My chest feels tight, like I can't breathe, like my heart is being literally crushed. I feel tears dripping down my face and my breaths getting short. Jason's arms pull me to him, supporting me just as my knees give out.

His voice becomes a soothing murmur, "I'm so sorry. Just breathe for me, nice deep breaths. I never wanted you to find out. I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

I go completely still as his words sink in, and suddenly I'm furious. I push away from him, and he reluctantly lets me go. His eyes are evaluating me, ready to rush to me if necessary, but also wary, clearly seeing the anger bubbling under the surface.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. My voice booms around the office as I yell out, "You didn't think I had a right to know that the FBI has evidence against me that could send me to prison for the rest of my life?! And that the reason we all lost you for years was because you were being coerced by using me?! How could you keep this from me?!"

He takes a step closer, and I take one back, holding my hand out to stop him. He runs his hand through his hair, then looks at me with pain filled eyes, "I am taking care of it so that nothing will ever…"

"You kept me in the dark! Worse than that you lied to me!" I lash out. "We don't lie to each…"

He rushes out, "I never lied to you."

I shake my head, "That night at Sonny's, he asked you who you were protecting, and you told us, you told me you were protecting yourself, Jase. When really it was me."

He flinches at the pain, the ache in my voice. It pulses through me so strong I shudder.

Jason takes a step forward, and the anguish in his eyes keeps me rooted in place. "That's not a lie. If they took you and locked you up, it would break me. Don't you understand that yet? Protecting you is protecting myself. I can't let you… You never chose this life. Sonny and I, we made a choice to be part of this world, to risk our lives and our freedom. You never made that choice, instead Sonny and I dragged you into it. You never should have been put in this position. It's my fault." His voice breaks and a tear slips down his cheek.

I take the step forward to wrap my arms around him. Even angry, the sight of his pain is too much to bear. "I am not the innocent victim in this, Jason. I made plenty of choices along the way. I'm so angry at you for keeping this from me, for not trusting me with something so important. But, Jase, this is not your fault. Despite what you seem to think, you are not God, you do not control everything."

He shakes his head again, causing his cheek to brush against mine. "You would not have been on that recording if it weren't for…"

"For Nina keeping the fact that Sonny was alive from us, for me choosing to marry him over and over, for Cyrus making a power play so we had to keep our family safe, for the necessity of protecting our family in the only way we knew how. We could play that game all day, but it's pointless. Things are the way they are and it's not your…"

His hands tighten on my upper arms, pulling me back to look in my eyes, "Don't say it wasn't my fault. The only reason you have anything to do with this life is because you're my best friend. You never would have gotten involved with Sonny if not for you and me. Hell, I basically made you marry him the first time."

I let out a bitter laugh, stepping away from him, "I was the one who ended up in his bed, then married him over and over. And, Jase, you didn't pull me into anything. I chased you with everything in me." I hold up my hand and shake my head as he begins to argue, "However, I understand that you are operating on protectiveness and guilt." My voice breaks, "But I'm the guilty one. I'm the one who is responsible for you being all alone and away from your children for three years!"

My voice is a wail, forceful in the overwhelming emotion gripping me like a vise. He has me in his arms again in an instant, pulling me in tight. "Carly, no. You are not responsible for any of this. Please…" his voice breaks. I look up at him as tears shimmer in his eyes. "Please don't put that weight on yourself."

"How can I not blame myself? How is this not on me? You sacrificed your freedom for mine!" I practically shout at him, my voice breaking at the end.

There's a knock on the door, then Spinelli pokes his head through the door. Jason barks out, "Not now!"

The computer whiz clears his throat, "Yes, obviously. But I thought you should know that your conversation is not as private as you undoubtedly hope it is."

He pushes the door open enough that I can see our kids, including Michael, Morgan, Danny, and Joss, as well as Sam and Dante. I try to put on my game face, but the tears won't stop pouring down my cheeks. I rub my chest to try to ease the ache.

Jason turns us, pulling me to his side. "How much did you hear?"

