Bart and Frink's Almost Excellent Adventures VIII Gender Bender Bart and Professor Frink have to sort out another mess, this time involving everyone changing gender.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is: "This is the last Bart and Frink chapter of the saga, I swear."
Bart was helping clean Frink's lab again one afternoon. He is mopping the floor.
Oscar is being groped and tied up by the lustful green tentacle mutant again.
Oscar moans aroused.
Bart squints at him. "Oz seriously! Enough!"
Oz gasped and moaned as the slimy green tentacles coiled and slithered around him.
Ccousin Hank seethed.
Flapdoodle invoked an army of squirrels.
Squirrels swarm in. Chittering and squeaking as they arrive. They were after everyone's nuts.
"Hell no!" Bart yelled.
"It's Minister Flapdoodle now. I joined the church." said Minister Flapdoodle.
"Okay..." said Bart. He rolled his eyes.
"Also my acolytes are psychic penguins from the sun.
"Accursed sun penguins!" Oscar snapped.
Professor Frink arrived. "Gahoy! Now Bart, I have created a machine. Glavin!"
Bart listened to what the boffin had to say.
"what will it do?" Bart asked.
"I have no idea. So might as well find out." said Frink.
"Oh I hope it dispenses chocolate pudding! Or turns vegetables into chocolate pudding!" Oscar yelled delighted.
Frink frowned. "Uh no... It won't do that..."
"Oz are you still fixated on that chocolate pudding ray gun..." Hugo sighed.
"That, and the sharks with monkey arms..." said Oscar.
Hugo face palmed.
"Please keep your inane comments to yourself Oscar, I was about to conduct the experiment..." Frink sighed.
"Can it wait? I need the bathroom..." said Hank.
Frink sighed.
Hank went to the bathroom.
...
The cute land of the Happy Little Elves. And rainbows and unicorns etc.
Lisa and Ralph encounter Bubbles, a Happy Little Elf.
"Hey there!" said the elf. "Welcome to our happy little world!" Said world was sickeningly sweet and saccharine.
Ralph screamed. "Aaaaaaaaagh! Elves!"
Lisa winced.
"Okay..." said Bubbles.
Bubbles guides Lisa and a hysterical Ralph to the elf village.
Elves are picking Elf Berries.
"I'm Elfo!" said Elfo. Damnit! not yet Elfo!
Lisa grimaced.
The elves giggled and ran about joyfully.
Lisa smiled. She loves such sickening cuteness.
Ralph is horrified because in his book Clancy mentions he is frightened if the Happy Little Elves for some weird, freakish reason...
Ralph decided to retreat into his imagination of Wiggle Puppy and the pyromaniac leprechaun to keep calm and channel out the horrible elves.
In town a ritual was happening. A young baby boy with his hands tied behind his back was led up on a stage. He infant was wearing only a white diaper.
"Release the Curious Bear Cub!" said an elf with a beard.
A huge chest was opened. Out popped a cute smiling bear cub with a big round wet shiny green nose.
The baby boy winced and sweated.
Lisa frowned. Looks like the elves are giving that weird fuzzbrain a new friend to torment.
The giant Curious Bear Cub sniffed the boy with his big wet shiny nose. The baby boy sweated and grimaced.
Lisa tutted and rolled her eyes.
The giant cute cartoon bear cub shrank himself and began sniffing the brown haired boy's diaper. The boy sweated and squirmed. But two burly elves restrained him.
"Hold your nerve Lisa... Think happy thoughts..." Lisa told herself.
The weird green bear cub was still sniffing the poor boy.
...
Frink's lab.
"As I was saying, I have no idea what this device does." said Professor Frink addressing his new device.
"Kinda risky... don't ya think?" said Bart.
"Well science is about taking risks." said Frink.
Bart was about to speak but Frink continued, cutting him off.
"And that's rich coming from the boy who always causes utter madness every time he touches something in my laboratory..." said Professor Frink.
Bart frowned at Frink.
"Ie like that time Milhouse thought you had turned him invisible..." said Hugo.
