CHAPTER 87

I do not own skip beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.

First Trip and Its Wonders: Part 11

His feet sank in the thick powder, crushing it under his steps, and disturbing the even unblemished structure of before. His eyes landed on the cabin, at last, and he protected his eyes from the ever-countless flakes. He was glad they hadn't been too far from it. He had taken the lead to return because he had the best eyes, and if he had laughed on the moment, he wasn't now. They could barely see ten metres around. Snow was falling, and falling. More, and more. Denser. Quicker. With flakes falling by packets of agglomerated tiny structures.

He could hear his friends biting strongly in the powdered ground with their feet. If it was only getting to a third of his, snow was already reaching mid-calves for his friends.

They stepped on the wooden stairs of the cabin with relief, climbing it precociously before tapping off the snow from their boots, and entering the chalet with relief.

Their first impulse, after crowding in, was evidently to check on the others. They knew they most likely hadn't bulged, considering, but they had got the message of Kyoko earlier, asking if they were all okay. That's also how they had learnt the weather had gone down the sourer, and they had decided to go back, to check on Kyoko, Ken and Mei-san – especially after Kyoko hadn't answered their messages after they had replied to her earlier – , and let them know they were fine. Ren hadn't found it very usual for her to not come back to the discussion after that but he knew local and phone networks could be badly disturbed during a storm. And she could also have simply fallen back asleep after that. Though he doubted it, knowing the tone of her messages had been filled with concern.

Momose climbed the stairs in search of Ken but he, himself, was already coming down, waving his phone and saying he had just got Kijima message they were back. He also saw, from the corner of his eye, Airi going up, surely looking for Mei-san. He stepped into the living room, hoping to confirm if Kyoko were napping by the chimney, and already feeling a smile pulls at his lips at the cute sight she would be.

He reached mid-room, circling around the couch to see, and noticed the crumpled cover on the ground, as well as her book. The one he had seen her read before she dropped asleep.

But no sign of her. He frowned. His fingers dived, wrapping around the soft texture of the plaid she had been cuddled in, and he collected it. He felt puzzled for some reason. It was not really her type to be messy. Especially around others, when she was afraid to be a bother. He folded the cover-up carefully before laying it astray on the back of the couch.

She must be upstairs, he thought.

"Kyoko is still napping?"Asked Kijima, with a bemused smile. Ren shook his head.

"She isn't there."He said. "I'll go check her room." He added then and everyone nodded. They didn't seem too worried and honestly him either. For the most part. It was just the lack of replies from her after her messages that puzzled him, somehow. His feet carried him to the stairs but as they stepped on it and brought him further up for each step taken, he felt himself accelerate, a gut feeling seizing inside. One foot after another, carefully, focused on the task. As if his whole body was restraining, afraid to let go and bolt. But uncontrollable as it could, the foreboding fear was there, nagging, begging him to indulge in his worst nightmares. He controlled it, using all his mind to the feeling of moving as his longs legs took the last steps two by two.

He was at her door in an instant, gracing the surface of the wood as he knocked oh-so-softly against its structure. No answer. He did again. Twice.

At last, wondering if she had fallen back asleep here, he breached open the door, hoping he wouldn't be bothering her.

A bed well made, a half-full bag by the window, some scripts neatly piled on the old maroon desk provided in each bedroom, a fairy tale book, the poncho he had gifted her for Christmas; those things were what greeted his seeking gaze as he took a full glance around. The curtains were open and he could see the thick snow and wind blowing wildly outside. The window, thinly tilted, even let out the howling sound of it.

He checked the attended bathroom, then came back. The wind seeping in pushed a chill in his bones as he stood in the middle of her room, staring at her belongings. He closed the window softly, frosty air surrounding his body from the outside in. It needed to warm up.

Empty. Her room was empty.

His legs moved before he felt aware of it, bringing him to each door, one, another. And another. First, the upstairs lounging area, the soundproof room then, one of the other bathrooms. The private bedrooms of each followed, rigorously, without a care of entering the intimacy of everyone.

But nothing.

She wasn't there.

