(Part 1) - Youngling
Plot: Obi-Wan finds Anakin when he's still a baby, taking him to the Temple. He also finds out that Anakin is his half-brother. It forges a fast bond between them, an attachment the Jedi strongly disapprove of. But maybe their new-found closeness will be for the better for everyone.
Author's Note: This is a gift for MetalJewel93639 on Ao3. :)
~ Tirana Sorki
Obi-Wan always had the faintest memories of his parents, but it wasn't clear enough to make sense to him and it frankly never mattered.
Or at least it didn't until he ran into his mother again... and his barely one-year-old little brother.
"Gagaga," Anakin says importantly, staring up at Obi-Wan with a gaze far too piercing for a one-year-old. It's unnerving.
Qui-Gon prepared him for a lot in the time he's been a padawan. But even if he's already seventeen, he definitely wasn't prepared to deal with the realization that he has a little brother, much less one who's so powerful in the Force.
His Force presence is as overwhelming as a star gone supernova, even if it's childish and wild right now. He hasn't learned any shielding yet.
Obi-Wan's taking him to the Temple now. The Jedi are his own family and soon they'll be Anakin's too. In that way, Obi-Wan's always had a family, but something about holding tiny little Anakin in his arms is warming something deep in his heart, something he's never felt towards... any of the other Jedi, really. Not even the group of other Initiates he grew up with. He was close to them, but it wasn't quite the same sensation as this.
"The Jedi will take care of you," Obi-Wan tells him, "You'll be a Jedi just like me."
"Gagaga," Anakin agrees.
He can't help the smile that fights to appear on his face, as he shifts Anakin's position in his arms.
The baby waves a hand in his face. The tiniest bit of blonde hair he has somehow makes him look even more adorable.
Obi-Wan can't quite tell why but he awkwardly holds out his other hand to him. Anakin grabs one of his fingers, looking immensely happy about... something. Obi-Wan lightly runs his finger over the back of his hand.
Really, though, he doesn't think Anakin should be this skinny. He doesn't exactly look... healthy.
Not like that's really a shock. He was a slave. Obi-Wan had been briefly captured by the Hutts on a mission with Qui-Gon, and they'd found his mother, Shmi, and Anakin. They were able to free them both. Meeting Shmi had been awkward more than anything else. He'd felt a little bad about having to just leave her and take Anakin too, but she'd seemed happy that they would both have something better than what she could give them. Obi-Wan doesn't know how to feel that if he hadn't found them, Anakin would have grown up as a slave. He might never have been freed, might never have found his way to the Jedi.
And Obi-Wan might've never met him. Which... probably shouldn't matter as a Jedi, but it does, a lot more than he could ever say.
Anakin shifts, resting his head against Obi-Wan's chest, and his heart melts into a puddle of goo. At least whatever happens from here, Anakin should be well taken care of at the Temple.
**w**
Obi-Wan's Jedi communicator starts beeping only minutes after he's trying to go to sleep. But it must be important, so he sits up to answer.
It's one of the Jedi Masters who takes care of the younglings. "Yes?"
"The youngling you brought to the creche has been greatly distressed. He was calm until you left, and we haven't been able to get him to calm down since. Sometimes, the younglings have a difficult time adjusting. Normally, they get over it in a few days but he's keeping all the others awake."
"You want me to come there?" Obi-Wan guesses.
That's bizarre.
Anakin hardly even knows him, even if he was very distressed when Obi-Wan had left him behind in the creche, telling him he'd come back eventually before he'd tried to move on as though nothing important had happened. Like he should have, even if his mind has still been unable to get off the fact that he has a sibling.
"Perhaps once, at least to try it," she concedes.
...Fine.
This is weird, but he's been secretly hoping to come up with some excuse to go see Anakin again, so he scrambles to the youngling's area as fast as possible.
Anakin's still crying when he comes in. It makes his heart clench painfully – though he has no idea how he's supposed to handle a crying baby, of all things.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan inquiries, approaching his crib.
