Chapter 31: The Scroll

The princess and I continued to go to the magician's study. Jasmine even went with me as Rajah during lunchtime to sneak in some more reading time. We had no new ideas about the mystery of Jafar's flight, but we did start to understand Jafar and the study more.

Over the course of a few weeks, we found out the orb and hourglass upstairs were used for fortune telling and that Jafar's clothes were probably made of something called fidelis strands which increase the appearance of trustworthiness. Jafar's staff had been capable of mind control. Even the ink he used had probably been enchanted with persuasion.

Yesterday we had made our most important discovery yet. We finally figured out how the study was organized. Apparently, this study used an ancient Ghamese system. Jasmine had practically squealed at the discovery because it meant we did not have to search around haphazardly anymore. Jasmine was able to locate more scrolls on the Cave of Wonders and I found some scrolls on lapis lazuli and the Durgara faith.

I was currently sitting at the small desk in the upper study and reading a scroll that described lapis lazuli and a few other blue gemstones. Unfortunately, the section on lapis lazuli had nothing of note.

I sighed. This was the sixth scroll I had read tonight. Neither the Durgara texts nor the scrolls on gemstones had yielded anything useful so far.

For the sake of thoroughness, I quickly began to skim through the rest of the scroll. Then I stopped skimming and slowly reread the passage I had just read.

The scroll began to shake as my hands gripped the wood handles. I knew I should read it again, but I couldn't see it anymore. I couldn't see anything or sense anything beyond my rage. My whole body shook with it.

All I wanted to do was: Find Jasmine. Take her hair. Rip out all those damn ribbons. And shred them with my bare hands, like some sort of monster.

I couldn't do that so I didn't move. I sat in my chair, trying to hold myself together like I so often had to do as a tiger. I felt like a tiger now. Snarling with fangs and claws, ready to hurt someone. I didn't want to listen to reason. Reason said I needed to calm down. It said that getting angry would help no one and that I needed to go inform Jasmine about the scroll.

Each rational argument was like a rain drop trying to douse an inferno. The fact I knew I was being illogical and idiotic only made me angrier. I clenched my hands around the wood handles of the scroll, gritted my teeth, and planted my feet more firmly on the ground as if I could crush my fury into submission.

It did not work. My anger just burned hotter as I sat there like a bomb waiting to go off.

I was still sitting at the small desk when Jasmine came upstairs. Above the sound of my own anger, I heard her say, "Ren, it's getting late, I think…" she trailed off and suddenly said, "Rajah? Ren, is Rajah in here?"

No.

Yes.

It did not matter. I wanted her gone. Instead, she started buzzing around the study.

"Ren? Ren? Are you there?" she called out coming closer to me. "Come on Ren. Say something. It's hard enough not being able to see you. I can't deal with this silence too. Ren?"

The logical part of my mind told me to answer her and that with a few simple words I could get her to leave. But I had passed the point of talking.

I felt a hand on my head. "Found you!" Jasmine cried triumphantly.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Don't move.

Jasmine patted my head. "Why didn't you say anything?" She ruffled my hair. "You have nice hair, Ren. Very full."

The words didn't mean much to me, but her tone was light and affectionate. The feeling of her hand on my head was so familiar. It brought back a learned behavior that we had spent years cultivating.

Calm down Rajah. Put your claws away. Stop growling.

I breathed in and out.

It's alright. I'm alright. You're alright.

My anger was beginning to dissipate when she said, "but I suppose I shouldn't be messing with it. You would say this isn't proper and whatnot."

She began to lift her hand away from my head.

No!

Before I could stop myself, my own hand shot out and grabbed hers.

"Ren!" she yelped.

Panic. Like an icy bath.

I let go of her immediately. What was I doing? I hadn't been thinking. I had scared her. I shouldn't have-

"Your hand," she cried. "It's bleeding!"

"What?" I croaked.

My eyes flew open and I bought my hand to my face so that I could look at it. The princess was right. There were four punctures in my palm. I lifted up my other hand and examined it. It had the same injury which meant my nails, my perfectly groomed blunt nails, had done this. How on earth?

"Ren?" Jasmine said, interrupting my thoughts. "Are you alright?"

I had forgotten that she was still here for a moment. My princess sounded frantic. I had to focus on what mattered. I forced myself to speak. My voice was gruff and foreign to me, but it made the sound, "Yes."

It wasn't untrue. I was physically alright. The cuts were probably less deep than they looked and I was only just now registering the pain from them which was a good sign. As far as injuries went, this was pretty minor.

Jasmine wasn't appeased. "We need to go get a doctor," she said in a rush. "No wait…I should get supplies or no…we need to clean your hands. Yes! That's the first step." She grabbed my forearm. "Come on, Ren. Let's go to my room. We can wash out your wounds and I'll help bandage you…somehow."

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? Ren, now is not the time to be worried about the propriety of being in my room." Jasmine said trying to pull me from my chair, but I wasn't going anywhere. I might be capable of thought now, but I did not feel like myself. And there was…the scroll. I felt anger flare up in me again.

Above me, Jasmine chided, "Ren, you're bleeding. You're in so much pain that you're speaking in monosyllables. So, yes, you are going to my room and getting medical treatment if it's the last thing I do."

"No." I tamped down on my growing anger. I could not go back there, not with Jasmine standing so close to me.

Jasmine continued speaking as she attempted to move me, but I resisted her easily and I actually made myself tune out her words. I needed to focus on forming a reply she would actually listen to, but my mouth felt like it was full of sand. All I could manage was a rugged, "Princess," before my voice gave out.

Jasmine didn't even hear me this time.

Damn it.

I clenched my hands into fists, ignoring the pain it caused. I thought I had gotten over this, but this was worse than that first night I had talked with the princess under those stars. I swallowed and forced myself to breathe in and out.

I had gotten through that night. In the end, Jasmine had heard and accepted me, like she always did. I looked up at the princess now. Even now, with her fighting to move me and insulting me, she was as lovely as ever.

My princess deserved better. She expected better. To her, I was never just an animal. I was her friend. And I was a prince.

I swallowed again. My mouth felt a little better. I felt calmer as I looked into her face. I was Prince Alagan Dhiren Rajaram. I was not an animal. I would not be ruled by anger, however justified. I would speak clearly and concisely like the noble I was and I would tell the princess about the scroll.

"Princess Jasmine," I tried to say in a commanding voice.

The result was at least audible because this time the princess heard me. She stopped pulling my arm for a moment and said, "What is it, Ren?"

I swallowed again and took in another deep breath. I could do this. I just had to put aside my anger for a bit. "Your headpiece."

"My headpiece?" she repeated in confusion. One of Jasmine's hands released my arm and caressed the familiar sea blue stone. Her touch was gentle, almost reverent.

That damn headpiece was one of her favorite possessions. The only time, she ever went without it was when she had visited Aladdin. Otherwise, it was a permanent accessory. She wore it proudly on her head or kept it on her person as a good luck charm.

She had done this ever since she had first earned the headpiece when she was eleven years old. The thing was her trophy for saving Agrabah's economy, given to her during a huge ceremony by Jafar, himself.

He had given it to her when she was eleven!

I clenched my fists even tighter. I was losing it again.

Calm down.

I breathed in and out.

Put your claws away.

I opened my hands.

Stop growling.

I focused on Jasmine. I looked at her blindfold and imagined that I could see her eyes. Then I said in a voice that still did not sound like my own, "Your headpiece is cursed."

A/N: Fun fact, I have updated all three of my active stories today. So, that must be nice for those you who follow my other fics. It's been a crazy day. I hope you all are enjoying the content.