Lexa stayed quiet for a moment as she let Clarke's words settle around them. For a moment whatever between them felt something a little more intimate than moments they had shared previously. She knew that should have seemed so silly considering they had been physically intimate, that she had actually killed Clarke and that Clarke had used her blood to bring her back from the brink of death. And yet?
Maybe it was the fact that they were outside, under the shadow of a grand tree, and that they stood in the dimming light of a gentle dusk as birdsong whispered upon the wind that rustled trees and leaves all around them.
"It is not often that I allow myself to roam the forests when it is light outside," Clarke said quietly, her gaze turning outwards and to the trees around them, to the few structures of Ton DC that were more easily seen hidden amongst the wilds of the forest.
Lexa nodded her head. She knew why Clarke didn't allow herself to take such risks. But perhaps it was just dark enough now that her presence wasn't so easily noticed. Or maybe Lexa hoped it was another reason entirely.
"What will you do once this is all done?" Lexa gestured around them as if to explain the challenges that Mount Weather presented them, as if to include the coming war she was afraid could consume everything she knew.
Clarke smiled, the expression so subtle that Lexa almost missed it. But she saw the crinkle in the corners of Clarke's eyes, she saw the quirking of her lips.
"I do not often let myself consider that question," Clarke said as she slowly lowered herself to the ground, her legs folded beneath her as she found a comfortable position, her back to the tree.
"Why?" Lexa asked, and it was a simple question, but one she found herself wanting to have answered.
And so Lexa sat, too. She sat with her own back to the tree's trunk, close enough to Clarke that she could press their shoulders together if she so dared to.
Clarke turned to face her and within her eyes Lexa could see thought, consideration and ponderance. She thought maybe Clarke would ignore her question, she thought maybe she was giving it a long moment's thought. And perhaps she wondered if Clarke simply thought of something else entirely.
"At times I wonder what my people would be like if we were not at war," Clarke's voice was quiet, more human than Lexa had heard before. "Since I was a child, my very first memories have been of conflict, preparing for a fight I knew would one day come," she continued. "And now perhaps the end is closer than I had once dared it to ever be."
Lexa found herself looking upon Clarke who now stared up into the what little of the sky could be seen overhead. She marvelled at the way her skin seemed so pale, at times translucent enough that the pulsing black of her blood could be seen breathing life throughout her body.
Lexa didn't quite know when it happened, but sometime between the first moment she had laid eyes upon Clarke in all her horrid glory and the quiet of the company they shared in that moment, Lexa realised she thought Clarke so intriguing, her visage captivating, something to explore further in ways that seemed so oddly more intimate than the touch, the passion, the pleasure they had seemingly indulged in together. And it seemed off. Seemed silly in some way.
"What was it like growing up?" Lexa asked, and for a countless time she didn't know why she thought herself able to ask such questions of Clarke.
A gentle hum answered her question as Clarke let her legs sprawl out on the forest floor, the movements something between languid and serene.
"Not many would dare ask such a question," Clarke said, her gaze ever settled up into the sky in thought.
Once more Lexa thought there a lightness in the challenge of Clarke's words, something she found herself wanting to tease out of her.
"Not many have had you inside them like I have," it was more forward than Lexa would normally be. But she liked the way Clarke's eyes narrowed a fraction, she liked the way Clarke's eyebrows twitched ever so slightly. And she knew Clarke took a moment to consider in which way Lexa had meant.
Clarke turned to face her then, the turn of her head poised, so regal and steady it seemed almost statuesque in motion and in appearance as a shadow fell across the pale grey of her face.
A quiet chuckle broke the silence then and Lexa found herself enjoying the sound more and more with each passing second.
But Clarke's laughter quietened as quickly as it began. Her eyes turned a little darker. She sighed, perhaps to break whatever tension had formed within her, or perhaps to reorient herself in some way. And Lexa was content to watch, to study, to take in every little thing that she saw of the woman beside her.
And then Clarke spoke, her voice quiet, steady and calm once more.
"As soon as a nightblood is born it is known who and what they are," she spoke it with a quiet conviction and acceptance that Lexa knew she must have been thinking of her past in some measurable way. "I do not think I have known anything other than serving my people," Clarke said.
Lexa considered not asking the thought that had appeared within her mind in that moment. But the more she tried to convince herself otherwise, the more she found herself wanting to ask, to know, to learn more about Clarke and who she was and not the ruler of a people who looked upon her as something more than human.
And so ask Lexa did.
"What would you do if you weren't a nightblood?"
