It was oh-three-hundred hours when an insistent beeping dragged Buzz from his restless, half-sleeping state. He thought at first it was his alarm, then he saw the time and remembered his shift didn't start for another four hours. Then he remembered everything else.
Rubbing his eyes, he sat up in the creaky bunk and switched on the monitor on the dresser. A message had come through from the LGMs. A vidphone number for a Mrs. Kala Comet.
Blast.
He took a deep breath. What time was it on Ceta II? Not that it mattered; the sensible thing to do would be to go back to sleep and tackle it in the morning. But who was he kidding? There was no way he'd sleep now.
Fumbling around in the dresser for the spare shirt he kept there—he had to look at least somewhat presentable for this sort of call—he tried to rehearse what he was going to say. The most important thing was to keep his cool. He didn't trust himself around her. She'd never brought out the best in him.
That was almost twenty years ago, he reminded himself. But if what he suspected was true, he had whole new reasons to be mad.
His hands shook as he entered in the number. Why could he face a hundred Hornets without breaking a sweat, but not this? The screen filled with static and a flashing CONNECTING message, and he held his breath.
When her face appeared, it was as if the two decades vanished, and he was still that hotheaded young man, fresh out of the Academy, raring to start his new life. She was just as beautiful as she'd always been, with her fine cheekbones drawing his gaze to her eyes—so brilliant and alive—long black hair pooling over her shoulders, and ruby lips against brown skin, lips he still remembered the taste of. Perhaps a wrinkle or two had appeared, and perhaps there were a few hints of grey at her temples, but they barely registered.
She stared at him. Her mouth opened for a moment, then closed. Then she tried to smile. "Buzz," she said. "It's been a long time."
Focus, he told himself. "Hello, Kala. It's, uh, good to see you."
"You too." Her voice was a little stiff. "What can I do for you?"
"I think there's something we need to talk about."
She arched a thin eyebrow. "As I recall, last time we spoke you made it clear you'd said all you had to say to me."
"There's... been a new development."
"After twenty years? That seems unlikely."
He realised he was gripping the side of the dresser. "As unlikely as me having a daughter?"
Silence. She'd always had a good poker face, but Buzz's instincts had been well honed since they last met, and he thought he read fear in her eyes.
"What are you talking about?" she said at last.
"I think you know."
"Do I?"
"Cut the games, Kala." Deep breaths, deep breaths. "There's an eighteen-year-old kid on Star Command who all the tests are saying is mine. Now, if that's true, there's only one woman in the galaxy who could be her mother."
Her lip quivered, for a brief second. "Oh."
"So, just for once, tell me the truth."
She sighed. "Buzz, I never thought you'd... if I'd imagined there was a chance..."
His grip tightened. "That what, I'd find out?"
"Buzz—"
"When did you know, Kala?" He clenched his jaw. "When did you know?"
She looked at him imploringly. "It was after we ended things, I swear."
"You still could've told me!"
"Buzz, you weren't even speaking to me!"
"Well, what do you expect, after you dumped me for some—" He stopped himself. Cool head, remember? Reopening old wounds wouldn't help anyone. "Look, maybe I wouldn't have answered your calls, but you knew my friends. You knew where I lived. If you'd wanted to tell me, you would have."
She at least had the decency to avert her eyes, embarrassed. "All right. Yes. But what else could I do? When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked. Franz was ready to head for the hills the moment I told him. I only persuaded him to stick around because we thought it might be his."
"Oh, so he knew?"
"Well," she sniffed, "if the baby had been his, it wouldn't have been any of your business, would it?"
He tried to keep his voice calm. "And when you realised she wasn't?"
"The blue hair was a bit of a clue," Kala admitted. "Then Franz did leave. I lost both of you, and I had a child I wasn't in any way prepared to raise. I... I did think about telling you, but wouldn't that have been selfish? To foist a baby on Star Command's most promising up-and-coming Ranger?"
Buzz kept quiet. There was too much he wanted to say.
"A friend of mine recommended a very discreet adoption agency on Trade World. No one would ever be able to trace her back to me. Or you. That... seemed like the best thing for all three of us."
"You mean the easiest thing for you."
Her expression darkened. "It was the hardest choice I ever made, Buzz."
"At least you had one!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I truly never thought you would know."
As if that made it better. "Well, I do. And now that girl and I have to pick up the pieces while you get to keep on living your life." He wrinkled his nose. "Do you even know her name?"
