A/N: Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts!

Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.

So, most of you guys have figured out how this story has been progressing so far, with alternating 'Then' and 'Now' chapters. For example, Friday was a 'Now' chapter, so today is a 'Then' chapter. I know many of you wanted to get to Edward's POV, but that will be a 'Now' chapter. Therefore, we'll hear from him on Wednesday this week. All that being said, we will soon leave behind the 'Then' chapters, but not until young E & B's story is all told. 3

Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.

Ready?

Chapter 13 – The Memory That Still Hurts Like Hell

September 14, 2005 – Bainbridge Island, Seattle 1:07 a.m.

Edward's flip phone rang, each rolling peal like thunder clapping in my ear. I kept expecting every ring to be the last, for him to pick up on the next one – there was a time when his phone wouldn't reach three rings before he picked up my call. Now, three rings became five. Then, five became seven. So, I prepared to leave a message.

What my message would say? I still hadn't figured that out when the next ring abruptly severed mid-ding. His voice caught me by surprise, like in a horror movie where the audience has been expecting the killer at every bend yet still startles when he appears. And just like in those horror movies, with his one-word greeting – the tone…the name – my stomach churned.

"Bella."

Even before I asked the question, I knew the answer. The noise in the background, the commotion, they were all dead giveaways. Still, I asked.

"Are you on your way?"

He sighed, misery marring his naturally gravelly voice and making it even huskier.

"No. I'm still in L.A. I've been trying to leave since noon, but- I was just about to call you."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed the hot tears burning behind my lids to recede. In the ensuing pause, a recognizable female voice called out for him. The telltale signs of a phone shuffling around followed.

"Heidi, I'm in the middle of something! Hold on!" he called out in loud frustration. The phone shuffled again.

"Edward, you'd better get back to Heidi."

"Izzy, I'll be there tomorrow, I promise."

This was why I didn't want to cry. My voice had to remain calm, with no outward betrayal of my mangled heart, even though he had to know already how badly this hurt. My birthday. He'd missed my fucking birthday, just like someone else who'd once claimed to love me, then couldn't even be fucking bothered with my birthdays.

Either way, I may have overcompensated for serenity because when I replied, my voice sounded dull to my own ears.

"Tomorrow isn't my twenty-first birthday, Edward. Today is; rather, we're at 'was' at this point."

He didn't answer immediately. But then, in a contrite whisper, he acknowledged, "I know. I'm sorry."

"You promised you'd be here, but over the past few months, along with becoming Seattle's prince, you've become the king of broken promises."

"That's not fair," he snapped now, contriteness taking a back seat to indignation. "I'm trying my best, but it's not easy, Bella. I'm supposed to be recording during this short break from the tour, not running off to-" He cut himself off, expelling a long, frustrated breath. I wondered if it was because he, like me, clearly heard Heidi in those words. "Try to understand," he continued with slightly less irritation, "between the tour and recording, hundreds of people are involved. The days can't always work on my schedule."

"And apparently never on mine."

"That's not true. I've managed a few days-"

"Days in a matter of months-"

Again, a voice called for him. But this wasn't Heidi's voice. Again, he shuffled around.

"Janey, I'm busy," he said with a touch of impatience. Still, he sounded far less curt and harassed than he'd sounded when he shouted at his initial interrupter.

"Oh, sorry!" I heard her reply before he returned to me.

Somehow, my heart now pounded like a jackhammer in my brain.

"Oh, Janey's there, too? Is she also recording?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, she is also recording."

"You don't have to sound defensive."

"You don't have to sound accusatory."

A heavy silence hung between the fragile airwaves, allowing only our mutual misery to seep in.

"Bella-"

"Go. You're busy."

"Baby, I'll be there tomorrow. I swear it. I'll tell them all they need to figure something out. And yeah, I know none of my vows mean much lately, but this time-"

"This time, I won't be here, Edward. Or rather, I will be, but I won't be holding my breath."

Again, he sighed. "Look, I know you're upset, but I'll make it up-"

A bitter snort escaped me. "How? By sending me more pricey presents? Or merch from your tour? Should I expect a signed autograph in the mail?"

"Bella, come on. Don't you think you're being a bit unreasonable over a few missed days here and there?"

"I'm being unreasonable over a few days here and there?" I railed incredulously. "Edward, I can count on one hand how many days we've spent together over the past few months, and not even full days, days for just you and me. There's always someone calling you, an entourage of people walking in and out to fit you for this, to grab you for that. Always an urgent call to return, or someplace you have to rush off to-"

"Bella, I have always, always," he hissed, cutting me off, "been there when it matters. Now, I know I've missed a few dates lately – important dates, yes," he qualified, "and I hate that I wasn't there today. Do you think it doesn't kill me, Bella, not seeing you on your twenty-first birthday?"

"Which one is it, Edward, in our relatively short relationship – have you always, always been here when it matters, or have you missed a few important dates? Because we haven't been together long enough for both."

He sucked in a sharp breath. "Bella, Jesus. You can cut me to the quick when you want to, you know that?"

"How do you think this feels, Edward? Being a footnote to you on my twenty-first birthday. We missed your birthday-"

"Christ, birthdays are dates on a calendar, Bella. They'll repeat themselves."