Clarke appeared to take her question with more seriousness than one would expect of such a trivial question. But again Lexa was unsure why she seemed to sense so much of Clarke in that moment. She'd spend some time trying to understand those thoughts, those revelations at another time perhaps.
"I would be a painter, or a healer," Clarke said quietly and she smiled, the expression slight.
That surprised Lexa. Mostly because she hadn't expected Clarke to answer her.
"Do you paint?" Lexa asked.
"No," Clarke shook her head and lifted a hand up into the sky, her fingers splayed apart as if she were allowing the dimming sunlight dance against her flesh. "I do not."
"Maybe one day when this is all over you can try?"
"Perhaps."
They both fell silent then. Whatever moment they had shared seemingly fading into the quiet of the forest around them. Lexa didn't mind though, and she didn't think Clarke did either.
"I don't think I'm ready for whatever is going to happen," Lexa said eventually, her thoughts turning to whatever plans and battles and things Clarke had planned.
"Why?" Clarke asked her.
"It's not something I ever trained for, not something I ever expected to be involved in."
Clarke hummed another quiet response and Lexa could tell Clarke thought of plans she had conjured up within her mind many moons ago.
"You think your people will not be able to take control of the Mountain without my people's help?" Clarke asked, her tone indicating that she seemed open to discussion, open to pushback in some small way. "You think that if they fail they will be killed and that my people will destroy every and all things Mountain? That it will result in the bloodshed of hundreds of people on both sides?"
Lexa let Clarke's words sink into her mind as she looked at her, and she tried to see if there was more to Clarke's plan, more to the things she had been told.
"Are you really willing to change whatever strategy you had, are you willing to throw everything behind a hope that my people will be the ones to deliver you the killing blow before things have even started?" Lexa had never needed to make plans like the ones she had been exposed to since coming to the ground. But there was something just beneath the surface she found herself unable to fully understand. "Why risk a change of plans now when you were so ready with whatever it was you initially believed would work?"
Clarke's head tilted to the side ever so subtle as she seemingly took measure of Lexa and the things she had said. And this time Lexa felt that prickle on the back of her neck again as she recalled the first time she had seem Clarke, when she had felt like a cornered prey being studied by something so very superior to what she could ever dream of being or understanding. And she knew she had touched on something she shouldn't have.
"You should be the one leading your clan, Lexa of the sky people."
Anya sat with her back against the cool of the concrete wall. Her quarters seemed far too crowded in that moment with Octavia, Bellamy and Kane all standing or sitting before her. Quiet discussion had been flowing between them for the last half hour but she didn't think any progress had been made in any kind of way that would help them understand more than what they already did.
"I still don't know how we're supposed to help," Bellamy's voice was quiet as he looked between everyone else around them. "All I know is that we're supposed to create a distraction at some time— which we don't know when that is, I might add, and then that's supposed to help everyone outside get inside here and take control?" that last part came out more question than statement and Anya watched as Bellamy sighed forcefully only to wince as his bruised and still swollen face protested the motion.
"To be honest," Kane's voice was a little more sure as it filled the quiet of the room. "I agree with Bellamy," he said. "Look," and he shrugged, swept his hands outwards and looked between them all. "Clearly we aren't being told everything from both sides in this conflict. What I saw," he paused and seemed to shudder at the memories. "It lines up with what you've told us Bellamy, it lines up with what Lexa has said to you, Anya," he pointed to her. "But still. I don't know if we can trust these grounders and their ruler."
"To play devil's advocate," Bellamy lifted a hand. "Maya wasn't entirely a prisoner," he said. "She's given as much free reign as can be expected," and he seemed to think over something for a moment. "She truly believes that helping Clarke is the right thing to do."
"Are we really debating this?" Octavia asked then. "They're torturing people, bleeding them dry in some kind of twisted science experiment. Is it really surprising that these people want everyone in Mount Weather dead?" Octavia looked around at everyone else before her gaze settled on her and Anya nodded, in part to tell her to go on if she wanted, and in part to tell her she agreed. "We've got enough people in here who could really help," Octavia pushed. "Raven, Monty, the others who landed with Lexa," she took in a breath. "If we can show them the prisoners, they'll be convinced."
"It's too risky," Kane said. "We've got lucky so far being able to see as much as we have. Even talking with Lexa on the radio is risky."
Anya unfortunately agreed with what Kane said in that moment. But she still thought Octavia had a point.
"Not that it helps but I agree with both of you," Anya said with a sigh. "Look," Anya continued. "The facts are that Lexa and Bellamy were captured by these grounders, they treated you well enough all things considered and they say that their leader and her people are being used as some kind of medicine to keep everyone in Mount Weather healthy," Anya looked around at everyone once more to make sure they were all following along. "We," she gestured to herself, to Kane and Octavia, "have all seen what they're doing—"
"—And it's being kept secret from us," Octavia added.
