CHAPTER 43: Prayer
"Teach me to trust my heart so that I may enter my sacred space and love beyond my fear."
As Aang slowly opened his eyes, the soft light of dawn filtering through the window greeted him. The air in the room felt calm and serene.
Blinking away the remnants of sleep, he turned his head slightly.
There she was, lying peacefully beside him, bathed in the soft morning glow.
Nii's features were softened in slumber. A faint smile graced her lips, a reflection of the tranquility that enveloped her. With every breath, she seemed to radiate an aura of serenity and warmth, filling the room with an undeniable sense of comfort.
Aang couldn't help but feel a surge of affection welling up within him as he watched her sleep.
He reached out gently, his fingers tracing the honey curve of her cheek, as he marveled at the delicate beauty of her features.
As he gazed at her, a flood of memories from last night washed over him – her breathtaking beauty, her sparkling eyes, all of the sensations from her breathing out over him, sitting on top of him, the sounds of her voice filled with pleasure, the joy of touching her, of being inside her…
Aang closed his eyes when he felt his body awakening together with the butterflies in his stomach.
"I'm yours," she had said to him while he was inside her, and he had never felt so cherished before, so wanted and seen at the same time, so connected, so loved. She had literally begged for him to give her everything.
He bit his lower lip.
He thought about what Zuko had told him: "And if you don't wanna knock her up right away, pull out before, you know..."
He had not known.
But he knew now.
And he did not pull out.
He had completely given in to her, and he had filled her with his seed, as if he could do nothing else. It had felt as if something greater than him had taken over, as if he had been compelled to do so, to just give her everything he was.
It had felt so good, so right.
As if in that moment, he was meant for nothing else in this world than to share his life energy with her, as if that was his purpose.
Aang furrowed his brows a little.
Did that mean that she was pregnant now?
That she was going to bear him a child?
That he was going to be a father?
With a quiet rustle of sheets, he propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes opening again to let his gaze linger on Nii beside him.
He was not ready to be a father.
He had so much to do.
He was too young.
But still, if anyone was to bear him a child, she was the one.
Aang's heart swelled with a profound sense of love and warmth as he imagined a future with her, and in his mind's eye, he envisioned her cradling their newborn child, her eyes alight with joy and love as she looked down at their joy.
The thought of Nii as a mother to his children filled him with a sense of awe and wonder. He knew of the nurturing spirit she possessed, a kindness and compassion that would make her an extraordinary parent.
He could picture her gentle touch, her soothing voice, as she cared for their child with all the tenderness and love in her heart.
He loved her.
Aang stirred a little between the sheets again in surprise of his own thoughts and feelings.
He loved her?!
"Morning," Nii suddenly murmured next to him, her voice soft and melodious, like sweet music in his ears.
Aang could not help but smile, feeling a surge of happiness welling up within him at the sound of her voice, and as he met her eyes, revealing the warmth and brightness of her gaze, he felt a rush of love and adoration wash over him once more.
In that moment, everything else faded away - the worries of the world, the burdens of his responsibilities. All that mattered was this woman next to him, her presence filling him with a sense of peace and contentment unlike anything he had ever known.
"Good morning, you," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
He reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, before he leaned in closer to press a soft kiss to her forehead, and Nii stirred ever so slightly, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she nuzzled closer to him.
"Thank you," she whispered into him, the words spilling from her lips like a prayer.
Those two simple words held layers of meaning to him - gratitude for the affection they had shared, for the trust they had placed in each other, for the deep connection that bound them together.
Aang's heart swelled with love at her words, his own emotions echoing hers.
"Thank you, Nii," he murmured, before he wrapped his arms around her.
And as the morning sun outside continued to rise, casting its golden light upon the Fire Nation palace, Aang felt a profound sense of happiness knowing that he was exactly where he belonged – by Nii's side.
Later, when he and Nii entered the dining hall for breakfast, the aroma of food mingled with the soft morning light streaming through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room.
But as he approached the table where Suki, Katara and Zuko already were sitting, he noticed the mischievous smirk playing at the corners of The Fire Lord's lips.
Aang's heart skipped a beat as he met Zuko's gaze, a flicker of realization dawning within him. There was a knowing glint in Zuko's eyes, a subtle amusement that spoke volumes without a word being said.