The baby perks up instantly at the sound of his voice, somehow smiling past his seer-streaked face.
"Waa!" Anakin squeals.
Obi-Wan reaches into the crib, awkwardly picking him up. "What's wrong?" he asks, feeling ridiculously self-conscious with the other Jedi Master watching him.
"Waa gagaaga," he says as if that's supposed to make any sense. At least he's calming down a little now.
"This is your new home, your new family," Obi-Wan tells him, "You'll be safe here. You... need to go to sleep."
"Waa," Anakin whines, visibly less excited. He waves a hand, grabbing at his sleeve.
"I can't stay here, but – "
"Waaa," he whines, looking close to crying again.
Oh great.
What's he supposed to do now?
"Maybe I can stay with him tonight?" Obi-Wan suggests helplessly, looking to the Jedi Master. "At least everyone else will get sleep that way."
The Jedi Master seems reluctant, but she concedes. "Just for tonight."
"...Fine, Anakin. I'll stay with you just for tonight. Is that what you want?"
"Waa," Anakin agrees, brightening again.
"Why do you keep saying that?"
"Waaa."
"That's not my name."
"Waa," he insists, proudly.
Oh fine.
Could be something worse, he supposes.
**w**
Obi-Wan thought going to stay with Anakin at night would be a one-time thing, but if anything, it only seems to make Anakin more stubborn about being with him. The Jedi Masters aren't happy.
Obi-Wan doesn't mind nearly as much as he probably ought to. He – he kind of likes it. He wants to be with him and the more he is, the more he wants to be.
Even if it's becoming a little distracting from the mission.
The Jedi Master wasn't very happy that the first thing he did after being gone on a weeklong mission was to come to the creche to see how Anakin was doing. She said she was hoping to break the habit while he was away on a mission, but the moment he came back, Anakin started crying for him every night again.
"What's with you spending so much time in the creche these days?" Siri inquires dryly when he runs into her in the padawan dining hall one afternoon.
She was part of his Initiate clan when they were young. They grew up together, but he's hardly seen her since she became a padawan a couple of years before him. He... accepted the distance between them years ago, but there are still moments he misses the companionship of those days. Maybe, that's part of why he doesn't want to let go of Anakin even if he knows he ought to. But it's probably fine if it's not distracting him from his duties, right?
...Maybe?
Obi-Wan shrugs a shoulder, throwing a glance around to make sure the conversation is private. "I... have a brother," he confesses, "I brought him to the Temple, but he's having a hard time adjusting."
"That happens," Siri says, with a careless shrug, "But he's going to have to get used to it eventually."
He doesn't know why something in his chest twists violently at the mere thought. "I know," Obi-Wan agrees, nonchalantly.
They pass half the meal before Siri speaks up again. "What's he like?" she asks, a little curiously.
...Maybe she's thinking about this a little more than he thought. "Well, he's only about one year old right now. So all he does is cry. And giggle. And call me Waa."
Siri snorts. "Typical. What's his name?"
"Anakin."
**w**
It's been a couple of years since Obi-Wan took Anakin to the Temple. Anakin's had to get more used to being without him, but Obi-Wan's still been trying to find the time to go see him whenever he can. Which isn't half as often as he'd like to but it's better than nothing.
Obi-Wan's in his room in the evening when he hears a knock on the door. It taps lightly once then pounds like someone's smacking the door or something.
Who knocks like that?
He goes to open the door, freezing when it snaps open to reveal... Anakin?
What?
He's barely three years old and he's still tiny, far too low to even come close to reaching the doorknob.
But what in the world is he doing here?
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks, incredulously, "What are you doing here?"
Anakin grins up at him
"I miss you," he says, darting into the room, wrapping his arms tightly around Obi-Wan's leg. Obi-Wan reaches down to pat his hair, before prying his grip off so he can crouch on the floor in front of him.
"I missed you too, Ani," Obi-Wan comments, taking his tiny hand in his. "But why are you here?" It's been several weeks since he last saw him.