"Yeah," Anya said. "These grounders have been pretty upfront with us," she paused to think over everything she knew so far. "They want us to help them take down Mount Weather from the inside out. We could do it if we took control of their systems."
"Where we'd need more help," Octavia added once more.
Anya nodded her head in agreement again.
"Presumably it would result in less bloodshed, too, if we took control and forced Mount Weather to surrender," Kane said quietly. "But we'd risk being caught and stopped before the plan worked. Then all our people would be the ones on the chopping block."
Anya sighed for Kane had a point. One to which she had come to the same conclusion.
"That's the main problem," Anya said. "At least as far as I can see. We do nothing and risk getting caught in the cross fire or simply being one of the many casualties of whatever is about to happen. Or we take control and end it all but risk all our people instead."
"It's a sacrifice, one way or the other," Kane's voice was calm, steady, but Anya could see his mind was racing as he seemingly tried to think of some way out of whatever predicament they were in. "We need answers," Kane finished.
"Yeah," Anya didn't think there was anything else they really could do without something more concrete. "I'll try to organise another call with Lexa and their leader."
It was dark by the time Lexa made it back to what had come to be her home within Ton DC. Candles shone their light around the small village and she could hear voices of people who moved about outside. The conversation she had had with Clarke had left her feeling a little unsure of what to expect in the next few days. She thought there a lull in things, something was happening and yet she couldn't quite place her finger on it. Perhaps it was simply because she was well and truly alone now that Bellamy had been taken to Mount Weather and she had no one to talk to who could understand her in some way.
But she thought the fact she felt uncomfortable more so to do with the simple fact that maybe she had tried her luck one time too many for Clarke's demeanour had changed ever so subtly as their conversation had drifted towards plans and subterfuge and things to come.
And so Lexa sighed, she shook her head and she fell down onto her small bed, her eyes peering up at the wood ceiling as she tried to clear her mind.
She'd try to find some food soon, maybe even share in whatever evening meal was being had with those who called Ton DC home if she was allowed. That was one thing she wished to know more of. That was one thing that intrigued her. She knew so little of these people, of Trikru, of Azgeda, the other clans she had heard little of and had seen even less of. She knew things were different on the ground than they were in space, she knew brutalities and violence were commonplace and that she would have to accept that as the way things were. For now at least. But still, she wanted to see more, to learn more, to discover what life was like.
Wasn't that why she had volunteered to be amongst the first of her people to even risk coming down to earth in the first place?
But it was with those thoughts that she realised one very strange thing.
She had begun to think of life after Mount Weather's destruction. She found it so funny, so foolish in some way, to even consider the possibility when at times she felt herself nothing more than a simple pawn in a game Clarke played with all those who called Earth home.
And then Lexa began to think of Clarke, of the things they had talk about over the days, the things she knew of her, and the moments they had shared.
She had tried to broach the topic of what they were with the woman previously and yet she hadn't quite got an answer to that question. Maybe she shouldn't be surprised that Clarke thought of them as nothing more than a momentary distraction in uncertain times. But still, Lexa was sure there was something else there. At least she could convince herself of that simply because Clarke had shared more of her than she had with anyone else. That, Lexa was sure. But there was the thought that it was all a game, all a ploy of Clarke's to get Lexa to trust her, to go along with her plan to use her people to destroy her enemy and not risk her warriors.
And yet…
And yet what?
Lexa sighed, she sat and she groaned. Her mind was racing more and more with each passing second. Perhaps getting food would do her good, perhaps talking to someone other than a guard or Clarke, or Ontari would do her better than stewing in her own uncertainties—
A knock on her door made her gaze snap to it to find a shadow slipping through the crack where door met floor.
Lexa stood, her head cocked to the side ever so subtly as she reached for the door and opened it.
Her eyes widened as she found herself face to face with Clarke. But this time Clarke was dressed in armour, leathers and furs that wove together in such intricacies that it in part seemed more ceremonial than practical. But Lexa knew it more than capable of protecting, of keeping the wearer safe—
"Is it not rude to stare?" Clarke's voice cut into her thoughts and Lexa's gaze snapped back up to her face.
"Sorry," Lexa didn't entirely know what it was that was about to happen. "Can I help you?" Lexa winced as soon as the words left her mouth.
And so Clarke smiled something a little more predatory than Lexa liked.
"We are going hunting."