Time Capsule

by Skryb

The previous reincarnate in line must've really hated her, because she's been forced to go to an dystopian world and play a game for a decade. Fortunately though, the game and the people in it aren't that bad.

7. The Glory Days

It was hard for Lauren to stay awake during her meeting the day after the huge raid. She got 4 hours of sleep last night, and it was definitely impacting her performance today. And then to top it all off, she had to try and pay attention to a fairly important meeting discussing how their attempts at overthrowing the top brass at Fujitsu was going.

Ever since joining the hardliner faction, which was under the control of that super old dude she talked with on that big propagandist meeting some years back, Kotako, she's been promoted from being someone's personal PR manager...

To signing off death warrants for anyone who attempted to defy the status quo.

Lauren has no idea how she ended up in this position, but apparently from what she's heard, Kotako managed to convince the higher ups not in the hardliner faction that she was not ambitious enough to try and overreach her new position as basically the head of the Gestapo. And to be fair, they weren't wrong, she really didn't care about trying to take over Fujitsu or anything.

Apparently, the old guy in her spot was trying to also take over Fujitsu, but solo, like a moron.

It was more of a ceremonial position anyways, since all she had to do was sign off on warrants that will eventually end with some poor idiot dying to Fujitsu's "secret" police.

And since not that many warrants needed to be signed off on, she was still working as one of the propaganda creators, just in a higher department.

Legally, she has no idea if signing off on death warrants is even close to being legal.

Morally, this is the worst thing she's done since arriving in this dystopia. It's not even close between this and her #2 worst thing she's done.

Personally, she enjoys the fat paycheck that allows her to regularly buy food that isn't just flavored paste.

And really, that's all that mattered, isn't it?

"Ms. Moore," the sound of her name being called propelled her awake, "You've been gathering information on all the various family members' locations, yes?"

Ah, right, they did ask her to try and find where the CEO's and other big shareholders' families live some weeks back. Probably for blackmail reasons. But she doesn't ask because she doesn't want to find out if they have truth serums or whatever.

Lauren nodded, "If you'll turn to page 57, you can check my findings. However, I'll mention that the most of these shareholders have are a few concubines and some bastard children."

Some of the conference members sinisterly grinned as one of them, whom she was pretty sure was in charge of the weapons, said, "We can make this work. I could get these people hostage in a day, probably."

One of them also asked, "How were you able to find all of this? We've been trying to get access to a lot of this for years!"

Yeah, this was a pain in the ass to find, even if the basic summary was that Lauren went through the genetic database and looked for connections.

It was just that she had to sacrifice a few of her female underlings that weren't in their factions to the people who decided who gets access to the database.

Ah, she's so lucky the hardliner faction is both weak enough to have to stand her X chromosome, so they couldn't just be sexist and lose her valuable work, but also strong enough to pull a bunch of strings so she could live in some luxury.

Lauren frowned as she simply answered, "I set up a date between an idiot who had access and one of my female underlings not in my faction. I don't quite understand how you didn't find an idiot who'd gladly fall for a basic honey trap?"

One of her fellow propagandists raised his eyebrow, "Are you sure that this isn't all an elaborate trap?"

"I checked it all, and I monitored the guy I paid off. He's not part of any faction from what I've seen, he's just a biotic engineer who's just kind of a background character. I don't think the higher ups even know this guy's a worker here," Lauren explained, "That's on page 67, by the way."

Kotako hummed as he checked the page, "Ah, a new hire. Quite a risk there, Ms. Moore."

Lauren easily responded to the hidden question, "I took the proper measures to ensure that any failure of mine could directly be tied to our faction. I keep both a taser, knife, and a cyanide pill on me at all times, anyhow."

As a woman in a society that obviously didn't have very good gender equality, some sort of self defense was required and she really didn't want to learn how to fight.

That's why she stayed as a support in Yggdrasil, because she really didn't want to fight her own fights when the whole isekai thing happens.

Speaking of which, it's comically easy to get a taser, knife, and cyanide pill in her position. The knife she's had from the start, cyanide is provided by Kotako in case she gets caught, and apparently Fujitsu makes tasers for its police force, so she was able to swipe one off of the production line without much fuss.

Well, she had to pay the price for the taser, but basically without much fuss.

Kotako accepted her answer, as he put an end to this meeting, "Well, we still need to bolster our numbers in order to have a good shot at taking over this company and ushering in a new era for Japan. Therefore, let us focus on trying to expand this little faction. And don't worry, you'll all keep your high positions that you already have."

Well, recruiting was not her problem. She's the least ambitious person in this room, after all.

After all, why care that much when you know Paradise is just a few short years away?

The only thing she has to do now is to ensure she doesn't die before then…

Well, maybe trying to take over a company wasn't the smartest decision to try and not die, but at least it makes life a bit easier to go through.

If she were still just a factory worker, she might've died not from the hazardous working position, or the environment, but possibly the mundane boredom of it all.

But here she is, alive and trying to take over a megacorp with some crazy people.

Orphea better be able to bust her out if things go wrong…

---

"Hey, Vaggy," Amanomahitotsu greeted her as she logged into Yggdrasil the day after the big raid.

"Hey, Amano," Vagisilious greeted back, "Don't think I've ever seen you online this early, though."

Amanomahitotsu shrugged, "Well, I usually just watch Anime during this time. But after yesterday, I just wanted to check if Nazarick was okay."

She motioned to the conference room they were in, "Looks pretty good to me."

"Actually, there's been a few attacks on Nazarick today, mostly by people who were pissed by what happened yesterday or those who couldn't participate," Amanomahitotsu explained, "They got past Shalltear, but they didn't make it past Leviathan and Tokino. We're just waiting for Momonga to come online so we can reset them again."

Oh, darn, poor Shalltear- "Wait, how many people did Shalltear and Leviathan separately kill?"

"I think Shalltear killed 45 more people, and Leviathan got 76."

"Ha! Starting my session right!" Vagisilious cheered.

Peroroncino then logged in, "Oh hey guys, good to see Nazarick still standing!"

"Shalltear isn't," Vagisilious smugly said.

Peroroncino gasped, "What?! Seriously?! Come on, man! Do they have like a guide on how to kill Shalltear now or something?"

Suddenly, both Vagisilious and Amanomahitotsu get a notification, "Oh hey, I just got a special edition of the Yggdrasil Times."

Amanomahitotsu read the title, "Ah, of course this one is about us."

Vagisilious quickly skimmed over the contents of the paper, "Yep, it has a ton of interviews, including you, Pero. And… Oh, yeah, there's details on how they defeated our NPCs. Mostly on killing Shalltear, though."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Peroroncino yelled out, falling to his knees.

They both laughed at Peroroncino as the other members of the guild slowly logged on.

Momonga then came online, "Ah, hey guys. You guys manage to stay up during work today?"

Herohero groaned, "Ugh, just barely, yeah. But I'm still so tired…"

"Mhm, I did, but more importantly, can you restore Nazarick again? Shalltear is down right now, people have been trickling in all day. 200, at least," Vagisilious said, bringing up her divination of the 3rd floor, devastated by invaders.

Momonga looked at her divination and chuckled, "Darn, well, they didn't get past Leviathan, though?"

Vagisilious shook her head, "Nope, it's lore accurate Leviathan right now."

Momonga nodded, "Alright, I'll get to the throne room to activate the restoration."

As Momonga went out to do that, Ulbert asked her, "Hey, Vaggy, who do you think wins in a fight between all of our NPCs?"

"Not Demiurge, gameplay or lore wise," Tabula chipped in from the side, causing Ulbert to throw a small fireball at him.

Vagisilious thought about it for a moment, "Uh, Rubedo wins gameplay wise. Peak Leviathan wins lore wise because he's a world enemy."

"Hm, then do you think Touch could beat Rubedo?" Ulbert followed up.

"Didn't know you were interested in that," Vagisilious comments before answering, "Rubedo, probably. Have you seen the stats on her? It's crazy what Tabula did with the caloric stone."

Ulbert nods satisfactorily, "Good, good. That makes me happy."

"...you just wanted to make sure Touch wasn't #1 in strength here, didn't you."

"Of course."

Orphea then logged on, "Hey guys, sorry I'm a bit late-"

"We were supposed to be here by some time?" Bukubukuchagama asked.

"No, but considering I'm unemployed, I probably should be here more often," Orphea said, shrugging.

Coup De Grace hummed, "Say, Orphea, how many strings can you pull in your company? Can I get hired by you, maybe?"

Orphea chuckled, but otherwise not very bothered, "Coup, I've known you for like, 2 weeks."

Coup De Grace deflated, "Fine, fine, I'll wait before asking."

Peroroncino laughed, "C'mon, man! Patience! Orphea probably deals with people like you all the time! You gotta make yourself stand out to have a chance!"

Orphea sent out a questioning emoji, "Oh? Figuring out how to take advantage of me right in front of my face?"

"I'll send you my hentai recs later," Peroroncino bargained.

"Deal," Orphea immediately accepted.

Vagisilious mildly groaned, "Don't you guys have any shame?"

Orphea stares at her "Vaggy, I've read Tokino's bio."

"That's different."

Peroroncino coldly stares at Vagisilious, "Uh huh. Different, you say, defending your incest fetish to the last."

Punitto diverted from his ongoing conversation with Blue Planet to chip in, "Vaggy, I've known you for like 4 years, you're messed up."

Vagisilious whipped her head around in shock, shouting "PUNITTO! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?"

Vagisilious crossed her arms, "You just got placed in the friend zone!"

"I'm not your brother so I didn't have a chance in the first place," Punitto shot back, dealing devastating damage to her spirit.

Vagisilious fell to the floor as everyone in the guild laughed, as she gloomily moaned, "Too far, man. Too far…"

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" Nishikienrai asked as he entered the conference room with BigStall.

"We were bullying Vaggy," Yoipesuto answered easily.

Nishikienrai laughed as he spotted Vagisilious on the floor as she somehow sank further into the floor.

"BigStall, would you lose against a bomb?" Bellriver asked suddenly.

BigStall tilted his head, "Where is this question coming from?"

"I was playing the new Pokemon game and I got blown up by my rival and wanted some tips," Bellriver confessed with no shame at all.

"You lost to your rival? How? They haven't been hard since gen 21!" BigStall incredulously asked.

"Is the new Pokemon game any good? I've been thinking of buying it," Pannokishi asked, "It's another dive game, right?"

BigStall nodded, "Yeah, and it's fine. They're just recycling gimmicks anyhow. Anyways, Bellriver, let me help you with that rival of yours."

Momonga then came into the room, which signaled that all 41 members were online.

Everyone finished their conversations as Momonga began the guild meeting, "Alright everyone. First I'd like to reiterate that we became some of the greatest players in this game when we beat back that invasion!"

Everyone cheered, but since they've done their fair share of cheering about it, they stopped quickly.

Momonga continued, "I have a feeling we're about to enter our golden age! We've made it to the top 15 of guilds despite only having 41 members. We are heads and shoulders above our peers, and we will continue to strive for as much as we can!"

Momonga then toned down the theatrics, "But, uh, on a more serious note, we'll probably get instantly PK'd by everyone if we tried to do anything now. So let's just take this week easy and let things cool down. The next gear upgrade won't show up until December anyways."

Orphea raised her hand, "We can still do things on our own though, yeah?"

Momonga nods, "Well, yeah, obviously. Just make sure you're prepared for angry players."

Orphea nods, "Sweet, Vaggy, Nubo, come help me find one of those solo world enemies. I wanna try fighting them to get a world item from them."

"Huh? Why am I being dragged along?" Nubo asked.

"I sense a promotion in your future if you help me~" Orphea coaxed, trying to sound cute.

Nubo sighed, "Yeah, okay, it's not like I was going to do anything else today."

"Can I come with you?" Peroroncino asked, clearly just trying to be closer to Orphea.

Orphea quickly nodded, "Yeah, sure!"

Momonga nods, "Well, have fun with that. Anyways, does anyone else have something to share?"

BigStall spoke up, "Actually, yeah, I've got some more leaks for you, as long as nobody snitches on me."

"Oh? Feel free to leak all you want, BigStall," Daijobubua leaned in, very interested.

BigStall went to explain, "So, I'm working on the level 80 dungeons and raids right now-"

Denshosho interrupts, "We're only on gear level 77, though?"

"I work fast," BigStall waved off, "But Anyways, the final boss of the expansion is basically us."

"Oh, really?" Denshosho asked, "Why did they make us into the last bosses of the expansion? Wasn't it supposed to be the robot eagle we've been watching get built up by the bad guys of this expansion?"

BigStall nodded, "Well, yeah, but the whole raid yesterday was such a boost to their popularity, so they wanted to commemorate it. And this is how."

Bukubukuchagama raised a tentacle, "Can we voice act for the bosses?"

"No, it's AI," BigStall said.

Bukubukuchagama groaned as she complained, "My industry is dyyyiiinnnngg!"

"Your industry is hentai voice acting," Blue Planet pointed out, "As long as degenerates long for human voices, you'll live."

"Like you?" Luci*Fer questioned.

Blue Planet chose not to answer that question.

BigStall continued, filling the awkward silence, "And don't tell anyone, because they'll put me on thin ice if this does get out to the public, but the first 41 group who clears that raid gets a world item that's to be determined."

The guild was very excited at this tidbit of info, as they were probably the only guild in the top 100 who had 41 members in it.

"Alright, then as soon as we get the release date for that raid, don't be late!" Momonga announced, getting nods from everyone.

"Also, I have something else," BigStall said, filling the guild with anticipation, "We're slowing down on how much better the newer gear will be after this expansion."

For the past 4 expansions, the strength of the gear from the previous gear level averages at about 5% better than the one before. So comparing the strength of the previous top tier gear at the end of the expansion to the new top tier gear was about a 25% difference.

Because players get so much stronger every year, it becomes necessary for any top tier guild, PvP or PvE, to keep grinding out the best gear every big update, because if you don't, you are just objectively worse than your peers.

So, knowing this, Vagisilious decided to ask, "By how much?"

BigStall immediately answered, "It's about a 1.5% difference from each gear level now."

The conference room immediately bursted with noises of shock, confusion, and rage.

"Who's the idiot who decided that?!" Ulbert loudly complained, "It's our right to completely demolish noobs who don't understand how gear levels work!"

Punitto tried to reason with himself on why this decision was made, "It's for those casuals, right? Don't have enough time in their day to grind out Yggdrasil all day long?"

"Wait, by the time we get to gear level 100, we'll only be 30% better than we are now?" Shizyuutensuzaku realizes, "That's so dumb, though!"

BigStall nods along with the complaints, "Yeah, I don't like it either. I was trying to argue for 3 or 4%, but apparently the higher ups decided that this was the best way to bring in more casual players while, and I swear to my heart this is a true quote, "Staying true to the nature of Yggdrasil.""

"Didn't you join our guild for the sole purpose of getting good feedback to the dev team? Tell them this is shit." Wish III said.

BigStall sighed, "What do you think I told them? This is a hardcore game for hardcore players, we pay most of their bills buying those stupid gacha stuff and buying guild levels to protect our base. We keep the daily player counts high all by ourselves. And they still ignore all of that and try to help the casuals keep playing the game in less interesting ways."

"I think they know we're all dumb enough to keep playing anyways," Ankoro comments, "And you know what? They're right, I've spent waaaay too much time and money here for me to just quit."

"Haha, you're probably right, Ankoro," Yamaiko said, chuckling.

"Why not try to stage a boycott?" Peroroncino suggested, "You know, like not buying a single dime for a while."

"Look inside your inventory, Pero." Ulbert flatly said, "You know you can't deny that you have an addiction to being pay to win."

"...Shut up." Peroroncino weakly said.

Orphea spoke up, "Eh, I have no strong feelings about the squish. All it means is that when we win fights, the losers can't use that garbage 'ooohh, you have better geearrr!' argument anymore."

Coup De Grace, professional bootlicker, nods alongside her, "I agree, this will just prove how much better we are at the game."

Orphea side eyes Coup De Grace, "You know it doesn't comfort me that a person literally named 'Coup De Grace' is trying to get my favor, you know."

Coup De Grace bowed his head very quickly, "I'm sorry, I will kill myself 20 times to get my name changed."

"Nah, just keep the bootlicking to the funny stuff," Orphea said, "I like it when you bow to me, I don't like it when you just keep agreeing to all my opinions."

Tabula snorted, "Coup, congratulations, you've just been handed the title of guild clown. Pero, I know you've been waiting for this day."

Peroroncino's head whipped to Tabula, "Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?!"

Before Tabula and Peroroncino got into an argument, Touch swiftly changed the topic, "Anyways, I think the world champion of Jotunheim quit the game after dying to us yesterday. Does anyone want to try to get that title when it rolls around in like, 4 months?"

Takemikazuchi shook his head, "Nah, I wanna try beating you fair and square without a world champion class."

Touch tilted his head, "You know you stand literally 0 chance against me, right?"

"I'm the 2nd best warrior in this guild, I can beat you," Takemikazuchi confidently stated.

Ancient One chipped in, "I'm with Touch on this one, Takemikazuchi, you have no chance against a world champion."

Touch nods, thankful for the aid, "Yeah, and besides, you're good enough to probably get that title, especially considering that there's no world champion for Jotunheim anymore."

"No," Takemikazuchi flatly declined, "I'll beat you without that cheap class."

Touch had just sighed and shrugged, "Well, if you say so, man."

Eventually, people had run out of things to add, so Momonga ended the meeting, "Alright everyone, again I'd like to say great job yesterday staying up all night defending Nazarick. I'll see you all next week!"

---

Orphea wanted to look in Niflheim for a solo world enemy since Niflheim hasn't had a world enemy added to it in this expansion yet, so she bets that there probably is one and that they can find it.

To be honest, it's a stretch to say that they would find it, and that it'd also be soloable. And that it'd also drop a world item in the first place. But hey, Orphea is rich, and being rich just brings a certain amount of luck, being in the 0.01%, after all.

Currently, the four of them were just standing in the middle of nowhere Niflheim just divining random locations and hoping for a hit. To no success, so far.

Nubo was looking at the land using his divination, which was much more suited to finding locations, hoping to find some mysterious cave or building.

Vagisilious, on the other, hand excelled at finding people and monsters, so she was looking at every single aura that showed a living being and trying to find something that looked strong.

In the meantime, though, they were sharing stories.

Nubo was taking a closer look at a ruined castle while telling his story, "Yeah, so I had to help this new intern basically do everything , hell, he even asked me how to use a printer! Gosh, they really need to fix the education system just a bit."

"Eh, I actually struggled using a printer the first time I tried when I was like, 15," Orphea said, sitting on a rock with Peroroncino right beside her.

"Orphea, take my advice and never tell that to anyone else again," Vagisilious advised, because holy hell she personally would've taken that information to her grave.

Nubo nods, "Yeah, I'm using that as blackmail now."

Peroroncino nods along with the two dissenters, "Yeah, Orphea, that's not a good look."

Orphea tilts her head, "It's not that embarrassing though? I thought everyone struggles with a printer at least once in their life."

Vagisilious vigorously shook her head, "Absolutely not! Everything is literally labeled for you! You'd have to be illiterate to not know how to use the printer!"

"I seriously think you're pulling my leg here, guys," Orphea said without much fuss, "Technology isn't the easiest thing in the world, you know."

"It's the printer, " Nubo stressed, "It literally does not get easier than that."

"What about turning on the computer?" Orphea pointed out.

"You know what he meant, Orphea," Vagisilious said, "Just admit you're just technologically incompetent."

Orphea used an unimpressed emoji, "I'm not technologically incompetent, I just had a tough time using some things for the first time. Not that big of a deal."

"I mean, yeah, but at 15?" Peroroncino said, gaining a flat look from Orphea, "You could've done better."

Orphea crossed her arms, "Pero, surely you struggled with something supposedly easy too, right?"

Peroroncino thought about it for a moment before nodding, "Eh, I guess shopping by myself for the first time when I was 13 was a bit hard."

"13?" Orphea questioned, tilting her head.

"My mom and dad died in an accident at that age," Peroroncino said, getting a small gasp from Orphea.

"Oh, uh. I'm sorry to hear that?" Orphea awkwardly said, trying to be polite but failing.

Peroroncino laughed, "Nah, don't worry about it! I got over it, it was a long time ago!"

"You know that's not a good thing, right?" Orphea concerningly said.

"Eh, it's life," Peroroncino waved it off.

Vagisilious quickly messaged Nubo, "Nubo, how are we going to get these 2 idiots together when Pero is busy being an idiot?"

Nubo shrugged as he messaged back, "Don't rush it, Vaggy. All we gotta do is nudge 'em a bit and it'll work out."

Vagisilious stared at Peroroncino flat out denying Orphea's concerns with the least tact possible, and messaged Nubo back, "You'd think for someone who watches hentai all the time, he'd be better at this whole 'trying to impress a girl' thing."

Nubo stares at Orphea trying to talk about how Peroroncino should care more about the people in his life and him just saying no it's fine, and nods with her, "Yeah, this is sad. Seriously, accept the girl's concerns, dude. Wait, I just found something."

"Hold on to that thought, I think I found something," Nubo said, bringing up his divination to both of them, "Found a world enemy from last expansion, I don't know if anyone found it yet. Wanna check it out?"

"Ooh, going where nobody has gone yet, my favorite," Vagisilious said in a mildly excited tone, "Sure, you open the gate."

After making it to the world enemy, Vagisilious and Nubo played a game of rock paper scissors to decide who would have to use [Hermod's Insight] to find out whether or not the frost elf world enemy would be soloable or not.

She won, by the way.

And nope, it was not one of those soloable world enemies. Just a regular one that was sort of undiscovered, so now it's completely useless because it didn't drop level relevant gear.

Orphea sighs at the discovery, "Aw, completely ruined my mood. Vaggy, you're my only hope now."

Nubo took some offense, "Wha- Hey! Why are you acting like I'm worthless?"

"You didn't find the right world enemy, duh," Orphea replied, putting her hands on her hip.

Peroroncino wisely nodded alongside Orphea, "Yeah, if you were better, Orphea would be fighting something right now."

"I can just find another!" Nubo defended his own worth, "Besides, now I have experience!"

"Not the right experience," Vagisilious teased, before firing up her divination again, "Luckily for you, you won't have to search for long because the world item is right here!"

She used her divination on a completely random place.

It was a flat field.

Nubo immediately knew what was going on, because he couldn't stop the smile coming into his voice as he shouted out, "Well that's unfortunate! Because the devs actually put the world item right here!"

He used his divination on a completely random place.

It was a random tree.