"I wan'ed to find you."
"...How did you even know where to find me?"
"I felt!" he replies, proudly.
Oh.
He sensed it with the Force. That's... He shouldn't be able to do that? Except Anakin is far more powerful than any Force-sensitive Obi-Wan has ever known.
"You were able to sense me strong enough to find where I was?"
Anakin nods, eagerly.
"But you're not supposed to be out here, are you?"
Anakin's face falls. "No one know. I here secwetly."
"Secretly?" Obi-Wan repeats, incredulously, "You ran away from the creche just to come here?"
"I stay?" he asks, hopefully.
He should probably say no. What he ought to do is take him back to the creche, but it's been a long time since he was last allowed to stay there at night, no matter how upset Anakin is at being there alone. Frankly, Obi-Wan doesn't really understand why Anakin's having such a hard time adjusting and it feels like he's... encouraging it and their attachment, when he's already a senior padawan and should know better. But he doesn't want to just make him leave, to just tell him that they're only family because they're both Jedi, nothing more.
"You can stay," Obi-Wan gives in, "But only for tonight. And you're going back before everyone's awake. Is that understood?"
Anakin smiles up at him innocently with that puppy eyes face, nodding.
Ugh.
How can he be so cute?
Obi-Wan picks him up, moving to the bed to sit down. Anakin settles in his lap, leaning around to look around the room. "Dis you room?" he inquires, curiously.
"Yes, it's my room," he agrees, amused.
"I wanna have one by you."
He really hates to have to disappoint him. "Generally, the new padawan get their own rooms in the same areas, unless another... Knight or Master isn't here anymore. I think all the rooms around here are filled up already."
Anakin pouts. "But I wanna stay with you."
Obi-Wan glances away from him, "We... won't always be able to stay with each other."
He looks up at him, eyes suddenly welling with tears. Oh no. "Why? Why everyone say dat?"
"We have a duty to help people," he explains, "That doesn't mean we can't... care for one another, but we must be ready to put duty before anything else if we want to help."
Anakin looks distinctly unhappy, and he almost wishes he hadn't mentioned it at all.
Something yanks his padawan braid suddenly and he jumps, looking down to see Anakin clutching it with one hand, shoving the end of it in his mouth.
"Anakin, stop that!" he exclaims, trying to pull it away.
Anakin giggles, holding onto it tighter. And now he's drooling all over it.
"Anakin! That's disgusting."
"Why?"
"That's my hair. It's not meant to be chewed on!"
Anakin just bites down on it again.
"...Please don't break my beads?"
Those are important. Not that he could break them. It's more a concern of Anakin accidentally swallowing them or something.
He reaches up, carefully trying to pry it out of Anakin's mouth. "Didn't you eat already? My hair can't taste that good."
"Uhuh."
What is he agreeing with? That he ate or that hair takes good?
"...Then why don't you get to bed?"
Anakin is grabbing for his braid again as Obi-Wan tries to hold it out of reach. Probably best to distract him.
He doesn't have any complaints about bedtime, at least, eagerly crawling in next to Obi-Wan, curling up next to his chest. Obi-Wan slides an arm around his back, holding him close. He probably shouldn't be indulging in this, but he doesn't want to let him go. There's no way he could make himself let go of Anakin and he might as well stop lying to himself about that. He wants Anakin to be here, and there's no way he'll have the heart to make him never do this again.
Even if he wanted to, his puppy eyes are unfairly adorable.
**w**
Of course, Anakin coming to his room every night was not, in fact, a one-time thing. Obi-Wan doesn't know if it's more impressive or terrifying that Anakin is able to use the Force well enough to unlock all the doors in the youngling area and get out of there, all the way across the Temple to Obi-Wan's room every night and then get back without getting caught even once. He's good at using the Force to hide, far better than anyone ought to be. And that is impressive.
Anakin, who's now five years old, is sitting on the edge of the bed, Obi-Wan attempting to feed him ice cream.
