A/N So um...apparently I have another chapter ready? I dunno man, it's fucking long I don't know what happened. Josephine is still having a very not good time btw, but she'll get there. I mean when that kind of thing happens you're gonna be having a very not good time for at least a little while.
We are getting vestiges of emerging from this giant pot of angst towards the end of the chapter so if you're getting fatigued, just know there's more than just a fools hope of some lighter tones coming back into thing. Plus more flashbacks can start happening that are less...traumatizing, I believe was someone's description of the nightmare aftermath one, which is a description I'll gladly accept lol.
Also I feel like I'm really outing myself as a whump/hurt/comfort slut right now, especially with this chapter. Wait, are we still calling it whump? I don't know. I'm not hip anymore.
Jokes on the world, I was never hip :P
I'm also very tired and I think I caught at least most of the weird misplaced words and grammar issues but as usual, please forgive my shitty beta job. Fucking bless.
She remembered Fili coaxing her up the tree, being passed from dwarf to dwarf, higher and higher. From the sturdy branch, held tight as her head swam, flames began to eat at the darkness under them. The fire licked the sky but a dark shape cut the light in two, a sword glimmering in its hand. Some part of her took note, knowing it was Thorin. She forced her eyes into focus, trying to see from so far away what was happening.
Through the fire she saw him for the first time, the Pale Orc. The thing she had to confront if she was going to save them.
She closed her eyes for only a moment and then Bilbo was standing in the way of the orcs. She blinked away and the dwarves were running out to fight. Then once again her eyes slipped shut and a sound filled the sky, familiar somehow, but she didn't remember why.
Then they were falling and she was spinning, somewhere between the ground and the sky. Gold was beneath her and above her and wind was all around.
Once her body stopped moving and her hands felt stone between them her vision ever so slowly began to clear. "Where are we?" She asked through dry, bloodied lips that Fili quickly pressed a waterskin to.
"Not certain." He said. "Some kind of carrack the eagles brought us to."
Curled up on her side he stuffed a bundle of cloth under her head. She missed the eagles coming. Again.
"Did we all make it? Where's Thorin? Is he okay?" She had to know their place in it all, she'd blinked and missed too much. "Bilbo! Where's Bilbo? Did he get out of the mountain?"
"Bilbo is fine, you've seen him already. See, he's right there." Thorin had Bilbo pressed against his chest, thanking him for saving his life she hoped.
"Uncle!" Fili called. Thorin came over and kneeled next to him, looking a little worse for wear himself. "She's becoming confused. We cannot keep moving her like this."
"You're confused." She countered limply. Each beat of her heart centered itself in her back and radiated through the rest of her. She dared not shift or move at all, even breathing made it worse. But there was a story to follow, a plan to maintain. "We have to keep moving. No time to rest until Beorn's." Wait, had Gandalf brought that up to them yet?
Thorin laid his hand on her head and looked up. "Oin, what do you suggest?"
The old dwarf walked over and touched her cheek, then pulled aside the edge of what he'd wrapped around her wounds. She jerked involuntarily and shied away so instantly he didn't draw it back further.
"I need supplies, water, bandages." He said plainly. "And she needs a safe place to rest."
Gandalf cleared his throat behind her. "She is not wrong, there is a house near here where we might find shelter. Several hours even if we travel quickly but it may be our only option." He passed his flask to Thorin. "Use it sparingly, there is precious little. But it may give her strength enough to endure the journey."
"Fili, Kili, head down and gather branches, we'll need something to carry her with." Thorin instructed.
With his nephews out of earshot Thorin tipped the flask against her lips and she sighed as even that small amount gave her a sliver of relief.
"I dare not believe our capture was unseen by you." He said under his breath.
"I had no choice, we had to go down there."
"Mahal, child, have you not heard the tales of what they do to their captives?"
She took too deep of a breath and hissed when everything burned. "Just trust me."
He sighed and glanced up at Gandalf, like he was checking to make sure the wizard had his back turned before sneaking her a second sip of the miruvor. "You make my charge of protecting you more difficult by the day, Lady Josephine."
"Fine one to talk." She mumbled in reply. "Besides, I thought you weren't going to take on that responsibility." Then something occurred to her. What if…Like her wound at Morannon, this was no small thing. They might enter the final battle without her… "Thorin-"
"Save your strength." He ordered gently. "We will get you to this Beorn's house." He stood again, awkwardly and clearly also in a bad way. "Dwalin, take her down to Fili and Kili. Bilbo, go with her."
