A/N Well, welcome to Mirkwood y'all. #spiderwarning

Big surprise.

Everyone's high as kites and the points don't matter.

The suffocation of the forest was like a slow boil, starting merely warm and growing into a rolling mess. Day after day they walked, slowly and unsteadily over the broken path, wondering at every turn where the next paving stone was.

The trees were old, and the strange hum she'd felt when they first entered stayed like a drone under her skin. It put her on edge, seeming to be able to seep into her bandages like a solid creature trying to make sure she didn't forget the wounds were there.

With each day she had to stop less for her wounds, but they all had to stop more for the lack of air. The going was slow and arduous and somewhere after two weeks she'd lost count of the days.

But at times, the forest felt familiar somehow. Around the thick trunks and stifling air it was almost like she could hear…

From her place near the center of the group she heard someone call her name.

"This is not your path, Seer Josephine." Galadriel's voice echoed in her head. "If the Dark Lord has not yet returned to Mordor, then there are none to stand in your way."

She stumbled along, trying to look around her to find where Galadriel was hiding but the trees didn't give up her cover.

"Take it."

Something cool was in her palm and Josephine opened her hand fearfully, finding the small gold ring resting against her skin. It faded before her eyes and Galadriel's voice kept on.

"Take it."

"End the War before it begins."

"Take it."

"THIS is why you are here."

"Take it!"

Josephine pinched her eyes shut and planted her feet as her head spun. When she opened them the ring was on her finger and the world rippled around her with white fire. A dark mass lay at her feet, curly hair matted with blood. From far away the dwarves were yelling.

"JOSEPHINE!"

The world snapped back to itself and she blinked to find Kili staring up at her. He snapped his fingers in front of her face and gave her a shake.

"Sorry." She mumbled, not entirely sure what had just happened.

"Are you alright?" He pressed his hand to her forehead. "Not getting feverish again I hope?"

"No, just zoned out a bit. Sorry." A bit. Zoned out? Hardly. Hallucinated? Yes.

Had they not all been feeling a bit out of sorts from the forest, there might have been more time taking to figuring out why she'd spaced out like that, but as soon as she was focused again they kept on.

Josephine had felt the influence of the Ring before, but it hadn't ever made her hallucinate. Was it the forest making her see and hear things? Or…could it have been both? Mirkwood was under Sauron's influence, did the two feed off each other?

None of the dwarves had seemed to have the same experience she'd had, nor did she remember any of them having it in the future. But then again, they didn't know the Ring was there, let alone what it was. Bilbo didn't even know what he had in his pocket, not really.

The hallucination wasn't wrong. Sauron was still in Dol Goldur, miles and miles from Mordor and Mount Doom. The gates would likely still be unmanned…Years of suffering, thousands of lives lost…All of them saved if she just flicked a little trinket into some lava. Maybe that was the real reason she was there after all? Just throw it in, destroy the Ring, and she'd show up back in Gondor.

Then in a second, she realized where her mind was going and slammed on the brakes. That damned Ring was trying it's damndest wasn't it? She took a deep breath, popped her neck, and rolled her shoulders. "Fine you little shit." She mumbled under her breath. "If you're gonna fuck around in my head then you have to deal with the whole package."

It wasn't an ideal solution, and it would be stuck in her head without relief for days, but the Ring fucked around so it was about to find out.

Just low enough to keep her voice engaged and to avoid drawing attention, she started singing to herself. "My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours. Damn right, it's better than yours…"

The days continued to pass and she was starting to wonder if they'd ever get out, if time was really moving at all, until they reached the river and the broken stone bridge.

"We could swim across." Nori suggested as they looked mournfully at the bridge.

"And if you lived, Gandalf would beat you to death with his staff." Josephine told him wryly.

"These vines look sturdy enough!" Kili called from over to their right, getting ready to start trying them out.

"No!" Thorin snapped. "The lightest goes first."

All eyes turned on Bilbo who paled but gave them a light nod. "Right. Won't be but a moment."

He reached for the first vine, took one step, and the whole thing started cracking. Dwalin was barely able to snag Bilbo by the collar before the whole thing broke away and they were left right back where they started.

"Well." She grumbled. "That wasn't supposed to happen." So the movie version wasn't working out so well. Which meant their next option was a nonexistent boat. Fanfuckingtastic.

"I find little comfort in your surprise." Thorin told her.

"Yeah, me neither. Check on the far bank, see if there's a boat tethered anywhere."

"A boat?" Gloin scoffed. "Are ye out of ye'r mind? We would've seen one already."

