A/N: Revised as of 3/28/2024.

Boom!

A deafening explosion cracked at the center of a clearwater lake, throwing up countless droplets of water into the air as it created a beautiful rainbow.

"…What am I doing?"

Kazuma muttered to himself as the water fell on him like a midday shower.

Here he was, in a real fantasy world full of magic and monsters, and all he'd been doing for the past couple days was going on his "scenic walks" with Megumin so the girl could let off her daily Explosion.

In other words, he was completely wasting his time.

Megumin, who was laying on the now wet grass, let out a satisfied sigh.

"Do you see that rainbow, Kazuma? My Explosion magic created that rainbow… Isn't it beautif-"

"THIS IS WRONG!"

"!"

Mansion...

"Let's go to a dungeon."

"I refuse."

Kazuma and Megumin sat at one of the tables at the adventurer's guild. After making his suggestion, the girl instantly refused.

"…I want to do something fantasy-like, so we're going."

The boy stated firmly, finalizing his decision as the party leader.

"I don't want to! I can't use my Explosion magic in a dungeon, so I'll be just like a civilian in there! Besides, Darkness is gone, and Aqua has been disappearing in the morning, so it would just be the two of us!"

Megumin cried out with teary eyes as she held her staff close to her chest.

"You know, I firmly remember you offering to carry our bags in exchange for a spot in this party."

"!"

While Megumin struggled to think of a comeback, Kazuma became lost in thought.

As annoyed as he was with his useless mage, Megumin did have a point. Aqua was acting rather strange as of late.

'I guess I should confront that goddess and set her straight.'

The Next Morning…

It was around seven o'clock in the morning, about four hours before that HikiNEET woke up. That's why Aqua decided to wake up and leave at this time, so she could head out without having to worry about that man complaining about her leaving again.

Aqua had just walked down the stairs and was reaching for the door handle when a voice called out to her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Aqua stiffened before she turned around to find both Kazuma and Megumin sitting at the dining table

"I'm going out. I'll be back later tonight, so don't wait for me for dinner."

The goddess responded and was about to leave again when Kazuma walked over to the door and closed it.

"Wait. I decided that we're going to explore a dungeon today, so we need your support."

This was sure to reel her in. This girl was always a sucker for compliments. Any second now and she'll probably eagerly ask when they were leaving-

"Don't wanna."

Aqua interjected and removed Kazuma's hand from the door, shattering the boy's confidence to pieces.

"Aqua, we're worried about you… You're always leaving in the morning and don't come back until late at night. Just what have you been doing?"

Megumin asked and placed a hand on the bluenette's shoulder with a concerned look on her face.

"I found someone who finally treats me like the goddess I am. So, if you'll excuse me… Hey, let go Megumin."

Aqua started struggling against Megumin's grasp, but the little girl held firm.

"I refuse! How could I let you go out into the cold looking like that!? Is it a boy!? I'll set him straight for trying to seduce my party member!"

"Annoying! Why are you two pestering me so much? What I do with my spare time is none of your business! Let me go! Let me go, I say!"

'What is this… Some sort of TV drama?'

Kazuma thought with deadpanned expression as he watched both Megumin and Aqua squabble like a mother confronting their rebellious teenage daughter.

Then, just like that, something seemed to click in Aqua's head. She relaxed, her demeanor now more refined and mature as she stared at the two with an almost pitiful expression.

"You're right… It is a boy. But I guess the two of you are too young to understand why I must go."

"!" x2

Kazuma and Megumin flinched, the priestess's words cutting deep.

Taking advantage of their surprised states, Aqua rushed out the door.

. . .

"Hey, Kazuma."

"Yes?"

"As that child's guardians, we need to properly look out for her."

"Are you really trying to act like her mother, now!?"

It took them a couple of minutes, but they eventually caught up with Aqua when she had slowed to a walk upon entering the town's main street.

The mansion was only a few minute's walk from the main part of town, yet Aqua had been running the entire time. Was she that excited to see whoever she was going to visit?

"I'm surprised… Aqua's a lot faster than I-Hey! Stop breathing so loudly, she's going to hear us!"

Megumin scolded the man who was currently holding his knees and dying for breath, but Kazuma couldn't even answer as he was wheezing hard to even mutter curses.

