(Early Author's Note: And here we are, chapter 2! Honestly, it's a little less in word length than chapter 1, but hopefully it still serves as a good read. Now to talk about the chosen anime.
Spy x Family is one of those animes that I like, yet cannot find the words to describe besides feel-good and something for the whole family. I definitely love it, and really wish season 3 would at least be announced by now. However, I suppose a few things I could mention are some gripes. One of which being about Yor. I don't like Yor. I just don't. I have no particular reason (besides her being fairly stupid, a bad cook, and a drunkard). And while (if I may say so) her figure is very appealing, I still don't like her. I much rather prefer Fiona. Maybe it's because I just like white hair and blue eyes? Maybe because she's kinda got something going on beneath that turtleneck sweater? Or maybe because there's some potential for her to stop with her stone-face thing. Really, I think her being in the wife role would've helped with that, along with fulfilling her dream of being Twilight's wife. Another thing is that while Anya is funny and adorable and she's amazing, HOW can she still be do darn garbage with her grades?! I don't know how Eden handles it, but over in our world we call it 'reason for expulsion'. Plus, why can't Damian quit with his 'ooh, I like this girl but I'm too proud to accept it' Tsundere thing? Like, buddy, it's alright. You like her? Like her. You still want to maintain authority and honor? Be a gentleman and get those Stella. And finally, Yuri... Oh, Yuri, Yuri, Yuri... Please, get over your sister. In our world, if you went any farther, we'd call that 'incest' and 'SWEET HOME ALABAMA'. And we don't like that.
ANYWAYS, I would answer reviews, but I did through PM so... let's start!)
The Aviarsenal
Realm of the Sorceror
Foghorn Leghorn
When he looked around himself, Foghorn found he was in what looked like a field, but as he looked further he found what seemed to be different biomes; jungle, arctic, forest, desert and the like. And at the very edge, Foghorn saw tall bars rising up into the sky and converging at a point high up.
Then a rainbow mist congealed into a hunched over, man-high bird creature with blue feathers and white robes that shimmered with all known colors of the Omniverse. "Interesting, FogHOrn. And PErfect. THat world will bE irreparably CHAnged now! On that PoinT–"
"Now hold one, you dang Smurf-Bird!"
"Do not darE–"
"Don't interrupt, boy, it's bad manners." Foghorn said, then muttered none-too-subtly "Boy says he's a god but he don't got the manners of one…" He faced Tzeentch again and said "Ya can't go pullin' me outta worlds like that, boy! Lord knows what Company 8's thinkin' seeing me get dragged into a birdcage! I can tell this's s'pposed ta be a joke boy, good one, but in poor taste at the moment. Why in the how-come heck didja even pull me out anyways, boy? Now I don't claim to know every little thing, but as a Motivational Advisor I do know that ya made me yer bringer of change, and so that's what I was tryin' to do! Ya want me in the field or… or here, boy?! Make up your mind, I say, make it up, boy!"
"SHUT UP!" Tzeentch boomed. The cage suddenly shook as if lightning struck it. He then towered to his full high and said "YouR're WeAring my Serenity and GOODwill thin! Your place is bEneath me, VERmin! I am YOur patroN, and will bE treated as such!" He then breathed deeply and exhaled, and pointed to the birdcage. "Do you see what is between the bars? Look."
Foghorn looked up, but he was too far away. He was going to say as much when suddenly everything seemed to zoom in; and he could see past the obvious daylight, and see the roiling and changing colors behind. Stars (that were in fact different worlds) were constantly appearing and disappearing, beginning and dying, growing greater or weaker.
"Yeah, nice background lightshow, boy. Now what?"
Tzeentch failed to suppress a sigh as he said "ManY worlds lie before you, Pawn, and befOre you go enact my Will, I must bEstow a BLESSING to aid you. I…" Tzeentch paused, clearly in pain over having to say the next words. But Foghorn saying them for him didn't help.