Sam speaks up, with anger sparking in her eyes, "That once again you sacrificed everything to protect Carly. And you know what? No one in this room is remotely surprised. Why wouldn't you throw your entire life down the toilet for Carly? You have been doing that exact thing for decades. It doesn't matter that you have children who need a father; Carly needs…"

"Enough!" Jason yells. "This isn't Carly's fault."

"No, Jason, it's…"

"Sam…" Dante puts his hand on Sam's back, and she crosses her arms, but stops talking.

I look at our kids, and while my kids only look grateful and concerned, I can see the hurt in Danny's eyes. It causes a pulse of pain that I am in anyway responsible for his pain.

Jason sees it too, and his voice softens as he talks to his son, "I'm sorry, Danny. I am sorry that you found out this way, and I'm sorry that it has caused you pain. But you have to understand, I couldn't just sit by and let it happen. The only reason she was in that position was to protect our family. If it wasn't for me…"

Michael steps forward, "If it wasn't for you, I would've died in prison. If it wasn't for you, Mom would be locked up in Ferncliff or jail or she wouldn't have survived the endless line of enemies Sonny seemed to accumulate. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have Morgan back." He pauses, looking at Danny. "I know how much it hurt to think we lost him, and I can only imagine what it was like for you. But your dad is a protector, a hero, and it would destroy him if he couldn't protect the people he loves. He would have done the same thing for any of us because it's who he is. Hell, he has done it for most of us." He looks at me, with a hint of a smile, "Jason protects the people he loves, especially my mom, because that's how he has been my entire life. And I am incredibly grateful."

Sam scoffs, but I see Danny nodding his head. Michael's words seem to have eased his pain a little. And in a way it helps ease mine as well. I understand how much it would tear Jason apart if I was sent to prison. I remember how destroyed he was when Michael was there. How wrecked he was when I was stuck in Ferncliff.

"I'm just trying to do the right thing." Jason tells us softly. "Trying to keep this family safe. But it's almost over."

I take Jason's hand, entwining our fingers. No matter what, I will always believe in his intentions and stand by him. He looks down at me, in his eyes I see both gratitude and apology. Forgiving him is easy. I can't hold anger for him in my heart. The question is, can I forgive myself?

He reads my expression, shaking his head. "It's not your fault, Carly. You can't take this on…"

"Why not? Sam and Danny have every right to blame me. I blame myself! You have been through hell, kept away from everyone who needs you and loves you to protect me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Mom," Morgan steps forward. With a gentle tone, he counters, "No one in this house is to blame. This is outside forces coming for us: the Jeromes, Pikeman, the feds, take your pick. But you aren't to blame and neither is Jason. This is not the moment to turn against ourselves or each other," he looks directly at Sam, then looks at me, "Now is the moment to join forces and take down the enemy."

"Well-spoken, young sir. We will overcome the enemy with a united front." Spinelli speaks up. "Right, Sam?"

"Yes, of course." She concedes. And our kids are nodding, willing to join the fight.

"I appreciate that," Jason cuts in, "but…"

"Don't you dare say you don't want us involved or to stay out of it to keep safe." I tell him with attitude. "If you think I am going to sit on the sidelines while the FBI is coming after both of us, you clearly don't know me as well as you think."

Jason is suddenly standing right in front of me. His hands take mine. "I really do have this whole mess almost done. Please trust that I will get you out of this and keep you safe. I promise."

Dante clears his throat, "Look, Jason, I get that you think you have everything under control, and I'm definitely a little more hesitant than these guys to jump into this situation. But I will say, take the help. As much as you are concerned with helping and protecting your family, your family is concerned with helping and protecting you. Let them. Not with anything dangerous or illegal, obviously, but I'm sure there's something your family can do to help."

Jason stares at Dante for a long moment, processing what he said. Finally, I watch as he lets out a breath and nods. He looks down at me, his fingers brushing against my cheek, "Okay. I will let you help." When I beam up at him, he qualifies, "But you have to promise to do exactly what I say." He looks at everyone, his eyes jumping from one pair of eyes to the next. "One wrong move could blow everything up. Agreed?"

He waits until we have all promised, then he continues, "Here's what I need you to do…"