Damn his shut-in ways in the past for his lack of stamina! Damn this little girl for having a higher level than him, and finally, damn that goddess for being so damn stubborn!

"Huff… Huff… Okay... I'll use my Lurk skill so she doesn't notice us."

Kazuma said when he finally caught his breath and placed a hand on Megumin's shoulder. The two then proceeded to follow Aqua through the streets of Axel.

"Hey, Kazuma? Don't you think that Aqua is a little too happy right now?"

Megumin whispered to her companion, who nodded his head in agreement.

"Just what is that girl up t-"

Kazuma stopped midsentence pulled Megumin to the side and into an alleyway when Aqua suddenly stopped and looked in their direction suspiciously.

"Damn that woman… Why does she only have good intuition during times like this! Use that skill during our quests-Guh!"

Kazuma held his ribs when Megumin suddenly elbowed him in the stomach.

"What was that for!?"

"For manhandling a maiden out of nowhere!"

Megumin barked while dusting herself off, a tint of red in her cheeks.

Sheesh… Talk about ungrateful. If Aqua caught them, then their espionage was over. Didn't Megumin understand that?

But Aqua was definitely acting suspiciously. Just who was she so happy to visit at this hour? She was a beauty at first glance, but hardly anyone could stand being around that girl for more than a couple minutes due to her problematic personality.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! Aqua just entered that inn!"

Megumin almost shouted while pointing towards a medium sized building with a lot of windows.

'Hm? Why would Aqua enter an inn so early in the morning? She lives in a mansion, so there's no reason for her to rent out a room-'

Kazuma and Megumin looked at each other with wide eyes.

"It really is a man!" x2

Sneaking their way down the halls, Kazuma and Megumin were just about to turn a corner when they caught sight of a hint of blue. Hiding behind the corner, they peeked their heads out just in time to see Aqua unlocking the door that she had stopped at and walk in.

"She has a key to one of these rooms? It really is a man, isn't it…?"

Megumin mumbled and fell to her hands and knees dejectedly. Right now, Aqua of all people was climbing the stairway to adulthood. What a cruel world this was…

"Don't jump to conclusions, Megumin. It's times like this that people tend to misunderstand the situation. I refuse to fall prey to such stereotypical circumstances."

Kazuma claimed with his arms crossed defiantly. That's right, if they jumped to conclusions and confronted Aqua about this later and ended up being wrong, the girl would hold it against them for days to come!

He couldn't, no, he refused to let Aqua have a win like that!

"You're right! If it really is a man, then we must test his worthiness! Only those who can withstand my Explosion magic are worthy of my party members!"

Megumin bounced back up and claimed as she held her head high.

"No… You're setting your standards too high. Anyone who can meet those conditions would be a monster."

Kazuma retorted before making his way over to the room that Aqua had just entered. Megumin was with him, so it was alright to eavesdrop… Right? She was just watching him contently, so this was okay… Right?

"H-hey, can you hear anything? W-what's going on in there?"

Megumin whispered while fidgeting around with a minor blush on her face.

'If you're that nervous about this, then just go home.'

But even though he thought that, Kazuma was feeling nervous too. After all, who knew what Aqua was doing in this room right now?

"When is he coming back?"

"I don't know, maybe later this evening? He did say he was going on a quest. I'm just glad that he didn't ask me to come along. My body can only take so much…"

Just like that, and Kazuma's worries vanished. There was definitely only girls in there. The first voice was unmistakably Aqua's, and he slightly recognized the second voice but couldn't quite recall who it belonged to.

He was glad that Aqua wasn't crossing the line right now, but who were they talking about?

"Next time I see him, I'll be sure to tell him to give you a proper break. He'll do anything I say if I do something nice for him."

"Please do! I know I said I'd pay back my debts with my body, but that man's stamina is a force to reckoned with! He tries to make me work every day!"

Kazuma gulped. Doing something "nice"? Paying with their body?

What kind of conversation was this!?

"Kazuma… Why are you making such a scary face? What's going on in there!?"

Megumin whispered with her hands to her mouth, but Kazuma ignored her and kept listening.

