A/N: Portions of chapter twenty-one of Purpose of Heritage from Han's POV.

Han wasn't going to leave her. Leia could fire off orders all she wanted, but if she wanted to be left, she'd need a different pilot and ship because the Falcon wasn't taking off without Han behind the controls, and Han wasn't going to leave her.

Waiting in the cockpit with Shara Bey was torturous. Bey was on-edge, clearly at least somewhat aware of the argument he'd gotten into with Leia before they had even touched down on Cholganna, and though Han like to think he pulled off seeming confident even when he wasn't, he didn't know how convincing he was this time.

Something had been bothering him, too. The way Bey had been so easily cowed into taking off without Leia and whoever Mon might have with her as long as the chancellor and the pilots were on board seemed wrong on so many levels. He knew Leia and Shara were good friends, probably nearly as close as he and Leia were, and the fact that she'd just agreed to leave without so much as a question ate at him.

Shara sat on the edge of Chewie's seat and stared out the windscreen. Her back was straight, her body rigid. Han narrowed his eyes slightly at her, though she was staring straight ahead and didn't notice.

"You'd really just leave her?" he finally asked.

Shara blinked and glanced at Han. "I'd really just follow orders handed to me by my superior who I trust? Yes. I'm a lieutenant, Solo, not a general. I don't get to override Organa."

"She's not ranked at all."

"She isn't, but you know how the Alliance operates with her."

Han bristled and shook his head. "She's your kriffin' friend."

Bey stared at him coolly. "That's right. So is every other person out there with her. I don't get to make decisions about when to pull out of a mission based on how much I like the people who might get hurt. It's Alliance first, period. That's what we signed up for."

Quiet stretched between them for much longer than most could tolerate in Han's experience, but he had no inclination to break it. He stared outside, hoping to catch some glimpse of Leia or the kid, Antilles or Chewie. It wasn't just Leia being out there that had him irritated and ready to fight; sure, she was the one insisting she be left, but all of his closest friends were at risk.

Friends. It had been quite awhile since that word had been plural for Han, but he knew it wasn't just him and Chewie any more. He wasn't sure how he felt about the idea, but he had stopped fighting it at least.

"Look, I know how it is," Shara said. Han felt her eyes on him but didn't look at her. "There's a reason Kes and I don't go on actual missions together. Helping carve hallways out of a slab of ice together is fine, but if we were in the field together and I had to make a choice between him and the rest of my team, I…I couldn't do it."

Han frowned at the comparison, something about it not sitting right with him. "You got the wrong idea, Bey. S'not like that with me an' Leia," he said, ignoring the fact that, if pressed, he wouldn't be able to convincingly say he didn't want it to be. The princess had crept into his affections real sneakily, and with every run they made together, Han felt himself inching his way toward…well, toward feelings he hadn't had in a long time, that was for sure. But Leia didn't even know that; admitting it to Shara when he'd never broached the topic with anyone else didn't seem right. "We ain't together like you and Kes," he said, though the fact seemed obvious. A princess and a guy like me? Yeah, right.

Shara scoffed, amusement tinging her voice. "Well, I certainly hope not. If Leia had eloped and had a baby without ever telling me, I'd be pretty pissed."

Han rolled his eyes and finally looked at her. "You know what I mean. We ain't together."

She nodded, shifting in her seat and focusing her attention on Han. "You don't have to be with someone to have feelings for them, Solo."

Han rubbed at the back of his neck and stared at the controls in front of him, unwilling to even acknowledge what she'd said. His insides felt itchy, and he wasn't sure how to remedy that. Normally, that type of restless discomfort was fixed — at least temporarily — by hard work and distance, but he had promised Leia he would stay in his seat, ready to take off at a moment's notice.

"I'm just saying I get it," Shara continued. "It's damn near impossible to make logical decisions when someone you care for is on the line."

He couldn't argue with her there. He did care for Leia, just like he cared for Chewie and Luke and some of the others. Well…maybe not just like. Their relationships were…different. Chewie was his best friend no matter what, but Leia he was close to in a different sort of way. Luke was his friend, but not…not like Leia.

Leia, who he'd felt comfortable enough with that he'd told her about his ma; who was kind and funny and sharp as hell; who could have just about every part of him, if she wanted any of it.

The idea of losing her, of being the one to have to leave her…it was unfathomable. Han didn't want to entertain the thought for even a minute. I ain't leavin' without her.

Boots pounding on the ramp caused Han to sit on the edge of his seat. Antilles was supposed to give them the go-ahead to leave, but Chewie made it into the cockpit first.

[We are not all here.]

"Who's missin'?" Han asked without looking back.

Chewie had specific vocalizations that stood in for the names of close friends. Hearing his sounds for both [Luke] and [Leia] made Han's heart sink.

Well. We can't leave without the kid. Think even Her Worship would agree with that.

Not that he was taking off without Leia, either, but at least if she came on board alongside Luke, she couldn't be too mad about Han not leaving her for dead on a foreign planet.

