A/N: Revised as of 3/24/2024.

Call upon us, should you need our services. Master~!

Is what Maria and Morrigan had told Naruto before he left the shop.

Two Succubus servants… He now had TWO Succubus servants.

Naruto had been so surprised by this that he even forgotten to reclaim his long-lost jacket once again.

He didn't want any servants, nor did he need any. Especially when he had just deemed one a friend and the other simply wanted to seduce him for his non-existent "true form".

It didn't matter how hard they pled, he would not give in to such desires!

. . .

What? Naruto Uzumaki was not that easy of a man!

Any other man would break their necks to be in the situation he was in, and Naruto was fully aware of this fact. But there was no way he would be able to call upon the two girls for their services!

It was the moral thing to do!

Accepting them would be unfair to all men!

You'd be taking advantage of them!

…These were the excuses Naruto found himself thinking since leaving the secret Succubus shop.

Because what exactly did he have to lose? They were the ones who forced this apparent contract onto him, and they actually seemed to want him for who he was. At least Maria seemed to be this way.

The more Naruto thought about the situation, the more he realized he had very little reason to refuse them.

"Cheers!" x3

Megumin, Aqua, and Darkness shouted in unison, bringing Naruto back to reality.

They were all seated in the mansion's dinning hall table, a large feast spread out in front of them.

Kazuma had invited Naruto over for dinner to thank him for helping out with his party's debt. But apparently, Darkness's family had sent them a crab feast to congratulate them on moving into the mansion.

"What's the matter, you two? Is Marbled Red Crab not to your liking?"

Darkness asked worriedly when she noticed Naruto and Kazuma were staring off into space.

"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering how the crab was going to taste. It's been so long since I've eaten seafood…"

Kazuma lied, because he was anxious for his Succubus service tonight since he didn't know what to expect. Never in his dreams did he imagine such an amazing service could exist in this blasphemous world!

"N-no, of course it is! Sorry… This is actually the first time I've ever been invited over to a friend's home for dinner, so I was just a little nervous."

Naruto replied while scratching at his whisker marks awkwardly, and he technically wasn't lying. Not once in his years did he eat dinner under another person's roof when he was home back in the Konoha.

"Well you're more than welcome to stay the night if it gets too late."

Darkness offered with a genuine smile, earning a nervous nod from the shinobi.

"Sheesh… You sound like Yunyun right now. No wonder you two get along so well."

Megumin chimed as she grabbed one of the many crabs and cracked a leg open, revealing its fluffy pink meat.

"You could have invited Yunyun as an apology for picking on her earlier, ya know?"

Naruto said with a twitching eyebrow. Weren't those two supposed to be childhood friends? From all the stories Yunyun had told him about their past, and despite how cruel Megumin acted sometimes, Naruto could tell those two really cared for one another.

"I did mention we were having a special dinner tonight, but all she said was 'Is that so?' and 'How nice'. Honestly, what am I going to do with that dishonest child?"

Megumin shook her head before slurping the crab right out if its shell and squealed in delight at its marvelous flavor, which caused the others to dig into their own plates.

Breaking the shell of his own crab legs and taking a bite, Naruto's eyes shot open when the meat seemingly melted in his mouth. Out of all the food he had consumed since coming to this world, this was by far the most delicious thing he had tasted.

"You know, I've been wondering for awhile now… But where did you come from, Naruto? If you don't mind me asking of course!"

Darkness asked, and quickly added the last bit when Naruto sent her a questioning look. She knew more than anyone that asking about someone's past could be a touchy topic.

"*Slurp!* Well, I came from a village of ninjas! The Village Hidden in the Leaves!"

Naruto stated proudly before going back to scarfing down as much crab as he could.

"That's another thing I've been meaning to ask, but what's a ninja?"

"!"

When Darkness asked her second question, Naruto almost choked on his crab and had to pound at his chest to force it down.

