Chapter 25: The one where I want Harry's pants.

Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers.

CHAPTER 24

I stormed out of the compartment. Fuck him! He thinks he knows everything; he thinks he can dictate how I should be feeling. He knows nothing. I'm fine; he is the one that needs to get his head out of his ass. I mean nothing happened!

There are girls in this world that have been raped and molested and abducted and kept as sex slaves, all that happened to me was a little altercation with a demented oaf. I can't stand people like him, up in their ivory towers, protesting against the horrors of the world when they haven't even had one thing in their life go wrong. Ok, maybe that was exaggerated, but there's truth to it. Why did he have to be the one that walked in on the blasted situation! He just better keep his mouth shut or I will-

"Hey! Here's a fucking thought. Why don't you use those two globes jutting out of your fucked up face and watch where the fuck you're going!" It came out of my mouth before my brain finished processing it. The blonde boy who had bumped me looked shocked for a nanosecond, but he schooled his face into nonchalance quickly, probably learnt that in the Beginners Guide to Prickery, the prequel to Advanced DoucheBaggery.

"I believe it was you who had walked into me. Maybe you should take up your own advice; then again those are more like light houses jutting out of your face than globes."

Oh wow, make a jab at my big eyes, how rakish of you.

I didn't need a reminder of who this boy was. He was the boy I had introduced myself to at the World Cup. Of course, that was just to antagonise his father at the time…two shadows loomed in front of me, and I couldn't help but think of Tweedledee and Tweedledumb. They were cracking their knuckles menacingly at me and I cocked my eye at the blonde buffoon.

"Won't you call your jesters off, your highness? I don't have time to play." He looked at me in confusion. Oh of course, pureblood supremacist, muggle references fly right over their heads. The taller of the two took a step forward. Malfoy just gave me another lazy look and turned around and walked away,

"Come Goyle. She isn't worth the amount of Mrs Skower's we'd have to use to get rid of her stench on your hands."

"Oh sweet, do you three have a bath together often. Or is it just a weekly thing?" He stopped and turned around.

"It seems that associating with Granger hasn't only polluted your skin, but your mouth as well." I smirked at him.

"Wow, a jab at Mi's blood. You're just so creative, aren't you? Must get that from dear old daddy. Probably inherited some other things from daddy too." I looked pointedly at his pants. "Wonder when you're going to start rocking a cane, nothing says overcompensation like-"I ducked to my left as a shot of red missed my cheek.

"Crabbe!" He hit the shorter one on the head.

"But she was-"

"I don't care for it; did I tell you to do that."

"Oooh Crabbe, looks like you're going to get a spanking. I believe that's my sign to take my leave, I'm not a peeper but I do advise taking your little S&M carnival act behind closed doors."

I smirked and turned and walked away, sure the pompous fool didn't understand half of what I said. I opened the compartment door, and it was like walking into a funeral. Ron's face was red, and he was looking out the window, Mi who was sitting next to him kept giving him nervous glances and Harry didn't look like he was as fuming as Ron, but he did look a shade redder than when I last saw him.

I dropped into the seat next to him and swung my feet up between Ron and Mi. She seemed to realise I just walked in,

"Where were you?""

"Here, there, everywhere. Ron?"

He turned and gave me an annoyed look and I smiled back at him. "Want to teach me wizard's chess?"

"I'm not particularly in the mood Ky." He turned and looked out the window again.

"That's OK. Potter, you teach me." Harry gave me a quizzical look and Ron turned around.

"Fine, fine I'll teach you." He got out the chess board and Harry gave him an affronted look.

"I know how to play chess! I could teach her."

"I know you know how to play mate. But that doesn't mean you're any good at it."

Hermione chipped in, "He's got a point Harry."

Harry rounded on her, "Oh and when did you ever manage to beat him. And I'm not the cleverest in the year so I'm expected to lose. What's your excuse?"

"I cannot believe you said that. I do not have time to waste learning to play frivolous little games. I spend my time learning and-"

"Check mate." I looked at Ron who was smiling down at me. He was good. I was never into chess, too much concentration involved. "Again?"