Which is probably the biggest mistake of his life, but whatever.
"Mouth fweeze," Anakin giggles as he takes another bite off the spoon.
"Maybe we should save the rest for later," Obi-Wan advises dryly. Before Anakin has too much energy to go to sleep.
The boy vehemently shakes his head but pauses to look up at him. "Is it bad to be strong with the Force?" he asks.
Obi-Wan frowns. "Of course not. Why do you ask?"
"Everyone keeps saying I'm bad because I'm so strong and that it's gonna make me hurt people."
Cold, icy anger surges up in his chest, at the mere thought of someone bullying Anakin like that.
He knows Anakin's never been very happy here. He's never fit in well because of how strong he is, because of the Chosen One prophecy hanging over him, but that other students would tell him that he's dangerous?
"They have no idea what they're talking about," Obi-Wan promises, firmly. He reaches out, squeezing Anakin's shoulder. "Being strong in the Force means you have more potential to help people. There's nothing dangerous about it." Maybe it could be, but Anakin is so Light and fluffy and positive. There's nothing remotely dark about him.
Except that he has a strong attachment which Obi-Wan has been encouraging.
But if it's making Anakin happier – it's even making Obi-Wan so much happier, so much less empty, even if he shouldn't have been feeling empty all the time in the first place because having people care about him shouldn't matter for Jedi – not darker. He doesn't really know what to think about that.
Obi-Wan turns back to the ice cream bowl to give him another bite.
The last time he gave it to Anakin to eat himself, his entire tunic was covered in ice cream drips, and cleaning them up so no one would notice had been a huge pain. Definitely not making that mistake again.
But then he suddenly senses something.
Qui-Gon's coming.
Anyone else, and Obi-Wan would think they were just passing by in the hallway, but Qui-Gon wouldn't be passing by unless he was coming to talk to him.
Oh no.
Obi-Wan's gaze darts wildly around the room. "Someone's coming."
The boy's eyes widen, and he hops off the bed, promptly diving underneath.
...That works.
Obi-Wan hastily stashes the bowl out of sight – because it would look very weird for Qui-Gon to see it – before he hears someone knock on the door.
"Master?" Obi-Wan asks, trying to play perfectly casual when he feels like he was already caught red-handed.
Qui-Gon's gaze darts around the room, something flickering in his expression that Obi-Wan's learned to realize means he's sensing something.
Oh great.
This is bad.
"The Council gave us another urgent mission. We'll have to leave in the morning. It's to Mandalore."
"Mandalore?" Obi-Wan repeats, dubiously, "What's happening there?"
"The planet is descending into civil war. It's going to be a dangerous mission."
He quickly squashes his well of disappointment at having to leave. This is why attachments are dangerous. He should be happy to help, not thinking about how much time it means he'll have to be away from Anakin. Who he somehow needs to smuggle out of his room.
"Yes, I'll look into it in the morning," he offers, trying not to let his gaze shift around the room.
"Are you not alone?" Qui-Gon inquires suddenly.
Obi-Wan's heart nearly stops. "Why would you think that?"
Wait. That probably sounded even more suspicious.
"I can sense it, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replies flatly, looking very pointedly at the bed.
"Hi?" Anakin's cheerful, childish voice calls and Obi-Wan turns to see him poking his head out from under the bed. He looks way more cheerful than guilty. Somehow.
"Anakin?" Qui-Gon asks, surprised and mused.
Qui-Gon did meet him in the creche once. He's the one who's convinced that Anakin is the Chosen One. The Council seemed... wary. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to think of the prophecy or the meaning behind it. But really, it doesn't matter much. He's his little brother, his family. That's all that matters to him, even if it shouldn't.
"Need I ask how you got here in the middle of the night?" Qui-Gon asks.
"We – I – I was going to take him back?" Obi-Wan splutters, guiltily.
This is bad. No one was supposed to know about this, least of all his master. What if someone starts watching Anakin more closely so he can't come here every night anymore?
