Chapter 8 – You're My Head, You're My Heart
Author's Note: This is the end! I hope y'all enjoyed the story! :D:D:D
To Guest (1): Thanks!
To Guest (2): Yeah, there isn't much left of Palpatine's plans. Lol. Thanks for reviewing! :D
~ Amina Gila
Ahsoka has never been as relieved as she is when Anakin and Obi-Wan tell her that the Separatist fleet has been destroyed, with Dooku and Grievous on board. She's fixed Kamino, too, and there are no traces left of the battle that had been fought down here, save in memory. She could not, of course, undo what was done to the Republic Star Destroyers that were in orbit. The lives lost there will be remembered, but at least the war might be over. They finally have a chance at ending this conflict, and she is so very relieved.
She is tired of fighting, tired of the war and struggles and grief. She is tired of it all, and knowing that it might finally be over is… She's so, so thankful. She's thankful that they went to Mortis, that they got these powers. Maybe they will have to leave, at least for a little while, but they did it. They ended the Clone Wars.
Well, hopefully.
The Council listens in grave silence as Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex tell them what they uncovered about the inhibitor chips. Obi-Wan is radiating a thinly veiled rage, and Ahsoka brushes against him again to share her Light with him and soothe his Dark. They accepted themselves, though, and the physical manifestations of it will never fade. They are different. They are changed. They are other, and that is not something they will ever be able to hide again.
Maybe it's best like this, she doesn't know.
She, Anakin, and Rex are asked to leave the room while the Council deliberates, and they go, waiting outside.
"Ahsoka."
She turns to Anakin when he calls her name, sees the uncertainty etched onto his face, and immediately goes to him. "Master, what is it?"
"I – I'm sorry," he says, swallowing, "I never asked you if you wanted this. I chose this for you because I couldn't let you go. I couldn't bear the thought of you being – and I agreed to what the Father said without thinking about how you might feel."
Ahsoka stares at him, surprised. She… never even thought about it that way. It's never bothered her, maybe because she's the embodiment of Light. It feels right. It's what she was always supposed to be as a Jedi, so why would she mind? Sure, she might not want to leave everyone, to go away to a different place for a while, but as a Jedi, she always knew her life wouldn't be easy. It was still what she wanted to do.
"I'm not upset," she assures him, but then, another thought crosses her mind. "… Are you? I know you and Master Obi-Wan accepted this for me, but is this – does it upset you, what you are? What he is?"
Anakin jerks. "No," he answers immediately, "When we were there the first time, the Father asked me to stay and take his place. I think – I think I was always meant to get this power. Maybe not now, but eventually. You know they call me the Chosen One. I…" He trails off, huffing a little bitterly. "The Council only agreed to train me because of my power. I never believed that I was really different. Special. I never wanted to be. I just wanted to be… accepted. But I can't deny now that I am different. It's – this has made me accept a part of myself that I never did before. That's not a bad thing. I can do… so much more now. We can remake the future into something better than whatever it was meant to be before."
"Do you really believe that?" she asks, curious. "That we can make a better future? Will it really be better?"
He purses his lips thoughtfully, staring into the distance as though seeing something she can't. "Yes," he replies eventually, "I chose to believe that it will be better this way. We're giving the clones a chance, a life, freedom." He glances meaningfully toward Rex. "That's not nothing."
Ahsoka smiles at him. "You're right."
He laughs, poking the tip of her nose while she half-heartedly swats him away. "Of course, I'm right."
Rex clears his throat then. "Sir, Anakin, I'm grateful for everything you've done for us."
"It was the right thing to do," Anakin answers, holding his eyes. "You are people, too, and you deserve freedom just as much as natborns."
The Council doesn't deliberate long, and they're called back into the room.
"Freed the clones must be," Yoda tells them, as if there was any other possible decision they could make. "Heal them, can you?"
Anakin falters. "I – possibly," he answers, "If we worked together."
Ahsoka throws a wide-eyed look at him. Healing the clones? All the clones? At once? It sounds insane, impossible, but Anakin seems so certain. She'll have to trust him.
"Do it you must," the Grandmaster says, "Before speak to Sidious you do."
