Chapter 51: The one where he pulls me to the light.

Previously on Phoenix Accession:

"Nonno!" My voice pierced the air, out of breath and grating. "Harry! Cedric!"

And just like that the pain was back. The pins. The knives. The fire. I clutched at my skull, pulling my hair. That blood curdling scream again.

The last thing I saw was blue eyes. Blue eyes with no twinkle. And it all went black…

Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers.

Chapter 50

"Bastian. Blishwick…."

I muttered the words softly. My eyes slowly opened. Light seeped through. I saw the blurry outline of many figures. I searched for two. Just two. Slowly a figure near me came into view…. chocolate orbs laced with worry. I grabbed her hand. "Bastian. Blishwick."

I then looked around the room. I ignored everyone else. Searching for untidy black hair. Neat brown hair. And then I saw it.

He sat up in a hospital bed to my right. His green eyes looking at me with such pain. He slowly shook his head in the negative, a frown so deep on his face I was afraid nothing could invert it. I wasn't aware that I was muttering something and stopped.

"Harry. Cedric. Harry…. Cedric…. Harry…Ced-"

And then I saw him. Black hair, high cheek bones, aristocratic look. I grabbed for my wand from the side of the bed but grasped at air, I felt gentle hands pin me down and Li's voice.

"Stop Ky, the Old Man was just explaining that he's innocent. He's not guilty for killing those people or involved in Harry's parents murder."

I had eyes only for that man though, not sparing Li a glance. Then I saw it. Grey eyes. Not black. Grey. He was gaunt as well. Underfed. Shaggy. A strange expression on his face. Not once did he make a move to defend himself.

Sev stepped in front of him. His face blank but his black orbs dripping with emotion that he was keeping at bay. To the blind eye, he seemed nonchalant, uncaring. But I wasn't blind, after a year of knowing this man, I saw more of him than he allowed. I saw the slight clench of his jaw as he fought to keep his face impassive, I saw the tendons in his hands tighten… restraining himself from heaven knows what actions he was contemplating. I saw the rigidity of his stance, holding him in place, preventing him from coming towards me or fleeing…I saw it all. It was less painful to watch Sev's care than Harry's despair…

"Blishwick attacked you?" Sev spoke in his steady, deep baritone.

"No. Bastian. I didn't get his surname, but Blishwick called him Bastian."

I felt warmth around my shoulders that I never absorbed, keeping it away from myself yet feeling it at the same time. He was dead. Cold grey eyes assaulted my mind with a vice grip hold, torturing every crevice. I saw it all…and yet…that ever-present feeling that made a hot burning hatred churn in my stomach…that feeling of…

"She needs rest." I felt, rather than heard Linus' voice as his chest trembled against my ear.

"NO!"

I screamed at Li. His face becoming so blurry, the only thing still in focus was the concerned blue eyes turning red as I spoke. Red and empty. Grey and cold...

Everybody's face was blurry, and I felt someone rubbing soothing circles across my back. I rubbed at my eyes, clearing the blur. "I do not need rest."

How could he not want to know? How can he not want to know? He must know…know what a failure he has as kin…Cedric was dead. It was all my fault. I knew everything. I saw everything. My heart clenched and my tummy burned at the feeling again. I did not stop though.

Nonno came into view, his eyes holding an expression that spoke his age more than the wrinkles on his face. "Kyrianna…maybe it is best-"

I looked away from him and looked at Harry. I searched for his green eyes like an oasis in a desert. I saw those eyes and my heart unclenched…I saw those haunting green eyes and delved deeper and deeper into them, voluntarily swimming in his water of despair.

"He's back?" Subtle similar pronunciation made me aware that it was my voice, yet it was alien in its deadly softness, in its fragility…

Harry nodded, never breaking my gaze. It was all true. Whatever those things were. They spoke the truth.

I turned back to Nonno, staring into the familiar blue that was now fringed with unfamiliarity,

"I was sitting in the stands when I felt lightheaded, and I saw Harry and Cedric stand on either side of the goblet of fire." I felt a steady hand on my shoulder, but I pushed it away with my mind, my body too tired to physically do so. The words stacked together on their ascension through my throat but a soft warmth from my chest pushed them out, "In my head. In my head. I saw it in my head." There was no change to the blue hue, "They decided to take the cup together. I then saw a flash of green light and empty grey eyes. I saw a cauldron, blood drip down Harry's arm, then flashes of red eyes and pale skin. When I came to, I couldn't move or speak, I was in pain. My head. I couldn't speak but I managed to move. I got down to the field but still couldn't talk. I fainted there and someone caught me and took me down to the secret passage that leads from the quidditch pitch to the dungeons. This someone was the same person who attacked me the last time. He looked like him,"

I made a short glance to the black-haired unkempt stranger and then went back to holding Nonno's blue eyed gaze.

"Only instead of the grey, he had black. Black eyes. He had expensive clothes and a badge that said Eliot Hutchinson, media. That's when Blishwick stuck his face in. Called him Bastian. Said someone was looking for him. He was initially angry at Blishwick for using his given name but then cooled down saying after tonight all would be clear. He left, leaving Blishwick in charge. I was still in pain. Blishwick was knocked unconscious."

