Trigger Warning:
- sexual assault
- mention of drugging
Ten bleeding hells and all their denizens!
My body aches as though I just climbed ten thousand steps to a temple on top of a mountain.
And I have to traverse that many steps down, too.
Just the effort into opening my eyes takes a toll on me. Even better, the second I manage to, the brightness of the colors stings. Immediately, I have to close them again. This time, I try to sit up. That fails, too. I end up rolling off the bed.
Wait. Sit up? Bed?
Perhaps the knock on the back of the head once I fall or the dull headache in the forehead stirs some sense of awareness in me. I try to open my eyes again. The vibrancy does not hurt so much anymore. Glancing around, I make note of my surroundings.
Beige and cream aesthetics. Tatami flooring. Bamboo stalk in the corner. Paper panels for windows on a sliding door. No mosquito net around the bed. Spacious and cozy. Nothing like my bedroom at the boarding house or the Hanada mansion. Everything like Shouto's. What am I doing in Shouto's room? Am I at the dormitory?
I try to recollect the events of last night. It was my debutante party. Shouto and I smuggled my belongings into a car. Within the rose labyrinth, we eavesdropped on Miyamoto-san and his lackeys planning something nefarious. The arthritic flare. Toast. Dance. Everything else after that is a blank space in my memory.
Toast … That's right. My drink smelled and tasted odd.
It would not be farfetched to assume that Hanada-sama laced the liquid with a date-rape drug. He has an alliance with Miyamoto-san, and it would not be the first time he drugged me to make me compliant for his clients. Which means that Shouto must have rescued me and brought me here. This is not the boarding house, I realize as well. The rooms there are not nearly this big. So I must be resting at the Todoroki home.
An IV is attached to my arm, and so are many other pieces of medical equipment, confirming what I had already suspected. There is a pager resting atop the nightstand. I press it.
Moments later, people come rushing in. Nurses who lift back onto the bed. Doctors who check my vitals. They ask how I'm feeling. I tell them the truth: like a living corpse. That elicits a snort from one or two of them. They perform tests to determine whether I am capable of regular function. One nurse passes me a pair of nitrile gloves, having already been informed of my scar insecurity. When I try to ask them about what happened to me, their expressions become guarded. They tell me to ask the Todorokis because it was Endeavor Oji-san who brought them here. When they are content with what they find, they remove the plugs and wires connecting me to the machines.
Finally, the person I was hoping to see the most comes into the room: Shouto.
The instant he sees me sitting upright, he storms up to my side and embraces me tight. Fingers dig into my back. Face snuggles against the slope of my neck. Our heartbeats become one rapid tandem. Our breaths palpable fast rhythms. "I couldn't sleep at all last night. Thank goodness you're awake. Are you feeling better? Any problems? I can call the doctors back if you want."
My body is weak, but I manage to reciprocate the hug. "No," I murmur, combing back the unruly locks of his hair. "I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you. Get some rest." Though he does not look at me, I can feel him shake his head. He mutters how much he had done and how much more he has to do. "Then can you tell me what happened after the dance? The subsequent events are a vacant spot."
Tentatively, he does. He explains how the drug had coursed through my system, and he pulled me away from the dance floor to a bench. Hanada-sama had interfered, made the butler take me to the spare bedroom while he exchanged veiled threats with Shouto. I watch his features become more reluctant with each passing sentence. What occurred afterward must not have been pleasant, but I have to learn the truth. Squeezing his hand, I urge him to continue. Shouto narrates that he sneaked to the bedroom by the same route I had guided him to. There, he found me in the middle of an assault, unconscious and hurt. A scuffle ensued between him and the five scoundrels. I'm particularly pleased to learn that he incapacitated three people and handicapped the fourth. After retrieving Kimura-san's phone, he found me drowning in the bathtub. I was hypothermic by then. Shouto wrapped me up in his clothes, confronted the butler, and took me to the car. He tried warming me up as best as possible during the ride, his father summoned a team of doctors, and my treatment lasted the entire night.
By the time Shouto finishes, he is trembling with guilt.
"Love," I whisper. "Look at me." Slowly, he raises his head. But he is unable to meet my eyes. So I cup his face and study the light scratches that mark his cheeks. I press a light kiss to one of them. "You protected me. That's all that matters to me, Shouto. The drugging, the rape attempt, the hypothermia … you rescued me, ultimately. You're constantly telling me that I apologize for things that are not my fault, but I think you the same applies to you.