He returned downstairs, slowly. He was breathing harder than usual, taking deeper breaths on purpose, trying to remain rational and control himself. He spotted Airi and Mei-san in the living room, chatting merrily, and he turned his eyes away, making a beeline to the kitchen and ignoring his other friends that addressed him on the way.

Maybe she had been cooking one of her recipes only knew how to make so excellent. But the kitchen was wiped clean, so drastically so even he, could guess she had tidied it today at some point. He opened the fridge, ten new containers of food confirming his suspicions. She must have cooked earlier.

He verified the two other rooms of the ground floor. One was a storage one, the other, an unused room. Maybe she had wanted to train for the choreography and seeing the weather, decided to do it there. But luck wasn't with him.

There was no one.

Which means she was nowhere inside.

She was not in the cabin. She wasn't replying her phone.

His fingers shook with a new urge and he pulled them into fists.

He marched back towards his friends, instantly getting the full attention of Taku, Koga, Kijima and Momose, who could feel instantly that something was wrong upon seeing his face.

He only looked at Ken, however.

"Did you see Kyoko?"

Ken, who had been discussing with Momose and had turned when she had, looked back at him, and shook his head.

"No, why?"

"She is not here."Ren replied hardly. He wanted to shake his friend for answers. No, he wanted to go, to move, to find her. He clenched and unclenched his hands.

Ken frowned, sensing his hostility, he was sure. He did not care.

"What do you mean, she is not here?"

"We didn't get the time to tell you, yet," Intervened Kijima, "but some of us got a text of Kyoko asking if we were okay after she saw the storm coming."

Ken nodded.

"Momose told me as much." He said, however, looking puzzled.

"You don't understand," Kijima said. "We replied to her a few minutes later."

"Yes?"His friend asked, still confused. He clenched his hands again. He didn't like that. He didn't like it at all. His friend wasn't aware of anything.

"And she never answered back, Ken." Koga finished, and actually patting Ren's shoulder. "And now, she is not here, and not replying."

Ken's frown deepened and some understanding made light on his face, but he still asked.

"But I still don't get it. Maybe she went out for a bit."

"Are you stupid or what?"Saki hotly said.

Ren's hands unclenched and clenched again, and he felt Taku on his other flank.

"Ken. There is a big storm out, the kind that got Kyoko-chan worried to not know where we were. There even is a risk of avalanches." Taku said. "She sent us messages, to check on us but when we replied, she didn't. She isn't there, near her phone to know our answers and she doesn't even reply back. And when we come back, she is not there in the cabin. Do you really think she would have got out without a good reason in this situation? Does it look like something she would do? Do you see why it seems like there is a problem?"

Ken shook his head then nodded.

"Are you sure she isn't there? She might in her bed – "

"I checked every room, Ken."Ren said through tight teeth. "Some, even twice."

" … so, are you sure you didn't hear from her?"Kijima interceded. "Think."

Ren saw him as he thought more seriously about it but he shook his head at the end.

"No. I was in the soundproof room most of the time. I went in before you all left, and only moved once, like half an hour after you left. She was still sleeping and Mei was downstairs on her phone. Wait."

"Mei!"He said all of sudden. "You were downstairs, you must know where Kyoko-chan is!"

She shook her head.

"I don't. I went to my room soon after you returned upstairs." She said sweetly. "She was still sleeping at the time, I think. But – "

"Yes?"Kijima pressed and Ren was glad he didn't have to say anything, because he wasn't sure how he would have acted at the moment.

"I did hear the door open and shut at some point later, so."

"So you saw Ren worried his shits out and search the whole place when you knew Kyoko-chan wasn't there?" Momose asked harshly.

She shrugged, and he felt himself twitch.

"I didn't know he was looking for her."She replied casually, and Ren saw Airi-san by her side, freeze, and looking down at Mei with a frown. There was something. Right here. He focused all his attention on her.

By his side, he saw Momose stared at her silently for a whole minute.

"You're lying."She stated.

Mei gasped, looking outraged, but for a split second he saw fear on her face.