Down at the base of the carrack, Dwalin's cloak was strung between the branches the brothers had gathered. The miruvor was wearing off by the time they got moving and she was soon pinching her eyes shut against every shift and jostle. The sun rose but it made the world too bright and she buried her face in whatever it was they'd folded under her head as a pillow. The sun was high and warm but it was like it couldn't reach her, she was cold from the inside, near shivering but using all of her will not to.
"Her color is poor." Oin muttered, touching her cheek again with his hand as they walked.
Something heavy and warm was tucked around her and she could feel their pace quicken. And then quicken again. There was no stillness, just the yelling of the dwarves and the shaking as they carried her.
Then it was still, and it was quiet. Voices floated around her and a warm light etched at the dark. The air was close but fragrant with herbs and the smoky scent of a fire. Josephine didn't realize they were inside until she made out the form of an enormous table and a lit hearth.
She was on her stomach, with her head turned out facing the room. Her torn and bloody clothes lay in a pile on one of the chairs but she was warm, surrounded by furs.
Craning her neck she saw Thorin, Oin, and Gandalf speaking in hushed tones just out of earshot. Then Bilbo came up and sat down next to her. She was on a bed in some sort of alcove and he had to step up on something to reach her. His tight smile was probably meant to put her at ease but it didn't.
"Beorn's house?" Her voice rasped, each word heavy and costly to say.
"Safe and sound." He lied.
"How bad does it look?" She asked warily. She could feel the sting of air on her wounds and knew they weren't covered.
Bilbo's eyes flicked across her back and flashed with worry. "Not nearly as bad as I'm sure you're imagining."
The conversation between the three ended and Thorin looked grim. Josephine was unsettled by their demeanors and braced herself as Thorin took Bilbo's place at her side.
He didn't say much, only, "Bite on this, it will be over soon." and stuck a strip of leather between her teeth.
Oin climbed up and around to her other side. "Be strong now lass."
Her eyes bulged and she cried out as all of the pain came back into focus. Water washed over her skin that felt as if it were boiling hot and sharp stabs picked at her wounds. She withered and tried to pull away but she didn't have the strength and they held her steady.
"Will the strain not make her fever worsen?" Thorin growled.
"It will do far less than if I don't get this debris out." Oin argued.
He kept on and she lost count of time. Thorin and Bilbo's faces blurred and came back into focus over and over. All she knew was fire, so much fire. Inescapable agony with no relief or respite. The leather fell from her teeth but it didn't stop.
Why wasn't he there? His gentle hands to sooth her hot brow? "Please get him." She managed to whine, nails digging grooves into Thorin's hand.
"Who?" Bilbo asked.
Who? Who else could she possibly want? "Aragorn, please-" A scream tore out of her throat.
"Oin, can you not be more gentle!" Thorin snapped.
"I'm bein' as gentle as I can be!"
"Get Aragorn, please get him." She begged. She needed him there.
"Keep her still!" Oin cried. "She's makin' it worse on herself."
"I don't think she can help it much." Bilbo argued. Sweat ran into her eyes and he pressed a damp cloth to her forehead.
"Please, he'll come, just send-"
Bilbo grimaced as she screamed, calling Aragorn's name again. "He's not here, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Thorin held tight to her hand. "Seeing him again is what awaits you at the end of this, but you must hold strong, Josephine."
"Surely there is something we could give her." Bilbo complained. "What about that flask of Gandalf's?"
"We must keep what little is left in the case the fever worsens." Thorin explained. "And I fear it would make no difference to her pain now."
Whimpers and cries crawled from her lips without restraint or notice. It was the last she knew before the darkness finally took her.
Aragorn woke with a start, her voice echoing in his head, screaming and begging for him. Sweat soaked him through and his mouth was bone dry. He knew it was a dream, but he couldn't help but imagine it had been born of real suffering.
He stumbled out into their sitting room, lighting a candle and leaning over their breakfast table, now perpetually covered in maps. Marked on them was her path, each day accounted for. He stared at the dark line leading out of Goblin Town. It had been mere hours since they should have left those halls.