They both laughed as Vagisilious quickly rebounded, "Huh, that's weird, because I know that a world item is actually right over here!"

She used her divination on a completely random place.

It was a random trash mob frozen in ice.

Peroroncino laughed as he recognized what was going on, "Haha! The only times I've seen you two speak to each other so casually was when you're both doing something dumb like this."

Orphea gasped as she realized what was going on, "No way! A gag! Can I join?"

"No," They both simultaneously replied.

"Aw," Orphea sagged, "Meanies. I hope this gag goes on for like an hour and you both don't find anything."

An hour passes, and as Orphea predicted, they found absolutely nothing for the day and the four had to call it quits and had to log out for the night.

It was an absolutely hysterical 45 minutes of both Vagisilious and Nubo just screwing around and scrying random parts of Niflheim, though.

---

In the end, they didn't end up finding a solo world boss that still dropped a world item. Probably because they've already been taken.

Eventually the end of the expansion came, and with it came the release day of the last raid which was basically a big Nazarick reference.

At the very least, BigStall managed to convince the other devs to not put the raid right on their front door.

So all 41 members were online, just preparing to take the world first 41 man raid of the aptly named "Supreme Underground Catacombs Of The Undead King."

Currently, she and Nubo were scouting out the entrance of the raid to ensure that they could sneak in without being attacked, because there are usually a few groups in front of new raids to try and attack anyone trying to enter.

This was doubly important to do, because she always brings her world item, the Mianguan, to every raid so none of the mages have mana issues and can just do the max amount of DPS as possible.

So, inside of the conference room, everyone was just chilling, waiting for answers.

"Can I just say how much that name sucks ass?" Whitebrim said during a lull in the conversations around the room.

Mekongawa nodded while using his petting emote on his weird lizard-scorpion chimera pet, "Yeah, it does suck. I bet it's a subtle dig against us."

"BigStall," Otanabetabeki called out from across the room, "If we learn that you named this raid, we're kicking you out of Ainz Ooal Gown."

BigStall snorted at the threat, "I've been in this guild longer than you. In fact, if you don't like the name, I'll kick you out of Ainz Ooal Gown."

"Oh, are we threatening each other with kicks now?" Luci*Fer excitedly asked, "In that case, Whitebrim! Let me mess around with some of those NPCs on the 9th floor or else I'll kick you out of Ainz Ooal Gown!"

Whitebrim sent a weak tier 1 spell towards Luci*Fer, which predictably did nothing because friendly fire doesn't exist because they're in the same guild together.

Temperance and Tigris, meanwhile, were playing a game of 'would you rather?' with each other.

"Would you rather… Hm, live in Nazarick's first three floors for a year, or live in Nazarick's 5th floor for a year?" Tigris asked, getting hums from Temperance.

"In my player avatar?" Temperance asked, getting a 'no' from Tigris, then he responded, "In that case, the first three floors. The 5th floor would probably kill me from the cold."

"Yeah, but all of the ugliest and creepiest NPCs are on the first three floors," Tigris responded, "If we were on the 5th floor, we could maybe bang the mercenary frost virgins that we bought."

"If you banged a frost virgin, do they die because they're not virgins anymore? Or would they become… What do you become after you stop being virgins?" Temperance wondered out loud.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," Genjiro interjected from nearby, "But can you guys stop making me lose brain cells by being next to you guys? Holy shit, stop being horny."

"Wha- We're not as bad as Pero!" Temperance defended the both of them using the flimsiest defense possible.

Peroroncino quickly stopped his conversation with Orphea to lean over and ask, "What's going on? Who's horny?"

"I'm going to stop you all right now," Momonga interjected, causing protests that he had to raise his voice to speak over, "Seriously! If there were R18 restrictions on voices, you'd all be banned a thousand times over!"

"It'd be a glorious ban!" Peroroncino raised his fist and cheered.

Nobody followed him.

"Yeah okay fine I'll shut up." Peroroncino sat back down.

"Alright, we finished up the whole divination process," Vagisilious announced while coming into the conference room with Nubo.

Nubo took over the explanation, "It's the usual, some guilds are just waiting around to gank people who are trying to enter the instance."

"Do we have to fight them?" Punitto asked.

Vagisilious shook her head, "Eh, nah, they didn't make their barrier that well. We can just fly over them with invisibility as long as none of you are stupid enough to get caught by their anti-fly or detection spells."

Everyone stared at Bellriver.

"What?! It was one time! I'm a warrior, not a mage! I didn't know how to fly safely!" Bellriver defensively said.

"You literally just avoid all of the things that appear in the air. It's not that hard," Ulbert dryly said, "Even Yamaiko's little sister could do it."

Yamaiko laughed at the sudden mention of her sister, and tried to defend Bellriver, "Oh, Ulbert, I wouldn't go that far."

"Huh? Seriously? Is your sister mentally challenged too?" Ulbert asked.

"And now, I'm going to punch you," Yamaiko menacingly said, standing up from her seat and sending out a duel request.

"Oh? Do you really think you could beat a world disaster in a straight up one on one duel?" Ulbert's voice had a smirk in it as he stood up and accepted the duel request, "With your build that's always getting nerfed all the time?"

Yamaiko said nothing as she simply got into a fighting position as the counter raced towards zero.

"Woo! Go Yamaiko! Kick his ass!" Vagisilious cheered out for her friend, alongside all of the female members of Ainz Ooal Gown.

"I swear, why does Ulbert get into fights so often?" Herohero asked as they immediately started to brawl within the tiny conference room.

"Eh, don't think about it too hard," Tabula said, putting his feet up as Ulbert was getting his shit rocked because fighting a monk in an enclosed space was a really bad decision on Ulbert's part, "Just enjoy this ass beating."

---

Ulbert had his shit kicked in, and Yamaiko successfully defended her sister's honor.

All was well in the world.

When they eventually set out for the Supreme Underground Tomb of The Undead King, they made sure to stand a far enough distance away, and they applied invisibility and flight magic to themselves.

"Alright guys, just avoid the things that appear in the air, and you'll all be fine!" Momonga called out as he went up.

Tabula pointedly looked towards Bellriver, "Especially you, Bellriver!"

Bellriver squawked in protest, "Hey! Come on, man!"

They flew into the air, causing all of the anti-flying defenses placed by the other players to come into view. Along with a few anti-invisibility spells.

Everyone, through years of experience, managed to fly through the minefield unscathed.

Except for Bellriver.

He accidentally hit one of the mines in the air, causing his invisibility to disappear and his flight to stagger.

And everyone below him noticed his presence.

"Someone's flying over us! Shoot him down!" One of the campers called out.

"You idiot!" Punitto insulted immediately after as he went to save Bellriver, "[Savior's Hand]!"

Bellriver was pulled into Punitto's grasp as Punitto immediately reapplied flight magic on Bellriver, as Bellriver didn't pick up the fly spell as "Everyone else already has it."

Bellriver complained, "Seriously guys! That did NOT hit me!"

Vagisilious sighed, "Alright! Everyone, just dive into the raid entrance! I'll pull you two, alright?!"

"Don't get stunned!" Ulbert warned as he made the dive into the raid.

As Punitto and Bellriver were swarmed by enemies, Vagisilious quickly made her way close to the entrance and managed to use [Hand of Heaven] in order to drag her two guildmates into the raid entrance with her.

Anyways, after that, they were inside of the raid, and they were quickly speeding through the bosses because, well, they were basically stronger versions of their NPCs.

Though, their NPCs looked way better than the raid bosses.

"You know, if they wanted to honor our memory, couldn't they have given our NPCs some more respect?" Takemikazuchi said as he stared at the grotesque Cocytus stand-in.

Hell, it doesn't even look like Cocytus at this point, more like some weird frozen eldritch abomination.

"Honestly, it feels like this is all an unsubtle dig at us," Flatfoot said, irritated.

"BigStall, you better have a good answer for this," Takemikazuchi said, "Otherwise, I'm going to chop you up."

"I don't design mobs, dude," BigStall reminded, "I just make the areas."

As they prepared to engage the frozen boss, BigStall also mentioned, "By the way, I put a lot of freeze traps in the corners of this room. So, you know, don't stand there."

"BigStall, why would you do that?" Momonga politely asked.

"Fuck em corner hiders."

---

"Say, do you think I could solo my own boss?" Garnet asked, looking at the robot that looked kind of like him, but not really.

"BigStall, you wanna accidentally drop a few leaks?" Wish III asked, "You know, accidentally."

BigStall stared down at the robot that looked kind of like him, but not really, and said, "Eh, not really. Just use Hermod's insight on them."

"Huh? Wait, Vaggy, Nubo, don't!" Orphea quickly interjected, "I need you to keep looking for world enemies with me later!"

"Huh?" Nubo confusedly said, "Then how are we supposed to know what the bosses do?"

Vagisilious nodded with Nubo, "Yeah, Orphea, we can just look for the world enemies tomorrow."

"Why not just yolo?" Peroroncino said from his position, having been holding his arrow in for a while now, waiting to fire, "We have the mianguan on Vaggy, things literally can't go wrong with her acting as Ulbert's battery."

"Yeah, that's how we find out that these bosses can all only be defeated by specific circumstances that we don't know and we die." Punitto dryly said, "Vaggy, use it."

"...Eh, BigStall, why don't you shift to your GM form so you can check their info for free?" Vagisilious said instead, causing some members to groan at the delay.

She really didn't feel like standing still for 2 minutes at the moment, she'd rather fly in circles waiting.

BigStall made an X with his arms, "Nope, no abuse in this house, Vaggy."

"Ugh! You guys are all the worst!" Peroroncino said, instinctively moving his arms about to emphasize his point.

At which point he accidentally released his arrow straight into his own counterpart.

As they all realized what had just happened with 41 bosses coming straight for them, they all pointed fingers at Peroroncino and yelled out, "YOU IDIOT!"

"Mayhaps I have let my senses gone too far loose," Peroroncino dramatically and resignedly said as he accepted his fate as he gets hit by like 30 different projectiles from the enemies.

---

"Hey Orphea, maybe don't die like that next time." Peroroncino advised Orphea from the grave as he sat around watching the rest of the guild fight.

Orphea raised an eyebrow towards him, "You are literally sitting next to me, also dead."

They were both sitting at the back of the room, waiting for the fight to be done with as only 13 of the original 41 bosses were currently alive.

Peroroncino died early on due to him extending the gag of being hit for his crimes a bit for a few moments too long.

Orphea died because she told everyone that she could totally solo her own counterpart. And then she found out the hard way that, no, she could not solo her own counterpart because it did too much damage because it's a raid boss.

"Hm, but at least I didn't die in a stupid dumb way." Peroroncino said, leaning back as if he had cracked the code.

"Stupid dumb- Uh, hello? Maybe you have short term memory loss because you died first in a worse way." Orphea said, making fun of him.

Peroroncino chuckled, "Yeah, you wanted to solo a raid boss."

Orphea giggled, "Hehe, it was possible! I was just off my game!"

"That is literally the opposite of possible!" Peroroncino insisted.

"Nuh-uh!"

"What do you mean 'Nuh-uh'?!"

"I wouldn't have died," Orphea said, smiling.

"You literally did!" Peroroncino pointed out, also smiling.

"That's what you think, but I'm just an illusion you're speaking to. Right now, I'm beating the crap out of…" Orphea paused, looking at her counterpart, "I forgot who my counterpart was called."

Peroroncino laughed, "I bet it was something like NotOrphan Red."

Orphea snorted, "Yeah, I bet it was."

As they quieted down, Peroroncino asked a question, "Hey, what the heck do you do anyways? Do rich people just sit around in their fancy highrise apartments all day counting money?"

Orphea shrugged, "I dunno, I sit around doing nothing all day, but that's just because my dad doesn't care what I do. He's in meetings constantly, though."

"Eh…? Meetings?" Peroroncino sounded disappointed, "I thought rich people have people that do things like that for them."

Orphea tilted her head, "Pero, you know that said rich people need to prove that they can stay rich, right?"

A lightbulb appeared over his head, "Oh, that makes sense," Then, he asked, "Wait, are you going to be the CEO after your dad dies?"

Orphea shrugged, "I dunno, probably? I've gotten some education on how to run big corporations, since I'm an only child. It could be equally probable that my company just kicks me out when my dad dies."

"Huh?! They can just do that?!" Peroroncino astonishingly asked.

Orphea nodded, frowning, "Yeah, so I've been taking some steps to ensure that doesn't happen, but I don't actually know if my dad supports me or not…"

"Well, you know what, if that doesn't work out, you can just live with me and Buku." Peroroncino offered, getting a laugh from Orphea, much to his confusion.

"Oh my god! Literally all of the girls told me that you'll make that offer eventually! Haha!" Orphea continued to laugh, getting protests from Peroroncino.

"What the heck are you clowns talking about?" Otanabetabeki said as he walked up to the 2, also dead.

"Eh? Oh, you're dead too? How did that happen? We weren't paying attention." Orphea asked, her laughter dying away.

Otanabetabeki shrugged, "Punitto told me to tell you guys to accept the revival request, so I tanked for a bit and died."

They blinked.

"Oh, yeah, whoops," They both simultaneously said before pulling up the menu, where there's been a revival option for the past 3 minutes they've been dead.

"Yeah, 'whoops.' What the heck were you guys so engaged about in here anyways?" Otanabetabeki asked, finger over his own revival option

"Eh, we were making fun of each other and talking about life," Orphea said, "Nothing much."

Peroroncino nodded, "Basically, yeah. Anyways, let's revive."

As the three were revived, Punitto immediately yelled at the two, "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS TAKE SO LONG TO ACCEPT THE REQUEST?! ARE YOU TWO BLIND OR DEAF OR SOMETHING?!"

They both flinched as they started to rejoin the fight, as Peroroncino answered for the both of them, "Sorry! Sorry! We were busy chatting!"

Vagisilious immediately questioned them, "Was it the cute kind of chatting or the ugly kind? Because if it was the ugly kind, you're not getting healed by me."

"...Vaggy, what are you talking about." Orphea flatly questioned her, only getting a disappointing response in return.

"Aw."

Peroroncino stopped firing his arrows at the 9 remaining bosses for a moment just to reply to Vagisilious, "Vaggy, if that 'aw' means what I think it means, you owe me the next expansion."

"Wha- You can't just decide that!" Vagisilious defended herself, "If you want 6,000 Yen, just ask Orphea! Her allowance is probably larger than everything we have combined!"

"At the risk of sounding socially inept, what's an allowance?" Orphea asked, getting sounds of general confusion from everyone.

"Yeah, Vaggy, what is an allowance?" Daijobubua said, not looking at them as he's being attacked by the Touch counterpart.

"Oh, right, you're all Japanese," Vagisilious said, getting shouts of protests from everyone, "Hey! Hey! Not in a racist way! More like, uh, you're all orphans so you wouldn't know how it feels to get money from your parents."

Ulbert sneered, "Vaggy, your American privilege is showing."

"Yeah, I should shut up. You can keep my healing."

Eventually, all 41 bosses did die without too much issue, as it was mostly just a big brawl without many complicated mechanics.

And so, they got their world item!

"...BigStall."

"...Yes?"

"Where is our world item that you said would drop?"

"I'm looking."

BigStall was already in his GM form looking through invisible menus to figure out what the hell was going on.

And then BigStall suddenly announced, "Seraphim got here before us, they just cleared with 41 members 2 minutes ago."

Oh those motherfuckers. How the hell did they know?! This raid was only announced a week ago and the bosses were revealed yesterday! Did they just guess?!

Momonga quickly yelled out, "Alright! If we get out of here fast enough, we might be able to catch them!"

We all quickly teleported back to the entrance, and literally right in front of us was Seraphim taking a group photo of themselves.

It seems as though they forgot to take a photo inside the raid, and cleared all of the campers outside of the raid just so they could brag that they cleared the entrance campers.

All 41 of us immediately spotted the pair of boots and decided that it was probably the world item, so we all immediately started to rush that guy.

"GUYS! BEHIND YOU!" The cameraman panickingly said as he whipped out his combat staff as he jumped to defend the holder of the world item.

Every single mage in Ainz Ooal Gown had responded by bursting out their 10th tier AoE spells that they knew would eat a whole bunch of their mana, but with her using the Mianguan, mana was an infinite resource as long as she was paying attention.

Ainz Ooal Gown had 20 mages who could benefit from her Mianguan, so whenever they restructured their builds through a painful few weeks of grinding, she had told everyone to take a few 10th tier high damaging spells. Now, the fruit of all that labor was about to come loose.

Every single mana user in the guild, no matter their role, was a DPS at that moment. And every warrior, a tank, as they ensured that nobody reached them.

The guild leader of Seraphim, BlessThyHearts, was barely able to turn around before immediately dying to the burst damage of all of the spells, and the lightly armored of the group were also wiped out by the AoE because they didn't have their buffs on due to them wearing out after they finished their raid.

The remaining warriors nearby the fallen boots quickly picked it up and started running away, trying to form a defensive core around them so they could try and get a teleport out, or maybe some reinforcements.

Unfortunately, 10th tier spells do a lot of damage, especially when there are 20 of them all coming at you at once, not even mentioning the warriors and rogues bum rushing the world item.

Within just a minute, the 41 group of Seraphim was completely wiped out of existence, and the world item was back in the hands of its rightful owners, Ainz Ooal Gown.

"God, I love ambushes." Touch said as he held up the world item, "They literally can't do anything but get blown up out of existence."

"No doubt Seraphim are going to be complaining about that for months to come," Momonga said, the smile creeping in his voice, "Anyways, hand that to me so I can pull up its info for everyone to see."

"Uh, not so fast, we're going back to Nazarick first," Punitto pointed out.

"Oh, right, yeah, let's not get ambushed back."

---

[Inexorable Destiny - World Class Item - When wearing these pairs of boots, the wearer cannot be affected by any items, spells, or abilities that affect the wearer's movement. - (Lore) - (World Item Rules)]

"So basically, the idea with this world item was that since we were completely unmoved by the attack, our world item won't let us be moved," BigStall explained as we all looked at the menu detailing what the pair of boots do.

Which, by the way, look absolutely tacky, and she'd never personally be caught wearing them.

Punitto hummed as he asked, "Does it allow for party movement spells like [Savior's Hand] or [Ally Swap] to still function or does that not work anymore?"

BigStall thought about it for a moment before saying, "...I don't know."

So, Momonga put on the pair of boots which did not fit his gear at all, and so we all laughed at him for having the super tacky boots on, then Punitto used [Savior's Hand] on Momonga, which is supposed to grab Momonga's avatar and drags it over to Punitto.

The spell is mostly used by support players to save their dumbass DPS players from their own blindness, obviously.

And Momonga did not move an inch.

"Yep, this world item is worthless," Punitto declared, gaining groans from every single member, "I can't believe the devs would do this to us."

"Nah, I can totally believe it," said Nishikienrai, "They've done worse things in the past."

BigStall turned to Nishikienrai, "I can ask the balancing team to nerf your build."

Nishikienrai immediately backpedaled, "The developer's are God's chosen men."

Momonga sighed, "Welp, I guess not every world item can be as equally great as others. Though, this is pretty good for 1v1s, right? Touch, you can probably take this to your tournament defense next year."

Touch thought about it for a moment before nodding, "You know what? Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Then he thought about it some more, "Wait, does the boots stop me from buffing my own speed?"

So, he puts on the boots, uses [Herme's Grace], one of his many, many speed boosting abilities, and runs.

At a completely normal speed.

"Yep, this world item is worthless," Touch declared, gaining groans from every single member, "I can't believe the devs would do this to us."

Vagisilious lightly punched BigStall, "BigStall, why would you let them do this to us?! At this point, we might as well give it to Seraphim!"

BigStall sent out a frustrated emoji as he said, "Look, I didn't know that this item would be that bad! I'll ask for a rebalance when I'm back in the office, alright?"

Orphea shrugged, "Welp, I'll go argue with Seraphim on the forums now. No doubt that they're fuming about the robbery."

Coup De Grace nodded alongside her, "I'll just copy and paste 'Stay mad idiot.' on all of their whining comments."

Orphea sent him a very casual thumbs up, "You go, king."

---

Yggdrasil Forums:

Topic: Ainz Ooal Gown Steals World Item From Seraphim.

Posted on February 28, 2131 by Mustapha Mond.

Mustapha Mond (Original Poster) (Guild: Seraphim)

The last raid of the expansion released today, and by finishing the raid with 41 members, likely a nod to the 41 members of Ainz Ooal Gown, we were rewarded with a world item, Inexorable Destiny.

Unfortunately, Ainz Ooal Gown was also speedrunning through the raid, but they were slower than us.

And in his hubris, BlessThyHearts suggested a group photo, so while we were all wallowing in our own pride, Ainz Ooal Gown quickly ambushed us and took the world item for themselves.

Fortunately, I was able to grab a screenshot of the 3 sections of the world item, so I'll be leaking that with permission from BlessThyHearts.

[Link] [Link] [Link]

Expect retaliation, Ainz Ooal Gown.

Showing Page 1 of 15.

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Orphea Scarlet (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

We just did some light experimentation with it and the world item is dogshit, by the way. We were genuinely considering just handing it over to you guys because it's that ass.

We're keeping it, obviously. It'll look great for our guild score.

-BlessThyHearts (Guild Leader: Seraphim)

Oh wait, really? How is it garbage?

-=Orphea Scarlet (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

It negates ALL movement stuff, like savior's hand and self-speed buffs.

-=-BlessThyHearts (Guild Leader: Seraphim)

Oh lmao that is trash.

Yeah, ignore Mustapha, you guys can keep that junk. Don't you guys have a developer in your guild? How did he let this happen to your world item?

-=-=BigStall (Developer) (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Believe it or not, all I do is make dungeons and raids. I have no say over balancing other than bringing suggestions.

-=-=-Mustapha Mond (Original Poster) (Guild: Seraphim)

BlessThyHearts, you seriously cannot be saying that we're just letting them get away with this?

-=-=-=EyeSee (Guild: Seraphim)

Lmao Mond, you gotta stop acting like you're the second in command or the guild leader. You're embarrassing yourself.

-=-=-=-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

Makel (Guild: Seraphim)

Ainz Ooal Gown, screw yourselves.

-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

-=Gabot (Guild: Seraphim)

We ain't mad, we are PISSED.

-=-Lucamal (Guild: Seraphim)

I'm not that mad. Kind of annoyed, though. Grinding 5 levels is annoying.

Elynas (Guild: Seraphim)

Wtf were you guys doing while I was offline?

-Vagisilious (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stuff.

-=Peroroncino (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

I'm stuff.

