Chapter 20: The Third Wife

I sat between Paul and Emily around the campfire that had been built, feeling completely out of place and anxious. Paul's hand was firm on mine and Emily was making conversation with us, trying to ease my mind about where I was.

I wish I could say that it helped.

It felt like everyone at the bonfire was staring at me like I was about to attack each and every one of them. Some of the children on the Reservation would stare openly—I was sure their curiosity was eating away at them at the stranger who was there. More than once, I'd smiled or waved at them and they'd given me a naive grin back and would wave their tiny hands at me.

The adults, however, were a different story.

Every time I made eye contact with someone who I hadn't met yet, they'd hastily look away from me, only to glance back when I'd turned my attention elsewhere. I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I knew it had been a mistake for me to agree to attend.

However, I'd promised Alice that I'd keep a watchful eye on Bella—despite both Bella and I assuring her that it was unnecessary.

I watched as Jared and Kim arrived to the bonfire and felt myself stiffen slightly. Paul noticed and squeezed my hand in an attempt to reassure me. Kim smiled hesitantly at Emily and met my eyes briefly before hastily looking away just like everyone else had.

Jared was less subtle in showing his distaste at my presence—he looked completely irritated and glowered at Paul before pulling Kim to the other side of the fire pit.

Sue arrived soon after Jared and Kim. When she saw that I'd actually attended, her eyes lit up and she wrapped her arms around me tightly. Again, I was nearly overcome with emotion at how motherly her embrace felt and it almost made putting up with everyone's stares worth it. I was also pleased to see that Leah had sent me a genuine smile before taking a seat between her mother and younger brother, Seth.

I hadn't officially met Seth yet, but when he'd seen Leah smile at me, he followed suit and grinned at me as well.

There were a lot of humans here and I felt the usual anxiety starting to creep up my spine, but luckily the smokey scent of the campfire was doing a good job of overpowering the scent of blood.

Until Bella arrived.

I could smell her blood as soon as she got out of Jacob's car in the nearby parking lot of the beach. I genuinely had no idea how the Cullens could stand having her stay in their house when her blood was as intoxicating as it was.

Bella smiled at me as she sat down with Jacob and I returned her smile before everyone turned their attention to Billy Black, Jacob's father, who was essentially running the informal meeting. He began by having everyone toast Harry Clearwater before he and the other council members began to tell the stories of the tribe.

It started off fine—I was slowly getting more comfortable being there and as I listened to Billy share the legends about the spirit warriors and the origins of the pack, I found myself getting lost in them and absorbing all the information that I was receiving.

However, when he got to the story of The Third Wife, I couldn't help but feel even more out of place than I already had.

It was the story of a vengeful vampire who attacked the tribe after they'd killed her mate—a vampire who had been kidnapping local women and feeding from them. The vampire nearly took out the entire tribe, until The Third Wife came to the realization that the only way to stop the vampire was to cause a distraction.

She sacrificed herself by plunging a knife into her chest, knowing that the vampire wouldn't be able to resist her blood. Her tactic worked and the vampire lunged at her, feeding from her until her husband was able to phase into a wolf again and attack the vampire, getting her off of his wife and quickly disposing of the vampire's body.

"She saved the tribe," Billy said as he concluded the story. "We're here today because of her."

His dark eyes swept across the group of people around the campfire and I noticed that they lingered on me for longer than anyone else.

That was when I knew I needed to get away from the group for a little bit.

"I'll be right back," I whispered to Paul, letting go of his hand and standing from my spot with him.

He grabbed my hand again before I had a chance to walk away. "Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head and tried to give him a genuine smile. "Don't worry—stay here."

He gave me a long look before letting go of my hand and turning his attention back to Billy. I walked along the shore of First Beach, mind reeling with the tale that Billy had shared.

The legend of The Third Wife had told me precisely why the wolves had such a strained relationship with my kind and I couldn't say I blamed them for it. If a pack of wolves had nearly destroyed a huge amount of vampires all at once, I was sure that I wouldn't take too kindly to them either.

I walked until I ended up at the large driftwood tree that Paul and I had sat on together on one of my first days in La Push. I smiled at the memory, thinking about how we'd been so hesitant with each other, yet still somehow so comfortable almost immediately. We'd spent that entire evening learning about each other and I can remember it feeling like everything had fallen into place for us.

I gazed out at the murky water, seeing the reflection of the bonfire bouncing off the waves, looking like fire in the water.

"Are you alright, Natalie?" asked a voice from a few feet to my right.

I looked over and was mildly surprised to see Leah Clearwater standing there, looking at me nervously. I turned my attention back to the water. "I'm okay."

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Not at all," I said, shifting slightly to give her some room to sit with me. She sat down next to me and we were quiet for a few moments before I broke the silence. "You don't want to be at the party over there?"

"Not really my scene," she admitted quietly. "How come you're not over there?"

"I guess it's not really my scene either."

"It's more than that, isn't it?" she asked gently.

"That story…the last one that Billy told," I started. "I can't lie and say it didn't upset me. It felt like everyone was staring at me while he was talking."

"He shouldn't have told it," she said. "He knew that you'd be here tonight."

"I guess I can add Billy to the list of people who don't like me," I muttered.

"And who else is on that list?"

"So far, just Jared and Billy, I guess," I said. "Jury's still out on Kim and I haven't formally met the entire pack yet."

She laughed in spite of herself. "Trust me, I know what it's like to be disliked around here."

"Does it ever get easier to put up with?"

"You'll learn to just ignore it after a while," she said. "At least you have Paul to defend you. Most people on the Res know better than to cross anyone who's part of the pack—even if they don't fully understand why they shouldn't cross them."

"Yeah, I guess that helps."

"Honestly, I'm surprised you even decided to come to this tonight," she said. "I know I wouldn't have if I were in your shoes."

