Chapter 50: Lesser Men

I opened my eyes and found myself looking at my bed curtains instead of Jasmine in the pre-dawn light. I was truly awake this time.

A sigh escaped me.

It had been a long wonderful night and now it was over. I had to face another day.

I got up and had to throw my bed curtains open.

I thought that this would help the air feel less stuffy, but the entire bedroom was unusually warm this morning.

"Vinit?" I called out, looking around the bedroom for my manservant, but there was no sign of him.

Strange. Vinit was nearly as committed to punctuality as I was. If he was not here, then I must be up at an odd hour.

I glanced at my balcony. Its curtain was also drawn closed which was yet another strange occurrence.

I did not like this.

I strode over to the balcony and pulled back the curtain. Immediately, I was hit with bright blazing sunlight.

Gah!

I raised my hand over my poor eyes.

As my body became accustomed to the light and heat of another winter day in Agrabah, my mind attempted to make sense of the situation. I had had so many dreams last night. Between my past nights as Ren and sunny days as Rajah, it was hard to recall my last moments as Prince Dhiren, but eventually, I landed upon the answer.

I remembered going out with the sultan to some kind of orchard. We had returned in the late afternoon. I had eaten a cold lunch and then…

Nothing.

But no, that couldn't be right. Surely, I had gone to dinner. Surely, it wasn't…

I snapped the balcony curtain shut and returned to my rooms. This was bad. What was going on?

Why had I missed dinner?

Worse than that, why had I been left to sleep in to this late hour? I had missed my chance to do my morning training today. And, wasn't I suppose to meet with Captain Mira before noon? How many other meetings had I missed so far? And where was my damn manservant!

I stormed over to my main wardrobe. I normally bathed in the morning, but I wouldn't bother with that until I had talked to someone. I went rifling through my clothes. There had to be something in here I could easily put on myself.

The expensive outfits mocked me. Nothing would work. I slammed the wardrobe shut and proceeded to the dresser that held my exercise garments.

Only after I had finally selected something, did I hear the main door open and Vinit's voice. "Rājakumāra!" he cried. "You're awake!"

My head jerked up in time for me to see him close the door. "And where have you been?" I demanded.

"I sent a request for…" he trailed off suspiciously.

"For what?" I snapped.

"Lunch," he mumbled.

"Lunch?" I repeated to myself. Was it really that late? Gods, "What time is it then?"

His voice was barely above a whisper. "It's a quarter till…1?"

I lost my grip on the shirt I was holding.

How on earth?

This was even worse than I had imagined. I was supposed to be on my way to see Jasmine right now.

An image from last night's dreams filled my mind and I saw the princess's carefree smile.

Durga protect me…I had missed dinner. I was supposed to see her then. I wrote her a letter promising her that I would. What did she think of this mess? Was she-

Vinit took a hesitant step forward. "May I help with that, Rājakumāra?"

"With what?" I snapped.

Vinit glanced at my feet. I followed his gaze and realized he meant the shirt that was lying in a crumpled heap on the ground.

I was about to accept his offer, but then I remembered my grievances with him and asked, "Vinit, why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"I could not," he said, not meeting my gaze.

I narrowed my eyes at him and said in a soft dangerous voice, "Why not?"

Vinit's eyes flicked up to meet mine briefly. "I apologize, Rājakumāra. You were in a deep slumber. The sultan said to let you rest and Bhushan agreed."

With the servant's words, things slid into place. I almost smiled.

The sultan had done it again. He'd lulled me into a false sense of security and sprung his trap.

I should have never told him that I was tired yesterday. He had taken it as an invitation to ruin my schedule yet again.

Damn him! Why had I thought things were going to be different this time?

They were but in the worst way. Instead of just talking to my secretary which at least had some semblance of propriety, he'd gone to Bhushan like the ambassador was my damn mother. The two of them, Vinit, and countless other servants had all come together to rob me of the basic choice of how long I wished to sleep.

I could just imagine the sultan's glee from accomplishing this appalling intrusion. He had probably been chuckling to himself all morning.