-=-Elynas (Guild: Seraphim)

Lmao clown shit okay.

-=-=Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

-=-=-Vagisilious (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Peroroncino wtf.

Qwerty (Guild: Seraphim)

We didn't need it anyways.

-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

-=Apparel (Guild: Seraphim)

Who tf is this Coup guy just spamming this garbage?

-=-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

SteamBird (Guild Leader: The Yggdrasil Times)

Seriously? How many world items does Ainz Ooal Gown have now? 7? That's probably a record, right?

-ZAngel (Guild: Seraphim)

Lmao no its not we have 8.

-=Mustapha Mond (Original Poster) (Guild: Seraphim)

YOU FOOL DELETE THAT IMMEDIATELY.

-=-Punitto Moe (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

You are caught in 8K HD hyper realistic graphics.

Also rip ZAngel's Seraphim membership.

-=-=BlessThyHearts (Guild Leader: Seraphim)

Haha, it's fine. It's not like ZAngel's going to tell you every one of our world items. That being said, ZAngel, you're not allowed in the treasury anymore.

-=-=-Mustapha Mond (Guild: Seraphim)

Kick him.

-=-=-=Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

-=-=-=-BlessThyHearts (Guild Leader: Seraphim)

Mustapha, you need to find some of the kindness inside of your own heart, it's fine, he didn't reveal any details on them.

If anything, this is a deterrent against anyone trying to raid us.

Caine (Guild Leader: Digital Circus)

Can we have the world item? We've always wanted one for our roleplaying stuff but we've had 0 luck in finding them.

If it's so crap, why not give it to us? You can show up in one of our videos or something as cameos.

Plus, we always enjoy a good digital macguffin for one of our crazy wacky adventures!

-Ulbert Alain Odle (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Why would we wanna give it to a small roleplaying guild lol. You'd die and get stolen instantly.

-=Ragatha (Guild: Digital Circus)

Hey this is SERIOUS roleplaying.

-=-Zooble (Guild: Digital Circus)

Our whole shtick is to roleplay 24/7 in the game, even in forums, Ragatha. Shut up.

-=-=Ragatha (Guild: Digital Circus)

Oh sorry I meant that we're pretending we're roleplaying so we can forget that we're trapped in the game forever whoops my bad.

-=-=-Pomni (Guild: Digital Circus)

Can we still have the world item? Or like borrow it for a while?

-=-=-=Jax (Guild: Digital Circus)

Our YT subscribers plummeting rn because we didn't roleplay in forums (We are crying).

-=-=-=-Orphea Scarlet (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

I like your videos, I can probably convince Momonga to hand it over to you temporarily with supervision.

-=-=-=-=Ulbert Alain Odle (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Lmao no you won't.

-=-=-=-=-Orphea Scarlet (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

We're literally sitting next to each other in the 9th floor lounge, Ulbert. That being said, I am also not going to talk to you, because my fists will do the talking.

-=-=-=-=-=Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

-=-=-=-=-=-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Wait wrong thread.

Athalia (Guild: Seraphim)

Justice will come for Ainz Ooal Gown!

-Coup De Grace (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Stay mad idiot.

---

"Oh, hey, Vaggy," Variable Talisman said as he spotted her editing one of the Nazarick Tomb Guides, Fly of the 4th floor, "Whatcha adding to them?"

"Oh, I'm telling them things about the Nazarick raid, because I noticed that nobody went to go do the effort of adding it to these guys," Vagisilious said, typing away on her digital keyboard.

"Oh, yeah, I sort of forgot about them," Variable Talisman said as he peeked over her shoulder, "Hm, I think I saw Orphea editing some of them though, right?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, to tell all of the tomb guides that she's super cool for betraying Triumvirate."

"That was pretty cool though."

"Yeah, it was."

After Vagisilious finished up the additions, she said, "Alright, now I have the other 7 tomb guides to edit."

"Huh? Why are you doing all of them?" Variable Talisman confusedly asked, "Who's going to read them anyways?"

"The NPCs, obviously," She said as if he should've known the answer already, "We already know all of this stuff."

Vagisilious paused for a moment, "Or, well, when the game eventually shuts down and we're all back in Nazarick for the last day, we can reread all of these bios and reminisce about the good ol' days."

Variable Talisman plainly told her, "That's depressing, Vaggy."

"Eh, it's the inevitable truth, though," Vagisilious said, "World of Warcraft lasted, what, 50 years before it died because of the competition and mismanagement? Yggdrasil probably won't last 20 years. What happens when we get to the level 100 gear levels? Are we just going to do a soft reset? That's going to be 2 controversies and a half with this type of community."

Variable Talisman just sighed, "Ugh, you're good at making people depressed. I thought you're a PR manager?"

Vagisilious shrugged her shoulders, "Eh, you'd be surprised at how much negativity we drum up against our competitors. That happy go lucky stuff doesn't work on anyone older than 5 nowadays."

"Man, I wish I was 5 years old…" Variable Talisman said, walking away, leaving her to her editing.

So, Vagisilious finished up her work on Fly, and she teleported to the 5th floor and started to work on Butoytus as well.

Hm, Butoytus, that may have been a bit of a lazy name… But she didn't really feel like renaming him either.

Today, it may be tedious labor, but in the future, she'll laugh about it with all 40 of her friends…

---

In the 5th expansion of Yggdrasil, an expansion that feels made with the recent popularity of mecha anime in mind because the amount of robotic and steampunk and high tech elements in Yggdrasil skyrocketed during this expansion, much to BigStall's enjoyment because he loved that type of aesthetic, something very unfortunate happened to them.

So, the most sadistic members of the dev team in charge of making world enemies decided it would be fun to create 9 world enemies, named "The Catastrophes" one for each world and all of them big mechas, who would act like Deathwing from World of Warcraft's Cataclysm expansion.

Basically, once every week, every world would have one of the 9 world enemies spawn and completely and utterly annihilate an area, and because the developers are sadistic, the gear level of the world enemies was at level 85, while they were just beginning to get level 81 gear. So they really couldn't win against the world enemies until later in the expansion.

Though, using [Hermod's Insight] the Yggdrasil community did learn that if they managed to defeat one of the world enemies before the last gear level dropped, it'd drop a world item called [Song of Insanity]

Apparently, all 9 Catastrophes dropped the same world item, so it was thought that the first person to get it kept it.

Anyways, what she really needs to get to the point is, while all 41 members were online and getting ready to take on the level 82 raid, something catastrophic happened.

The Helheim Catastrophe, Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami, a giant mechanical serpent, decided that now would be a great time to attack.

RIGHT ON TOP OF OUR GUILD BASE.

The Catastrophes didn't spawn in towns or anything to avoid spawn camping, as players are supposed to spawn in towns or guildbases.

But apparently, the devs forgot to CODE THEM TO NOT SPAWN ON TOP OF GUILDBASES!

"BIGSTALL WHAT THE FUCK!" Touch shouted out as they had to engage against Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami because we all made the mistake of deciding to walk out the front door of Nazarick instead of teleporting out like any normal sane person would, wanting to clean up whoever was attacking our pop monsters on the outside of Nazarick.

"I think they forgot to code them to not attack guildbases!" BigStall shouted back as he began to tank Jaakuna's attacks and took an ugly amount of damage from the attacks that Vagisilious had to heal.

"Hold on, can one of our tanks go get our level 100 NPCs!? I think as long as we kite it towards Nazarick, our NPCs can fight against it!" Punitto shouted out, healing everyone from Jaakuna's AoE spells.

"I'm on it!" Daijobubua shouted out as he quickly used a teleportation ability to disengage and go into the guildbase.

Because they were just about to go on a raid, she had her Mianguan on, so all of the mages in the guild were using their 10th tier spells without fear of running out of mana.

Unfortunately, that means she was being super toxic about everything because she had to spam her own AoE healing to ensure that nobody ran out of mana.

"ULBERT YOU CLOWN! STOP BEING SO CLOSE TO THE ENEMY!" Vagisilious shouted at the idiot that was getting dangerously close to the bosses' AoE melee range.

"I AM AT A NORMAL DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE ENEMY!" Ulbert shouted back, yet still backing away.

"TOUCH, PICK UP THE GODDAMN ORBS!" Vagisilious shouted at the idiot who was getting low on health and yet ignoring the orbs of healing on the floor, caused by her spells.

Touch did not say a word as he moved to the orbs.

"I need more mana, Vaggy," Tabula calmly said as he was running out of mana from spamming his 10th tier spells.

"CONSERVE YOUR SHIT BETTER!" Vagisilious shouted out as she healed him, and his mana.

Then, while the boss was still on 78% HP, BigStall, the main tank of the fight, died.

"You stupid ass motherfuckers better explain to me HOW YOU LET THAT HAPPEN!" Vagisilious demanded of her fellow healers.

Punitto immediately replied, "No clue, can someone go get the chalice?"

Ancient One immediately volunteered as he too was getting his ass beat by the boss, so he quickly left the fight to go grab the world item.

Just as he left, Daijobubua came back with basically every level 100 NPC in Nazarick, "Hey guys! I didn't know who to bring, so I just brought everyone!"

"Please god let Albedo tank for a bit!" Coup De Grace said, who was currently getting his ass beat by Jaakuna.

As the NPCs detected the threat and engaged into battle, we were all silently praying that our 1 tank NPC, Albedo, would be able to use her taunting abilities.

She uses them.

"Oh thank fucking god," Coup De Grace said in relief as the heat was taken off of him.

Albedo started to take a lot of damage, because she was still in level 80 gear, but Yoipesuto quickly decided he was going to switch from healing the DPSs alongside Vagisilious and start healing the NPCs.

Ancient One came back with Hygelia's Chalice, so Punitto quickly took it off his hands as he revived BigStall, who went back to hitting Jaakuna without a word.

Then, Jaakuna reached 70% HP and went into the second phase.

That meant he grew mechanical wings out of nowhere and started to fly, as the floor started to boil over and started to damage everyone standing on it.

Most of their NPCs had some level of flight ability, so without delay they immediately started to follow Jaakuna into the sky, meanwhile Momonga casted [Mass Fly] for the rest of the flightless guild to follow them up.

Fortunately, their guildbase area was pretty massive, so despite Jaakuna moving around a lot, he didn't leave the area of our guildbase so their NPCs were still able to contribute in the air.

That being said, "ALBEDO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

ALBEDO WAS LITERALLY STANDING STILL IN JAAKUNA'S LIGHTNING BREATH AND GETTING HER HEALTH DECIMATED!

Seconds later, Albedo fell from the sky, dead.

"Well, she was just an NPC that didn't have coding for this kind of thing, it's kind of impressive she managed to last this long." Tabula said, his voice sounding somewhat impressed, though his words were callous.

Bellriver took over the tanking, though Jaakuna started to use a lot more AoE spells so the guild had to do some elite gymnastics in the air to avoid the random explosions in the air.

Unfortunately, the NPCs were unable to do such gymnastics, so they were taking an ungodly amount of damage that Yoipesuto could just not keep up with, even with Tokino's added assistance. So some of them were starting to drop.
"Hey Vaggy! I'm running out of my good talismans, can you spare some?!" Shizyuutensuzaku asked, only to receive shouts in return.

"NO! YOU SHOULD'VE MADE MORE, IDIOT!" Vagisilious screamed as she also checked her supply.

It was 32.

The boss was still only at 59%.

"I SHOULD'VE MADE MORE!" Vagisilious shouted out as she mentally hit herself in the head.

"Just switch to your shitties, you morons!" Suratan shouted out, causing both of them to glare at Suratan.

That being said, they both did take his advice, because if their HP wasn't 0, it was fine.

"I swear to god if this dipshit goes into another phase after he gets to half health, I am going to MURDER SOMEONE!" Luci*Fer angrily said as Jaakuna was on 51% HP.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO BEAT ME TO THAT BECAUSE I'M ALREADY GOING TO MURDER SOMEONE!" Bakuita angrily followed up on Luci*Fer's comment.

As Jaakuna hit half health, he grew fucking ARMS and fell back down to the floor.

And then the air started to boil, as everything living creature started to take damage over time.

It wasn't a lot, just 1% every 5 seconds, BUT THIS IS A FIGHT THAT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES.

"I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE!" Vagisilious shouted out as she continued to apply her talismans to everyone, and her fellow supports agreed with her statement.

"The lore on this world item better be fucking IMMACULATE for making us go through this!" Denshosho said as he kept up his healing on the tanks.

"If I'm not #1 for DPS after this fight, I'm punching everyone here!" Orphea said as she was simply punching the hell out of the enemy.

"Fat chance! That spot is reserved for either Touch or I!" Ulbert said, having time to annoy Orphea while spamming [Reality Slash].

Well, basically every mage in the guild was spamming [Reality Slash] or whatever their class equivalent of it was. Or, at least a 10th tier spell that wasn't resisted by Jaakuna.

"YOU GUYS SHUT UP ABOUT DPS! I'M THE MVP! ME! ME!" Vagisilious shouted as she once again restored the mana of the entire guild.

"We love and appreciate you, Vaggy!" Bukubukuchagama appeased her, trying to calm her down.

As Jaakuna reached 30% HP, he began to spin, which dealt a massive amount of damage towards all of the melee players, and actually killed some of them.

"Vaggy! I'm out of revives for today!" Punitto said as he quickly handed her the chalice, after which she quickly casted [Mass Forced Revival] because the chalice would negate the -5 level penalty for revival.

"Let my summons tank for a bit!" Momonga said as he summoned extra 10th tier undead whose sole purpose was to take hits.

Those higher tier summons cost EXP to summon, but the devs were nice enough to let players bank up EXP for the spell costs.

That all disappeared on death, but at least it didn't mean you'd lose levels every time you wanted to summon something.

"Who decided that this boss was a good idea?!" Yamaiko whined as she immediately went back into battle after being revived.

"It was probably Fumagashi! That guy absolutely hates fun!" BigStall doxxed one of his co-workers, presumably.

Pannokishi groaned, "Tell that guy he should quit! This stopped being fun 7 minutes ago!"

"Are you trying to imply this was ever fun?!" Wasewaru asked, reapplying all of his buffing spells.

As Jaakuna reached 20% HP, he began to summon minions and went back into the air.

"I hate this guy," Peroroncino declared, getting affirmation from everyone in Ainz Ooal Gown.

Otanabetabeki nodded as Momonga casted [Mass Fly] again, "Yeah! I think snakes are my least favorite animals now!"

"This is why the snake went extinct." Blue Planet bitterly said, getting some laughs from the guys who knew him as the nature lover who loves all plants and animals.

Basically all of the NPCs were dead now, aside from Rubedo, Shalltear, Leviathan, Tokino, and Mare. She has no idea why those 5, but Yoipesuto must've been picking favorites while healing, and Tokino is literally coded to prioritize healing Leviathan so that's probably why he's alive.

She imagines that the NPCs have been doing pretty well in terms of DPS, so hopefully they'll outrank somebody when they eventually get to check the DPS charts.

Then Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami reached 10% HP, and his model began to shed some of his metallic platings as literally everything began to hurt and Jaakuna started to spam literally all of its AoE moves.

As Jaakuna's HP bar began to dwindle, their numbers also began to drop like flies from the sheer amount of damage being put out.

First to go were all 5 NPCs, because Yoipesuto decided to prioritize the players over the NPCs in this scenario. Of which the last to die was Leviathan because Tokino was pocketing him all the way to the end.

Then all of our rogues began to die as Jaakuna began to do aura damage, and Nishikirenai, Flatfoot, Genjiro, Herohero, and Tigris didn't have the defense to last long against it.

Then we slowly began to lose our tanks one by one as the DPS also fell to the amount of damage over time effects that were in play.

Jaakuna's HP bar was at 4%.

Using [Mass True Soul Revival], everyone was revived at half HP, but because of the desperate situation, they weren't healed that much so they weren't able to do much before they died again due to the AoE, which means that some of them are unable to be revived again because they hit their daily revival limit.

But Jaakuna's Hp bar was at 2%! That meant they were basically sure to win, right?

With prayers on their breaths, they hoped that Jaakuna didn't have some sort of healing mechanic as he hit 1% HP.

He starts going into the decimals place, and nothing changes.

"HE DOESN'T HAVE A LAST PHASE LET'S FUCKING GOOO!" Ulbert celebrated, and every living member celebrated with him as we knew we had this in the bag.

And so, the Helheim Catastrophe, Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami, died. Months before he was supposed to.

"YEEAAAAH!" Everyone celebrated as all of the dead were either revived, or respawned at the guild base and quickly came back up to the entrance to celebrate with everyone.

"What's the loot?! What's the loot!?" Flatfoot quickly and excitedly asked as Momonga opened up the loot tab.

IT WAS LEVEL 85 GEAR!

"WE ARE SO GOOD AT THE GAME!" Peroroncino shouted out as he started to jump in joy, Orphea predictably following his lead.

"You guys are simultaneously the best and worst group of players I've ever had the misfortune to be friends with," Vagisilious plainly said before lying down on the floor and letting the adrenaline exit her body.

"Aww, you know you love us!" Ankoro said as she laid down right next to her.

"I don't," Vagisilious said, smiling.

"I think we all got at least 1 thing we can use from this boss, by the way, here's the world item," Momonga said, moving the menus into a more readable position.

[Song of Insanity - World Class Item - A scroll with sheet music on it, with indescribable music emanating from its contents. The effects of the Song of Insanity change depending on the world it is used in, and each effect can only be used once a week. In Helheim, it summons a random horde of various Helheim bosses. - (Lore) - (World Item Rules)]

Vagisilious wasn't going to read the lore, because she doesn't care about the lore, but she's sure Denshosho was enjoying it.

"This is peak," Denshosho was crying while reading, so it was probably good. But she's still not going to read it.

"Oh, that reminds me, how is the DPS scoreboards looking like?" Ulbert said as he went to open his menu to check, then his mouth widened, "What the- GOD DAMN IT! ORPHEA WHICH DEV DID YOU PAY OFF FOR THAT BUILD?!"

Vagisilious went to check the DPS scoreboard, and she laughed as she saw the list. Orphea, Ulbert, Touch, RUBEDO, Peroroncino, LEVIATHAN, and then everyone else was lower than that.

Vagisilious understood why the mages were higher up, because she was restoring all of their mana so they didn't have to use tier 8 or 9 spells to conserve mana, but how the hell did Peroroncino hit top 5? He must've had some sort of advantage against flying creatures or something.

And Leviathan only sort of makes sense, since he's basically using the same build as Orphea, who hit #1. Though it's crazy he managed to do that in level 80 gear while they were in level 81 gear, though she supposed the difference was only 1.5% now, so she guessed it wasn't that crazy in the end.

Speaking of crazy, Peroroncino finally looked at who was above him.

"HOW DID I GET OUT DPS'D BY RUBEDO?! SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE FOR HALF THE FIGHT!" Peroroncino whined as Tabula flexed.

"Mhm! That's my NPC! That's right! That's right! The strongest NPC in Nazarick!" Tabula bragged in Peroroncino's face.

Orphea pat Peroroncino on the back, "There, there. I'm sure that BigStall rigged it all."

BigStall momentarily stopped discussing how to distribute the loot and turned to Orphea, "Why would I do that?"

Orphea shrugged, "Gut feeling."

BigStall sighed as he suddenly paused and put 2 fingers to his temple.

"Oh, is that the developers?" Mekongawa asked, "Tell them they suck."

Herohero nodded, "Yeah, tell them they suck."

Nearata nodded, "The absolute worst."

BigStall laughed, seemingly just been told something funny, and then he nodded as he shut down communication, "Alright, the guys who designed the Catastrophes just contacted me and told me that this was fine, but they didn't like us."

They all laughed, as BigStall further said, "Hm, yeah, that's probably the last time they do something like this!"

"Oh, before we start fighting over who gets the gear, group photo?" Momonga asked out to everyone, at which we all nodded.

And so, on that day, we decided to just not to the level 82 raid, because that one world enemy took a lot out of them.

And it's a shame that nobody but the 41 of them will ever know that this happened until someone realizes that Jaakuna hasn't spawned in a while, and somebody bothers to use [Hermod's Insight] on one of the Catastrophes again, despite all of the information being on the forums already.

---

A few weeks later, there was a girl's night out in Nazarick's 4th floor, taking place in Tokino and Leviathan's mega mansion, which was meant to fit their massive heteromorph forms.

"Hm, I feel really out of place here." Orphea said, staring at the massive distance between the floor and ceiling that was made to ensure Leviathan and Tokino had ample amounts of room to move as they wanted in here.

"You have no idea how much stuff I had to grind for Amano to convince him to make furniture of this size for me," Vagisilious said, nostalgia in her voice.

"Oh! I remember that! You had to grind for like 2 hours in Alfheim for his materials, right?" Ankoro said, remembering that day because she was laughing at her for her woes.

Yamaiko laughed as she remembered, "Oh, right, that reminds me how I had to kill myself all the way back to level 5 so I could just take architect classes to help out in making all of the furnitures for all of the floors…"

Bukubukuchagama patted Yamaiko on the back, "Your sacrifice was well appreciated."

Yamaiko chuckled, "Thank you."

"Oh, hey, Buku, that reminds me, on a scale of 1-10, how hot is Pero in real life?" Vagisilious suddenly asked, causing everyone else in the room to stare at her incredulously.

This was also a not-so-subtle way of trying to determine whether or not Orphea was actually going to go for Peroroncino. Because if he doesn't turn out to be that hot, it's basically over for his chances of getting a girlfriend.

And that possibility makes her shipper heart sad.

"Vaggy, I did not just hear you ask that question," Bukubukuchagama said in disbelief.

"It's a real question! Now spill or just dox him and send us a pic," Vagisilious insisted, getting closer to Bukubukuchagama.

"Seriously?!" Bukubukuchagma screamed instead.

Ankoro held her mouth open as she asked, "Vaggy, there's no way you're ever seriously considering Pero to be higher than anything but a 4 or something."

Vagisilious nods, "Yeah, maybe, but I have the sudden urge to check, because like, what if he's actually hot?"

"He doesn't shave, doesn't even shower everyday, he's basically a grease demon!" Bukubukuchagama described, getting some small laughter out of Yamaiko, who had decided to stay silent on the discussion.

"Pics or it's not real."

Bukubukuchagama groaned as she relented, "Fine! I'll look for like a recent pic, since I think I remember him sending me some and asking me for recommendations on what picture to use for his dating profile."

So, while Bukubukuchagama did that, Vagisilious snuck a look towards Orphea.

Orphea looked absolutely 100% interested in this entire situation, and was just silently making her judgement call.