"Except we all have contact highs from this damn river so we're off our rockers." She argued. "Boat!" she waved her hands like an exasperated mother trying to shoo her children out of the way. "Go! Look!"

They spread out along the bank, peering across the river while she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked fearfully at the broken vines. Two days ago would they have been strong enough to hold them? Had their delay cost them in the forest just like she'd worried?

But then, a couple minutes later, Dori let out a hoot. "I found it!"

A couple hundred feet down the river from the bridge there was a small boat caught on tree roots that were jutting into the water on their side of the river. The frayed end of a rope hung from the prow, pulled loose at some point from the mooring. They were lucky the light current hadn't carried it off beyond their reach.

"Bring it back up to the bridge." Thorin instructed as Dori stepped carefully along the roots to attach a new rope.

Now, if she could just keep Bombur from touching the water…maybe they could make up some of their lost time and avoid any more issues.

Kili shot an arrow trailing another rope into a tree on the opposite bank and Thorin used it to pull him and Bilbo across. Still holding the rope connected to the boat, Dori drew it back. They went over in pairs, her and Fili, then Kili and Ori, and so on until Bombur was the last. No white stag charged through the forest, it was just as still and silent as every day before. Bombur made it to shore with no incident and they continued on.

Day in and day out they started to stumble more than walk. Her ears were muffled like she was underwater but on and on they went. At some point she realized there was no more stone under her boots. The path was gone. It had left them…no…they had left it…

White webs washed out the dark trees around them and her head was swimming.

"Meleth nin…"

Her head snapped to her left and made her dizzy but she knew that voice. "Aragorn?"

"Josephine hiril nin…"

There it was again, this time on her right.

She smiled and reached out to pat the arm of Dwalin who was behind her. "Don't worry…" She droned slowly. "He'll lead us out."

About to step off into the trees on her right, his voice moved and again came from her left.

"This way, Josephine."

Tripping over her own feet she turned to follow, stopped sharply when her arm caught on something.

"There's no one there, lass." Dwalin mumbled, his arm hooked through hers.

Aragorn seemed to disagree. "I'm over here, Josephine. Come to me." He was hidden by the trees, of course Dwalin couldn't see him.

"No, no he'll lead us out of here, he knows these paths." She wrenched her arm free and tripped forward, landing hard on her hands and feet. Her palms stuck to white webs woven thickly over the trunks around her and adrenaline shot through her limbs.

Webs. Webs were bad.

"Dwalin…"

He was already heaving her back to her feet as she stared at the webs.

"We're spies…the flinders…" She shook her head and stumbled over her words as they rushed to get out, the spike in adrenaline was starting to clear her head. "Spiders! Dwalin, we're flies-"

Leaves rustled above them menacingly and Josephine hesitantly looked up. Layer upon layer of webs crossed the branches and between them dark masses skittered. Around them the company wandered, slowly disappearing behind trees and not coming back out. It was quiet, they were gone without a word or scream.

And then her feet came out from under her, her head hit the ground, and there was only darkness.

Josephine woke up again bound in webs and swinging lazily from a tree branch. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take a deep breath, somehow easier to do from that height than down on the forest floor below. She could hear the spiders around her, moving and spinning and hissing in the darkness.

Nope.

Nope!

Give her orcs. Give her trolls. Hell she'd almost take the Nazgul over spiders. That was one of the bright sides of everything she'd been subjected to during the War. At least she hadn't had to meet Shelob.

But now she was around a dozen of them and maybe if she just didn't look it wouldn't be so bad…

She shuffled her arms around, trying to bend one towards her back to reach the hilt of Aragorn's knife. So confined, the movement pinched the skin on her back and it burned, picking tears in her eyes.

Somewhere in the distance something knocked in the trees, drawing the spiders from their feast. If that was Bilbo they were in luck. If it wasn't…they were probably fucked.

Large bodies moved past her, jostling her where she hung and making her whole body tense up. Never fucking again. Not one foot in this damn forest ever again.

A loud bang came from the forest floor and then it was followed by grunts and grumbles and finally, a friendly voice whispered to her.

"Don't you worry Josephine, I'll have you down in a moment." Bilbo assured her.

Several bits of web were cut and she felt herself sliding down softly onto the musty ground she'd suddenly found an affinity for. The dwarves were tearing through the webs holding them and Bofur's entire hat was still covered and plastered to his head as he worked to free her.

Most of them were starting to run the moment their legs were free and she tried to follow Bofur, but it was too late. The spiders who had gone to investigate the sound were coming back, swarming in uncountable numbers over the ground and the trees.