"Remember that day Hanada-sama called me to warn me about the party? You made two demands from me. The first that if someone harmed you, you had the right to extricate me from the situation; the second that you could exact vengeance toward Miyamoto-san. And I accepted your terms. Love, you accomplished both."
He tucks back a tendril of my dark locks behind my ear and chuckles sadly. "Aren't you the slightest bit hurt?"
"I am," I reply without hesitation. "But not because of you. Never because of you. It's because of what Hanada-sama did to me. What Miyamoto-san did to me. Shouto, this isn't the first time I've been intoxicated and taken advantage of. Truth be told, some of the fault lies with me. I should have been more careful when sipping. Perhaps then you would not have had to experience that trauma. But you would scold me if I apologized for that, so I'll say something else instead. Thank you for saving me."
His laugh is a bit stronger this time. "How do you always know exactly what to say?"
I kiss a wound on his other cheek. "Because I know you better than I know myself."
Shouto escorts me from the bed to the attached bathroom. My toothbrush, soap, other toiletries, and a fresh set of clothes are waiting for me inside. He tells me to freshen up while he informs his family that I have recovered. "By the way, Tsukauchi-san and Sasaki-san are here, too. For your statement."
I nod before closing the door. While I take care of my personal hygiene, I contemplate what I should say to Shouto's father and siblings. Understandably, they seek answers to uncomfortable questions. Has he already told them of his idea of letting me stay? Did they agree? What sort of impression do they have of me? They must also be curious about Sasaki-san. He is my lawyer, but how does Shouto know that? That is definitely one of the questions that will arise.
Even after I finish showering and change into a new outfit, my doubts have no clear resolution. Shouto selected an ensemble of Egyptian blue trousers, dove grey dress shirt, complete with waistcoat, gloves, and choker. Interview clothing, and I have the distinct sensation that is precisely what my discussion with the Todoroki family is going to be. My silver faerie ear shells rest on a handkerchief on the sink counter. The last bit of armor I need to face the situation headstrong. Below the napkin is a folded note. I open it. It reads, I polished your cane. You'll find it leaning against the wall next to the door. Also, I brought your suitcases inside and chose what you would feel most comfortable wearing. Hope you don't mind me rummaging through your stuff like that. See you for breakfast. I could recognize that handwriting anywhere.
First waking up in his bedroom … then him picking an outfit that screams respect … now this note … it continues to marvel me how caring Shouto can be toward someone like me. I have done nothing to warrant such kindness. So I owe it to him to support him in whichever I can. Since consoling Shouto, I had been preoccupied with myself and my problems. I had neglected that he is equally entangled. From his father's point of view, his son and son's friend were supposed to return to the dormitories last night. Instead, three crimes occurred. Our destination changed. A covert operation had to be arranged, police inquiries had to be answered, and an unknown lawyer arrived. It is my responsibility to share the stress with Shouto.
True to his letter, my dragon cane gleams beside the door frame. The smooth surface worn from years of use is the final attachment required to complete my armor suit. Although, it is juxtaposed with the set of fuzzy home slippers, I feel ready. I can do this. The self-affirmation is hollow.
I leave the room and turn right. From the only time I was here, I remember that the dining room is straight down the corridor then left. Immediately, the aroma of cardamom and fenugreek greets my nose. Fuyumi-san arranges seven placemats on a large dinner table. Floor cushions are equally spaced around the perimeter. Meanwhile, her brother Natsuo-san doles out portions of meals into bowls. Shouto assists him by setting the bowls onto seven large plates, complete with chopsticks and napkins. Occupying the sofas are Endeavor Oji-san, Sasaki-san, and Tsukauchi-san. They appear to be in deep discussion. Presumably about Shouto and me.
Which is exactly why I should make my presence known.
Three polite coughs. It is enough for the six people to swivel their heads in my direction unanimously. "Good morning, everyone."
Everyone responds to the greeting in various levels of enthusiasm. But it is Sasaki-san and Shouto who are the most relieved to see me up and about. In fact, Sasaki-san rises from his seat on the sofa and moves toward me. He ushers me to follow him down the corridor I just came from. Confused, I do as he says. Once he is convinced I am healthy enough, he chronicles the events that ensued while the doctors treated me.
