Who You Are in the Dark 1
Brief Author note - I know, you want more Redneck Takes a Wife. I do too. But, I haven't written a word of anything other than grocery and chore lists for years. Too much stress, too many things going wrong, not enough time. But someone reminded me that I needed to take time to do things for myself. Take time to refill my own cup before I try to fill anyone else's. So I started forcing myself to write again. Redneck Wife has a few random notes, even part of a later chapter. But this story and one other just flowed from me. Hope you like this one, just a little. And I hope that this is the resurrection of my muse. I've missed her. I'm leaving my other stories up for now, but there will be no more updates for anything except Redneck Wife.
Who you Are in the Dark:
Are you who everyone sees? Who you pretend to be? Or are you who you are when no one is looking? Who you are in the dark.
AU from the last minutes of the nightmare episode Coda. Intensely spiritual/religious - more than even I expected it to be.
Very minor crossover, not relevant except the imagery. If you're curious, the movie quotes will give it away.
MOVIE QUOTE When I was a kid, my father would sit by my bed every night before I went to sleep. And he'd say to me, "Percy, if you don't wake up tomorrow, if it turns out that today is your last day on earth. Will you be proud of what you've done in this life? Because if you ain't, you better start getting square." Percy Walker - Legion (2010)
TWD
Rick cupped the back of Beth's head and gently kissed her forehead, then he pushed her behind himself to where Daryl stood. Daryl kept one hand on his gun, but used the other arm to draw her close.
"Missed yah," he whispered.
"Oh?" she smiled. "Missed you too."
Dawn scowled fiercely at the group. "Now we just need Noah."
"No," Rick refused. "He's leaving with us."
Beth smirked, "What 'we' Dawn?"
Dawn glanced back and saw that her officers were gathering the hostages close, huddled around but distant from her.
"You've got no 'we'. No team. No family," Beth mocked.
"No backup," one of the officers sneered. "Not for this. Not anymore. And never again."
"And no one is ever coming Dawn," Beth continued. "You are alone and always will be."
Dawn's chin quivered as Daryl pulled Beth close again, resting his lips on her hair to inhale her scent. Dawn's face twisted as the fury and hatred rose up in her. Beth was still staring at her with that knowing smile on her face. Dawn yanked her gun from the holster and fired a single shot.
"NOOOO!" Daryl screamed as Beth's head snapped back, blood pouring from her temple and the back of her head. Daryl caught her with one arm as she collapsed.
Return fire came immediately from both sides. Rick, Daryl, and Sasha shooting Dawn from the front, several of the officers hitting her from the back. Daryl was sobbing so loudly that he couldn't hear Beth's gasps for air as he lowered her to the floor. Tyreese helped Carol drop down to them. Beth's eyes searched wildly until they locked with Daryl's tear filled ones.
"Don't leave me," Daryl cried. "Beth, don't leave me. Please."
Beth's eyes rolled back, then they closed. Daryl pressed his face to her shoulder. He lifted the gun and put it under his chin. Rick yanked it away.
Daryl lunged for it. "NO! Can't… Not without her. Gotta go after her. She can't go alone!"
Rick scooted back out of reach, feet slipping in the blood spilled on the floor. "Brother… don't…"
"She's alive," Carol shouted. "She's breathing. She has a pulse. Daryl, do you hear me? She is still alive!"
Chaos swarmed in the form of a doctor and uniformed police. Tyreese helped Daryl scoop Beth into his arms and he followed the doctor into an exam room.
TWD
Rick emerged from the hospital, notified by the man on watch of a fire engine arriving. As the vehicle doors opened to release the rest of the group, he paused, then strode rapidly towards them. Maggie ran to him, Glenn on her heels. Rick caught her, gripped her arms as he stared into her happy excited face,
And he broke her heart. "Maggie… I'm sorry Maggie. Beth's gone."
"What?" Maggie's smile turned instantly to tears.
"Beth was shot. I'm so sorry Maggie. She's technically alive, but the doctor says there is no hope. Daryl's bringing her down, he won't leave her. But she's gone. I'm so sorry."
Daryl emerged from the hospital with Beth limp in his arms, a blood soaked bandage wrapped around her forehead. Tyreese helped Carol limp along behind them with Sasha following, a box of medication, bandages, and instructions in her arms. Maggie collapsed, wailing in grief as Glenn tried to catch her.
"Da'fuck is her problem," Daryl grumbled.
"Rick probably told her what the doctor said," Sasha replied.
