Ozpin was sitting in his office with is both his right-hand lady in Glynda Goodwitch as well as his left hand in his wetworker Qrow Branwen as they went over Jake's information as Ozpin had hurriedly called upon his confidants feeling the all to powerful familiar feeling of excessive amounts of magic being used.
"Oz, why do you even think it was the brat and why does it matter? If anything, it would just attract Salem to him instead of trying to have her operatives finish off Amber." Qrow groused as he was being ran ragged trying to find the people who had attacked the Fall Maiden Amber in her travels.
"Because such an outburst of magical power means he either was enacting some kind of grand ritual that could have done gods knows what. Or he could have even been fighting her operatives or possibly even Salem herself!" Ozpin sharply responded as he messed with his computer before sagging in his seat and folded his hands in front of his face as he hummed in thought.
"Headmaster you received news?" Mrs. Goodwitch asked calmly, and the immortal old wizard nodded as he leaned back in his chair.
"Yes, it seems that whatever he did he accomplished it as his 'mission' was declared a success and one of his ships will be retrieving him and his team." Ozpin responded before Qrow snorted.
"Kids smart to have whatever crap he wanted to do, be hired by a third party, but he and those androids rely too much on their control over cyberspace and neglect to focus on mundane forms of espionage... And even Androids don't care about a dusty old crow flying into their factory to check what they are doing." Qrow scoffed making both of the other room's occupant's nod. "Now the question is what are they even doing with weird rockets and crap. There's literally no reason to go to space right Oz?" Qrow asked the wise man who had lived for thousands of years.
Ozpin frowned and cast his mind back millennia back when the gods were around and magic in all shapes and power filled the world, but even back then even if wind mages could create an air pocket for people to breath and not be crushed by the void of space, they would also possibly freeze or burn to death in moments outside the planet's protections... In essence there was zero reason to go out into space that Ozpin knew with all his knowledge unless they had some kind of magical telescopes that needed to be at such a height.
But at that point they might as well just investing in scrying magic... Jake's actions were most vexing as he couldn't keep as close an eye on his operations as almost all of his YoRHa group's activities have been moved deep underground both literally and metaphorically.
"No Qrow. Space is dead and beyond all but gods. At least I thought so, until Jake came here with proof of being a magic user from a different world. So, I cannot say what he has planned, but we have made a deal for him to attempt to deal with Salem... And until he makes his attempt on her I won't pressure or needle him until I can find out his worth." Ozpin said cooly as at this point, he was more than willing to trust a foreigner to the world. With his own magical system as Jake had even offered just throw his bitch of an ex-wife into the void of space or even between dimensions.
"Well with Vytal Festival being a couple months away its likely her agents will rise to the surface to try to make a distraction to find Amber if they haven't gotten into Beacon somehow anyway." Qrow said groaning as he popped his back when he stopped leaning on Ozpins desk to take an audible chug of whiskey from his large flask. "Haaa... Anyway, Oz I don't care if the kids your silver bullet for Salem but if he gets Ruby or Yang killed, I will be taking his head with my scythe." Qrow threw out as he morphed into a black crow and flew out an open window as Ozpin dully stared ahead in his office without even responding to Qrow's warning.
Because in the end it hardly mattered to him. He was old, tired, and frankly although he was willing to believe Jake had a bit of a chance with his magic system that was foreign to this world. But Ozpin had hoped for millennia to find a way to deal with Salem only to fail every single time as not even the conceptual power of destruction held in the Relic of Destruction couldnt kill Salem as her immortality was tied to the concept of Grimm within this world via her dip in the Grimm pools that birthed all the Grimm on the world.
Until every Grimm pool was destroyed which was impossible as they supposedly went down to the worlds core and every single living Grimm was destroyed which was also impossible as they could even slumber for decades in caves or just in the middle of a field so plants and soil will literally make a hill out of them. Only if those conditions were satisfied would her immortality lose its power.