Yes, of course. If they confront Sidious before they hold all the cards, the clones could be turned on the Jedi against their will. That isn't something they can risk.
They settle to mediate together, the three of them, giving Rex instructions to keep anyone from interrupting until they're finished.
"Are you sure we can do this?" Obi-Wan queries, uncertain.
Anakin's expression tightens. "I can feel everything," he answers quietly, "Every life in the entire galaxy. I can find the clones. I will guide Ahsoka to them so she can heal them. And you – you must keep us from getting lost."
Together, they drift into the Force. It is… so much. And to think that Anakin feels even more than this. Ahsoka can't even imagine it. She doesn't think she could handle it. She can hardly handle what she feels as is. Anakin's presence is almost overwhelming, but it feels like a hand in hers as he draws her to the clones, sharing his power with her so she can reach them. Her Light washes through them, freeing them. The chips might not be the only cause, but it is a huge contributor. Many clones would hesitate to turn on their commanding officers, no matter their orders, if not for something pushing them to make that choice.
When it's over, she's exhausted, and Anakin doesn't look much better.
"You need to rest," Obi-Wan tells them, disapproving, though he, too, looks tired.
Anakin stands, holding out a hand to pull Ahsoka to her feet. "There is one more thing I need to do," he says. They follow him through the halls, and Ahsoka hopes it isn't obvious that they have no idea where they're going – well, except for Anakin. He stops outside the door of a barracks. It doesn't look special, and it takes Ahsoka a moment to realize where he was going.
Oh.
Of course.
Omega.
Anakin knocks, and it takes a moment before a clone answers. He looks like all the clones do, for the most part, except his hair is shoulder-length. His eyes widen when he sees them.
"It's okay," Anakin says, holding up his hands. "I'm only here to check on Omega."
"Hi!" she calls, jumping off a bunk where she was tucked between a very large clone with a scar on the left side of his head that must have happened at the same time he lost that eye, and a clone with gray hair. "You're back."
Anakin crouches in front of her. "If you want to learn the ways of the Force, I will teach you, Omega, when I return."
"Where are you going?"
He gestures to himself, to Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. "We are different," he answers. "We must learn to control our power, and when we do, I will come back, and I will teach you. These are the brothers you were looking for?"
She nods, smiling shyly. "Thank you."
Anakin touches her shoulder. "Of course. You belong with them." He looks at the other clones – there is a fourth at a workbench, wearing goggles. "You are alright with her staying with you?"
They look at each other. "Yes," says the one who opened the door – he must be their leader, "We'll take care of her."
Anakin stands. "That's all I needed to know."
Ahsoka slips her hand into Anakin's as they leave, heading for somewhere where they can rest and recover from everything they've just done. They don't usually show affection to one another in public, or in front of Obi-Wan, but now, she doesn't really care. She's just grateful, so very grateful, that Anakin is her master. She can't imagine having any other. She doesn't want any other. Anakin is the one who has always been there for her, from the beginning. He's the one who helped and guided her when she faltered or struggled. He cares about her, more than anyone else ever has or would – except maybe Rex. They raised her together, and she will always be grateful to them for that, for being there for her when no one else was.
**w**
Obi-Wan is chosen to be their spokesperson when they go to see the Chancellor. Legally, the Jedi can't remove him from office, but they can certainly threaten him. And he won't be able to respond to the threat, since he can hardly accuse them of threatening him without publicly admitting to being a Sith. Besides, the war is over. Dooku and Grievous are dead, and if the Republic opens peace talks with the Separatists, this might be able to be sorted out with negotiating instead of fighting.
Palpatine's eyes visibly widen when they enter his office. Obi-Wan is in front, Anakin and Ahsoka flanking him on either side. He knows what they look like, their power radiating from them, changing their physical appearances. "Chancellor," he greets cordially, nodding.
"You're different," Palpatine answers, leaning back in his chair, studying them. "What has happened to you?"
"We have changed," Obi-Wan says lightly, "But that is not why we're here… Darth Sidious."
His expression tightens almost imperceptibly but otherwise, his face remains impassive. "So you know."
