Okay guys, So I'll be honest, this chapter is gonna be clunky simply because its filler, and I just need it to fill in for the rest of the plot. So yes, I forgot to add some characters, yes the dialogue is odd. But its just to get something out of the way really quick.
"This is bullshit." Jem couldn't believe it. He was actually jealous of the rat pack now.
His mother had been doting on them ever since she saw them. He had never seen so many cookies baked all at once. She wanted to make sure each child had a healthy helping of cookies. But the kicker was what she said next.
"How about that?! You gave me more grandchildren after all!" He still rolled his eyes at the comment.
Seriously, you adopt ONE faunus, and next thing you know, you seem to attract faunus children like crazy. It was like he was a magnet for it. Sometimes he felt like his life was just one trope right after another. But on the bright side, he got to change out of his butler uniform. And his mother had brought some spare ammunition for him. Ruby however had taken possession of his rifle for the time being, he had no idea why, but he could only hope that she was doing something bad ass with it. He sighed as he sat down and sipped on his cup of tea.
He looked over to see that Ghira and his dad seemed to be getting along fine. Both were complimenting each other on their beards. So it was refreshing to see that his dad didn't seem to have a problem with the fact he had just traveled across the universe. Then he remembered his dad was a Vietnam vet and wasn't scared of shit. Traveling through the space time continuum was probably a nice walk in the park compared to Saigon.
"So hang on, you mean to tell me you somehow traveled to another planet?" Kali had a skeptical look on her face as she talked to her daughter.
"I know it sounds crazy but its true." Blake didn't know how to slowly break it to her parents.
"But they don't look like aliens?" All of Jem's family groaned at that.
"Thats the same thing Nala said when Jem first met her." Pa grumbled as that seemed to be a common thing.
"Uhm, we prefer to be called "extraterrestrials", aliens is bigoted and wrong." Jem said sarcastically.
"Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't-" He cut off Kali right there.
"Relax, I'm joking." He rolled his eyes at that.
He was pretty sure he lost brain cells saying that. He couldn't believe someone would actually be dumb enough to actually believe that.(1)
He helped himself to a cookie that his mom was baking. The little mice children had passed out on the couch and floor after Momma had given them enough sugar to feed an army. He savored the taste of chocolate chips as he sat down and poured himself a glass of milk. This was the most comfortable he had been in the last few days. He had a lot more respect for maids and butlers, because he was certain it was going to be easy. But it was amazing just how much bullshit could pile on in one work day.
"You look happy." Ruby said as she came back covered with soot.
"I've never been happier." Jem was tenderly eating the cookie like it was his lover.
He was being so gentle and so tender that it actually made Winter jealous.
"Jesus, just look at how hes eating that..." Winter thought as she couldn't believe how sensual he was being.
"Anyways, why are you covered in soot?" Jem asked as Ruby smiled.
"I told you! It's a surprise!" She said as she reached out to grab a cookie.
Only for Jem to stab a knife down in the table.
Never get between a man who is a fat kid on the inside and his cookies. He didn't stab it anywhere near Ruby's hand, but he was trying to make a point.
"..." Both looked at each other intensely.
"Ruby...these are my cookies...theres plenty right over on that plate." Jem tilted his head to his left.
And Ruby saw a massive pile of cookies on a party platter.
"OOOHHH!" She took the whole thing with her.
"Wait, can you at least give me a hint?" He said as she walked back to the workshop.
"Nope!" She said as she slammed the door.
"RELAX! I'M ALMOST DONE, TRUST ME YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT!" She yelled as Jem heard the sound of power tools going off.
"Eh, this better be good." He said as he really wanted his rifle back.
He looked around the house and came to a realization. So far his time in Remnant had been pretty chill. He knew the world was plagued by Grimm, and that there was danger around every corner. But for just this small moment in time, everything was alright. He had a place to stay. His family and friends were here. And he had helped some orphan children find a place to stay. He scratched the back of his head as he thought of something crazy.