"Why would you say this?!"She said, looking exaggeratedly scornful but also sad.

"No, she is right." Saki concurred. "I'm by your room, Mei. But closer to the stairs than you, and I can assure you, even from my room it's already impossible to hear the door. Hell, even in the hall leading to them, you couldn't have heard it, since there are doors closing the corridors for the insulation."She explained. "So, you wouldn't have been able to hear the door from your room."

"I told you all the truth." She protested, standing up with anger. "I don't remember from where exactly I heard her leave, just that I heard her. I know you are all obsessed with her, but it doesn't mean that just because I'm not, I plotted against her."

Heavy silence followed those words. Ren's whole body turned frigid as an old emotion he hadn't felt in years invaded him. Furore.

"I need help."He heard Koga whisper to Kijima from the side but the anger that was slowly filling out his muscles left no room for him to focus on meagre details. His lips let out air he didn't know he had been holding as his muscles turned tenser, harder. Careless of anything but one.

Taku wrapped one arm around his shoulders but he barely felt it. "Hold it. Hold it. We are going to find her. You hear me? Hold it."

His words fell in deaf ears.

"Come again."He said in a hauntingly low voice, and a second later he felt Koga wrapping an arm around his other shoulder. He could hear Kijima babbling nonsense to the others, asking them to step back a little for some bizarre reason, and telling them they didn't get it when their first response was to call him ridiculous. But he didn't care enough to seek inquiry right now. Kijima placed himself in front of him. He could feel his friends touching, trying to comfort him maybe, he didn't know, he didn't feel it. There was only simmering violence in him.

"Come again."He repeated to the suddenly silent, and slightly frightened Mei. She stepped back a little, bumping the couch as she looked into his eyes, and something slipped from her pocket.

He heard Airi gasp. Then her hand went down, picking up two phones from the ground. She turned sorry eyes at him.

"It's Kyoko-chan's phone, Ren."

"Fuck."Koga let out.

"Ren…"Taku said but didn't finish.

He felt the moment his friends tightened their hold on him from afar but swept it away, hefting them, like they weighed nothing, in the air, as he did so, and disengaging him from them in a furious absolute blur.

He was in front of Airi and Mei then, taking delicately the phone she was still holding, in his hand. Verifying with his own eyes it was hers as the little fairy key chain dangled from the turned-off phone.

It was her phone. He put it down on the low table, softly. It was her phone. Right out from the pocket of someone he thought was a friend.

Brouhaha of voices were ringing in his ears but none made sense.

"Shut up."He roared at them, and stunned silence was granted as he turned very cold eyes at Mei.

"Talk."

If she had done anything to her…

She stepped back. He stepped forwards.

"Talk."

His steps closed in again.

"I-I don't see what you mean, Ren-kun, I – "

"You have one minute."He said, ignoring her poor attempt as he cornered her.

"Ren-kun, I – "

"Then, I'll stop being nice."

His voice was such a hushed dark tone anyone could hear the underline threat hidden. But the girl chose to ignore it.

She stepped a little further behind, hitting the wall.

"Why did you have her phone?!"

"Ren-kun, you are scaring me."She whined. Her voice was thick with a high pitch tone, unnatural, and his ears were quick to decipher it was overdone. Yes, she was doing this on purpose. He didn't understand. Neither why she had done nor what her purposes were. Not that he cared at this point. Each time he let his mind wander to envision… His only way was to block the thoughts, and get answers. And he would get them.

"You should be."

"Ren-kun, please…"

"TALK."He roared. He couldn't believe he had been blinded enough to not see. Thinking everyone was safe to trust with her – that at most, Mei was a little immature –, he let a wolf in and it attacked. He shouldn't have been so careless. If she was… If anything… Cold washed in his veins in a growing vague, seizing his heart and holding it captive. Barely letting him release air. A void – that very old friend of him – , was waiting, at bay, ready to welcome him at any moment. But not there yet. Observing. In expectation. Of the second he would fall. After the rampage, the anger. When would only remain despair. When the shell that he would have become wouldn't be able to handle remembrances anymore. When memories of her smile, of her laugh would only be one more shard piercing inside. Pull yourself together. He couldn't. Not right now. He needed to stay focus. He couldn't overreact. He couldn't imagine the worst when she might be completely fine somewhere else, and inside.