"I could feel it," he replies, "The way the Dark Side surrounds you. I can see you. I know what you are, who you are. I know you are the one who started this war, though for what purpose, I neither know nor care." He prowls forward, leaning to place his hands on the table, staring down at Palpatine. "This ends now. We will not expose you to the public. You will remain Chancellor until the Senate calls for you to leave office. If you move against the Jedi or if you move to destroy the Republic or continue the war, we will make you regret it."
Palpatine's eyes narrow. "Is that a threat?" His gaze sweeps to Anakin. "My boy, you cannot possibly agree with this."
Anakin takes a step forward. "I don't want it to come to that," he answers frankly. "You – you helped me, guided me. Was it all a lie? Did you only ever want me because of my power, because you wanted me to be your apprentice?"
"You cannot trust the Jedi to make the right choices, Anakin. You know this." He doesn't answer the question. Maybe he can't answer it even to himself. Maybe the truth is really too complicated.
Once, Obi-Wan would have said that no, of course, Sidious could not possibly have genuinely cared about Anakin. But now? Now, he cannot say that with certainty. But he knows that the Dark Side is not nearly as clearcut as he's been taught. He is the embodiment of the Dark, and he knows that there so much more depth and nuance to it than the Jedi realize.
"Not the Jedi," Obi-Wan interrupts, "Us. We are the Ones, the beginning, the middle, and the end. If you overstep, we will stop you. I will deny you your power, and the Dark will be lost to you."
Palpatine's face hardens. "You can't do that."
Obi-Wan smirks, reaching out and plucking at the string of power that links Palpatine to the Force. He is not capable of disconnecting him. Only Anakin can do something like that, but they don't want to go that far. It's not their place, to take the Force from him. But they can make it very, very hard for him to tap into the Dark, or at least Obi-Wan can, because of his connection to it. "Do you want to test that?"
"What do you want?" he snarls, his mask slipping. There is rage in his eyes, hatred.
"I want you to do good for the Republic," Anakin tells him. "I want you to fix what you've broken by starting the war."
"The Republic is beyond saving," Palpatine argues. "It's far too corrupt. The system is broken. It was broken before the Sith ever came to power."
"Then how would you fix it?" Ahsoka queries, curiously.
He doesn't answer that, either.
"You want to change it," Anakin realizes. "You want to make it an empire."
"Not happening," snaps Obi-Wan, his own temper flaring.
Palpatine only smiles, filled with malice. "Then you can watch your precious Republic burn, and I will resurrect it from the ashes."
Ahsoka slides forward and reaches for him. He jerks back, but she's faster, catching his hand and holding it. "You can let it go," she says softly, "You don't need to hold onto that anger."
He rips away from her as if her touch burned him, glaring. "Stay away from me."
Anakin gestures, and Ahsoka pulls away, moving to his side. "I'm sorry." And he means it. Obi-Wan doesn't know how to feel about that.
Palpatine straightens. "You're not giving me a choice. I suppose I shall abide by your… demands, and when you see everything that you're trying to protect go up in flames, don't say I didn't warn you."
A part of Obi-Wan wants to end him, right here and now, for what he's done to Anakin, manipulating him as he has all these years. He's furious that Palpatine was trying to take Anakin from him, turning him against him and the Jedi. It's something he'll never be able to forgive.
But then, he doesn't need to. The Dark does not forgive. It only takes.
**w**
Anakin is meditating in his quarters at the Temple, trying to find his center again after the meeting with Palpatine, when he feels the ripple in the Force. He opens his eyes, looking at the familiar figure in front of him, albeit one who is now a semi-transparent blue. "Qui-Gon," he says, "I thought I sensed you earlier, when we were on Kamino."
The Jedi Master smiles. "You've come a long way, Anakin," he replies. "You've found a path and a future that I never thought possible."
He ducks his head at the praise, warmth blooming inside of him. "Why are you here?" Because he wouldn't have come just to tell him that. He'd already sensed it on Kamino, even if hearing it in words is comforting.
"You are right, that you need to take a step back and learn to master the powers you have finally accepted," Qui-Gon tells him, "But you must be able to sense how your power is too much for the galaxy."
Anakin's expression tightens, and he looks away. It was something he had feared from the beginning. It was something all of them had feared, and that was why they'd pushed down their power. "I can't – I can't accept that," he murmurs, shaking his head, "I can't. I – we have family here, friends. We can't just leave them forever." An eternity of being away, alone, he can't imagine that, doesn't want to imagine that. It's – it's too much.