"Shouto-kun called me here so I could guide him in giving his police statement. In short, he told Tsukauchi-san every detail from last night. But because his father was present, we had to explain your previous assault." He pauses for a moment to let the implications sink in. None of it is good. Taking my silence for assent, he continues, "However, it is your testimony that will really push the investigation. After all, the victim has the right to decide whether to pursue or rescind the case."
"I would like the investigation to occur," I declare without a gram of hesitation.
Sasaki-san nods, clearly pleased with my determination. Then, "Questions arose about me. My involvement with Shouto-kun. Being your legal representative. My role in the scandal. I tried answering their queries honestly while respecting your privacy, but it had minimal effect. Shouto-kun told me that he wanted to arrange for you to stay at his home during breaks and weekends while the trials commence. For that, you, Selene, need to win the trust of every member of the Todoroki household."
In other words, I have to discuss Hanada-sama's financial crimes, his sons' behavior toward me, and my history of abuse. I must lay bare the secrets of the Hanada manor and its residents.
What Sasaki-san is saying is true, but I am reluctant to agree to it. Thus far, my past is something that Shouto deduced by himself because I was too much of a coward to reveal it. Now, I am expected to delve into every dark detail so that the Todorokis do not think I am some sort of conwoman. His family certainly will not be pleased to hear what the youngest son has been doing. They will be pleased even less when they learn it was for my sake. Still, I owe them many favors. The least I can do is by shouldering the blame.
Swallowing audibly, I make my choice. "All right. There is no alternative."
"They pitied you when they learned about Miyamoto. Have hope, Selene. I don't think they will resent you as much as you think."
We'll see.
After we formulate my statement together, Sasaki-san returns to the dining room. He comes back shortly afterward with Shouto, Endeavor Oji-san, and Tsukauchi-san in tow. Our little group of five is led by Oji-san, who directs us to his home office. Once inside, I relay my version of the story to the detective. Up until where my memory vanishes, the testimony matches that of Shouto's.
"In late March, one of the girls had taken a blackmail video of you, right?" he asks when he has finished recording. I affirm. "Luckily, Shouto-kun brought it with him, fingerprints intact. It also shows footage of what happened to you while you were unconscious. If you like, I can play it for you."
Behind me, Shouto places his hand on my shoulder. A silent assurance that no matter my decision, he will support me. I'm grateful for that. "Have all of you watched both videos?"
Varying degrees of confirmation resonate from the people in the room. Shouto's siblings have already seen them, too. "Then I am ready. Please show me."
So Tsukauchi-san opens his tablet to the Photos app (he must have transferred the videos to his own device as backup) and plays the first recording. It is of that evening in the forest. Watching myself cry, shriek, and resist to no avail gouges fresh scabs anew. Then he plays the second video. I see Miyamoto open my dress before biting hard into my back. Immediately, the red marks where his teeth razed my body burn. As though their pain had been delayed until now. I had noticed them in the bathroom mirror. Now they were unignorable. I find myself reaching for Shouto's hand and pressing it. The video continues, demonstrating the battles between Shouto and the other perverts. They are recorded by trembling hands. Finally, he confronts Kimura-san, scares her, and seizes the phone. I listen to the following argument and observe the intentional mutilation of Miyamoto-san's lower limbs. A depraved sense of satisfaction simmers inside me at his screams. It is short-lived, though. The footage ends with Shouto pulling me out of the bathtub.
I pass the tablet back to Tsukauchi-san and take a deep breath. Many deep breaths. Old wounds were cut into again. New lacerations have appeared, too. People reminisce on memories with fondness or yearning. They do not realize how much of a luxury that is. Why cannot I afford the same?
"What are the next steps?" I ask, trying to change the subject to more important matters.
"Well, these videos are concrete evidence. Enough to rusticate the five students from U.A. and have them serve time in juvenile detention. Although, the severity of their crimes will carry over to prison sentences. Shouto-kun will likely face a fine of a few thousand yen because his act toward the end of the fight was not out of self-defense. It's confirmed that your guardian was involved in orchestrating these crimes, but Sasaki-san has reminded me that you want his role to not be the focus of the sexual assault trial." I nod. "In that case, it's best you avoid any contact with your guardian. Stay away from home, too."