It was as if he could see right through Aang, as if he knew the intimate details of his and Nii's night before.
Aang felt a flush rising to his cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and defiance swirling within him.
"Good morning, you two," Suki chirped happily from the table, offering them both a sweet and caring smile.
Aang cleared his throat, trying to mask his unease with a forced smile, as he turned his gaze to meet with Suki.
"Morning," he said, trying his best to sound casual and confident, but out of the corner of his eyes he could see that Zuko's smirk only widened, his expression teasing and playful.
With a determined effort to regain his composure, Aang squared his shoulders and met Zuko's smirk with a defiant and playful grin of his own, silently daring him to continue his teasing.
Zuko chuckled to himself before he focused his attention back to the plate in front of him.
"Good morning," Nii chimed as they both sat down. "Ready for today?"
Oh right.
He remembered now.
Today was the day of the meeting with the Earth King and the Chiefs of the Water Tribes.
"You bet!" Sokka's voice suddenly sounded from over by the door, and Aang looked up to see both he and Toph making their way to join them around the table.
Aang made sure to not make eye contact with Toph.
He had had enough teasing for one day.
"I'd like to invite you guys to do something with me before the meeting," Nii's voice suddenly sounded next to him, and Aang felt his eye twitch a little in surprise, before he turned his gaze to hers.
His mind wandered back to the first time she had extended an invitation to him to do something new by the pond.
He felt his cheeks flush.
"'Cause I know that you're not only gonna talk about the Phoenix loyalists but also the restoration of the Air Temples, and as you probably know by now, that's become super important to me," Nii continued, and she reached her hand below the table to grab Aang's.
"Yeah?" Katara smiled at her.
"I'd like to offer to do a meditation, or like, a prayer to center ourselves before we go into this meeting today," Nii said with a calm expression across her features. "To call upon the spirits of the elements that will be gathered, and ask them to come together for us today."
Aang's eyes were wide with surprise over her invitation, but they soon lit up with a spark of hope as he knew of the power of meditation.
He gazed around at the others, silently encouraging them to embrace Nii's proposal with an open mind. He knew that not everyone shared his belief in spiritual practices, but he hoped that they would be willing to trust…
"Seriously, jungle girl?" Toph scoffed with arms crossed and a bemused expression on her face. "You want us to sit around and hum while we've got a meeting to prepare for?"
Her tone was brash and to the point, her voice laced with her typical no-nonsense attitude, and Aang could not help but to furrow his brows in irritation at her.
He was just about to open his mouth to say something, when Suki beat him to the punch.
"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea!" she smiled with warmth in her eyes. "Right, Sokka?"
Sokka exchanged a quick glance with Toph, his expression reflecting a blend of uncertainty and amusement.
"Uh, sure!" he quipped with a hint of sarcasm. "I guess we could all use a little nap before the big meeting, right?"
This caused Toph to laugh.
Suki shot him a glance that spelled murder, and his smile disappeared.
"It would be my honor to join you in your prayer, Nii," someone said from the doors, and they all looked over in surprise to see Iroh standing there with a gentle and peaceful smile over his lips.
He took a few steps forth, while reaching his hands around himself to his lower back where they clasped together.
"For it is in the stillness of the mind that we find true peace," he added in words that carried the weight of calmness and confidence. "By quieting the noise within, we open ourselves to the wisdom of the universe."
Aang nodded at Iroh in agreement, and his gaze met with Zuko.
With a subtle nod of acceptance, Zuko offered a quiet acknowledgement of Nii's suggestion. Aang sensed that he did harbor some doubt within him, but there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, a willingness to embrace the opportunity.
"It won't take long, Toph," Nii assured with a smile.
Toph rolled her eyes, unconvinced but begrudgingly willing to go along with the plan if it meant keeping the peace within the group before the meeting.
"Fine," she grumbled. "But don't expect me to start singing Kumbaya or anything."
Nii sent her a knowing smile, and soon they all gathered in a large room without furniture. The only thing really noticeable in the room was giant dragon depictions along the walls.
Aang wondered what the room was originally intended for.
"Please, gather in a circle and sit down," Nii said. "You can close your eyes, or you can keep them open. That's up to you."