"There is a way," Qui-Gon answers slowly, a knowing look on his face. "You must find anchors. Each of you. Three anchors each. Your anchors will ground you, keep you rooted amidst humanity, so you do not cause mass destruction. You may be in control now, but it will not always be this way. The Force will guide you."
Anakin looks at him thoughtfully. "Rex," he realizes, remembering the link between him and Ahsoka, "He's one of Ahsoka's."
The apparition smiles. "Yes. She chose him without realizing she could."
"Will it change him? Any of them?" He thinks of Padme, and he wonders if he could ask that of her, if she'd agree.
"In some ways," Qui-Gon responds. "They must be able to match your power and bear it."
The disappointment that hits him is sharp. Padme isn't even Force sensitive. There's no way that she can be able to bear his power when he can hardly handle it himself. "Is there anyone who… can balance me?"
The Jedi Master regards him in silence for a moment. "There are always options, Anakin, even your own flesh and blood."
He frowns. "What does that mean?"
In answer, Qui-Gon only smiles mysteriously. "You'll figure it out."
And then, he fades as though he was never there, leaving Anakin with more questions than answers.
More meditating doesn't resolve those questions, either, not completely, but it does give him a newfound faith in himself and a path forward. They have possibilities, and he can work with that. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan listen quietly as Anakin repeats to them the conversation he has with Qui-Gon and the revelation about the anchors.
"I don't know how to pick them," Ahsoka admits, worried. "I don't… want to hurt someone."
"I don't think we will, if we listen to the Force's guidance," Anakin assures her, looking at his former master. "I assume we each need to pick people who… are similar to us, in their use of the Force."
Obi-Wan immediately scowls. "No."
"What?" Anakin asks, confused.
"I don't want to bond with Dark Siders," he clarifies.
"You're not going to be granting them power," Anakin answers. "You're – they'll keep you rooted, and I expect that for you, it will be more about you controlling them." He thinks about the Dark Siders who are known, and immediately realizes Obi-Wan's issue. There are some, scattered throughout the galaxy, but the strongest and most known are Palpatine and Ventress. … Yes, he can see why Obi-Wan is unhappy with that prospect.
"And for me, it'll be about… healing? Or something?" Ahsoka wonders.
Anakin shrugs. "Probably. For me, it will be about balance and power." He needs to go see Padme again, even if only to tell her that he's leaving for the indefinite future. He… doesn't know how to feel about that. She's important to him. She always has been, always will be. He loves her, and they're married, but he's different now, other, and he doesn't know if… how things will work out. He'd wanted to be able to leave after the war, to settle down and have a family. But he doesn't know now if that will happen, if he'll be able to have a family, children, and –
All at once, Qui-Gon's words come back to him.
"There are always options, Anakin, even your own flesh and blood."
… Oh.
Oh.
If he and Padme have a child, children, they would be able to be the anchors he needs. They could anchor him, and he could stay in this world, with the family he has gathered. He could stay with her, with the clones. He can fulfill his promise to Omega, to train her.
"Omega," Ahsoka says thoughtfully, "She could anchor me, I think. She's so… light. So bright. You can train her, like you promised her, and she could bond to me."
Anakin gives her a small smile. "It is a good idea. We can ask her." He has no doubt that she'll agree, though. "Master?"
Obi-Wan looks grumpy. "I don't want to bond to him."
"Is that what the Force is telling you to do?" Anakin queries, intrigued. If they're together, in the same room, the strength of the Force is almost smothering, especially for other people, but it also lets them stay rooted, grounded. But it's true what Qui-Gon said. It won't always be this way. They need to anchor themselves. They need to step away, even if only for a few months, to master themselves properly so they don't put people, planets, in danger.
"… Windu might do it," Obi-Wan admits finally, ignoring the question. "He knows more of the Dark than many Jedi."
"And there's Ventress, too," Anakin adds.
"I could also ask Cody!" Ahsoka suggests. "I thought about Echo or Fives, but I don't want one of them to feel excluded, and Omega just… feels right."