"Doctor is wrong," Carol replied. "She's not dead."
"Damn straight," Daryl snarled as he strode over to where Maggie sat rocking and weeping. "Get up! She's right here. She's still breathin'. Heart's still beatin'. SHE IS ALIVE!"
Maggie stood up shakily with Glenn's help, she stroked Beth's hair, still crying. Beth murmured and shifted her head slightly, her eyelids fluttering, but then she moaned and stilled in Daryl's arms. Maggie wailed again.
Daryl turned and strode away rapidly. He pressed his lips against Beth's hair. "You'll wake up later and tell her to shut the fuck up. Stop cryin' over you like you're some dead girl."
They salvaged a few SUVs from the area around the hospital. Daryl got a van working and Tyreese appeared with a mattress from a fold out sofa. They laid it in the back and Daryl laid Beth carefully down next to Carol.
"Sit her up a little," Carol ordered. "I want to try to give her some water." She had a bottle and she squeezed a little into Beth's mouth. Beth swallowed instinctively. Carol smiled, "That's a good girl. You rest a bit and when you wake up you can show them all how amazing you are."
TWD
But she didn't wake up. Days turned into a week. Then two.
Hushed conversations between Rick and Maggie. Rick and Abraham. Not so hushed arguments. When to give up. What to do when she finally died.
Daryl ignored them all, ignored the blurred passage of time, ignored everything but Beth. And Carol. Carol never left her side, talking non stop about what was going on, where they were, what she was doing as she cleaned and changed Beth, fed her baby food when they found it, other food mashed into paste when they couldn't. She'd swallow anything they put in her mouth. She chewed some, but Carol was worried she'd choke so mashed food it was. And water, lots of water. Carol said her digestive system was working normally.
Daryl only left her to hunt, search for food and water, or scout the route ahead. He never noticed the sign saying they'd left Georgia and entered South Carolina. Then Virginia.
Another argument woke up Daryl.
"Daryl, we can't keep this up," Rick said firmly. "She's not getting any better."
"How long were you in that coma after gettin' shot?" Daryl snarled.
"That's different," Rick replied as the others gathered to listen.
"I know. You were alone. No one to give you water or food. No one to keep you clean and dry and warm. You survived. So will she. If you are so God damned determined to walk away from her, do it. Fuck off. All a' yah. Leave her just like you did at the prison. Left her behind."
"We thought…" Carl protested.
"What? That she'd get on that bus without the kids she'd been takin' care of? Without Asskicker? No. You just thought she died, because how could she possibly survive. Yah never even gave her a second thought," he gestured at Maggie. "I saw your notes when we left Terminus. Glenn, go to Terminus, Maggie, Sasha, Bob.. Not one for her. Couldn't find room for four more letters? Couldn't find a little more walker blood? Hell," he rounded on Sasha, "You couldn't even be bothered to leave one for your brother." Sasha flinched and looked down even as Tyreese scowled.
"You don't understand," Maggie said, tears falling again.
"No. YOU don't. You never did. She is strong. Stronger than any of us. She is going to be fine. Someday you'll see. So y'all go on. Should be easy, you done it once. Packed up, knowing she was still out there somewhere. Dropped everything to follow Eugene's lies all the way to DC."
"We didn't know where she was!"
"You knew sure as shit she wasn't in DC! And now? You know right where she is now, but here you are, ready to run away!"
"SHE's DEAD DARYL!" Maggie screamed. "She may be breathing and swallowing but she is dead."
"Best thing we could do for her is put a bullet through her head, but aim better," Abraham said.
"You go anywhere near her and I will gut you like a deer," Carol threatened. "That goes for all of you. I think from now on, Daryl, Beth, and I will ride in the van alone. Not that any of you have been volunteering to help with her, but consider yourself all off the visitor list.
TWD
The van got them all the way to the outskirts of Richmond before it died completely. There was no whispered discussion or argument this time. Daryl found a small hunting cabin in the woods and he and Carol secured it as the others left, heading towards Noah's home community.
Daryl was alone in the woods, tracking a deer, when sudden movement sent the buck straight into his path. He fired the crossbow, taking down the deer with a single shot, before he turned and saw her.
Beth. Standing there in the woods. Daryl ran to her only for her to fade away. He spun around in place and saw her again. Her face was unscarred. Her hair was loose and flowing. And she was wearing a long white gown that seemed to glow in the sunlight. His heart stuttered in his chest as she smiled and mouthed, "Good shot!"
"No," he gasped. "NO!"