"I get it, boy, ya don't need ta say a thang. You forgot. At the end o' the day, some gods are just like us. And that is a good, I say, I say, a GOOD thing, boy. We mortals ain't concerned with being know-it-alls or bird-like to impress our avian friend, or—and this is important, boy—tryin' to act all high-up and tough cuz we're divine. Speakin' of, boy, I know you want me doin' this for nefarious, I said, nefarious goals, and you may say I did what you wanted to help you, but nah! I did it, I say, I say, I did it for all of them. Doin' good, boy, that's what you should strive for as a self-named God of Change. Which, you know boy, I say it reminds me o–"
"Enough…" Tzeentch grumbled, rubbing his temples. "YouR unWanted advIce rattLes around me incessantLy. NOW." He suddenly became dramatic and godly again as he said "BeGin youR chOosing of poWers!" A flaming roll of paper appeared in Foghorn's hand, but the flame was cool, and Foghorn saw the words shift and change from some strange language into English.
-In this world of supposed peace, war still rages on. A war of information and espionage. Spies, secret police, revolutionaries, and many other such groups run amok in the shadows, trying to win their silent war. You will enter in Berlint, capital city of the oppressive east country of Ostania, on the night the Thorn Princess goes to eradicate the group known as the Red Circus.
Now, choose your Blessings.-
Suddenly, the paper extended to show lists of different powers and abilities.
–Boneless Limbs: Berlint is a cruel city if you refuse to bend to its government's ways. In order to slip away anywhere (or thrash out at all who would face you), you can grow long-reaching tentacles. Your body also becomes as malleable as clay, and you can go anywhere with a crack in it.
–Prying Orbs: The city has many secrets in dark places, some even in the light of day but well hidden. From all but you, and your piercing myriad of eyes, each which sees more than any mortal.
–Defiance: You will not bend or break to any power (save Tzeentch only), and your resolution will inspire others the same way. Any wrong powers that be will tremble before your defiant righteousness. You are also able to defy normal laws of physics, attuning them to your Toonish nature.
–Words of Power: To bring yourself or others out of the darkness, your words can break through any amount of programming or propaganda.
–Sixth Sense: Even the most stealthy spy cannot get the drop on you, and no signals or signs can escape your reading gaze.
–Omnipen: A handy relic of the Architect of Fate, used to erase, draw, or color anything it can touch.
–Pistol with a Silencer: It's a gun that shoots bullets silently. Not much else to say 'bout it.
CHOOSE.
"Well ya certainly got some interestin' things, boy." Foghorn said. He looked over them again and chose Defiance, Words of Power, Omnipen, and Sixth Sense. The paper suddenly burst into pink flames and flew off as ashes in the wind.
"So yOu begIn aT last. BE off and brinG glorIous chaNgeS."
Then the bars of the cage began to roll back like a coil as the daylight sky parted like a curtain to reveal the Omniverse behind. It grew in intensity and mass until one star glowed brighter than the rest, its light spreading and enveloping Foghorn until he saw naught but white.
Northern District of Berlint
An abandoned building's alleyway
When Foghorn could see clearly again, he was in a dirty alley. The sky was dark overhead, and stars were twinkling. He slowly got to his feet, mumbling "Boy can't have the decency of a divine to set me down gently? Or somewhere nice, I say, nice? Boy plopped me down in a pigsty! I say, I say–" But suddenly stopped when he heard footsteps.
Dmp
Dmp
Dmp
Dmp
"C'mon, Billy, listen! I know what I saw! The Thorn Princess is coming! I'd recognize that bust of her anywhere!"
A man with tired eyes, a beanie, and a bag slung over his shoulder looked over to his companion, a younger man with frightened eyes and a panicked expression. He sighed and replied "Of course that's how you'd know her."
"Heheh, well… I mean, how else can I?" The younger man shook his head violently. "B-but that's not the point! The point is, we need to get you outta the country now, before it's too late! I'm sure once we reach base the others'll–"
Suddenly, from out of the alley beside them, a large rooster walked out, saying "Now boy, I say, boy don't you feel ashamed?! Wantin' ta run away like a squirrel from a dog! Boy, you gotta–"
Click
Ch-chk
"Wh-what… are you?" the older man, Billy, said nervously yet cooly, pointing a shotgun at Foghorn while the younger man pulled out a pistol with a silencer. Foghorn looked down at Billy sternly and said "Now boy, don't you point that peashooter at me, boy! Y'ain't gonna do more than lose your only hope of escapin'. That was a hint boy, ya missed it, flew right over ya!" Foghorn turned the shotgun away, Billy too stunned to resist, and said "Now listen boy, I say, I say, listen: that Thorn Princess y'all talkin' 'bout is comin'. I daresay, daresay, she's nearly on top of us! Now see, boy, my job is to get you safe, and then help y'all with this country. 'Cause ya see, boy, this clearly ain't no America! No freedom or bravery 'round here, from what I've been told! Now lead me to ya compadres and let's go on from there, boy."