"I'm not bonding to Ventress, either," Obi-Wan grouses. Anakin can't tell if he's actually annoyed by it, or if he's just being stubborn. Maybe it's both.
"Yoda," he realizes suddenly, the name coming to him all at once. Of course. Yoda is one of the strongest known Force-sensitives, and he has the training and experience to anchor Anakin's powers until he has children.
"That is a good option," Obi-Wan says, grudgingly. He looks put out. "I… suppose I can… talk to Sidious again. … And find Ventress. I'm sure Windu will be amenable to the anchoring."
"He will be," Anakin promises. "He will understand the situation, and it's a good bargain if it will keep Sidious leashed. I know the Council is wary of leaving him in his office even if it was the best option so as to avoid the public being turned against the Jedi."
He doesn't know what to think about it, personally. It hurts, and it's all so confusing to him. Knowing that Palpatine is Sidious is one thing. Accepting it fully is what's hard. He knows that Palpatine is a Sith, that he probably only wanted Anakin for his power. And yet, he remembers when Palpatine would listen to him, how he'd let Anakin lead the conversation. He remembers getting guidance and understanding and support, and he doesn't understand how it could all have been a lie. Sometimes, he still finds himself thinking that he ought to talk to Palpatine, so everything will make sense, and then, he remembers.
Maybe time will make it easier. Or maybe if Obi-Wan anchors to him, he'll take the chance to be better. Maybe he doesn't want to be, though. Maybe this is really what Palpatine wants.
But maybe he was never given a chance before. Maybe he doesn't even know how to take that path. Maybe this is the first time he's ever been able to choose.
There are a lot of maybes, and it's easier not to dwell on them.
"What about you, Master?" Ahsoka wants to know. "Who else will you pick?"
He hesitates, but in the end, there's no way he can avoid telling them the truth. "I – I need to talk to Padme," he says slowly, "But… my children. Our children. I – we – we… married after Geonosis. We wanted to… have a family. Children. The only way I'll ever have that now is if we anchor."
Obi-Wan's expression is pinched with disapproval. "You were still a padawan!"
"How did I never notice?" Ahsoka asks, more shocked than anything else, her now green-blue wide. Anakin thinks she'll be disappointed later, because he broke the Code, and being a Jedi has always been so important to her.
"We were careful," Anakin answers with a shrug. "We never told anyone. I – I wanted to. I wanted to tell you, Master, but I knew you wouldn't approve or understand. I didn't want you to have to choose."
Obi-Wan opens his mouth and then closes it, radiating grudging acceptance into the Force. "I… do appreciate that. I don't approve, but I…" He trails off with a sigh. "I suppose I cannot be too harsh on you, Anakin. We're all different now. None of us are Jedi the way Jedi were meant to be."
"Maybe that's a good thing," Ahsoka suggests. "We can be different. Change is good."
And that is something none of them can dispute.
**w**
Normally, when Anakin goes to see Padme, he's happy. Excited, even. But now, all he feels is regret. They've already been apart so much, because of the war, and he's about to add to that. He won't see her again for months, but… what other choice is there? If he stays, he'll be risking all of reality, just for her, and no one is worth that. He'll have Obi-Wan and Ahsoka with him, two of the most important people in his lives, so he won't be alone, for all that he'll miss her and the boys, Rex most of all.
Padme stops mid-step when she sees him, her eyes going wide. "You look different," she blurts out. "You…"
There are no words that can truly express what he has become. He knows what he looks like. He knows why people used to consider the Ones to be gods. Maybe in the future, some places will consider him a god, too. He desperately hopes not, but it's not a realistic hope.
"I'm different," he agrees, suddenly very mindful of how his voice echoes, the way all the Ones' did. "It – much has happened, Padme."
"Tell me about it," she requests, beckoning to him.
He sits opposite her so she doesn't get overwhelmed by his power as he tells her about Mortis, about the Ones and Ahsoka. He told her before that Ahsoka died, and he told her later that it had been a lie, but he'd never explained, not like he is now. He tells her about how they took on the Ones' roles, and how they need to step away from the galaxy for a few months so they can learn to master themselves.
She's disappointed. He can see it, and it only makes him feel more guilty than he already does.