Anakin crawls the rest of the way out from under the bed, standing up. "We miss each other," he explains, quietly, "No one wants me to see him."
...Well, they can be direct too.
Probably more likely to make things worse, though.
Qui-Gon approaches Anakin, crouching in front of him. "There's nothing wrong with you wanting to see him," he replies, "Or for him to want to see you. Caring for one another is natural. You only have to know when to control it, which isn't a concern right now. But I can't say that coming all the way here when you're supposed to be in bed is a behavior I should encourage."
"But I've been doing it a long time! No one will know," Anakin insists, hopefully. Obi-Wan winces. Did he have to – "Pwease don't tell anyone."
Qui-Gon chuckles.
...He thinks this is funny?
"I don't have to, so long as you are returning to your room before bedtime without causing a commotion."
Before bedtime? Well technically not exactly, but –
"He gets to bed on time," Obi-Wan interjects, feeling still ridiculously awkward about the whole thing.
"That's good, but I do think finding other times to speak to each other would be better."
"Like what?" The constant frowns from the masters make him feel unreasonably guilty for going to visit him, and he doesn't know what to do. It can't be easy for Anakin, either.
"Perhaps if you develop a sudden obsession for creche duty. I'm sure none of the masters will mind."
Obi-Wan groans. "I'll consider it." More like, he definitely won't but he doesn't really want to tell him that. Little children are strange. And complicated. The only one he wants to try to understand is Anakin.
Qui-Gon stands. "And just so you know, little one, hiding under the bed isn't a good hiding pot."
"But it works on everyone," Anakin insists.
He laughs. "There might be times it doesn't."
"I can't believe you're encouraging him," Obi-Wan says, mind-blown.
"I'm not," he replies, dryly. "But I suppose we can discuss the mission to Mandalore in the morning." He turns for the door.
"Bye!" Anakin calls cheerfully after him, waving.
"That could have gone worse," Obi-Wan comments, breathing out a sigh of relief.
"Why? He won't bite, right?"
Obi-Wan snorts. "No, I suppose he's one of the Jedi Masters who wouldn't bite." Honestly, Anakin is so naïve sometimes it's adorable.
But... it's somehow a little relieving that Qui-Gon knows how much they talk to each other, that Obi-Wan can talk to someone about Anakin during the times he's away from the Temple.
**w**
Obi-Wan knew Mandalore was going to be a drawn-out mission. He just didn't expect it to last for over a year.
Once, he wouldn't have cared. Before he had Anakin to miss. They've never been apart this long since they first met. It's been a constant, gnawing ache deep inside of him that he can never cease thinking about it and it's only gotten worse and worse the more time goes on. It hurts almost physically sometimes. He misses him, constantly, ceaselessly, more than he thought possible.
So despite the friendship he might have struck up with the new Duchess Satine while on Mandalore, he's still happy to be leaving.
He could never miss Satine – or anyone – as much as he misses Anakin.
"You're leaving?" she inquires, obviously not happy. He doesn't even need to be able to sense it to see that much.
"I have a duty. I think mine here is done," he replies.
Her expression shadows the slightest bit. "Yes, I suppose it is."
He hesitates, torn between saying something else and just dropping it. They're friends, but... they're just friends. Even if he's thought about something more for a brief while. But it didn't really matter because, with Anakin as part of the Order, he would never think of leaving, no matter what he might want with Satine. "I have a brother," Obi-Wan tells her, finally, "He's... much younger than me. I have to watch over him."
Satine's expression smooths over a little, something like longing flickering through her gaze. "Good luck, then," she replies, "I have a younger sibling, too. I would do whatever I have to, to watch over her if she was still... here."
"You had a sister all this time and I never heard?"
"I can say the same to you about your brother."
Okay, that's fair. He has to wonder a little about this "sister" though because the comment doesn't imply that she's dead.
Not that it's his concern anymore.
"Maybe we'll see each other again someday. May the Force be with you." What he wants most of all right now is to see Anakin again.