The younger man held up his gun and cried "O-oh yeah? And why sh-should we trust y-y-you?!" but then Billy put up his shotgun and said to him "Put it down, Peter. Maybe we can see what exactly this… this thing knows."
"I ain't no thing, boy, I'm a rooster."
"Right. Yeah. Follow us, Rooster."
"Name's Foghorn Leghorn, boy, your Motivational Advisor. You're welcome."
Billy couldn't help but sweatdrop at that as he said "Riiiight…"
When they reached the base (it was more of an abandoned mall than anything), a guard outside saw the three and said "Billy! Who's the… er, uh…" Billy patted him on the shoulder as he passed, saying "A new recruit. Our 'Motivational Advisor'. Keep close watch. Apparently the Thorn Princess is coming."
"T-th-the Th-Th-Th-Th-Thorn P-P-P-Princess?!" he stuttered, but the three just passed him by, with Foghorn saying "Don't you worry, boy. That wicked royalty's not gonna mess anything up for ya! You just see her, and run like the wind to warn us, got it? Ya gotta be brave if you're gonna fight for yer country's freedom, boy. In my country, freedom and bravery aren't just what created it, but what flows through its veins; and the peoples'! So chin up, I said, chin up, youngblood! We'll survive this yet!"
The guard seemed to shake off whatever fear held him and saluted before doing a patrol from the entrance to the edge of the sidewalk.
"You have a way with words, don't you?" Peter asked. "We could use some for sure." Foghorn laughed and said "That's why I'm here, boy."
They walked up to the second floor and were stopped at a rotating door, boarded up so no one looks through the glass paneling. Billy walked up and gave a knock reminiscent of circus music. "Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot…?" a voice said behind the door.
"...Afro." Billy replied, then muttered "We really gotta change the password one of these days…" as he, Peter, and Foghorn entered into a large room filled with people. Most wore red clothing of some kind or had circus attire or themes. "Billy! There you are! Listen, we've been thinking of pulling a raid on the SSS base. Sounds crazy, I know, but we have the numbers. We can do this if we just… uh… Who's the weirdo in the chicken costume?" Foghorn huffed as Billy said "That's Foghorn Leghorn, our Motivational Advisor and an actual rooster. Not a weirdo in a costume. But that's not important," He gazed at the suddenly terrified faces turned towards Foghorn. "What is important is that we evacuate and proceed with that plan."
Vadim, a man with glasses and a trucker cap, said "What? Why? I mean, it's nice you agreed so quickly, but–"
"The Thorn Princess is coming. We don't have time to plan, just to act."
"The Th-Thorn P-P-Princess?!"
The universal fear made Foghorn wonder. Could one lady really be so evil and scary? Shaking his head, he turned to Vadim and said "So what's the exact plan, boy? Ya aren't just gonna waltz up in there and start fighting, are you, boy?" Vadim shook his head, saying "N-no. The idea was to have a small team sneak in and free some of our Red Circus comrades and then open the doors from the inside. Then the main force of us, waiting outside, can flood in and deal with those corrupt agents. One giant leap for Eastern freedom!" Everyone gave cheers (if nervous ones) at that, and then began to immediately start packing. "C'mon, Foghorn. You can't get caught by the Princess either." said Billy, and they went off with the others.
-Some time later-
Yor Briar was a simple woman to those who knew her. Of course, they didn't know she was actually the deadly contract-killer known as the Thorn Princess. Then she'd have to kill them, and she doesn't want to do that! She'd rather kill people who deserved it!
Like those dastardly Red Circus scumbags.
Honestly, who do they think they are, going on and on about the government being 'oppressive' and 'corrupt'? They're just terrorists who want to be in charge themselves. That cannot be allowed.
So, like any do-gooding loyalist to one's own country, Yor strolled up to the Red Circus' base ready to murder them all for treason and evil-doing.
And instead found nothing.
Not a person.
Not a breath.
Not an object not nailed to the floor.
Not even a "hee-hee!".
Nothing!
"Huh? HUUUUUUUUUUUUUU–?!"