"Part of it wasn't by choice, trust me," I muttered. "I'm on babysitting duty."

"Babysitting duty?" she repeated.

"The Cullens asked me to keep an eye on Bella while she's here," I explained.

She stiffened slightly. "I'm surprised she had the nerve to show up here too."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She's put Jacob through hell," she said. "She basically led him on for months, but as soon as The Cullens came back, she went straight back to them. She let Jacob fix her—she let him put her back together, just for her to go back and pretend nothing happened when the Cullens left her."

"They left her?" I repeated.

Leah nodded tightly. "Apparently there was an incident at her birthday party and she got hurt. Her boyfriend decided the best course of action would be to leave her so that she wouldn't get hurt again. Sam, Jared, and Paul had to go find her the night the Cullens left because she tried to follow them."

I was quiet for a few moments—how hypocritical of the Cullens to be so concerned with Bella's safety around the wolves when they'd done nothing to hurt her up until this point, yet she'd been in harm's way because of the vampires more than once and she was currently in danger with Victoria holding a grudge against her..

I understood the Cullens' concern—the wolves could be dangerous and volatile, but she'd actually been hurt because of the Cullens.

"You've been alive for decades, right?" Leah asked gently, halting my thoughts of the Cullens. I nodded, grateful for a change in subject. "How did you cope with it?"

"With what?"

"Being stuck like this," she whispered.

I was quiet for a few moments and I hugged my knees to my chest. "I'm not sure if I have fully coped with it."

"You seem like you have," she noted.

"I guess I'm a good actor, then," I muttered. I took a deep breath. "I think…after a while you start to grow used to it and you slowly start to see it as a blessing instead of a curse. I would never choose this life for anybody, but I've been able to experience things that I never would have been able to had I not been turned."

"Like what?" she asked curiously.

"I've been able to travel the world," I said. "I never would've been able to do that if I hadn't been turned. And…of course, I met Paul."

"Sometimes I feel like I don't have the willpower to keep going," she admitted.

"I know the feeling," I said. "But you find little things to keep you going, to keep you moving forward." I was quiet for a few moments. "When I woke up from my transformation and found out what had happened to me, I was so consumed with hatred for the person who had done it to me that I thought it was enough to keep me going. But…it wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"There were times when I'd be alone; maybe taking a break in my search or holed up in a hotel room while I waited for it to get dark out, that it just felt like waves of depression were washing over me. More than once, I thought it'd just be easier to end it—at least then I'd stop constantly feeling anger or sadness."

"What shifted for you?" she asked.

"Something…happened to me," I said. "I'll spare you all the gory details, but I was essentially held captive for a long time. When I got out, I hid in a cave for a few weeks until another vampire and his friend decided to stop and make camp in it. He…he helped me through it and reminded me why life was worth living. He reminded me that the way we are…it can be a gift and that it's a shame to waste it."

"I guess I can see that side of it," she said. "It's just hard when I have no idea what this means for me and my future and I have no one to ask."

"It's scary, I know," I said gently.

"I…I haven't gotten my period since I started phasing," she whispered. "I talked to my mom and she doesn't know if it's just something that happens while I'm phasing or if it means that I'll never be able to…"

She trailed off and I was quiet again, remembering the realization crashing down around me when I'd woken up from my transformation and discovered what had happened to me; when I'd discovered the loss that I'd suffered and hadn't had anyone to talk to about it.

I was extremely tempted to tell Leah the secret I'd kept bottled up for so many years; to share with her the immense pain I'd gone through so that she knew she wasn't alone and that there was someone who understood what she was going through.

But…I couldn't. It was something that I'd never been able to share with anyone and I knew that if I told her, it would mean that the entire pack would also find out the next time she phased and I didn't want that.

I didn't want that to be the way that Paul found out either.

"That was one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with," I finally said. "I struggled a lot with that. I'd always dreamed of giving my parents a couple grandchildren and then I lost that dream and my parents in one foul swoop."

"I can't imagine going through that alone," she said quietly.

"It definitely wasn't easy."

"Hey, Leah?" asked a voice to our right. I turned to see Seth standing there, looking at us a little nervously.

"What is it, Seth?" Leah asked.

"Mom's just about ready to go—she asked me to come get you."

"Hi, Seth," I said, sending him a small smile.

He grinned at me. "Hi, Natalie. I heard you beat Paul in a race."

I laughed. "Is he still complaining about that?"

Seth shook his head. "Embry and Quil told me."

"Yeah, of course they did," Paul muttered, appearing behind Seth.

Seth jumped slightly and gave Paul a sheepish look as Paul passed him to come over to me. Leah stood from her spot on the tree and she and Seth said their goodbyes to us before Paul sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked.

"Bringing you here," he said. "I should've known better—I should've known how uncomfortable it would have made you."

"You tried to warn me," I reminded him. "I guess I'm just stubborn."

He chuckled. "And you agreed to play babysitter."

I rolled my eyes. "As if she needs babysitting while she's here. Leah told me what happened…when they left her."

He exhaled deeply. "I'll never forget the look on her dad's face when we went to go find her. He was sure they'd kidnapped her or worse. Emily had to stay with him to keep him calm."

"Where was she?"

"Sam found her in the woods—we think she tried to follow her boyfriend when he left her," he explained. "She started hanging out with Jake and the first few times I saw her, she looked so…so dead. As if she was just functioning on autopilot. It was eerie."

"How are things…with her and Jacob now?" I asked.

"Honestly, I don't fully understand what's going on there," he admitted. "Obviously they're still friends but he hates that she's so close with the Cullens. There's clearly more going on there than either of them seem to want to admit and it's only a matter of time before things come to a head with them."

"Sounds messy," I noted.

"It is," he agreed. "But luckily it's not our problem."