**w**
Obi-Wan's practically bursting with eagerness when he gets back to the Temple, making a beeline for the area where the Initiates stay. The younglings are just coming out of class and Obi-Wan shifts impatiently, trying to spot Anakin in the large group.
"Obi-Wan!"
The excited squeal catches his attention, and Obi-Wan turns to see a tiny blonde-haired blur flying at him, jumping into Obi-Wan's arms.
He catches Anakin, holding him tightly and pointedly ignoring all the stares they're getting. None of the other younglings have anyone to give them this kind of attention. None of them should, but...
Sometimes, Obi-Wan wonders if this is part of why the others are so jealous of Anakin, why they make fun of him all the time for being a bad Jedi, but he can't just break this off.
"You've grown," Obi-Wan observes.
Anakin's six now and he's noticeably taller than the last time he saw him.
"You've been gone for foreverrrr," Anakin says, wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan's neck, resting his head on his shoulder. "I didn't know when you were gonna come back."
"I got trapped on Mandalore, and I couldn't leave." It's beyond relieving to have Anakin in his arms again, with the tangible reminder that he's here. "But I have a lot of stories to tell you about the mission." He was trying to keep track of all the cool things he knew Anakin would like to hear about.
"I have stories to tell you, too," Anakin replies, smiling brightly.
"Do you?" Obi-Wan inquiries, amused, "Tell me about it."
"I saw your friends," Anakin replies, cheerfully.
People are still staring at them and it's making Obi-Wan as self-conscious as he is annoyed, so he reluctantly sets Anakin back on the floor. The boy promptly grabs his hand. "Which friends?"
"Well, look who's back," a familiar voice drawls and Obi-Wan looks up to see Quinlan Vos approaching. Siri is right behind him.
"You again?" Obi-Wan greets, though he's admittedly more happy to see Quinlan – and definitely Siri – than he's showing outwardly. He hasn't seen them in well over a year. They only run into each other if they happen to be in the padawan dining hall or in the training areas at the same time, which is pretty rare.
"Missed me?" Quinlan asks, cheerfully.
"No. I never did enjoy hanging out with you."
"That's not what he said!" Anakin pipes up, looking between them.
Oh no.
"What has he been telling you?"
"All about your fun adventures together," he replies, eyes shining with excitement.
Anakin and Quinlan meeting was one thing Obi-Wan hoped would never happen. They're going to be mutual terrors, especially when Anakin's older.
"He kept asking for more," Quinlan says, amused.
"Uhuh," Anakin agrees, smiling at the Kiffar.
"What were you doing in the creche to begin with?" Obi-Wan queries,
"I took a padawan," Quinlan replies.
"She's nice," Anakin interjects, exchanging a look with Quinlan. Both their smiles are so mischievous it's terrifying. Oh great.
"I suppose the padawan is as much a terror as you are and as you're attempting to make him?" Obi-Wan asks.
Both of them laugh.
Oh no.
Are they ganging up against him?
"Her name is Aayla. She's wayyyy older than me," Anakin replies.
Well, at least Anakin met another youngling who he's actually close with. He even has a lot of problems with his Initiate group, and it hurts to see how lonely he is all the time.
"I'll see you later. Both of you," Quilan decides, moving to go.
"It's good to see you again, Obi-Wan," Siri remarks.
"You too, Siri. Looking for a padawan too?"
"I don't think I'm quite ready to start thinking about that when I'm still a padawan myself. What about you?"
Obi-Wan's gaze flickers to Anakin. There's not even a question about who he intends to take. "Not yet."
Siri follows his gaze. "You think the Council will allow that?"
"Why wouldn't they?" Anakin objects, expression faltering a little, his tiny hand suddenly practically crushing Obi-Wan's fingers. He lightly squeezes his hand back.
"Your attachment," she replies.
"But I still wanna help! That's all I wanna do. It's not making me a bad Jedi," Anakin argues, almost desperately.