I stopped, the pushing warmth in my chest halting my ten words per second speed, breathing heavy...if I was breathing at all. Something was telling me not to mention Nott. A niggling feeling at the back of my head and a masked faced in the circle of dark figures flashed before my eyes, green-brown eyes glowed through the silver mask...Nott's father…a death eater?

"I managed to defeat Blishwick, but Bastian came back, and we fought. He was winning. I managed to run away though to my rooms. It didn't let him in, I ran to you."

The warm pressure fell away, and anger burned in my mind, somewhere my heart had promised my mind that there would be relief after talking. There was none…the lies we tell ourselves.

I tore my eyes away from Nonno's and stared at the green orbs, my breathing going back to normal, the other shapes fading away, only emerald processed as it shined with an emotion that was a mirror to my grey.

"What is she saying?" Len's voice floated across the room, as if hundreds of miles away. I didn't tear my gaze from the emeralds though. I looked at it as if it was my anchor of sanity. I said all that needed to be said. They knew who to look for. They knew that it was my fault that Cedric was dead.

More trembling at my ear as his chest rose, and Linus' voice, so near yet so far, spoke, "Did she have premonitions? Bastian…. we'll have to work on a surname."

"That isn't necessary." Everybody turned and looked at Sev, except me. I continued to fall into green. "His surname is Blishwick. He's Barriston Blishwick's older brother. He didn't attend school here, Durmstrang I think."

"Well, that's all we need." Len's voice was fire vocalised.

Sev turned and looked at Len, "Unfortunately that would not be so simple. He was probably working with Barty Crouch Jr. That's why he was in Hogsmeade that night…to meet with him. He would be with his master now. So would his brother. Blishwick is gone. Nowhere to be found in the castle." When did Sev even leave the room? Did he leave to check for those bastards once he found out their names?

"An easy enough task considering the situation we found ourselves in. Bane missing and then Mr Potter showing up with…with…all of the commotion…" Minnie…Minnie was here.

"I urge you not to look for him." If Len vocalised fire, Sev vocalised steel. "Bane?"

I looked away from green and stared at Sev. My expression seemed to frighten him, the blank of his face falling away, and all rigidity evaporated as he came forward quickly, kissed me on the forehead and turned and walked away. Seems he chose both, to come to me and to flee.

The black-haired stranger followed suit.

"Kyrianna." I turned to Nonno, I felt his presence all around me, yet he remained standing at the foot of the bed, "I need to go and speak to the Diggory's…" I felt my heart tremble at that look in his eyes, my Nonno didn't stand at the foot of my bed, who was this old stranger…he turned away, the silver of his hair shining more brightly than it ever did before.

I could hear Li and Len fussing over me and other voices but none of it made sense. The only thing that made sense was pained green eyes and empty grey ones. Both lying heavily on my conscious.

I opened my eyes and found darkness. I immediately turned to my right. I saw them, green eyes glowing in the dark. I felt the cold night air sting at my bare legs as I tossed the sheet off of me, I felt the smooth tiles at my bare feet, I felt his warm blanket as it crept between my fingers as I pulled it down. I heard the creak of the mattress as I shoved a knee into it, I felt the whispers of my hair as they billowed around me, tossed up at the impact of my head on the soft pillow. I covered myself again. My back to him. He hadn't said a word. And then we said it at the exact same time,

"It's not your fault."

I saw it in his eyes from the moment I opened my own earlier, saw it because I probably had the same look.

"I made him take the cup with me." His voice just like Linus' rumbled at my ear.

"You didn't make him do anything. I saw the whole thing happen." I felt the hair on my arms rise as the trepid fingers ghost across them.

"You were being attacked. You tried your hardest."

"I keep thinking what I could have done differently. Maybe stayed and fought instead of run."

"Most likely there would be two dead bodies here tonight."

I turned around and faced a wall of white. I pushed my heel into the mattress, pushing me higher up the bed and finally made eye contact. The words I wanted to say lay forgotten on my tongue at the look in his eyes, Len may have spoken fire, but Harry looked close to breathing it.

"Did Blishwick hurt you?"

"Nothing I can't recover from."

I stopped looking at his eyes and looked back again at his plain white pyjama top. I watched his chest go up and down slowly. "He tried… ra…raping me in August." It was the first time I said that aloud. "When I got split up from you guys. He…he tried but I beat him. He…touched me on my stomach." I placed my hand against his and then slowly worked my hand higher, stopping just below his chest. "I didn't let him get there. I threw him off. I didn't say, because you know. The boys. They would freak out. And I thought he was just a drunk death eater. I had no idea that he would find me again."

I didn't realise that I had started clutching his shirt until he placed a gentle hand against my own, the material jutting out my closed fist.