"I refuse to allow this story to continue until you kill that disgusting little creep Oscar!" Hank screamed in a tantrum.
"That ain't happening. Do you want to see life's manager, Little Karen?" Oscar said coldly.
Hank seethed. "Karen?! I'm a Karen?! You're calling me over entitled for not wanting you to write creepy smut fan fictions involving diapers?!" He snapped. "Fuck this! I'm going home!"
Oscar stuck up two middle fingers at Hank.
Bart glared at Oscar. "He has a point... You're weird..."
Oscar made his double middle finger gesture at Bart too.
Bart face palmed.
Hank came back with a dagger and trued to stab Oscar.
"Back off, mindless scum!" Oscar yelled firing a kamehameha beam at Hank, sending him flying.
Bart frowned at Oscar.
"HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN CARTA MUNDI!" Minister Flapdoodle yelled.
Hugo winced.
"Okay can you stop acting like a nut... and You two stop fighting..." Frink sighed. Oscar and Hank are throttling each other.
"He started it!" They accuse each other.
Bart sighed.
"Can I just-"
Oscar kicked Hank in the crotch, hard.
"B'oh! My squeedly-spooch!" Hank cried, winded.
Frink sighed.
...
Frink activated the device.
Oscar grew four extra arms.
"Coooool! Now I can flip more middle fingers at that asshole Hank!" said Oscar.
He makes six middle fingers at Hank.
Hank seethed.
Bart sighed and shook his head.
Hugo shrugged.
"I hate it when everyone argues..." Frink sighed.
Oscar then got out from his sweater, a very explicit XXX hentai manga.
Hank was repulsed.
Oscar moans aroused while reading the Hentai manga.
Bart seethed.
"I'm trying to include the word kangaroo in my dialogue but you are creeping me out!" Hank yelled.
"It's got pictures of uh lacy's squirty holes..." Oscar mentioned Hank's weird euphemisms.
"Ooooooh!" Hank read his manga.
Bart winced.
"Ah! My Kangaroo Joe is hard!" Hank whined.
Oscar winced.
"He's talking about his wiener... His Johnson... His trouser snake..." said Hugo.
"Okay..." said Oscar.
"Don't use those terms! You'll get spanked!" Hank whined.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
He continued reading hid hentai.
Suddenly Shauna arrived.
"Hank's creator needed back up to get rid of you, creep." said Shauna Chalmers.
"Hank's creator can go fuck himself!" Oscar snapped. He snapped his fingers and sent Shauna back home.
Frink sighed.
"I am the pineapple Platypus!" Flapdoodle yelled.
"No! I am the pineapple platypus!" said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
...
Land of the Happy Little Elves.
Lisa read Nancy Drew books while sat on a toadstool stool.
Ralph drank non alcoholic mint juleps.
Lisa winced.
"I like a good mystery solver with strong female characters." said Lisa.
"I like my cat, Mittens..." said Ralph.
Oscar arrived in a puff of smoke. He was holding books with his six arms.
"I like Enid Blyton."
Lisa smiled. "The light hearted fantasy world is cute."
"Nah... I just like her books because she keeps naming two of her characters Dick and Fanny... Gahahaha!" Oscar laughed.
Lisa frowned while covering Ralph's ears.
Oscar laughed and teleported back to Frink's lab.
The elves sang and danced in a sappy annoying manner. singing about Wuv etc.
Lisa seems to tolerate this.
The Curious Bear Cub was still annoying that kid. He sniffed the boy's diaper with his big wet shiny green nose.
The boy backed away. But the pesky green bear cub kept sniffing him.
"Okay that's enough fuzz-brain..." Lisa sighed.
The bear cub frowned at her and made a gookie. He sniffed the boy's diaper, his wet nose quivered and twitched.
The brown haired infant frowned and squeezed his big green shiny nose. It squeaked like a toy. The boy giggled and squeezed his nose again.
The cartoon green bear cub rubbed his sore nose and grinned. He sniffed the boy again.
Lisa frowned.