'But with Jakes ability to just throw Salem off the world? That had potential.' Ozpin tiredly thought as he sighed taking a hearty drink from his own mug. "Glynda please try to approach Jake to see if he is willing to give you a status update about our deal for my assistance. I have given him much support in resources and making Vale's council look the other way but have received little in return. Its time I got some repayment." Ozpin ordered his headmistress to who nodded in assent as she pushed up her glasses.
"Very well. What should I press for in particular?" She asked respectfully and Ozpin huffed.
"Tell him I want a free membership... I know little kings and conquers like him. He is going to have something to appeal to the masses and with his background its obviously going to be something big. As he needs to amass more resources to do whatever he has planned for next. Should he give me a free pass to whatever he is doing I will essentially get a backstage pass into whatever he is planning for in the future." Ozpin spoke confidently as he dropped his metal mug onto his desk with a solemn clanging noise.
Salem was bewildered to say the least... She knew every flavor of magic on this world and such a magical outburst that she could feel across the world was nothing she had ever felt before.
It certainly wasn't her pathetic ex-husbands decrepit and fading magic, and it most certainly wasn't the deathly wail of one of her previous daughter's souls that were made into Ozpin's precious Maidens flaring their magic before they moved onto another host.
"Most vexing... Has one of the gods left some kind of backup or done anything at all?" Salem pondered as she stood at the edge of her tower overlooking the blackened hellscape that was the Grimm Lands.
Salem looked to be a middle-aged woman with snow white hair and ivory pale skin with black veins crossing all over her body under her tightly clinging black dress that had red highlights throughout it.
Salem just stared off into the distance as she pinpointed the relative direction of the magical outburst before her face creased into a frown as she realized that the destination was certainly within the lands surrounding Vale or even within the blasted city itself. With a flex of her will she called upon a Seer, an abnormally docile Grimm that she had created that could carry a piece of her consciousness across the world so she could speak to her servants.
And with a flicker a magical hologram showing her newest pawn already kneeling on the ground as the image cleared. "Ohhhh little Cinder why are you already kneeling? Have you already disappointed me again dear?" Salem spoke with sweet saccharine poison dripping from each word making Cinder's form shiver in place and in turn Salem's infernal red eyes tighten into slits as fury and disappointment filled her.
"What did you do Cinder Fall." Salem softly hissed as Cinder looked up resignedly as she began to speak.
"The White Fang operatives I have recruited have been gutted due to their independent action in raiding an unregistered military bullhead factory that was... Obscenely defended to the point of incredulity leading to many casualties and even after I burned a couple more members of their cabal to death as a warning to stay in line. Most have fled the Vale chapter of the White Fang." Cinder Fall tried to excuse herself in these actions, but Salem just took in Cinder's form as she jabbered on.
Cinder was of course a beauty, a pure femme fatale as she had been trained and actually molded by Salems magic to reach her very peak of beauty to be of further use as Salem's tool. Cinder Fall had long black hair that was as black and shiny as pure darkness or even the sky even light was shone on it. Her body left nothing to complain about even for the most chaste as her curves her shaped to be within the range of perfection to fit upon frame her so she may ply secrets from men and woman alike before silencing them.
Salem then softly spoke as she cupped her face. "Cinder, I gave you two tasks. Finish retrieving the Maidens power and of course bringing me back the relic held somewhere within Beacon. Messing with the animals doesn't seem to be in line to those desires..." Salem then leaned forward closer to the Seer so Cinder could properly sense her distaste at her fearful form.
"Quit with your power games and infiltrate Beacon as you were going to do in the future and along with those previous tasks you will also be searching for recent disturbances along with any odd things that happen around Vale... I will also be sending Tyrian to Vale to make sure you get into Beacon within the week."
"My lady that's not at all needed I can have-" Cinder tried to speak but Salem pushed her will into the Seer and before Cinder could react the Seer on the other end slapped her across the face with one of its many tentacles as the Seer was in the shape of a floating jellyfish with dozens of wrist thick tentacles that could shatter the limbs of huntsmen with aura reinforcement.