So, Vagisilious decided not to interfere and let Orphea do all of the work herself.

Eventually, Bukubukuchagama sent them all a private message with Peroroncino's real face and-

"What the fuck, he's actually not that bad?" Vagisilious muttered in disbelief, not believing her eyes.

He looked older than he probably was, but he somehow managed to create an somewhat attractive older figure out of his horny character?! How does the beard and hairstyle work on him so well!? This is like, a solid 7 or 8!

"No way, he has to be using filters on this," Ankoro also said in disbelief.

Bukubukuchagama was disgusted by the comments, "I can't believe you guys are seriously thinking that HE'S anywhere close to being hot."

"Tell us or not, filter or no filter?" Vagisilious asked, also not believing that this isn't AI assisted photowork.

"It's no filter, since I told him the filters made him look insecure," Bukubukuchagama said, causing even more disbelief in the room.

"No fucking way," Vagisilious muttered in even more disbelief.

He's like, a 7. But if he was willing to put some effort into it, he could easily become a 9 or something!

"I can fix him," Orphea quietly said, staring very closely at Peroroncino's face.

But not quiet enough.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Ankoro shouted in disbelief as she stared at Orphea, "You actually admitted to that?!"

"I would never be caught saying 'I can fix him,'" Yamaiko said, also in disbelief as she stared at Orphea.

"You did not hear anything!" Orphea immediately went on the defensive, denying everything.

You could see the despair in Bukubukuchagama's slimy eyes as she said, "Oh my god. One of my friends is into my brother. I'm in an alternative dimension or something."

"I'm not!" Orphea insisted, not helping her case at all.

Vagisilious pats Orphea on the back, "It's okay to have not-so great taste, Orphea. You can admit to liking his face."

Yggdrasil doesn't have blushing mechanics, not even for humans which have the most facial expressions out of any race, because they're human, but if it did have them, Orphea's face would be a tomato as she punched her in the face for 0 damage, "I'M NOT ADMITTING TO ANYTHING!"

Ignoring her, Vagisilious immediately asked Bukubukuchagama, "Hey Buku, send Orphea Pero's phone number. Where do you guys live? I think I can pool enough money to get you guys closer to the Karasu Group's section of Tokyo."

"Vaggy, I'm not endorsing this," Bukubukuchagama deadpanned.

"I can message Pero right now and ask for his phone number and he'll give it to me 100%. I'm just asking you to skip that step," Vagisilious countered back.

They stared at each other before Bukubukuchagama finally backed down, "Oh my god I can't believe I'm doing this, fine. I'll just send it to Orphea right now."

"This is all being done without my consent!" Orphea protested.

"You'll call that number anyways," Vagisilious said, causing Orphea to look away.

Yeah, that's right. She's always right. Shipper Maestro right here.

As numbers were handed out, Yamaiko decided to join in on the debate.

On the side of Peroroncino X Orphea.

"Well, I have a boyfriend myself, so I have some tips for you if you want them," Yamaiko said, getting punched by Orphea for 0 damage.

"I DON'T WANT THEM!"

"We still have 20 minutes until we all usually exit the game, Orphea," Yamaiko said, leaning in, "We have so much work to do to get you a love life."

"I hate this," Bukubukuchagama plainly stated.

"You know that if this works out, you'll be living in top class luxury too, right?" Vagisilious mentioned.

"You know what, I can live with this," Bukubukuchagama immediately 180'd her position on the topic, "Orphea, marry my dumbass pervert brother."

"HUMILIATION IS NOT ONE OF MY KINKS!"

---

A few months passed after that, enough for the 5th expansion of Yggdrasil came out, and Vagisilious absolutely hates the fact that it's a slowburn.

Vagisilious tried literally everything to speed up the relationship, but GOD DAMNIT WHY WON'T PERORONCINO AND BUKUBUKUCHAGAMA JUST MOVE OUT SO PERORONCINO AND ORPHEA CAN MEET IN PERSON!

Speaking of, apparently Orphea's real name is Makoto, and Pero's real name is Ryuji. Which is absolutely wild that she's just now learning the real names of some of her friends of almost 4 years or something.

To be honest, Vagisilious lost track of however many years they've been together, the years have sort of been passing by quickly.

So, in the meantime, she's just been doing the usual Yggdrasil divination grind. Go to random places and just randomly search things and hope for a hit.

Orphea may have given up on trying to find a soloable world enemy that she can fight, but as a divination player, Vagisilious knows the grind of just doing this all day and having nothing to show for it day after day.

Sitting down on a random hill in Midgard, she picks a random spot and finds a castle that low level human players go to for an early game quest, and sighs as she decides to go north from there, chaining off of early game wolves and birds.

After 10 minutes of this and finding absolutely nothing, she was about to call it quits on that direction, but then someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Confusingly looking behind her, Vagisilious's heart stops as she realizes who had just interrupted her seance.

IT WAS PRINCIPALITY FROM TRIUMVIRATE.

SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD.

Principality just laughs, "You seem very stressed about something."

Oh, wait, he's not about to murder her? False alarm, girls.

"Yeah, completely warranted considering you probably wanted to murder me at one point in time," Vagisilious replied, getting up from the floor to meet him at eye level.

Also, blonde hair and blue eyes? Psh, stereotypical human player.

Not that she's going to say that out loud. She isn't interested in spending an hour grinding for 5 levels.

"Eh, I got over it," Principality said, shrugging his shoulders, "That being said, you're just doing some divination work around here?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yep, the usual. What are you doing here anyways?"

Principality sighed, "I have no idea. The rest of my guild is done for today, but I have no hobbies other than Yggdrasil."

Wow, that's sad.

"...You know, you remind me of Momonga," Vagisilious said, "He's basically the exact same. I don't think that guy even watches anime."

Principality tilted his head, "Really? Huh, I guess it takes a certain type of person to lead strong guilds like ours, then."

Vagisilious chuckled, "No, I think you're both just losers in real life."

He frowned, "You know I could totally obliterate you in like, 2 seconds, right?"

"You won't."

"Yeah, you're right, I don't care enough."

They exchanged a quick laugh before changing the topic again, as Principality asked, "Oh, right, how is Orphea doing?"

Vagisilious looked at him suspiciously, "In a 'Oh is she doing okay?' kind of way or in a 'I hope she's having the worst time of her life right now.' kind of way?"

"In a 'Oh is she doing okay?' Kind of way," Principality answered.

"She's doing great, we're trying to get her to hook up with Pero, ah, Peroroncino, the bird guy in our guild, since they've shown interest in each other, but it's a slowburn," Vagisilious replied, not sensing any bad intentions from Principality so far.

"Oh, really? Good for her," Principality said, somewhat surprised, "Wait, you know about her… living situation, right?"

Vagisilious looked at him suspiciously again.

Didn't Orphea take some lengths to ensure that nobody found out that she's rich?

So, Vagisilious instead asks, "Are you?"

"That she's a little crow?"

Oh damn, he does know. Orphea would probably be flabbergasted at how she's been found out by him.

"Dang, how do you know that?" Vagisilious curiously asked.

"Ah, well, I work at her company as one of its many salarymen, and she sometimes comes to our office to help her dad with some basic work, so I recognized her voice," Principality answered.

Oh damn, they WOULD be banging in an alternative timeline! Poor Principality, he's been robbed of a romantic route straight to the top!

"Uh, don't tell her though," Principality quickly said, "That'd be pretty awkward."

"Eh? How would that be awkward?" Vagisilious asked, sending a question mark emoji, "You're literally the only guy in Triumvirate that she liked."

"The power dynamic scares me."

"I guess that's fair."

Well, she could somewhat see the awkwardness in being the boss of someone in a game, but then also being the boss of you in real life.

Especially if that turns romantic…

Ugh! What a waste! She's happy for Peroroncino and Orphea, but the office romance that this would have resulted in would've also been cute to watch.

Oh well, she can fantasize about it in her dreams or something.

An awkward silence ensues.

"You know, you're an alright guy, I can see why Orphea liked you," She decided to break the silence, and decided on a little bit of advice, "So, if we never meet again, just remember this one thing from me. When Yggdrasil ends, stay until the forced shutdown."

"...What?" Principality confusedly asked, "Is that supposed to be some prediction or something?"

Vagisilious shrugged her shoulders, "I guess it is. Anyways, it's getting a bit late, so I'll see you on the forums on some random day?"

Principality just stared at her, and then eventually concluded, "Yeah, I guess."

---

Garnet stared very hard at the gate between himself and the treasury.

The newest expansion, Valkyrie's Downfall, added a bunch of stuff for the small heteromorphic section of robots like himself and his NPC, CZ2128 Delta, so he was currently respeccing her with some better classes added in the expansion and some better gear. And because some older gear was changed to fit the new classes, he was going to look to see if they had anything that would fit Shizu.

Because, right now, she was in garbage level 40 gear that's only been transmogged to make her look cooler, and she could really use that extra 6 levels to get to her level of 46.

But instead…

Garnet stares very hard at the gate between himself and the treasury.

If he recalled, Tabula was the one who coded this thing, and he made the password something super edgy. But…

He has no idea what the password is.

He hasn't been down here in like, years, because he would just hand off his unneeded gear to Momonga and he knew everything down here, so he hasn't really been down here in forever.

Garnet looked at Shizu, who he had brought down here with him so he wouldn't have to spend time teleporting up and down Nazarick to see what fits and what doesn't, and he rhetorically asked, "Hey, Shizu, do you know the password?"

CZ2128 Delta remained silent.

Yeah, that's what he thought.

He could probably just message one of his fellow guild members right now and they'd probably remember the password, but that would sort of be embarrassing to tell them that he forgot the password to one of the most sacred areas in their guild base.

So instead, he started shouting random things.

"Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Ainz Ooal Gown reigns supreme!"

"Love Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"King Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Supreme Beings of Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Tabula is awesome!"

"We are cool!"

"Garnet can't remember the password!"

"Okay, it's probably something to do with Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Ainz Ooal Gown beats Everyone!"

"Ainz Ooal Gown #1!"

"Momonga is Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Ainz Ooal Gown is Momonga!"

"Super Awesome Tribute to Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"Ainz Ooal Gown is awesome!"

"All Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown!"

Suddenly, in response to that last one, the jet-black door displayed a series of words: "Ascendit a terra in coelum, iterumque descendit in terram, et recipit vim superiorum et inferiorum."

"Aha! Got it!" Garnet celebrated as he quickly edited Shizu's bio to add this little tidbit inside to make sure that if he ever forgot it, he would be able to just check Shizu and be done with it.

And then he walked straight into the door and predictably got rejected.

Okay, so that wasn't the right password, god damn it. It was probably some master password that gives out a hint to what the real password is.

Well, it obviously has to do with the weird text on the door, so…

What language is that? English? French?

Tabula made the password, so what language would he use for this…

Hang on, wasn't Tabula's name stolen from some… Latin?

So, he pulls up the internet on one of his menus and searches for some Latin to Japanese translator, and painstakingly inputs every single letter into the translator.

After 10 minutes and getting something that looks sort of right, he said, "By this means you shall acquire the glory of the whole world, and so you shall drive away all shadows and blindness."

The door finally opens.

"Aha! Let's go! Shizu, you are remembering all of that in case I forget that ever again."

God, how was anyone supposed to remember that?

---

Years ago…

Tabula stared at the password he made. And then he proudly nodded.

"Yeah, nobody's getting through that."

Then, he made a small portal pad nearby that would activate for members of Ainz Ooal Gown only.

Man, Ariadne's so easy to get through.

---

"You guys wanna play truth or dare?" Wish III decided to ask the 8 members who were currently just chilling on the 9th floor.

"I would annihilate you guys in a game of truth or dare, I have no shame," Peroroncino immediately declared.

"I can confirm that he has no shame," Bukubukuchagama said, unimpressed, "But yeah, I can do a round."

"I'm game," Vagisilious said, "Orphea, you're joining in too."

Orphea whipped her head towards Vagisilious, "Wha- Why am I being dragged into this?!"

"Because I said so."

"Agh, fine. Sure, I can do a round too," Orphea relented.

Ulbert, Tabula, Bellriver, and Momonga all nodded as well, confirming them into the quick game of truth or dare.

BigStall suddenly entered the room, "I was banning some morons who didn't know what being nice meant, but then I looked at the recent voice logs and heard you guys were playing, so count me in too."

"Wait, you have voice logs?!" Peroroncino asked, his voice tinged with panic.

"Being horny doesn't count as a bannable offense."

"Oh thank god."

Orphea hummed, "You know, I'd be sort of afraid of a gaming company having our voice logs, but I don't think I really care that much."

"C'mon, can we get to the game already?" Ulbert groaned.

"Just for that, Ulbert, you're going first." Wish III said.

"I can do that, are we drawing from sticks to decide who asks, though?"

"Yeah, I can make that real quick, [Create Item]!"

After a quick second, the sticks were all in place, and so we quickly drew our numbers.

Momonga was able to ask the question, "Truth or dare?"

Ulbert replied, "Truth."

Momonga tapped on his chin for a moment as he decided to ask, "It's sort of been on my mind, why did you base Demiurge off of Orphea's dad?"

"Cause her dad looks evil, obviously," Ulbert simply answered

"...Ah, I probably should've seen that coming."

Orphea didn't look too upset by the answer, but more upset over the question, "What a waste of a truth, I already knew the answer to that question."

Momonga sheepishly scratched his skull, "Sorry."

After that, it was Tabula's turn to be questioned by Wish III.

Wish asked, "Truth or dare?"

Tabula thought about it for a moment before asking, "Dare."

"I want you to make your maid, Citrinitas, super horny for you."

Tabula tilted his head, "...Why?"

Wish shrugged, "Because I think it's funny."

Tabula sighed as he went to do that task, and once again, we started complaining.

"That was a crappy dare, Wish." Vagisilious said, "You could've done anything and you decide to make him edit a bio he could change at any time?"

BigStall nodded, "Yeah, bad wish."

Wish III groaned, "Shut up, I was under time pressure!"

"You're the one who suggested this, how did you not have questions or dares in your back pocket?!" Ulbert questioned, flabbergasted.

"Shut up!"

Soon, Tabula returned and said, "I did that, anyways, who's next?"

It was Bellriver's turn next, and he was to be questioned by Peroroncino.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What's your craziest kink?"

"Dare."

"Tell us what's your craziest kink."

"Dude, what the hell!"

After a minute of verbal arguments, Bellriver finally gave into Peroroncino's demands and admitted, "Okay! Fine! It's slavery!"

Peroroncino seemed a bit disappointed, "Oh, that's not that crazy."

Bellriver was somehow offended by this, "What the hell, dude?!"

Then, Vagisilious then realized, "Hold on, Bellriver, what's in your maid's bio?"

Everyone paused for a moment.

Bellriver quickly ran to the door that led out of the room and said, "Vaggy, I will pay you real life money not to exit this room to check that."

Vagisilious sent an evil grin emoji, "You fool, you should've done anything but that."

Vagisilious quickly teleported out of the room and rushed to find Bellriver's maid NPC, and as soon as she finds it, she opens the bio.

And there it was, caught in 8K, it plainly stated, "She is Bellriver's slave and enjoys being used."

"CAUGHT IN 8K, BELLRIVER!" She shouted out as Bellriver appeared and then suddenly fell to his knees.

"You monster…"

"I'm not the one with the slavery fetish."

"...Okay, fair enough."

After that settled down, the next person to be questioned was Wish III, to be questioned by BigStall.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Favorite pokemon?"

"That one genie pokemon from uh… The early gen."

"Hoopa?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

It was a very boring question and answer.

The next was Momonga by Orphea.

"Truth or dare?"

Momonga thought about it for a moment before answering, "Hm, I'll go with dare."

"Do something really cringy and let me record it."

"Wha-"

"There we go! Finally a good question!" Vagisilious celebrated, "Good job, Orphea! This is the true spirit of truth or dare!"

Momonga floundered as he got up and started to… Well, the thing he was trying to do was dance without the aid of an emote, but what it more accurately was is him throwing himself in random directions and pretending he was dancing.

Overall, 10/10 dare, and they now have blackmail for Momonga.

Next up was BigStall by Bukubukuchagama.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who's voice in this room do you like the most?"

BigStall thought about it for half a second before immediately answering, "Vaggy. The slight American accent she has in her voice is neat."

Bukubukuchagama was annoyed, "The correct answer was me."

"Too bad I don't watch hentai," BigStall replied.

Vagisilious sent BigStall a big thumbs up, "Your deadpan voice is pretty cool too, BigStall."

"Thanks."

Next up was Orphea by, yours truly, Vagisilious.

With the most devious tone in her voice, Vagisilious asked, "Truth or dare?"

Orphea backed away, "Vaggy, I don't like that look you're giving me."

Vagisilious repeated, "Truth. Or dare?"

Orphea was actually starting to stand up, "Vaggy, I REALLY don't like that look you're giving me."

Vagisilious repeated once more, "TRUTH. OR DARE?"

Orphea hesitantly said, "...Truth?"

"I want you to confess your feelings for Pero right now."

"Dare! Dare!" Orphea immediately backtracked.

"I want you to send a picture of yourself naked to Pero right now."

"What the hell!?"

"Uh, that's pretty extreme, Vaggy," Peroroncino himself commented despite having everything to gain from this situation.

"Shut up, Pero, I'm helping you," Vagisilious shook him off.

BigStall put in his own 2 cents, "That's a crazy question to ask someone, Vaggy."

"It is so not," Vagisilious plainly stated, "Now, Orphea, what will it be?"

Orphea sent a duel request.

Vagisilious declined.

Orphea tried to weasel her way out of this situation by going to Momonga, "Momonga, I'm going to need a verdict on this situation."

Momonga put his foot down, "If she feels uncomfortable doing this, then she doesn't have to do it."

Orphea breathed out a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Momonga."

Vagisilious sent a flat look towards Momonga, "This is how I know none of you watch romance anime."

Peroroncino looked at her oddly, "Uh, I don't think that has anything to do with Orphea not wanting to do something like confessing feelings or sending nudes."

Vagisilious announced, "I hate slow burns."

Orphea sighed, "...Vaggy, if you could feel my temperature right now, it'd be super high right now. Can I just get a different truth?"

Vagisilious finally towed the party line and said, "Ugh! Fine! Just tell Pero you're super appreciative or something."

"...What would the dare be?" Orphea asked, despite fully knowing that she won't like the answer.

"Sit in his lap."

"You know, Pero, you're my favorite member of the guild right now."

"Aw, thank you, Orphea, you're my favorite too."

Bukbukuchagama silently messaged Vagisilious, "Vaggy, I think you're acting a bit too forceful and doing more harm than good right now."

Vagisilious messaged back, "I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I hate slow burns and those two just need to start kissing."

"Look, we're going to be moving to where Orphea is in 2 weeks, can you handle that wait?"

"No."

"...Ugh, you will."

After that, the game was a bit more muted as Bukubukuchagama was chosen to be questioned by Tabula.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Since you have a photography hobby, take a picture of Pero and Orphea in a way that makes it look like they're married."

TABULA! MY MAN! SHE ALWAYS KNEW TABULA WAS A GOOD GUY ON HER SIDE ALL ALONG!

"Oh, she left the game, nevermind. Your dare is to just make yourself a pancake."

THE COWARD!

Orphea didn't make a return after that, so the last pair was herself questioned by Bellriver.

"Okay, Vaggy, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"If you had to date anyone in Ainz Ooal Gown, who would it be?"

Vagisilious responded without delay in a very dead tone, "Eh, Punitto, probably, since I've known him the longest."

"...You answered that surprisingly fast," Bellriver said, suspicious.

Vagisilious shrugged, "I've thought about it, but he lives halfway across the country from me so it's been a dud idea. And I have no idea who else here lives close to me in Tokyo."

Bellriver sighed, "...It makes sense, but man, that was boring."

And after that disappointing finale, our quick match of truth or dare was over.

And then we immediately go into post game discussion.

"Hm, weak questions on all of your parts, honestly," Vagisilious stated, staring at Momonga in particular, who had just returned her stare with a shrug.

"How is being insensitive a good question?" BigStall asked as though it was a genuine question.

"What you call 'insensitive' I call a source of good entertainment."

"I, for one, believe that you're all the worst," Bellriver said, arms crossed across his chest.

"You're just mad your slavery kink was revealed," Tabula casually observed.

"Yeah, I am," Bellriver admitted.

"Speaking of reveals, Vaggy, Tabula, what the hell was that all about?!" Peroroncino demanded, "That was a super awkward situation!"

"You're both clearly interested in each other, and you've been dancing around each other for months now and it's pissing me off," Vagisilious said, annoyed, "Just skip to the part where you're kissing!"

"You- do you even know if-"

Vagisilious raised a hand, "Stop. Stop right there, Pero. She literally told you IN YOUR FACE that you're her favorite person in this guild. I have seen you following each other like PUPPIES. You LITERALLY give each other hentai recommendations. This is the most plain and simple set up for a romance possible, AND YOU'RE MAKING IT A SLOW BURN!"

"I- We haven't even met each other in person!"

"ONLINE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE LITERALLY A THING!" Vagisilious shouted.

"THAT'S WEIRD!"

Vagisilious crossed her arms, "No it's not- okay, fine, whatever. But if you guys aren't banging on the same week that you two finally meet, I'm literally going to skip work for a day to find you and lock you two morons into a bedroom myself!"

Peroroncino stood up, "You know what? I'm out, this is way too freaking insane!"

And so, Peroroncino left the game.

Vagisilious turned to Bukubukuchagama, "I'm relying on you to make this ship happen, Buku."

Bukubukuchagama just sighed, "Hah… Yeah, whatever. By the way, Pero and I won't be online as often so we can prepare to move out. So that's the next 2 weeks for us. See ya."

Bukubukuchagama left the game.

And so, it was just her and the boys.

Momonga cleared his throat before speaking, "That, uh, was super awkward to be in the same room with. That felt like we were intruding on a private conversation."

"Yeah, no kidding, alright," Ulbert agreed with Momonga as he turned to her, "I'm with you, honestly, but there are better ways to go about it, man."

Vagisilious sent a frown emoji, "I hate slow burns, so they're going to start kissing or I'm going to have strong words with God for making me go through this."

"None of us are religious."

"I will make God exist so I can have strong words with him."

---

3 weeks later, Peroroncino and Orphea both came up to her looking VERY ashamed of something.

Because of that, she instantly knew she had won.

"Yep, I know. You can thank me by giving me the story on how you guys are married now," Vagisilious said before they had even spoken a word.