"-and we would've missed our anniversary if I hadn't made the effort and gone chasing after you, disregarded my own responsibilities to get to L.A. and catch up-"

"So this is because I'm not the one doing the chasing anymore?"

Now I sucked in a sharp breath. It was followed by another few heartbeats of tense silence.

"This is because I'm no longer a priority, never mind the priority," I said, unable to keep the tears at bay or the tell-tale strangled sound they produced in my voice. "This is because our relationship has become a hindrance."

"That's not true!" he yelled. Then, sucking his teeth, he bit out a brisk, "Hold on." His ensuing words were admittedly muffled by his palm on the phone's receiver, but the howl almost deafened me.

"I'M COMING, NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

I cringed at the fury in his voice. When he returned to me, it was with clearly forced calm.

"Bella, our relationship isn't a hindrance, but you have to understand, I have so many obligations between the tours, the press, the promos, cutting this album, and..."

And my heart twisted for him; it did. But…if there was one thing life had taught me, it was that dragging out a relationship that was no longer working was the clear way to madness, to a broken heart that took years to mend. Clean breaks were better. They had to be better.

Didn't they?

"And it's so much pressure. But Bella, you're my ray of light, knowing you're there, knowing I have you to escape to once things settle down-"

"Edward, here's the thing: who do I escape to? Who's there for me anymore?"

He was silent.

"Do you even know what's going on in my life?" I wiped the tears off my cheeks. "You want me here for you, but other than for a perfunctory and obligatory, 'What's up?' at the beginning of our calls, you don't even ask any more about what's going on in my life."

"Okay, what's going on in your life?"

"Jay-sus."

"If you won't tell me, how is that my fault?"

"On a quick phone call, you had to take while hiding in a bathroom or a closet? I'm supposed to fit my life into your stolen, three-minute break? Yet when we turn it over to you, you've got a litany of issues and concerns, and my life simply gets lost amid your grandeur! And I don't begrudge you your success, Edward. I begrudge what it's done to us. Janey Ventura knows you better than I do at this point."

"Please don't tell me this is about Janey Ventura, because I couldn't give two fucks about Janey Ventura."

"It's not about Janey Ventura. It's about how this is only going to grow worse, crazier, once the album is released. There'll be more touring, more promotion, and even less us, if that's possible."

He snorted, and with a seething bitterness that left me breathless and speechless at its end, he blurted,

"Maybe if you're lucky, the album 'll bomb, and I can come crawling back to Seattle, a nobody with no obligations, with no litany of concerns, and with more than enough time on my hands to follow you around like a puppy and let you dictate every minute of the events occurring in both our lives."

Silence.

"Fuck, Bella, I didn't mean any of that."

"Why have you been calling me 'Bella' all night?" I asked with deadly calm, unable to even cry anymore.

"Because it's your name?" he answered with that questioning lilt at the end people use to stress the inanity of the initial question.

"That's not why."

"Christ, are we going to fight about that now – about which name I call you by?"

"I want to know why."

"Because we are fighting." Even through the phone line, I sensed how tightly clenched his jaw was; I could picture each word slithering through the tightest air pockets as if they were dying to spurt out. At the same time, he struggled desperately against allowing them airtime. But his anger won out.

"Because Bella is the half-crazed girl who's always turned me into a whole fucking masochist."

He stopped. Sucked his teeth.

"Shiiit. Bella, you're confusing the hell out of me and making me say things I don't mean!"

"I'm making you say these things? Things like that I understand nothing, and just want you to fail?"

"I didn't mean that either."

"Whether you meant any of it or not doesn't even matter."

"Of course, it does, and I'm so sorry I said-"

"It doesn't matter, Edward, because when I said our relationship has become a hindrance, I meant it's become a hindrance to more than you…but to me. I'm unhappy, Edward, and we're too young, with too much ahead of us, to drag out a relationship that makes us unhappy. To become…quick calls here and there." So much like short, impersonal emails.

"Are you seriously threatening to break up with me over the phone?"

I remained silent.

"Bella, I know you're angry and have a right to be, okay? So…" he sighed, "let's just take a breather. We've both said some shitty stuff to one another on this call. Let's take time to cool off."

I chuckled mirthlessly. "Edward, I've had time galore to cool off. To think. To think again and rethink. To change my outfit a dozen damn times, yet you weren't even on your way." I sucked in a sharp breath, struggling to compose myself. "I really think this is the best for both of us. Just…a clean break. We're at cross-paths, and they're not converging anywhere in the near future."

"Look, I'll be done cutting this album soon and come up then. I'll tell Heidi to clear my calendar, whether she fucking likes it or not, and I'll-"

"You're not hearing me," I said, my voice breaking. "We are beyond clearing your calendar for a day or two, and you and I both know it. It's better this way, Edward. A clean break."

"Bella, I'm not agreeing to this. I love you."

"And I told you those three words would mean little in the end. And you don't have to agree with it, not right now. But you will."

"Bella, stop."

"You'll look back and see that this was the right decision," I choked, and in a garbled voice, almost too strangled to be understood, I made the clean cut because I couldn't…I couldn't be the one left behind again.

"Goodbye, Edward."

"Bella. Bella, no!"

A/N: Thoughts?

Wednesday, we will have EPOV. I know you guys have been waiting for it.

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