She didn't reply, and seconds ticked by. One. Two.

He pushed and pushed until a sombre trembling breath managed out of his lips. Don't panic. Tensing back, he gathered himself.

Three seconds.

Then,

"No."

Crack.

In the ears of everyone, a loud sound echoed as a fist collided into the wall, one hair away from Mei's face. The somewhat former control of the actor had turned to ashes, and anyone could see the murderous gleam in his eyes. Some wanted to intervene but they were too frozen to act. The girl's legs had started to shake and her sweet act was fading, a scowl forming on her face. Kijima's eyes watched the man, a friend he knew so well, swirl and swirl further out of control, and he felt suddenly afraid. Ren was always so pleasant, looking calm and collected around them that it was often hard to understand how far his emotions went. And while it had been fast limpid that he was far less able to keep the pretence around her, that she was even unveiling him to everyone eyes, and farther with each moment they passed together, this was…

The first time, he felt like he was grazing deeper, and actually had a look into how deep his feelings ran. As he started to grasp how bad the situation was, he felt worry increase inside. For Kyoko. And for him. As he was now realizing the influence she had on his friend. He didn't like thinking this but if anything serious had happened … anything… Many people would be sad. Even amongst them, that didn't know her too well, he knew they had already started to get attached to her and consider her a friend. She was so charming and kind after all. Hell, he, himself, knew he would feel like some of the brighter souls of this world had vacated. But him.

"Why do you care so much about this bitch, anyway?" She asked, revealing – at last – her true colours. And the man barely an inch away from her, trembled to not hit her then. "She left for five years. Five years! And when she comes back, you are like a damn puppy with her!"

Plaster fell on the ground as he twisted his fingers. Her smile danced in front of his eyes.

"Talk. Where. Is. She?!"

"I won't tell you!" She shrilled angrily. He snapped.

He grabbed her by the collar in an effortless pull, hosting her up in rage. Then, her body was thrown against the wall with a bang, and maintained there with so much force pressed on her that a larger morsel of platter fell this time. It crumbled down on the ground with, breaking into two as it landed in thud bam.

She shrieked in fear, and twisted wildly but she had no chance to flee.

"Hyaaaaaaaa… Let me go, let me go. Let me go!"

"It hurts. Put me down. Ren-san, please. Please. I lik-"

He grabbed her head by the hair, and she cried out.

"Ren!"

"Ren!"

The man heard his friends call out to him. Ask him to stop. To put her down. To calm down.

"Speak."He said again with a venomous voice filled with disgust.

She looked at him, and clearly she was frightened, but she was determined to not utter a word. And he even caught a smug smile briefly making day on her face. The last shreds of friendship he might have had for her burned into nothingness, and he let the monster out.

" … you think you know me?"He whispered ominously at her. "That you have me figured out? When we barely even talk?!" He laughed sinisterly.

She stilled, listening, and he knew he got her. He smiled wickedly.

" … so, you got a crush on me, huh?"

"Ren…"He heard Airi pleaded weakly but he shook his head. His friend didn't insist.

"You think you have any idea of who is the person in front of you? Do you truly think you would 'like' me if you truly knew me?"

"I can reply to that for you."He murmured with grim joyless smile. "You would not."

Her eyes enlarged at the vile glow of his so bottomlessly dark eyes at this second, fear rising in her pupils. But he continued.

"But do you even care? I'm just a pleasant face to look at, right?"He said with bitter sadistic smile.

"I – "

"Do you even know the monster you have in front of you?"He questioned coldly. "Huh? Do you?"

She shook her head as tears fell down her eyes.

"Did you or did you not trick Kyoko to go somewhere?" He demanded.

She hesitated for a second too long and he pulled at the collar harder until she nodded.

"Where?!"

But she turned her face away. Even then, she refused to speak.