That's right, now wasn't the time to overreact. He was probably just misunderstanding something. Just keep listening…

"You know, he gave me a shoulder massage when I got a cramp while we were playing the other day. That man is a bit of a perv, but he is quite a good host."

"Right? He's such a little cutie… I requested his services one day after a long day of helping with the church's remodeling, and he freaked out when the bleeding wouldn't stop."

Kazuma's eyes became saucers, and he turned to see Megumin, who finally managed to gather the courage to put her ear to the door, staring back at him with a similar expression.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! What did she mean by that!? What couldn't stop bleeding!?"

Megumin whispered a little too loudly, her once blushing face now ghastly pale.

Before Kazuma could tell the mage to lower her voice, they heard a series of footsteps from within the room.

"Ah! Hold that thought, Aqua-sama! My loli-senses are tingling!"

What the-

Swoosh!

"Is there a lolita out here who wants to play with this Onee-san!?"

Cecily shouted after swinging the door open. But when no one answered, she took a look around the hallway to find that there was no one there.

"Aww… That's a bummer."

"Come one, Cecily! Let's play a game to pass the time until Naruto gets back!"

Aqua's voice called from inside the room.

"Okay, Aqua-sama~!"

Cecily chirped before slamming the door closed, and all was silent in the hallway. The only noise being the laughter coming from the room that Cecily and Aqua were in.

Those two were awfully noisy in the early morning.

Hiding around the corner, Kazuma let go of the breath he had been holding and sighed.

"That was a close one-Guh!"

The boy grunted when Megumin elbowed him again. His poor ribs...

"Not once, but twice you manhandled me today! Learn some class, you brute!"

Megumin hissed with a steamy face.

Kazuma's face twisted at his party member's irrational behavior, but he bit his tongue. Arguing here would only get them caught.

"Although, I'm glad that Cecily didn't find me. That woman is the type that claims to want a loli harem, and she smothers me for whatever reason."

The Crimson Demon added, shuddering at her past experiences with the Axis Cultist.

"…Heh."

"Ah! You just snickered, didn't you!?"

Megumin shouted, her features brimming with frustration and embarrassment.

"Hey, where are you going Cecily?"

"Sorry, Aqua-sama! I think I just heard a cute lolita in need!"

—After evacuating from the inn to avoid being caught, Kazuma and Megumin stopped at a local park to catch their breath.

"To think Cecily had a personality like that… It's a real shame too."

Kazuma muttered under his breath, but it was more to himself. Cecily was a beautiful girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, along with a decent figure that her nun's attire did little to hide. But it was clear as day that the woman was lolicon, full and through.

Not to mention that the woman was in a debt that she had collected, one that he was paying for due to the "goddess" that she followed. Did she know about Aqua's ctrue identity?

"You have my condolences, Naruto…"

"Speaking of Naruto… Aqua mentioned his name, didn't she? Do you think that was his room?"

Megumin asked her party's leader. If that was true, then she would have to teach that man a lesson.

"It would explain why Aqua's been acting so strange lately… But let's not jump to conclusions. Naruto isn't the type of person to juggle women, so let's just go and ask him ourselves."

Kazuma said, and Megumin idly nodded while cracking her knuckles.

Was she even listening to him?

Figuring that Naruto would be at Wiz's shop at this hour, Kazuma and Megumin walked up to the small steps that led to the entrance.

The shop must have been closed as the door wasn't open for customers, that and the "Open" sign was nowhere to be seen.

Megumin's first action was to creep up the stairs and rest her ear against the door. Whatever nervousness she had earlier was long gone.

"What are you doing? It's just Naruto and Wiz in there, and I know for a fact that nothing is going on in there."

Kazuma said as he casually walked up the steps. He was about to knock on the door when Megumin grabbed his hand and brought him down to her level.

"What are you-"

"Shh! Listen…"

Megumin hissed before she went back to listening.

Rolling his eyes, Kazuma placed his ear on the door. Oh, so she could manhandle him, huh? What a load of-

"A-am I doing it right?"

"Yeah, grab it nice and firmly with your hands and squeeze…"

"Like this…?"

"N-no! That's too hard!"

"Kyah! I-it got in my eyes…"

Kazuma and Megumin shared one look, both thinking the same thing.