A moment of silence filled the magical call before Salem spoke with just a tiny amount of anger in her voice but that spark of anger sent chills down Cinder's spine. "Cinder, I hear your little pet Emerald is a bit younger than you and has an even more useful semblance. Make sure to train her a bit in how to use your Maiden powers... It would be highly convenient for me if after Tyrian kills you for failing me again, he can bring your gaslit little orphan back to me for reeducation." Salem bluntly said as she ended the call with Cinder Fall.
Omake:
"My Lady?"
"This doesn't make any sense..." the woman muttered, helmet discarded to the side as she glared at the runes spread in front of her. "It's almost as if..." she trailed off before a growl left her lips and, with a swipe of her arm and a small application of the warp's power, the carved black tokens once more rose and landed on the ceramic bowl resting on her thighs.
Grabbing the bowl with one thin arm, she gave it a good, if hurried swirl, and all but hurled the tiny stones to the floor.
He might've been but a simple follower of the path of the Warrior, but still, seeing the always elegant and composed woman in such a state... it disturbed him, pupils dilated, scarlet locks in disarray... It was almost as if-
"No! This is impossible! I won't allow it!" she howled like a Banshee and he took a step back.
He gulped and raised an arm as if to grasp her. "My Lady Farseer-"
Eyes filled with purple fire fixed upon him and he, as a proud Eldar Warrior most definitely did not whimper!
"You!"
"M-my Lady?"
"As much as I want to deny it, the runes speak clearly, we're about to face a threat more grand than any other! Its time to contact my... my sister. Go!" she said, and, with a gesture of her arm pushed him out of the room in a display of telekinetic might... causing him to land in a humiliating position. Face down ass up. This couldn't get any worse.
"Hah! Finally realized where you belong eh?"
The smug voice of his hated rival made him groan, just his luck that the asshole decided to patrol this alley of the Craftworld at this time.
He raised his arm in a mon-keh gesture. "Blow me." in response the prick sniffed and started walking again.
Jake did his best to stand still as 2B behind him, went about the now familiar task of doing one last check on his suit and equipment. The woman's hands continued down his back before pausing upon touching a strap and pulling, making him grunt at the unexpected tug as she tightened what seemed to be a loose strap.
"Sorry, Jake."
"Nothing to it."
Her hands let go of the strap and his back, and continued their searching motions before, at last the overly cautious android was satisfied and with a rustle of feet she stood up to her full height again and tapped him on the shoulder.
"All clear."
He nodded. "Thanks 2B," he said and spun around, quick enough to see the woman in the process of doing the same... and thus catch a glimpse of her glorious ass jiggling.
Jake bit his lip.
"Is something wrong?" the damn minx asked voice husky and tone innocent, even cocking her hip to the side as she did.
He could delay this mission, yes. But, it would still be something he'd have to deal with eventually. So best get on with it.
Mastering all of his will, and in the privacy of his mind being thankful that it wasn't A2 and her sass ass tempting him, he, by the thinnest of margins managed to tear his eyes away and raise a trembling arm towards 2B's defenseless form and... start checking the woman's own armor and equipment.
2B let out a sniff and crossed her arms, yet Jake was undeterred as he went about his work.
"You know, you still have time to change your mind," he said as he knelt, and if he spent more time checking down there, it was in the name of thoroughness alone, yes.
With one hand on her thigh and its strap and another on her cake factory as support, Jake could feel every flex and twitch of 2B's muscles as she partially turned her torso and head to look down at him.
"Jake?"
"It will be dangerous, after all. We've taken precautions, yes. But even so, I can't guarantee your safety and-"
Soft warm fingers landing on his head and rustling his hair made him pause and turn his head upwards, only to find a soft smile and a blue eye radiating warmth down at him.