"You seem happier than we are that we're together now." Orphea shyly noted, and Peroroncino just nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that's kind of crazy, Vaggy. How are you more happier about this than we are?" Peroroncino said, basically copying Orphea's point.

"You guys have no idea how long I've waited for you two clowns to get together," Vagisilious stressed, "Now, tell me how it happened or you're both not going to be healed for the next 10 raids."

Orphea and Peroroncino looked at each other before looking back to her.

They didn't speak a word.

"It was embarrassing, wasn't it?"

They both drooped down and admitted, "...Yeah."

"Hey, Pero, did you meet her dad yet?" Vagisilious curiously asked, allowing them to have some time to collect themselves to get to the embarrassing part.

Peroroncino looked a bit less embarrassed about that, "Yeah, that guy scared me. Looked exactly like Demiurge- Or, well, Demiurge looked exactly like him. So the entire time he's telling me that he's putting a lot of trust in me and my sister to be near his daughter, I'm thinking to myself about how he looked and acted exactly like how Ulbert described Demiurge."

Orphea nodded with him, "Yeah, and then when he finished speaking to him, he pulled me into the side and revealed to me that I knew about the crush I had on him, and told me that if I wanted to date him, I'd have to put more effort into trying to be a good CEO, since his original plan was just to have me marry someone competent and be a puppet CEO."

"Huh? That's kind of messed up," Vagisilious said, because yeah, it was messed up to marry off your daughter to make her a puppet for her husband.

Which was probably going to be like 20 years older than- Wait.

"Hold on, before you answer that question, what's the age gap between you two?"

"...Uh…" Peroroncino floundered before looking at Orphea, "I'm 29, you?"

"I'm 21. 8 years? That's fine, probably," Orphea answered, before turning to her, "A completely normal age difference, wouldn't you agree?"

…Eh. Maybe. This dystopia screwed with her morality a lot, but this couple is super cute so it works out.

"Yeah, I guess so," Vagisilious accepted.

Orphea nodded, "Yeah, so, anyways, that whole marrying me off thing was probably done in my best interest so I could keep my lazy lifestyle, but I do kind of want to be the super powerful CEO, so I'll have to use my mornings and afternoons to work on being scarier. And I can keep the evenings for Yggdrasil."

"Aw, so you'll be online less often?" Vagisilious asked, a bit saddened by the notion of seeing her friends less.

Orphea nods, "Probably, yeah. I'll still make it to basically everything, though, since my dad still has a few years left in him. He's older than he looks."

Okay, that's fine. But now, she's done enough waiting.

Rubbing her hands together, she leans in and asks, "Alright, so, tell me, how did you get together?"

Peroroncino groaned, and Orphea covered her face with her hands.

"You're not getting that story out of us," Peroroncino flatly declined.

"Wha- But all I did to help you get together!"

"Ryuji- Oh, wait, right, game. Pero got us together, not you," Orphea said after getting over her trip up of doxxing Peroroncino.

"So it was Pero who did this super embarrassing thing?" Vagisilious deduced, and then she said, "Alright, wild guess, when you two were alone for the first time, Pero tripped up over his words because of how cute you were, and decided to say 'Hey wanna watch hentai with me?' And then because you're both degenerates, you did. And then you fucked."

Peroroncino and Orphea both had their mouths open in shock.

So, she was right.

"How did you guess that?!"

"I know my friends."

---

Once the rest of the guild found out, they promptly held a huge celebration for the both of them for finally getting together because the rest of them felt as if this was a canon event that was bound to happen eventually.

And as it turns out, nobody in the guild likes slow burn, so they were all very happy that they finally got together.

Coup De Grace, for one, was starting to call Peroroncino master, which was incredibly funny.

Not to Peroroncino, but his opinion literally doesn't matter.

Anyhow, that celebration lasted for 10 minutes as everyone went back to business after they got over the shock that Peroroncino of all people managed to get a girlfriend before most of the guild did, and just went to do other things since it was a slow day.

But since she didn't have any anime or shows lined up for today, she just stayed in Yggdrasil and spoke to her fellow losers who had nothing better to do other than stay in Nazarick.

For her, that fellow loser happened to be Momonga.

"Say, Momonga, where do you live?" Vagisilious decided to ask.

"Eh? Me? I live in Shibuya," Momonga replied, getting a bit of disappointment from her.

"Man, is there someone in Tokyo in our guild that doesn't live an hour away from where I am in Tokyo?" Vagisilious lightly whined, "I can't date anyone if the commute to kiss anyone is 2 hours from here to there."

"Eh, I'm sure you'll find someone," Momonga comforted her in a casual sort of way, "You're American, so people will just try to date you so you can whisk them away to America."

Vagisilious sent a frown emoji, "You know that's literally the exact reason why I don't like any of my potential suitors, right?"

Momonga thoughtfully nodded, "Ah, right, that makes sense. You want to be seen for more than your passport."

Vagisilious nodded before continuing the conversation, "Yeah. Well, anyways, I'll work on that myself, but how about you? I'm actually surprised Peroroncino found someone before you. Are you actually hideous in real life?"

Momonga took a step back in shock, "What?! No, I look completely average!"

Vagisilious wisely nodded, "That's what they all say."

Momonga sighed as he resigned to the teasing, "I'm sure they do. But no, I think I'm just a bit too boring for most people."

"Yeah, that's true. Isn't your only hobby Yggdrasil?" Vagisilious asked, because really, she has not seen him play any other game than Yggdrasil.

Even she's done some experimenting with other games, even though she usually drops them because she doesn't find them that interesting.

Except for Pokemon, she buys every Pokemon game. But she doesn't really talk to BigStall about them because he's a bit more competitive about it than she is so their interests don't really overlap other than talking about favorite Pokemon.

And really, all of her favorite pokemons are from the first 9 generations, because that's what she knew in her old world, which absolutely baffles BigStall.

Momonga shrugged, "I like Yggdrasil the best. And I'm not really that big of an anime fan because I can't really stand sitting around and watching something for 25 minutes straight."

"Why not try those dive theater apps? I haven't tried them myself, but I hear they're good," Vagisilious suggested.

"I did, but I keep feeling as though I'm not really invested in anything that they're doing, even if the animation is good," Momonga answered.

Hm, that does make sense, she supposed. She drops a lot of anime because the characters are too stupid or don't look that good in her opinion.

"Hm, then you wanna learn English?" Vagisilious decided to ask, getting a question mark emoji from Momonga.

"What prompted that?" Momonga asked.

"I dunno, I just wanna hear someone close to me speak English rather than just watching English youtube," Vagisilious said, half lying and half not.

Her very magical translator that she learnt how to turn on and off still works, and since she was feeling a bit too stressed when he first got to Japan, everyone in Japan did speak English to her, but the lips didn't match and that drived her absolutely crazy for a long time.

But she's had that off for a while in the hopes that she can stop perpetuating the myth of the lazy American and actually learn a second language. And then she did.

And now she wants to hear English again, but she didn't want to get into a bad habit of just turning on a magical translator inside of her head every time, because then she might lose her grasp on speaking foreign languages.

So, the obvious solution is to just teach someone English to scratch her itch, and hey, what else is Momonga going to do? Say no?

Momonga said, "Hmm… Well, I guess I could help you scratch that itch. I have nothing better else to do."

"Momonga, this is why you're my favorite member in this guild."

---

"Psst, Hey Touch," Peroroncino not so silently asked him a few days after Orphea took pity on him and started dating him, "You have a wife, right?"

Touch stared at Peroroncino, and he probably could've guessed what he was going to say, but he decided to let Peroroncino say whatever he had to say to make it less embarrassing for him, so he said, "Yeah, what about her?"

"So, uh, how long was the wait before you started dating and the proposal?" Peroroncino quietly asked, looking around to make sure he wasn't heard.

Speaking of, what an absolutely absurd question to ask literally not even a week after starting dating. That really showed the extent of Peroroncino's hentai knowledge, huh?

That being said, he holds the power in his hands to completely mock his friend's relationship and set him on the path of total embarrassment.

But alas, Touch Me was a warrior of pure virtues, so he wouldn't make his friend look stupid in front of his other friend.

"Oh, I think it was like, half a year? But I know some other people waited like a year or two just to REALLY make sure they were the one," Touch answered, "But I had no doubts, and she didn't have any either. So you'll probably end up like me, depending on what you do at night."

Touch paused.

"Wait, are you already…?" Touch let the question hang in the air.

Peroroncino, surprisingly, had enough shame in his body to quickly say "Okay thanks bye!"

And then he quickly left the area.

Touch let the empty room stay quiet for a moment as he contemplated what had just happened.

Then, someone messaged him.

Vagisilious, to be more precise.

"I heard all of that."

"Remind me to never say anything revealing while you're online."

"I am an all seeing fairy."

"No, you're not."

---

"Ugh, are you kidding me?! BigStall, who runs the lore department, who's writing the damn story for this game?!" Denshosho shouted at BigStall who was currently smiting people in his GM gear from far away.

"Hm?" BigStall stopped what he was doing to momentarily listen to Denshosho, "What's up? Did the lore team write garbage again?"

Denshosho nodded, "Exactly that! BigStall, they're trying to make Kikai no ōbōna Meka some sort of…" Denshosho opened and closed his tiny goblin hands as he tried to comprehend the words coming out of his mouth, "Sympathetic villain!"

BigStall tilted his head, "Aren't the mechanical world bosses supposed to have gone insane because of Nidhoggr, and so are inherently sympathetic?"

"Yes, but not the fucking final boss!" Denshosho shouted out, "He's half the reason Nidhoggr was able to corrupt the mech world bosses! He's the cause of all the evil present in the machines!"

BigStall hummed, "I see."

He didn't see at all. He really did not care about the lore.

Despite this, Denshosho was still seething, "Now, according to this dumpster fire they call a codex, they're trying to say that Kikai no ōbōna Meka is the result of evil scientists turning good AI into bad! Agh! BigStall, get me a meeting with whoever is writing this shit! They need to get their shit kicked in!"

BigStall thought about it for a few seconds. He had to weigh what was more important, his job, or his entertainment?

Ultimately, the side holding the most money won out, "Denshosho, I'm not doxxing my co-workers for you."

Denshosho grumbled, "Damn it. Tell them this story sucks ass though."

"Sure will."

BigStall did not.

---

Inside of the 4th floor megamansion, a very important thing was happening.

Well, to Vagisilious, it was super important, but for Momonga, it was literally hell.

"Look, Momonga, we are learning the most basic 1st grade English possible," Vagisilious stressed, "How are you struggling?"

"All of the vowels get my tongue mixed up!" Momonga defended himself, "Won't you just let me keep my Engrish? You sometimes mention how Japanese people terribly pronounce English is cute!"

"That may be true for normal Japanese people," Vagisilious conceded, "But I'll be damned if one of my closest friends butcher my beautiful language!"

She was exaggerating, obviously. The cute accents make up for the deep pains she feels whenever she hears people mispronounce words. But that didn't mean she was going to stop teasing Momonga.

"I'm not butchering it!" Momonga claimed, "I'm just, uh… Having my own unique take on the language!"

Oh, dang, if she were a freedom-loving patriot, she might've actually fallen for that trick. That's a pretty American statement.

It's a shame her patriotism is non-existent at this point other than a superficial love for her old life.

"Yeah, that's a nice way of saying you're incapable! Now c'mon, by the end of tonight you'll be singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star like a good American!"

---

The Yggdrasil Times

Helheim Catastrophe, Jaakuna Kitai Hebigami Slain?!

Months Before Gear Level 85!

And We Don't Know Who Did It!

Written By: Abe-San

At the beginning of the expansion, the 9 Catastrophes were introduced as these fearsome world enemies that were only intended to be fought at the end of the expansion. Until that point, the 9 Catastrophes were meant to go on a rampage every week throughout all 9 worlds of Yggdrasil until a group of players could finally strike them down.

As they were all first spotted, the super tier spells [Hermod's Insight] , [Yggdrasil's Knowledge] , and [Myriad Truths] were all used on the 9 Catastrophes to find out that the first group to defeat one of the 9 Catastrophes were to obtain a world item, [Song of Insanity].

That spurred an arms race between many top guilds to attempt to track down and kill each one of the 9 Catastrophes as quickly as they could, which has been going on for the past 3 months as each top guild such as Triumvirate, Seraphim, and others failed to defeat the Catastrophes again and again due to the sudden nature of the 9 Catastrophes.

However, this race may already be over, as recently, some players have noted when using [Yggdrasil's Knowledge] on the Niflheim Catastrophe, Akumanokikai Kumajin, who appeared 2 days ago, none of the 9 Catastrophes drop [Song of Insanity] any longer.

And after some cross examination, the Helheim Catastrophe, Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami, hasn't appeared in a very long time, which has gone unnoticed by most players due to the random nature of the Catastrophe's spawnings.

So, that begs the question, who actually killed the Helheim Catastrophe?

---

"Hey, you wanna reveal our screenshot?" Ulbert asked Momonga after everyone figured out that the Helheim Catastrophe was super dead, and has been for like a month.

Momonga thought about it for a moment before shrugging, "Eh, let's ask the guild first."

---

They decided to not reveal it, mostly because they didn't want anyone to know who had the world item, or the fact that it dropped level 85 gear.

---

By the time the 7th expansion of Yggdrasil came around and pushed things to level 90 gear, most people had forgotten about the 9 Catastrophes because they only needed level 83 gear to stomp on all 9 of them, so they ended up just keeping it as a guild secret.

Anyways, that's not really relevant, because Vagisilious and Orphea were just chilling in the 6th floor arena and talking about their NPCs.

Orphea ended up 'finishing' Liberta, and so she was finally done taking every buyable NPC level every expansion. So Punitto ended up taking the rest to buff up the 8th floor some more.

At the moment, Orphea was talking about Liberta's clones, "Well, I thought having the same build like 6 different times doesn't really help with 'perspective' so I ended up changing all of his clones to have different builds. That way, he can be like, double the smartness he was before because now it's not just age he has a different perspective in, but also the type of thinking as like a warrior or monk or whatever."

Vagisilious nodded in slight admiration, "That's a really cool idea, and I'm super mad I didn't come up with it first. But in Liberta's bio, isn't he the one making all of his clones? How did he make them have different classes?"

Orphea shrugged, "I dunno, I just made Liberta Prime really smart and said that he figured it out."

"Hm, would that make him the smartest NPC in Nazarick, then?" She asked.

Orphea nodded, "Well, obviously! He has like 5 different versions of himself to help him figure things out from 5 different perspectives, not to mention that they all share a telekinetic link with each other so that perspective can come basically instantaneously!"

She tilted her head, "Wouldn't that mean all of the Liberta's will make the same decision, then?"

Orphea shook her head, "No, of course not! Each Liberta will take in everyone else's perspective of the situation, and all go about using that perspective in ways that's unique to their stage of life."

Hm, that sounded really cool, "Hm, can you list out all of the Libertas again? And then their life stage or whatever?"

"Again? Seriously?" Orphea whined, but then she relented, "Alright, from early to late, I have Liberta In The Youth of His Life, or just Liberta Youth, which is like canonically 10 or something, Liberta In The Adolescence of His Life, Or just Liberta Adolescence, who's a teenager. Liberta At The Penultimate Stage of His Life, or Liberta Penultimate, who's in his mid 20s. Liberta At The Prime of His Life, Liberta Prime and also the level 100 one, who's in his mid 30s, then we have Liberta in The Evening of His Life, Liberta Evening is around 65ish, and then we have Liberta At The Midnight of His Life, who's 100 years old."

Alright, so that's 1 level 100 Liberta who's the main guy, and then 5 other Libertas, plus his sister.

Vagisilious wonders how her sister feels having 6 different versions of her brother.

Because if that was Bukubukuchagama, Vagisilious would know a suicide victim.

"That's cool, and what level are the clones?" Vagisilious asked.

Orphea scratched her head as she counted them out in front of her, "Uh, the youth is like level 30, the adolescent is level 40, the penultimate is level 80-"

"Wow, that's a massive leap," Vagisilious mentioned.

Orphea agreed, "I know, but I was a bit tight on levels and just didn't want them all to be weak. And the evening is level 60, and midnight is level 50. Oh, and Lucilla is level 70."

Vagisilious stated the obvious, "I guess you weren't tight on levels after that?"

Orphea shook her head, "Nope! I paid for every single level as each expansion dropped. I started off with 280 levels, and this final group is 430 levels. I was actually thinking of buying the next 100 levels we get the next expansion and making a giant whale."

Vagisilious tilted her head, "A whale? Why?"

"Cause, you know, I'm a whale," Orphea joked.

Vagisilious felt a little stupid for not realizing it, "Oh! Haha! That's pretty funny, but I don't think the lake on this floor has enough space for a whale, right? They're pretty massive."

"Which is exactly why I'm going to bribe BigStall to bribe the developers to make some sort of NPC exclusive skill to make them smaller or larger, that way, the whale can be small in his default state and massive in his battle state."

Orphea seemed pretty proud of that one, but Vagisilious had to ask, "Why not just give the whale a human form?"

Orphea balled her hands into fists and raised it, "No, it has to be a whale all the time! Otherwise it gets rid of the aura of fear that it'll strike into our opponents!"

Vagisilious didn't sound convinced, "I don't think anyone would be scared of a giant whale."

Orphea crossed her arms and smugly asked, "Have you ever been in front of a giant whale before?"

"...Yeah, that's fair, what are you going to name it?" Vagisilious asked.

Orphea scratched her head, "Uh, I searched up whale gods online, and it said something like Tangaroa? I think that's a cool name, so I'll use that."

"That is peak name creation."

---

A few months later, heteromorphic NPC lovers rejoiced as the developers finally gave giant NPCs ways to be smaller.

And so, the lake on the 6th floor became home to a giant whale, which Orphea decided would be abyssal because Orphea loves the whole abyssal aesthetics, named Tangaroa, who she managed to convince Orphea to add in the bio as a 'near world enemy' monster.

Mostly because she wanted Leviathan to be the strongest when the whole isekai thing happens, because he deserves it.

Still though, Yggdrasil is becoming more popular than ever, how the hell is it going to die?

---

The 6th expansion actually really didn't have much going for Ainz Ooal gown. They did all of the grinding, did all of the PvP events, did all of the raids, but it was sort of just… Normal.

But considering ever since Orphea joined and they've been going after massive event after massive event, a relatively calm expansion was warmly received by their guild.

And then the 7th expansion also turned out calm, and we decided that it was probably an act of karma balancing out the craziness of the earlier expansions with the calmness of the later expansions.

That being said, they still had a bunch of fun during those 2 calm expansions.

---

Decked out in a full set of gear from 3 expansions ago that looks suitably evil on her, Vagisilious used a paid emote to appear from a gust of smoke.

The theme for this roleplay session was that she, Trella Napoleon Aiko (She made it up on the spot) had stolen the grand treasure, basically the equivalent of the One Piece, and everyone in the guild had to search through the newly added ocean in Asgard to find it.

And so, she appeared on the guild boat that was used to traverse the ocean. She actually forgot the name of the ship, though.

"Hahaha! Foolish mortals!" Vagisilious mocked as she grabbed the guild's attention, "The grand treasure was pathetically easy to find. Hardly even worth its name! But because you incompetent oafs wish so badly to venture into the depths of the unknown, I have tossed the grand treasure into the depths of the ocean! I have hidden it in a place where even the mightiest of adventurers will get crushed to a pulp! Can you find it, 'heroes'? Hahahahaha!"

She teleports away, and listens to her friends roleplay.

Ulbert was the first to speak, adjusting his pirate cap, "Hmph, Trello truly thinks that we would tremble before her terrible might? Absurd."

Nishikienrai looked fabulous in his full set of pirate gear he managed to steal off of another player's corpse, as he crossed his arms to look cool, "Foolish indeed! There is no place where the treasure can hide from us! Yoipesuto, how do the waters look?"

Yoipesuto replied as he was hoisting the sail, "Nothing we can't traverse through!"

"Orphea!" Momonga, the captain of the ship, called out, "Any enemy ships nearby?"

Orphea was standing with Peroroncino up at the very top of the ship. Orphea was fairly new to actually roleplaying, but since Peroroncino liked to roleplay, Orphea was eagerly doing her best, "Uh… No!"

Peroroncino shouted after her, "Clear weather too, captain!"

Momonga then put his hands on the wheel, "Then let us go! We will find the Great Treasure!"

The entire crew of Ainz Ooal Gown cheered as their ship traveled to lands unknown in the procedurally generated ocean of Asgard.

Meanwhile, Vagisilious was chilling on the bottom floor of the ship, waiting around for something interesting to happen.

Ulbert walked up to her, "Hmm, I spy with my little eye… A little antisocial fairy."

She hit him with a tier 1 spell, which obviously did nothing, "Blegh, I'm the bad guy! I can't be seen with all of you, it'll ruin the immersion!"

Ulbert laughed, "Haha! Who cares? Put on that pirate set we gave you, we're going to find treasure! You can just 'die' in the middle of something anyways."

Oh, right, she could just change sets and switch characters. Is she stupid?

Vagisilious quickly does so, pulling out her pirate set out from her inventory, "Yar har, Ulbert! My bad for being kind of dumb."

Ulbert wisely nodded, "Dumb indeed. Now c'mon, we've got loot to plunder!"

---

Orphea was still stuck at the top of the ship, lazily looking out into the distance, "Hm, it's kind of boring up here, can we go back down?"

Peroroncino, who was busy trying to play a harp he found in Nazarick's treasury, probably one of Wasewaru's old ones, looked at her and tilted his head, "Eh? Are you telling me that you don't like my music?"

Orphea shook her head, "Nah, I do. But I kind of wanna talk with someone other than you."

Peroroncino sent her a crying emoji, "Orphea, I can't believe you're burning out on me!"

Orphea sent him a tongue out emoji, "I still love you, but it's definitely not healthy to stick together all day everyday. Need some variety in the people I'm talking with, right?"

Peroroncino sighed, "Ah… Yeah, that's fair. I should probably catch up with some of the other guys in the guild too."

Before Orphea jumped to the deck of the ship, she did one more sweep of the area, just to ensure nothing bad was about to happen.

Then, Orphea found an obnoxiously white ship. Upon closer inspection...

"Hold on, is that Seraphim's ship?" Orphea questioned, getting Peroroncino's attention.

"Huh? Let me look," Peroroncino took out his own spyglass, "Hm… Oh shit."

It actually was Seraphim's ship, The Creator.

And it was coming straight towards them.

"GUYS! GUYS! SERAPHIM IS COMING!" Peroroncino shouted out to the deck, immediately energizing everyone.