Kala blinked. "It was Savita," she said softly. "I named her."
"So this is where you've been—slamming down energy drinks in the Star Command cafeteria all night. Talk about setting a good example for your fellow cadets, huh?"
"Not all night." Savy winced at the too-loud whirring of the robot's treads in the empty cafeteria. She slurped the last of her can. "Shouldn't you be recharging or something?"
"I could say the same for you, missy. You're on a shuttle to the Academy in four hours. It's your first day, remember?"
"Who says I'm going?"
The whirring stopped. She didn't bother looking up, but she imagined he'd just folded his arms. "Well, I say, for one!" XR insisted. "Come on, kid, do you know how long it took me to write that sponsorship letter?"
She sighed. "Don't take it personally, XR. It's not about you. It's… everything, you know?"
"Yeah. Everything." He hopped up onto the seat across from her. "You okay, Savy?"
"What do you think?"
He was mercifully quiet, allowing Savy a moment to rub her temple and crack open another of the cans she'd wrung from the vending machine.
"I should probably call my parents," she muttered. "Ask for a ride back to Trade World."
"Savy…" XR paused. "Don't do anything without thinking it through, will you?"
"I haven't been able to do anything but think."
"Have you talked to Buzz?"
She thunked the can down hard on the table in reply.
"Look," he said, "do I have a clue what's going on here? No way! I mean, come on, Buzz Lightyear has a secret kid? That makes as much sense as King Nova dancing the samba with a Grounder. But if it's true then there must be a good explanation, right?"
"A good explanation for the pride of Star Command being eighteen years behind on child support? For him abandoning his kid on freaking Trade World?"
XR frowned. "He didn't abandon you."
"You don't know that."
"Hey, I know Buzz, okay? Trust me on this."
Trust him. She rolled her eyes. How was she supposed to trust anything now?
"And whatever Buzz did or didn't do," XR continued, "what's that got to do with you giving up on your dreams?"
She rested her chin in her hand and looked at him. Even through her jittery, sleep-deprived vision she could see the earnest look in his eyes. "XR, have you ever wished you could be something else?"
"What—like not a robot?"
"No. Being a robot is fine. What I mean is, you were literally built to be a Space Ranger, right?"
He nodded.
"You didn't get to choose that. It was programmed into you."
"So?"
"So how do you know it's what you really want?" she asked. "I thought I'd made a choice—that I wanted this. But I'm here because of Lightyear. In more ways than one, apparently. He pushed me towards this. It's his stupid Ranger blood I have in my veins. It's all about him. What about me?"
XR folded his stubby fingers together and stared down at the table. For a while he was quiet. Then: "You think I've never wondered what kind of life I'd have chosen if it were up to me? I mean, look at me, Savy. Am I the kind of guy who wants to be running toward the danger? Who'd be flying into Zurg Space to rescue kidnapped diplomats when I could be in the sun somewhere surrounded by beach babes? Are you kidding? No way I would've signed up for Star Command!"
"But you never got that choice. You're Star Command property. You've literally got their emblem etched into you. I bet they wouldn't even let you quit."
"Oh, I could quit," he said. "No one knows this, but the commander filed the paperwork to have me and XL recognised as his legal offspring. That grants us full personhood under the law. I haven't quit because I've never wanted to."
"But you said—"
"What, that I didn't choose the life I got? Who does! Just because I wouldn't have chosen to be a hero doesn't mean I don't like it."
She turned away. "So you're saying I should go to the Academy, is that it?"
"I'm not saying anything. I mean, what do I know? I just don't want you to throw it away on some angry whim before you figure out what you really want."
Her lip quivered. "Yeah? What am I supposed to do? The shuttle leaves in four hours. That doesn't give me a whole lot of time to decide the entire course of my life, does it?"
"Of course not." His grin caught her off guard. "That's why I spoke to my pop before I got here. The Academy is gonna give you an extra week to sort things out before you have to be in class. So relax, kid."
She felt her eyes grow annoyingly wet again. "Wait, really?"
He nodded.
"You should've led with that, you idiot!" Savy smiled for the first time since Buzz had broken the news. "You're… you're the best." She was going to leave it at that because her voice was already cracking, but there was no one else in the cafeteria. Screw it, she thought, and she hugged him. His hard metal casing was cold against her skin, but comforting in a way she desperately needed. There was something solid and dependable about hugging a robot that you just didn't get with organics. When she shut her eyes she could almost imagine it was one of her parents, and that everything was going to be okay. "Thanks, XR," she whispered.