A few checkmates later, Mi said it was time to change into our uniform. I shot up excitedly and grabbed my bag, "Beat it boys." Ron chuckled and Harry rolled his eyes and left. Mi looked at me amused.

"What? I've never worn a uniform before. I don't even really know what it looks like considering Minnie ordered them for me whilst we were at the-"I stopped and stared at the opened bag. Mi came over,

"Oh, don't worry. Once you get put into a house all the plain stuff would change to your house colour." I picked up the offending article,

"It's a skirt."

Mi laughed at me, "Yes. Of course, it is, what were you expecting? And you don't have a problem showing your legs!"

"No, it's not the showing off of the legs that I'm peeved about, it's the having to keep them together!" Mi looked at me in shock!

"KY!"

"Oh no not like that Mi. You see how I sit….! Oh, she is devious. This is just another one of Minnie's 'make Ky a lady or die trying 'schemes. She's been going on about how I sit for weeks, but it never mattered before because my knickers were always protected by a nice layer of pants. Now I'll probably have to sit…with my legs crossed or something like that! Or with them together and poignantly to the side like you do!" Mi was laughing at the horrified look on my face.

"Calm down. Yes, you do have to sit in a more dignified manner, which is probably about time you do start doing so. No more hoisting your leg up onto any object in front of you or slouching! But its ok, because you can wear stockings; I mean its pouring outside so you can't exactly go bare legged. Wait Ky, where are you going?"

I crossed the room and knocked on the compartment opposite ours. I didn't wait for a reply, and I opened the door with a hand over my eyes. There was a round of "Hey's" and a very Irish swear word I couldn't even repeat.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, I can't see a thing. And how sad I am seeing as there's a room full of fourteen-year-old muscle men in my presence, I'm here for Potter."

There was a chuckle and a smooth, deep voice saying, "Of course she is. All the girls after you mate."

"Shut up Dean, believe me, you don't want this one after you. Well, what do you want?"

"I want your pants."

"Oh my, straight to the point this lass is." The Irish voice said. I heard Harry take a deep breath, and I could smell that musky smell of his. It's weird how your other senses go on overdrive when you block out one.

"She's American, she means trousers. And I suppose I should just whip them off and hand them to you, no questions asked?"

"Now, now Potter. Reel yourself in. I need a spare pair. It seems Minnie thinks she's going to get one over me and I can't let that happen. I figured I could alter one of yours and wear it. And before you get ahead of yourself thinking, "She wants to get in my pants!" I was going to ask Ron but then he has got more of a manly figure, too much alteration to be done there."

I held up my hand in a fist which Ron bumped like I taught him to. There was a room full of laughter and then I felt someone turn me around and push me. I opened my eyes realising I was in the corridor, I turned and saw Harry's tousled hair jutting out the compartment, his bare chest hidden by the door,

"Yes Ky, that's how you get things from people. You insult them. You're not getting anywhere near these 'pants' so get acquainted with your new best friend, her name is skirt. Don't worry; she has your back…side."

"That might be the lamest thing I have ever heard Potter. I don't need your pants anyway!"

I turned and stormed into the compartment. I breathed for a second and then a sly smile came over my face as inspiration struck.

"I dare you to! Just to see! I bet your head is really actually very small! It'll be a right laugh. Come on Hagrid!" The gamekeeper I met just about thirty minutes ago gave me a hearty laugh.

"Oh, come now Ky, ye can't expec' me to shave my head!" His crinkled eyes shone down at me. "The one time I Ieave the castle during the Summer and Dumbledore's granddaughter shows up. I miss all the good pars' hey."

"Miss Thornton!" I looked up and saw Minnie at the Entrance Hall doorway, seems as if I lost track of time chatting with Hagrid.

I shot up the stairs, "Thanks for the boat ride here, Hagrid. See you guys in a bit."

I shot off to the room the firsts years had entered, and they all stopped talking abruptly and stared at me. I looked at the little guy that fell in the lake earlier on, the one with Hagrid's moleskin coat.