Aang noticed that she was standing in front of some artifacts, and he wanted to take a closer look, but he quickly found a spot on the floor along with the others.
He closed his eyes, as he was used to when meditating.
But he did feel curiosity sprouting deep from within his heart as to what she meant by a prayer meditation, so he soon found himself unable to resist stealing glances, his eyes flickering open intermittently to observe her movements.
With a sense of reverence, Aang watched Nii as she sat down in the circle with them, before he heard her exhaling a deep contented sigh.
Then, she blew out air through pursed lips, as if she was releasing something.
There was a sense of purification or intention with her exhales, as if she was already channeling energy in some way.
He felt the gentle breeze of her breath stirring the air, its caress carrying a sense of anticipation and calmness at the same time.
He watched Nii's hands move gracefully, as if she traced intricate patterns in the air as she invoked the spirits. Her posture was poised and serene, her movements deliberate yet fluid, each gesture imbued with a profound sense of purpose and meaning.
As Nii let out another contented sigh, it seemed like the air around them thickened with energy, charged with a palpable sense of connection and unity in the circle.
He felt the presence of his friends beside him, their collective breaths mingling in a harmonious rhythm, a symphony of life and energy.
He felt his skin prickling with goosebumps as the currents of energy swirled around him, and he allowed the currents to flow through him.
Nii then placed her hands over her heart chakra and closed her eyes.
He closed his eyes and placed his hands over his heart too, and that was when she started to sing:
"I'm calling my heart, calling my heart.
Pray within me, pray within me, pray within me."
Immediately, as the words left her mouth, Aang felt a warmth blossoming within his chest.
It started as a subtle flutter, a gentle reminder of the beating rhythm of his own heart, but soon it grew into something more profound. It was as if her words had his heart expand in his chest, reaching out to embrace the hearts of his friends seated beside him.
He could suddenly sense the ebb and flow of their emotions, the highs and lows of their experiences, as though their hearts beat in unison with his own.
He felt a surge of emotions weeling up within him - gratitude for the love and companionship of his friends, determination to protect and support them in their time of need, and a profound sense of unity that bound them together in this very moment.
In spirit and in purpose.
Then, as he sensed movement in the air, he peeped one of his eyes open to see Nii walking over to Katara, and Aang opened both eyes when he saw her place something in front of the Waterbender, before she sat down in front of her.
He leaned himself a bit to the right to be able to see.
It was a small bowl filled with water.
Nii reached her fingers into the water and lifted it again to have droplets fall back into the bowl, leaving a soothing sound of trickling water to fill the air.
And then, with a voice like liquid honey, Nii began to sing again, her voice soft and melodious, washing over the group like a gentle wave:
"Children of the moon, children of the moon.
Rain on my dreams, enlighten my blood, flow with my soul."
While Nii sang to her, Katara's face appeared to take on a serene expression while a gentle smile graced her lips. It seemed like a smile filled with appreciation.
Aang tilted his head slightly.
Were her eyes shimmering?
He suddenly felt a gentle tingle spread throughout his body, as if the very air somehow became charged with the energy of water.
He closed his eyes once more, as he felt his awareness expand. It was as if Nii's singing helped him connect to a deeper sense of the vastness of the oceans and the intricate network of rivers and streams that flowed through the world in this moment.
He felt the rain, the ebb and flow of the water's currents, the rhythm of its tides, and the life-giving essence that sustains all living beings.
And he felt it within himself too.
The flow of his blood that coursed through his veins with the rhythm of his heart. He felt the air from his breath being transported from his lungs and into his bloodstream, giving life to his organs and muscles.
Aang exhaled deeply, before he heard Nii rise to her feet.
Again, he opened both of his eyes in curiosity, as he watched Nii walk over to sit in front of Toph and her place something in front of the Earthbender.
It was a small rock.
Aang could not help but to let a smile tug at his lips, when Nii started singing again:
"Children of the earth, children of the earth.
Teach me to stand, teach me to walk, walk in your ways."
He felt himself breathe deeply again, his senses heightened as a profound connection sprouted with the ground beneath him. It was a sensation that seemed to root him to the earth, feeling its energy stir within him, its pulse echoing in the depths of his soul.
In his mind's eye he saw himself as a tree, his roots extending deep into the earth, drawing strength and nourishment from the soil below the floors under him. He felt the steady rhythm of the earth's heartbeat, a primal and ancient force that courses through the land and sustains all life.