He returned the smile.

"Let me be clear," he whispered, his body radiating hate as she shook in his hold, "I'm going to crush that silly crush of yours so far, you will be terrified of me. Fo — re - ver."

The shadows on his face intensified as he smiled in cold anger, and smirked higher when fright accentuated.

"Let's not even talk about not liking you, shall we?" he said in a murky sweet tone, "it's far greater than this, you disgust me. So much that it's painful looking at you. You have a silly crush on a man you barely know and so you were willing to put in danger another human being. And, if not a friend, at least a friend of a friend. Just for that."He uttered with scorn so vibrant he felt nausea at the back of his throat.

Where is she? Where is she? His mind was singing but he knew now that there was only one way to obtain that answer.

"You are trash. Human trash."He assessed and she jolted. "We weren't ever close but you are friends with Airi, and despite the fact I didn't know you very well, I didn't want to emit a judgement and I was more than ready to consider you a friend."

"But you are that kind of person…"

She starts to cry, sweetly. This wouldn't do. As long as she was able to maintain the facade, it meant she wouldn't talk.

"Ren-san…"

He tightened his hold on hair.

"Tell me."

"O-out."

"WHERE?!"

She shook her head.

"Fine. Let's play, shall we."He said darkly. "You wanna know what type of person I am?"

"…"

"I bet you're curious, huh?"

"…"

"Since you have a disgusting crush on me."

"I'm the kind of person that won't hesitate to hurt you if you don't start talking."

" … why? Why are you like that for her?! She is the one who is trash. You have such big illusions on her. "She shouted. "Do you even know?! Do you know she was raped?! I bet you don't, otherwise you wouldn't, couldn't…" She made a scornful whining sound.

He tightened his hold on her.

"Keep babbling lies, Mei, and I will forget you're a girl completely."He said, not believing a word she just said.

"I'm not lying! I heard Ken and her talked last week!" She shot back at him with a confident disdainful happy grin.

"Just look at him, his face is saying it all!"She screamed with a gleeful cackle.

He hesitated for a half a second but eventually glanced back. One look sufficed. Ken, who was watching them, with deep dark horrified sadness in his eyes. One look at him, and he knew. One look saying the truth.

Pure liquid horror took shape inside as for a morbid second the impact of those words shot in his core. A putrid taste rooted itself on his tongue as rage and sorrow filled him. Frozen on the spot, he shook his head, again and again, again and again. Not now. He locked it away from his mind. Right now, only one thing mattered, finding her.

"Wow…"Koga said in awed revulsion.

He vaguely heard Momose and Saki letting out sobs, but his focus was back on Mei.

"If that's the way you think, you are even worse than I thought…"He said with a pitiful look directed at her.

Focus. Focus. One thing at a time. FOCUS.

Shock filled her face. An opening.

"Mei, Mei, Mei… I will tell you a secret." He said and moving his hand, he placed it around her neck. Not choking but in perfect position to do so, if needed.

"I wouldn't care," – he let out softly – "and just now, it's only in regards to Airi I didn't hit you. Yet."He added to push her farther down into the terror.

Utter incomprehension and fear finally made its way on her face, and he latched on it with a sardonic smile.

"You think you know who Ren Tsuruga is? But it's not even my real name, silly girl."He grinned with false indulgence. "Even most of the people in this room, don't know about it."

He pressed his hand at her neck a little.

"What do you think will happen when this will be over?"He asked sweetly, leaning in towards her face. "I hope you don't think we can be friends again, huh? That will never be possible. I won't ever be able to trust you again." Her lip shook as more understanding was dawning on her.

"Mei… You hurt my girl…"He started very, very softly, showing for a brief second his sparkling smile, "Right now, I want to murder you." His eyes filled with slaughter he desired to execute at this instant and the over-sweet tone of his voice contrasted with his words terrorized every single soul in the room.

Then, and to his pleasure, she tremendously paled. Nearly there.

"Wh-wh-who are you?"

He grinned.

"I see you are starting to understand."

He squeezed a little more her neck, and she looked down in aghast fright.