"Shit, please tell me I'm not a mary sue! I helped orphan kids...and Blake's parents like me almost right away, fuck! No way! No way! I am not going to be some goody goody two shoes, holier than thou douchebag mary sue! I'm gonna have to rob a bank or something to prove I can be a asshole!" Jem thought as he was scared as being seen like some kind of divine savior in a shitty fanfic.
So he did the first thing he thought of that would be a dick move.
He punched Jaune in the dick .
"Sack tap!" He yelled as Jaune collapsed to the ground like a crew member working with Alec Baldwin
"*Koff* What the hell was that for?!" Jaune squeaked out as everyone was wondering if Jem had gone nuts since he arrived.
"Sorry, just needed to make sure I can still be a lovable asshole." He said as Jaune glared at him.
And then he punched Jem in the dick.
"OH!" He squeaked out as he joined Jaune on the floor.
"You suck!" Jaune held both of his hands to his crotch.
"And you used Aura..." Jem whimpered out as he cradled his ball.
Meanwhile, everyone else was looking at the pair like they were retarded.
"Worth it." Jem in all honesty didn't believe his life was just an episode in a tv show.
But just in case he was, it didn't hurt to show the viewers that you had a dark side too.
Suddenly they heard the door to the workshop open.
"Jem! I'm done!" Ruby said as Jem sighed and turned to face her.
And suddenly all of Jem's pain disappeared and he shot up in excitement as he saw what was in Ruby's hands.
"OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!OHMYGOSH!" He squealed like a Italian in a pasta factory.
Ruby hadn't been kidding. His plain black AR15 had now been modified to an absolute work of art. Ruby had painted the rifle in a pattern similar to Rhodesian Brushstroke, but it was in a deep crimson color. He held it in his hands as he noticed it felt lighter. He looked down his optic as Ruby got ready to explain the details.
"See that button on the optic? Touch it." She said as Jem followed her instructions.
Immediately it switched from a standard red dot to a thermal.
"You got to be kidding me..." He couldn't believe this.
He was in redneck heaven right now.
"But wait theres more!" Ruby said as Jem pushed the button again.
The optic itself stretched into a long range telescopic sight.
"While the base optic can be used for your standard shooting, the third stage can be used for long range sniping. I figured you would enjoy this feature since you could be both a close range gun fighter as well as a long range fighter if you wanted." Ruby said as Jem swore he could feel his dick moving.
"Also press the button right there on your IR flashlight/Laser pointer attachment." She pointed out as Jem was all too happy to oblige.
Immediately a grenade launcher mech shifted out of the barrel.
"Okay first off, thats awesome, second off how did you do that?!" Jem couldn't believe he was this lucky.
"Well, you used to be a grenadier, and while I could get the shift to work, I couldn't make it something like Nora's so you only get one grenade. So use it wisely." Okay that was a down side, but it was still bad ass.
"But what about melee?" He asked as Ruby smiled.
"Press that other button." She pointed to somethnig close to his charging handle.
He felt the rifle shift.
And he swore he was going to squeal again. He was half expecting a tomahawk and long knife.
He wasn't expecting a dane axe.
A surprise to be sure but a welcome one.
"Ruby...you can have all of my cookies from now on, because this is probably the best gift you could ever give me." Jem shifted it back into a rifle as he slung it across his shoulder.
"You're welcome, any idea what you're going to name it?" She asked as Jem thought about it.
He thought about Red Dawn because of the color. But then he thought of something else. And he knew what he had to choose.
"Ruby Ridge."
(1) Sadly Demi Lovato did say that, now personally I think that her issues with drugs have messed up her mind. But I also think Disney child stars are pushed to the breaking point, because seems like a lot of them end up with drug issues or crazy personalities.
I mean, Demi Lovato, Raven Symone, Miley Cyrus, Shia Labeouf, notice how they're all nuts now?
I love Disney movies, but damn, they really mess up child stars.