Ralph sipped his non-alcoholic mint julep while his leprechaun tried to convince him to start a fire.
"Burn it boyo! Burn it all!" said the leprechaun in a frenzied obsession for fire.
Along the way back Oscar had to deal with a demon sorcerer ie like Zargon or Dark lord Jinn.
Oscar sighed and got out his Besom skyterror broom to ride on.
"I thought I banished you to oblivion..." Oscar sighed.
"Well you didn't..." said Zargon or Jinn etc.
...
Frink's lab.
"Can we get on with the main story..." Frink sighed.
"Fine..." said Oscar.
Frink zapped him again. He lost his extra arms and became normal.
Frink zapped Bart, he became muscular.
"Whoa-Ho-ho-ho! Coooooool!" Bart flexed his muscles.
Frink zapped him, he returned to normal. Bart groaned. "Awwwww... I liked being buff and tough looking...
Then disaster struck. Frank's invention exploded.
"Glavin!" Frink gasped.
Everyone woke up to find they had changed gender.
"Hey guys I'm back from the toilet! Wait why are you all… how do I say this….Different?" Cousin Hank asked.
Bart Looks in the mirror. He or should I say "She" is now a girl. "Ay carumba!"
Hank then looks in the mirror. Hank screams like a little girl. Well she is a girl now.
"Professor what have you done?!" Bart as a girl yelled.
Hugo as a girl winced and gawked at her new appearance.
Oscar seemed to not mind being a girl now.
"Eh... Some of the females of Teddy's species have the power to change people's genders... It has happened to me... a lot..." said Oscar. "Besides I have floofy pigtails now!"
She still wore green goggles, but instead of the Troll Doll hairdo she had huge fluffy pigtails.
Bart winced. "Yeah even as a girl your hair is big..."
Hank wept.
Bart cringed. "I can't go around wearing a dress! I don't do dresses!"
"You do now, as physically you are now a girl." said Professor Frink.
"Ay carumba..." Bart groaned.
Hank was playing with her own boobs and humming to catwalk music.
Bart winced.
"Oh so you can be a perv but I can't..." Oscar frowned.
"Oz your freakish obsession for quicksand and diapers is illegal..." Hank snarled.
Oscar stuck her tongue out in a ruse manner at Hank.
Plot 2
They decide they better get home.
"We better get home and explain..." Girl Bart groaned as Dad always blamed him for the freakish results of Frink's experiment.
"Wait, I can fix this!" said Frink.
"No you can't. Gender swap is irreversible." said the exploding device. It exploded again.
Oscar winced.
They decide to go home.
"I can't be wearing dresses and frilly underwear..." said Bart blushing.
Suddenly Milhouse was waiting for them on Frink's front lawn.
"Milhouse?! You're a girl now?!" Bart gasped.
Milhouse gasped. "Well uh... You're a girl too!"
"I know..." Bart groaned.
"The experiment must have affected the whole town..." said Hugo.
"This is horrible..." said Hank.
Bart nodded.
"No it's not just because this is embarrassing. I'm also transphobic... I see this whole shebang as degeneracy..." Hank grimaced disgusted.
Bart frowned.
"Don't hate! Prude!" Oscar yelled.
"Don't brow beat! Perv! You're not something that needs to be part of Pride or requires a pride flag!" Hank snapped.
Girl Oscar punched her.
"Ow!" Hank whined.
Bart sighed.
"Let's just get home..." Hugo sighed.
They head home.
Bill the Waffleman hurls steaming hot, syrupy waffles at them.
"Oz cut that out!" Bart yelled.
Oscar laughed.
Hugo winced.
...
Springfield Square, where the statue of Jebeciah is. Giant golden Homer lumbered about.
"Oh curse this glorious golden ass..." He groaned.
Golden Bender from the other universe frowned.
Rameses Amonkhet, the pharaoh from Sunday, Cruddy Sunday and Sweet and Sour Marge II was plotting to create an army of undead mummies to conquer America and take over and rule it as king.