"What?!" Momonga shouted in surprise as he checked the direction Peroroncino was pointing in, then realizing he was right, "Uh- Everyone stop roleplaying! We're getting out of here!"

Momonga immediately switched directions and directed the guild ship to the nearest neutral hub.

Vagisilious asked Ulbert, "Hey, do you think you can lob a meteor onto their ship?"

Ulbert eyed the distance, "Nah, the distance is too far."

"No, I meant you aim at where they'll be in like, 5 seconds from now," Vagisilious elaborated, "So you can hit their ship."

Ulbert paused as he considered it.

Then, Ulbert announced, "Surprise competition! Let's see how many spells we can hit Seraphim's ship with!"

"Do arrows count?" Peroroncino asked as he came down to the deck.

Ulbert nodded, "Yeah, sure, why not?"

Everyone immediately lined up, and made a game out of it as BigStall announced, "All right, whoever gets the most hit wins! I'll observe the damage from GM Mode, so I'll know who wins! Alright?"

As everyone confirmed their understanding, Momonga exasperatedly said, "Guys, we have to turn…"

"Not yet you're not!" Vagisilious protested, "This is the perfect configuration for hitting Seraphim!"

Momonga sighed, as he conceded to the fact that there was going to be a fight, "Okay then…"

BigStall began the countdown, "3! 2! 1!"

Everyone began firing into the water where they thought Seraphim would be.

---

BlessThyHearts was feeling a bit lighthearted today, so he ended up taking Seraphim's guild ship, Creator, out on a small trip.

It wasn't such a big deal, considering that he could always teleport away if he was attacked, and guild ships were cheap to repair if Creator was damaged.

Then, he saw another ship, and he figured that since he was in a good mood today, he would greet the other guild.

Changing courses to the other ship, he hums a merry tune as he thinks of what he'll eat for dinner tonight.

Then, a game master appeared on his ship. Not just any game master, BigStall, the one in Ainz Ooal Gown.

"Huh," BigStall seemed confused, "You're the only one here? I'm kind of sorry for what's about to happen to you, then."

BlessThyHearts asked BigStall, "What are you talking about-"

Creator was instantly bombarded by 20 spells all at once.

---

"Wait, that was only their guild leader?" Momonga asked as they watched Seraphim's guild ship sink beneath the waves.

BigStall nodded, "Yeah, I think he was just admiring the view."

Everyone went silent as they essentially did the equivalent of jumping an innocent old man.

Then, Ulbert asked, "So, who won?"

"You did," BigStall answered.

"Hell yeah."

There wasn't much roleplaying done after that.

---

Punitto told BigStall in one particular argument about whether or not Asgard was better than Midgard in terms of pure aesthetics, "Fine, since we're both at an impasse, let's do… Aha! I know, let's do one of those online random Pokemon duels. If I win, I'm right. If I lose, you're right."

BigStall chuckled, "You're challenging me in my own domain? This is out of character for the strategist you usually are."

"I think you're a fraud. I haven't heard you talk about Pokemon in weeks," Punitto Moe challenged.

"Make it worth my time and add something extra. How about if you lose, you change, oh, I don't know… Aureole into a human?" BigStall said, "And if I lose… Ah, I don't know, I'll give you guys a world item and risk my job?"

"Wait, can you do that?"

"I don't know, and I don't intend on finding out."

"Oh, you're on!"

---

Punitto Moe ended up getting sweeped by BigStall's lead pokemon.

"Ugh, I don't like random battles, it keeps giving me offense teams instead of stall teams," BigStall complained after the clean sweep.

"BigStall, you just defeated me with a teacup. "

"Yeah, shame you didn't have a sucker punch on your team."

And so, the one and only human in Nazarick was created. Or, rather, modified.

Is there even a term for a homunculus becoming human? Because neither of them were going to bother with searching that term up.

---

"Say, Temperance," Ancient One decided to open up a conversation in a way that immediately made it clear that the following conversation is going to be brain rotting, "So, you know how you're like a wind elemental, right?"

"...Yeah?"

"And you don't have a real physical body other than the wind, right?"

"...Yeah?"

"What if I ate you."

"Ancient, you're not allowed in the kitchen," Temperance flatly replied.

Ancient tilted his head, as if he was confused, "Huh? I don't know how to cook anything, though. All I do is eat paste."

Temperance concernedly asked, "Wait, you can't even afford the crappy frozen stuff that you put in the microwave every once in a while?"

Ancient shook his head, "Not if I want to keep buying Yggdrasil expansions, no."

"I'm taking you to Orphea straight away."

---

"Okay, so Orphea, how many members of the guild did you let nepotism their way into your company?" Ulbert had curiously asked one late night evening.

Orphea got out her fingers and started counting, "Uh, let me think, Pero, Buku, Coup, Flatfoot, Nearata, Nubo, Panno, Dajio, Suratan, Shizyuu, Bakuita, and now Ancient. And I think that's it?"

"You just named, like, a quarter of the guild," Ulbert said, unimpressed.

"Yeah, you want in?" Orphea offered.

Ulbert, if you distilled his character into one single character trait, it would likely come out as disdain or hate of some kind against mega corporations. Willingly being a part of one goes against his character, and so with a simple declaration, he states, "I'd rather die."

Orphea shrugged her shoulders, "You're welcome."

---

In the 7th expansion of the game, Dawn of Ancients, the developers reached the peak of their "Throwing shit at a wall" capabilities, and introduced something that players had been asking for ages. A way to brag about NPCs.

And the way that the benevolent developers of Yggdrasil decided to allow the players to brag was through a simple method.

A giant tournament.

Just like the World Champion Tournament, but with NPCs instead of players.

Surely, nothing could go wrong.

Since the Nazarick raid happened almost 4 months ago, Ainz Ooal Gown could bring out practically any NPC without any drawbacks, as everyone already recorded every single NPC in Ainz Ooal Gown's arsenal.

There were only a few restrictions on the NPCs that could be brought to the tournament. Mainly, they cannot hold the guild weapon, or be a "special" NPC, namely those acquired from special events, clearing a guild base in a certain way, or have special effects because of the way they're created.

That last one basically meant no golems could join because the quality of ore used in their creation was flagged as "special," which also meant Rubedo couldn't participate.

Now, Ainz Ooal Gown, not to brag, had a pretty good list of NPCs at their disposal. One only had to ask any of the 5000 players who raided their base to know of their reputation.

However, the question was; who among them was the best for a tournament?

"It's Shalltear, no question!" Peroroncino shouted at Wasewaru who dared to suggest that maybe bringing the NPC with the most information known about them was not the greatest idea, "She's our best geared NPC! Not to mention I min-maxed her build!"

Wasewaru scratched his head, "I mean, that's great and all, but she's a bit too hard-countered by any angel. I think Cocytus strikes a pretty good balance on that front as a solid pick."

Takemikazuchi offered his own opinion, "I agree. Besides, this is basically the world champion tournament, but for NPCs. A warrior is basically a requirement."

"You know," Vagisilious spoke up from the opposite side of the room, "Leviathan does have a pretty beefy attribute list, as well as being pretty flexible in what he can fight."

"Angels," Bakuita boredly pointed out, not very interested in the fight but also very willing to spread chaos.

Vagisilious took the bait as she sent a frown emoji at Bakuita, "Leviathan would solo."

"With that giant hitbox, please," Peroroncino flew straight back into the argument, "All Leviathan would be good at is dying first!"

"Can I make an argument for Albedo?" Tabula asked out of nowhere.

"NO!" Everyone else shouted out.

---

Eventually, it all came down to a simple game of rock paper scissors between Peroroncino, Vagisilious, and Takemikazuchi.

She won, obviously. She wouldn't have been reincarnated if she wasn't someone's favorite upstairs.

And so the day came, with Leviathan being chosen as Ainz Ooal Gown's representative.

The naysayers of her guild were already trying to convince everyone that their chances were basically zero.

"Hm, I see a lot of angels here, Vaggy," Peroroncino helpfully pointed out.

"I know you know fully well that Shalltear wouldn't also fare well against this either," Vagisilious bitterly said.

Wasewaru hummed, "Cocytus?"

"Shut up," Vagisilious said.

Takemikazuchi continued to talk about it, "Cocytus has no weakness against holy attacks, he would be fine in this scenario."

"Shut up," Vagisilious repeated.

Then, the tournament began, all thousand-some NPCs being dropped onto the battlefield randomly.

Leviathan had gotten fairly lucky and spawned closer to the walls of the arena. Proving yet again that life just had favorites.

Leviathan couldn't be in his humanoid form because it took 40% of his stats to do so, so he had to stay in his massive dragon form which had a huge hitbox. Which, naturally, attracted a bunch of NPCs to go fight him.

The entire guild winced as Leviathan, with no scaling or anything, was totally mobbed by 6 other NPCs and killed in seconds.

"Oh no," Bakuita amusedly said, "How unexpected."

"I'm going to kill you, Bakuita."

---

Orphea, while waiting for their roleplay group to finish their scene, asked Peroroncino, "Hey, Ryuji, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot are our avatars?"

Peroroncino immediately dropped what he was doing, looking through his inventory to see what cool stuff he could use for his next role, to look at Orphea, "Well, I'm a 10. You're a 10. Do you wanna confirm it?"

Orphea sent a confused emoji, "How do you plan to do that? We'll get hit by the anti horny system."

Peroroncino sent a smirk emoji, "Well, you know what happens if you take off all your gear, right?"

Orphea tilted her head, "We get put in a plain t-shirt and pants?"

Peroroncino nodded, "Exactly, but do you remember 2 years ago during the April Fools beach episode update?"

Orphea did remember it. They allowed everyone to wear a swimsuit on that day, something that wasn't allowed.

It also made the company eat a huge fine from the government for "Attempting to subvert" their dumb laws to "protect children," and "promote real connections."

So, the beach episode never made a comeback despite it being very popular back in the day. Though, that was solely because it was a very good day to be a degenerate back then.

"Didn't they delete the swimwear though?" Orphea pointed out, "Like, entirely from the code?"

Peroroncino cackled, "That's what they say, but see what I got from BigStall!"

Peroroncino pulled out 2 genuine pieces of swim wear from back then, causing Orphea to gasp.

"Seriously?" Orphea said, completely surprised, "That's another fine waiting to happen!"

Peroroncino sent Orphea the devil emoji, "What they don't know doesn't hurt us! C'mon, are we really going to waste BigStall's generosity like this? We live together anyways…"

Orphea hummed, "Well… That is a fair point…"

Peroroncino brought up another point, thinking he was smart, "Besides, this is useful for your cosplay, right? Like a reference photo?"

Orphea crossed her arms, "I don't think wearing a swimsuit with a wig hardly counts as cosplaying…"

"It would be hot, though."

"It would."

Which was how they stayed in Peroroncino's room on the 9th floor for the next 20 minutes before they left to try it in the real world, inadvertently leaving the roleplay group with nobody to play their roles.

---

"They literally added a murder mystery game mode in Yggdrasil, they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?" Peroroncino said as he was watching a video of 100 players playing the new game mode.

"Isn't that Among Us, but in Yggdrasil?" Vagisilious asked.

"What's an Among Us?" Orphea asked.

"Oh, it's basically the game that this game mode was based off of," Vagisilious answered, "It was made in the early 2000s, I think."

"Dang, they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel then," Said Amanomahitotsu.

"Hm, you guys wanna play a round of that, then?" Asked Daijobubua, "I think a round with all 41 of us could be fun."

"I don't mind, we have nothing better to do," Momonga said, "But what map are we going to choose?"

"I designed the spaceship, choose that one," BigStall suggested.

And so, that was how Ainz Ooal Gown played their very first round of Murder Mystery.

Or, well, Among Us.

---

34 innocents, and 7 murderers, all loose on a spaceship!

The spaceship was absolutely massive, since it was designed to separate 200 players, the limit of how big a Yggdrasil group could be. And the game itself made the radius of where you could hear other players much smaller to make players more paranoid.

"So, Vaggy, how did you know what game this was from?" Ulbert asked as they worked on the same task, wires.

"Because knowing things is literally my job," Vagisilious answered.

"Hm, like knowing what?"

Vagisilious shrugged, "If I told you, I would die."

Ulbert chuckled, "Well, you're already dead though."

"Huh?"

And then Ulbert summoned a knife and stabbed her, immediately running inside of the vent.

Vagisilious's mouth stayed open in shock.

"DUDE!" She suddenly screamed out.

---

"Hey, Mako," Peroroncino said to Orphea while they were alone, "Watch this."

Orphea looked at Peroroncino curiously as he made his way to a vent.

And opened it.

"Eh? Eh? What do you think?" Peroroncino proudly said.

Orphea turned around and left.

"Huh? Mako, where are you going?"

---

Orphea immediately ratted him out, "Pero opened the vent right in front of me thinking I'd be on his side."

"WHA- YOU TRAITOR!"

---

6 Murderers remain.

---

Mekongawa roared as loud as he could, which was pretty loud.

Otanabetabeki nodded as he tried to imitate a dying racoon, "Screee!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Scree scree scree, shut up."

And then Otanabetabeki murdered Mekongawa.

"Uh, Otana, I saw that," Tabula awkwardly said in front of the dead body.

Otanabetabeki shrugged, "I don't care, he deserves it."

Tabula disagreed, "No, that was pretty funny."

"I will kill you."

"Nuh uh, I'm pressing the report button."

---

24 innocents and 5 murderers remain.

---

The lights were flashing red. If nobody fixes that in 2 minutes, they would all die.

"So, is anyone going to get that?" Yamaiko asked her group of four.

BigStall shrugged, "We're nowhere close to the reactor."

Ankoro nodded, "Yeah, let's just do tasks."

"Ugh, this gives me anxiety…" Punitto complained before turning to BigStall, "By the way, is your murder cool down over?"

Wait what.

"In 6 seconds," BigStall answered.

"Wait, you guys are joking, right?" Yamaiko nervously asked as she was taking precautionary steps back.

"Uh, no they aren't! I'm getting out of here!" Ankoro said before trying to escape the room they were in.

The doors suddenly closed, trapping the 4 in the room together.

"Ankoro, I am sorry for putting us in this situation," Yamaiko sadly said, accepting her fate.

"Okay, BigStall you get Yamaiko, I'll get Ankoro. On the count of 3."

"This is somehow more insulting than actually dying," Ankoro said, arms crossed as she too accepted death.

---

"You know what? Let's just vote off Garnet. Gut feeling," Temperance said, getting an actual real life gasp from Garnet.

"Huh?! You can't do that!"

---

17 innocents and 4 murderers remain.

---

Momonga finished off Blue Planet and immediately turned around to make his escape.

Only to immediately run into Bellriver.

"I know what it looks like," Momonga strategically started, holding up his hands in defense.

"Uh huh."

"And it wasn't me," Momonga tried.

"Uh huh."

"Trust me," Momonga tried?

[A Meeting Has Been Called!]

Momonga sighed, "Well, darn."

---

13 innocents and 3 murderers remain.

---

"Ulbert, get away from me," Denshosho stressed as he was running away from Ulbert.

"Dude?! What's wrong?! I'm not a murderer!" Ulbert questioned, "I just need a buddy!"

"All of your buddies died!" Denshosho accused.

"What? No they didn't! Punitto is still alive!" Ulbert said.

"That makes me suspicious of him!"

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" BigStall made his entrance, walking towards them.

Denshosho breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh thank God someone-"

BigStall stabbed Denshosho.

"Well done, my stall disciple."

"Thank you, my master."

---

"Guys, we're dropping like flies here, we need to start voting off people every meeting." Punitto said.

"Who are we supposed to vote off, though?" Amanomahitosu asked.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him," BigStall suddenly declared.

"What?"

---

7 innocents and 3 murderers remain.

---

BigStall was telling a story to Genjiro and Flatfoot, "And the game files were like this big!"

Then, BigStall threw his arms out to emphasize the size of the files.

And accidentally killed Genjiro.

Flatfoot stared at BigStall, who had ignored what happened and kept going on with his story.

"You can't stall me like that, you know." Flatfoot said.

"I can."

[A Meeting Has Been Called!]

"It was worth a shot.

---

3 innocents and 2 murderers remain.

---

They circled around the emergency meeting button, as the initial kill timer and the timer to press the button were on the same 30 second timer.

"This is a stressful situation, man!" Pannokishi said as he circled around the table.

Wish III nodded, "It's Ulbert and Punitto, 100%."

"How did I live this long?" Asked Flatfoot, "I should've died minutes ago."

"We're going to stab you." Ulbert menacingly said, also circling the button and trying to get close to someone.

"Nothing but facts," Punitto agreed, "You're super dead."

The timer clocked down, and as it hit 0…

[A Meeting Has Been Called!]

"YES! LET'S GOOO!" Pannokishi celebrated, jumping up and down alongside his 2 comrades.

"God damn it." Punitto Sullenly said.

"We're blaming BigStall for this." Ulbert declared.

---

3 innocents and 1 murderer remains.

---

"So, Ulbert, how does it feel to lose?" Wish III mocked Ulbert, getting up into his face.

Ulbert kills Wish III, then he chuckles, "I dunno, I feel like a winner."

---

[Innocents Win!]

As everyone revived, Vagisilious immediately said, "We're not playing another round, being dead all game SUCKED."

Fellow first killed nodded with her opinion, much to the few who actually had fun's dismay.

And so, that was the very last game Ainz Ooal Gown ever played.

---

"Hey Touch, you and Saibandoke are on decent terms now, right?" Wish III asked during the wait before everyone logged on to participate in the new raid.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess so," Touch answered, "We still don't talk to each other often, but we're not instantly at each other's throats when we do."

"Hm, how's his channel doing?" Wish III asked, "Wasn't it dying the last time we saw him?"

"You could just check it yourself," Touch said, busy checking his inventory.

"Ah, I guess I could…"

So, Wish III checks it and- "HOLY HELL HOW DID HE GET A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS?!"

"Wait, seriously?" Touch asked before going to check himself, "What the heck?! How did he ride the coattails of Yggdrasil's success that well?!"

It was actually somewhat upsetting to see a channel built upon the pranking of others to be doing so well. Especially when a million subs basically allows you to replace your full time job with Youtube.

"Wait, does this mean Saibandoke is rich now?"

"It better be, because I've been sending money to him for years!"

---

"Hey, you guys wanna roleplay a bit or something?" Whitebrim asked, "I'm pretty bored."

"Huh? You? Roleplay?" Genjiro incredulously said, "I must be one of those prank shows! You're not a roleplayer!"

Ankoro nodded alongside Genjiro, "Yeah! Whitebrim, blink twice if you're in danger!"

"I'm not in danger, guys," Whitebrim deadpanned, "I'm just bored."

"You know, bored in my student's dictionary means making my life miserable," Shizyuutensuzaku said from the side.

"What kind of students do you have?" Luci*Fer curiously asked.

"People like you."

Luci*Fer unjustifiably proudly nodded, "Ah, angels."

"So, you guys wanna do something fun or not?" Whitebrim asked.

"Eh, what's the scenario?" Genjiro asked.

Ankoro thought for a second before suggesting, "Wanna do something American themed so we can make Vaggy regret being born across the Pacific?"

Genjiro liked the idea, "Oh, yeah, definitely."

Whitebrim agreed, "Absolutely yes."

"How American?" Shizyuutensuzaku asked.

Ankoro replied, "Super American it would make- Uh, who's their first president?"

"Wasn't it like, Wa… Wa-something?" Luci*Fer tried to answer, and failed.

Ankoro excitedly nodded at the one syllable they knew, "Yeah, it'll make him cry in tears!"

"Good tears?" Genjiro asked.

"Tears," Ankoro replied.

---

Vagisilious was incredibly nervous as Ankoro told her that she and an absolutely unholy gang of misfits had something to show her.

Because 'something to show her' could mean literally anything in this day and age, and she had no idea what that something could be in this scenario.

So, Vagisilious sat down where Ankoro told her to in the room that she had no idea even existed on the 9th floor. Seriously, when did they have time to build a whole theater down here? With a stage and everything?

Suddenly, lighting effects focused in on the 5 player group that took stage. So she took that as permission to start recording whatever the hell this was going to be.

Wait a second, were they wearing the "American Revolutionary" vanity set? The vanity set that was meant to imitate how the American militias looked in the revolutionary war that the devs added on a random July 4th so all of the Ameriboos could celebrate their desire to be American?

Well, to be fair, it was also just a good looking set. Old people knew how to dress back in the day.

Whitebrim began to loudly speak, "Vaggy, today, we'd like you to show you the work we've been putting in this past week to bring you…"

"The True Tale of How George Washington Kicked The British's Ass!"

What the fuck.

---

Whitebrim, who was playing the role of George Washington, was in the middle of mock fighting Luci*Fer, who was playing the role of King George III.

Which is an absolutely wild sentence that she'd never thought would grace her brain. Quite frankly, she's still in shock at this entire situation.

"Oh, you evil British king! I, George Washington, will defeat you and your evil army of redcoats!" Whitebrim dramatically said in a fashion that the actual George Washington would never be caught saying.

Luci*Fer loudly scoffed, "Hah! Your pathetic rebellion will be crushed by the might of my empire!"

Then they exchanged punches while Ankoro who was somehow playing both the role of the rebels and George Washington's love interest, which Vagisilious is pretty sure is just his wife, was acting 'shocked' by the side.

And they're only 10 minutes into the play, Vagisilious hasn't even seen where the hell Genjiro or Shizyuutensuzaku fits into the mix of this!

"...What's going on here?" Momonga quietly asked her as he spooked the hell out of her when he silently entered the room.

"It's a play, shut up and sit down." She quietly told him as she went back to watching whatever the hell this was.

---

Whitebrim lost that fight.

So now, he apparently had to get the help of Shizyuutensuzaku who was apparently roleplaying as all of France, and Shizyuutensuzaku gave Whitebrim and Ankoro a lot of muskets.

Which was now awkwardly sitting on the floor next to where Ankoro was standing.

"So, go, my brave rebels, and go depose King George the third!" Shizyuutensuzaku dramatically said before leaving with a teleportation spell.

Whitebrim bows towards the spot where apparently the entire country of France was standing and said, "Thank you, France, I will use your gifts to purge the redcoats from our land!"

Ankoro was also bowing, and then she said, "Sir George Washington, what will we do now?"

"Now, we must train!"

And then Whitebrim used every single Yggdrasil buff he had.

You know, this was always her favorite part of American history, which is when George Washington used a bunch of magic to prepare himself and the continental army to defeat the British.

---

Genjiro was the British army, apparently.

Like, not even an individual. Nope, just the entire army.