He ran all the way back to the cabin and burst through the door. Carol whirled, gun ready, "Jesus you scared me! What's wrong?"
"She OK?"
Carol blinked rapidly, "No change. I gave her some mashed up peas a while ago. I don't think she likes them but she ate fine. What's wrong?"
"Just got a bad feelin'," he rubbed his chest. He walked over to touch Beth's arm, fingers immediately going to the pulse in her wrist that still beat steadily. "Just… stupid panic."
"She's OK," Carol reassured him. "But we do need to talk a bit. We have plenty of the pain medication I've been giving her, but the other meds are getting low. I've reduced the dosage to stretch them but we need to find a pharmacy or a veterinarian for more soon."
Daryl nodded, "I'll start lookin' tomorrow. I got a deer but… gotta go see if it's still where I dropped it."
Carol smiled, "Go on. It's bath time anyway."
Daryl walked back outside. Beth stood on the edge of the porch. He glanced back to where Carol was laying out what she needed to bathe Beth. He turned back as he shut the door. Beth still stood there. Dressed in what looked like a white cotton sundress down to mid calf. Hair curled slightly, eyes bright. Face unmarred. Feet bare. She glowed with the inner light he'd always known was there. He turned and walked away, rubbing at both eyes with his fists like a toddler. She walked silently, just like he'd taught her as she followed along behind him. But his hunter's ears could hear her. The soft pad of her feet. The slight swish of the dress.
He reached the dense woods out of sight of the cabin and turned to her, "What the hell is this? Am I goin' crazy?"
"If you were crazy, then I'd be a hallucination from your mind so how am I supposed to prove anything?" she retorted.
"You're alive! You can't be a ghost!"
"I know I'm alive, you've yelled it enough times to enough people!"
"You could hear us?"
"Yes. Just couldn't.. Be with you until now. I don't know why. I was just… trapped in the dark."
"Alone," he whispered, a tear slipping down his face.
"Not exactly," she said as she reached up to his cheek. He felt a slight pressure, like a soft cool breeze against his skin but no contact. Then the tear disappeared from his skin. "Come on."
He heard the walker long before he reached the clearing and the deer. Snarling in a rage. He readied the crossbow as he hurried forward. Of anything or anyone he expected to find stooped over the deer growling back at the walker, Shane Walsh never came to mind. Shane wore a pair of khaki cargo pants and a black t-shirt. His hair was thick, like when Daryl had first met him. His familiar Police cap was in his hand as he shoved it in the walker's face. The walker lunged and snarled but backed off as Shane growled and waved his arms.
Daryl gaped at the sight, tempted to rub his eyes again.
"Would you shoot that fucker before he realizes we can't stop him from grabbin' that deer?" a familiar voice slammed into him.
"Merle?"
Merle blinked into existence behind Beth. He wore a pair of light blue jeans, black t-shirt, and his black leather. Daryl began to hyperventilate. Both men appeared to be there, visible, yet somewhat distorted, like looking through dusty glass. And both men had a similar glow, not as bright as Beth, but still. "I'm crazy. Gone complete shithouse rat crazy."
"Fine, you're crazy," Merle replied. "Can you still shoot that thing, baby brother?"
Daryl choked out a breath, then aimed and fired. Shane shifted in the last second and the bolt shot through his shoulder with a puff of black smoke, then landed in the walker's eye. The walker dropped.
"What's goin on?" Daryl demanded.
"Take the deer back to the cabin and start gutting it and we'll explain what we can," Shane ordered. When Merle glared at him, Shane rolled his eyes, "Don't start that shit again. I should've told you that the first time." He altered his voice deeper and more southern, "Don't you talk to mah baby brother. You need shit yah talk to me." His voice returned to normal, "Bullshit. He's a grown man who doesn't need you to translate for him." Merle puffed up with a scowl as Daryl looked from one to the other.
Beth sighed, "They do this. A lot. It's OK."
With a shrug, Daryl lifted the deer to his shoulders and went back to the cabin. Carol was waiting outside. She smiled as he approached, apparently not seeing his companions. "She's still fine. Deer will taste good. I can make a stew for all three of us." She went back inside.
Daryl nodded and hung the deer to begin the process. "Start talkin'."
Merle sat down and kicked at the dirt with his boots. "Don't know much. Know I coulda gone over but wanted to wait for you. So they sent me back. Been around you ever since. Glad you can see and hear me now, been shoutin' at yah from the beginnin'. Tried to tell yah about the Governor comin' back. Tried to tell yah not to open that damn door. Tried to tell yah where your girl was." Merle shrugged.