In that moment, he became aware of the vastness of the natural world, and he knew deep inside that he was not separate from the earth but an integral part of it - a steward entrusted with the sacred duty of preserving and protecting its beauty and vitality.
He felt a deep gratitude for the earth's abundance and resilience, and a renewed commitment to honor and cherish it in all its forms.
Then, Nii approached Zuko and Iroh.
She walked with a quiet grace, her movements deliberate and purposeful, while in her hands, she carried a small candle.
With a gentle touch, she placed the candle in front of the two Firebenders, positioning it with great care, and Aang saw how they both looked at her with curiosity and sincerity.
Iroh soon offered Nii a nod of gratitude, his eyes twinkling with warmth and appreciation.
He reached his hand out, his movement steady and sure, and with a gentle flick of his wrist, he lit the candle, its light dancing across his features, casting a soft glow on the three of them.
"Children of the sun, children of the sun.
Shine on your light, burn on your flame, chime on my way."
As Nii chanted her prayer for the fire element, Aang again felt his senses become heightened, attuned to the subtle shift in energy within and around him.
He felt a warmth spread through his body with the essence of fire - crackling flames suddenly danced in his heart, while he could easily feel the heat radiating from the flame over the candle, its flickering, and the primal energy that coursed through its fiery embrace.
He felt his own connection with the fire within him grow stronger, his spirit merging with the element and its transformative attributes, as if he became one with the flames, his consciousness expanding to encompass the wild and untamed power of dragons and wildfires.
In that moment, Aang knew that he was not separate from the fire, but an integral part of it, and he knew of his duty to harness its power for good.
And then, Aang felt Nii approach him.
He opened his eyes when she sat down in front of him.
Nii smiled at him with love sparkling in her eyes, when she placed the incense holder that he had given her when he did her room back in the Eastern Air Temple, and she soon placed an incense stick in it that was already lit.
The smoke from the incense twirled happily upwards in the air between the two of them, surrounding them as they sat there with their gazes connected.
She opened her mouth to sing to him as if she sang to his heart:
"Children of the sky, children of the sky.
Teach me to breathe, teach me to fly, fly with your winds."
He did not know why but her words filled him with a deep sadness, and he could not help but to close his eyes and exhale deeply, as he felt heat travel to his eyes.
And almost immediately, he felt his lips quivering, and tears started streaming down his cheeks.
As Nii's words resonated through the air, Aang felt a profound connection with his element, a sensation that filled him with both sadness, peace and harmony.
In his mind's eye, he saw himself soaring through the skies, his body weightless and free, carried on the wings of the wind itself.
He recalled memories from long ago when he soared with other children of the sky.
Aang felt his awareness expand to encompass the boundless expanse and the infinite possibilities of the sky above. And on an even deeper level, he felt himself as an integral part of the air around him - like a dancer in the eternal ballet of wind and sky.
He felt a deep sense of gratitude for the life-giving air of breath, and a renewed commitment to honor and protect its purity and vitality.
Nii placed a warm hand on his knee, which caused him to open his eyes to gaze at her through his shimmering tears.
She was such a beautiful soul.
He loved her.
He knew that.
He wanted to tell her, but Nii soon rose to her feet and walked over to Sokka.
She placed a shell in front of him and started singing:
"Children of this life, children of this life.
Teach me to love, teach me to laugh, laugh in your way."
Aang saw that Sokka smiled at her, before he felt a stirring within his heart.
Aang focused inward and felt himself tune into the playful and carefree spirit residing deep within him.
Her words washed over him like a bubbling sensation that rose from the depths of his being, akin to the joyous laughter of children at play, a pure and unbridled expression of happiness that knows no bounds.
Aang could not help to recall the sound of Sokka's laughter, vibrant and full of life, and he knew deep in his heart how laughter is not just a sound, but a reflection of the boundless joy and wonder that infuses every aspect of life.
He felt a deep gratitude for the gift of laughter, and a renewed commitment to embrace life with a childlike sense of wonder.
When she finished her chant, Nii walked over to Suki to complete the circle.
Nii placed what Aang recognized to be a feather fan in front of her, before her melody carried on with the words:
"Spirits from above, spirits from below, spirits from within.
