The events of the weekend differ in several ways from Joanne's depiction.
Saturday morning saw everyone on both Gryffindor Quidditch teams in the stands of the stadium to watch the first team try-outs. As expected, this was just a formality that they had to go through, as there really was no realistic prospect of anyone on the first team losing their place. Hermione and Ron were the only two people attempting to try out, and they of course were unable to secure spots on the first team. As such, Hermione and Mary and Ron and Tina would battle for the right to be the starting third Chaser and Keeper for the reserve team respectfully. Hermione and Mary had a penalty shootout, against Oliver, 10 shots each, with Hermione winning 5-4 to secure her place on the team! Ron however, when competing against Tina to save as many shots as possible out of 10 from Angelina, was beaten 4-3, therefore Tina kept her place.
Ron did not take this defeat well! He slammed his broomstick down on the ground and stormed back off to the castle without a word, even after Oliver attempted to tell him that he would still have a chance at playing if Tina was ill or injured!
Then it was time for reserve team practice to begin. I decided that I would attempt to implement the Harpies free flowing expressive attacking style of play onto my team, though of course I knew that, as a bunch of inexperienced 11 and 12 year olds, what we did wouldn't be anywhere near as good. Still, I was confident that we would be good enough to blow away all the other reserve teams. If everyone did what I asked of them, they'd learn the system in no time.
After we got changed, the reserve team gathered around me in the middle of the pitch. Mary participated too, she would need to be familiar with our system if she was ever called upon to replace one of us.
"Alright, so, welcome to reserve team practice!" I began. "Firstly, I'd just like to congratulate Hermione on making the team, and Tina on keeping her place! This is a very strong squad, so I see no reason why we shouldn't win every game if we all follow my plan and put the work in!"
"So what is the plan?" asked Andrew.
"I think we should try and copy the style that the Holyhead Harpies play at the moment. I'm a massive Harpies fan myself, and the way we usually play is very exciting. Is everyone here familiar with it?"
Everyone nodded, apart from Hermione.
"Don't worry Hermione, with your brains and your determination to be the best, you'll get the hang of it soon enough. Obviously, I think we should also try and put our own spin on it too, just so it doesn't become obvious enough for the other teams to work out. Amy, Andrew, that's where you two come in, I think you should try and replicate the Wimbourne Wasps beating style, while Demelza, Mary, Hermione and I work on the Harpies chasing style. Those 2 systems in combination should confuse the hell out of everyone else! Sloper, just try and make as many snitch catches as you can from various heights and angles, and Tina, you can join us chasers and try to save our shots. Everyone ready?"
"Yes" they answered.
"Let's get started then!"
The session progressed very well indeed! Hermione needed some time to get used to the fast and aggressive chasing style, but once she did, she was excellent. All 4 of us formed some great chemistry and understanding of each others movements, and I knew that Mary could slot right in if she needed to at some point. We were obviously not as good as the Harpies but I knew that we had developed a good system. Amy got Andrew to grips with the Wasps beating style fairly quickly too. Sloper enjoyed numerous successful snitch catches, and Tina did a decent job at saving shots, though she couldn't save any of mine or Demelza's, she did get to a fair few of Hermione's and Mary's.
Demelza was really stepping herself up now, and towards the end we did some bludger avoidance drills, and she managed to avoid every single attempt that Amy and Andrew made on her. Even I couldn't do that, though I wasn't unseated at any point. Hermione and Mary both were, though luckily they were very close to the ground so neither was badly hurt. Eventually after an hour, I called the session to a halt as it was time for the first team to have theirs.
"Well everyone, that was a brilliant first session, I'm so happy with all of you! We're definitely going to be a force to be reckoned with once the season starts! In our next session I think we will get started on practice game situations, because you all seem to understand the basics of your assigned systems pretty well." I told them. Hermione, I'm very impressed though unsurprised at how well you've started with this! It seems that you can do anything if you put your mind to it!"
"Thanks mate" she said, and we fist bumped.
"I'm going to do some research into Quidditch tactics myself" she added. "Hopefully I can help us come up with some good additional strategies".
