I staggered in disbelief. My knees began to shake, and my heart wildly thumped against my chest I could hardly breathe. I was about to bolt out of the door, but I found myself rooted to the spot when a very familiar photograph on top of Niles's pillow caught my eye. With trembling fingers, I picked up the ripped photo of myself from the group photo taken on Maxwell's fortieth birthday. Everyone believed my picture was cut from the group by Niles just to spite me, but never in a hundred years would I have thought to find it here in his room.

In the middle of the open suitcase, on top of his clothes, lay a wooden box. Curiously, I opened it and examined its contents. I gasped at the sight of an old photo I had used in my resume years ago before I became a producer. I looked so young and impressionable. A part of a group of pictures in my portfolio and set card when I was still modelling. How did Niles get a copy of this? An old resume must have been in the pile of old papers in my office drawer.

A little black book stood out in the center of the wooden box. I flipped a few pages and read the entry.

It was a journal.

22 December 1993

"Maxwell, look I'm standing underneath a mistletoe!"

She was standing by the office doorway underneath the mistletoe, and she had that gorgeous smile on her beautiful face, her blond hair up in chignon, inviting Mr. Sheffield to give her the traditional kiss. A pang of jealousy shot through me; I almost threw in another offending slur in her direction but Ms. Fine well-naturedly gave her a peck on the cheek, immediately abating my anger. If only she would throw me that same enchanting smile. I heard she and Mr. Sheffield will be spending Christmas together for a charity event. I won't let it get the better of me… I won't.

Mr. Sheffield is not attracted to her, or is he?

14 November 1994

I overheard she and Mr. Sheffield were missing Sylvia's birthday party to spend the weekend at Gene Shalit's, one of their associates on Broadway. There was a glint in her eyes at the prospect of sharing a cottage by the sea with Mr. Sheffield. I hope to God Mr. Sheffield would always remain oblivious to her charms, unlike me who seem to drown deeper and deeper into her feminine charms.

I can't take the risk. A weekend alone with Mr. Sheffield in a beach cottage.

I locked her in the wine cellar.

My fingers were shaking as flipped through the pages. I know I should stop. I know I should get out of his room, but I was drawn to each prose he had candidly written.

11 September 1995

I could strangle Ms. Fine for putting ideas in Ms. Babcock's head introducing her to the soap opera where the lady protagonist was in-love with her oblivious business partner, and she was going to seduce him.

Cold shivers went down my spine when Mr. Sheffield told her to work on Saturday night and to my horror she arrived in her beautiful black strapless evening gown. Wasn't she a trifle bit overdressed? How in the world can they get any work done? I know I couldn't every time she was in the same room with me.

Thank heavens Mr. Sheffield went out that night to go with Ms. Fine to check her pen pal. My heart broke into several tiny pieces as I watch her prepare the champagne and that artificial fireplace to set the mood. I could ravish her right there and then, but I fought the urge by making fun of her.

I pretended to be Mr. Sheffield and asked her to chuckle like a chicken to turn me on.

How I love the sound of her scream and that horror in her aqua blue eyes when she found out it was me. Even in embarrassment and horror… with her face all red…she was still the most beautiful woman in the world.

I felt a lump on my throat reading Niles' most private thoughts… and they were all about me.

"Someone's poking her nose into someone else's business. Haven't you heard of the adage Curiosity Killed the Cat?"

I dropped the book on the floor at the sound of Niles' voice. I felt my knees weaken. Was it because of the mixed drinks I've had earlier? Or was it because I was in a very precarious position at edge of his bed while his eyes were undressing every inch of me.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless. I stood rooted on the spot and before I knew it, he was standing so close to me I could see the inflection of desire in his eyes.

"You should have run when you had the chance Ms. Babcock," he said in a low voice.

I tried backing away from him, but I fell back on his bed. In one stroke he pushed his suitcase out of the bed, and it went sprawling on the floor as he straddled atop me kneeling on the bed as I tried my best to sit up from beneath him, resting on my elbows, meeting his eyes with false bravery.

"Niles let's talk about this," I said calmly but confidently even if my heart was pounding loudly on my chest.

"I'm done talking Ms. Babcock. I tried talking to you four times and where did that get me?" he bellowed furiously.

"We haven't talked… you proposed…" I said, trying to weasel my way out of his bed.

He neither looked angry nor violent, just determined, resolute... a man hell-bent on getting what he wanted, and I would be blind not to know what he wanted right now. It was evident in his bulging trousers. There was blatant hunger in his eyes like a man dying of thirst but found an oasis in the dessert, and that oasis just happen to be me.

I could tell he was thinking of ripping my Stella Mcarthy from my body any minute now and the horror must be written on my face. My ensemble cost more than four thousand dollars, and my Dior slacks were new.

We seemed to read each other's minds.

"Alright Ms. Babcock. Either you willingly disrobe, or I will rip every branded clothing on your body, especially your Victoria Secret. I do not care if my monthly paycheck is not enough to cover the damage," he said matter-of-factly without releasing me from between his legs.

With trembling fingers, I unbuttoned the first button of my coat, but my fingers were shaking I couldn't undo past the third button. Niles had gotten impatient, and his lips descended on mine as he took over removing my coat.

I couldn't breathe. His kisses were hungry… possessive. He wouldn't let me take some air. I shivered as I felt the air-conditioner on my bare skin as he proceeded to expertly remove my Stella McCarthy grey spaghetti strapped top.

I knew I should protest but I was getting more and more heady by the minute that I had nothing but acquiescence for the onslaught of his lovemaking.

Finaly his lips left mine when I was completely naked, his warm, expert hands gliding down my backside and legs, slipping off my Victoria Secret, the last piece of clothing covering me. I took this chance to gasped for a little air. He was still completely clothed as his eyes consumed every part of me. I almost expected him to throw insults my way as he usually did.

"You're even more beautiful than I have imagined," he whispered before his lips found mine once again.

My heart was beating so loudly I was certain he could hear it. I was getting intimate with my nemesis! His hands started gliding up my inner thighs. I caught his hand and freed my lips from his to protest against the intimacy.

"Niles!" I cried. I hated myself for craving for his touch more and more. He should stop now before I lose myself. I was getting frightened with my response to his touch.

He did not soften his hold and still held me firmly against him.

"Let me have this night and I promise I will make it worth your while."

Everything happened so fast I could not protest any further. Where his hands went, his lips followed, and I was enraptured. He watched as he worked his magic on me util I found my ecstasy. He had enormous self-control and led me into my second blissful rhapsody before slaking his desire and taking me to be his own.

Later, unable to keep my eyes open any further, I nestled my head against the soft pillow. I have never felt so spent from making love before. I felt tender. I lost count how many times he had his way with me, but not before he ensured I had my fill of all the pleasures of lovemaking.

I felt him pull the comforter over my body as he peppered butterfly kisses on the side of my face and whispered sweet nothings to my ear. He kept repeating how beautiful I was and how much he wanted to keep me here forever. I almost opened my eyes to ensure it was Niles talking. Such sweet words from the man who only had insults for me.

Did he think I was asleep? With a soft peck on my lips, I heard the dreaded three words before I let myself give in to oblivion.

I love you.