That's right, he almost forgot the majority of this world's population didn't know what a ninja was. Everyone he mentioned the term to either thought he was a weirdo, or just didn't care about what he was saying. Sometimes both.

The Crimson Demons knew what ninjas were due to Jiraiya's influence, so he didn't have to explain anything to Yunyun. He guessed Dust and Cecily were among those who simply didn't care…

"A ninja is a warrior from my home country who specializes in stealth, much like a thief. But ninja mainly focus on gathering information or swift assassinations from the shadows."

Kazuma chimed in as he watched Naruto desperately take in air.

"Oh? Naruto and Kazuma came from the same country? Did you two know each other back then as well?"

Darkness asked, intrigued as to learn about the two boy's pasts since they rarely spoke of it, if not at all.

"No! I'm from a country called the Elemental Nations! A nation of ninja and samurai! But for some reason, Kazuma doesn't believe me!"

Naruto shouted while pointing at Kazuma with an accusing finger, but his fellow male simply rolled his eyes.

Oh, that was strike one…

"Yeah, yeah… We know you like say that-"

"No, he's telling the truth Kazuma. I used to watch over that world so I could watch awesome ninja battles!"

Aqua interjected, causing the brown-haired boy to gawk.

"Eh? What do you mean? There's actually another world out there besides mine?"

Kazuma leaned over to the goddess and pressed for answers, but he was ignored as Aqua turned to face the shinobi.

"But more importantly, I learned something interesting today! Naruto apparently had a girlfriend back at his old home… Her name was Sakura!"

Aqua revealed with a smug look on her face.

All eyes snapped to Naruto, who blinked in surprise.

"E-eh? H-how did you-Cecily told you, didn't she!"

Naruto stuttered when the trio of woman all smirked at him. He began sweat. There was only one thing that rivaled the fear that came from an angry woman, and that was a woman who just found out they now had dirt on you.

"What kind of a girl was she?"

"How did you two meet?"

"What did you do to make her dump you?"

"S-shut up! We were never dating to begin with! Also, why am I the one being dumped!?"

Naruto barked when the girls attacked him with a barrage of questions. He looked to Kazuma for help, only to find the guy smirking along with his party members.

Oh, that was strike two…

"Eh~? How boring."

"But I guess it was to be expected."

"Yeah, this is Naruto we're talking about."

"Are you picking a fight with me!? I'm beginning to see why Kazuma says it's okay to attack you three!"

Not just Kazuma, but now these problem children were getting on Naruto's nerves. But he would let it go for the sake of this delicious crab… For now, at least.

"Kazuma, can you light this up. I want to show you all a good way to drink this!"

Aqua suddenly asked while gesturing to a miniature cooking grill in front of her.

"Sure thing… Tinder!"

Kazuma responded and held his hand out, and a small flame surged forward and lit a small fire under the mini-grill.

"Woah… When did you learn how to do that?"

Naruto asked, awed that Kazuma had performed an elemental technique, albeit a small one, without weaving any hand seals. Magic really was something.

"Fufu… I haven't been idling around these past few weeks. While you were out looking for girlfriends and monster rabbits, I wandered around town in search for powerful magic to spend my skill points on."

Kazuma explained while holding his hand out and grinning widely. It wasn't often he managed to impress the shinobi, so a little bragging once in a while didn't hurt.

"I learned Beginners Magic from a friendly wizard, Blacksmithing from the local black smith, and Drain Touch from Wiz!"

"Oh yeah, Wiz mentioned you and Aqua visited the store a couple days ago… I had to give her some of my mana because she was starting to disappear."

Naruto noted and looked over at Aqua sternly, prompting the girl to avert her gaze.

"A-anyways, this is what I wanted to show guys! Behold! The ultimate way to drink wine with crabs!"

Aqua professed as she poured some wine into an empty crab shell, then proceeded to place the now-filled shell onto her lit grill. After a short while, the wine began to bubble under the heat of the flame.

