A/N: Whelp...behold and beware the divine voice of Selemene's High Priestess.

Chapter 9: Forgive Me, Mother, For I Have Sinned

"Oh, sweet merciful goddess of the heavens

You are the Mother Moon among her star children

Who, on this night, shines at full splendor upon the unholy earth

You are the source of all light in the darkness

Yet, I can only ask for your forgiveness

For, I must confess more sins:

I knew that after my transgressions from the previous night, it was especially wrong to let my eyes linger on the Dragon Knight in the morning light. The poor pagan remains lost in the petty struggles set up by the false god, but goddess, the Dragon Knight is temptation.

Out in the river, catching me food, I swear to you I could have watched this reflection of your light for many cycles. It is like you personally crafted this man for standing naked in the glistening water. My eyes betrayed me, hovering a bit lower than usual to take in his fine thigh muscles and finer ass. Truly, goddess, even you would appreciate such a marvel.

But that is no excuse, I know, and I regret to say I did not wish to do what I thought was right.

When faced with the Dragon Knight's mundane beauty, I could not turn away without sighing. Though I had a fire to attend to, the knowledge that my hard decision had been made, and your presence to look forward to, my eyes did continue to drift over to the Dragon Knight. Once, I caught sight of him just in time to see him wipe water from his brow, making an array of dawn-hued sparkles. This, at last, convinced me of my folly.

I bit my lip and turned completely away from him. I knew he was too much for me and that I couldn't keep traveling with him like this, without even Mirana at my side to guard my virtue.

I know you see the handling of my base desires as a means to further loyalty, but I simply do not trust myself to say no every time the Dragon Knight propositions me. I already told you of the night before. His interest then, though not as deep or meaningful as yours, kindled my lustful nature almost beyond reckoning.

So, I did what I thought I must to ensure you would not grow to doubt that you are my one true goddess and love. When I heard him come out of the water laden with fish, I wanted to look, but goddess, I am pleased to say I did not. Instead, I held up my sacrilegious handiwork from the night before.

He gave thanks which boosters my hope that Davion will see your light in this life, but goddess, he knew not what he did when he gave back the gift to me wet and dripping. I looked upon it and realized he had mistaken my offering as a towel and must have rubbed it all over his impressive body before returning it to me.

My reaction to this knowledge did not do me credit, goddess. Forgive me.

It was with flush features that I gazed up at the pagan, taking in his long legs, but before my eyes strayed to that place, I thrusted my profane gift up towards him once more. My reach was lacking and once again he misunderstood.

Forgive him, goddess. I do not think he meant to induce such erotic confusion in me. He is normally very smart and well-meaning, for a sun person. Though misguided, he talked of ownership and apologized very sincerely. Do you think his humility shows how close he is to reaching you?

I hope so, but it is not for me to know.

For now, I will continue the recounting of my sins as they do not end here.

I know I should have better explained my meaning to the Dragon Knight immediately. He would have listened, but in my own weakness, I placed my offering by the fire to dry and delayed the necessary conversation for a time. However, when we finished all the admittedly delicious fish Davion caught—

They were very good, goddess. Everything in this forestland is naturally salted and I slow-cooked the silverbacks to the correct texture. I have many sins, but those fish are not one of them. Davion's hunting was quite fruitful as well. He even managed to catch a few lapis snappers. You know how fond I am of snappers. Their skin when charred is unspeakably good. Even without dill or sage, the fish came out ready for a feast. And feast I did. I ate dozens. Davion in his kindness kept returning to the cold water until I was finally sated. He and I both wondered if such a thing was possible, but after a time, even my vast stomach stilled. Davion joked about it. He is funny, goddess, and when he laughs…

But I forget myself, forgive my distraction. You know my carnal nature always hungers for more. I am too easily won over by food and you need not worry about the Dragon Knight's beguiling cheerfulness. For I, at last, made good on my sacrifice and presented my quarce dried? Fourice dried? Frice dried?

Regardless, goddess, it was dried and I offered it to the Dragon Knight.

The Dragon Knight once again misunderstood its purpose so I laid it upon his lap. I admit to temptation, but I did not touch his bare skin. I know better. He and I had already made room for you in our hearts, so the distance between us could be felt and seen.

Beyond our small joke about my eating habits, Davion remained respectful of your presence in my life and when he finally understood the nature of my gift, he retreated further from the idea of seducing me. Once again, he thanked me, and while I kept my gaze off him, he donned the loincloth I had made from my sacred tunic and long-sleeved cardigan.

The blue cardigan acts as a belt and my purple-hued tunic now covers what I ought not to look at. I know it was heterodox to repurpose my sacred garments, goddess. Mirana told me as much when I removed my robe earlier in our journey, but I did not know another way.

Davion has so much to recommend him. I wish to show him your light, but he has not said that he is ready. Since I am not one of your chosen campaigners, I know it is wrong for me to imagine such things prematurely. Forgive me, goddess. I know he will come when he has seen you and I must focus on your light, not his darkness.

I am nothing without you

And I am everything with you

Please, I need your love

Cleanse my corrupted heart

I can offer some consolation besides my revitalized loyalty and the Dragon Knight's newly acquired modesty. For even I knew not to give the Dragon Knight my High Priestess brooch. I made sure to store the gem in one of my side bags. I also am still wearing my sacred sky black underclothes, so only my arms can be seen by the false god. The rest is yours as it should be.