"What a glorious golden colossus, I shall add it to my palace!" said Rameses Amonkhet.
"Who you callin' an it?" asked giant golden Homer.
Rameses screamed and fled.
Giant golden Homer sighed and sat on a pet store, crushing it.
"Oops!" Giant Golden Homer gulped.
Speaking of gold, The Happy Little Elves were after Captain Snaggletooth's treasure again.
"Is that wise..." Lisa sighed.
Bubbles and Yendor pointed their bows, armed with a sharp arrow each, ready to fire.
Lisa sighed.
"Burn the monkeys... burn the monkeys..." Ralph's leprechaun whispered to him. Ralph smiled and nodded.
"Well you gweenies go tweasure huntin'... I wanna pway with tiny diapee baby..." said the Curious Bear cub who was gigantic again. He held that brown haired tot from earlier in his green furry paw.
The boy grunted and struggled.
Lisa frowned. "How about you leave that poor kid alone..."
"How about you join him as one of my toys..." The cartoon green bear cub grabbed the tiny, compared to him, Lisa.
Lisa grunted, held in the giant green bear cub's paw.
The elves winced.
"You can't keep kidnapping people because you want to play with them..." Bubbles sighed.
The green cartoon bear cub frowned while holding two tiny yellow kids.
"Come on fuzzball..." Yendor sighed.
"No!" The Curious Bear Cub sulked.
Bubbles sighed.
The elves' quest hit a snag because of the Curious Bear Cub wanting to stop for playtime...
Tbe giant green cartoon bear cub sniffed one of his captives with his big wet shiny nose.
...
Through out town a wave of change flooded over the far from ordinary town of Springfield. Everyone changed gender. Men became women etc.
"I can't tell the difference with Mel with his hair down... He always looked like lady to me..." said Krusty.
Sideshow Mel frowned.
Bart, Oscar, Hugo and Hank arrive home.
Bart was dreading what awaited him.
A raccoon hissed.
Hank as a girl shrieked.
Bart hushed her.
"My voice box broke?!" Hank whined.
"No... you're a girl now..." said Bart as a girl.
They went in.
"Boy! What did you do?!" Homer yelled. She was now a very large, blob of a woman.
Marge was a tall thin man with a blue beehive. It looked ridiculous now on a man. He sighed softly.
"It wasn't me!" Bart whined.
"Bart she said boy... You're a girl..." Oscar whispered.
Bart rolled her eyes.
"Oh great... the boy's using the Shaggy defence..." Homer sighed.
"Like Zoinks Scoob!" said Oscar.
"Not that Shaggy..." Homer sighed.
"I am still unfamiliar with that musician..." said Oscar.
"You're supposed to be enjoying this genderswap... HomeGirl..." said Hank frowning.
"Why?! This is weird!" Homer yelled.
"But that's how I wrote the story..." Hank whined.
"You're a terrible writer... You troll people who write things you don't like..." Oscar frowned.
"STOP WRITING ABIUT DIAPERS YOU FREAK!" Hank screamed.
Oscar tsk'ed and sighed.
Hank seethed.
...
A few moments later.
"Well I do look Fabulous..." said Homer.
He was thinking about that dream where he married himself again...
Oscar winced when she saw a dream cloud containing two imaginary Homer's kissing each other.
"I love you Homer..."
"And I love you, Homer..."
Oscar cringed. "This is why I hate having telepathic powers..."
"Everyone don't fret... Frink can fix this right?" Marge asked.
"Yeah of course. His machine gained sentience though, and it is throwing a tantrum..." said Bart.
Marge sighed.
"Well Lisa hasn't got back from the Land of the Happy Little Elves yet..." Marge explained.
Bart groaned. "Please don't mention those sappy little elves..."
Oscar giggled and swung about hold her skirt doing curtseys.
"Stop that!" said Female Homer.
"Um you two should be a lot more concerned that everyone's genders got swapped around..." Hugo as a girl sighed.
"Shut up freak!" Homer snapped.
"No you shut up!" Oscar snapped.