"The day before the second task I snuck into Hogsmeade to steal Gillyweed from Dogweed and Deathcap because I thought that Mi was the thing you had to save. I was being stupid. I should have known Nonno wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. To any of you. I was sleepy though and I wasn't thinking straight…and that's where he found me again. He took me to the Shrieking Shack and tried…again."

His hand got tighter over mine and his chest started rising faster, I concentrated on that. I didn't stop though. "He stabbed me. And cut me. And kicked me and punched me and…he tried…but he couldn't. The locket and the bracelet, it protected me. But then he burned me…from within... My house elf Kinky saved me." I felt him move closer, but he still didn't speak. "I was unconscious for three months. Nobody could know because they didn't find who had done it. Thought it was safer to keep it quiet and let him think I was dead. I think Nonno didn't want anybody other than Mi to know because he wasn't sure if I'd want that to be known. They didn't know really, what exactly happened to me. He wanted it to be my choice, who I told."

Suddenly that relief that was promised to my mind earlier was delivered; it seems I was directing my words at the wrong source at the time. I closed the gap between my face and his chest, and I felt warmness wrap around me, all trepidation leaving his steady hands.

"I'm so sorry…I should have fought harder to get to someone. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." It was coming out in muffled gasps, and he pulled me away from his chest and lifted my chin up and I met those green eyes that were my lifeline a few hours ago. They were not crystal clear like they usually were but coated with a thick layer of moisture.

His eyes were wet with fury. There was no crooked smirk, and his jaw was tight.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. None of this is your fault. You broke your head trying to get help. The majority of your injury came from loss of blood, did you know that. It wouldn't stop gushing out from your nose…whatever you saw did that. And you still managed to stand up and fight. To keep safe." He grabbed my face, "Because that's what matters the most. You are safe." His eyes shone down at me and were conveying so many emotions.

"What were those things?" The words walked softly across the pillow and climbed into his ears.

"I think premonitions. A year ago, I saw Professor Trelawney have one. Hermione said that you zoned out. That your eyes glazed over for a few moments and the next thing she knew you wobbled off the seat and felt your way down. She said she followed but you got lost in the crowd and then you were gone. Just like that. In front of everyone. Not a soul saw. How could they not see you? None of the champions they watched so diligently deserved their undivided attention…how could they not see you?"

He muttered into the pillow, as if it was absurd that anyone would not notice me…His eyes snapped back to my own, "Hermione went straight to Snape who was nearest and then that just lit the fire. Your brothers where here in two minutes she said…Mad Eye…"

He stopped, his eyes turning wary, and I pushed closer to him, my eyes pleading for the truth. I felt him sigh,

"Mad Eye…Barty Crouch Jr…an imposter who was on Polyjuice pretending to be Mad Eye, said that his partner's job was to cause a distraction so that nobody would notice Cedric and I disappearing off school grounds. He managed to break the barrier preventing portkeys in Hogwarts but not bewitch the signal that notifies the Headmasters office that a student has left the grounds magically. When Fawkes arrived, everybody was so busy looking for you that they thought his distress was directed at the fact that you were gone, and not that I was gone."

"So, you were taken so easily because everybody was out looking for me?" The words came out bitter, but not as burning as the churn in my stomach. "That means it's all my-"

"No. Stop that. If it wasn't you as the distraction, it would have been-"

"But it was me! And I was weak! I am weak! I could have-"

"No." I felt fingers at my mouth physically stopping the words. "Please don't…enough of that." It was his face that made me stop, not his hands. It seems I was not alone drowning in this sea of 'could haves.' I didn't want him to drown and took a deep breath.

"Is that what happened to Trelawney? The whole glazed over thing." He grabbed the change of subject like a lifeline.

"Yeah…but she was speaking as it happened. Hermione said you were quiet. That's what caught her attention."

"I could see flashes…I saw…I saw…It hurt…"

"I can imagine. My scar hurts sometime." He thought I was talking about the physical pain, and I nodded slowly. He ran a hand through my hair, the rhythmic action soothing me.

"Has this happened before?"

I stopped and thought about it. "There have been dreams. Dreams that could have been something more…I dreamed of dragons before any of you told me. And I had a dream about being underwater before the second task…I guess I didn't know they were that because I don't pay much attention to dreams…well I never used to."

He continued stroking my hair, the silence carrying us out of the depths of 'could haves' with each steadying breath. When we broke the surface, his voice trembled at my ear again as I leaned against his chest.

"The man that left earlier on that you said looked like Blishwick was my godfather, Sirius Black."

The beating of his heart soothed me as he spoke until his voice was raw, but he didn't stop. He spoke of possessed Defence against the Dark arts teachers, of diaries come to life, of prosecuted Godfathers and werewolf teachers, of life debts and dementors and then death eaters. He told me names and filled in the blanks. Everything. I didn't know when I had snaked my arms around him, but I clutched the back of his shirt, he held me just as tightly. And we lay there for hours, two broken souls, trying to keep the pieces together.

A/N: This is a big step for Ky and Harry – I wanted her to earn her place as his confidant and vice versa. What do you think about their interaction at the end?

Kalina