Shane sighed and rubbed his face, "I never left. Took me a while to even realize I was dead. I was tied to Rick, Carl, and Lo-ori," he stuttered on her name. "Now mostly Carl and Judith. Judy could see me in the beginning when she was a newborn, but not so much any more. I think she can see Lori more."
"Lori's here too?"
Beth nodded, "And another woman. Lucy. She and Lori were with me right after I got shot. Merle and Shane came later. I've always been here too. But I couldn't get out of the dark before. I could hear you and Carol. The others. Tried to answer but I don't think it ever got through. Lucy says I'll be able to really wake up soon."
"Yep. Even if I gotta tear apart heaven and hell to make it happen, she is comin' back to you little brother."
"Merle," a familiar, gentle voice answered, "We discussed that that might not be the best way." Lori walked into the yard. She wore a long, white dress too, but this looked more like a satin gown or a wedding dress. "You showed yourself to him, the ones in charge are not happy."
"The ones in charge can bite my ass," Merle snorted. "And she did it first," he jerked his chin at Beth.
"I know. And so do they," Lori replied as she wrapped her arm around Beth's shoulders. "They understand. Not happy, but they do understand. Besides, they agreed that my daughter needs her momma back and soon." Beth smiled and Lori kissed her forehead.
"How come you know more?" Daryl asked.
"I'm a woman, we always know more," Lori retorted. Merle and Shane rolled their eyes. "I have a connection to the other side. My parents. Other friends. So I'm tied to both there and here. More here obviously because of Carl and Judith. Speaking of, please stop calling her Asskicker before she learns to talk. More than once, Carl introduced himself as 'Little Shit Factory' thanks to Uncle Shane there." Shane looked away as Merle snickered. "We are here and will be. There are others who pass through sometimes."
"Governor runs through like a freight train once in a while, screamin all the way," Merle reported.
"We think he's afraid of what waits for him," Shane added.
Lori nodded, "As well he should. Herschel crossed over once Maggie found Glenn. He already knew you were with Beth. And he knew long before that you'd take good care of her."
"Figured out you had the hots for her, baby brother," Merle snickered. Beth blushed and ducked her head to Lori's shoulder. Lori kissed her head and stroked her face, but smirked at Daryl. Shane shook his head, but Merle continued, "What? I was there watchin' remember. Could see you two fallin' long before the prison fell."
Daryl ignored the teasing as he gathered the deer's guts into a pile, "Didn't do so well. Lost her. Let her get shot."
Beth walked over to him, "I'll be alright, Daryl."
"I know, you're stronger than anyone in the world," Daryl replied. As he stared at her, she suddenly staggered and seemed to fade away before snapping back into focus. "What's going on?"
"She's tired, this takes too much out of her," a new voice reprimanded. Daryl turned and saw a woman approaching. Her dress was similar to Lori's only in a dark slate gray. She had dark blonde hair starting to go gray on top and a drawn, pale face. "We don't have too much longer."
"Who are you?"
"Lucy," the woman replied. "Your group will be coming back in two days. Noah's family and friends are all gone. They will have lost Tyreese but he's still tied to Sasha. I'm not sure if you'll be able to see him, but obviously you can't tell them if you do. Same as you can't tell anyone about the rest of us. I don't actually think you can physically say anything about it anyway. Rules of the afterlife and all."
"Why do you know more?"
"I'm a woman," Lucy shrugged. "And I am my husband's only chance at redemption. Otherwise the Governor's hell will look like a 5 star resort compared to where he's going. No one can see us. No one can hear us. Beth ties us to this world stronger than should be possible. But obviously it drains her power. Sharing it with us like this." Beth staggered again. Daryl reached for her but his hands moved through her.
Merle brushed by Daryl. Again he felt a breeze, a slight chill, then nothing. Merle stooped and scooped Beth up in his arms. "Come on, songbird."
Beth rested her head against his shoulder as her eyes drooped, "Don't want to leave Daryl."
"He'll be right along, soon as he finishes with the deer. Carol's gonna make you deer stew," Merle soothed. He actually rocked her gently as he strode towards the cabin. Beth's arm drifted down to hang limply.
"And he calls you the sweet one," Shane snickered.
Lucy walked over and gestured at the blood and castoffs from the deer. They sank deep into the ground.
"I still haven't figured that out," Lori complained. Then she startled, "Oh. Judith needs me." She disappeared with Shane blinking out a second later.