Homer scoffed.
"Homer!" Marge nagged Homer.
Lisa came in. However she was now a boy...
"Baaaaart! What did you do?!" Lisa yelled.
Oscar smirked seeing Lisa as a boy.
"This time it wasn't my fault. Frink tested a new machine without testing it on someone else first..." said Bart.
"I can concur. This incident for once is not my twin's fault..." said Hugo.
"Yeah right..." Lisa sighed.
Lisa went to her or his room for a moment.
She or he screamed from their room.
"I have a wiener now?!"
"can we please keep this story E rated..." Hank sighed. "Because I am an overly sensitive Karen..."
"Nope. People are allowed to write racy fan fictions..." said Oscar.
...
Later.
"Mom! Dad! I think we need to go and find Professor Frink to sort this gender swap thing out..." said Lisa.
"Go there yourself then!" Homer said rudely and coldly.
"Fine..." said Lisa.
Homer scoffed.
"Dad why d'ya have to be so rude?!" Lisa yelled.
"Because you have become a real Mary Sue or in your current boyhood, a Marty Stu! You want to be practically perfect in every way... And that makes a real shallow character and poor writing..." said Homer.
Lisa seethed.
"She's definitely not perfect... She's pompous and high and mighty... She thinks she knows best..." Bart sighed.
"Uh excuse me! I have foresight! I think before I act! I don't just blunder i to things like you!" Lisa yelled.
"You're a militant vegetarian. If you want to stop eating meat, I don't mind. But don't force your lifestyle on others..." said Oscar.
"Raising livestock is killing the planet! This affects everyone!" Lisa ranted.
"No it doesn't. You can give up meat but the rest of us want to keep eating burgers... real burgers..." said Oscar.
Lisa seethed.
She or he gets on their pink bike.
"Ow! My wiener!" Lisa groaned.
"Kangaroo Joe..." said Hank.
"Hank we are not using your euphemisms..." Lisa sighed.
"Reeeeeeeeeee!" Hank screamed angrily.
"I think she's triggered..." Oscar said to Bart.
Bart laughed.
Hank seethed.
Lisa then drives at the speed of light to get to the lab.
"That's impossible. Nothing with a mass can travel at the speed of light..." said Hugo as a girl.
"Geek." said Homer.
...
Lisa pedals her or now his bike to Frink's lab.
"Haw Haw! You're riding a girl's bike..." said Nelson as a girl.
Lisa sighed. This is so embarrassing... Wait! No it's not! I am a girl! My appearance is just different!"
"We did a gender bender story too..." said Bender.
"No one cares..." said Lisa.
Bender scoffed.
Bill the Waffleman was hurling steaming hot waffles. Lis ducked to avoid getting hit.
"We should follow her, I mean him..." said Girl Bart.
"Agreed." said Hugo.
They follow on their bikes, at a reasonable speed with out hyperbole.
Lisa storms into the lab.
"Why am I a boy now?! I have a wiener!" Lisa blushed.
"Kangaroo Joe..." Hank insisted on his weird euphemisms.
"Hank we're not using your childish euphemisms..." said Bart.
Hank screamed with rage.
"Oh dear... Well um..." Frink gulped.
"Professor change everyone back!" Lisa said sharply.
"Dicks! Dicks! Dicks!" Oscar was being rude.
"Hey! I am trying to keep this story PG!" Hank yelled.
"Ha! You're so triggered!" Oscar laughed.
Hank seethed.
"Need your safe space Karen..." Oscar taunted Hank.
"Hurry up Professor! I suddenly prefer cars to dolls! Ugh! This isn't me..." said Lisa.
"I have pigtails now! Big fwuffy pigtails!" said Girl Oscar playing with her pigtails that resemble Zoey's from Dinosaur King.
"Yes we can see that Oz..." said Bart.
Hank was playing with her own boobs again.
"Stop doing that!" Bart yelled.
Plot 3
Frink's lab.
"How do we fix this..." Bart asked.
"I don't know..." said Frink.