"Don't worry about it right now, Anakin," Obi-Wan interrupts. "We'll find a way to make it work." He's not going to accept anything else. Maybe being around Anakin has started to make him a bit more disobedient like Qui-Gon because he genuinely doesn't really care if the Council disagrees. He'll find a way to do it anyway.
"Well good luck, both of you," Siri says, nodding to them as she turns to go.
Obi-Wan would like to talk to her a bit longer, but it's Anakin he's missed desperately. He crouches in front of him, hands resting on his shoulders. "I don't think I'll be a padawan much longer," he tells him. He's already twenty-two, after all. "And I'll be ready to take you as soon as I can. Don't worry about it."
Anakin nods, a hopeful look flickering across his face. "Did you know Tatooine has rats that eat people?" he asks.
Obi-Wan blinks. "What? Where did you hear that?"
"Mastah Vos told me about it," he replies, grinning.
"...No, I didn't know that. Did you know Mandalore has humanoid creatures that eat people?"
Anakin perks up, instantly. Yes, he has a long story to give him... but it'll have to wait until tonight because Anakin needs to go to his next class.
**w**
Obi-Wan's been looking forward to the day he's Knighted for a long time.
He's twenty-four now, the day he officially becomes a Jedi knight. It's different not to have Qui-Gon as his master anymore, to get used to being entirely on his own, but it gives him a bit more freedom, too. Like the freedom to go see Anakin more often.
But it also means he has greater responsibilities to the Order. It means all the younglings are looking up to him to be an example and he has to set a good image for them.
Anakin's only eight years old right now, though, so he won't take him as a padawan quite yet. But it won't be long before he does, and then he won't have to worry about hiding their relationship and closeness anymore.
**w**
Obi-Wan isn't sure what woke him, but he jolts awake with a start in the middle of the night. He turns his head sideways instinctively, to where nine-year-old Anakin is curled up in bed next to him. A quiet whine escapes his lips, and he rolls over, thrashing out wildly suddenly, nearly smacking Obi-Wan in the face.
That... is not normal.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks, pushing himself up onto his elbow and reaching out to lightly shake Anakin's shoulder. "Wake up!"
Anakin twists again, whining quietly before he abruptly jerks awake. "Obi-Wan?" he asks, visibly relieved but he's obviously still scared. His eyes are glinting with tears.
Obi-Wan runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it back from his face. "Nightmare?"
That's kind of weird. He doesn't think he's ever had a nightmare himself before.
Okay, maybe once in a while. Like about the time that he was served enormous, living beetles for a meal when he was on a mission. He thinks that's a perfectly justifiable reason to have nightmares even if he'd kill before admitting it bothered him so much.
"I don't think so," Anakin whispers, "It felt real. I think – I think it was a vision?"
Obi-Wan frowns.
That's... strange. Visions are very unusual. He doesn't know of any Jedi who even have them. Anakin's mentioned things like that before, but he never had such a bad reaction about anything, so Obi-Wan never really took it seriously. "What did you see?"
Anakin hesitates long enough that an unsettling feeling grows in his gut. "It was of Master Qui-Gon," he whispers finally, "Someone – they – It was a Sith, I think. He had a red lightsaber and he looked scary. You were there but you were stuck behind a ray shield. You couldn't – couldn't stop it." Tears flood his eyes, spilling down his cheeks.
Obi-Wan feels frozen.
A vision of Qui-Gon dying? But... that doesn't make any sense. "The Sith have been gone for a millennia," he objects. Not that he's doubting the vision, especially when Anakin's strength in the Force probably means he's more likely to have a vision than anyone else, but what he's saying doesn't seem possible.
"I know," Anakin says, shakily, "But I don't understand. It was so real. It felt like – like – "
"We won't let it happen," he promises, "I'll talk to Master Qui-Gon in the morning. We'll make sure it doesn't happen. Everything will be okay."
He nods, sinking back against the pillow though he still looks distressed and scared.