The next day, Foghorn and six other Red Circus members stood at the back of the SSS HQ building. Looking at it, Foghorn noticed just how depressing it looked. Long, grey slabs of wall with few windows, and a single small back door. "Alright Foghorn," said one Circus crewmate. "You lure out as many agents as you can, and then we'll slip in and free our comrades and crush the SSS from the inside out!"
"Ya don't need ta tell me, boy. I got this."
Foghorn boldly walked up to the back door, its lone camera laser-focused on him. "Hey boys, I say, boys! I know you can hear me in there! Now I'm sure as this country's police force you just think you're doing your country proud, but I say, I say you in fact are NOT. You can't go putin' people behind bars for every little thing. Especially if what they were doing was right! I say, I say, you cannot—now listen hear, now—be doin' any of this any longer! Come on out and let's settle this civil-like, ya hear?"
No answer. Instead, almost immediately, the door swung open and a dozen SSS agents piled out with guns locked and loaded. "Fire!" shouted one. "He's one crazy rebel!" shouted another as they fired their guns. Foghorn pulled out the Omnipen and drew a door, opened said door, and watched the agents' dumbstruck looks as their bullets flew through the door.
Up above, another door appeared as FOghorn waved his Omnipen around, and the bullets came streaming out like rain upon the agents.
"Whoa!"
"EE-e-ohh!"
"Look out!"
"CHARGE!" shouted a Red Circus crewman as they barreled through the agents, pinning them down and stealing their weapons. Foghorn was about to enter when a needle-like weapon zoomed out from nowhere. He, however, sensed it and turned sharply in its direction and drew up a shield, tanking the hit. From above jumped down a woman in a black dress with a black mask covering her entire face.
"So you're in charge of these fiendish scum, huh?" the woman said.
"If you don't me asking, sir, might I have the honor of taking your–HURGH!"
Foghorn drew a punch gun and pulled the trigger, socking the woman dead in her jaw and sending her flying into the open lid of a dumpster. She then fell into said dumpster, only to soon jump up and say "Ack! That hurt! You won't get lucky–"
SLAM
Then the dumpster lid slammed on her with the force of an anvil.
"Well now, girl couldn't pay attention to a thing. Tsk, tsk, tsk…"
Blam blam blam!
BOOM
Noises from inside the base (along with the sudden alarms) drew Foghorn's attention, and he waltzed inside with his punch-gun. One SSS agent tried to jump out of a locker and got punched back into it (the door even slammed on him), another fired a gun only for Foghorn to draw an invisible box around him, and two tried to attack at once, but Foghorn just slapped them both upside the head into unconsciousness. He passed Red Circus guys looting the drawers and lockers while others ran up from heavy doors with other people in prison garbs or just tattered remains of their regular clothes. He could see the front gate, and Billy standing there shouting "Come on, come on! We've done enough! Get out before the cops arrive!" Foghorn made to turn back out the back door, but suddenly a young man with black hair and red eyes blocked his path with an enraged face.
"You… you FILTHY SCUM!" he shouted. "Filthy, traitorous, terrorists! How dare you do this?! The SSS will hunt you all down for treason! And you, weird, costumed chicken-man, are first!" He then charged Foghorn with a gun in each hand, firing as he ran.
But Foghorn just used his punch gun again and socked him in the gut. The man then bowled over and rolled into the wall. But, as Foghorn turned away, the man jumped up and launched a flying towards Foghorn, but he turned at once as the man flew past him. "What?! How could he react that fast?! No one could be able to like that!" he thought as he tried to stand up again. He turned around, but was face-to-face with Foghorn who said "Now boy, I say boy, you just sit your behind right there alright? We don't wanna hurt all of ya. We just tryin' ta make your country great again, ya hear, boy?" The man snarled, saying "The hell you are! You're ruining it! Your very existence ruins it! And as an SSS agent and a proud defender of Ostania, I WILL put a bullet in your skull! That I–BWUH?!"
Foghorn just punched him with the punch gun, knocking him out. He then left with the others, leaving behind a ruined, raided, and much less occupied SSS base.
-Later...?-
"Urrrrgh… Uaaawwuhh?" mumbled the young man as he awoke from his slumber. He looked around and found multiple SSS agents scrambling to restore order to the base.