We then stuck around to watch the first team practice, and I saw for the first time just how good they were. Gryffindor House had 2 exceptionally talented teams, I felt for sure that we would dominate this year!
Just when I was feeling like nothing could go wrong today however, of course it did. The 2 Slytherin teams, who were booked to use the pitch for the afternoon, confronted us as we were leaving, and none other than Draco Malfoy was there with them. The broomsticks the first team were carrying though made my mouth drop open. Every one of them had a Nimbus Two Thousand and One, the very latest model!
"Like them, do you?" said Malfoy smugly "A nice little present these are for the team, from my father, as a reward for them letting me on as their new seeker. In fact that's what our first team are doing today, training me up."
"So you don't have any Quidditch talent already?" said Hermione. "At least all of us do, we didn't have to buy our way on to the teams!"
"No one asked for your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood!" Malfoy responded.
There was instant uproar.
"HOW DARE YOU!" I shouted, and plunged my hand into my robes, but before I could do anything, Ron's voice came out of nowhere. Evidently he had returned for the planned visit to Hagrid's.
"You'll pay for that one Malfoy, EAT SLUGS!" he yelled, pointing his broken wand at Malfoy's stomach.
This was a big mistake, as instead of hitting Malfoy, the spell rebounded and hit Ron in his own stomach, sending him collapsing to the floor and vomiting slugs. The Slytherin teams roared with laughter.
Avery was particularly delighted. "Blood traitor scum getting what they deserve, oh how we love to see it!"
That was the final straw for me, so while Harry and Hermione rushed to Ron's aid, I directed my wand at Avery. She was prepared though, so we both shouted a spell at the same time.
"Runinos!" came from me.
"Heatero!" was Avery's spell.
The spells collided in mid air. Mine flew to the right and hit Slytherin first team captain Marcus Flint in the face, Avery's hit Angelina.
Flint's nose began running in a really ridiculous, extreme way, but not only with liquid snot, solid objects were also shooting out of his nose, the force of which caused him to collapse, howling with pain. It was the Curse of the Bogies, a spell I'd heard about when discussing the previous years DADA classes with Hermione at breakfast. Angelina's face began reddening and she clutched it and collapsed, crying out in pain too, this was a Heating Jinx, which caused people to feel as if their skin was on fire.
At that moment, Madam Hooch arrived and broke everything up.
"What on earth is going on here?!"
It was at that point I realised the ridiculousness of the situation she was looking at. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams, on the verge of an all out brawl, 3 people suffering under the effects of spells, one of which was causing someone to vomit slugs. She went around to each of the 3 affected people and removed the spells, then told us in no uncertain terms to separate, and that we were all very lucky she hadn't seen who cast the spells.
Amy and I said goodbye to Demelza and the rest of the Gryffindor teams, then joined Harry, Ron and Hermione in going to Hagrid's.
We were within twenty feet of Hagrid's house when the front door opened, but it wasn't Hagrid who emerged. Gilderoy Lockhart, wearing robes of palest mauve today, came striding out. "Quick, behind here," Harry hissed, dragging Ron behind a nearby bush. Amy and I followed, and so did Hermione, somewhat reluctantly.
"It's a simple matter if you know what you're doing!" Lockhart was saying loudly to Hagrid. "If you need help, you know where I am! I'll let you have a copy of my book. I'm surprised you haven't already got one - I'll sign one tonight and send it over. Well, good-bye!"
And he strode away toward the castle.
Harry waited until Lockhart was out of sight, then pulled Ron out of the bush and up to Hagrid's front door.
Hagrid appeared at once, looking very grumpy, but his expression brightened when he saw who it was.
"Bin wonderin' when you'd come ter see me - come in, come in - thought you mighta bin Professor Lockhart back again -" we walked over the threshold into the oneroomed cabin, which had an enormous bed in one corner, a fire crackling merrily in the other.
Hagrid was bustling around making us tea. His boarhound, Fang, was slobbering over Harry.
"What did Lockhart want with you, Hagrid?" Harry asked, scratching Fang's ears.
"Givin' me advice on gettin' kelpies out of a well," growled Hagrid, moving a half-plucked rooster off his scrubbed table and setting down the teapot.