Her screams replayed over and over and he pinched his eyes shut.
Just a dream. That was all.
But dream or no, Aragorn wouldn't sleep again that night.
Josephine cracked open her dry eyes to daylight and the light sound of Bilbo's voice going through name after name. Second cousins four times removed, fourth cousins, people twice removed, and so on.
Laying along her side an orange tabby purred heavily, one paw resting on her arm as it dozed.
Bilbo leaned down into view and smiled. "Good morning! Or, afternoon I suppose. How are you feeling?"
She tried to answer but her mouth was dry and her throat too sore.
Bilbo noticed and jumped to his feet. He held a bowl to her lips and she drank, expecting water but finding sweet, heavy milk with honey. Beorn's house! That's where they were!
The thick cream coated her throat and she experimentally tried to answer his question. "Terrible. What day is it?"
"The twenty-first of July I believe."
They had to leave tomorrow.
Her body was sore and stiff, but there were bandages wrapped around her chest and shoulders, hidden under an oversized shirt that must have been a spare of one of the dwarves'.
Bracing her hands she pushed herself inch by inch up to her knees. Bilbo reached frantically and tried to support her as best he could.
"You shouldn't be up just yet." He said nervously. "If Thorin sees you like this he'll have a fit."
"Thorin will just be happy to see me up so we can leave sooner." She grumbled, taking a steadying breath as she got her wits about her.
Bilbo scoffed. "Hardly. Do you not remember anything from last night?"
"I'm having the impression from how I feel that I might not want to."
"Well, " Bilbo huffed. "You had quite the time of it. Thorin didn't leave your side till dawn.
Now it was her turn to scoff. "Uhuh. Probably hoping I'd let some future knowledge slip before I bit the dust."
"Think what you like, but in my opinion he was genuinely concerned. As worried as the rest of us at least."
Josephine knew he had that side to him, buried somewhere, she'd just given up on being on the receiving end of it. Maybe almost dying was the real trick then.
Bilbo had something else on his mind and he seemed hesitant to broach it, but finally he just asked. "Aragorn, is that your husband's name?"
Josephine froze, he shouldn't know that name. "What did I say last night?"
"Nothing!" Bilbo assured her. "But you were calling out for him is all."
Thank god. She could've let slip anything and ruined everything.
Bilbo was quick to change the subject after that. "Are you hungry? You haven't eaten in days."
She hadn't been until he mentioned it and her stomach growled. "I could eat."
"Right. Stay right there, I'll be back. Don't get up! No need to overdo it!"
He disappeared out the back door and she reached for the frame of the alcove. Gripping it she pulled her legs over the edge of the bed, got her bearings, and then let her feet slip onto the floor. Since standing seemed to work well enough with only a minor headrush, she tried taking a step. When that worked, she took another. She made her way all the way to the back door and then realized the table was gone. When she stepped outside she realized why.
The table was sitting on the grass, benches and all, surrounded by the dwarves and Gandalf while Beorn poured from a huge pitcher.
Bofur caught sight of her first and gave a cheer.
Bilbo poked his head around the benches and frowned at her. "I told you to stay put." He said sternly.
"Needed to stretch my legs." She excused.
Kili jumped down and offered his arm, helping her into his vacated seat. From the head of the table Thorin caught her eye. She nodded back and turned to the bowl of broth Bilbo sat down in front of her.
"How are you feeling?" Ori asked beside her.
"Better than I'd expect."
"Up already." Beorn's booming voice chimed in. "Your companion is strong, Gandalf."
He loomed over them, making her feel like a dwarf in comparison. "Well met." She said politely, trying to be extra aware of what he would find appropriate for the situation. She was fairly sure she'd ended up commandeering his bed the night before. "Thank you for your hospitality."
Beorn harrumphed, given he'd had little say in the matter. But he did fill a fresh mug with milk, plucked something from his garden that he added to it, and then set the mug in front of her. "Drink. It will help restore your strength."
He walked away without waiting to see if she'd do what he said. It was more milk and honey, but it took her a moment to place what he'd put in it. Athelas. Of course.
"How much do you remember?" Kili asked.
"Ask me tomorrow." Honestly she couldn't say. It was all a blur after the stone giants. She didn't know what was hers, what came from the movie, or what was a straight up hallucination.