At that, I bring out my phone. I had found it on the bedside table as the pager and shut off. "Because my old phone is still in your custody, Hanada-sama had this one parceled to me. You may have it, too."
He shakes his head. "You will need contact with allies. I cannot take it."
But I am equally stubborn. Just as polite as earlier but a little more vehement, I insist, "There is only one contact on this phone, and it belongs to precisely the person you told me to avoid. Hanada-sama studies my calls, messages, acquaintances, and locations. Please keep it."
His sigh is all the indication needed to show he agrees to my terms. It is impossible to argue against that logic. Reluctantly, he opens a plastic zip bag and beckons for me to place the smartphone in there. He pleads with me again to reconsider.
It is then that Shouto intervenes. "I'll buy her a new one. With all your numbers, my siblings', and mine. The money fraud and joint rape-and-murder cases are going to take a while, so I imagine that her schedule will be packed with hearings."
"What do you mean, a new phone? It's my money you're spending, Shouto. Remember that," Endeavor Oji-san warns.
"I know, Dad. But I will be spending your hard-earned cash on a noble cause, which indirectly means you will be supporting a grand purpose. Good reputation for your image," Shouto counters.
Sasaki-san, Tsukauchi-san, and I watch this argument like children watching parents fight. Quiet so the argument does not shift directions toward them. Intrigued because external drama is always fun to watch. Eyes switching back and forth at the speaker to not miss a detail. Perhaps the most important reason is that none of us have a clue what to do.
Should I speak up? I should probably speak up. What am I going to say, though? If I have nothing to say, I should remain silent. But Shouto is arguing for my sake. Should I speak up? And just like that, my thought process circles back to the origin. Again. And again. And again.
Oji-san finally has had enough. For a second, his flame mustache and beard ignite on his face before defusing. "Why are you so adamant on going to such lengths?" he hisses.
"Because she is going to be our houseguest, father," Shouto replies coolly.
The flames reappear. Stronger. Brighter. They almost singe the ceiling. Oji-san rises from his place behind the desk, emphatically expressing his tumultuous emotions with a slam to the wooden surface.
"WHAT!"
Important lesson of the day: when the universe wants you to do something, it will give you so many indications until you are forced to do it.
Apparently, the universe decided that I would be its puppet for the day.
Because how else do I describe this situation where the seven of us congregate around a central table, sitting in uneasy silence as the food grows cold. The arrangement is such that Endeavor Oji-san occupies the head seat, and I sit on the cushion opposite of him. He gazes at me; I gaze at him. An unspoken staring contest ensues. The loser will be the first to speak up.
Under Oji-san's scrutinizing glare, I am the first to blink. Besides, it is impolite for the guest to challenge the host in their own home. My objective is to not make enemies out of the Todorokis. Against my better judgment, I am halfway there achieving the opposite with Oji-san. Best not to go to completion.
"What I am about to say …" I begin, "It will make you lose your appetite, so I leave it to you whether to listen to my story and vomit afterward or listen to my story and reheat breakfast for later."
My introduction must have been foreboding enough because no one reaches for the chopsticks.
Inhaling deeply before I begin, my frazzled nerves settle down just a bit. From violently pulsating to constant vibrating. Starting from the murders on New Years, I describe everything that happened since then. Save for the Paranormal Liberation Army details, of course. And the prostitution. The rapes. The scars. What I tell them is Hanada-sama's abuse, my inheritance, Sasaki-san's purpose, Shouto's proposition, Aunt Ahearn's inclusion, Tsukauchi-san's help, and the covert case file. Shouto adds in necessary information from time to time. The brief smiles he passes my way give me the strength to keep going.
I observe that despite all the issues the Todorokis have with another, they are united under the emblem of an intriguing tale by an outsider. Morbidly raptured by the story woven, the family latches onto every word as though my life was a movie displayed at the wide screens of a theater. I cannot decide if that is meant to be a praise or an insult. Because as I relay, my own past flashes through my mind like the pages of a book. A not-so-distant memory of that library nightmare unwillingly surfaces again and again, compelling me to pause a moment each time before resuming.