Seemingly satisfied with the wine's bubbly reaction, Aqua picked up the crab shell and took a small sip.

"Ah…"

She sighed in ecstasy as the mixed flavors of wine and crab went down her throat, a small puff of steam escaping her mouth.

Upon seeing this, everyone gulped.

Kazuma lit the miniature grills on his side of the table before he filled his own crab shell with alcohol. He knew full well how hard it was to please that goddess of wine when it came to alcoholic beverages, so there was no way in hell was going to miss out on this!

But just as the boy was about to take a sip, his hand froze.

'Wait! I can't!'

Kazuma thought when the words of the Succubus came to mind.

If you drink too much alcohol the night before, we won't be able to give you dreams~!

That's right! He still had the Succubus dreams tonight! That damned goddess was trying to swindle him of the one thing he found himself looking forward to in this world!

"Hey, Aqua! Let me try some too!"

Megumin pleaded for the priestess to pass her the wine bottle, but Aqua shook her head firmly.

"Sorry Megumin… But this stuff isn't for children~!"

Aqua chimed as she held the bottle closely to her chest, but Megumin wasn't giving up that easily and she all but pounced on the older woman.

"You already had enough for one night! Let me have a little!"

"No way… *Hic!* I still need more to feel that buzz~!"

As the two girls fought over the wine bottle, Naruto let out a sigh after drinking the delicious crab wine. He may not drink alcohol that often, but tonight was a celebration so he decided to at least try it once and was glad he did. The stuff was pretty good. But his attention was drawn to Kazuma when the boy suddenly pushed out his chair and stood up.

"Kazuma?"

Darkness sent her party leader a questioning glance.

"I'm afraid it's time for me to take a bath and go to sleep. Thank your family for me, will you Darkness?"

Kazuma said and gave Darkness a slight bow before he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

"Kazuma was acting kind of strange tonight… I wonder if the crab wasn't to his liking after all?"

Darkness mumbled to herself while smiling sadly.

This caused Naruto to frown, because he knew exactly why that man was acting the way he was.

Alright, that was strike three for Kazuma.

How could he choose those stupid dreams over enjoying a delicious meal with his friends? If Naruto was in his shoes, he'd-

Well, he certainly didn't want to be in Kazuma's shoes, but…

Shaking his head, Naruto looked at the somber look on Darkness's face to reinforce his anger.

"Don't worry Darkness, I'll get back at Kazuma for you! I've got the perfect prank too!"

"I would appreciate it if you'd save those pranks for me-Wait, what is that you're holding?"

Darkness asked when she saw Naruto pull a small bag out of his pocket.

"Oh, this? It's a bag of Tokoroten Slime I confiscated from Cecily earlier today. I was going to throw it away, but I think I'll throw it into Kazuma's bath… Fufufu… I wonder how he'll react when he finds himself trapped in jelly… Hahahaha!"

Naruto described his plan before he started laughing in a way that befitted that of a devil.

"I really like this dark side of yours, but as a holy knight, I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate that bag from you."

The Crusader rebuked with a minor blush on her face as she plucked the bag from the shinobi's hands.

"Hahaha-h-hey! Give that back!"

Naruto demanded and leaned over to try and retrieve his stolen goods, but Darkness kept him back by outstretching her other arm.

"I'm sorry, but Tokoroten slime is illegal in this country. I'll be dropping this off to the police tomorrow after scolding Cecily. Well then, I bid you all good night."

Darkness lectured firmly before she too stood up from her chair and left the room, leaving a sulking Naruto and the two girls who were still fighting over the wine bottle.

This would not do…

"Hey, Aqua. Which room is Darkness's?"

"What's this? Looking for a night raid? Sorry, but Darkness is my party member. I won't allow you to sneak into her room to steal her panties!"

Aqua responded, and Megumin nodded along in agreement.

"N-no! I just want to get my slime back! That just happened, y'know!"

