I had been waiting for this moment for so long. I had been patient, biding my time, sitting on my hands and biting my tongue, and now the moment had finally arrived. Was the wait worth it? Was my patience going to pay off?

The answer: Oh yes, it was so worth it. And yes, it was paying off bigtime.

I'd seen my selection for Bad Movie Night dozens of times, so I wasn't paying attention to the screen but watching the changing expressions on my husband's face as I sat curled up beside him on the loveseat in the darkness lit only by the glow from the screen. I watched him go from puzzled, to disbelieving, to utter dismay, and then resigned. I would pay for this later in the form of what I hoped would be a delicious punishment, but for now I was savoring his reactions.

I hadn't picked the film for Bad Movie Night for a long time. The last time I did, I selected Showgirls. We had an uproarious time making fun of the movie, the bad acting, the horrible dialogue, the supposed "sexiness" of the erotic scenes. By the time the movie was over, Loki had a throbbing headache and declared he would not be attending Bad Movie Night again if I were the one choosing the movies.

That had been around a year and a half ago. Loki had been only half-teasing about me not being allowed to select the movies anymore. The others and I decided to give it several months for him to calm down and hopefully forget that I had, erm, discerning tastes in entertainment before giving me the assignment of picking the night's cringiest experience in cinematic consumption.

Frankly, I was surprised we hadn't done this one sooner.

But as I watched Loki staring open-mouthed at what was transpiring upon the screen, I decided I was happy that we had waited. I was struggling though, because it was taking every ounce of self-control I could muster not to collapse in helpless giggles.

"Has this man ever studied a woman's anatomy before?" Thor asked as he cocked his head while peering at the screen. Natasha and Yelena were both playing the drinking game that the denizens of the internet had invented to go along with the film and already were reduced to cackling like maniacs at the action. Steve was rubbing his temples, Bucky looked like he wanted to crawl away and hide somewhere, and Derrick was happily munching popcorn as we all lounged on various pieces of furniture in the theater room in Sanctuary. Bad Movie Night had been relocated to accommodate the former archangel and one of my siblings, who couldn't leave Sanctuary without being drained of their lifeforce. The movie room Tony had at Avengers Compound was nice, but this room was cozier, and no one had wanted Derrick to feel left out, least of all their partner Bucky.

"That man," Loki breathed in sheer disbelief. "Is copulating with her navel."

"I would say it might be a titty fuck, but he's aiming too low even for that," Nat commented while chugging down the shot she had to take because it was a sex scene, and one of the rules of the drinking game was that you had to take a drink at every sex scene. "I would wonder if he were still a virgin when he made this movie, except even most virgins know that it doesn't go there."

"How long is this scene going to last? Pet, I thought one of the rules of Bad Movie Night was that you could not choose pornography?" Loki continued, sounding a tad dazed. It seemed like this was a truly surreal, almost out-of-body, experience for him...and we were only about five minutes into the movie.

"Believe it or not, it's not porn," Derrick informed him while tossing more popcorn into their mouth. "And let us not forget...the same person who chose this film also picked Showgirls and our 'no porn' rule didn't stop her."

"Don't remind me," Loki growled.

"Technically," I choked out. " Showgirls isn't porn."

"Just barely," Nat retorted.

"I do recall a large number of nude women in that film," Thor added. "And a copulation scene which was as puzzling to watch as this one. If I recall correctly, it was a navel being humped in that movie as well."

Nat and Yelena both stopped laughing long enough to pause and think. "Yes," Yelena said slowly. "If I remember the angle right...yes, it was his belly button the female protagonist was humping."

"Would you all please cease speaking of that movie? It took me a very long time to get the images out of my mind, and your prattling is forcing it all back. I may actually suffer a flashback at any moment," Loki didn't so much request as much as demand. I knew most of it was an act. Loki had enjoyed making fun of the movie as much as everyone else did, although some of it really did prove to be almost too much for even him to stomach.

Kind of like what we were seeing now.

The scene mercifully ended, to melt into the part where the female antagonist informed her mother that she no longer loved Johnny because he was so boring. Then she called Johnny's best friend, invited him over to her apartment which was lit by candles, and she was wearing a negligee, and we came to the infamous line: "I mean, the candles, the music, the sexy dress...what's going on here?"

Nat and Yelena were both about to die from laughter. Thor's face screwed up into an expression of utter disbelief. "Is this man impaired in some way?"

Loki put his forehead into the palm of his hand.