"You-you wouldn't dare hurt a friend, right, Ren-san?"

"You are not a friend, Mei…"He scoffed in disdain pity, letting it hang in the air before continuing with a sombre tone, pushing her further into the wall.

" … and if you are scared of me, now" – he said in a malevolent but purposely dragged tone – , "oh, please, do not let me find you after…"

" … after?"

He leaned his face to her ear as he murmured the harsh truth in still poisonous fury. And despite the softness of the tone, since they were all silent and in the same room, everyone heard.

"If anything happened to her… Mei-san, anything, you won't even have to worry about your career or – … – having friends. I will come" – he paused – "for your life. I will not care about my own career, I will not care about your life… I will come, and you will regret ever meeting me." And with those words, he pressed harder her neck, barely letting her breath, and she choked a little as she trembled like a leaf in his hold.

"No!"

"You-you are a monster! Help… Someone… Airi, help me!"

But no one came help her.

"Yes. And I will take great pleasure doing so, I promise you, if Kyoko doesn't come back in one piece." He smiled darkly. " .She?"

She shook.

With a sinister face, he added.

"Even if she is fine, Mei-san… After what you did and what you divulged, I promise you I will use my influence to not let you have any career in show business. You have my word on that."

She was sheer as a ghost by now, but she still wasn't talking.

He pressed harder on the trachea, and she couldn't breathe anymore for a second, before he released her neck, but just enough. He did it trice, pressing, releasing, looking at her with controlled furore as he did so.

"A-Airi, please … help."

Airi turned away from her.

SHE NEEDS TO SPEAK.

"WHERE IS SHE!? TELL ME!"

More of the beast came out as his panic rose further inside him for each second ticking by. For each cold flake falling.

"I will love to shred your skin piece by piece while you are still alive." He told her casually, and he suddenly heard a weird sound and looked down, realizing she had just peed herself. He scrunched his nose at the smell and squeezed her neck again.

"I will start doing it now if you don't speak out."He whispered joyfully and she hiccuped hysterically, balling her eyes out and shaking so much he had to cushion it to keep holding her, until…

"I-I- … told h-her y-you wan-wanted to doo a l-last slopee an-and hid her ph-phone … sh-she went to loo-look in that direction…"She mumbled out.

He dropped her, and she fell to the ground, gliding down the wall fast and into the humid puddle as her legs couldn't hold her anymore.

"You-you are hor-horrible…"

He turned around, and was by the door barely an instant later.

He had his coat back, his boots back in record time. His hand launched for the door handle as he felt the presence of his friends.

"We are coming." Koga said.

"No."

"Dude, you are not thinking rationally right now, you need our help. Come on." Kijima said. "You didn't even put back gloves." He added as he presented them to him.

"We will be able to cover more ground if we are several." Softly let out Taku and he wavered, and nodded, at last.

"Saki is calling the mountain emergency service right this moment to warn them to start looking for her." Taku added, and he guessed things were happening in the background. He placed a firm hand on his tense shoulder and moved closer to him, whispered in the lowest tone. "We will find her. Control yourself. You need to, right now. For her. You hear me? Hold it together, Kuon. For her."

He nodded, and unexpectedly managed to release his breath out, his vision easing out of the tunnel a little. For her.

Then, Taku added, louder.

"We will find her. Also, I barely know her and I already grasped how strong she is. She will not go down without a fight. It will be alright."

He nodded again.

The door closed behind them as they entered the storm.

PS: Well, well, well... This was one kind of rollercoaster. I really hope you will still enjoy it. I tried to be as coherent as possible and work between every aspect that needed to happen as careful as i could. So i hope, you will be satisfied. Also, i know, in some ways, you won't. Please, don't kill me? This needed to happen. Anyway. I hope you are all well and healthy and happy. Lot of kisses. Feed me with reviews, i love them. Also, thank you for all the people sending me reviews and comments. I know i don't always reply but i'm deeply touched by them.

Okay, i'll stop babbling and let you endure. Again, lot of kisses.

Mimagfan.

AUTHOR OUT.