Obi-Wan lays back down next to him, but he can't get it out of his head either. He doesn't want to think there's anything to it, but he can't just brush it off and convince himself it's nothing, either.
**w**
They talk to Qui-Gon about the vision the next morning.
That he seems more thoughtful than concerned only puts Obi-Wan even more on edge. "You must keep yourself focused on the here and now," Qui-Gon says gently, looking mostly at Anakin.
"But – but I saw you..." Anakin trails off, looking close to tears again.
"I know," Qui-Gon replies, "And it's... something I will take precautions about. The vision is troubling."
"You think it is a vision, then?" Obi-Wan clarifies, his gut flipping.
"Yes," Qui-Gon admits. The confirmation only makes him more scared, "But whatever is intended to happen, the Force will guide us to that place. If this is my fate, we cannot change it. If this is simply a warning that we can change, then we will find a way. But until we have seen signs of a Sith returning, you shouldn't need to worry that it's about to happen."
"Okay," Anakin whispers, still staring up at him fearfully.
Qui-Gon briefly rests a comforting hand on Anakin's shoulder. "For now, focus on your studies. I'll be alright, little one."
Anakin nods.
Obi-Wan wishes he could just accept it, but he can't stop thinking about it.
**w**
He especially can't stop thinking about it when the dreams don't stop. Anakin keeps seeing it again and again every night. It's been a couple of weeks. He told the Jedi master in charge of the younglings that he was seeing a Sith, and they told the Council, but Obi-Wan doesn't think they thought much of it.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are sent on a mission together to Naboo not long later, to stop the Trade Federation. He had briefly let the vision slip from mind, until the doors that lead to the palace slide open to reveal a dark-robed figure with a red lightsaber.
Obi-Wan's never felt a chilling, coiling dread inside of him worse than he does at that moment.
He does everything he can, fighting viciously without holding back, trying to stay near Qui-Gon as they fight off the Sith.
It's not enough.
He knows what's about to happen only a moment before it does before the Sith runs Qui-Gon through with his lightsaber.
Obi-Wan has no regrets about cutting him in half. All he cares about is that Qui-Gon is dying. Anakin warned him about this, and he still failed. He wasn't able to defend his master and now he's gone.
The world still feels hazy with grief, at the funeral. It feels unreal. He wishes Anakin could be here, at least, but he won't get that chance.
Feels like Qui-Gon should be next to him too, but he's gone forever and he's never coming back. How is he supposed to go back to the Temple and tell Anakin what happened?
But as it turns out, Obi-Wan doesn't have to.
He goes to find Anakin right off, but one look at the ashen look on his face, the way it looks like he's been crying, he obviously already knows.
Anakin runs to him without a word, throwing his arms around his waist. Obi-Wan crouches to catch him, resisting the urge to cry again only because he has an audience, but he's never been more grateful to have Anakin in his arms.
That doesn't stop the sudden cold icy fear inside of him, of what will happen if he loses Anakin too. It could happen so easily. Anakin's far less able to protect himself than Qui-Gon was. It would be so easy.
Or someone else could decide to take Anakin as a padawan and then they'll hardly be with each other anymore and Obi-Wan definitely won't be able to try to keep him safe. Even though considering that he already failed once, he rather doubts he'd be able to do a good job at that with a padawan.
He always thought that when he took a padawan, Qui-Gon would be there when he needed advice. But now he's gone.
At least he and Anakin know each other already, so trying to navigate the change in their relationship, with Obi-Wan actually in charge of taking care of him shouldn't be too difficult. Anakin means everything to him. He always has, and sometimes he feels like far more than his little brother. He's the center of his entire focus and he always has been, like... probably a lot like how Shmi viewed both of them. It's a little weird, but it's what it is.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan starts, trying to keep his voice level, "Do you think you're ready to be a padawan?"
Anakin looks up at him, biting his lip, eyes still shining with tears. "Yeah," he whispers, shakily, "I'm ready."
"Then I'll tell our choice to the Council... padawan."
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