"Rājakumāra," Vinit said tentatively, "it was for your health. I too was worried-"

"Vinit," I said in a voice that brooked no argument. I was not interested in his opinions. "Send a message to the princess to inform her I wish to delay lunch and summon Shalin here."

"Summon Saciva Shalin?" Vinit blanched at the idea of me wanting his rival sent here into his domain. It was a grave insult by Mujulaai standards and we both knew it.

My response to his injured pride was a simple question. "Can you tell me all the meetings and other obligations I have missed due to this debacle?"

"No, Rājakumāra." Vinit bowed his head in shame.

I nodded. "I thought as much. Now summon him, pass along the message, ready a bath, and clean up this mess," I said, kicking the useless shirt away from me.

"Of course, Rājakumāra," Vinit said with his head still bowed low. "A bath is waiting for you, but it was drawn this morning. Shall I send for-"

"No need," I said, cutting him off. It was a cold bath type of morning…or afternoon as it were.

I made my way to the bathroom, ignoring Vinit's protest. If he expected me to be appeased by him showing me consideration now, he was wasting his breath.

After a tepid bath, I returned to my bedroom with a more appropriate attitude. I knew it was wrong to blame Vinit or even Bhushan for what had happened.

Yes, I had come to depend on both of them and yes, Vinit had seemed especially devoted, skillfully helping me in all my domestic affairs, assisting in my quest to relearn etiquette, and always giving me unasked for pep talks before every breakfast and dinner.

Due to his position, he was the first person I saw each morning and we had spent an inordinate amount of time together. Perhaps, I'd even grown used to dealing with his nervousness and overly fussy mannerisms, but it did not matter.

Vinit was a servant, a good and loyal servant, but his loyalty was pledged to Bhushan, not me. That meant everything he did was either in service to himself or to his master. As for the ambassador of Mujulaain, Bhushan had his own loyalties to consider.

This wasn't-

Betrayal?

Loyalty?

Fairness?

Are you so weak now that you whine to me of such things, Alagan?

'Your people' as you call them never belonged to you. Their fealty has and will always be towards the crown prince.

They understand their place in this court as does Kishan, but I see that just like your mother, you still must learn yours.

Though I had not thought of that day in years, those cursed words had returned to me during my bath. And they were still haunting me now with their unforgiving verity.

As different as Agrabah was from Mujulaain, a royal court was a royal court. Everyone, from servants to monarchs, had their own agenda, position, and requirements for loyalty. I needed to always remember that men like Vinit and Bhushan were just tools. They had only failed me because I currently lacked the power to wield them properly.

With my new and more objective mindset, I was able to mitigate much of my resentment towards Vinit even when he was irritatingly efficient in getting me dressed quickly.

My parting words to Bhushan's most capable manservant were quite civil. I said, "Thank you, Vinit. I understand the difficult position you were put in, and do not begrudge your actions," overly much.

The manservant's eyes shone quite convincingly and he spoke with proper deference as he said, "You honor me, Rājakumāra. I hope that you enjoy your lunch."

I hoped so as well. Even with me getting ready so quickly and delaying the meal by an hour, I was still pressed for time. The distance between here and Jasmine's study was not inconsiderable. The guest suites were on a different side of the palace from the studies and work offices, but that wasn't the true issue. The problem was…

"Good Afternoon, Prince Dhiren," a dower voice said.

I hadn't even gotten ten steps. I turned with a small polite smile on my face, but it was only Shalin. Apparently, instead of announcing himself, he had opted to wait outside.

"Good Afternoon," I replied, "Thank you for coming, Shalin."

"Of course, my prince," he said readily, "You wished to discuss your updated schedule?"

"Yes, walk with me." I had already interrogated Vinit to learn the status of my most important appointments. However, my mornings were very busy thanks to His Highness usually interfering with my afternoons and there was also the matter of me no longer trusting Vinit.

I wanted a second opinion.