"Jake. It is my duty, no, my privilege to serve as your bodyguard! And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Plus I won fair and square!"
In another room, a certain white-haired woman saw red all of a sudden and pushed the servos in her leg way past their limits and kicked, the dummy in front of her exploding. Fair her perfectly sculpted ass! She didn't know how, but the bitch had clearly cheated!
"Dear, I've grown strong, but I'm not 100% I can protect you, you might die. Truly die."
2B shook her head, smile still in place.
"And as long as you live, I don't care."
Against the conviction inherent in her word and smile, Jake could say nothing.
With a sigh, he climbed to his feet and patted the girl on the shoulder. "All clear."
The girl nodded and turned, facing him.
"Last chance, there's no going back," he said and 2B smiled before diving in quick and planting a peck on his cheek.
With the woman's giggles in his ears and a smile of his own, despite the situation, Jake jerked his fingers and on a nearby table, a almost invisible glow enveloped the pair of helmets before they shot through the air, landing on their respective arms.
He raised it to his head and with a hiss of displaced air and an electronic whine, the helmet locked into place, its systems and hud coming online. 'Best Wife OS online!' a robotic voice proclaimed and Jake snorted, leave it to his princess' to dive into programing with gusto all so that she would be the first thing Jake thought off when wearing his armor.
The smile slipped from his face, it was time. Reaching deep within him, to the core of his being, he grasped at the energy that made up his true self and pulled.
Outside, a few feet from them a dark portal sprung into existence. This was it then.
"Munition designated: 'Black Barrel' ready." Out of the corner of his eyes, 'Patty's' form-2B's flying xbox-approached, in its digits holding a disproportionate rectangular silver suitcase. Dropping it into 2B's waiting arms, the woman grunting at the weight.
Jake frowned and faced the portal, exhaling, he strode towards it, his white-haired waifu trailing behind him. It was do or die time.
"Stay close to me, 2B."
"Yes!"
6O fidgeted in place, she didn't know why the commander had insisted they meet in a room such as this, with its absurdly tall ceiling, the wide pane of etched windows behind her filled with symbols out of mythology... nor why the blonde wore those orange rimmed round glasses as she sat ram-rod straight in her chair behind that sprawling desk.
It was certainly unsettling thought!
"So, these are the facts, as we have them," White said, her mouth hidden behind her clasped fingers as she eyed each and every one of the gathered members of Yorha. "and thus, your mission if you choose to accept it is to do your best to ensure that no forward base is established. For the psychological profiling paints a disturbing if unavoidable conclusion. And that is something we cannot allow. After all..."
The shadows of the in-between faded and Jake grunted.
For the moment they did, an oppressive pressure crushed down on them.
"J-Jake..."
Threatening to crush them into paste, he could endure it with ease. And yet, the note of pain in her voice cinched it for him.
Bringing his power to bear, he shoved the metaphysical weight aside. Holding it at bay and allowing them to take a breath of respite.
Observe the space around them.
Gold. Gold as far as the eye could see.
The roof fresco depicting macabre scenes of past glories made him frown and tear his eyes away, the mountain like pillar with the shining beacon of blazing power naturaly drawing his attention, no doubt the source of the pressure, and then the thousand upon thousand of black marble steps trailing down, leading towards them and upon whose edges, golden warriors were arrayed at regular intervals. Warriors who were turning towards them, gripping their halberds tight.
So, it would seem that it was the worst case scenario after all, huh.
Jake jerked his head and sent a mental command through their suits connected network, before starting to draw forth more of his reserves, while behind him, frame tense, 2B's fingers danced across the suitcase, undoing its latches and-
"HOLD"
Just as the first Custodes were about to reach them, the mechanical voice, which somehow tasted of gold of all things. Made the warriors freeze. Their leader, charging at the spear of their formation turn his head slightly towards the pillar of power in the distance.
"M-my Lord?" the man's tone held a tone of... whining? "They're intruders to your most holly of sanctums, why would you want us to stop?"