Walking the hall as he prepared to start his shift, Buzz fought against the feeling that every eye was on him, that every greeting had a hidden meaning behind it. They didn't know, he told himself. Star Command's rumour mill might work quickly, but he trusted his team to keep quiet. And Savy certainly wasn't likely to have told anyone.
"Buzz Lightyear reporting for duty," he announced, saluting as he stepped onto the command deck.
Nebula, pacing noisily across the deck, paused to salute back. "Ah, Buzz. Morning. Let's take a walk, son—my office."
"Uh, sir, I have to be down in the launch bay in ten minutes to see the recruits off."
"Ranger Nova's handling that. Figured you might not be in the mood to give them the usual pep talk."
Buzz frowned. "Well, uh, no, but… look, sir, it's my last chance to speak to Savy."
"Negative. Recruit SL2 won't be boarding that shuttle today."
"Sir?"
"I pulled a few strings to give her an extra week," the commander said. "XR's idea. He thought you could both use it. I hate to say it, but sometimes that bucket of bolts makes a good point. Now, I think this is a conversation best continued in my office, don't you?"
"Yes, sir." Buzz hurried after the commander. "I got hold of Kala last night," he whispered.
"And?"
"You were right. No cloning, no Zurg trick. Savy's hers." Ours.
Nebula grunted something under his breath. "How are you holding up?"
"I'll get back to you on that one, sir." They reached the doors, and Nebula stood aside to let Buzz in first. Puzzled, he stepped through.
There was already a figure seated at the commander's desk, and another sitting across from them.
"Ah! Come in, come in," Dr. Animus announced happily. "Now ve can begin!"
An ambush. He should've seen it coming. Buzz eyed Savy, sitting with her arms folded, and then the empty chair beside her. The shadow of the commander fell over him, blocking the exit. Sighing in defeat, he pulled up the chair. "What's all this about?"
"Look, you two need to have a proper conversation," said Nebula. "You've both got a lot to talk about."
"But what's he doing here?" Buzz jerked a thumb at the doctor.
"That's what I'd like to know," muttered Savy. "I already did that stupid psych eval!"
"Ah, but zis is different." Dr. Animus rubbed his thin hands together. "Zis is family counselling!"
Great. Buzz remembered his old sessions in the social worker's stuffy office, feeling too small on the sofa and focusing on a burned-out light strip on the ceiling as he answered questions about how he was adjusting to life with Nana, and whether or not he was still having the bad dreams. Just great.
"Well," the commander grunted, "I'll leave you to it." The doors swished closed.
"Uh, so." Buzz tried to meet Savy's eyes. Craters, how had he never seen Kala there before? "Hi."
She made a vague noise in response.
"Good morning, Buzz," said Dr. Animus. "Now, you have both had a great shock yesterday, yes? Tell me how you are feeling."
Buzz pinched the bridge of his nose. It was too early in the morning for this. "I'm fine, Doctor."
"Gee, I'm glad one of us is." Savy's arms were still crossed. "You find out you've got secret kids often?"
"Of course not. I just..." He sighed. "Look, it's not my first life-altering revelation, okay? You learn to deal with it."
"And you are certain you are... dealing vith it?" Dr. Animus raised an eyebrow.
"I'm fit for duty, if that's what you're asking."
"I am asking about you. Vhat are you feeling right now, Buzz?"
"Annoyed."
Animus wrote something down, and Buzz couldn't quite peer over the top of his notes to read it. The doctor then turned to Savy. "And you? You believed all your life you vere an orphan, yes?"
"Well, yeah. For some reason, 'Buzz Lightyear of Star Command turns out to be your long-lost father' didn't cross my mind, you know?"
"And now zat you know ze truth?"
"But that's just it," she said. "I don't! All I know is I'm his kid. I don't know how that happened. I don't know what I was doing on Trade World. I don't even know who my mother is!"
A pang gripped Buzz's chest. He'd been four years old the first time he'd asked his mom if he had a dad. She'd told him to go tidy his room. The second time, his fifth birthday, she said, "Probably," and gave him another slice of the cake Nana had sent. There never was a third time, and he remained stuck with the question. He couldn't do that to Savy.
They were both looking at him expectantly. He turned to Animus. "Doctor, I know you're here to help, but, uh, would you mind giving Savy and I a moment?" Seeing that the doctor was about to protest, he held up a hand. "I'll fill you in afterwards, I promise, and we can take it from there. I just need a minute."