Naruto snarled back. Honestly, what was with that girl and immediately assuming the worst in him!?

Also, stealing panties? Seriously?

Just how softcore was Aqua's imagination? Megumin, he could understand. She was still just a kid. But it was like stealing panties was the worst thing a man could do to a girl in Aqua's eyes.

"Megumin?"

Naruto turned his attention to the little girl, and she rubbed her chin in thought.

"Hm… I guess I can share this information with you. But only if you clear the table first! You are our guest tonight, so it's only fair if you're the one to do dishes!"

The Crimson Magic Demon exclaimed while pointing at the shinobi. Kazuma and Darkness had pulled a fast one on them by leaving early, but now she wouldn't have to do the dishes either!

A full-proof plan befitting the genius of the Crimson Magic Clan!

"Nice one, Megumin!"

Aqua chimed, and the two girls high-fived each other.

Naruto facepalmed. He fell right into that one.

Oh well, it was a small price to pay for him to get his pranking tool back. Besides, Iruka always told him it was polite to offer to wash dishes when you were someone's guest.

Later…

Naruto stood just outside of Darkness's room, his ear pressed against the door. He could hear the sound of her footsteps walking from one side of the room to the other.

Was she pacing? Maybe she couldn't sleep…

Then, the sound of the footsteps grew closer and the doorknob began to twist.

Just before the door opened, Naruto appeared at the other end of the hallway and around the corner without so much as making a sound. He had left all of his gear in the guest room Aqua had showed him to, leaving him in his white t-shirt and orange shorts, so he didn't have to worry about making any excess noise.

Darkness poked her head out as if to check if anyone was out there before she emerged out of the room, now clad in her pink night gown, and walked towards the dining hall. She was probably going to check to see if the dishes had been done.

As soon as Darkness passed his location, Naruto dropped down from the ceiling and made his way to her room.

The door seemed to be locked, but he was prepared for as much.

'I wonder if she caught Kazuma sneaking into her room before?'

Naruto thought as he fished a lock pick out of his pocket and made short work of the lock. He didn't have much time, so he had to find the loot and get out of there asap.

After closing the door behind him, Naruto was surprised to find himself in a rather normal looking room. The bed was centered along the wall, and a mannequin that bore Darkness's adventuring armor stood next to it. A lamp sat on top of a side table next to the bed that kept the room lit enough for him to see fairly well.

'Better stay away from the dresser if possible. Now… If I were Darkness, where would I hide my confiscated items?'

Naruto thought as he began to search the room for the Tokoroten slime.

Kazuma was more than likely finished with his bath, but this was more of a pride thing now. No one confiscated Naruto's pranking tools! No one!

But after a couple minutes of searching, he found nothing.

"Darkness was wearing a night gown, so she likely didn't have it on her person when she left the room… So it has to be in here somewhere… Hm?"

As Naruto mumbled to himself, he noticed something rather odd while looking underneath the girl's bed. One of the floor boards was a slightly different shade than the others.

Giving it a few light taps, Naruto's suspicions were confirmed when he heard a hallow sound.

'Bingo…'

The teen thought with a smirk as he lifted the faulty floor board and reached inside to find a box.

Upon opening the box-

"What the heck are these…!?"

Naruto muttered when he pulled the lid off of the box and saw a bunch of oddly shaped objects.

It was then he realized the mistake he had made.

"!"

A sharp gasp came from the door, and Naruto turned to see Darkness staring at him, or more specifically the box, with wide and teary eyes.

"N… N… N…"

The Crusader stammered as she was at a complete loss for words. Her face burned bright red, all the way up to her ears and then some. Which was to be expected.

After all, Naruto had just opened Pandora's Box.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'M SORRRRRYYYYY!"

A/N: Aye, Naruto… There is a line that a man should not cross, and you have just crossed it… May he rest in peace.

See you in the next one!

Spirit out!