"Well ye told the great goblin to go fuck 'imself, I know I won't be forgettin' that anytime soon." Bofur said impressively.
"Sounds like me." She agreed, feeling an uneasiness creep in as it pulled parts of things into place.
That set the company off and they began, in great and occasionally differing detail, to recount what happened starting with Gandalf's rescue. Their animated telling was light hearted but it wound around and through what she knew and remembered.
Her appetite left her and she set down her spoon.
"Quiet!" Thorin eventually snapped as they grew louder.
The company fell silent, shifting awkwardly in their seats.
"Now is not the time for such tales. Lady Josephine has not yet regained her strength."
"Sorry, Miss Josephine." Ori said sheepishly, having been the one to yell out earlier how they'd nearly been chased down by orcs while she was unconscious.
"It's alright. I'm sure it's an exciting story." One that made her queasy to hear.
Beorn put his two cents in, having been listening the whole time. "She needs sleep more than company. You should only wake her for food and drink."
Thorin waved Bilbo off and got up to help her down from the bench himself. She felt more shaky than earlier and there was an undercurrent of fear she couldn't quit push away.
Thorin escorted her back inside and she realized as they came to the bed, that on top of Beorn's quilt it had been made up almost entirely of the cloaks and coats of several members of the company, including Thorin's.
"Are you still in much pain?" He asked, taking hold of her elbow to steady her as she used a round of firewood to climb back up.
"I'll manage." Begging and sobbing to Thorin all night from the sound of it, she felt the need to put on a braver face. She could see half moon shaped cuts on his hand from where her nails had bit into his skin.
"That is not what I asked."
"I'll be ready to travel tomorrow, pain or no pain." She eased down onto her side, letting out a heavy breath when her body finally relaxed.
"Also, not what I asked."
She was tired, she was off her game, and she had no patience for playing games with him. "What the fuck is your deal, Thorin? Yes, I'm in pain. Quite a bit, actually. But we have to keep moving because this damn quest is more important."
"Does it truly matter how we reach the mountain so long as we do it by Durin's Day? Surely we lost more time in those caves than we saved."
"It's not just about the damn timing! Things happen with every step we take that leave marks on what's going to happen decades from now and that shit hole goblin town was more important than you may ever know. It might've even been the most important part of this entire quest in the grand scheme of things. So please, please stop asking me why I had to take that risk."
He sighed, pausing in his questioning to pull his coat over her, careful of her bandages. "I am sorry. You have certainly paid the price for this thing, many times over."
Josephine saw him turn to leave and softened, calling him back. "You've been griping about me being a burden since the Shire and now you're tucking me into bed, what's really going on?"
A hint of shame came to his eyes and he hesitated. "You proved your character on that platform, Lady Josephine. I regret that it took such a thing to make me see it. I was wrong. About both you and Mr. Baggins."
A full apology hadn't been what she'd expected. Piggybacking onto Thorin's good side along with Bilbo was about the only bright side she could pick out from what happened. "Bilbo saved you from the orcs then? I'm guessing. I don't really remember firsthand."
"He did, though I too only remember some of that fight."
"Hurrah physical and psychological trauma." She drawled sarcastically, feeling her limbs getting heavier as the exertion from her trip outside caught up to her.
He smiled at her wry joke and adjusted his coat to make sure she was warm enough. "Take rest, if you are well enough by morning we will depart."
"We've gotta go no matter what."
"We will see what dawn brings. Sleep, child."
That was at least the second time she remembered him calling her that and she was beginning to wonder if he knew how humans aged. "You know I'm like, a third of the way through a normal life cycle of men, right?"
"To a dwarf of nearly two hundred, you are barely into your adolescence. A child, by all accounts."
"I'm an adult as far as men go, old man." She hadn't remembered his age, granted she knew he was old but she'd guessed somewhere a bit further from two hundred. Small unimportant oversight. Her eyes slipped shut as the call of her pillow got stronger, but she wasn't finished. "And we're all infants by elven standards so I think this argument is useless."
"I think you are right, Josephine." He chuckled lightly. "I will take my leave, Mr. Baggins will no doubt be in soon to sit with you."
She heard his heavy footfalls leave the house and didn't hear Bilbo's enter, but she was lulled off to sleep by his voice as he continued whatever family tree he'd been in the midst of explaining when she'd woken.