Don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh, I chanted to myself silently. If I laughed, Loki would add more to my upcoming punishment. Oh, he knew I was amused. There was no hiding that from him. But if I laughed out loud, he might start the punishment at that moment regardless of the others being present.

Then Lisa and Mark engaged each other in yet another love scene. The Widows each took another shot, Bucky went "Oh my God," and put his metal palm to his face, and Steve cringed for what had to be the fiftieth time this evening.

Cue... " Again?! Are you certain this is not pornography?" Loki's voice was a combination of awe, irritation, and disgust.

I couldn't breathe. I. Could. Not. Breathe.

I did not know how I was going to make it the rest of the movie. Especially when Loki exclaimed "Has this man...this Wiseau...ever conversed with another person? No one is that dismissive when their mother informs them that they are ill with a fatal disease. At least, I hope they would not be!" He watched some more. "And what does she mean she has to go? She has just arrived! This movie makes no sense, there is no logic or reason to it, and...I am concerned about this man, Pet. Is he well?"

"People have been asking that for over twenty years," Derrick told him. "No one's been able to figure him out, and most have stopped trying, even the guy who wrote the book based on the making of this film."

"There is a book?" Loki sounded dumbfounded. He glanced at me for confirmation.

"There is. I read it," I answered in a cracked voice. "I also saw the movie based on that book."

Loki stared at me. "There is a movie based on a book which was written about the making of this film."

I nodded. Loki blinked and then turned back to the screen.

We watched some more. Bucky inhaled his Coke down the wrong pipe during the scene where Johnny and Mark were sitting in the coffee shop and Johnny came out and asked Mark, "So anyway, how is your sex life?" Derrick rubbed his back as he coughed and choked, his eyes watering. Steve had given up retaining any composure whatsoever. Nat and Yelena were wasted, and we still had a good bit of movie to go. Thor had decided to join their drinking game, and while he wasn't as drunk, he was a fair bit of the way there.

Loki was...done. Just done. He was just staring at the screen with his lips parted and his eyes bearing a thousand-yard stare. It was an expression that just screamed "How could she do this to me?" The She in question being me of course.

Finally, it was over. Nat, Yelena, and Thor clapped and cheered. Steve had a pillow pressed to his face and I wondered if he was screaming into it. Bucky was already browsing Derrick's impressive Blu-Ray collection, no doubt in the desperate hope of finding something to wipe his mind clean after the trainwreck we had all just witnessed.

I watched Loki, not daring to say anything. If I started talking, I would start laughing, especially since the annoyed amusement coming through loud and clear over our bond wasn't helping to curb the brat in me at all. He rubbed his hands over his face and stared into space for several minutes. "Pet?"

"Yes?" I managed to squeak out of my strained throat.

"You are no longer allowed to choose the entertainment for the evening," Loki declared, still not looking at me. "And you will not be allowed to do so for a very long time."

I wasn't too bummed about that. He would forget this evening's ruling in another year anyway. Maybe.

Bucky found The Disaster Artist and he popped it into the player, and we all sat back and watched to attempt to obtain some form of enlightenment about the man behind the disaster he had authored.

I was very proud of myself as I relaxed in the passenger seat of Loki's Rolls Royce. I still hadn't laughed, even though I had wanted to all evening. Despite Loki's commentary during the second movie, I had managed to keep my cool. I wondered if Loki felt as proud as I glanced at his profile in the darkness of the car illuminated by the lights from the city as he navigated the vehicle down the streets towards our home.

"The point of Bad Movie Night is to make fun of some of the worst movies ever made," I pointed out to him, unable to stand the quiet any longer.

"I am well aware of that, Pet, having attended many of these evenings over the past years since I have settled on this world," Loki told me.

"Well...the movie we saw tonight is called The Citizen Kane of Bad Movies, and for good reason." I sounded reasonable. I thought I sounded reasonable. "I mean, we had to get around to it sometime."

Loki sighed. "Pet. Light of my life. I love you."

I made an affirmative noise in my throat.

"You are everything I have ever dreamed of and more."

I didn't let myself get choked up, because I knew Loki was only setting me up for the shoe he was about to drop.

"If you ever make me sit through something such as that again, I cannot be held responsible for what I may do to you."

Of course, the shoe he usually dropped sounded more like a promise of something fun rather than a dire threat. "You know you only get me excited when you talk like that, so knock it off. You thought the movie was hilarious, admit it."