For what it was worth, Shalin confirmed Vinit's intelligence and then some. The secretary's unabridged list of my missed obligations was alarmingly extensive. The only news I learned that might be considered good was that people supposedly believed that I had been 'conducting special business for the sultan.'

Perhaps His Highness thought this measly cover story would make up for him instructing Shalin to cancel and reschedule all my meetings, for not just today, but the whole week!

It did not.

I could not forgive this. Unlike Vinit and Bhushan, I had no plans to try. His Highness was lucky that regicide was not a viable option to improve my reputation and influence because killing him would be far too easy and satisfying for me at the moment.

I hated him, his games, and his lies!

I couldn't believe I allowed myself to be taken in for even an instant. When I thought back to all of the idiotic things I'd uttered to please him…

It was not to be born. I would never let that snake fool me again.

Never!

As I continued to hear about the effects of His Highness's malicious tampering, it was a struggle to maintain an amiable demeanor. I must have succeeded, however. That was my only explanation for Shalin's reaction when I informed him that I planned to start work after my lunch with the princess. He actually had the gall to say, "You'll never make it."

"Excuse me?" I let some of my true feelings leak into my voice, causing Shalin to remember himself.

"Forgive me, my prince. I only meant that Princess Jasmine plans to sup in the sultana's studio with Vizier Alia and a few women from the Galafem delegation this evening, so her afternoon schedule is tighter than usual."

Damnation!

Was this entire day cursed?

I could have sworn that the Galafem dinner was supposed to be later this week. I had to restrain my expression into something that resembled mild disappointment before I asked, "What time does the princess become unavailable?"

"Right after your scheduled lunch," he said. "She will be busy all afternoon with meetings and preparations for tonight."

Of course.

There went my plans for a late lunch.

"Should I have your meal brought to your study?" Shalin asked.

"No," I said grimly. I wasn't going to be deterred that easily. I didn't care that my hour with the princess was being reduced to mere minutes. I hadn't spoken with Jasmine in person for nearly two days.

I needed to see her.

I told Shalin that "I still plan to eat in the sultana's studio."

This time, the secretary did not offer an opinion on my decision. He just said, "Of course, Prince Dhiren. I shall ready the study for your return."

As I knew that I should, I thanked Shalin for his service and information. Then I turned the discussion to a legal matter that I had asked him to research a few days ago. It was no small feat, but I made myself listen closely to Shalin's answer as I waved at and silently greeted servants, guards, and the few courtiers we passed.

When we, at last, came upon the gardens, I told Shalin that I would see him later. He looked surprised, but again he wisely reframed from questioning me. I entered the gardens while he continued along the palace corridor we had been on.

I knew I was deviating from my usual route, but Shalin was right about one thing: seeing Jasmine was not a guarantee today. I needed to change things up.

Thus, I chose my path in the gardens carefully and when I was sure I was alone, I lengthened my stride. I did not do it often, but my long legs made it possible for me to move swiftly without me appearing to do so. Between that and my intimate knowledge of the gardens from years of walking the paths with Jasmine, I was able to avoid close contact with people and kept a brisk pace.

There was the occasional guard or gardener, but they were too far away to do more than nod or wave as I charged forward. I was making good time and began to feel confident about this plan. I even considered the possibility of cutting through the gardens more often. I hadn't had time to visit lately and they really were lovely.

Even with the afternoon sun in the sky, the trees and greenery provided enough shade to make the air cool and refreshing. I liked the sounds of nature, the birds chirping, the running water, and the rustling of leaves. There was also the pleasant scent of flowers and cut grass in the air. It was soothing to be here and pick out all the spots that contained a good memory. This close to the palace, I could nearly ascribe every bend in my path with some small episode from Jasmine's life.

Just as I was beginning to truly relax, a wheezy familiar voice called out to me from a converging path, "Good afternoon. Is that you, Prince Dhiren?"

I fought a sense of dread as I turned and said, "Good day, Grand Allamah Rashid."

