuruga Ren wasn't just an act. Well maybe at first but not anymore. It's like…
-They are intertwined.
Kyoko pondered how it could have happened. From what she knew, Tsuruga-san was still a teenager when he debut so it was fairly possible, maybe, that with time passing, from a teenager to a young adult, maturing…
They blend.
His act start to blend into his personality until some of them became real part of him…
I mean…Corn was still Corn when I saw him…
But he was a lot more composed than before.
Was she reading into things too much? Maybe he was just that good of an actor or fooled them all.
She pouted, frustrated by the lack of certitudes.
It was pure conjectures after all.
But still…
He could totally have shown different sides of his personality later just as a natural process of maturing. Independently of an act or not. It was coherent to think it happened that way because of the circumstances but it was still him.
No matter what she couldn't really separate their personalities like two different people anymore now that she knew.
He is one and only one person for me now. Unique.
Several times she thought they looked alike when they were at Guam. And that's why it was all the more infuriating. Because it wasn't just the look, their behaviours sometimes resembled to the other. Which was another reason it was so bad for her heart. It was subtle things really…Other times he was careful. But sometimes…
His way to express kindness, phrased his words now that she thought about it but most of all what gave him away in retrospective was his sorrow.
It was so blatant. In both cases, a constricted, guilty, self-blaming expression would mare his face…Like he didn't want to exist anymore. Like if he was encompassed in deep, heavy and hurtful rusty shackles.
So if to build a new him and escape…
If to heal, he decided to be someone else; Kyoko had no right to ripped him from that. Guessing the efforts it must have cost.
She took a decision then.
She wouldn't tell him she knew. She would pretend she didn't know a thing about him being Corn or even more Kuon Hizuri.
She couldn't risk reducing his efforts to oblivion out of egoism.
The little she guessed was enough of a reason to not tell anyone and to know what damage it could do if she was nosy.
She would play oblivious.
She would protect his secrets.
Kyoko snorted with self-embarrassment.
She had been for such a long time. Her face coloured with heated self-frustration.
It won't make such a difference…hahaha…
I just hope that…maybe…One day…
One day he will be willing to tell me…
He will be ready and trust me enough to tell me…
Until then…
I know nothing…
Relieved she had been able to make a decision and even, maybe, understand him a bit; she looked at the sleeping beauty on the ground and sighed a bit before calling a taxi.
Now…
How am I going to carry that monster of a man...
Kyoko blinked with a new realisation.
Damn…
Maybe I will even have to take care of Kijima-san…
She tousled her hair viciously and even removing a few strands out of her head.
I'm not Hercules…And those two weighted more than potatoes 'sacks…
It's more like giant sacks of muscles and bones…
The gory image it provided in her head made her wrinkle her nose and she shook her head.
Screw it. It's not my problem if these idiots are covered in bruises tomorrow.
It would serve them right to drink so much and ask a teenager girl to come at their rescue in a club…