Josephine drew her sword, hand shaking in a way it hadn't in battle in ages. Her shoulder stretched and pulled at the barely scarred skin, tight and new.

The dwarves yelled and hacked at spider limbs, getting drawn further and further apart as their foes lured them off on their own to capture again.

"Fuck!" She yelped as she narrowly missed the swipe of one of their legs and hacked it off. "WHY SPIDERS, TOLKIEN?" Another spider and another limb gone. "WHY?"

The battle was in pure chaos, everyone was yelling and you couldn't make out what anyone was saying. They couldn't get captured by the elves fast enough she thought as her blade sank into one of too many eyes.

A spider landed between her and the others and pushed her back, trying to separate her like everyone else. Her back ached and burned, making her slow and a leg curled around her knees and pulled her to the ground. She landed hard on her back, falling too fast to brace herself. The pain flared and spots filled her vision only to clear and find one of the spiders snapping towards her face. She kicked up at its abdomen and wrapped her hands around its pincers to try and fend it off.

This fight was going on far longer than she'd thought it was supposed to and she was beginning to wonder if she'd been right all along. Had her rest put them behind? Was Legolas and his hunting party long gone? Did they not make up enough time by not having to carry Bombur?

With the pincers creeping closer and closer to her neck she took a deep breath and let out one desperate scream. "LEGOLAS!"

If he showed up, she'd worry about explaining herself later. If he didn't…it wasn't likely to matter.

Not in the position to expect she'd get help anytime soon, she pushed up against the pincers, using the spider's momentum towards her to slide herself down under it. Hands finally free, she twisted, pulled Aragorn's knife from under her, and sliced it in several ragged jerks through the spider's body.

Then suddenly, while its legs nearly closed around her something came out of the trees and pushed its body away. A flash of pale blonde hair flew by her and it was bolstering enough to get her back to her feet and ready for the next foe.

Several of the dwarves were drowsy and wrapped in silk again and the spiders were thick. Arrows flew from the trees and Legolas spun with his bow in his hands.

Josephine fell into step with him with a comforting familiarity, taking up her sword in her other hand and slicing at spiders that came from behind him while he fought from behind her.

Two spiders came at her at once and while her blades sliced into the one closest to her she yelled for Legolas again to catch the second. She ducked under his shot as he turned and let loose an arrow into it, it stinger only feet from her.

One by one the spiders fell, either to arrows or blades. Finally the clearing became quiet, littered with the curled bodies of spiders and the remaining company who were now freeing the others.

Josephine turned back to Legolas to find his dagger resting against her throat. He looked down his nose at her with cold eyes, an entirely different person from the prince that would teach her so patiently later.

"I do not know your name, but you have called mine. So explain." He used the tip of the blade to tilt up her chin.

That time where she'd have to explain had come. "A Seer knows many names, including yours, Legolas Greenleaf." Oh yes, very mystical. He'd probably pick on her about it when she got home.

"A Seer?" He sneered, looking around at the dwarves who were quickly being herded into a group behind her. "Traveling with dwarves I would say more likely a thief, or perhaps a whore."

Oh he was never going to hear the end of this.

"Oi!" Bofur yelled. "Don't you be speakin' of Lady Josephine like that!"

"Lady?" Legolas said skeptically. "That remains to be seen." He sheathed his dagger and grabbed her sword and knife from her hand. "Search them."

"Dick." She mumbled under her breath, though he definitely heard her even if he ignored the comment as he joined the others in searching the dwarves.

"What's this?" He said, holding something of Gloin's in his hand. "Some sort of goblin mutant?"

"That's mah wee lad, Gimli!" Gloin answered angrily.

Josephine relented tiredly as her sword belt was taken and picked the webbing off of her clothes and out of her hair. The elves made quick work of the dwarves' weaponry and Orcist was handed to Legolas who looked it over with surprise. Then his eyes turned angry again and he looked down at Thorin.

"Where did you get this?"

"It was given to me." Thorin hissed.

"Not just another thief," Legolas said, turning the tip of the blade toward Thorin. "But a liar as well." He snapped to the rest of his hunting party to take them and waited behind her as they were lined up two by two.

"Payback's a bitch." She grumbled threateningly, hoping somewhere in the future he remembered her words.

Legolas pushed her forward with a sharp hand on her back and she flinched, feeling pain radiate like electricity out from the spot he'd touched. That fall and the fight hadn't done her any favors.

She was sure he'd noticed, but she wasn't so sure she cared. Though he didn't touch her back again and instead grasped her by the arm and placed her in front of him, at the very back of the line as they began to walk.