"Because Numbnuts, they are something new, fresh, and lack the touch of the four. So, I would speak with the travelers from the beyond."
The lead Custodes seemed agitated. "But, m-my lord-"
Only for Jake to do a doubletake as a white spectral arm appeared next to the warrior in gold... and bitch-slapped the man.
"Unless you want to clear my bowels again, I suggest you cease trying to think. Why did Kitten have to go on another trip with Magnus and leave me with you three... again?"
"M-my Lord..."
On the one hand, as the eye-searing sea of gold plate and spear parted, so as to allow them to pass and start ascending the steps to the throne, Jake was glad that they'd avoided the worst case scenario. At least for now. On the other...
Hearing a trans-human warrior sniffle and sob like a maiden rejected was an experience he could have done without.
Ascending the steps, the pressure grew as they approached the husk of Big E. Forcing him to draw more of his strength to ward off the effects and the threat to 2B.
But, at long last, they reached the top and-
"Holy toaster~!" only to come face to face with the form of one of mars' top toaster worshipers, the tech-priest's eyes seeming to light up at the sight of 2B and all but leaping towards her, arms and fingers spread, already making grabbing motions. "Rero~rero~rero-"
Jake took a quick step in front and prepared to put the fool who lusted after swan meat to the ground... only for the spectral arm to appear again, and do his job for him.
"Cawl, cease."
"Yes, oh holy toaster lord," the groaning man said as he lay sprawled on the ground, but otherwise not moving.
Grabbing 2B by the arm, and taking a wide berth around the man, Jake came to stand in-front of the desiccated corpse of a man whose motives and thoughts millions had pondered.
A man that, so far, was unlike what he had been expecting.
"Greetings, Big E, I'm Jake, and my companion by my side is 2B, and, I've come to you with a proposal."
"So I've gathered, but before we do anything else I must know the value of your character, the weight of your convictions. Thus a question."
He tensed, this was it, the question that would make or break everything, but, he had an equally important question of his own. Jake opened his mouth.
"So, answer me this, Jake."
The pressure grew almost intolerable, and behind them, he could hear gasps coming from both the tech-priest and those among the Custodes who had followed them up the steps.
He gulped and, behind the comfort of his mask, felt rivulets of sweat run down his brow.
A mere warrior such as he, had no right to be in the presence of such esteemed figures, nor attend their gathering.
Still, looking around the room, from its smooth gently curving ceiling to the round brown table in its center and the figures arrayed around it, a sensation, a feeling of almost pride welled up in his chest.
For the Farseer herself to deem him worthy of being in their presence! Why it meant that perhaps-
"You!"
He snapped to attention and stepped away from the curving wall. "M-My Lady?"
She snapped her fingers. "More tea."
His shoulders slumped.
"Yes, my Lady." he said, and ignoring the muffled snickers and shaking of the asshole's shoulders, of course he had to be here as well, reached for the pitcher on a nearby table and begun pouring a cup.
"The tidings you bring are indeed worrisome, Macha," a smooth cultured voice, belonging to the black-haired and... well-developed sister of his Lady said. "But, that prick Eldrad, all but confirmed your readings.
"And that, is something I will not allow," the white-haired beauty with a top knot flowing out into a long ponytail growled, slamming her fist into the table. "After all, this is a plan 10 millennia in the making!"
"Hear hear, Yvraine!" His Lady said.
"How do you feel about elfussy?"
"How do you feel about robussy?"
For the span of a mortal heartbeat, silence enveloped the Golden Throne and then, amidst shouts of 'not again', some of the surprised Custodes lost their footing and begun tumbling down the steps.
But Jake cared little for them, for it would seem that Big E? This version of him at least? They... they could understand one another.
The spectral arm appeared in front of him, more human sized this time, and with a grin, Jake took a step forward and clasped it.
"After all, Jake is ours!"
"After all, The Emperor is mine!"
"After all, Guilliman is mine!"