The corner of Loki's lip lifted just a hair. It was a minute fraction, and most people would not have noticed it. Having been with him as long as I had, having gotten to know him, and given how closely I gazed at him, it might as well have been a neon sign for me. Yep, he enjoyed it.

Loki took my hand suddenly, raised it to his lips, and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. My stomach did that flip flop it always performed whenever he touched me like this. It didn't matter how long we were together, each time he touched or kissed me was like the first time. I never took it for granted, especially after being convinced I would never enjoy something like it again after being broken by the fallen angels who had abducted me when I was still human.

"I never can stay irritated with you for long," he commented, my hand still clasped in his as he laid both in his lap, the other hand on the wheel.

"You like it when I annoy you. You'd be bored with someone who was well behaved twenty-four seven."

"Do you plan on being a good Pet for me tonight, however?" Loki asked, and his heated gaze shifted over to pin me.

I was warm in an instant. "I think I ca--"

Loki's reflexes were lightning quick, thanks to his centuries of battle training and experience. His mind was even faster, the deadliest weapon in his arsenal, and the reason he was Asgard's Master Sorcerer. He was training me, and I had also received training from the Dora Milaje, King T'Challa himself, and some of the warriors who resided in New Asgard, including Valkryie and my brother-in-law Thor. I was still receiving even more training in both fighting and magic from my new "siblings" of the Angelic Hierarchy, which included a few Archangels.

So, the crash didn't succeed in hurting either of us. It was impressive that the projective, whatever it was, managed to hit us in the first place given Loki's skills at the wheel, his uncanny situational awareness, and his protective nature, not to mention my senses.

The smoke cleared with some magical aid, and I was pretty sure my arms were going to be permanently bruised if Loki's grip on them tightened anymore. The shields both of us had snapped up surrounded us, the emerald green of his and the brilliant silvery-white of mine melding and swirling to create a shimmering kaleidoscope looking like water sliding over deep dark foliage. Loki's car was gone, destroyed. I could see pieces of it scattered here and there amongst other debris.

I didn't hear any other people, didn't smell any blood. There didn't seem to be any casualties, thank God.

But I felt something else.

"Loki," I gripped his arm, my knuckles turning white. "We're going to need help."

He had that faraway expression on his face that meant he was projecting long-distance, no doubt astrally contacting Thor or someone else to get their asses here.

Because we were in trouble.

My brain buzzed, my vision hazed, and my ears rang. I had been getting better about not losing it completely when I saw wings, but after my experiences at the hands of those fallen angels, it was still hard for me to keep a clear head when I saw them. Especially when they were springing from the backs of the enemy.

And this angel, with her silver hair, amethyst-colored eyes, and wings of shiny bronze, was an enemy.

And she wasn't alone. "Get them!" Hektaniel screamed and the others with her dove at us.

In an eyeblink, several angelic wings were shredded by daggers thrown by a very pissed off Asgardian-by-way-of-Jotunheim god. At the same time, they were thrown back by a tidal wave of green energy that flashed up and battered them. My own silver-white magic followed, aimed at another group that were trying to come at us from the other side.

I had thought my siblings had gotten most of the Beyonder's fallen angels during that whole fiasco. Where did these come from and why were they here now?

My heart slammed in my temples, and I felt my mind swim, my vision blanking out. Unlike the past times I had blacked out, I welcomed this one. Whenever I blacked out while fighting these fallen ones, I woke up with a piece of torn wing in my grip and my clothes soaked with angelic blood that wasn't mine. I had even woken up to find a severed arm in my hands once.

Whatever it was that caused me to basically turn into a mindless angel-killing animal, I wanted it now because there were a lot of these things, and if any of them hurt Loki...

Energy blasts hammered at the shields Loki and I had up. Then I heard him yell out and looked over to see his shield fall and a swarm of winged things descending on him.

No.

I thrust my hand out and pushed with my mind while gripping the charm that allowed me to teleport to the Silver City in my other hand.

The angels had him on the ground and were counting on sheer numbers to keep him there, when Loki looked at me and I saw his mouth shape the word NO. I heard him scream it along our bond as well.

But he vanished anyway.

I gasped and stumbled, catching myself with my arms braced on the asphalt before my head met pavement. Whatever I just did had drained me, but it didn't matter. Loki was safe. He'd be angry with me, but he was safe.

My head rang and my ears buzzed, and I tasted blood in my mouth. Then pain exploded in my head, and the world went dark and silent.