Bam!

"What the hell is going on here!?" x2

"!" x2

The two burst through the door and shouted, causing Naruto and Wiz to jolt in surprise.

But the moment Kazuma saw what they were doing, he realized he had screwed up.

Naruto and Wiz were standing at the center table, both wearing cooking aprons. Their arms seemed to be covered with white powder as their hands moved around inside of the two bowls that sat in front of them along with other cooking utensils.

No matter how you looked at it, Naruto was simply teaching Wiz how to make ramen.

"Ah! My door…! I just had it replaced last week because someone placed a holy enchantment on it as a prank…"

Wiz moped as she rushed over to the entrance, the door frame where the lock once was now in splinters.

"Kazuma? Megumin? What are you guys doing here?"

Naruto asked with a frown while glancing at the now sobbing shopkeeper.

"S-sorry… Megumin and I-"

Kazuma started but was interrupted by his partner in crime.

"Kazuma thought you were juggling women after he eavesdropped on Aqua and Cecily in your room, so he came here to set you straight!"

Megumin shouted and averted her gaze when Kazuma glared at her.

T-this girl! How dare she try and throw him under the bus!

"So that's what happened… Well, it's true that Aqua did get a cramp after we played Twister. I felt bad since I cheated by having my clone spin the wheel hard enough to make it land on a difficult spot for her, so I offered to give her a shoulder rub to make up for it."

Naruto explained to the two adventurers who kneeling were on the floor, seiza-style.

Kazuma raised an eyebrow. They had the game Twister in this world? He'd have to keep that in mind for the next time one of the girls pissed him off. He could use his Steal skill while they were in an awkward position and… Actually, no. Putting Darkness aside, that sounded like a road to a quick death.

"B-but! What about Cecily! Why was she bleeding after coming to you f-for your 'services'?"

Megumin further questioned while struggling to look the blonde in the eyes.

"Oh, that? Cecily had a nasty splinter, and when I pulled it out, she started bleeding a lot. I guess I did overreact a little bit, it's a little embarrassing…"

Naruto admitted while scratching at his whisker marks awkwardly.

Megumin blinked upon hearing this revelation.

"I can't tell who the bigger idiot is… Me for believing that you were a player or you for being such a wimpy man."

"H-hey! I don't want to hear that from a girl who's only good for one mediocre attack in a fight!"

Naruto barked, and Megumin was instantly in his face.

"How can you say that Explosion magic is mediocre when it's the most powerful offensive magic in the entire world!? Did that junk food go to your head!?"

"Call my ramen junk food one more time, and I'll tell Cecily to replace all your napkins with Axis Cult recruit forms!"

To put a stop to their pointless bickering, Kazuma placed an arm on Naruto's shoulder.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I got a favor to ask. Can you convince Aqua to come with us? I got first dibs on a dungeon exploration quest and since Darkness is still gone, and Megumin can't use her magic inside a place like that…"

Kazuma trailed off when his party member started glaring daggers at him.

Naruto sent a triumphant smirk to Megumin, who averted her gaze with a pout. He then turned back to Kazuma with a foxlike grin.

"Sure, but only if you take me with you! I haven't explored a dungeon yet, and I think Yunyun could probably use a break today. She's been really tired these past few days. I guess going on quests everyday is taking its toll on her."

The shinobi added, prompting the Crimson Demon to perk up again at the mentioning of her self-proclaimed rival.

"What kind of quests are you going on that could make Yunyun so tired?"

Megumin asked because as much as she hated to admit it, Yunyun was the second best in their school. Second to her, of course. But Yunyun's magic reserves were no joke, so the thought of her not recovering from doing a single quest with Naruto around sounded a little fishy.

"…Could it be that you took advantage of Yunyun's trusting nature and crossed the line-"

"No! I would never do something like that!"

Naruto heatedly denied, his ears burning bright red.

Kazuma sighed. Did this girl learn nothing? He assumed it was because Yunyun was involved, but still… Oh well… It'll be reassuring since Naruto was coming along.

Hopefully, he'll be able to convince Aqua.

A/N: Now I'm imagining a scene with the KonoSuba cast in an actual soap opera.