By the time I finish, steam has stopped rising from the miso soup and sogginess marks the tamagoyaki. Indeed, no one is in much of a mood to eat. Those who are hearing the story for the first time and those who are familiar with my past. The quietude this time is heavier with agitation than it was earlier. My, my. People should take lessons from me about how to make a negative atmosphere even worse. So much for diplomatic abilities.
"And this is why I want her to stay with us," Shouto breaks the silence. His tone is carefully controlled. Not depicting the moroseness, revealing every level of seriousness. "Until the court cases are over, I would like her to live someplace where she is not at risk of being harmed."
This cannot be any easier for him as it is for me. Support him as best as you can, Selene.
I rise from my seat, only to take a step back and bow to the ground. I get on my hands and knees and touch my forehead to the floor. It is an apology. A deep, heartfelt proclamation of my regrets. For the first time, I am operating without personal motivations. Last month when I met Fujiwara-san, I had gotten on my knees and said sorry. But that was with the knowledge that he was Sasaki-san's son-in-law and his witness statement was crucial to the court case. Now – just for a few moments – I possess no ulterior motives. I am being neither prideful nor manipulative. The family deserves a proper apology, and that is all there is to it.
A gulp of saliva echoes throughout the room. "My secrecy has caused countless problems for all of you. Especially after last night. My alliance with Shouto has potentially endangered you, and for that, I am truly remorseful. Please direct your anger toward me and not him. I understand if you would like me to stay away henceforth but know that I am indebted. You were generous to bestow your hospitality upon me. I will do everything in my power to repay that kindness." Though the speech is concluded, I make no move to rise up.
That is until Oji-san coughs with a hint of begrudging admiration. "Get up," he commands gruffly.
So I do.
His two other children seem uncomfortable from the gesture. Fuyumi-san shakily laughs, telling me not to take the ordeal too seriously. Natsuo-san-san mutters something along the lines of that he was simply adhering to the Hippocratic Oath. Shouto is the most unimpressed. His narrow eyes and contorted frown reveal his displeasure. "Earlier you said that you wouldn't apologize. Now you turned back on that statement. Don't guilt-trip yourself. No one blames you."
I shake my head. "Since the day you explained your idea of letting me live in your home, I had been constantly wondering how your family might react, Shouto. Thousands of scenarios played through my mind. In every one of them, the answer was no. I respect your attempt, but there is no way they would agree to this scheme. Frankly speaking, if I were in their place, neither would I.
"So I am making an offer. Please allow me to stay at your home for the duration of the trials. I have no intention of being a burden on you. I promise to honor your benevolence in all manners possible. Any number of favors would be fall short of what all of you have done for me, but I will try nonetheless."
This stirs an uproar. Shouto scolds me for making pushing shop curtains with arms. Sasaki-san interferes, vouching for my loyalty. Fuyumi-san tries to calm Shouto down, while Natsuo-san mutters something about reheating breakfast. He is quick to flee. Tsukauchi-san is also clever. He makes an excuse about returning to work and heads to the powder room. That leaves Endeavor Oji-san, who scrutinizes me the way a scientist would observe a specimen.
"Quiet!" he shouts. The effect is instantaneous. Immediately, everyone's mouth closes, and they return to their seats. A presence fitting for the country's top hero. Then, he calls out my name. "Hanada Selene."
"Yes, Oji-san?"
"Surely you of all people comprehend the unstable precipice upon which the powerful reign. I put decades' worth of effort into rising to this station, and I will not condone all of that being ruined. I will not stand for my children being put into unnecessary trouble, either." I open my mouth to do just that, but he lifts his hand. An unspoken order for me to remain silent. "Because my son advocates for you, I give you and Shouto seven days. Convince me that you deserve to live under the protection of the Todoroki family."
That's it. End of discussion. Shouto wants to protest, but he must have reached the same conclusion I did. Do not push the issue any further.
Some time later, everyone reconvenes for a very late breakfast. No one voices it, but the tenuous conversation looms over everyone's head. We pretend that it does not exist. By evening, Sasaki-san and Tsukauchi-san take their leave. Endeavor Oji-san informs that he will personally escort Shouto and me to the boarding house. He has also agreed to keeping watch of my luggage for one week.
During the car ride, Shouto intertwines his little finger with mine.
I squeeze it.
We'll get through this together, I promise him.
Problem is, I have a bad history of breaking promises.
My intuition tells me that I will be dishonoring this one soon.