16
The buses rolled back into town around dusk. Jack looking at Ianto with equal horror as clearly they had driven for almost a day before being turned back. Shit. There WAS a cordon in place, and it was a large one.
They whispered to one another as they walked back home along the main street "So… they think he is in the county still?"
"Yeah" Jack answered like they were talking about their dinner menu "they are determined to find him. One bus did get out… Suzie's with the unaccompanied minors on board so we can still fuck with them."
"Well… let's give them something"
Like what Tiger?" Jak asked glancing at him.
"I am thinking" Ianto tapped his finger to his lips as he stared into space and then slowly a smile formed. It was kinda creepy and exciting at the same time at see Ianto's naughty side come out to play. "My Grandfather was a man of wealth and power. Anyone and everyone on staff that was close had to undergo training. His bodyguards were elite… as I was his favourite grandchild and I was also tagged to be his successor he made me undergo the training too. Part of it is counter offence. Oh… I have something in mind Cariad!"
"Oh lord… they better be ready. Whatever you are gonna do, they will be bloody sorry" Jack grinned. "Let's get the boys."
Oh yes.
Ianto had ideas.
.
.
"Is it the worst one?"
Ianto was at a wooden fence, his foot on the bottom rung as he peered over the railing he was leaning on at the sheep milling inside it, the old farmer next to him chewing on some jerky. They both looked like they were a couple of weary farmhands talking about the World's problems.
"Are you kidding? I was about to put a bullet behind his bloody ear" the old man said, glaring at the ram. "You know… people have been killed by these things when they are rampaging. It's taken me down twice now."
"Right. Where are those clippers and spry cans" Ianto muttered, Owen already running for the animal as Ianto slowed, then groaned as Owen started to chase it around the enclosure like a fuckwitt. Oh well, might tire it out a bit.
"What the hell are we doing?" Rhys asked.
"We are making an alien. A really angry, pissed off, hard to catch one" Ianto replied.
Rhy slowly pivoted to stare at him "What?"
"OH yeah" Ianto grinned "I will give them something to fucking chase."
.
.
"Well? What do you think?" Ianto asked.
Jack looked at the purple monster, the hanks of wool cut out the size of fists were green, and the horns were orange. Horns that had been tipped with tin foil like they were a head adornment or something, complete with some tacky paste jewelry like a crown on the head of the beast.
Jack looked at Ianto with wide eyes.
"What? Too much?" Ianto canted his head as he squinted his eyes "Too much green?"
"Well…" Jack pulled a face. "We are trying to go for juvenile delinquents so when thy catch it everyone just laughs and tells them they asked for it but… I don't know… too childish?"
"Right. Stand back" Owen shook a spray can next to his head with a look of determination and slowly walked over to the creature Rhys and John were trying to hold still, spraying a thick blast of yellowish gold specks over the entire thing.
"Oh wow. Not it looks like it should be on Star Trek or something" Ianto said with fake awe "Owen… you are an artist."
"Ta. I could have used you for my Medical school prank ideas, this is awesome" Owen preened as he slapped it's arse and John squealed as Rhys let go to scold, the Tam taking off through the carpark, heading for the kid's playground that was straight across from the diner.
Soon screaming started and Ianto sighed "You think maybe letting it go like this in the middle of the town was a good idea?"
"Done now Tiger" Jack said, then laughed as three black SUVs flew past with lights going on the grillwork. Owen holding two used cans behind his back as he grinned maniacally at John.
"And… there they go."
The team stood watching as the Ram turned for the far trees and disappeared, the doors of the SUVs flying open and men in suits flowing into the underbrush.
"They are NEVER gonna catch it, are they" Owen said with glee. "Man… a girl would have at least put the handbrake on. Look at that one… gonna wind up in the lake!"
"Oh boy… nope. It's gone."
With soft laughter they all wandered home as Owen dumped the spray cans in the rubbish bin along the way. "Maybe there are some girl rams out there and he can live a life on the run with baby rams along for the ride, like bandits! Little horns and fierce roars of doom… like … a legend is born"
Everyone gave him the crazy eye as Rhy huffed softly "Bloody city kids."
.
.
"Where is he?"
"At school."
"What?" Jack asked with confusion.
"Well… I thought it best. If he is to act like a kid. Besides, he might learn something" Ianto shrugged.
"Who knows."
.
.
"Eddie" Ianto called out, waving as the kids scattered and Eddie ran for him, his arms flapping as he pretend to be a bird. Apparently they were all birds now. Like he had hoped Eddie had learnt something. How to act like a kid. Ianto laughed, kneeling to accept the hug, then he lifted him up "Had a good day there kiddo? Come on. Hungry? Look. I got some fresh Brussel sprouts right out of the communal gardens. Picked on my way here and washed in the stream."
The little one made a humming noise Ianto had never heard before. He was showing his delight in sound.
So, he WAS learning something, hopefully in time he might learn how to communicate?
Ianto knew he had time to wait.
.
.
The evening meal was amazing, Jack flouncing about with an apron on. Gwen asked "Why can he be in your kitchen and not me?"
"Well… my Kiss the Cook apron does quite work with you" Ianto said as he took another bite of the roast meat.
Everyone sniggered as Ianto moaned around the meat.
"I will tell you what Gwen… how about… a picnic. We all have a nice little wander across the town green for that band rotunda that looks so cute. We can have a picnic lunch, have some pics taken as I really think we need some photos to memorialize our time here… and some nice soda pop." Ianto said, feeling generous "I will leave that all to you. I know you will have some ideas on food. I bet you loved picnics at the beach when you were a kid. Come on. One up in the middle of town, show everyone we are just one happy family, also… some toys or something that will shoe Eddie is just another little boy having fun. We can let Owen play with him."
Giggling as Owen pointed his knife at Ianto "Did you just call me a kid?"
"No Owen. I just think, of all of us here, you might be the most entertaining for him." Ianto replied calmly.
"Oh. Well. Ta."
Toshiko hid her face so her husband would not see her amusement as she knew damned well what Ianto meant and how he had just emphasised it right out there and Owen had misinterpreted it as per usual.
She knew with a pang in her heart that she didn't want it to end.
She liked it here.
This family of Torchwood Airlines.