"Hey you." He looked at me, wide eyed. "Don't do that with your face, you look like a fish. When Minnie…Professor McGonagall comes to call you tell her that I'm just freshening up in the ladies' room and what not and I'll be a little late. Don't look like that, it's ok. I'm getting tested last anyway, so I won't be missing much. Hey, woah don't faint."

The boy was swaying from side-to-side muttering "I can't- she'll kill- rather –lake- drowns." A girl with shiny blonde hair straightened to perfection and who seemed to have dried herself off well, stepped in front of him.

"It's OK. I'll let Professor McGonagall know. I understand. I wouldn't be caught dead looking like that either. Go on, sort yourself out." She smiled sweetly up at me. I laughed at her and patted her back,

"Yeah, sure kid. You tell her that."

Fifteen minutes later I pushed open the Great Hall doors and walked in. I didn't look around at the sea of heads that snapped their heads in my direction, or the whispers. My eyes went straight to the centre stage, and I gave Nonno the biggest smile which he returned easily. He looked at me and shook his head and chuckled and I winked at him.

I looked to his left where, next to an empty seat sat a seething Sev. I smirked at him. He probably was trying to make the extremely short skirt I was sporting lengthen from the time I walked in here, but I managed to counter curse his little spell. The skirt was jinx-proof. Took a few minutes to figure it out hence the lateness. Oh, and there was that little popping vein that Ron loves to see.

I reached Minnie and smiled at her innocently, she was giving me the most disapproving look I ever saw her sport. My smile just got wider. Through a clenched jaw she said,

"Thornton, Kyrianna Ariana Kendra." I walked forward and gave her a quizzical look. I whispered to her,

"Er, so what do I have to do?"

"Well maybe if you waited like I instructed you to do, you would have received instructions like the rest. You're smart enough to put a permanent counter curse on that piece of cloth you're wearing so you're smart enough to figure it out."

I smiled at her, "Do you really want me to figure this out on my own. Fine. En garde!" I whipped out my wand and I smiled at her. "And now play fair. You seemed to have picked that hat as your weapon, and it's probably some diabolical piece of transfiguration so you can't use your wand." The hall was a roar of laughter, but I didn't mind, Sev's voice floated down from the main table,

"Minerva if you don't want to, I have no troubles with teaching Miss Thornton some manners."

Minnie actually looked like she was contemplating a duel, then she gave me another pointed glare,

"Sit" and she pointed to the stool next to her. I sat on it and pulled my skirt down. I wanted to prove a point not flash my knickers. A second later I was doused in darkness.

"My they have really gotten small!" A quiet voice echoed from the recesses of the dark. "I must admit I am quite astounded. It's not often that the first image a student has upon putting me on is a pair of what I can only assume is women's underwear."

I laughed at the voice, which had a bit of a mischievous edge that erred on the side of dark. "If you think those are bad, you should see the one my brother's fiancé uses. It's practically just three strings attached in a triangle. But she will state it's the classiest thing ever because it's Armani."

"Ahhhh, it seems little Giorgio has grown up to play dress up on women!"

"So, Giorgio Armani went here. Well people do say he is a wizard with clothes. So, who are you?"

"Oh yes, you missed my opening number. Quite upsetting, it's the highlight of the year, ask anybody. I am the Hogwarts sorting hat."

"Oooh and how does one go about applying for such a prestigious position?"

"Let's just say I was in the right place at the right time, the place being Godric's head and the time being a Founders meeting a thousand years ago."

"I must say Hat, age has done nothing but make you handsomer."

"No arguments here."

"So, what was old Godric like?"

"Hahahaha, he is actually exactly what you think. Except he was not that tall. And he had a much bigger beard. My my! Your mind is dirty!"

"Life is dirty! Not my mind! But is it true? Come now, share."

"No, it isn't true…wrong Founder."

"Oh dang, I was so sure him and Rowena were…wait! Wrong founder! Ahhhh, I knew it! That's why they had that whole fight! It was a lover's brawl. I can totally see them together though!"

"Hahahaha no no it wasn't Salazar either. See Salazar was definitely straight. He was actually quite the skirt chaser though he had weird tastes that one."