Whitebrim didn't even bother using the guns on the floor, he just used his 10th tier spell [Stream of Lava] on Genjiro who 'died' and called it a day.

"Curse you, George Washingtooooon!" Genjiro spat out as he 'died' and exited the stage.

And then Luci*Fer showed up and said, "Oh? You truly think now that you've gained the blessing of France, you can defeat me now when I utterly trounced you the last we met?"

Whitebrim chuckled as he assumed a fighting position, "My powers have increased tenfold since we last met, George III, I assure you that it won't be as easy this time."

Luci*Fer laughed, "Oh, George Washington, You fool! I haven't even shown you my secret family technique…"

Secret family technique?

"What?" Whitebrim's voice perfectly encapsulated her thoughts as well, because she was pretty confident in her prediction of Whitebrim just fighting Luci*Fer again and winning.

"Hah! You don't even know how doomed you are! So I'll let you have a taste." Luci*Fer sinisterly said as he reached from behind the curtain…

DEPICTION OF NATURE AND SOCIETY!?

Luci*Fer activated the world item and shouted out, "Domain Expansion: Sun That Never Sets!"

THAT NAME GOES SO UNREASONABLY HARD?!

Luci*Fer transforms the room into the center of an active volcano, but since we were in the same guild, none of them took any damage. But the set change was clearly the point so Vagisilious didn't feel the need to take points off of the performance for it.

Whitebrim and Ankoro both pretended like they were taking damage as Whitebrim exclaimed, "Impossible! I never would have imagined the royal family to have a technique so powerful as this!"

Luci*Fer sinisterly laughed, "Of course! Every single fool who entered my domain has died! You will be no different."

Whitebrim then steeled himself, "No! I will bring freedom to the United States!"

AND THEN HE BRINGS OUT GINNUNGAGAP FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!?

"Behold, my ultimate technique…" Whitebrim slowly charged himself up, and she could see Ankoro using some illusion items in the background to make Whitebrim look more intimidating.

"Wait- No, this power- Could it be?!" Luci*Fer gasped in shock.

Whitebrim lifted Ginnungagap up into the air, "BEHOLD, THE DREAM OF ALL AMERICANS!" Then, he slammed Ginnungagap into the ground, instantly shattering the surrounding volcano and sent them back to the theater, "THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION!"

THAT ATTACK NAME ALSO GOES SO HARD?!

Luci*Fer apparently was knocked onto his back by the force of the attack, and he looked super defeated.

"I have done it, I have freed America!" Whitebrim said triumphantly.

"Oh my gosh, George Washington, you are so cool!" Ankoro fangirled over him.

"Okay, we're done," Luci*Fer said as he immediately got up as if nothing happened, "The play's over."

Vagisilious had to actually send her head back as she got hit with the whiplash of the play suddenly being over.

And then, her very first words were, "That was so peak."

And then she ended the recording.

---

"Okay, seriously though, what the fuck was that?" Vagisilious asked after they had finished putting the props away and put on their usual gear.

"The product of my boredom," Whitebrim easily answered, "I wanted to try roleplaying, we 5 clowns were in the same room together, and this was the result."

Ankoro very excitedly nodded, "Yep! It was my suggestion to do something American! Since, you know, I can tell you sort of miss home a bit."

"That's very touching, Ankoro," Vagisilious said, and then she had a bit of a crack in her voice as she said, "This was the most peak thing I've ever watched."

Momonga chuckled, "Yeah, this was pretty good, I really enjoyed watching that."

Shizyuutensuzaku laughed, "Yeah, thanks!"

"Did you like the part where I showed up on stage for like 5 seconds and then died?" Genjiro asked, "Cause that's my favorite part."

"I was watching the greatest production in cinema history," Vagisilious complemented, "You've all earnt your green card to America."

The group celebrated upon hearing of her high praise.

Then she said, "I'm posting my recording of this to the Yggdrasil forums so everyone can watch this play of the year."

"WAIT DON'T DO THAT!"

"NO YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE US DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT!"

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

---

Yggdrasil Forums:

Topic: Ainz Ooal Gown Creates Peak Cinema

Posted on August 11, 2132 by Vagisilious.

Vagisilious (Original Poster) (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

I just wanted to share this amazing play that my fellow members in Ainz Ooal Gown made for me.

Because I know without a doubt that this is the greatest thing produced this year.

[Link]

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Orphea Scarlet (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

HOW DID I MISS THIS?! THIS IS HILARIOUS.

-Peroroncino (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

I think not seeing that in person will be my greatest regret in life.

Principality (Midgard World Champion) (Guild Leader: Triumvirate)

Peak Cinema.

-BlessThyHearts (Guild Leader: Seraphim)

Peak Cinema.

-=Unionite (Guild Leader: Foreigner United Front)

Peak Cinema.

-=-Caine (Guild Leader: Digital Circus)

Peak Cinema.

-=-=TheHistorian (Guild Leader: The Lore Keepers)

Peak Cinema.

-=-=-Momonga (Guild Leader: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Peak Cinema.

-=-=-=Saibandoke (Guild Leader: Clown House)

Peak Cinema.

-=-=-=-SteamBird (Guild Leader: The Yggdrasil Times)

Peak Cinema.

CPTBalloons (Guild: Clown House)

Welp, pack it up, boys. We'll never achieve the amount of greatness that this play has produced.

Jax (Guild: The Digital Circus)

Please God let this appear in the Yggdrasil Times 'Forum Posts of The Year.' It would be so funny.

-Jahnahara (Guild: The Yggdrasil Times)

If this doesn't appear as the #1 post of the year, I'm quitting this guild because it would prove that nobody in this guild has journalistic integrity.

-=SteamBird (Guild Leader: The Yggdrasil Times)

If this isn't the #1 post of the year, aliens would have invaded the Earth because there's no other reason why this wouldn't be it.

-=-Jax (Guild: Digital Circus)

Maybe God really does exist.

Masta_Ryōri (Guild Leader: Food Lovers United)

Whitebrim, Ankoro Mocchi Mochi, Luci*Fer, Genjiro, Shizyuutensuzaku.

You all belong in the kitchen.

BECAUSE YOU CAN FUCKING COOK!

BigStall (Developer) (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Oh would you look at the time, it's Sunday.

-Shoshinsha (Guild: Seraphim)

Nah, it's Dinner.

Whitebrim (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

How tf did this blow up so massively I'm dying of embarrassment right now.

-Sukuna (Clanless)

Stand proud, Whitebrim.

You can cook.

-=Degurechaff (Guild: NeuBerlun)

This is work that's worthy of standing ovation. You have nothing to be ashamed of, my workers could only wish to do half of the outstanding work you've created here.

Beats Goku (Vanaheim World Champion) (Guild Leader: Anime Fans 100)

This play beats Goku.

Unionite (Guild Leader: Foreigner United Front)

Who decided that this was going to be a play about the American revolution lmao.

-Ankoro Mocchi Mochi (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

I did, because Vagisilious is an American and we wanted her to be reminded of home.

-=Unionite (Guild Leader: Foreigner United Front)

As an American, I shed real tears from seeing this, you've done our country a great service.

Miya Sango (Guild: Teyvat)

Somehow, I feel like this is just them subtly flexing the fact that they have 2 world items they can use for jokes like this.

Well, not a joke, because this is peak cinema and restored my energy to 100.

-Far Out (Clan: Farcry)

Yeah, but it's not really subtle considering that they've created peak fiction with it.

-=Six Pistols (Guild: Passione)

I didn't even know Ainz Ooal Gown had so many world items until I learned that from reading from people here lol.

Next Line Is (Clan: JoJos)

Y'all were telling me how good this play was and I was STILL caught off guard by how peak this was.

I will never doubt you guys again.

Biri (Guild: The Travelling Bards)

I'm crying, this was so good wtf.

Fellas (Guild: Foreigner United Front)

Everybody exposing their deep rooted desire to be American in here, huh.

No judgment though, I also wanna get out of my country, Europe turned to hell, man.

-Kikotenshin Nekonyan (Clan: Slane)

Can you blame us? Basically every country except America has taken L after L this past century.

-=Yabb (Clan: Mezuyo)

America has plot armor, basically the entire world was making fun of it for basically half of the 21st century and then everyone else except America goes to shit.

-=-Unionite (Guild Leader: Foreigner United Front)

The powers of a well regulated militia.

USA! USA! USA!

-=-=Starlight (Clan: Ordinary Life)

[Deleted]

-=-=-Automod (Automod)

Slurs and hate speech are not allowed in the Yggdrasil forum. Please check the forum guidelines before posting again.

Mustapha Mond (Guild: Seraphim)

It must be nice having your head so empty.

-Shizyuutensuzaku (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

You know, you talk like one of my students. Don't you have homework to be getting to? Like, say… That test review for calculus? Sounds familiar?

-=Shizyuutensuzaku (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Oh shit he didn't reply was I right lmao.

-=-TheHistorian (Guild Leader: The Lore Keepers)

That's going in a history book lmao.

Kokonuts (Clan Leader: New Midnight)

That's it, we're not getting a new expansion, because all of Yggdrasil was leading up to this.

This. This is what humanity was trying to find all these years.

Perfection.

Anyways, I expect those guys to be in America soon lol. Those guys love it whenever someone sucks their dick.

-ONLY A NATION LOUDER! (Guild: Second Continental Army)

Yeah we do lmao. This is peak cinema, and if Vagisilious isn't going to sponsor them into our country, I'm going to.

Wasewaru Kakyoku (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

Why doesn't my stuff blow up like this :(

-Bakuita (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

It's because your stuff is crap.

-=Wasewaru Kakyoku (Guild: Ainz Ooal Gown)

BRO UNCALLED FOR.

---

The theater on the 9th floor saw a lot more use after Whitebrim's play made its debut on the internet as the funniest forum post of the year.

Well, mostly it served as a place where guild members could do the weirdest shit they could think of and pretend that they were just pretending to be cringe.

Which is exactly how Vagisilious got into this situation on stage.

"Discordant Decipher!" Vagisilious shouted out, pointing directly at Ulbert.

Ulbert made a ridiculously edgy pose before similarly shouting out, "Supreme Art: God's Punishment!"

Somehow, they had gotten into an argument about who could come up with cooler spell names, so now they were shouting out increasingly edgier names in order to try and get the upper hand.

"Lord's Canvas: Epoch Winter!" Vagisilious waved her hand nonsensically.

"Memory Of The Lord of Ash!" Ulbert retaliated.

"Oh Tears I shall Repay!"

"The Sky Rains With Blood!"

"Revolt From The Abyss!"

"Primordial Ashes From The Origin Of Flame!"

Suratan quietly whispered to Tigris, "What are they doing?"

Tigris just whispered back, "I have no idea. It's pretty funny though."

"Death's 10,000 Arms!" Ulbert said, making another ridiculous pose.

"Fabric Of The Universe: Guardian Of The Law!" Vagisilious said, using one of her racial illusion skills to make herself look prettier.

Suratan agreed with Tigris's assessment, "Yeah, this is pretty funny. Are you recording this?"

"I've been recording it."

---

Finally, the 8th expansion of Yggdrasil released in 2134, aptly titled "Nidhoggr's Fall" because this was finally the expansion where they'd get their level 100 gear at the end of the year, probably when Nidhoggr is the final boss of the game.

Which, you know, ordinarily would be great! But… Vagisilious pretty clearly put in her notes that Yggdrasil was supposed to die.

But Yggdrasil is currently experiencing record numbers right now.

She's pretty sure this wasn't how a game was supposed to die.

…Well, to be honest, she doesn't really care when Yggdrasil dies. It could be tomorrow, or 20 years from now. As long as she can enjoy the moment with her friends, it'll probably work out fine.

---

Vagisilious wasn't that big into the lore of Yggdrasil, but according to Denshosho, apparently every single raid that they've been doing was tying up major loose ends from previous expansions, so Denshosho and his fellow lore communities were all busy collectively losing their juices every time a new update drops.

It must be nice to be that invested in a fictional story- Ah, wait, she's a bit hypocritical there, she was absolutely invested in fictional stories, just not this one.

Either way, the very final update announcement had come with some exciting news.

Apparently, Nidhogger was going to be a world enemy that was going to be fought in a special raid that would take every player online, put them in a massive super-group, and have them fight Nidhogger on the bottom of Yggdrasil.

And then they'll end up fighting the developer's self inserts as the final raid bosses, because fuck us, apparently, we don't get to have a satisfying conclusion to all of the banger raids, we only get self-inserts to fight.

Though, considering how the devs were treating us for the entire life-span of Yggdrasil…

Demolishing them will be pretty satisfying.

BigStall was apparently the lead developer in making the raid, and he's already told us all about the billions of traps he's put in there to stall player's progress, so that sounds like hell.

That being said, BigStall was also apparently a raid boss in that raid, so he's pretty excited at being able to punch himself in the face.

Anyhow, that's not relevant right now, because that raid won't drop in another 2 weeks.

Right now, they were waiting to be transported to the bottom of Yggdrasil to fight Nidhoggr.

"So, are we bringing the world items or not?" Vagisilious asked, "Because if we don't, we might end up missing out on any rewards that goes to the #1 DPS spot."

"You know that #1 DPS spot basically instantly goes to Triumvirate, right? We literally can't do anything against the DPS of 3 separate world champions as 41 members," Punitto pointed out.

Ulbert put a point in favor of bringing the world items, "Sure, but we might be able to make it to top 10 if we can spam our 10th tier spells and Touch has Billion Blades."

"What if there's a PvP section of the fight?" Momonga questioned.

"If you can't win a 1v1 or a guild fight with a world item in your hands, you don't deserve them," Peroroncino plainly stated.

"Eh? But isn't ambushing people our game plan half the time?" Herohero asked, "We can probably just stall things out until we get into an advantageous position."

"Do you guys want leaks?" BigStall asked, getting a very enthusiastic yes to that question, so he revealed, "There's no PvP section. You'll be split up for some of the phases of the fight though, so there's that to consider."

"Do you know how long the fight is going to be?" Bellriver asked, "Cause I have a hard day of work tomorrow."

"Eh, I think it's like 20 minutes or so from what I've heard they've predicted." BigStall said, getting some groans in return, "But this is basically a scripted boss, as long as you're not stupid, you're not dying."

"Any special rewards for big DPS numbers?" Tabula asked.

BigStall shook his head, "No, if you guys wanted to know if a world item drops from Nidhoggr, it's a lore yes and gameplay no."

"Oh? Is that the setup for Yggdrasil 2?" Denshosho curiously asked.

BigStall nodded, "Yep. all of the worlds he's eaten turns into seeds and a new world tree is born. I'll probably be working on starting Yggdrasil 2 in a few months, once the design team gets a solid theme in their heads."

A wave of shock goes through us as we hear those words.

"Holy shit, that's massive." Punitto Moe breathed out, "Are you sure that's not under NDA?"

"Are you guys going to snitch?"

"Aren't the voice logs a thing?"

"I delete them."

"Oh."

BigStall nods, "Basically, don't snitch on me, guys."

[NIDHOGGR WILL DESCEND IN 10 MINUTES. BE READY, HEROES!]

Ulbert chuckled, "Man, they call us heroes?"

"Well, Nidhoggr is literally the main villain of Yggdrasil." Pannokishi said, "Why would we be the bad guys here?"

"Cause we wanna eat Nidhoggr or something," Vagisilious said while shrugging, "Anyways, world items or nah?"

BigStall shrugged, "There'll be a DPS leaderboard that's solely for bragging purposes to see who did the most damage to Nidhoggr."

"World items it is."

---

"Oh man, Nidhoggr looks ugly." Vagisilious remarked when they were teleported on a platform far away from where the massive black dragon actually was.

The whole arena was basically the bottom of a tree surrounded by 9 different platforms where the players were. Which if she were to guess, they symbolize the 9 worlds of Yggdrasil.

"So basically, he'll turn every minute, and we'll get a chance to damage him," BigStall explained to the group, which was being unsubtly being eavesdropped on by basically everyone, "In the meantime, we fight his minions and collect some light orbs, which will do damage to him when we collect enough."

"I thought you didn't design Nidhoggr, though?" Nishikienrai asked.

"Yeah, but who do you think made every arena that this fight goes through?" BigStall rhetorically asked.

"God dang, dude. You work fast," Takemikazuchi said.

"I wouldn't have a job if I wasn't."

Vagisilious hummed, "You know, it's weird you're named after stalling, but you're quick at your job."

BigStall shrugged, "It is what it is. The fight is about to begin by the way."

Suddenly, void-type creatures of many different varieties began to spawn on our platform, and we started to fight them.

As they were defeated, they dropped little orbs that could be used to send attacks towards Nidhoggr, who was currently personally fighting Midgard, because Midgard is the main character, she supposed.

Vagisilious sure Principality and the rest of Triumvirate are having a grand ol' time there.

The mobs weren't that hard to defeat, so most of the time was spent talking about other stuff.

"So, how hard was it designing Nidhoggr?" Somebody from another clan asked BigStall, because the entire realm of Helheim was currently fighting on the same platform.

"I didn't design him, but I designed the arenas, and that was pretty easy," BigStall said, "Oh, by the way, Nidhogger's about to turn over here."

On que, all of Nidhoggr's minions all dissipated and flew towards Nidhoggr as he regained some health.

Some voice lines activated or something, and then everyone started to wail on Nidhoggr.

But since she was just a healer, she was just acting like a salesperson helping all of the mages restore their mana, because that was literally her only job while having the Mianguan on.

Despite, you know, her Merciful Sovereign of Spirits class being one of the best healing classes in the game.

"Hey, Vaggy," Punitto called out to her, "You wanna hear something sappy?"

Oh, something sappy from Punitto? She'll absolutely be there to hear it! "Yeah, sure, is it a love confession to me?"

Punitto shook his head, "Nah, I just wanted to tell you that it's crazy that we met literally on the first day of Yggdrasil, and now we're both here fighting Nidhoggr together."

Vagisilious frowned at the tone he used, "...If you said it a little nicer, it would've been more sweet."

"Eh, maybe I should've," Punitto amended, watching Nidhoggr move to Jotunheim, "I'm not that sweet, though."

Vagisilious hummed, "Well, at least it's you."

Then, a little lightbulb lit up in her head, "Oh yeah! Wasn't it you who first joined the clan, and I asked you to introduce me? Yeah, I should thank you a thousand times for that!"

Punitto laughed as he remembered the memory, "Oh man! That was years ago! We're growing too old!"

"Oh? What are you guys talking about?" Momonga said as he walked up to the duo, "Are you guys reminiscing?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, we were just talking about how it was Punitto who introduced me to you guys."

Momonga thought about it for a second and then chuckled, "Oh, yeah! I remember that day! Wasn't Pero asking you if Vaggy sounded cute or not before she came?"

Punitto laughed, "Man! I forgot about that! How do you remember things like that?"

Momonga embarrassingly chuckled as he said, "Oh, well… You guys are important to me, of course I would remember the times we spent together…"

Vagislious cooed at his kind words and turned towards Punitto, "Aww! See, Punitto, that's how you talk nicely to a girl!"

Punitto laughed, "Right! Right! Thanks, Momonga, be sure you tell that to the rest of the guild too."

Momonga laughed, "Maybe some other time! Anyways, shouldn't Nidhoggr be going into the next phase-"

Then, the ground broke, and they all fell down into the abyss below regardless of whether or not they could passively fly or not.

---

It's a maze.

WHY DID THEY MAKE A SINGLE-PLAYER MAZE FOR THE FINAL WORLD ENEMY?!

Well, sucks to suck for everyone else, because she has a divination build, so she's basically built to complete mazes like this.

Vagisilious called out the spell, "[Ariadne's Thread]" a 9th tier spell that was specially designed to complete mazes, and after she got the string in her hand, she just followed that.

Man, it's so nice having classes specifically designed to complete the tasks you're given.

As she was following the maze, though, she ran into a person she didn't expect to see.

That is to say, she met Principality again.

"Huh? Wait, you're… Vagisilious?" Principality asked, "Huh, crazy to meet you here."

"Yeah, weren't you in Midgard?" She asked, "How are you here?"

Principality shrugged, "I dunno, I was just running around the maze. There might be other people here, have you checked?"

She shook her head, "Nope, I was just following my thread."

"Mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, why not?"

As they started to travel together, they encountered more spawns of Nidhoggr along the way. But they were comically easy to beat because, well, it's Principality.

Principality, finishing off a group of enemies, decided to ask, "By the way, the last time I met you like, 2 years ago at this point, you said something about staying until the forced shutdown of Yggdrasil?"

Vagisilious shrugged, "I'm not adding context. Just keep it in mind."

Principality disappointedly hummed, "Well, alright then. I saw that Orphea ended up dating that one guy, Peroroncino, right?"

Vagisilious nodded, "Yeah, they did. Are you jealous?"

Principality shook his head, "Not really, I'm well over the betrayal at this point. Though, I don't think Empire or Cracka is over it."

Vagisilious snorted, "Seriously? They're still upset about it? That was like 4 years ago at this point."

Principality defended his friends, "No, I get it. We still haven't even gotten the same number of world items we once had, and we've been stuck at #2 ever since then."

"Have you considered raiding Seraphim?" She suggested, because she doesn't like Seraphim.

"Nah, Bless and I are bros, I wouldn't do that to him." Principality declined, getting some minor disappointment from her, though it was expected he would say that.

"Hmm," Vagisilious neutrally hummed, "Do you have any NPCs?"

Principality shook his head, "Nah, I'm not that interested. I just made one level 100 one to placate the members who told me that the leader should have an NPC, and he's stuck around the treasury."

Vagisilious actually laughed, "You're exactly like Momonga! Let me guess, you had a dumb name that had to be changed because someone told you how bad of a name it was?"

"Him too?"

"Hahahaha!"

After another minute of walking and talking, they finally made it to a portal that looked like the exit.

"Hey, if we never meet again," Vagisilious said before entering, "Don't forget to stay until the forced shutdown."

"You're reminding me again?" Principality asked.

"Well, it's a life-changing event you would be missing out on if you forgot," Vagisilious answered, "It's good to be reminded a few times."

And so, she entered the portal, which teleported her to a different looking platform that was covered in darkness.

And apparently, BigStall and Nubo were already here, so she went up to group up with them, "Oh hey guys! How did you get here before me?"

"I built the maze."

"I used [Ariadne's Thread] and booked it past the enemies."

"Oh, that makes sense," Vagisilious blankly said, before asking, "How many people were in each maze? Because I was with Principality and we just casually walked together to the exit."