Those were the last words I got to speak for the next five minutes and my next words were merely, "I'm in a bit of a hurry today," but I might as well have been talking to a wall. I was forced to slow my pace and listen to the visiting holy man from one of Agrabah's most important allies as he whined and complained with the repetitiveness and fervor that can only be achieved by the very old.

He claimed that the gardens' paths were too confusing. His breakfast had been too hot. He hated the way Arabic sounded and didn't I also prefer his native tongue? And on and on it went with other such trifles.

I was sure that at least a quarter-hour had passed before I was able to shake his company without being detrimentally rude. When I finally extricated myself, I was still quite far away from the studio. Thanks to the Grand Allamah, I had barely made any progress.

Calculating the remaining distance in my head, I came to the conclusion that the only way I could hope to see Jasmine before the end of our lunch hour was if I sprinted from here all the way up to where the studio was.

For a few wild moments, I considered it. To get to the sultana's studio, I would need to run up a few hallways and several flights of stairs. The likelihood of me doing that unobserved was less than zero. Once I was seen, the gossip that would result from the normally correct and mannerly Prince Dhiren gallivanting through the palace at high speeds would be malicious indeed. Already, I was sure there would be talk about my supposed secret work for His Highness and me walking through the gardens instead of taking my usual route.

If I somehow ignored the whispers and the consequences, I could burst through the doors of the studio just as Jasmine was putting down her utensils from lunch. She would be preoccupied with some problem or another. I would have to catch my breath and call out to her to get her attention. At the sound of my voice, she would look up and, in that moment, her expression would change to that smile that had greeted me on so many nights before, and then she would say, "Ren!"

Were I a lesser man, the promise of her joy would be enough to make the rest worth it, but I was better than that. I had to be better than that. I was Prince Alagan Dhiren Rajaram of Mujulaain, Princess Jasmine's betrothed, and I was going to rule this kingdom with her one day. I needed to show people I was actually worthy of my titles and responsibilities, and was not just another lovesick fool who would be gone in a fortnight.

As such, I knew it would be sheer madness to risk my newly-made and painstakingly cultivated reputation for a few measly moments with the princess.

What were a few moments compared to the lifetime we would spend together?

Nothing.

Less than nothing.

It did not matter that after dreaming of her all night and walking through the gardens, I wanted to talk to her more than ever. It did not matter that it had been over a day since I had last seen her, or that this was the longest time that we'd been apart since…

It truly did not matter.

I could speak to the princess tomorrow of my troubles and her father's misdeeds. I was certain that she would accept my apology for missing dinner. Jasmine was not the type to hold grudges. It could all wait until tomorrow.

I should wait until tomorrow.

That was the sensible thing to do.

That was the right thing to do.

And yet, against all my logical arguments and good judgment, a rush of energy coursed through my veins. My muscles tensed in preparation. My heart pounded. I took a step.

And then…

"Good Afternoon, Prince Dhiren. Do you have a moment?"

I held still for an instant before I let the self-destructive whim die as it should.

Forcing my gaze away from the balcony of the sultana's studio, I assumed an affable expression and turned to face the courtier who was running up a side path to meet me. My voice was smooth and cultured as I said, "Of course, Ambassador Jamal. I have been meaning to follow up with you about your livestock proposal from last week."

The vizier beamed at me. "Excellent! Because I have been thinking about how to expand the project," he began excitedly before launching into his lengthy pitch.

I walked with the enthusiastic ambassador past the peacock fountain and into the palace. After we parted ways, I continued to travel up palace corridors and stairwells at an unhurried and regal pace. I smiled and acknowledged every person I passed. As word of my return spread, my path became flooded with eager and influential people. I made sure to converse with all those who ought not to be ignored.

When I met the guards outside of the sultana's study and they informed me that Princess Jasmine had left with her other servants over a half-hour ago, I graciously thanked them for the intelligence and went on my merry way up the last flight of steps.

At the top, I saw the two guardsmen who flanked the doors to the sultana's studio and greeted them with the same bright princely smile I had on every day. After I closed the doors, I stood and stared at our little picturesque lunch spot.