Shara stood and left the cockpit, giving Han a knowing look that he wasn't sure he liked as Chewie sat in his usual spot.

"What happened?"

[He headed north when he heard something apparently, and she went after him. I'm not sure. I couldn't watch everyone at once when they split up like that.]

Han nodded.

[She had to kill three stormtroopers.]

"Just another day with the Rebels," Han muttered.

[No,] Chewie admonished. [You know how hard she takes that sort of thing. Don't be a bantha's ass when she gets back is all I'm saying.]

Han didn't have a chance to respond before more footsteps fell on the deck plates right outside the cockpit. He turned, hoping to see a flustered princess headed toward the seat directly behind him. Instead, Antilles and Mon Mothma approached the cockpit.

"Still waiting on Skywalker and Organa," Wedge said.

Han nodded as Wedge sat behind Chewie, leaving Leia's seat for Mon Mothma. The chancellor sat carefully, appearing dazed, and Han noticed she was bleeding in a couple of spots, though the wounds didn't look serious.

"How many minutes has it been since we boarded?" Wedge asked, sounding anxious.

"Haven't kept track," Han said flatly.

"But, Organa said—"

"Organa ain't flying the damn ship," he snapped. "We take off when I say we take off."

A gnawing, twisting sensation began in Han's stomach as the seconds passed. If they did have to take off without the entire group, if it came to that…Just Leia was bad enough, just leaving Leia would…well, he didn't know how exactly it would affect him, but he knew it wouldn't be good. But Leia and Luke? Both of them?

At least he'd wished the kid luck on his way out. He hadn't seen Leia since they'd argued.

More pounding on the ramp, though Han couldn't tell how many pairs of feet hit the deck plates. Wedge stood and left for mere seconds before returning. "They're both on."

Han glanced at Chewie and flipped a couple of switches. "Hang on. Gonna get us outta here."

The ship was quiet. Han hadn't left the cockpit except to use the 'fresher, and even then, he hadn't run into Leia. Luke had said she was okay, that neither of them had been hurt while fighting off the large creature that had delayed their arrival. Han knew, though…Chewie had been right; if Leia had had to kill three beings, she probably wasn't as okay as Luke thought she was.

He wanted to see her himself, but he imagined that would have to wait. The ship was quiet, and though it was unlikely Leia would get much sleep, Han figured she'd at least hole herself up somewhere private.

When he entered the lounge with the intention of grabbing some water before heading to bed himself, he was startled to see her standing at the counter. She stared into a mug sitting on the counter, uninjured, alive, and wearing an expression that struck Han as so sad, he felt the emotion himself.

Relief at seeing her safe and uninjured flooded every part of him, and when she looked up, her gaze meeting his, he couldn't hold himself back. Han walked to her quickly and wrapped his arms around her slight frame, drawing her to his chest without saying a word. Leia buried her face in his shirt and let out a shaky sob as he held her close.

Sweetheart, he thought, running his hand up and down her back as she cried. "You're okay," he said quietly, as much reassurance for himself as it was for her. He tightened his arm around her. "You're okay, Leia. We're all okay."

Leia wrapped her arms around him, fingers twisting in his shirt. He had held her like this once before, months prior as she had received a shot, but this time, the urge to kiss her hair, her forehead, her nose, her lips was both present and nearly overwhelming. Han closed his eyes and chased off those impulses by tucking her head under his chin instead.

"I killed three people," she whispered.

"You did what you had to do, sweetheart."

She pulled back, shaking her head. "I didn't even think to stun them. I…I just shot them."

Han rested his hand on her shoulder. The back of his thumb brushed against the soft, smooth skin of her neck. Leia leaned into the touch, her movement so slight, it couldn't have been conscious. She looked up at him, distress clear on her face, big, brown eyes shining with tears. Han wanted nothing more than to reassure her, to make her feel better.

"Hey," he said softly, thumb still brushing against her skin, "you have more experience in the field than you used to. You're evaluatin' circumstances quicker. You probably did think to stun them and realized it wasn't possible before you had a chance to hear your own thoughts. Would you have been able to stun them?"

Leia bit her lip and shook her head.

"See? You're just thinkin' faster than before. That's all."

Her brows knit together and she looked him in the eye, tears slipping down her cheeks. "You really think so?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I do. C'mere." Han pulled her into his arms again and Leia relaxed slightly against him, cheek pressed against his chest. "You thought quick and got everyone outta there. That's what's important."

She didn't say anything more, but she didn't attempt to pull away from him, either; in fact, Leia gripped him in a tight, unwavering embrace. Han rested his chin on the crown of her head, glad she seemed to want him close. The desire to press gentle kisses against her hair and skin again rose in him for a second time, but Han shoved it away again, forcing himself to focus on what was best for her in that moment.

Leia could have just about every part of him, if she wanted any of it, and if all she wanted right then was comfort and reassurance…well, he could give that to her.