"Oh, there's like 200, but there are a ton of different exits." BigStall answered, "But dang, Principality? Is he still salty about the whole Orphea situation?"

Vagisilious shook her head, "No, I actually asked him about that and he said he's over it. But apparently Empire and Cracka aren't."

Nubo giggled, "Hehe, that's good, that's good." Then he turned to BigStall, "So when are we fighting?"

"When 50% of the people in the mazes get out. Until then, we wait. After 50%, mobs will spawn again, and they'll be stronger than the ones from last time and Nidhoggr will continue his circle loop," BigStall said.

"You know that people will edit Nidhoggr to spin in a circle really fast, yeah?"

"Too slow, I took footage from the beta build of this fight and uploaded it to the forums 5 minutes ago."

Vagisilious suspiciously looked at BigStall, "Are you sure you're really BigStall?"

BigStall used an emote to cause sparkles to fly out of himself, "The essence of stall isn't necessarily doing nothing, but doing the precise amount of work with perfect timing, and biding your time until such an opportunity appears."

"Eh, that sounds smart enough, I can buy it."

---

After a few minutes, all 41 of us got out of the maze, which just so conveniently aligned with when Nidhoggr started to fight again, but then we had to ask…

"What was that maze for, anyways?"

"Nidhoggr healed."

"I hate Nidhoggr."

"How else do you think we're supposed to make this a 20 minute fight? Making him actually fun to fight against?"

---

"500 Yen for a single instant super-tier spell…" Momonga quietly said while holding the small hourglass in his hands.

"What a steal! [Fallen Down]!" Momonga casted the super-tier spell on Nidhoggr as soon as it rotated to their field, among basically every single player who was willing to spend the cash to instantly use a super-tier spell.

Then, he used his personal world item and ate 2% of Nidhoggr's health in an instant.

And then he ran out of spare EXP and stopped using the world item, so he wasn't going to risk accidentally leveling down to 99.

"Nice job, Momonga!" Peroroncino complimented as he was firing his bow, "No doubt you've shot up the DPS leaderboards."

"Orphea would probably be upset that you're implying that someone is above her, Pero." Vagisilious mentioned.

"Well, I didn't mean it that way, obviously." Peroroncino answered as he kept firing.

As Nidhogger turned away from Helheim and towards Jotunheim once again, BigStall told everyone, "Alright, this is my favorite part, actually, after this phase is done."

Momonga tilted his head, "Really? How is it your favorite?"

"It was the easiest stage for me to make, duh."

"Really? How easy?" Orphea asked.

"Oh, so the ground just breaks."

And then the ground broke.

This time, they weren't falling into the void, but rather they were falling beneath Yggdrasil. There were no longer any platforms to separate players together, but instead it was just them constantly falling, and fighting against the flying Nidhoggr.

Well, the skybox was falling. Everyone was actually just flying, but it created a super cool effect so nobody was going to harp on BigStall because admittedly, this is really fucking cool.

There were no longer any restrictions on where players could go, it was just open space between them and Nidhoggr.

And basically every player in Yggdrasil jumped Nidhoggr the instant they realized they could.

Nidhoggr's health started to deplete a lot faster after that, as all of Yggdrasil wailed on him, all saying various things.

"This is peak Yggdrasil right here!" Vagisilious laughed as she dodged the various explosions in the air, "This is really just 'dodge the black areas' simulator, but the spectacle is so much fun!"

Momonga laughed as he threw spell after spell at Nidhoggr, not even caring about being hit by Nidhoggr's attacks, "Yeah! They should've done this type of spectacle gameplay sooner!"

"But then this wouldn't be so cool!"

"Oh, you're right! This is actually perfect!"

It's not an inaccurate statement to say that basically every player in Yggdrasil was having fun right now. Because the pure theatrics of being able to finally kill Nidhoggr this way was pure dopamine for the brain.

As Nidhoggr's HP raced towards 0, he let out one final cry as his wings went limp and the skybox shifted back to be closer to Yggdrasil.

And so, Nidhoggr, the final world enemy of Yggdrasil, died.

"Woo! Let's gooo!"

"That was so much fun!"

"Screenshot! We've gotta go for a screenshot!"

Quickly, all 41 members gathered up for a screenshot over Nidhoggr's dead body, which was currently growing green, probably from the seeds of a new world tree being sprouted.

"Alright, Vaggy, you use [Third Eye] this time, m'kay?" Nubo said, getting a nod from her.

"Alright everyone, look this way! And say… Uh… Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown when I say 3!"

"Really? Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown?" Herohero asked.

"It's cool, shut up."

"Fair."

"Okay, 3… Wait."

"Glory to Ainz Ooal Gow- YOU WERE COUNTING DOWN?!"

And so ended one of the greatest days of her life, with smiles on everyone's face.

Yes, it didn't really matter when Yggdrasil would end, because all she needed right now was the present, with all of her friends.

---

Fraction of Nidhoggr

Level 1

Racial Classes:

Draconic Whelp (1)

Karma: -500, Extremely Evil

Approximate Status:

HP 3

MP 1

Phy. Atk. 3

Phy. Def. 0

Agility 1

Mag. Atk. 0

Mag. Def. 0

Resistance. 0

Special Ability. 5

Total: 13.

Spells and Skills: [Expand]

Racial Specialties: [Expand]

Inventory: [Expand]

[Edit NPC]

Fraction of Nidhoggr's Bio

A tiny fraction of Nidhoggr's soul that Vagisilious took when the World Devourer was defeated by the players of Yggdrasil, placed inside the body of a small whelp.

Fraction of Nidhoggr is, for all intents and purposes, Nidhoggr, placed inside of a body that can no longer threaten anything anymore. It still has the memories of the original Nidhoggr.

It does not need to eat to survive, but still starves. It has no need for love, but it still craves companionship. Any pain he feels, it is magnified a thousand fold.

Additionally, spells placed upon it by Vagisilious ensure that Nidhoggr will never be able to enjoy anything again, as Nidhoggr will be unable to grow numb to any pains, and as such any pain inflicted upon it will feel new, and equally as painful as when the pain first began. Not only that, but he is cursed to never be able to die.

Currently, Nidhoggr is imprisoned beneath Tokino and Leviathan's mega mansion, where he is tortured daily by Leviathan for all eternity.

For that is the punishment the gods have given him.

---

Additional Leviathan Bio

About The Fraction of Nidhoggr:

'It is with great pride that Lady Vagisilious has allowed me to act as Nidhoggr's warden for the rest of eternity. Perhaps he has been crafted by the developers, but his actions still affected millions of souls inside of our 'game.' And as such, I shall ensure that for each and every single pain that Nidhoggr has inflicted on another, I shall return a thousand fold. This way, when I get my hands on the developers, I will be able to return the favor a million fold."

About Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami:

'Hmph, that fool who decided to attack Nazarick? Though its strength was great, it made Nazarick its grave the moment it decided to land on our holy soil. And I took great pride in tearing into its skin until I fell.'

About Tangaroa:

'Another creature of the void, this time created by Lady Orphea. Though Tangaroa is far less stronger than I am, I too am capable of sensing its great power being shackled by Yggdrasil. To be able to create a being so strong that Yggdrasil must put shackles on it… Lady Orphea must be quite powerful indeed."

About Momonga's English Lessons:

'Lady Vagisilious has taken it upon herself to attempt to teach Lord Momonga another language, her original language. So Tokino and I have been subtly listening to the lessons in order to try and learn alongside Lord Momonga, however, though Tokino doesn't quite realize it because of her nature as a 'pure' creation… Momonga isn't the fastest learner, isn't he?'

About Aureole:

'I hear that Lord Punitto Moe lost a bet against Lord BigStall and that she became human as a result. And within an instant, every one of my peer's opinions on humans has added an 'except Aureole' at the start or end of their opinions. While I respect my masters' creations, it is quite frightening the amount of loyalty they entrust them with.'

About 8th Floor Hierarchy:

'I hear from Lady Vagisilious that Lord Punitto Moe created the 8th Floor Hierarchy for the sole intention of war against any invaders who would manage to bypass the previous 7 floors, and as such are the most powerful creations in Nazarick. And that description does ignite a certain desire within me to see if they are truly as powerful as they say…'

About Rubedo:

'The undisputed strongest member in Nazarick, even over Shalltear… While perhaps, within the confines of Yggdrasil that may be true, I wonder if the caloric stone within her will be able to stand against the might of a true World Enemy? And if so… How far would it take her against the Developers?'

About The Scale of Azure Dragon:

'Lady Vagisilious showed the odd scale to me in an attempt to see if I could recognize it, but quite frankly, I know nothing about it other than it feels dangerous. Personally, I would dispose of it immediately but the Supreme Beings have elected to keep it. Somehow, I feel it is a foolish decision.'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Oh, they're together now? I wish them the best of luck, for I know the feeling of being next to a loved one very well.'

About the NPC Tournament

'Hmph, I did not wish to participate in the bloodshed of my fellow NPCs anyways.'

---

Additional Tokino Bio

About The Fraction of Nidhoggr:

'I don't usually like hearing screams… But I will make an exception for this one.'

About Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami:

'I know that Leviathan was the last to fall against him, and that according to Lady Vagisilious, he did more damage to it than 37 Supreme Beings. So I'm satisfied with the outcome of the fight.'

About Momonga's English Lessons:

'Ah, it's so enthralling to hear one of the Supreme Beings teach another! I've already adjusted my teaching style to be more closer to Lady Vagisilious's style! And I think I've mastered all of the English language that Lady Vagisilious has taught Lord Momonga!'

About Aureole:

'Humans are the filthiest creatures on the planet… But Aureole is super cute! She definitely gets a pass! Now, if only Victim had some sort of bigger body so I could watch him and Aureole kiss…'

About Rubedo:

'Some say that she's the strongest NPC in Nazarick, but I think that Leviathan would beat her any day of the week! And even if not… I would be there to help! And then we'd definitely win!'

About Tangaroa:

'It's just a big dumb stupid whale and I platonically love him. I always make sure to occasionally come down to the 6th floor to give him the best treats.'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'HUH?! THEY STARTED DATING?! HOW?! I WAS SO CONFIDENT IN LADY BUKUBUKUCHAGAMA TOO! AAAGGGHHH!... But at least they're cute together. I guess I still won in the end?'

About Herias & Fovalin:

'Ugh, I hate slow burns so much… When are they going to start kissing!? They obviously like each other!'

---

Additional Diviser Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'Oh? The World Devourer was defeated? I'll drink to that!'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Woah, Lord Peroroncino & Lady Orphea are dating now? That's definitely worthy of celebration! Wait, they already went through their celebration?'

---

Additional Herias 'Bernays' Sagashi Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'Oh, I can definitely do this one! "Ainz Ooal Gown bests the Eater of Worlds!" easy!'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Oh, well, I guess it makes sense that the Supreme Beings would be more romantically competent than I am…'

About Fovalin's Hug:

'I HUGGED HER! I DID IT! I DID IT! LADY VAGISILIOUS ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?! I GOT TO FIRST BASE!'

---

Additional Shatallia Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'Hmph, there was no doubt about the outcome of that fight.'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Oh, good for them.'

---

Additional Leshy Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'Ah! Our masters are so powerful to be able to defeat… Well, I don't know who they beat, but no doubt that our masters did it easily!'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Oh, when is the wedding?! Oh, I'll have to find the best product to give them, and I'll have to whip Heket into gear as well!'

---

Additional Heket Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'Hm, I wonder if the Supreme Beings was able to feast on any of the meat Nidhoggr dropped?'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'Ah, Leshy will be pestering me to save the best cuts of meat for their wedding, won't she?'

---

Additional Emily Bio

About Nidhoggr's Defeat:

'...Who?'

About Peroroncino & Orphea:

'I heard from the gossip that two of my masters are dating now? How cute! Wait, it's the bird and the human…? Ew, she must be into some freaky stuff.'

---

Vagisilious's Final Set.

[Trillion Teraphims - Level 100 Divine - A set of talismans, able to be replicated on will to be used. These have been created using materials from the hide of the great devourer themselves.]

[Folly of Grandeur and Delusion (Set) - Level 100 Divine - A magical outfit previously worn by a singer who once believed she was the pinnacle of her industry.]

---

Lauren Moore yawned as she signed off on papers she was barely skimming over, mostly because these were the papers that her superiors told her to sign without reading.

It's probably someone's death warrant, but as long as it wasn't someone she knew, who cared? Or it might be some insane PR stunt that they're trying to get passed without opposition, in that case, she'll just have to do some mental gymnastics in order to convince her peers that the failure of the stunt wasn't her fault.

Anyways, 2 months have passed since Nidhoggr's death in Yggdrasil, and everything seems to be going fine.

In fact, because of Amanomahitotsu finally being able to craft divine gear in this expansion, and their insane drop rates from the final raid of the expansion, they've managed to kit the full guild with full sets of divine armor, the best in the game.

Heck, they've even had time to put mythical gear on their NPCs with some divine gear here and there!

And according to BigStall, there'll be a big announcement in a few months about the future of Yggdrasil, and he's just waiting for the designers to start designing in a few weeks.

So, the future is looking pretty bright! Heck, with how most of the guild is working under Orphea, Lauren doesn't even mind if the whole isekai situation doesn't even come true. She'll be just as happy playing Yggdrasil 2.

Lauren's phone rings, knocking her out of her daydream.

She suppressed a groan as she answered the phone, "Moore Speaking."

"It is time," Kotako's raspy voice came from the other side, "Have you signed the necessary documents?"

"I have signed everything that's made it to my desk, yes," Lauren confirmed, not really sure what Kotako was talking about, "Is the information still on a need to know basis?"

She could feel Kotako contemplating it for a moment before he said, "No, I suppose you've earned your right. We will begin our takeover of Fujitsu in the coming days, when my contacts in Tokyo cause a distraction that will take the focus of the bankers away from the slums. Us."

Oh? Dang, are they really about to begin that whole takeover plot that's been brewing for the past few years now? Well, hopefully everything goes well for her, considering that she's been a key reason why a lot of this has been able to happen, and she doesn't really feel interested in finding out if the courts are rigged against her or not.

Or if she's even going to get a trial at all.

If all else fails, she knows where Orphea lives, so Lauren will just make her way over there and pray not to be assassinated while trekking her way there. Maybe Orphea will send over a limo or something, who knows.

Hm, she still refers to her as Orphea despite knowing her real name… Well, old habits, she supposed.

Anyways, that's all hypotheticals.

"I understand, sir. Is there anything I need to do specifically?" Lauren asked.

"If anyone from the conservative faction asks for anything, do not give them anything. They should stay in the dark for as long as possible. Otherwise, we will handle everything," Kotako answered.

Giving her affirmation, Kotako hung up the phone.

She sighed as she quietly muttered in English, "Jeeze, I can tell this is going to be a stressful week…"

---

Osoi Kabe, also known as BigStall in Yggdrasil, walked away from the nearby grocery store during his 10 minute lunch break, eating some of the flavored paste that he just bought.

Normally, he'd buy something a bit more edible considering that he has a pretty big paycheck, since he basically does 90% of all the work in creating dungeons and raids, but though he'd never tell a soul…

He actually liked the mango flavored paste. Mango is just such a good flavor, and basically nothing else has mango as one of their flavors except the paste version.

Quite frankly, if the mango flavored paste disappeared off of shelves, he'd actually cry real tears.

Right now, Orphea's dad was visiting his headquarters right now since Orphea's dad is a recent investor in the company that makes Yggdrasil, mostly because he knows how much Orphea plays Yggdrasil and decided it would be good to have a seat there so he can at least have some influence on what his daughter plays.

So, it was supposed to be a regular day, if not a bit different because of the big investor meeting going on right now.

Then, he saw someone running out of the front door of headquarters.

"Hey, where are you going?" He tried to ask the guy running, but he didn't say a word as he continued to run as if the world was going to end.

Huh, that was weir-

A large explosion suddenly came from his headquarters, and he whipped his head around just in time to see the flames come out of the 23rd floor.

Where the big important meeting was happening.

Looking back to where the guy ran towards, he was long gone and he didn't even remember what he looked like, so he couldn't even try a pursuit.

And that was a massive explosion, there's no chance that anyone survived that. And with the way the building is burning, plus from what he remembered from the building's poorly designed layout, everyone above the 23rd floor is likely dying, or is going to die.

So basically the entire Yggdrasil team, who is on the 27th floor. Not to mention that every important person in the company was on the 23rd floor.

The most simple essence of stall is to drag out matches in order to find openings that one can exploit with precision accuracy in order to get the most out of every opportunity.

And right now, he has a pretty good opening to just run away.

The fire department can handle this.

And so, he runs back towards his apartment, not even considering how he's going to tell everyone that there will likely never be another game from his company again.

Or the fact that someone's going to have to break the news of what happened to Orphea's dad, and that someone is probably going to have to be him.

---

AN:

This is 30K words, by the way. It's 133 pages on my google docs.

Don't worry, future me who might be rereading this to figure out wtf I was doing with my life at this moment, this was all written in the span of about… Oh, I dunno, the first 10k words in about the first week and a half. And then the other 20k words during the past week.

If I were a more normal author, I could've split this into like 3 chapters, but I think the old world is already overstaying its welcome as is, and there's still 1 last chapter of general angst to get through, and I despise writing angst.

So I suppose my question is, do you guys want the next chapter to end like a day before the servers shut down? Or would you rather the next chapter end when the timer hits 0.

Personally, I would prefer it to end a day before, so I can end the chapter on a high note like "Thanks Momonga, I'm really glad you were here to help me with my depression" or something, and it'd also add to the general loneliness to not see the other 39 guys as often as the past 7 chapters were and just have it be Vagisilious and Momonga.

But I can also see the appeal in finishing up the entire old world in just 1 chapter so chapter 8 can go immediately into the new world without spending like 2k words on before the shutdown happens.

So, just comment below about your thoughts on that.

Now, as for other things, 30K will likely be the record for this fic, because there's basically no way I'm going to write that much for the old world in a single chapter because then we'd be skipping a lot of the flavor in each individual scene. So consider this the peak of my writing quantity.

What else, it's 10 PM right now, uh…

Oh yeah, the Orphea X Peroroncino ship, I made it because it's funny. At least in my head it's funny to see the guy least likely to get a GF to get a GF first. Not counting Touch or Yamaiko, obviously.

It's also pretty weird in this chapter, because for Vagisilious it was like a 2 year slow burn, but for the readers it literally happened in-between the span of like 2 minutes or however fast you read this chapter. But hey, at least while Orphea's company is burning around her, all of her bff's are around to help.

Except maybe Vagisilious, who kind of indirectly caused the fire.

Oh, yeah, and I am delaying figuring out if Vagisilious is getting a ship or is going to stay single forever as long as I physically can.

She'll probably end up single, honestly.

X

Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami literally google translates to Evil Mechanical Serpent God.

Akumanokikai Kumajin is literally google translated Devil's Mechanical Bear God.

BigStall's love of mangoes comes from the fact that I google searched what was the slowest fruit to grow, and it said mangoes.

BigStall's real name is literally just "Slow" and "Wall"

Masta_Ryōri, Ryori is like chef in google translate, and masta is just slang master.

Shoshinsha is Beginner in google translated Japanese

And I think that's it?

X

Some may be wondering why America is mentioned 28 times in this chapter. Well, as some of you may know, my other ongoing mediocre fic is Manifest Destiny in which the MC of that fic is a die-hard American, and some of that energy just made its way here.

That being said though, I was bored so in MS paint in the span of about 20 minutes, I made this masterpiece depicting the events of the true tale of how George Washington kicked British ass.

[Unfortunately, FFN doesn't allow for images to be placed on it. You'll have to go to my Ao3, which is linked in my profile.]

I know, it's good. It's my creative display of how I think Vagisilious, Whitebrim, Genjiro, and Ankoro look while doing their whole play.

Whitebrim's image is Mammon from Helluva Boss, by the way. More specifically from season 2 episode 6, the white version of his costume though I think his green one is way better.

Drawing is hard, and NGL I kind of forgot how Vagisilious was canonically supposed to look in the fic so I had to search it up in my fic lol. Don't let me tell you how anyone here is supposed to look, though.

If you guys want, I can probably do more shitty MS paints for future chapters. It wasn't that hard and it was really funny to make.

Hm, I swear I had more stuff to talk about, but it's getting really late, and my brain is frying.

Well, answer the question from the first paragraph of this AN, and then my other question I guess would be to comment what groupings do you wanna see in the New World? Cause while I have my setting pretty set in my mind, the combinations of who goes to where isn't exactly 100% set.

Oh, and just feel free to mention any of the 41. Why? It's a surprise.

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT.

So you guys are awesome and have given me some 90ish comments to read including my own on both FFN and Ao3 combined, and you guys sometimes give out banger ideas.

So last chapter I asked what you guys wanted to see, and I delivered on I think most of them, maybe.

So I know one guy in the FFN review section wanted to know where tf Rubedo was, and I realized I forgot about Rubedo, so she gets mentioned here.

Also on FFN, one guy wanted to see a world enemy get beaten up, so that's why Jaakuna Kikai Hebigami suddenly appeared on Nazarick's doorstep.

On Ao3, someone gave me an absolutely busted world item that I managed to tell him was kind of like a developer ability, you can go to the comments of chapter 6 to read that, but I did quite like his 2 features of that world item, which was Inexorable Destiny and Song of Insanity, which is the 2 world items that AOG got this chapter.

Also on FFN again, someone wanted to see more Digital Circus cameos so I gave them a few mentions on the Yggdrasil Forums, plus since her name was CZ2128 Delta, I gave Garnet a scene and gave Shizu a reason why she knows the treasury password.

Speaking of which, I don't think that was Latin, cause it translated into something else when I tried Latin to English, but tbh I don't care, and who's going to check anyways?

And I think that was it? Actually I just checked with Ctrl F4 that Theadul or any of the 8GK showed up in this chapter, but since the 8GK were canonically going to show up in the New World, I can just stuff them into the next chapter so it balances it out, probably.

Well, I don't like writing angst, but considering what the next chapter has to do, I guess that's how it's gonna be. Though, since I don't like writing angst, I don't imagine it could be any longer than 10k words? Because we're still on time skip festival because there's like 4 years between now and the shut down, despite the company being literally blown up to smithereens and the Tokyo equivalent of a gang war about to occur.

Ah, right, and thanks for the 1,4K hits and 88 Kudos on Ao3! And also the like 80 favorites and 130 follows on FFN, but FFN stats has been broken for a while now.

Yeah, so I just wrote another 1.3K words in just author's notes alone, thank you for making it to the end, and feel free to comment below about the questions above, or just anything, really.