Promises

Chapter Eighteen

Xander knocked on Buffy's front door and waited. Usually he would've just let himself in but given their fight the previous evening he thought it would probably be better to knock.

Buffy answered the door, she was a little surprised to see him. "Hey" she said softly

"Hey, can I come in?" He asked

"Sure" she said stepping aside and letting him cross the threshold.

She went and sat on the couch and he sat next to her. "If you're here to fight about Spike then you might as well just leave now, I'm done fighting"

"I'm not here to fight… I just want to understand… All those times I told Spike to get lost ... that he didn't have a chance with a girl like you"

"You don't know how hard it's been" said Buffy

"What, lying to me?" He asked

"Being here. After I was brought back…" Buffy sighed and calmed herself down "You have no idea how hard it is just being here coupled with that I had Dawn and then Connor to take care of he was there for me… for us"

"We were there for you" he argued

"Oh c'mon Xander, since you found out where I was… where you pulled me from. Can you really sit there and say you've been here for me?"

"So you went to him instead?"

"Xander, it wasn't about going to him… I mean at first it was but then he showed me that he could be a good man" she told him

"Are you forgetting about his crazy demon eggs scheme?"

"He was trying to help me, help Dawn… financially it was about money!"

As they were talking Spike slipped through the back door quietly. He stood in the hallway and listened to their conversation.

Xander laughed bitterly "So now you're making excuses for him?"

"You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn" Buffy reminded him

"But I never forgot what he really is. God, what are you thinking?"

"You're asking me that? I could write a list of demons that you've found attractive… including your wife"

"Hey! I love Anya! And yes I made some mistakes…But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn or Connor then?" Xander asked angrily

"It's not the chip Xander, I don't know how you can't see the changes he's made. Yes, he doesn't have a soul but he's trying and that's all I could ever ask of him" said Buffy

Spike stood silent in the hallway, he hadn't moved as he didn't want to draw attention to himself. Overhearing Buffy & Xander's conversation was just more confirmation that his plan to get a soul was a good idea. He knew that the group wouldn't fully accept him until he proved himself.

"And what happens when the inevitable happens?" He asked

"What?"

"When you break up and he goes all hell bent on getting revenge? How safe do you think we're all going to be then?" He bellowed

Buffy shook her head "He is not Angel" she spat

"You're blind!" Xander told her

That was the last straw for Spike. He charged into the living room "You're wrong!" He snarled

"Oh still stalking around huh Spike?" Xander rolled his eyes

"You are wrong boy! That might be hard for you to believe and I don't have the time nor the bloody crayons to explain this to you! I love her" Spike bellowed

"You can't love without a soul you moron! You're just obsessed with her!" Xander argued

That did it. The hit came a lot quicker than Spike expected. It was a stern blow to Xander's face. Spike yelled out as the chip fired and Xander hit the floor. Blood spread across Xander's face from his nose.

"Xander!" Buffy knelt beside him

"He's changed huh?" Xander said clutching his nose as he got to his feet "You let that evil soulless thing in to your life… I don't want to be around when it all comes apart"

Xander left slamming the front door behind him.

Buffy got to her feet and looked at Spike who was still clutching his head.

"That went well" Spike said sarcastically

Buffy sighed heavily "How am I supposed to convince them that you've changed when you pull crap like this?"

"He had it coming!" said Spike

"Why did you do that? You just made everything a million times worse!" She yelled

"He'll come around Slayer" Spike shrugged

"Yeah I'm sure you beat it into him that you've changed!" Buffy said exasperated

"So I'm just supposed to take his shit?" He asked

"It might be a good start!" Buffy yelled back

Spike chuckled bitterly "Right"

"What?"

"It's fine Slayer… I get it, I'm still dirt to you" he said sadly

"No… Spike" she tried to explain

"No I am… it's not that you're not trying to see past all the things I've done, but when alls said and done I'm still beneath you" he said heading for the door

"Spike…" Buffy tried

"It's okay Slayer… I'll be back later to put Connor to bed" he said slamming the door behind him making Buffy jump

XXXXX

As Spike walked down the steps to Buffy's house he ran into Tara.

"Spike… what's wrong?" She asked

"I'm sure the Slayer will fill you in" he sighed

"Okay… listen, I found something that I think could help you" she smiled digging into her bag and pulling out a necklace with a large black tourmaline crystal.

"It's enchanted" she told him passing it over to him "It'll pick up on your need for her… for Buffy and hopefully it will bring you back here… but it's not been tested…"

"I'm sure it will be fine, thank you Glinda" he smiled putting it into his pocket

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Tara asked "Because even without the soul, I believe she loves you"

Spike laughed softly "Maybe… but I'm still… I don't want to hurt her Tara. It would destroy me I did anything to harm her, doing this is the best way to prevent that"

Tara nodded "if you're sure?"

"I am. Look, don't mention this to the Slayer. Not yet" he instructed her