"I'm sorry," he says, not quite looking at her. "I know you were hoping we could be together more, now that the war is over. We – talked about a family, about children. Do – do you still want that?"
"Children?" Padme echoes, a soft smile flitting across her face. "I would like that, yes. Is it even possible now?"
"… I don't know," he answers, because that wasn't something he'd ever thought about. "Not until I anchor myself, but – oh." It hits him all at once. He never had a father, not in the literal sense. The Force created him. Can he… create life, too? He doesn't trust himself to touch Padme intimately until he's anchored, and Qui-Gon had implied that his children could do it, children who can't exist until he and Padme… Yeah.
Can he create children in her womb?
It's an intriguing thought, and he thinks the answer is yes.
"What is it?" Padme queries, leaning forward.
"I can create them," he tells her, "With the Force. They'll be able to anchor me, and then, we can go to Naboo, have the life we wanted. If – if that's what you want."
"Of course, it is," she promises, laughing lightly. "I never thought we'd see this day so soon, but I'm glad. I'm… happy. It's still so busy in the Senate, with the discussions of peace talks, but there is an end in sight. The war is over, and…" She shakes her head. "It still doesn't feel real."
Anakin can't help but go to her then, pulling her to her feet and into his arms as he gives her a brief, but fierce, embrace. He lets go of her, his organic hand stroking down her side and resting lightly on her abdomen. "Can I…?"
She bites her lip, but nods, radiating nothing but conviction and certainty.
The Force flows through Anakin, spreading into Padme, and she shivers but doesn't pull away. He closes his eyes as he focuses, willing life into her, willing himself into her. She sucks in a breath, one of wonder, so he doesn't stop to check on her as he feels the two lives flicker into existence. The children will be theirs, albeit not created through the usual means. They will still be their children.
"It's done," he says, pulling back with a small smile. "We'll have twins."
Padme hugs him again, tightly, leaning up to give him a fleeting kiss. "I'll get everything ready," she assures him.
"I'll only be gone for four months at most," he answers. "I'll be back in plenty of time to be with you through the end of the pregnancy and for the childbirth."
"I'll hold you to that."
"I'll be there," he vows, sealing it with a kiss before he pulls back. Saying goodbye to her is hard, but this time, he knows that when he returns, it will be to a forever.
**w**
Theirs is a story that never ends, for they are the Ones, the beginning, the middle, and the end. All of eternity is theirs, and whether they like it, or even know it, or not, there will be those who consider them gods. There will be those who worship them and make hymns to their names.
This is how it begins, with the Twilight landing on the remote planet of Ahch-To, deep in the Unknown Regions, a planet strong in both the Light and the Dark.
It begins with a journey of exploration into powers that no mortal can even begin to comprehend.
It begins with a self-imposed exile where the bonds between them are cultivated and cemented for all of eternity.
It begins with determination, with laughter, with a deep and unwavering affection, shared between those who have chosen one another as family.
It begins as the result of a promise to return the one who was lost, no matter the obstacles in the way.
They may never know what future they averted by accepting the burdens that they did. They may never know what may have unfolded had the Father not made the ultimatum he did.
It will be best if they never know.
**w**
"Oh, this place doesn't look so bad," Ahsoka says cheerfully, all but skipping through the grass as she heads away from the Twilight.
"Be careful!" Anakin calls, remembering the keep her safe, General, for all of us that Rex had said to him over a shared hug before they left.
"I'm always careful," Ahsoka replies loftily, turning to look back at him with a smirk – and promptly tripping and falling face first into the grass with a startled shriek.
Obi-Wan coughs to cover up a laugh, and Anakin snorts. "Did you hurt yourself, Snips?"
She huffs. "Shut up, Skyguy."
Anakin points at Obi-Wan. "Hey, he's the one with wings."
"Wingi-Wan," Ahsoka quips without missing a beat, "Or Wibi-Wan."
"Leave me out of this!" Obi-Wan protests, frowning. "I have nothing to do with this!"
"But, Master, who are you going to talk to, except for us?" Anakin teases, and Ahsoka giggles.
It's good to have family, even if that family consists of three once-mortal demi-gods – and when they return, their family will be even bigger.
This is their beginning.
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