Taking a deep breath, Animus rose and padded quietly out the room. That left just the two of them. Him and Savy.
Father and daughter.
She still wasn't meeting his eyes, but she unfolded her arms and swivelled the chair to face him. Buzz mentally scrambled for the right words. If ever there was a conversation he had to get right, it was this one. "Before I say anything," he told her, "there's something I want you to know."
She waited.
"If I'd had even an inkling you existed, I would've turned the galaxy upside down to find you. Whatever it took. And I would've raised you. I never would've left you on Trade World."
"Well, it's too late for that now, isn't it?"
She was right. Eighteen years, gone. He'd been there for some of them, but not nearly enough. "Look, Savy," he said, "I spoke to your mother last night. Your biological mother. She... wanted you to know that she's sorry. She's sorry that she had to give you up."
The girl's face darkened. "Give me up? Give me up? Are you telling me that she's still out there somewhere? I spent my whole life thinking she was dead, and now I find out she just didn't want me! And she says she's sorry?"
Part of him wanted to agree, to indulge his own anger. "It's complicated," he said. "She was in a difficult situation." Judging by Savy's expression, it didn't sound any more convincing to her than it did to him.
"Who is she anyway?" Savy demanded.
Buzz sighed. "A long time ago, when I was still pretty fresh out of the Academy, my partner and I were were on guard duty at the senate during an official banquet. There was this woman, Kala, part of the president's personal staff. She was overseeing everything." He could still see her in that blue dress she'd worn when she walked in, clipboard in hand, issuing instructions. "It was a long shift, and to the senators we were practically invisible. She was the one person who stopped to talk to us, who brought something to eat when she noticed we were looking hungry."
Savy screwed up her face. "So you hooked up with her?"
"No! It wasn't like that. I just made the mistake of blushing in front of my partner, and somehow by the end of the night, in between saving all the senators from a Zurg attack—long story—he'd managed to get her number for me. A few days later, we went out, and... well, we ended up going out a lot. I— I loved her, Savy."
Something in the girl's expression softened. "What happened?"
He'd asked himself that question so many times. "We were going to get married. And then we didn't. That's life, I guess—things don't always work out."
"There must be more to it than that."
"She met someone else, okay?" He rubbed his temple, trying not to recall the deep, empty feeling in his chest when she'd told him. "But it started even before then. She always told me I didn't communicate enough. I told her that she never gave me a chance, because whenever I actually got time off, she wanted to go out to diplomatic galas or presidential lunches. It could never just be the two of us. We ended up spending more and more time apart. But I still thought..." He sighed. "I thought maybe things would change after the wedding. I hoped."
Savy was quiet for a minute. "So where do I fit in?"
"Let's just say the breakup was... messy. I'm not proud of that. At the end of it all, I told Kala I never wanted to see her again, and that was that. I never knew she was pregnant."
"So then she just dumped me on Trade World?"
There was no easy way around that one. "She put you up for adoption, yes."
Neither of them said anything as Savy digested what he'd told her. He wondered what was going through her mind. It was strange to think that he was better at reading his sworn enemy's face than his own daughter's.
"It's fine," she said at last, in a tone that didn't quite support her statement. "Who cares what she did? I have parents. My real parents. Screw her."
Buzz felt almost relieved. He was worried he'd have to tell her the other thing Kala had said. But she hadn't asked. "So now you have the truth you wanted. What happens next?"
Letting out a long breath, Savy leaned back in her chair. "I dunno..."
"We can have your parents brought out here, if you want to spend some time with them. That'd probably be the best thing for you."
"Like I need you to tell me what's best for me."
"Just trying to help."
"Then give me a day back on Trade World with them." She folded her arms. "Away from Star Command and all you Rangers. Let me go back to my old life so I can figure out what it is I really want. I can't think when everything I see reminds me of you and... this."
He frowned. Perhaps he wasn't putting enough faith in her, but part of him felt that if he let her leave, she would never come back. It would be so much easier to run from everything than to face it.
But that wasn't Savy. She dealt with her problems head on, with plazookas and stakes, not by quitting.
"Okay," he said. "A day it is then."
A/N: Savita is a Hindi name meaning "sun", so it fits in nicely with the space-themed names of the show.
I really love the relationship between Savy and XR, because they're both members of human/robot families (albeit in opposite ways) and I think that gives them a unique connection, so their scene together was a lot of fun to write. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!