Come with your grace, come and guide me, come and heal me."
Her words weaved a tapestry of peace and tranquility within him, and Aang felt a deep sense of connection with the spirits that dwelled both within the physical as well as the spirit realm.
It was as if he could see the veil between these two layers of existence at the same time, and he sensed the presence of the spirits like a warm embrace, allowing it to wash over him like a gentle breeze.
He could hear Suki exhale something that sounded like a blend of a sigh of relief, a chuckle and a sob, and Aang could not help but to marvel at the differences between Nii's prayer and his own way of meditating.
While he was accustomed to quiet contemplation and focused breathing, Nii's approach seemed to involve a deeper emotional connection, to the Spirit World, to the elements, to himself.
Aang was surprised when he felt Nii sit down in front of him again, and so he opened his eyes to lock with her gaze.
Her expression told of a deep reverence, a sense of humility and awe, and he watched her place a golden coin on the floor next to the incense holder.
The coin held the symbols of the four elements, and he furrowed his brows at her.
Nii's voice was tinged with respect and admiration, as she sang for him again:
"Keeper of oneness, bender of all elements.
Come and guide me, teach me to fight, fight with no war."
Aang closed his eyes as he felt a surge of pain stab at his heart.
It was as if she recognized the weight of his destiny and the importance of his role in the world as the Avatar. As if she sang of the divine spark that resided within him, and right now as she sat there, she was honoring it with every fiber of her being.
And when he opened his eyes, he looked into her dark chocolate pools that seemed to be deep wells of faith and belief in his ability to fulfill his destiny. Her lips curved into a serene smile that spoke volumes about her ancient wisdom and of her genuine care for him.
He recalled the teachings of the Air Nomad mentors, who taught him to seek balance and harmony in all things, and in that instance he felt a profound resonance with his soul.
He knew that his true strength had always been to cultivate peace within himself and extend it outward to others.
And right now, there was no war inside of him.
He was aligned.
Nii soon rose to her bare feet, and she started walking slowly, gracefully around the circle of friends with her hands upward as if she was channeling healing energy from her heart towards everyone.
Her voice was like liquid gold in his ears.
"Cause when we embrace, all that exists, all that is here.
Then the heart breaks, then the heart shines, then the heart sings."
As Nii walked over to her spot in the circle and sat down, Aang swept his gaze over each of his friends gathered around him. And what he saw filled him with a profound mixture of emotions as Nii concluded the prayer with one last chant:
"All becomes love, all becomes love.
In conversion, when we are one, one with everything."
Sokka's usually lighthearted expression was softened by unshed tears of gratitude, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions as he met Aang's gaze with a mixture of love and respect.
Nearby, Zuko's stoic facade had crumbled, replaced by tears of reconciliation and healing as he locked eyes with Aang, a silent acknowledgement passing between them.
Katara's expression was like a mosaic of emotions. Tears glistened in her eyes, but unlike the others, hers carried a unique depth, her heart overflowing with a blend of sorrow and hope intertwined.
Beside her, Iroh's gentle smile was tinged with tears of joy, his eyes twinkling with pride and affection for them all.
Suki's expression was one of quiet reverence, her tears a testament to the depth of her faith and belief in herself and her journey.
And Toph, ever the picture of strength and resilience, just sat there in silence. No jokes, no comments, no raised eyebrows, just a silent tribute to the bonds of friendship that united them all.
As Aang took in the sight of his friends, their tears of emotion served as a poignant reminder of the love and connection that bound them together, and he felt a surge of gratitude and humility wash over him.
In that moment, he knew that he was not alone – and he would never be.
No matter what challenges lie ahead, he would always be surrounded by the love and support of his friends.
"So," Nii's voice suddenly sounded in a cheer, breaking the reverent silence between them. "Feeling ready for the meeting?"
Nii's prayer was inspired by two songs that I'd like to invite you to listen to:
1. "Dream Prayer (Live)" by Chantress Seba - It's hard to describe the difference in exhaling I want to get at, so this song'll give you an idea of what I'm trying to describe before her chant.
2. "Native Prayer" by Gerhard Fankhauser and Einat Gilboa - As you'll hear, the lyrics of this song inspired me for Nii's prayer.
Enjoy!