"You should know! You're the poindexter here!" Bart yelled.
"UNFIXABLE. DEAL WITH IT." said the machine.
"Guess ill have to get used to being neutered." Hank sighed.
"Silence! You arrogant automaton!" Oscar scolded the stubborn machine.
It zapped her.
"Aaaaaaaiiiiiieeee!"
Frink sighed.
Lisa sighed.
"Let's just hit the town..." said Bart.
"Bart no! We are not going anywhere until the Professor fixes this..." said Lisa.
"If I can..." said Frink.
"NEGATIVE. GET OUT." said the machine.
Lisa frowned.
"That's enough from you! You! Blathering bumpkin!" Oscar yelled at the machine.
It exploded, covering her in soot.
Lisa was outraged.
"STOP WITH THE BLACKFACE GAGS! "
Oscar rolled her eyes.
Girl Ralph played with her toys.
"How can you play at a time like this?!" Lisa ranted.
Ralph hushed him.
"Please do something Professor..." Hugo whined.
Frink ponders.
"First I need to sort out this machine's defective attitude..."
"Defective?! You dare call me defective?!" The machine yelled.
Oscar stuck her tongue out at the machine.
...
Town.
Julio is seen looking in a mirror at his salon.
He or should I say she screamed.
"I wonder babe... Am I a straight woman now or a lesbian?" said Julio, ow Julia.
Gaspard shrugged her shoulders.
"Well you know my motto... snip snip!" Julio decided they should continue cutting hair...
Mr Burns's Mansion.
"I resemble Kathy from Personnel..." said Mrs Burns.
Lady Smithers sighed.
"You didn't spike my tea did you?!" Mr Burns seethed.
"No Sir! Honestly!" said Smithers.
Burns sighed.
The General Hospital.
Dr Hibbert as a woman giggled.
Her giggle was used by meme creating nerds for Bowsette's giggle. Yeah um more on that in a few seasons...
"Doctor how is this situation amusing..." A scrub sighed.
"It's not. I just can't resist chuckling! Ah hee hee hee!"
Moleman sighed. He was having heart surgery that day.
At Frink's lab Ralph asked silly questions.
"Are drag queens now drag kings?"
Bart winced.
"My cat's breath smells like cat food..." said Ralph.
Bart sighed and face palmed.
"I'm digging the purple..." Oscar admired Bart's purple dress.
Bart blushed.
"Let's go bike riding!" said Hank.
Bart and Hank escape.
Frink activates a huge magnet. The force pulls Bart and Hank back into the lab.
Bart sulked.
"Go go gadget magnet..." Oscar smirked.
...
Frink's lab.
"Aw man." Bart groaned as she wanted to goof off.
"I have a idea for the cure!" said Frink.
"What." Bart asked flatly.
"Well it's already made so. Just need to press one button."
"You idiot." said the argumentative machine.
"Shut up!" Oscar snapped.
The machine blew up in her face.
"Oz stop arguing with it..." Hugo sighed.
"Frink then uses it and instead of changing everyone back he or she turns plants sentient and makes them talk. Now animals are talking."
"I really fancy chicken..." said a bald eagle.
"CANNIBAL!" Frink's hamster screamed.
"Seymoooooouuurrr..." a Venus flytrap sings.
"Yes?" Skinner asked from a doorway.
Oscar laughed. "Little Shop of Horrors..."
Hugo rolled her eyes.
Bart sighed exasperated.
"How will we fix this..." Frink said with a frown.
"I SAID YOU CAN'T." said the argumentative machine.
The Machine then explodes
"Stop exploding you coward!" Oscar yelled.
Bart winced.
"I guess we maybe stuck like this..." said Frink.
"I don't want bosoms!" Bart cried.
"I don't mind..." Hank was playing with her own boobs again.
"Hank I swear if you don't stop!" Bart yelled.
"I'm going home to let Teddy sniff my diaper..." said Oscar. He wants his creepy teddy bear thing to sniff him...
Hank seethed.
"Oz don't be weird..." Bart groaned.
...