The tiny wooden table and chairs were out on a covered mosan balcony which had an exquisite view of the gardens below. However, Jasmine always chose the chair that faced inward so she could admire the leftover pieces of the sultana's artwork that hung on the studio walls. This meant I now had a perfect view of the place Jasmine usually occupied.

The image of her sitting there, smiling up at me, overtook my mind again.

It sparked an inferno of nonsensical feral emotions that no princess ought to see.

A/N: Chapter 50!

Can you believe it?

We're almost done with this arc and soon we go onto the climax! Woo!

That's good news for us, even if that might be very bad news for former Crown Prince Alagan.

With that ominous statement out of the way, I have something else I want to say:

Today is 5.24.2022 and tomorrow is my 5-year anniversary of being on this site, so please allow me to get sentimental for a bit. Rajah's Curse is my 2nd fanfic. I wasn't supposed to have a second fic. I thought that Tiger's Circus would be my one and only foray into this world. I look back at my early author's notes talking about how this fic was supposed to be casual, light-hearted, and fun…LOL!

Has it been fun? Oh yes! At least for me. But casual? light-hearted? Nah…not for a very VERY long time. I've gone hard on this one. Rajah's Curse is the reason I am still writing fanfic if I'm being honest. Thanks to it, I have published not one, not two, but three other fics (Carpet's Dream, Of Rats and Royals, and Crimson Tiger). And there's still one more fic about Jafar that'll come out later.

So, what happened?

Well…I fell in love with the characters and wanted to do them justice, most notably, Jasmine. Princess Jasmine's first iteration was a bit spoiled with a whole lot if 'Maybe I don't want to be a princess!' *splashes water angrily* vibes. But as I got to know her better, I saw my Jasmine as a hardworking and intelligent girl with a starved but open heart and endless curiosity who could be impulsive, childish, blunt, and temperamental at times. She and Ren, when they are at their best, complement each other wonderfully. I don't agree with Ren that Jasmine is an ideal princess, but I realized that the Jasmine I wrote was better than both my first and second draft's endings (I know we have not seen the princess in a while and that you may have some questions, but hang in there.)

Falling in love with anything is a roller-coaster and I do love Rajah's Curse. It is my favorite fic that I've written. There are some chapters I reread and sigh over even now, but this fic has also been responsible for a good portion of my black moods over the last couple of years. I love Ren aka Rajah aka Prince Alagan Dhiren Rajaram. He is my favorite protagonist, but there are some days when I want to shake him for being so…him.

Because I love Ren and his story, I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself and I think I've probably made this harder than it ought to be. Going through all my fics and doing these retrospective author's notes has helped me realize that I've been stressing way too much about my writing recently. This is supposed to be a fun hobby. I need to let go of the ideal a little to see what I can do. Already this month, I have had a new and promising idea of how I want this fic to end.

I hope to finally write a climax my characters deserve and that you'll be seeing more chapters from me in the summer or at least this autumn after I've finished Of Rats and Royals.

No one wants to see this story finished more than me, but I understand you all have been waiting. Thank you for your patience and continued readership. Thank you to march4fun who has to deal with me freaking out over this (in both good and bad ways) on nearly a daily basis and who has left so many thoughtful reviews. Thank you to ErrantTalisman for giving this fic a try. Thank you all for following and favoriting and reading. I really hope to hear from more of you, but I'm doing my best to let go of that too. It is a blessing just to know there are people out in the world who are enjoying something I've created. I sincerely hope Rajah's Curse has brought you joy, feels, and distraction from our crazy world because that's what it has done for me. In short, if you get nothing else out of this author's note, let me say this:

Thank you so much for all your support in the last few years and I hope you follow me into the next one.

Thank you also for listening to this self-indulgent prattle. If for some reason you're curious about my other thoughts on my other fics look at my other uploads this May.

I hope that some of you will check out my big surprise tomorrow in honor of my 5-year anniversary of being on this site.

Otherwise:

Until we meet again!