I ask you again to please, forgive my sins and understand my ways as only you can. Compared to my other transgressions recently, this may seem minor and yet every sin against you feels wrong and unjust. I want to be worthy of you. I wish I was, but…

Please do forgive me, goddess

For I still have more sins to confess:

The Dragon Knight and I set off again on our wayward journey. While I slept on his back, he fell down a slope, dirtying his loincloth beyond recognition. He apologized, but I feel that the fault is mine. I am grateful you spared Davion from harm, goddess, and this too I know is sin. Forgive me for being so particular. I truly wish that this was the last of my failings. For a time, it was, but as you know the false god has visited me this dark moon night.

It began in the twilight. The Dragon Knight went to bed early, claiming fatigue. I sat ready to begin my prayer to you, but it was not to be. The sky which had been in disarray all day finally gave way to the false god's whim and his water fell to the earth.

I tried to discount the distraction, goddess, but I could not. The rain smothered the fire and it seemed that the lack of warmth was making Davion shiver. I might have yet ignored this. He had told me that I should if it rained so, but then he began to moan. It was a pitiful sound, goddess. I could not pray to you as I ought while I heard such obvious suffering.

I had to end it, so I did as I thought you would in my position. I went to Davion, crawling as I could not walk on my injured foot. As I neared, I beheld such strangeness. The rain hissed off him like he was a frying pan. And yet, by the time I managed to touch his brow, the rain fell on him as it ought and his skin was colder than yours, goddess. Davion is a sun person blinded by the false god and bereft of your blessings, so I thought it was very unnatural for him to share in your cool perfection.

Concerned by the wrongness I saw and felt, I tried to shake him awake. Davion's body became hot. The rain sizzled on his skin for a few moments. Then he was cold once more. All the while he moaned nonsense and his eyes did not open.

At this point, I became certain that my instincts were right and he was not well. I concluded that the water was hurting him like it does Lina at times. I decided that he needed a dry space, so I left him for a short time, moving about in the rain and mud to find shelter.

Sooner than I hoped, I discovered a nearby cave. Thus satisfied, I returned.

At first, I tried to lift him onto my back, goddess, but I lacked the strength for it. And so, I was faced with a choice and I do not know if I made the right one. I must defer to your judgment, goddess. For, I activated my prayer scars and used your strength to drag him into the cave. Moreover, before coming to you, I kept using your power to gather firewood and force the wood dry to ensure that his well-being was secured.

Beyond my wish to end suffering, I thought that the fact that Davion was an asset to this holy quest justified my use of your divine power. However, after reciting my other sins, I now fear that my thinking was clouded and that my actions this night were fueled by selfish, petty, and short-sighted desires. Thus, I ask for your forgiveness, understanding, and clarification for this last sin. For even if I was right, I know my ignorance and indecision is a sin within itself.

I am truly sorry, goddess. Not just for this or all my other sins this cycle, but for everything.

Selemene, you are so good and kind. I remain ever thankful for your blessings upon me. Your faith in my person humbles me. Being without you this week surrounded by temptations, fire, and decisions that require wisdom beyond my feeble mind has shown me how much I need your love, light, and guidance.

I am your High Priestess. I know I should see the way, but I fear I often do not.

On this night, after relating all my sins, I feel as if all I seem to do is fail to live up to you and my previous incarnations. I worry that one day you will see me as I see myself in this moment.

Such thoughts are unworthy of you, I know. You expect more from me. Goddess, please forgive me for returning your belief with my doubt. It is yet another weakness. The longer we are apart, the more I yearn to hear your voice and feel your touch and wallow in your love and acceptance. For, I love you. I know that is true still. I resisted the Dragon Knight and all others because you are the only one that I need and I do need you.

I miss you, Selemene.

The pain of our separation has been unbearable at times. Never have I wanted to see you more and never have I more feared what your coming will bring. I know though that whatever your judgment upon me is, it will be right. And just seeing you will lighten my heart and do me good.

And so, I wait for you here, in this dreary cave trapped inside this forgotten wetland of unholy trees.

With the divine voice you gifted me, I have thus laid bare all my sins this cycle. It fills me with gratitude to know that somewhere out there you have heard me, but I know your time is precious. I may be your High Priestess, but I am a fragment of a star child whereas you are the mother goddess of the moon, sky, and stars. So, as is right, on this, the first night of the dark moon, I conclude my lengthy confession by offering you this final prayer:

Goddess, you have left the sky to walk among us unworthy mortals

Please, Selemene, pierce the darkness that is around me

Please, cast your divine judgment upon me

I will bear any punishment you give

For, I am your High Priestess

And, you are my goddess

I will wait for you

Please, come

Selemene

Please

Come"

A/N: Well, that was...different, right? I hope you enjoyed it.

A special thank you to my sprained ankle, I guess? The injury inspired me to come back to this fic earlier than expected. Silver linings and all that. Also thank you to ErrantTalisman and march4fun for their support in this one. I was a bit nervous when I first conceptualized this chapter. Yes, I am very aware that Marci's "voice" is a bit different from her head talk. There is a reason for this. Don't worry. We will go into it later.

Now...I go back to Of Rats and Royals...

See you later!