"Like?"

"Well aside from being a blood supremacist, he suffered from obsessive compulsions. One month he only lay with 5 foot 5-inch-tall witches and another where he'd only enjoy the company of elm wand users."

"Godric's sword! It was Helga then! And Salazar fell in love with her too! And that's what the fight was about!"

"Wrong again! Salazar and Helga were actually very good friends, nothing more. Didn't really start that way, but she was most vocal against his leaving. It really hurt Godric, he wasn't really the same afterwards… you see he and Salazar were friends since childhood. They met Helga later on."

"And Rowena?"

"Oh, with Helga of course. Helga was engaged to be married to Rowena's older brother but that didn't work out, the two remained friends though. Rowena herself never married, she decided to marry knowledge instead. What better way than starting a school."

"So, Rowena became something of a spinster?"

"Oh no! She was a woman much before her time. She never took a husband but had many lovers."

"You know it's always the nerdy ones hey. So, what happened with Godric and Helga?"

"They didn't last long."

"He dumped her?"

"No no she dumped him! He likes to pretend, but he was right heartbroken. I think his last thoughts were of her. Your great great great grandfather isn't going to be pleased I'm telling you all this. It's just such a change from wet behind the ear eleven-year-olds, year in and year out."

"There there Hat. It's not anything I wouldn't have suspected anyway, and Nonno knows what a…strange mind I have anyway. So how come I didn't see you in Nonno's office before!"

"I'm always there. Probably too busy staring at all the other fancy equipment and that bloody bird."

"Jealous of Fawkes, are we?"

"Jealous! Psht! Selfish creature I have ever met! Been trying to convince him to take me out for a little fly around the grounds for years, its nastily boring cooped up in that office. Mind you, he did take me out two years ago, but it was only to the dungeons, to Salazar's old lair. Of course, it was just to help Mr Potter…Oh my, now isn't that interesting. Want to decorate his photo with little hearts little missy?"

"I do not like Harry like that. He is just a friend."

"Hmmm, she can dish it out but not eat it. I don't blame you though; boys like that always get the girls. All deep and mysterious and Mr Potter…let's just say his future warrants a lass like you."

"Come now Hat, are you a seer as well as a poet. You need to ask for a raise."

"Indeed, I do. Good attempt at a change of subject though, unfortunately no bite. Now Mr Potter's got the allure, but Mr Diggory's definitely got the looks."

"Apple isn't even in the cards!"

"Ha! Then you admit Mr Potter is!"

"Fine I do admit I had a little crush on Harry. He was the first boy I bonded with. And I might have confused friendship with romantic feelings. But I definitely don't want to jeopardise our friendship by freaking him out. Plus, he's into another girl."

"Name?"

"Cho Chang."

"Ahh Ravenclaw. I sorted her five years ago. Older woman…. she is a pretty lass and smart. Nothing on you though missy. Want me to have a look at his head? Find out what's really going on in there. All you have to do is make a few jabs about me almost putting him in a different house and he'll run up to your granddad's office and shove me on his head faster than you can say 'pineapple.'"

"It's fine Hat, thanks for the offer. Speaking of Nonno-"

"He was just as easy a sort as you are. I bet the whole Great Hall is in a dither over this. Probably thinks you are the longest hat stall ever?"

"Is my mind much like his?"

"Kyrianna, your mind doesn't have to be similar to his. Neither does your looks. And let me tell you from thousand years of experience, family is more than just the people who raise you. Your brothers, gifted wizards they both are, will come around eventually. But you little missy, you have the rarest ability to forgive and let people in. And that is a trait that is definitely a Dumbledore gene. There will come a time when that ability to forgive will be put to test. Actually, life is one big test. But I know you will pass."

"Why?"

"Do you think I stop to chat to every student that puts me on? Your mind, ahh it is a beauty, Kyrianna. It's like a book I cannot put down, alas. Do visit? "

"Of course."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

A/N: I know that whole conversation with the Sorting Hat is a bit mental, but I actually liked writing it. Drop a Review to let me know what you think about it!

Kalina