"What… happened…?" His eyes widened suddenly and he shot up like a thunder bolt.
"Right! The Red Circus, that crazy rooster guy… The tapes and files!" He rushed to the Archives and found them emptied. One of the men looking through the place spotted him and said "Oh, hey Yuri. Missed quite a bit of action. They stormed in, took just about everything, and ran like the wind as soon as the cops showed up. We caught a few, but they're really tight-lipped. We threatened them with everything under the sun and they still won't spill it."
Yuri looked around, rubbing his face, and said "So, what now?"
"Now? Now we head to the Berlint News Station and keep those terrorists from releasing classified information."
-Two days later-
Billy looked over his Red Circus Army, watching as they marched out of the cars and trucks and buses to await the storming of Berlint's New Station. This place broadcasted all across the country, in every home that had a TV or radio. This was the perfect place to show off all the horrible things done by the government and SSS. He turned to face Foghorn, who held the material, and said "You ready, Foghorn? They probably have the place locked down ever since they found out we swiped all the dirt on 'em." Foghorn just snorted and replied "Boy, I'da thought ya had more faith in me by now. I know what to do, boy. Dontcha worry none."
The plan was to have Foghorn sneak in and start the broadcast, then the RCA would storm and secure the place with the SSS trying to reach him.
And so Foghorn began his infiltration of the News Station.
By using the Omnipen to draw a door that lead into the main recording room.
Billy and the others watched with wide-eyed shock as Peter said "Hey… Where do you think we can get that?"
Foghorn meanwhile entered into the recording room. Empty. He wasn't really tech-savvy, but he knew how to operate this stuff, and soon he began his show.
3…2…1…BEGIN
"And goooooooooood morning, I say, I say, good morning to you all out there in Ostania today! My name's Foghorn Leghorn, and today, I say, I say, today, the truth about this government, and the SSS comes out to y'all. Now, I know, I know, how can you trust the word of a talking rooster your government's already labeled a terrorist? Well, lemme show, not tell…"
He then played video upon video of the SSS performing cruelties upon their prisoners, government officials performing all kinds of corrupt acts, and many parts of Berlint poor because of them. Such a show caused many to watch or listen with intent, including many spies and agents all throughout. Yuri was shaking with rage, watching from the main-screen TV in the Station's main room, before rushing up the stairs.
"ROOSTEEEEERRRRR!"
Outside, Billy then gave the signal and led the RCA into the Station. Their sheer numbers and zeal overpowered the SSS and just as Yuri burst down the door, Foghorn turned the camera over to him, saying "And here we have one of the scoundrels right here, I said, right here! Yuri Briar, a fairly new SSS recruit, but no less, I say, I say no less dangerous and wicked as the rest! Now the–"
"SHUT UP!" Yuri screamed, leaping at the camera and breaking it to pieces. But then Billy came in and tied him down as over his radio a voice said "Billy! We've seized the Capital Building! All the corrupt crackpots are being tied down and are confessing! We've done it!" The others soon cheered and hollered as Billy said "Yeah… we did. Are you happy, Biddy…? We've done it." Foghorn watched him shed a tear and placed a hand on his shoulder, saying "Ya know, boy, I could use a leader like you with my line o' work. It's no easy feat freein' countries or doing stuff like this. Besides, I say, I say you look to have some time on your hands." Billy looked from him to the Red Circus guys. He then nodded.
"Yeah. I suppose being an international revolutionary wouldn't be too bad. Let's just do a clean-up here, set up the newer government, and then we'll leave. But… how do you manage to do this all over the world?
"Well… I have a benefactor who helps out."
Billy laughed, saying "What are the odds? So do we. With his help we had the numbers to do any of this to begin with. Of course, he wants his own man in charge, but they're both trustworthy so we don't mind."
Foghorn suddenly grew suspicious. "And who is this benefactor of yours, boy?"
"Some guy from the Far East. Said his name was Tsien-Tsin."
(Ending Author's Note: OOOOHHH BOY! Am I glad I got this one out! Honestly, I wasn't facing writers' block so much as I was facing writers' hatred of writing for extended amounts of time in short succession. It's boring and takes up time, which yes, is a lazy thing to say. But nevertheless I have bestowed another chapter, and I hope I have done good enough to warrant review, followers and favorites. Please share with others if you like, and have a good day (or night).
May your tale be told and never end!)