"Like I don' know. An' bangin' on about some banshee he banished. If one word of it was true, I'll eat my kettle."
It was most unlike Hagrid to criticize a Hogwarts' teacher, and Harry looked at him in surprise.
Hermione, however, said in a voice somewhat higher than usual,
"I think you're being a bit unfair. Professor Dumbledore obviously thought he was the best man for the job -
"Hermione for fuck's sake, come on! The man is such an obvious fraud!" I said.
"Very well said Ginny, an he was the on' man for the job," said Hagrid, offering us a plate of treacle fudge, which I attempted to accept, but Hermione quickly shook her head while Hagrid had his back turned, and I left it. Clearly they had some bad experience with Hagrid's cooking.
"An' I mean the on' one. Gettin' very difficult ter find anyone fer the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen ter take it on, see. They're startin' ter think it's jinxed. No one's lasted long fer a while now. So tell me, how's your morning been, and pardon me, but I'm not too sure who you are". He gestured to Amy.
"Amy Bagman" she said. "Niece of Ludo"
"Ah" said Hagrid "Yeh any good at Quidditch?"
"Yes" she said, and she explained how practice had went, and how Hermione was now on the reserve team but that Ron hadn't made the starting squad.
"Blimey, I didn't expect you to join in Hermione" he said
"Why does no one expect it? I've always made it clear I love Quidditch!" she said exasperatedly.
"Hermione, Harry, Ginny and I weren't surprised you joined the team!" cried Amy
Hermione bit her lip, then said "oh yeah, sorry", remembering.
"Then we ran into the Slytherins, and all hell broke loose" Amy continued.
When she got to the point where Malfoy called Hermione a mudblood, Hagrid interrupted.
He didn'!" he growled at Hermione.
"He did," she said. "But I don't know what it means. I could tell it was really rude, of course -"
"It's about the most insulting thing he could think of," gasped Ron. "Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born - you know, non-magic parents. There are some wizards - like Malfoy's family - who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call pure-blood. I mean, the rest of us know it doesn't make any difference at all. Look at Neville Longbottom - he's pure-blood and he can hardly stand a cauldron the right way up."
"An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can' do," said Hagrid proudly, making Hermione go a brilliant shade of magenta.
"It's a disgusting thing to call someone," said Ron. "Dirty blood, see. Common blood. It's ridiculous. Most wizards these days are half-blood anyway. If we hadn't married Muggles we'd've died out."
"Harry," said Hagrid abruptly as though struck by a sudden thought. "Gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos. How come I haven't got one?"
"I have not been giving out signed photos," he said hotly. "If Lockhart's still spreading that around -"
But then he saw that Hagrid was laughing.
"I'm on'y jokin'," he said, patting Harry genially on the back and sending him face first into the table. "I knew yeh hadn't really. I told Lockhart yeh didn' need teh. Yer more famous than him without tryin'."
"Bet he didn't like that," said Harry, sitting up and rubbing his chin.
"Don' think he did," said Hagrid, his eyes twinkling. "An' then I told him Id never read one o' his books an' he decided ter go. Treacle fudge, Ron?" he added, but Ron politely declined.
"Come an' see what I've bin growin'," said Hagrid
In the small vegetable patch behind Hagrid's house were a dozen of the largest pumpkins Harry had ever seen. Each was the size of a large boulder.
"Gettin' on well, aren't they?" said Hagrid happily. "Fer the Halloween feast ... should be big enough by then."
"What've you been feeding them?" said Harry. Hagrid looked over his shoulder to check that they were alone.
"Well, I've bin givin' them - you know - a bit o' help -"
I saw that Hagrid looked strangely uncomfortable when he said this.
"An Engorgement Charm, I suppose?" said Hermione, halfway between disapproval and amusement. "Well, you've done a good job on them."
We said good-bye to Hagrid and walked back up to the castle.
Ron turned to Amy and said "so with Ludo being your uncle can you get me free Wasps tickets? I'm a Cannons fan, but I wouldn't say no to those!"
"Told you mate" I said, laughing.
"I'm afraid not, it only happens occasionally and for family members only. Ludo is a club ambassador now yes, but they're very strict about these kinds of things." said Amy.
Ron scowled.