Lucy stared at Daryl, "Lot to take in." Daryl nodded. "Yeah. Is for us too. Never thought much about heaven or hell, angels or demons before this. But it's all real. The Governor comes back because he's drawn in by Beth like the rest of us. The only light in a very, very dark world. But if he comes near her, the angels and the fallen ones can find him so he doesn't linger. Sooner or later, they'll catch him and force him to hell. It's the living that's the real danger. Terminus. Grady. And the ones who destroyed Noah's home. There are so many more out there." Daryl just blinked and nodded again. Lucy smiled, "How about a gift before I go?"
Daryl looked confused. Then Carol yanked open the cabin door. "Daryl!"
Daryl wiped his hands as he crossed the now empty yard, "What's wrong?"
Carol laughed through tears, "Nothing. She said your name. Clear as day. Come on."
Daryl raced up the steps and into the cabin. He wiped the last of the blood from his hands on his pants and stooped, "Beth?"
Beth shifted slightly towards him and muttered, "Daryl?"
"I'm here, Beth. I'm here," he stroked her forehead as she settled.
Merle stood in the corner, slightly less tangible than outside, but still there. He looked at Daryl but didn't speak. Daryl gave a quick nod and Merle seemed surprised. Merle then pointed at Daryl, then at himself. Daryl nodded again. Merle looked down at Beth then shrugged at Daryl. Daryl gave a half shrug back as Carol left to go get the deer. "Can see you. Is it pullin' from her still?" Daryl whispered. Merle shook his head. "OK. It is good to see you brother."
TWD
Negan strode into his room, whistling and swinging Lucille around in a circle. Once inside, he closed and locked the door and let the bat drop to the floor. His shoulders slumped and silence fell. He walked to the table and sank into a chair. It was only then that he realized he wasn't alone.
"Oh no, baby, not tonight. Got two of the wives on the rag and by God they are mean. Plus those damn wolves are getting closer and closer to our door. They've slaughtered three more little groups in the last month and we still can't find them. People running around out there with fucking Ws on their foreheads, you think they'd stand out."
Lucille held out her hand. Negan sighed but got up and walked to her, "I'm not going to like this am I?" Lucille shook her head as he took her hand.
An endless millisecond later, he dropped to his knees in dirt and began to wretch. "God. Please no. Please tell me that's not…"
"Yes," Lucille replied as she stooped next to him.
Negan jumped and sprawled over onto his back, "I can hear you! Lucille. Say something else. Anything else. Please!"
"That is what waits for you on the other side," Lucille said. "I'm not supposed to show you, but I had to, so you'd understand."
"What?"
"That if you don't change, that will be your eternity."
"The spirits did it all in one night!" he quoted Charles Dickens with a smirk.
"Don't be glib, Negan," Lucille chided. "This is real. As real as it gets. If you continue on that road, you know the hell that waits." She stood up and brushed down the dark gray gown she wore. He struggled to his feet to follow her across the yard. She approached a man chopping wood wearing a black leather vest with bright white wings. Next to him sat a beautiful young woman in a white sundress. The man ignored their approach but the woman turned and smiled. Negan couldn't do anything but smile back. As he stared, another man came into view. Big guy in a black leather vest and a fierce scowl on his face as he blocked Negan's way to the man chopping wood. Then two more people appeared, a dark haired man with a cap labeled 'Police' and a beautiful dark haired woman. The woman stroked the blond girl's hair gently earning her another beautiful smile.
"Look at her," Lucille ordered. "The minute you see her again will be when your fate can change. Everything you do after you meet her will decide where you end up."
"But how…. How will I know the right thing?"
Lucille smiled, "Ask yourself what would the Almighty Negan do compared to the man I fell in love with. My beloved Negan. Then you'll know. And listen. To her. To the others. You have real evil around you, honey. Inside your sanctuary and out. But you also have good. Listen. You'll know."
Negan looked around the simple log cabin in the woods, "Should I try to find them?"
Lucille shook her head, "They'll be brought to you," she said sadly.
A gunshot rang out and Negan flinched. When he looked back, the young blonde had blood running down her face. He awoke with a gasp to find himself back at his table. Lucille still sat there with him. "What happened? Is she OK?"
"She will be," Lucille whispered. "Their road has been harder than you could ever imagine. They've come face to face with more evil than you could comprehend. Sadistic monsters that make Simon look angelic."
"Please don't leave me," he begged softly.
She leaned over and kissed him gently, a soft breeze across his lips, "I never have."
TWD